MetaPeanutButter

June 2, 2020 12:16 PM

Peanut butter: crunchy or smooth? There can only be one. Choose.
posted by Fizz to MetaFilter-Related at 12:16 PM (163 comments total)

#crunchy4life
posted by Fizz at 12:18 PM on June 2, 2020 [9 favorites]

Depends on what I'm putting it on, I think. My commonest applications are apple slices (chunky), toast (either depending), pancakes (smooth).
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 12:19 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

To each their own, I say. For myself, I prefer smooth, since the peanut chunks can get caught in a spot in my gums and provide days of unpleasantness. But we can all live together with this one issue.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:24 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Sitting down.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:27 PM on June 2, 2020 [26 favorites]

I was team chunky for YEARS to the exclusion of ever, ever purchasing smooth. A couple weeks ago, my wife did the grocery shopping and brought home smooth. I have been enjoying it because it requires much less chewing. This may be the laziest thing I've ever written.
posted by coppermoss at 12:29 PM on June 2, 2020 [45 favorites]

Yes.
posted by octothorpe at 12:32 PM on June 2, 2020 [10 favorites]

I like crunchy but bow to the other members of my household and buy smooth, because I don't care enough to buy both.
The real trick is never never never will I buy it with added sugar or stabilizers. You can store it upside down until you break the jar seal to make it easier to stir in the oil. Someone gave me Jif once and it is an abomination.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 12:36 PM on June 2, 2020 [8 favorites]

I grew up eating smooth Skippy (in an all peanut butter fanatics family) but now I eat fancy pants organic PB crunchy style. but you know what? its all good, because its PEANUT BUTTER. bring it.

had peanut butter toast for brekkie!
posted by supermedusa at 12:38 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

It will kill me dead so, "NONE".
posted by agatha_magatha at 12:41 PM on June 2, 2020 [6 favorites]

I dont partake (but I dont mind if people around me do). My dog likes both equally as long as I dont buy the kind where the last bits get dried out bc all the oil got stirred into the top part.
posted by ananci at 12:46 PM on June 2, 2020

Depends which Muppet I'm feeling like. Smooth for the Swedish Chef, Crunchy for Cookie Monster.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 12:47 PM on June 2, 2020 [5 favorites]

smooth, you monsters
posted by sciatrix at 12:48 PM on June 2, 2020 [6 favorites]

Smooth for me and Ollie, the dog with few teeth. Crunchy for misterussell and Murphy, the toothsome dog.
posted by kimberussell at 12:48 PM on June 2, 2020 [4 favorites]

I lean a bit toward #teamcronch but consider myself panpeanutual
posted by notquitemaryann at 12:55 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

I hated peanut butter until I encountered the all natural no-sugar kind as an adult and then loved crunchy. But then I broke a tooth 10+ years ago so crunchy everything went right out. The good news is that I finally got hooked up with a dentist this year and might be able to get back to some of that sweet crunch. The bad news is that C19 canceled my appointments and the governor is looking to cancel dental coverage possibly before I can get rescheduled.

Anyway, smooth all-natural peanut butter is pretty awesome in soup!
posted by to wound the autumnal city at 12:56 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

CRONCH
posted by moonlight on vermont at 1:01 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

I'll take either, but unsweetened for preference. And keep your toast and apples, pass me the spoon. No, the big one.
posted by solotoro at 1:02 PM on June 2, 2020 [7 favorites]

The only really good peanut butter is the smooth kind you find in Goobers - peanut butter and jelly mixed together in the same jar.
posted by Roger Pittman at 1:04 PM on June 2, 2020

I prefer smooth, but if you're a chunky person I respect your choice.

But only Jif or Skippy. Every now and then someone tells me about the wonderfulness of Teddy or some other all natural peanut butter but, I'm sorry, I don't eat peanut butter for the health benefits, I eat so that I can slather it on saltines until the entire sleeve is gone. Give me that smooth, high-fructosey goodness or GTFO.
posted by bondcliff at 1:20 PM on June 2, 2020 [5 favorites]

I love the coarse, sweet, salty pb in Reese's. The chocolate is useless, but that peanut butter is the best. I usually get crunchy, but smooth is okay. Hippie PB: If you nuke it, you can stir the oil back in, but it's kinda high maintenance. If there is even a tiny amount of foil on jar, it will spark, not in a good way.
posted by theora55 at 1:25 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

I thought I was crunchy 4 life, but I recently found myself buying creamy nut butter. Seeking comfort, I guess? A blanket for the tongue?
posted by Secretariat at 1:25 PM on June 2, 2020 [4 favorites]

Hijacking to say if you've never put peanut butter on a BLT, give it a try.
posted by phunniemee at 1:27 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

Crunchy. No sugar added obvs. The smooth kind reminds me of when the cat was sick on the carpet and I swept the door over it a few times before I noticed.
posted by runincircles at 1:30 PM on June 2, 2020 [4 favorites]

Crunchy peanut butter is just another way that giant corporations pass the cost of doing business onto consumers. I'm not paying them to smoosh half the peanuts and make me do the rest of the work. I'm paying them to finish the job.

What we need is some peanut butter class consciousness to fight the capitalists who decided they'll sell us unfinished peanut butter. People with allergies can eat nut butter in solidarity.
posted by Tehhund at 1:32 PM on June 2, 2020 [12 favorites]

Creamy. Crunchy just doesn't spread on bread or crackers or bits of chocolate that well. One can always add some chunk if desired but it's impossible to remove chunk. The good bad kind, Jif because it never goes bad and serves as a shelf stable pantry item.
posted by zengargoyle at 1:32 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

There can only be one

In the larder, or in existence? It's easier to make smooth peanut butter crunchy (add cronch bits) than the other way around (food processor pulsing for an hour; can never fully clean machine again) .
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:33 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

Smooth. Crunchy bits can be added when desired!
posted by wellred at 1:37 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

i'm curious who prefers the unsalted creamy peanut butter

I can imagine.

