Curiosity about a deletion

February 3, 2012 12:11 AM

Over in the Marc Driscoll thread, I made a comment that implied I was waiting for another member to appear before commenting. My intent was to reference a history of interesting discussions we've had about the topic, but I can see that it might've been misunderstood as a cheap shot, implying that I wanted to make fun of that person. The comment was deleted, and while I'm not terribly worked up over it I'm curious. Are there any good rules of thumb about shout-outs to other MeFi folks in threads they might be interested in? Are there good ways to reference pet topics without sounding like you're bagging on someone?
posted by verb to Etiquette/Policy at 12:11 AM (58 comments total)

I think a good rule of thumb might be to say something like, "I'm hoping [member] shows up because they usually have good insights about X," or similar. If you say something ambiguous about just waiting for another member to show up, it will probably be deleted, since pulling people into discussions where they haven't already appeared is usually not cool.
posted by taz (staff) at 12:17 AM on February 3, 2012 [4 favorites]

That's a good and useful rule of thumb. While I thought my comment was funny (along the lines of "popping popcorn and waiting till so-and-so shows up") I can totally see how it would be seen as baiting or antagonistic rather than interested in their contribution. Thanks!
posted by verb at 12:21 AM on February 3, 2012

I'd like to give a shout-out to verb because without one this comment wouldn't have made sense.
posted by gman at 3:24 AM on February 3, 2012 [4 favorites]

If you're really hoping someone will contribute and not just snarking about someone's pet hobbyhorse, is there a reason you wouldn't memail or email them, assuming either is available, to let them know about the thread and your interest in their perspective? It's possible they haven't seen the thread in question or registered it as a topic of interest.
posted by Errant at 4:13 AM on February 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

You know, compared to all the other "my comment was deleted oh noez WHYYYY" threads that have been in here lately, this one is downright genteel. Yay!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:40 AM on February 3, 2012

What exactly was the comment? (You can leave out the member's name if you wish.) On the surface this really seems like an overly aggressive deletion. I know certain Mefites get baited a lot on certain topics, but unless the mod is aware of a specific issue, I don't see the need to intervene.
posted by spaltavian at 5:27 AM on February 3, 2012

I'd like to give a shout out to gman, because he's almost always posted in any given Metatalk thread by now....

Wait, oh there he is.
posted by Brockles at 5:30 AM on February 3, 2012

I hope you weren't thinking of me. I have no intention of commenting on that thread as I am no fan of Driscoll.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:42 AM on February 3, 2012

I'd like to give a shout-out to Errant because....well, I haven't been to Seattle in a while and so haven't seen Errant in a while and so, hi!
posted by rtha at 5:50 AM on February 3, 2012

"Paging ..."

Not that I do do this, but I would only consider doing this in cases where members had useful knowledge (languagehat, peacay, etc.) rather than possibly contrary opinions. The latter seems a bit weird and passive-aggressive to me.
posted by carter at 5:55 AM on February 3, 2012

Paging Dr. Tinycat to the OR!
posted by grobstein at 6:14 AM on February 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

What exactly was the comment? (You can leave out the member's name if you wish.)

See, that's the thing. Now that I type it out EXACTLY, I can totally see what it sounded like and why it was deleted:

"Awesome, A Marc Driscoll thread! I'm going to sit here with my popcorn until valkyryn shows up, then we can sit and make rage faces at him together."

I wrote it while imagining myself eating popcorn with valykyrn and making rage faces at Marc Driscoll. Reading over it again, it sounds like I was looking forward to heckling him. That would be a really dick way to call someone out in a thread, and I think deleting it was totally appropriate.

Thankfully, valykyrn DID weigh in and his comment did not disappoint. He even memailed me to let me know, since I pretty much camp threads like that one to hear what he has to say... The lesson, I think, is that cute-but-ambiguous can easily sound like you're being a jerk and that shout-outs should be a little less ambiguous, or me-mailed, if there's any question about their intent.
posted by verb at 6:23 AM on February 3, 2012 [2 favorites]

In conclusion: Can I get this "someone follows me around and helpfully nukes comments that make me sound like an ass before anyone else notices them" service on other web sites?
posted by verb at 6:27 AM on February 3, 2012 [12 favorites]

Not to make you paranoid, verb, but it's actually the whole community that's following you around and flagging your posts ... ;)
posted by carter at 6:29 AM on February 3, 2012 [2 favorites]

You know, compared to all the other "my comment was deleted oh noez WHYYYY" threads that have been in here lately, this one is downright genteel. Yay!

Guess I'd better put away the popcorn popper and get out the teapot & the finger sandwiches.
posted by Johnny Assay at 6:48 AM on February 3, 2012

"Paging ..."

