Will Poo Month Never End???

February 13, 2019 5:28 PM

Poop month was January! JANUARY! And yet Johnny Wallflower and his nefarious assistant Fizz are turning February into Poop month 2: The wrath of crap! When. Will. It. Stop?
posted by Homo neanderthalensis to Etiquette/Policy at 5:28 PM (137 comments total)

Little known fact: the "P" in FPP stands for "Poop".
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:29 PM on February 13, 2019 [34 favorites]

#METAPOOPGATE
posted by Fizz at 5:29 PM on February 13, 2019 [6 favorites]

I blame Johnny Wallflower.
posted by Fizz at 5:37 PM on February 13, 2019 [5 favorites]

Pretty sure it was unintestinal.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:38 PM on February 13, 2019 [39 favorites]

I once received a Winnie the Pooh cookbook titled "Cooking with Pooh" in case anyone is looking for more FPP fodder, either in an adorable children's first cookbook post, or in a "oh dear god, they called it WHAT?" product naming disaster post.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:49 PM on February 13, 2019 [12 favorites]

I already told Fizz I'm breaking up with him.
This was the last straw.
Yep.

(It's also not my fault if he retaliates by posting more shit.)
posted by nightrecordings at 5:59 PM on February 13, 2019 [8 favorites]

The only truly MeFi-appropriate poop post would be about a scientist who collects stool samples being accused of bacterial culture appopriation.
posted by zaixfeep at 6:01 PM on February 13, 2019 [9 favorites]

I just flag them as "Cleanup in aisle 2" and move on.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 6:03 PM on February 13, 2019 [6 favorites]

You buttholes need to quit pooh poohing shit like this.
posted by RolandOfEld at 6:04 PM on February 13, 2019 [7 favorites]

And, of course, comments have to be posted here, in the "brown." (For myself, yeah, I'm ready to be done with the poop posts.)
posted by SPrintF at 6:07 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

I find them moving.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:10 PM on February 13, 2019 [11 favorites]

If your poop is the color of meta you need to get that checked by a professional. Hopefully a professional doctor.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 6:10 PM on February 13, 2019 [11 favorites]

I'm afraid I'm no longer able to participate in poop posts, as I've run out of scatologically-based jokes. My excremental sense of humor is insuffecescient.

I need more Metafiber in my diet...maybe another plate of beans will help.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:12 PM on February 13, 2019 [8 favorites]

Guess what?
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 6:13 PM on February 13, 2019 [5 favorites]

Yes, the fecundity of these posts is concerning.

Coming soon, a Netflix series based on this, called Welcome Back Senokotter.
posted by zaixfeep at 6:14 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

Dungnabbit!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:19 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

This post is so shitty.
posted by bile and syntax at 6:23 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

It was a mistake to try to limit the poop to a single month. It leads to 11 months of constipation. Besides, the way things have been going so far, it's just as easy to declare 2019 "The Year of the Poop".
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:30 PM on February 13, 2019 [5 favorites]

You’re all killing me. But the true villain- Johnny Poopflower has yet to answer for his crimes!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 6:31 PM on February 13, 2019 [7 favorites]

I was ready to quit but Fizz was like "Naw, man, just one more, one more won't kill ya" and I'm like "But Fizz, man, homo neanderthalensis is about to snap, they'll kill us in our sleep" and Fizz was all "I ain't afraid of them and you shouldn't be either" so what I'm saying is blame Fizz and spare me h.neanderthalensis
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:32 PM on February 13, 2019 [19 favorites]

It was a mistake to try to limit the poop to a single month.

Story of mah life, man.
posted by zaixfeep at 6:34 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

Fizz memailed me calling you a poop obsessed monster and claiming you had to be stopped! I SMELL A CONSPIRACY!!!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 6:34 PM on February 13, 2019 [8 favorites]

Really.