Anyway, the crunchier the merrier. I am the last outpost of sanity in this family, who are all smooth types. I'm sure if they could get it unsalted, they'd be all over that action.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:38 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

When I was a kid, only Skippy Super Chunky Roasted Honey Nut would do. Now I consider myself a peanut butter tourist...I like to try a little bit of everything. I even like PB2, which is powdered peanut butter one reconstitutes with water.
posted by Gray Duck at 1:44 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

If I wanted smooth, I’d just eat a stick of butter.
posted by michaelh at 1:45 PM on June 2, 2020 [7 favorites]

But oh God that peanut butter that comes in a jar with the jelly swirled in with it? An abomination.
posted by Gray Duck at 1:45 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

In some local supermarkets (e.g. Fred Meyer) there are grinding machines with whole peanuts in a hopper which will, when you push the button, dispense freshly-ground peanut butter that's sort of a middle ground; not creamy, certainly, but also not having the big pebbly Grape-Nuts-sized chunks of jarred versions--a sort of granular texture. This is the only kind of peanut butter I'm now willing to eat, and it is grinding my gears (so to speak) that--apparently because of Covid?--all the machines have been mothballed for the interim and I am PB-less.

(Also, I don't get why the oil doesn't separate out in this product, unlike every other "natural" peanut butter I've come across. I should post an Ask about this...)
posted by Kat Allison at 1:45 PM on June 2, 2020 [6 favorites]

HEB Wildflower Honey Peanut Butter only comes in creamy, alas.
posted by tofu_crouton at 1:51 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

creamy on toasted rye bread.
posted by calgirl at 2:00 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

Normally I go smooth, but my last PB purchase was chunky - I thought it'd be easier to hide dog pills in (nope, not in my case. He became suspicious of all of the pieces and refused to touch it).
posted by Sparky Buttons at 2:04 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

Crunchy on english muffins w/ flax seeds is my everyday breakfast.
Creamy stays in the house so I can make things with it like this lentil peanut stew.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 2:10 PM on June 2, 2020 [5 favorites]

No sugar added. Ingredients: Peanuts, salt. Smooth or crunchy, either A-OK.

Need more sweetness? That's what jelly is for.
posted by in278s at 2:15 PM on June 2, 2020

Crunchy no sugar just peanuts and salt - and when my gallbladder is finally finally gone, maybe in like 2 weeks!, I am going to sit down with a jar and a spoon*. I haven’t had peanut butter in 3 months.

* and a pizza and French fries and fish and chips and a bag of pepperoncini potato chips and a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of pasta olio e aglio and and and
posted by mygothlaundry at 2:16 PM on June 2, 2020 [6 favorites]

When I was a kid I was a smooth peanut butter person, as well as a 'no pulp in the orange juice' person. But now I like crunchy peanut butter and pulpy juice. I wonder if it's a phenomenon that people seek textures as they age.
posted by Ragged Richard at 2:23 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

smooth with raw honey

I will fight for it.
posted by clavdivs at 2:30 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

Both, please.
posted by niicholas at 2:34 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

I don't have a preference.
posted by aniola at 2:35 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

I spent my whole adult life buying “natural” pb until I read a Cook’s Illustrated recipe for peanut butter cookies that recommended Extra Crunchy Jif and I’ll be. It’s good.

But I can’t give it to my dog, who gets a little smear of peanut butter in his Kong when he goes in his crate, because although trans fats and White Death are okay for mama, god forbid they should pass the puppy dog’s lips. So he gets his own tub of freshly ground, no salt, no sugar, no trans fat smooth peanut butter from the machine at the food co-op. Sometimes I borrow some to go with my apple for a snack.
posted by HotToddy at 2:39 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

The fresh-ground honey roasted peanut butter at Whole Foods has a texture that's kind of in between crunchy and creamy, balanced between sweet and salty, and is knockout delicious on a freshly sliced apple or smeared on a banana.
posted by rachaelfaith at 2:42 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

I prefer crunchy peanut butter and because I'm the one who ends up buying the peanut butter I'm pretty sure it's the only kind my kids have ever had. They love crunchy peanut butter too. I like the concept of natural peanut butter but it is too hard coming out of the fridge to be usable on soft, untoasted bread. Kraft makes a 100% peanuts peanut butter that I assume uses processed peanut oil to better simulate the texture of regular peanut butter while at the same time being true to 100% peanuts and that's what I usually go for. I've found that the peanut butter is sweet enough for me as it is but when my kids want to sweeten it they'll use honey or nutella.

What's your best peanut butter cookie recipe?
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:44 PM on June 2, 2020

My mother is a big fan of smooth peanut butter, eats practically it every morning, so naturally as part of my rebellious adolescence I declared that smooth PB was gross and I would only eat crunchy, which was obviously better (no, I was not a particularly wild kid, how did you guess? pretty obnoxious tho)

Nowadays it turns out I'm not a huge fan of peanut butter so I don't really keep it stocked - except when my mother comes to visit, I make sure I have a jar of smooth PB for her :)
posted by btfreek at 2:53 PM on June 2, 2020

I'm all for crunchy. Calvé is fine, but the Albert Heijn store brand is okay too; it's what I grew up on. And if we're talking discounters, Lidl's VitaD'Or beats Aldi's Helaes, even though the name is funny, I'll grant them that. They used to sell Panda Pindakaas. O, how the mighty have fallen.

What? You thought peanut butter was exclusively and uniquely US American? Hah! Next you'll be telling me that you also believe apple pie to be American...
Pull the other one, it's crunchy.

Stoneshop prefers the rather spicy Faja Lobi from Suriname. Some do like it hot.
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:56 PM on June 2, 2020 [5 favorites]

Crunchy! With no sugar, because that is wrong. The smooth kind is too sticky in my mouth and I don't like a sandwich that consists only of soft. Bleh. I will eat no peanut butter rather than smooth peanut butter (a choice I actually make regularly, since my husband likes smooth and I don't even steal it when I run out of my own.)

Even more controversial option: I don't think peanut butter goes with chocolate. I do not like the two together.

My dad puts actual butter followed by peanut butter on his toast.
posted by stillnocturnal at 2:59 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

I am agnostic on creamy vs. crunchy. Both are good. Crunchy if I had to choose.

I am non-negotiable on "natural" peanut butter (i.e., no sugar, hydrogenated oil, salt). I just like the taste better. I can then doctor it up how I like, without that weirdo texture that the stabilizer/additive-heavy ones have.

The real trick is never never never will I buy it with added sugar or stabilizers. You can store it upside down until you break the jar seal to make it easier to stir in the oil.

My people!