Yeah we tend to nix these. As taz said our general rule of thumb is not to bring up people in threads where they haven't appeared unless

- it's MeTa and talking about them is pretty much necessary to the thread
- it's unambiguous that you're saying something that isn't a dig or a gratuitous swipe, even to the literal mods like myself

The good rule of thumb is drop them a MeMail instead of bringing them up in the thread, most of the time.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:52 AM on February 3, 2012

Paging shakespeherian.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:14 AM on February 3, 2012

It worked!
posted by shakespeherian at 7:14 AM on February 3, 2012 [3 favorites]

Instead of hoping that they show up just prefix their username with @
posted by joost de vries at 7:16 AM on February 3, 2012

Finger sandwiches are too small. Use the entire hand, please!
posted by owtytrof at 7:16 AM on February 3, 2012

In a former MeFi life, people occasionally asked "Where is he?" or said "He should be along." My favorite was "SUMMON ...".

It didn't end well.
posted by Trurl at 7:35 AM on February 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

What about incantations to banish another user from a thread? Do you delete those?

BY THE POWER OF QUONSAR I COMPELL THEE!
posted by XMLicious at 7:37 AM on February 3, 2012

Did somebody as for me?


I didn't think so.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:43 AM on February 3, 2012

I'm here, fuckers. What I miss?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:46 AM on February 3, 2012

Pony: could we have a courtesy phone?

Or at least decals to put on our current phones to pretend as if we have them?
posted by Lemurrhea at 7:52 AM on February 3, 2012

"I'd like to say hi to my mum, dad, sister and anyone who knows me."

/tonyblackburnpenisjoke
posted by Jofus at 7:52 AM on February 3, 2012

Just a quick tip for the future, if the need arises: Paging me doesn't work; you need to stand in a darkened room, in front of a mirror, and say my name three times. Also, I charge by the hour, so, you know, practical considerations.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 8:01 AM on February 3, 2012 [5 favorites]

Does this mean desjardins and husband have to host another waffle breakfast?
posted by Madamina at 8:02 AM on February 3, 2012

I'm not here, and I have no intention of being here later, either.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:02 AM on February 3, 2012

See, that's the thing. Now that I type it out EXACTLY, I can totally see what it sounded like and why it was deleted:

"Awesome, A Marc Driscoll thread! I'm going to sit here with my popcorn until valkyryn shows up, then we can sit and make rage faces at him together."

Well, you're the author, so if you can see it, okay then. But I can't read that as insulting. The only other possible way to read that comment is that you and Marc Discoll are going to make faces a valkyryn. Seems knee-jerk to me. Not sure why this comment was deleted, but if you don't care, I guess it's not big deal.
posted by spaltavian at 8:03 AM on February 3, 2012

> But I can't read that as insulting. The only other possible way to read that comment is that you and Marc Discoll are going to make faces a valkyryn.

No, the other way to read it is "we [non-valkyryn MeFites] can sit and make rage faces at him [valkyryn] together," which is how I would have read it, and I think it's a fine deletion, since it would have GRAR-ified the thread for no good reason.
posted by languagehat at 8:11 AM on February 3, 2012

I'd like to formally accuse gman of gaslighting me by sending me a link to the Sheets! product site and setting me up for failure and public shame. I am a helpless victim with no agency of my own who has been manipulated to further gman's nefarious and hidden plans.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:18 AM on February 3, 2012

We should always strive to eschew obfuscation.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:21 AM on February 3, 2012

et tu, Burhanistan?
posted by Meatbomb at 8:24 AM on February 3, 2012

Meatbomb: I'd like to formally accuse gman of gaslighting me by sending me a link to the Sheets! product site and setting me up for failure and public shame. I am a helpless victim with no agency of my own who has been manipulated to further gman's nefarious and hidden plans.

That Sheets link that is circulating around us isn't too good. It is suggested that you stay away from that. Of course it's your own trip. So be my guest, but please be advised that there is a warning on that one, ok?
posted by gman at 8:24 AM on February 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

FAMOUS MONSTER: "Just a quick tip for the future, if the need arises: Paging me doesn't work; you need to stand in a darkened room, in front of a mirror, and say my name three times. Also, I charge by the hour, so, you know, practical considerations."

I just tried that. I stood in front of a mirror and clearly said "my name my name my name" and nothing happened. I think your summoning service may need maintenance.
posted by Karmakaze at 8:25 AM on February 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

Can I still tap two blue and three colorless mana to cast "Summon Mutant" in econ threads?
posted by charred husk at 8:37 AM on February 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

I just tried that. I stood in front of a mirror and clearly said "my name my name my name" and nothing happened. I think your summoning service may need maintenance.