I̴͔͎̻ ̨͉̟̕H̛̱̗̺̝̝͡ͅĄ̬̩͚̪́͡ͅV͓̩͖̮͝E̛͇̥͔̺̬͟ ̷̘̦̭̯̫͚̭̳͟S̢̪̮͚͓̙̘̖̪O͖̳̯͓̗̠̩̣̖͠M̵̹̠̰̀E҉̧̭͠ ̢̛̟̣̟͚̥̦Q̮̘̥͜U̡҉̲̤̤͎̦̪E̹S̵̖͓T͘͠҉͙͈̜͖͚̟I̯̫͔̳̫̩̘͔͡O̷̘̰̲͕̰̮̗N̤̠̳͜S̯,҉҉̫͖̳̫̣̙͜ ̸̨̼̞͞F̧̧͈̳͙̟̜̹̝I̲Z͕̩̜̜Z̹̤̙̦̕͘͜ͅ
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:39 PM on February 13, 2019 [7 favorites]

Or should I say "Newly-single Fizz?"
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:40 PM on February 13, 2019 [5 favorites]

This is a POOPspiracy and I blame Johnny Wallflower.
posted by Fizz at 6:40 PM on February 13, 2019 [6 favorites]

The fecal finger of fate is pointing at you. I number two of you now but I'm sure there'll be more.

*pulls up a stool and waits*
posted by h00py at 6:41 PM on February 13, 2019 [8 favorites]

Turbidity and turpitude, that is all I see around me.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:42 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

"Here I sit, alone and ghosted
Tried to poop but only posted."
posted by zaixfeep at 6:42 PM on February 13, 2019 [25 favorites]

Or should I say "Newly-single Fizz?"

Shhhh he still thinks I'm coming to pick him up at the airport on Friday
(i'm not)
posted by nightrecordings at 6:45 PM on February 13, 2019 [10 favorites]

Opening the Blue this month be like
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:46 PM on February 13, 2019 [7 favorites]

I’ve got a baseball bat caveman club for both of you fecal maniacs!
On preview: oh- Johnny posted a gif... GODDAMIT
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 6:48 PM on February 13, 2019 [5 favorites]

Thanks for this post - good to get it out of our collective systems. And there is so much corn viisible throughout that it is undoubtedly healthy.
posted by zaixfeep at 6:51 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

*pulls up a stool and waits*

H00py, the phrase is 'out', not 'up', and that ... sounds both painful and unsettling.
posted by zaixfeep at 7:03 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

Will Poo Month Never End???

Not until we shuffle off this mortal...coil.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:04 PM on February 13, 2019 [7 favorites]

H00py, the phrase is 'out', not 'up', and that ... sounds both painful and unsettling.

I mean, pulling it out successfully would likely be a relief, particularly if it wasn't legs-first.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:11 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

Pain, like life, is all about the journey, not the destination.
posted by zaixfeep at 7:15 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: Eternal Pooptember.
posted by Mutant Lobsters from Riverhead at 7:15 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

I blame Johnny Wallflower.

Keep MeFi Classy!
posted by MonkeyToes at 7:16 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

MetaTalk: Enema Of The Site
posted by zaixfeep at 7:16 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

I forget. Who was the user who originally "requested" a best poop post sub-contest for January?

Because we need to talk.
posted by nightrecordings at 7:18 PM on February 13, 2019 [4 favorites]

DAMNIT JOHNNY!?!

The poo-bandit strikes again.
posted by Fizz at 7:25 PM on February 13, 2019 [4 favorites]

🔨⛏🗡🔪🧨⛓🔧🔫💣
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 7:28 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

WHAT
THE
SHIT
FIZZ?!
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:32 PM on February 13, 2019 [15 favorites]

Forthaluvogod, Fizz and Johnny, never has my standard refrain in JW posts been more needed than now...

"Where the hell are the singin' cats?"
posted by zaixfeep at 7:34 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

"Where the hell are the singin' cats?"

Busy shitposting. Ask again later!
posted by MonkeyToes at 7:40 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

Gong farmers, night soil collectors, and pure finders, all of you.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:45 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

I know what I mean *shifts uncomfortably*
posted by h00py at 7:47 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

Fizz, JW, I'm sorry for my post. This being MeFi, we all know who is really to blame - Late Stage Crapitalism.

BTW, my scalp tingled and I felt a great sense of relief once I pressed 'Post Comment'. Is that normal?
posted by zaixfeep at 7:54 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

BTW, my scalp tingled and I felt a great sense of relief once I pressed 'Post Comment'. Is that normal?