My dad puts actual butter followed by peanut butter on his toast.

Salted butter with natural peanut butter on toast is nice. Sometimes with a bit of honey, too. Mmmm.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:18 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

What's your best peanut butter cookie recipe?

I'd like to hear people weigh in on this as well (if it's not too much of a derail) as I've never made peanut butter cookies but I feel like now is the time.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:25 PM on June 2, 2020

Smooth, mainly because chunky tends to tear up soft bread. But I also think I just prefer the texture of the smooth kind (I also don't like pulp in my juice, for what it's worth.)

My least-liked PB is the natural kind where you have to stir in the oil. One time I bought a jar to keep at work, and after spending a good 15 minutes in the kitchen struggling with it to no avail, wound up leaving it on the "free" table with a note that a far-less-lazy person than I should give it a good home. I mean, it's not even that good for as much effort as it wants.

My favorite peanut butter: Simply Jif

My most favorite ways to eat peanut butter:
PBJ with grape jelly or strawberry jam or orange marmalade
PB sandwich with Campbell's chicken noodle soup (dunk the sandwich in the soup)
Half an apple stuffed with PB, school-cafeteria style
PB stuffed celery (but no raisins)
PB on toast with hot cocoa (dip the toast in the cocoa)
Out of the jar with a spoon (Mr. Dork and I have to have "his and hers" labeled PB jars because one of us sticks their fingers directly into the jar like an animal, and the other is me)

Confession time: I made and ate a PB-and-marmalade sandwich halfway through reading this thread, because I am apparently the most ridiculously suggestible person on the planet when it comes to food.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 3:27 PM on June 2, 2020 [6 favorites]

PB sandwich with Campbell's chicken noodle soup (dunk the sandwich in the soup)

I did this as a kid. Frequently with a PB&J, I also did it with Campbell's cream of mushroom soup. Now I'm pondering how that would hold up now.

I'm making a grocery run tomorrow, so a few things are going on the list that I wasn't planning on getting. Until now.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:31 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

Smooth for me and the very old doggo. This thread is actually making me hungry. Might be time for a peanut butter and jam (that's jello to you lot over there) sandwich.
posted by Chairboy at 3:41 PM on June 2, 2020

I used to be crunchy all the way, but then I realized it seemed to be lower quality and less actual peanut butter in the jar, and if I want crunchy I can just sprinkle peanuts or other nuts on my sandwich or whatever.

I think part of this is I just started eating it directly out of the jar a lot more.
posted by loquacious at 3:42 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

BTW Emmental cheese and peanut butter is amazing...
posted by Chairboy at 3:42 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

What's your best peanut butter cookie recipe?

Colossal Cookies
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 3:42 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

Smooth out of the jar, and a cold coke with a lime squeezed into it. Food. Coma. .
posted by Afghan Stan at 4:03 PM on June 2, 2020

I expected far more Nutella mentions in this thread.

Not that I have a horse in this race - I don't like either peanut butter or Nutella. Oddly, however, I do like Reese's Cups. I contain...some small fraction of a multitude.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:05 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

Crunchy or die.
posted by jazon at 4:17 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Generally smooth although sometimes I crave crunchy. Definitely goes well in a sandwich with Nutella or jam, but never jelly. On toast I do like to butter the toast first.

For eating on toast I like natural but for baking cookies the hydrogenated type mixes better.
posted by biggreenplant at 4:37 PM on June 2, 2020

And keep your toast and apples, pass me the spoon. No, the big one.

In my family we used to call this a "whole big". As in, "What do you want for dinner?" "...eh, not that hungry, just going to have a whole big."
posted by notquitemaryann at 4:49 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

who is out here keeping their peanut butter in the fridge? weird
posted by Lawn Beaver at 5:01 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

Me. It keeps the oil from separating.
Either, but usually smooth these days.
posted by Adridne at 5:10 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Peanut butter has been my friend over this last month or so as I need protein to balance carbs with my snacks (hooray gestational diabetes...). I have loved working from home because I feel bad taking PB to work (a school) knowing that some of my colleagues and students have quite serious allergies, so PB every day has been amazing! I have a teaspoon of it mixed into my porridge (oatmeal) - hot water helps get it off the spoon. (Topped with maple syrup and milk. Mmmm.)

Smooth. Natural. Stir in the oil. The brand I buy tried out a 'smunchy' half way between smooth and crunchy- it didn't take off, and my supermarket doesn't carry smunchy any more. "American" style peanut butter is OK for some things but I much, much prefer the natural stuff.

On sweet chocolaty peanut butter goodness, I'm sad that I can't get the pumpkin or Christmas tree Reeses pieces here- we can get the mini cups, but there isn't enough peanut butter in those.

I'm the only one in the house who enjoys peanut butter- my husband's first job was at the local grains research place, and one of his tasks was to reset and bait the traps during the mouse plague. For him, peanut butter is forever mousetrap food, and he doesn't like it.
posted by freethefeet at 5:12 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

oh and green granny smith, thinly sliced, and PB is amazing. I had a spoon of thickened cream with it last time and that was dangerously delicious.
posted by freethefeet at 5:14 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

Smooooooooooooooooooooth
posted by terrapin at 5:16 PM on June 2, 2020

Smooth. But I buy Peter Pan Whipped, which is a little different altogether.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 5:23 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

I prefer to eat my peanuts whole - so extra-crunchy, I guess?

I don't have strong peanut butter feelings in general, but I loathe the extremely popular combination of chocolate and peanut butter. Ruins them both. Oh well. More for the rest of you!
posted by the primroses were over at 5:27 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

who is out here keeping their peanut butter in the fridge? weird

Mmmmeverybody who likes not-rancid peanut butter?
posted by HotToddy at 5:32 PM on June 2, 2020

Smooth! I don't want crunch in my peanut butter any more than I want crunchy things in my ice cream.

Peanut butter jalapeño cheeseburgers are excellent, by the way. When my sister recommended them I was skeptical, but she was right.
posted by Redstart at 5:34 PM on June 2, 2020

I even like PB2, which is powdered peanut butter one reconstitutes with water.

I am surprised that this actually exists. I mean, with all the folks with severe peanut allergies this is like weaponized peanuts.