I tried that and ended up summoning myself, which was a little disconcerting.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:43 AM on February 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

Oh, thanks for explaining that languagehat. I was among those completely puzzled.
posted by XMLicious at 8:54 AM on February 3, 2012

My favorite was "SUMMON ...".

Trurl, I know of your JB persona, but were you also bevets? That'd be a shocker. He's the only user that I've ever associated with the 'summons' stuff.

That 'summon bevets' stuff still gives me the giggles.
posted by veedubya at 8:56 AM on February 3, 2012

On first glance, I would have guessed that verb was hoping dw would show up so they could continue their conversation from Twitter. :) (Which also happened.)
posted by epersonae at 9:35 AM on February 3, 2012

On first glance, I would have guessed that verb was hoping dw would show up so they could continue their conversation from Twitter. :) (Which also happened.)

My wife has announced that I'm officially CUT OFF and can't make any more Marc Driscoll references for the rest of the month. I'm counting on the internet to keep me from suffering withdrawal symptoms.
posted by verb at 9:41 AM on February 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

Trurl

How the fuck did I miss this
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:58 AM on February 3, 2012

> That 'summon bevets' stuff still gives me the giggles.

Me too! I wasn't going to mention it because, well, we used to tread carefully around bevets, but man, those were the days.
posted by languagehat at 12:00 PM on February 3, 2012

Fark!?
posted by the_artificer at 12:12 PM on February 3, 2012

Trurl, I know of your JB persona, but were you also bevets? That'd be a shocker.

No, bevets was and is bevets. By some string of events I can't even remember the details of now, I ended up yelling at him a little on Fark sometime in the last year, despite the fact that I neither read nor comment on Fark.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:01 PM on February 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

ASININE
posted by shakespeherian at 1:06 PM on February 3, 2012

I love trying to imagine the story behind how cortex wound up yelling at bevets on Fark. Through a bizarre concatenation of events.

That's what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:24 PM on February 3, 2012

I'm just glad to know that thanks to the partnership between Urban Dictionary and Zazzle, I can buy a set of greeting cards explaining who bevets is and what he means to Fark. This is way better than the time a website offered to sell me a t-shirt with the names of all of the fictional soccer players I'd cut from my simulated soccer team.
posted by Copronymus at 1:41 PM on February 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

St. Alia: No joke. I always hope you show up in religion threads.
posted by roll truck roll at 2:22 PM on February 3, 2012

I always hope all of you show up in all the threads, but particularly my threads, and particular users that are generous with their favorites.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:46 PM on February 3, 2012

paging tea early grey hot
posted by vanar sena at 3:53 PM on February 3, 2012

well it's nice that the typo showed up, at least.
posted by vanar sena at 3:54 PM on February 3, 2012

St. Alia: No joke. I always hope you show up in religion threads.

Usually that would be a safe bet. But I don't get a good feeling about Marc Driscoll, no sir, not even. At this point I probably need to leave it alone.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:16 PM on February 3, 2012

TBH, St. Alia, I'd be interested to hear your opinions about Driscoll. I mean, I know what I think of him as a mainline Protestant, but I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. For instance, the whole concept of detailed public confession is alien to my Episcopalian upbringing, but I know that there are many very vibrant religious traditions in which this is used as part of a reparative rather than abusive dialogue.

(I didn't say anything in the thread myself because I felt like my opinions were pretty well represented already).
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:38 PM on February 3, 2012

Not, I should hasten to say, that I know enough about your particular religious orientation, St.A of the B, to know whether public confession plays a role in it!
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:39 PM on February 3, 2012

No, private confession.

The Bible teaches that love "covers." You don't go blabbing someone else's sin, or their confession (without permission.)

I think that Driscoll, is, to be as charitable as I can, immature. I think that he talks about some things publically that have no business being talked about publically. (I don't mean you can't talk about the subject of sex in church-my own church is in the middle of a sermon series about it!) but I think he has been too coarse for a mixed audience.

Now, because I understand that church practices and doctrines can be misunderstood by people outside a particular congregation, I hesitate to say much about how the church is run-but if what I have heard both from the Christian world and the secular world is accurate, I would not wish to be a congregant at Mars Hill.

I myself am at what I consider to be a fairly healthy megachurch and have known my senior pastor for years. He is so good and so gracious to his family and he would cut off his right arm before he would ever ever dishonor his wife in any way, shape or form. He has honored her both in word, in deed, in public and in private, and I wish Driscoll could just spend one week with them and see how it SHOULD be done.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:10 PM on February 3, 2012 [3 favorites]

(Oh, to clarify about confession-if someone wanted to confess to a group in our faith tradition, and did so, the expectation would be for the rest of us to embrace them, help them, love on them, NOT TO KICK THEM OUT.)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:12 PM on February 3, 2012