Don't worry, it'll pass.
posted by MonkeyToes at 8:01 PM on February 13, 2019 [6 favorites]

Little known fact: the "P" in FPP stands for "Poop".

Littler known fact, only ONE of them stands for poop.

the other sits for it!
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:25 PM on February 13, 2019 [68 favorites]

Yes, pooping is indeed something I personally will not stand for.
posted by zaixfeep at 8:30 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

Gong farmers, night soil collectors, and pure finders...

Swimmin' pools, movie stars.
posted by zaixfeep at 8:40 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

I know what I mean *shifts uncomfortably*

At first I misread shifts, and was about to suggest Metamucil.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:55 PM on February 13, 2019 [7 favorites]

I misread Greg_Ace and thought there was a MetaFilter sub-site I didn't know about.
posted by zaixfeep at 9:01 PM on February 13, 2019 [6 favorites]

Wait, so are you saying it's the right time for an FPP on Kids YouTube Star Blippi “Regrets” The Viral Video In Which He Poops All Over His Friend? (This occurred several years before Blippi became a children's entertainer, so I'm not really sure why it's relevant, which the article itself eventually comes around to admitting: "If two adult men want to take a crap on each other for the sake of a viral video, I say god bless them.")
posted by zachlipton at 9:06 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

On a related note, I had a designer work up a draft design for the megathread challenge coin, and the plate of beans looks like a plate of poop.

This concerned me, and I've spent much of this evening trying to think about ways to address that problem. But if MeFi is leaning into poop, maybe it was fate?
posted by zachlipton at 9:11 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

Saying "poo poo two" is fun, I highly recommend it
posted by Pronoiac at 9:13 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

Poo poo.
posted by zaixfeep at 9:21 PM on February 13, 2019 [2 favorites]

Go for it, zachlipton. Let it fly!
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:33 PM on February 13, 2019

Metafilter: Leaning into poop

which, frankly, sounds unhygenic
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:12 PM on February 13, 2019 [4 favorites]

I usually start out sitting down when I poop.

Maybe I should eat less fiber. I was pooping in an outhouse once and when I was done there was another little outhouse sitting there. I wasn't sure if I should still sprinkle sawdust over it or what.
posted by loquacious at 10:19 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

Soundtrack to the thread: Bad Lip Reading, "Everybody Poops."
posted by Pronoiac at 10:41 PM on February 13, 2019 [1 favorite]

Is there where I should explain that in my office building by the service elevator, there is an open room that the staff don't want people storing things in. So, it's got lots of signs up that say "No dumping!"

The janitorial staff has regular meetings in that room, so they have a bunch of places to sit that they keep there. The places to sit? Are portable seats with no backs, a.k.a. stools.

So, right next to the "No dumping!" signs, there is a very large stool deposit.

Yes, I giggle about this every time I walk past.
posted by nat at 10:59 PM on February 13, 2019 [12 favorites]

I will not, in fact, let the poop fly.
posted by zachlipton at 11:25 PM on February 13, 2019 [3 favorites]

Thank you zachlipton- and good luck finding a non-poop plate of beans
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 12:16 AM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

It was a mistake to try to limit the poop to a single month.

#FecalFebruary
posted by Wordshore at 3:22 AM on February 14, 2019 [6 favorites]

Aw, pronoiac, I was hoping for REM.

Everybody pooooops soooometimes...take comfort in your friends?
posted by wellred at 4:49 AM on February 14, 2019 [5 favorites]

these guys ought to just buy some plastic sheeting and get a room
posted by thelonius at 5:22 AM on February 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

#fecalfebruary4eva
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 5:24 AM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

In fairness there have only been 26 poop-related FPPs so far this year. That's a frequency of roughly once every other day, which most medical professionals will conclude is insufficient. So it feels like there's far more poop backing up inside MeFites that's yet to emerge on the site.
posted by Wordshore at 5:33 AM on February 14, 2019 [12 favorites]

I'm OK with it, as long as it stays off the Purple.