Also, put me down for crunchy. Jif, none of this organic half-oil you have to stir stuff.
posted by jzb at 5:49 PM on June 2, 2020

I like fresh ground inbetweenutbutter. I add my own honey. Winco where I live has an old school type coop area, with nut butter grinders, and bulk honeys.
posted by Oyéah at 5:55 PM on June 2, 2020

What's your best peanut butter cookie recipe?

This is the Kraft recipe jazzed up a bit.

One 500g jar of natural peanut butter (two cups)
1 egg
Scant half cup of sugar
1 bag of chipits chocolate chips (I don’t know how many that is, sorry. Just a standard sized bag?)

Mix everything together by hand or with a mixer. Put parchment paper on a cookie sheet. Roll dough into balls and bake at 350 for...8ish minutes?
Just until the tops crack.
posted by janepanic at 5:55 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

I am having trouble believing in that recipe, like where is the flour? Or do the ground peanuts, finally harden into a cookie without it?
posted by Oyéah at 5:57 PM on June 2, 2020

Smooth please. I've been eating a lot of peanut butter crackers lately. Yum.


So I have actually been contemplating posting an AskMe about peanut butter, to wit: I really strongly prefer Once Again peanut butter. To me, it tastes significantly better than, say, the Trader Joe's stuff, or any other random peanut butter. As far as I can tell, there's no obvious reason for this: these are all products where the only ingredient is peanuts (no added sugar or salt) (the stuff jzb doesn't like).

Why would there be any difference between the Once Again stuff and the Trader Joe's stuff? WHY?

The Once Again peanut butter is something like 4 or 6 times the cost of the Trader Joe's (I think Once Again is often $9 - NINE BUCKS - a jar, and the Trader Joe's stuff is $2? Maybe?), so it'd be nice if they tasted the same to me and I could just get the less expensive stuff.


Also: I believe I learned from this AskMe about refrigerating peanuts and peanut butters that many people do not refrigerate their peanut butter at all, ever, and as a result, I started keeping mine out on the counter, and I am much, much happier now that my nice creamy soft peanut butter doesn't turn into a rock in the fridge the day after I've opened it.

Hooray for the hive mind!
posted by kristi at 6:15 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

yeah I guess we eat it before it has a chance to go rancid.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 6:18 PM on June 2, 2020

Stoneshop prefers the rather spicy Faja Lobi from Suriname. Some do like it hot.

Wait, there is spicy peanut butter? I'm intrigued...

I am agnostic on creamy vs. crunchy. Both are good. Crunchy if I had to choose.

I am non-negotiable on "natural" peanut butter (i.e., no sugar, hydrogenated oil, salt). I just like the taste better. I can then doctor it up how I like, without that weirdo texture that the stabilizer/additive-heavy ones have.

This is me, completely. I buy the pre-stirred stuff because I'm lazy, though I actually think the kind where the oil separates tastes a bit better. But never, ever, any with sugar added.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:36 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

If I have to choose sides – I guess smooth is what I buy the most. I have not tried this Ovenly peanut butter cookie recipe adapted by Smitten Kitchen yet, but I have read that they are great.
posted by blacktshirtandjeans at 6:37 PM on June 2, 2020

the rather spicy Faja Lobi from Suriname.

Oh, hello.

Do tell.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:40 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

I refuse to take sides, smooth and crunchy are both delicious. Carrot sticks and peanut butter are the best snack.

To bake with, you do need the kind with emulsifiers, not the kind where the oil separates.

Cookie recipe (flourless):

PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES

Yield: Makes about 24 cookies
Ingredients
◦ 1 cup super chunky peanut butter
◦ 1 cup (packed) golden brown sugar
◦ 1 large egg
◦ 1 teaspoon baking soda
◦ 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
◦ 1 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips (about 6 ounces) (I chop up dark chocolate bars for this)

Preparation
1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Mix first 5 ingredients in medium bowl. Mix in chocolate chips. Using moistened hands, form generous 1 tablespoon dough for each cookie into ball. Arrange on 2 ungreased baking sheets, spacing 2 inches apart.

2. Bake cookies until puffed, golden on bottom and still soft to touch in center, about 12 minutes. Cool on sheets 5 minutes. Transfer to racks; cool completely.
posted by Pallas Athena at 6:45 PM on June 2, 2020 [7 favorites]

Whichever is made fresh with the blood of my enemies.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:50 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

I CTRL-Fed for "bacon" and you all are missing out on the best sandwich.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 7:11 PM on June 2, 2020 [4 favorites]

Oh dang - you're right! I'd forgotten all about those, haven't had one in ages and ages.

Ok, Reese's Cups and PB&B sandwiches. though not necessarily together
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:17 PM on June 2, 2020

Whichever is made fresh with the blood of my enemies.

Peanut blooder?
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:18 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

oh! toasted cheese sandwich and peanut butter. VERY good.
posted by freethefeet at 7:25 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

fold it neatly, do not wad it up.

also, crunchy peanut butter. with ginger rhubarb jam.
posted by bilabial at 7:32 PM on June 2, 2020

oh, jessamyn. Not only did you teach me about toilet paper, you have also reminded me about bacon and peanut butter. I know what I'm having for lunch tomorrow.
posted by bilabial at 7:33 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Smooth
posted by emjaybee at 7:52 PM on June 2, 2020

I bought a ludicrous hybrid Andre the Giant-sized table knife/putty knife/blunt machete(?) that is tall enough to reach the bottom of the big (crunchy) PB jar and also strong enough to stir it while also thin enough not to displace the oil such that it slops over the lip whilst stirring. Amazon might be evil but it brought me this fantastic device and I love it.

I am now intrigued by Suriname’s spicy option. Can a girl hope for a secret Quonsar from Suriname this year?

And inspired by bacon and PB sandwiches which I have never kenned before (somehow). Although can it also be combined with the lovely grilled cheese and PB? Hmmmm. Experiments.

For completeness: on the counter. If on bread, bagel, or English muffin, butter first then PB. For lubrication and also because it’s fucking delicious.
posted by janell at 8:26 PM on June 2, 2020

Peanut butter is my most favorite food, and it has to be crunchy. I mean smooth peanut butter is better than NO peanut butter. But crunchy is just so much more satisfying.
posted by silverstatue at 8:31 PM on June 2, 2020

Mmmmeverybody who likes not-rancid peanut butter?

I've never had a jar last long enough to do that. One of us is doing something wrong.
posted by loquacious at 8:38 PM on June 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

oh! toasted cheese sandwich and peanut butter. VERY good.

That is EXACTLY how I gained 60 pounds during my pregnancy.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 8:59 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Chunky, unless it's not available, or you get tricked.

Preferred type: natural, which requires mixing (even when it's been stored upside down), but shelf-stable is super handy for traveling, or when you run out of space in your fridge ;)

Best use of peanut butter:
New favorite - Rosa Parks' "Featherlite" Peanut Butter Pancakes (seriously, they're pretty magical)
Old favorite - monster cookies (aka trail mix in cookie form)
Always an option - slathered on something, like apples, or celery, or pancakes
posted by filthy light thief at 9:01 PM on June 2, 2020

Smooth Jif, no other will do. Stored in cabinets, not the fridge. Definitely not the hippy separating stuff. Best uses are: giant spoonful with a sliced granny smith apple or butter+peanut butter+extra salt on a toasted English muffin. Heaven.

So many monsters in this room. I will concede that crunchy PB could be used in cookie dough.
posted by ktkt at 9:01 PM on June 2, 2020

Crunchy grind-it-yourself fresh peanut butter at the co-op! Why yes, I am a crunchy hippie!
posted by a humble nudibranch at 9:08 PM on June 2, 2020

Jessamyn, please tell us more about peanut butter and bacon sandwiches.

I like both smooth and crunchy, big brand and natural. But I don’t like the big brand “natural” my wife favors, which has added palm oil. When I’m buying its usually smooth from Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods, or a smaller natural brand at other stores. But sometimes I’ll get the fresh ground, mmmmmmm.

Regarding the differences in taste between brands that use only peanuts and salt, I learned from this episode of the Gastropod podcast (recommended!) that brands use different varieties of peanuts: most use runners, but some use Virginia, Spanish, or Valencia.
posted by Songdog at 9:16 PM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Neither. Eww.

Or at least, I'm team "peanut butter should only go in baked goods and candy", in which case smooth integrates the best.
posted by lollusc at 9:45 PM on June 2, 2020

Skipped to the bottom because I don't want to know about the "crunchy" fans. I assume in this place of brilliance there are none. The only peanut butter is smooth as silk, and the only ingredient is peanuts. There is no honey, chocolate, marshmallow, jelly, salt, sugar, or nasty tiny bits of undigested peanut. There is only satiny peanut perfection.
posted by bearwife at 10:13 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

Prefer smooth, also because I prefer it in satay sauce which is one of the things I like to make. But crunchy is edible, no doubt.
posted by Namlit at 11:38 PM on June 2, 2020

My kids prefer smooth. I think in sandwiches I like it crunchy a bit better. But lately I am getting most of my peanut butter mixing it into my morning oatmeal and I don't think crunch would improve it.

Seriously, try this if you like peanut butter and oatmeal! I eat it at 8:30 and don't even start getting hungry for lunch till like 2pm. It is a MEAL, costs next to nothing, takes 90 seconds in the microwave.
posted by potrzebie at 12:43 AM on June 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

Dip Flash: Wait, there is spicy peanut butter? I'm intrigued...

This is the brand we get. It's... pretty spicy. I can eat it but I should spread it thin. It's spicy enough that people can get themselves into trouble if they slather it onto their bread without knowing what it is.

One of my favourite ways to eat non-spicy peanut butter is topped with a smear of sambal and some sliced cucumber, so there's an option if you're curious.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:08 AM on June 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

Creamy is really all there is. Unless it's CB's Nuts Creamunchy. But it costs like 2.5x what creamy costs at Trader Joe's....

Also: +1 to carrots dipped in peanut butter. Sooo good.
posted by rouftop at 1:24 AM on June 3, 2020

Wait, there is spicy peanut butter?

I have PB+Sriracha all the time...it gives a bit of extra sweetness a-la jam, but a nice kick too!
posted by Jon Mitchell at 1:38 AM on June 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

Smooth, preferably with marmalade. Yum. Just the plain salted Sanitarium brand.
posted by unearthed at 3:29 AM on June 3, 2020

Smooth. No doubt.
posted by frumiousb at 3:38 AM on June 3, 2020

Crunchy. Duh!
posted by unicorn chaser at 3:49 AM on June 3, 2020

Crunchy, but almond. I grew up with 1970s UK peanut butter, which was greyish grout. Almond needs careful stirring and adding almond oil or the last 25% will be an inedible puck.

We also have a monster that lives in our almond butter jar, but that's another story.
posted by scruss at 4:31 AM on June 3, 2020

Either is fine, as long as the bacon to peanut butter ratio is 2 to 1
posted by emelenjr at 5:48 AM on June 3, 2020

Smooth. I'm not particularly picky about additives, but I normally go for supermarket own brand. I notice some are darker than others, and prefer the dark ones. I presume they're just roasted longer.

What I will not eat and find disgusting is ‘natural’ peanut butter which has the skins ground in. Peanut skins are clearly a toxic cover which was only put there to protect the nut, and neither me nor my headaches will stand for being forced to eat their bitterness.
posted by ambrosen at 5:56 AM on June 3, 2020

Team Crunchy here. Guess I like texture in my food - crunchy PB, zillion-grain bread, and lets face it, in my mind OJ without pulp is an abomination.

The single PB rule I live by: if there is palm kernel oil in it, fuck off, it’s not peanut butter. I don’t need to de-home orangutans and kill off the rainforest in SE Asia just because I don’t want to stir my peanut butter. Palm kernel oil is the devil. Peanut butter should contain peanuts, and salt. That’s it.
posted by caution live frogs at 5:58 AM on June 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

(Oddly enough my kid won’t eat peanut butter. He prefers sunflower seed butter. Not because of allergies, but because that’s what he has been served in daycare and school for his whole life. He has decided that sunflower butter is better, because as he told us, if he eats it with his friends, he doesn’t have to worry that one of his buddies will be exposed to anything that might be bad for them.)
posted by caution live frogs at 6:01 AM on June 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

Either depending on purpose, but god damn it's got to be just ground peanuts, and not too finely ground, so I can drain off the excess oil. And I really need to get to the store and get some more because all we have in the house is the adulterated stuff.