It's all fun and games until the shit hits the FanFare.
posted by zamboni at 5:41 AM on February 14, 2019 [15 favorites]

I love these posts, though they are colonizing the front page. Mods, please don't bowelderize the Blue by getting rid of them.
posted by lazaruslong at 5:44 AM on February 14, 2019 [4 favorites]

MetaFilter: just buy some plastic sheeting and get a room.
posted by Wordshore at 5:59 AM on February 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

Oh, no, they've gotten to Wordshore, too. It's the beginning of the Apoocalpyse!
posted by briank at 6:19 AM on February 14, 2019 [4 favorites]

Wordshore was the one who started teh contest. He's the ringleader.
posted by thelonius at 6:29 AM on February 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

Yeah, it was Wordshore. That's the ticket.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:47 AM on February 14, 2019 [9 favorites]

My only contribution here to the Apoocalypse.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 7:32 AM on February 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

Don't be so anal retentive - it's only mid-month - another 14 days to "go" - let the pooposts flow.
posted by mightshould at 7:37 AM on February 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

The poopening continues.

*grins*
posted by Fizz at 7:46 AM on February 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

I prefer shit-threaders over thread-shitters.
posted by drlith at 7:51 AM on February 14, 2019 [6 favorites]

Man, all my exciting poop things have either already been posted or would be self links. Happy to ramble about monkey poop in any appropriate (or, frankly, inappropriate) threads.
posted by ChuraChura at 8:02 AM on February 14, 2019 [5 favorites]

MetaFilter: Happy to ramble about monkey poop in any appropriate (or, frankly, inappropriate) threads.
posted by lazaruslong at 8:18 AM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

Monkey poop, doodoo doodoo doodoo
Monkey poop, doodoo doodoo doodoo
Monkey poop, doodoo doodoo doodoo
Monkey poop!
posted by moonmilk at 8:28 AM on February 14, 2019 [4 favorites]

I mean, February is month #2 sooooooo...
posted by cage and aquarium at 8:35 AM on February 14, 2019 [7 favorites]

ChuraChura, I told my eight year old that I had a "friend" who studied monkeys and their poop to learn things about the monkeys, and the eight year old was DELIGHTED. He would love to hear more about monkey poop.
posted by Liesl at 8:37 AM on February 14, 2019 [13 favorites]

He would love to hear more about monkey poop.

Seconded. And, to add to hippypoop's sentiment, I would much rather read about some offbeat monkey poop news rather than the latest in the relentless tide of outrage.
posted by Wordshore at 8:39 AM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

(whistles) Imma be over here in the blue, creating a FPP about a comedy podcast where scientists share their work and why their work matters...(whistles) that anyone can comment in...

previewpreviewpreview
...oh dammit, it's been done.
posted by Liesl at 9:05 AM on February 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

y'all I am giggling to myself like a very satisfied hyena after one hell of a long work week spent fighting with my equipment. This is amazing.

I don't study poop, although I've been dying for one of my colleagues to collect some wild-caught feces from the singing mice for some time so we can find out what the shit it is they eat in the wild. Did you know that you can tell that from poop by sequencing it in a technique called "metabarcoding" that's more effective that capturing wild animals and dissecting the contents of their stomachs? That latter approach is vulnerable to over-counting certain types of things (in my guys, say, insect carapaces or woody vegetation that stick around longer vs. the soft, malleable grubs we know they like), and metabarcoding is also noninvasive which makes it incredibly helpful for conservationists. I'm sure Chura knows a whole lot more than me about it!

I am often sad that I feel like I can either choose between networking with other EEB folks online or sharing cool science in my field. There's so much neat stuff out there! But it usually feels just a little too close to stepping over that no-self-promotional line.
posted by sciatrix at 9:30 AM on February 14, 2019 [8 favorites]

"metabarcoding"

🤔
posted by Fizz at 9:42 AM on February 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

wild-caught feces from the singing mice

Now I really want to change my username.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:57 AM on February 14, 2019 [8 favorites]

Anyone is always welcome to e-mail/me-mail/tweet/whatever me and I will regale you or your kids with tales of monkey poop and other monkey poop-adjacent things!
posted by ChuraChura at 10:02 AM on February 14, 2019 [4 favorites]

The singing mice? Are you living in a Seanan McGuire novel? Are there cryptids there?
posted by phearlez at 10:22 AM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

Anyone is always welcome to e-mail/me-mail/tweet/whatever me and I will regale you or your kids with tales of monkey poop and other monkey poop-adjacent things!