I'm sometimes sorry we got rid of the cuisinart when we moved, though we only used it to make nut butters. Because we only used it to make nut butters, and single taskers are bad when you have a small kitchen. Ahh well.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:04 AM on June 3, 2020

Sorry America, you do not have the Kingaroy peanut brilliance that is Darryl's.

Darryl's is the fucken business.
posted by prismatic7 at 6:11 AM on June 3, 2020

I just learned that this exists and I'm horrified.
posted by Fizz at 7:07 AM on June 3, 2020

> crunchy or smooth? There can only be one. Choose.

Smoonchy
posted by ardgedee at 7:42 AM on June 3, 2020 [3 favorites]

Which is the one with the peanut on top? Skippy or Jif? (I'm team Kraft but we got commercials from the US)
posted by biggreenplant at 7:43 AM on June 3, 2020

Even more controversial option: I don't think peanut butter goes with chocolate. I do not like the two together.

I SAID GOOD DAY MADAME
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:39 AM on June 3, 2020 [5 favorites]

I had that dream again where I'm alone on a city bus at night and Nick Cave and Hugo Weaving get on wearing identical suits and sit down on either side of me and glare at me menacingly with those scary eyebrows.
posted by dephlogisticated at 9:35 AM on June 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

I'm team creamy. I'll eat crunchy in a pinch. We're a Jif family.

I occassionally make peanut butter in the Vitamix. Honey roasted is the best, followed by cashew. When I make it, I stop a bit short of the creamy consistency, so there is a little texture.

As far as a cookie recipe, I use the one from Crisco. It's no hippy dippy all natural thing. It does make great PB&J thumbprint cookies.
posted by kathrynm at 10:45 AM on June 3, 2020

Back when I was dating, I included my peanut butter preference (smooth) in my profile. It was the #1 conversation starter for people who contacted me.
posted by Twicketface at 11:18 AM on June 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

Crunchy with concessions to the grainy-not-atomically-smooth peanut butters that the high end peanut butteries(?) produce.

I eat a lot of peanut butter, so this is my chance to get on my soap box and really have it out about things. Why are there so many unsalted peanut butters??? I'm pretty much married to the Smucker's Natural Chunky because it has the acceptable list of ingredients:
-Salt
-Peanuts

During the current unpleasantness the Internet PB distribution network was disturbed, so I panic bought Crazy Richard's Crunchy Peanut Butter - which is a better tasting peanut butter but has no salt! What do I know about salting peanut butter? Nothing! Does salt even dissolve properly in PB or do I have to buy superfine salt just to get things to work? So now my morning routine is to spread the PB and try hard to remember to sprinkle some salt on top. It's taken me years of practice to get my morning routine in place so I don't have to do any thinking whatsoever, and now I'm burdened by this salt thing.

Also, if you want to stick it to The Man(Amazon), then buying the Smucker's Natural in bulk will result in you getting free peanut butter when they inevitably ship you the wrong peanut butter (still edible!) or one of the glass jars breaks during shipping(eat with caution!).
posted by Dmenet at 11:27 AM on June 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

My dad puts actual butter followed by peanut butter on his toast.

You say this as if it's a bad thing. It is DELICIOUS.
posted by cooker girl at 12:19 PM on June 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

I find this thread is inspiring many peanut-butter-adjacent thoughts in me.

For one: my mom, who in general was very conscientious about feeding me healthy food (without being rigid about it - yay Mom) also used to keep marshmallow fluff around and occasionally made me fluffernutter sandwiches. Which I liked. I haven't had one for a VERY long time - like, possibly since before I was a teenager - and I'd kind of like to have one again, just to see if I still liked it. I probably would, but I imagine I'd find it overly sweet before I finished it.

(On the other hand, I really like peanut butter and honey sandwiches, so maybe I'm okay with sweet peanut butter sandwiches.)

Also, we used to make peanut blossom cookies, mostly with my grandma, which were your basic peanut butter cookie, with granulated sugar on the exterior, with a Hershey's chocolate kiss pushed gently in the middle just after they came out of the oven and were still warm and very slightly crisp on the outside. We also used to sometimes make them with Brach's chocolate stars and now I can't remember whether those were as good or if I only really loved the Hershey's version. I definitely loved those cookies, and I hardly ever have them anymore. (I certainly don't bake nearly as much in my day to day life as my grandmother did when I visited her.)

Thanks for the MeTa, Fizz!
posted by kristi at 12:44 PM on June 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

I was crunchy-only until I got old and sick and my teeth went to hell. Now I’m glad creamy was out there all along.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:52 PM on June 3, 2020

Crunchy peanut butter freaks me out because I don't like little chunks of stuff in food. Even if the chunks are actually the same food.
posted by holborne at 1:19 PM on June 3, 2020

Grew up on sugary, smooth, Skippy. Am no longer a big PB eater, and now we are a Santa Cruz Dark, smooth family. PB and honey sandwiches are pretty amazing, but more for the honey/bread amalgamation than the PB.
posted by Windopaene at 3:03 PM on June 3, 2020

Crunchy. With Piccallili in a grained bread sammich. Pure ambrosia.
posted by Sparx at 5:08 PM on June 3, 2020

Trader Joe's crunchy salted! So good!

I'm a bit concerned, I'm down to only one jar and I'm not going back to TJ's until ... I dunno when. Sigh.

Does anyone know where TJs sources their peanut butter?
posted by suelac at 5:33 PM on June 3, 2020

The smooth kind reminds me of when the cat was sick on the carpet and I swept the door over it a few times before I noticed.

I assume that the crunchy kind reminds you of when the cat was sick on the carpet before you swept the door over it.
posted by Going To Maine at 6:24 PM on June 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

The only worthwhile foods are those which make you suffer while consuming them, because it is only in this that you may be sufficiently reminded of mortality.

This is true for everything that you consume: liquor, peanut butter, raw nettles, esoteric meats.

Ergo, crunchy peanut butter, agonizingly strong aromatic liquor, nettles because that's the way your ancestors rolled, and meats that you'd rather incinerate than eat.
posted by aramaic at 8:22 PM on June 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

I make the best super crunchy peanut butter IN MY MOUTH with whole roasted peanuts.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 8:25 PM on June 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

I like both! Every morning for years I toasted a nice big piece of sourdough in my work café, spread with either one of the peanut butters available and drizzled with honey. But one day, I take a bite. What the holy heck, it smelled and tasted terrible!!!!! Well, they had mislabeled the Asiago bread. I couldn’t eat it again for a long time.
posted by gryphonlover at 10:41 PM on June 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

Note that with Dutch peanut butter, smooth still has a bit of texture where Skippy is zmoooooooozh. In my youth I had to put up with the latter For. Six. Whole. Years.