Probably best to do that there because we don’t want everyone going apeshit in public!
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:30 AM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

phearlez: The singing mice? Are you living in a Seanan McGuire novel? Are there cryptids there?

You can possibly find some answers in here -- Context in courtship: how do singing mice decide when to sing? -- a Projects post on sciatrix's thesis work.

And sorry for the USB drive pooped out from a seal post -- I sent Johnny the link, because I thought "hey, this is kind of weird and interesting, I could post this! Or ... maybe Mr. Wallflower might appreciate it more?" ;)
posted by filthy light thief at 11:02 AM on February 14, 2019 [4 favorites]

My veterinarian labels the pets' folders with the first 3 letters of the owner's last name. I think it's hilarious that my cats' folders are labeled POO.
posted by JanetLand at 11:24 AM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

beans beans the magic fruit
the more you eat, the more you toot
the more you toot, the better you feel
so let's have beans for every meal

beans beans, these ok to eat?
Found these beans in the street
Hate to see them go to waste
Wonder how these beans will taste

beans beans, good as a name?
Partner thinks it's a bit lame
Throw an idea into the hat
I need a name for my cat

beans beans for my plate
i hope this post isn't too late
Poop post are hard, you can't rush art
Might we make a month for the fart?
posted by CMcG at 11:25 AM on February 14, 2019 [13 favorites]

Yeah, it was Wordshore. That's the ticket.

*kill bill sirens start in head*
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 11:53 AM on February 14, 2019 [5 favorites]

I sent Johnny the link

So it is a poopspriracy!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 12:00 PM on February 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

Did anyone else immediately hear CMcG's last post in Jay/Silent Bob's voice, like the scene where he starts rapping about dealing weed and people not having money?

No? I might be stoned.

Wait, no I'm not.

Ok, now I'm definitely stoned.
posted by loquacious at 12:17 PM on February 14, 2019 [4 favorites]

Oh 💩!
posted by Lynsey at 12:17 PM on February 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

Wow, it really doesn't stop on the front page. I'm going to go hide in Megathread, where the shit is allegorical and the pee tape remains mercifully unreleased.
posted by heatvision at 12:25 PM on February 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

The poop....it's evolving, it's spreading and new tags and subjects are being absorbed into this pile of shit.
posted by Fizz at 12:29 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

How long until we get a MetaPoop subsite?
posted by Fizz at 12:30 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

Oh, hey! This seems like the perfect place for this barely interesting personal anecdote: so as some of you may know, I had surgery recently to fix up three hernias. Everything appears to have gone well. MRS. IRFH stayed with me the first couple of days after, then went back to work. Day four came around, and the only milestone left was that I hadn't yet... FPP'd.

About halfway through the day, I sent her the following text:

💩 Success!

And there was much rejoicing.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:31 PM on February 14, 2019 [16 favorites]

HUZZAH! Glad you're healing well IRFH. 💩
posted by Fizz at 12:35 PM on February 14, 2019 [4 favorites]

"Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to share with you our product range. We believe that you can’t say “Crapper” without smiling and we want your smiles of delight for our beautiful range to last for many years to come."

posted by octobersurprise at 12:36 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

And there was much rejoicing.

h'raaaay...
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:56 PM on February 14, 2019 [4 favorites]

Oh what is this? The shitting forecast?
posted by East14thTaco at 1:01 PM on February 14, 2019 [5 favorites]

I was mucking out my sister's horse shed this weekend, during which the 2 horses chose to stand on either side of the wheelbarrow and prevent me from dumping any manure in it. Eventually I gave up and let them keep their stash.

I'm not a total expert in horse body language but I think they were saying they didn't want such high quality manure getting in the hands of the Axis of Poop, which as we all know is Johnny Wallflower-Fizz-Wordshore.

Also their piles look remarkably like a plate of giant beans.
posted by Emmy Rae at 1:24 PM on February 14, 2019 [11 favorites]

ChuraChura, if one were, hypothetically speaking, looking for this would-be-self-linking poop content to turn into a non-self-link FPP, where exactly would one look?
posted by biogeo at 2:13 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

Wordshore is definitely an nstigator. To the very fiber of his being.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:18 PM on February 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

its weird... on Metafilter self-linking poop is a no no. Everywhere else though - if you tried to start conversations by only bringing up someone else's poop...
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:29 PM on February 14, 2019 [1 favorite]

if you tried to start conversations by only bringing up someone else's poop...