Never again.

Note that this was before the invention of Crunchy PB so there just wasn't anything else, with only occasional relief when a shipment of Calve had come in.

I came to the Faja Lobi PB mentioned above through a process that involved home-made satay sauce, so basically PB, dark caster sugar, kecap and sambal (Indonesian chilli paste) as the main ingredients. For nearly a decade these were the additions to my PB sandwiches, until I noticed a jar of Faja Lobi sitting on a shelf in my local toko. It doesn't have the inherent variability of using separate ingredients, especially when you have four or five different flavours and strengths of sambal at hand, but it's a good deal more convenient early in the morning.

And regarding PB with Sriracha: the sweetness introduced though caster sugar is quite different; it also adds some graininess.
posted by Stoneshop at 11:14 PM on June 3, 2020

Fizz: in general, foodstuffs in tubes are for camping because you don't want to lug around half-empty jars and cans if you can help it. (Camping-camping that is, not carting your entire kitchen and pantry around in some wheeled vehicle). So, jam, choc paste and PB in tubes are fine PROVIDED YOU'RE ACTUALLY CAMPING or using up the leftovers. Also, for stuff like anchovies paste which you want to use in small blobs.

This is just gross.

It's on par with aerosol spray cheese.
posted by Stoneshop at 11:28 PM on June 3, 2020

Can a girl hope for a secret Quonsar from Suriname this year?

Faja Lobi PB is actually made in the Netherlands; as with Indonesian dish spice mixes this one is a positive heritage of our colonial past.

And now that I think of it I agree with having traded Nieuw Amsterdam for Suriname as we would have lost out on Faja Lobi and gained? what? Turkey dishes? Meh.
posted by Stoneshop at 12:36 AM on June 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

Smooth, but eaten with orange juice with extra pulp.
posted by dobbs at 5:19 AM on June 4, 2020

Whichever I can get sooner, so long as it has added salt (no sugar, wtf).

Also, due to my 1.5 yr old daughter's approach to pronunciation, it is now known in our household as "pea-bah".
posted by greenish at 9:17 AM on June 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

As a kid, I hated hated HATED peanut butter. Didn't really start enjoying it until I was in my late 30s or early 40s. For me, it's smooth, maybe with a little honey added. And Justin's brand dark chocolate peanut butter cups are the best.
posted by hanov3r at 10:35 AM on June 4, 2020

At the smallholding, large quantities of unsold food from a nearby wholesalers arrives sporadically and informs that week’s/month’s/lifetime’s eating. Sometimes this means grimly chewing through puffed lotus seeds that taste like dirt. But sometimes-like this week- it means a huge tub of organic crunchy peanut butter blended with freezedried raspberry powder. It is HEAVENLY and I only wish we’d got a truck-full of it like the lotus puffs and not one swiftly-emptying tub...
posted by Balthamos at 10:58 AM on June 4, 2020 [2 favorites]

Joking aside, I have to confess that I really kinda liked the Eliot spicy thai peanut butter and definitely regret having finished off my jar of garam masala peanut butter because it looks like I can't get it any longer (damn you Eliot! khaaaaaaann!)

Fix & Fogg do a decent smoky spicy peanut butter as well, but the smoke is kinda pronounced so be warned it's not as flexible as the thai/indian peanut butters.

The Fix & Fogg is crunchy as hell, and the thai/indian ones were effectively crunch-style just due to the quantity of ground spices involved.
posted by aramaic at 11:17 AM on June 4, 2020

Cashew butter. Smooth.
posted by Splunge at 12:20 PM on June 4, 2020

There can only be one. Choose.

No! Neither, never, ever. Perhaps the consensus will be that I have some odd neurological or psychological condition but just do not do peanut butter. Probably psyc due to some childhood memories of being taunted by siblings but still calmly and without anyone being aware breath through the mouth until away from that scent.
posted by sammyo at 12:49 PM on June 4, 2020

Also, due to my 1.5 yr old daughter's approach to pronunciation, it is now known in our household as "pea-bah".

Nice. When I was around that age, the grownups thought to skirt my budding sweet tooth by spelling out the word "Pepsi" rather than saying it. However, I was a crafty infant.

Half a century on, I hardly ever drink Pepsi. But when I do, it remains P-I.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:23 PM on June 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

Crunchy (but smooth for satays).
posted by h00py at 3:20 AM on June 5, 2020

I’ve always loved peanut butter. As long as it’s just peanuts and maybe salt, it’s perfect. Yay peanut butter.
posted by kinnakeet at 9:46 AM on June 5, 2020

Hey, peanut fiends! These folks make the most delicious peanut candy ever and I have been eating way too much of it lately. And I am not saying this because it’s a black-owned business, which it is. Highly recommended.
posted by kinnakeet at 10:36 AM on June 5, 2020 [3 favorites]

Team crunchy, especially on waffles and pancakes.
posted by joycehealy at 3:57 PM on June 5, 2020

Re peanut butter cookies: google the original Joy of Cooking recipe and add a generous teaspoon or so of cayenne pepper. The best.
posted by she's not there at 4:21 PM on June 5, 2020 [1 favorite]

Smooth, because my gut isn't having anything like crunchy PB or popcorn without a fight. I keep forgetting that, to my sorrow.
Peter Pan Whipped Creamy PB has a special place in my heart. Reese's PB cups have been shrinking, and I am not pleased about that.

I can't believe the no-bake cookies recipe has not shown up. I've made it smooth or crunchy, both are good. You need a nonstick pot, a big one, or you will be scraping a lot of goodness into the trashcan. You need wax paper on a baking sheet or pizza pan or whatever, because you will burn your table with the molten chocolate-and-peanut-butter lava straight out of the pan.
And no-bake cookies are hot as sin, so be careful handling them until they can cool down. I never could figure out why they sometimes do not set up, but they are still good scraped off the wax paper with a spoon. They also taste good on ice cream.
posted by TrishaU at 8:19 PM on June 5, 2020 [1 favorite]

TrishaU, we ALWAYS made those to take to the drive-in. The taste and the drive-in experience are inextricably linked in my brain.

And now I have the "Picky people pick Peter Pan peanut butter; it's the peanut butter picky people pick" jingle in my head.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:07 PM on June 5, 2020 [2 favorites]

Crunchy. Because when you put some between two Thin Mints (ideally frozen,) it doesn't ooze out when you bit it.
posted by Marky at 11:11 PM on June 5, 2020 [1 favorite]

Crunchy for PBJ’s, smooth for peanut butter, coconut milk, curry sauces.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:52 AM on June 6, 2020

Oh for pete's sake.

Smooth. Smooth.

What's wrong with you people?
posted by mule98J at 8:17 AM on June 6, 2020 [1 favorite]

And I had to get some fresh ground honey roasted peanut peanut butter from Fresh Thyme yesterday. My brother is hogging the Vitamix right now.
posted by kathrynm at 9:22 AM on June 6, 2020

Most often I have smooth knock off brand in the pantry. Occasionally cronch for recipes/variety.

Peanut butter cookies.

My grandma and mom both made the kind that have fork made hash marks on top and bake up sort of thick chewy. Good cookies.

The elementary school that I attended had Grandma lunch ladies. Gray permanent waved hair covered with hairnets, all nicely plump except for the tall skinny one, and all wearing those bibbed aprons that grannies wore.

These ladies made peanut butter cookies that literally melted in your mouth. They had an almost shortbread like texture, but more tender. They were magnificent!

I spent years trying to find a recipe for these. Finally tracked it down, and yes, these were the cookies of my childhood!

(The lunch ladies were making meals from scratch for us, every day. Ham and bean soup with cornbread and real honey. Potato soup, thickened with cream. I didn't realize until adulthood what all this meant. When my kids were in school, the lunches were warmed up convenience meals trucked from another school. We packed lunches from home a lot.)

Thank you for this thread. I so much needed a diversion.
posted by LaBellaStella at 4:27 AM on June 7, 2020 [2 favorites]

LaBellaStella:possible link to recipe?
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:17 AM on June 7, 2020 [2 favorites]

I'll dig it out and post it in a bit!
posted by LaBellaStella at 9:39 AM on June 7, 2020 [1 favorite]

(The trick to getting the lovely tender crispiness is how long you bake these! Mind the time chart!)

Peanut Butter Cookies, the Lunch Lady Kind

Preheat oven 350°

2 1/2 C all purpose flour
1 tsp. Baking powder
1 tsp. Baking soda
1 tsp. Salt
Sift dry ingredients together. Set aside for the moment. Lightly spray baking pans with no stick spray.

1/2 C softened butter
1/2 C vegetable shortening (I bought a tiny can of Crisco just for this recipe.)
1 C smooth peanut butter (for proper LL cookies, I strongly suggest the basic old peanut butter..not the fancy "only peanuts and nothing else" kind. If you need to be fancy, get Jif or Skippy.
1 C white sugar
1C brown sugar (light or dark, doesn't matter...whatever bakes your cookies!)
2 eggs, beaten
1 tsp. Vanilla (this is the only place I veer off course. The LL had a giant bottle of artificially flavored vanilla extract. I make my own vanilla with whole vanilla beans in good vodka. But you do you, they'll be good cookies either way.)

Cream butter, shortening and peanut butter, until smooth. Add sugars and again, blend til smooth. Add eggs and vanilla, blending thoroughly. Get a good wooden spoon and stir in the dry ingredients until well blended. Scoop out spoonfuls of dough, enough to make 1 inch balls. Roll each ball in a bowl of granulated sugar. Space balls 2 inches apart. Press a fork onto each cookie to flatten it, gently. Turn fork for a second press to get the proper hashtag design.

Here's the important part:
Bake 8-10 minutes=chewy
10-12 minutes=crispy/chewy
12-14 minutes=crispy (watch carefully! They go from perfect to scorched in the blink of an eye! I sometimes knock off 1 minute for the last couple of cookie pans because the oven is really cranked and they are going to be too done without the adjustment. Or you may have to leave them go an extra 30 seconds to get to the magic crispiness.)

Cool a few minutes before removing from pan, and cool completely before storing in a sealable container..this is why you have all those Rubbermaid storage containers!

They are happy served with coffee, tea or best ever, a glass of cold milk!

(A few years ago an elderly woman came into the library where I work. She had moved to our town and wanted a library card. I got her the form and started entering her data. She said her name and I looked up. She was well into her 80's. I asked if she had ever worked at the elementary school that I attended...she said yes, she was a cook there for many years! I told her how much I loved those peanut butter cookies and asked about the recipe. She said the recipes they used were inherited from the previous cooks. She didn't remember the recipe, and since the proportions were for big batches, she wasn't able to help me. We did some nice hand patting and she remembered me from my childhood hair color!
That was when I started looking in earnest for this particular recipe.
posted by LaBellaStella at 10:26 AM on June 7, 2020 [10 favorites]

I used to make peanut butter cookies that were just sweetened condensed milk, peanut butter, and biscuit mix. I liked the flavor and texture, but they didn’t get the brown, slightly crispy bottoms one associates with PB cookies.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:59 PM on June 7, 2020 [1 favorite]

My school gave us "peanut butter cookies" that were literally peanut butter mixed with some flour and a little oil, then rolled out into slabs, then cut and parceled out on little strips of wax paper.

Ugh. I'm pretty sure they're not legal these days, because they used raw flour.
posted by aramaic at 4:58 PM on June 7, 2020 [1 favorite]

Not to equivocate or anything, but CB's Nuts Creamunchy Peanut Butter is the best of both worlds.
posted by brookeb at 10:10 PM on June 7, 2020

I did home made PB a while ago (because I could? I don't remember the reasoning), so it was definitely very much on the crunch side of the spectrum. I had not been a fan of PB in a long time, but without all the added stuff was like a Eureka moment. Oh, so good. And light! Store bought PB usually runs towards "goo", IMO. Homemade was almost airy.

yum.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 8:29 AM on June 8, 2020

Forget crunchy peanut butter, I'm all about that crunchy dairy butter.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:54 PM on June 8, 2020