Bad topics to open a conversation with
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:44 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

Gentlemen, who would shit on a flag made out of shit? It would be an empty gesture.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 2:57 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

the Axis of Poop, which as we all know is Johnny Wallflower-Fizz-Wordshore

aka The Shitposter Trifecta or The Three Cacateers
posted by nubs at 3:57 PM on February 14, 2019 [9 favorites]

@meganpaolone: great news we added "shat" to the BuzzFeed @styleguide today truly don't know why/how it took us this long, sorry everyone
posted by zachlipton at 5:56 PM on February 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

A little thin for an FPP by itself (like 5 or 6 Bristol) but Home Depot ‘bomb threat’ was actually customer warning he’s about to poop
posted by rodlymight at 7:44 PM on February 14, 2019 [7 favorites]

I, for one, welcome our new poop-flinging overlords.

Though I don't WANT to be exposed to anus.
posted by bendy at 7:48 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

I, for one, welcome our new poop-flinging overlords.

Preferably from a distance well out of bombardment range. Or at least from within a full-coverage disposable poncho.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:58 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

JW and Fizz, the battle Royale for the gold plated pooper scooper.
posted by clavdivs at 8:28 PM on February 14, 2019 [2 favorites]

Little known fact: the “P” in FPP stands for “Poop”.

A front poop poop.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:52 PM on February 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

JW and Fizz, the battle Royale for the gold plated pooper scooper.

With Wordshore judging.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 8:53 PM on February 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

I just came to say that Johnny can continue to post any.damn.thing.he.wants! I said so.
posted by HuronBob at 9:03 PM on February 14, 2019 [6 favorites]

JW and Fizz, the battle Royale for the gold plated pooper scooper.

Whoever wins will have a big shit-eating grin, I'm sure.
posted by nubs at 9:06 PM on February 14, 2019 [5 favorites]

Butthole Royale
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:29 PM on February 14, 2019 [19 favorites]

With Wordshore judging.

That’s just what Wordshore wants! Once the Dung Duo have weakened each other, the Monarch of Manure can sweep in and reign forever as the Potentate of Poop!
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:39 AM on February 15, 2019 [7 favorites]

About halfway through the day, I sent her the following text:

💩 Success!

And there was much rejoicing.

This past summer, I had an abdominal surgery, which involved several days of clear liquids before and after, which is miserable for a gourmand such as myself. The key milestone to show that my bowels had resumed their usual course of action and that I would be allowed people food again was, um, the production of gas. I celebrated this by texting my now wife with a short video showing me exiting the bathroom in my hospital room to the opening of AC/DC's classic "Thunderstruck", with choreography based on me pointing to the appropriate anatomical region each time the song chants "Thunder!".
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:34 AM on February 15, 2019 [8 favorites]

New topic challenge/suggestion: Fossil February

(And if you say "why not both?" then ... sure, find something to share about coprolite)
posted by filthy light thief at 8:34 PM on February 16, 2019 [2 favorites]

Wait, the whole FPP thing... am I the only one who thinks it’s pronounced fffpoop?
posted by Ghidorah at 1:21 AM on February 17, 2019 [5 favorites]

Not any more!
posted by moonmilk at 7:46 AM on February 17, 2019 [5 favorites]

He's the ringleader.

Did this really not rate a single "I see what you did there"?
posted by thelonius at 8:04 AM on February 27, 2019 [1 favorite]

There's one day left, folks.
posted by Wordshore at 5:49 PM on February 27, 2019 [1 favorite]

Shit or get off the pot, in other words.
posted by nubs at 7:06 PM on February 27, 2019 [2 favorites]

I've made my contribution. In the end Johnny won. I'm glad this shitty month is over. We can now move on.
posted by Fizz at 8:33 PM on February 27, 2019 [2 favorites]

Just in time for Manure March!
posted by nubs at 9:00 PM on February 27, 2019

I have a classy idea for March that uses something else starting with "M." That's all I'll say for now.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:23 PM on February 27, 2019

Different word beginning with "M."
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 8:51 PM on February 28, 2019