secret quonsar 2018: Let's Plan! October 17, 2018 10:54 PM   Subscribe

Friends! It is October and it's time to plan for this year's secret quonsar swap! The swap is - for the uninitiated - our holiday-adjacent wintery gift exchange (Read About it on the Wiki).

secret quonsar is an opportunity to be kind, to get to know someone else virtually, and to send a small token to someone out there who is a lovely and delightful person. It's been a rough year on many levels for all of us, and so secret quonsar could be a small antidote to an onslaught of ... well, 2018.

This is the proposed schedule for this year's quonsartastic festivities:

November 1-9: Swap Signup Period.
November 10: Randomization Hamster Wheel Fired Up.
November 11: Folks get notified about who they drew (This is a Sunday.)
(November 22: American Thanksgiving)
December 1: Shipping Deadline (This is a Saturday.)
December 27: Second Chance Senders will not be needed because all gifts will have arrived*

phunniemee and arcticseal will be returning as quonsczars this year.

We anticipate these swap groups:

Anywhere/International (You can receive a gift from or send a gift to anywhere on Earth, including your own country)
US Only
Canada Only
UK Only
Europe
Australia/New Zealand**

The spending guidelines will be $10-20 again.

There are 2 issues facing us right now:
1. The perennial issue that some international shipping in, to, or from some countries takes FOREVER (or months and months and months). We can't fix much about that, but I wish I could.

2. The Google issue. (I have not found a better way to run this thing; even if we use memail with you, your information will be stored on a google server.)

If you are concerned you might miss the announcement of the swap signups being open (due to exams, weaving a rich fantasy world populated by cheese-gifting gnomes, Halloween hangovers, finishing the great American novel, figuring out how to Pumpkin Spice up road signs, creeping holiday stress, being treated for an overuse of the side-eye, work demands, taking a break from the grey, intensive study of the upcoming college basketball landscape, binge-watching old episodes of WKRP in Cincinnati, et cetera), you can sign up to be notified when secret quonsar signups are open. You don't have to sign up anew every year - you stay on the list until you ask us to take you off the list! Every year, when the signups go live, you will get an email letting you know. Signing up for this list is NOT signing up for secret quonsar - just to be notified when sq opens each year.

* we can dream! If a gift has been eaten by the customs/postal machinery, one of our wonderful second chance senders - volunteers who send someone whose gift never arrived a second gift - will step up to send a second gift out. These folks are the unsung heroes of quonsing, and should be lauded near and far.

** We'll need at least 4 folks to do the NZ/Australia swap.
posted by julen to MetaFilter-Related at 10:54 PM (97 comments total) 28 users marked this as a favorite

Yay! It’s the mosh quonsarful time of the year! Thanks Julen.
posted by ellieBOA at 11:30 PM on October 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


Hooray! Hooray! *digs out festive hamster wheel ornament for the Quonsar cheese tree*
posted by halcyonday at 2:32 AM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


Yay! One of my very favorite things all year. :)
posted by firei at 2:55 AM on October 18, 2018


Looking forward to the fun of finding something for someone and the delicious anticipation of waiting for a package from Q. Onsar in the mail.
posted by sciencegeek at 2:57 AM on October 18, 2018


Quonsar is what makes the festive season for me. You all never fail to surprise me with your enthusiasm and creativeness every year. If you've never done Quonsar before and think you'd like it, make this year the one that you dive into the tinsel bowl filled with octopi and hamsters.
posted by arcticseal at 4:02 AM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


Oh what the hell, I'm in.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:24 AM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


I think, especially this year, that it is important that I reiterate my "Ode to a Meh Quonsmas" from a few years ago.

Please don't place massive expectations upon yourself or your fellow Mefites this Quoliday season. Secret Quonsar is a delight and a joy, it is a way to be connected with the kindly folk we share this weird old internet website with, and a small source of warmth and light in a season (and a world) that can seem cold and dark. It is not a time to feel stress about choosing the exact perfect gift. It is not a time to look with envy at your fellow Mefites who got a more personal, more meaningful gift than you did.

A Meh Quonsmas is a lovely Quonsmas. Do your best, and be kind to yourself.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:05 AM on October 18, 2018 [22 favorites]


HELL YES my favorite send a box of random crap reflecting the inside of my brain activity! I came to the grey to check if it was up yet because I missed signups last year and was sad, so now I've signed up for the reminder to sign up!
posted by bile and syntax at 5:41 AM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


Excited! I love SQ.
posted by mdonley at 5:46 AM on October 18, 2018


2018 has sucked so bad that I expect you're going to have to set aside the tradition of using a hamster and instead try to get one of these bad boys to power the Quansar Machine instead.

That said: EEEEEEEEEEE! I love Quonsmas!
posted by wenestvedt at 5:50 AM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


Yay! Quonsmas! I think this will be my fifth? Sixth? Quonsmas is coming; all is well.
posted by angiep at 6:59 AM on October 18, 2018


YES! I will put this on my calendar this year to sign up (though last year's forgetting to sign up did still yielded quonsmas joy thanks to stinkfoot who also missed sign ups)

QUONSMASSSS! The most wonderful time of year.
posted by astapasta24 at 7:22 AM on October 18, 2018


weaving a rich fantasy world populated by cheese-gifting gnomes

Well shit, there's a good side-quest for my D&D campaign.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 7:26 AM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


Yay! My favorite thing all year.
posted by bondcliff at 7:33 AM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


YAY, I haven't been able to quons in the past few years so I am happy to join in again!
posted by elsietheeel at 7:33 AM on October 18, 2018


Yay!!!!!!!
posted by ChuraChura at 8:22 AM on October 18, 2018


I AM SO EXCITED!
posted by tooloudinhere at 8:41 AM on October 18, 2018


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by aaanastasia at 8:54 AM on October 18, 2018


Yes! This is so much fun, I’ve been smiling all morning just thing about it!
posted by lepus at 8:57 AM on October 18, 2018


Yay! I am in!
posted by sarcasticah at 8:59 AM on October 18, 2018


Oh, very well.

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!1!
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:24 AM on October 18, 2018


julen: The Google issue. (I have not found a better way to run this thing; even if we use memail with you, your information will be stored on a google server.)

Last year's method worked for me (using a special sockpuppet just for this) so I'll be happy to use it again. Thank you for doing this!
posted by Too-Ticky at 9:30 AM on October 18, 2018


wenestvedt:
"2018 has sucked so bad that I expect you're going to have to set aside the tradition of using a hamster and instead try to get one of these bad boys to power the Quansar Machine instead.

That said: EEEEEEEEEEE! I love Quonsmas!"


These fellows have already made a bid for being the randomizers-in-chief. Note: I didn't actully have it out for bids.

The hamsters have been in a war meeting all morning. So far, they've been through 3 pies, and a gallon of orchard-fresh cider.

Too-Ticky:
"julen: The Google issue. (I have not found a better way to run this thing; even if we use memail with you, your information will be stored on a google server.)

Last year's method worked for me (using a special sockpuppet just for this) so I'll be happy to use it again. Thank you for doing this!"


Good to know! I'll make sure the official announcement on November 1 contains the same guidelines for that.

Also a tip o' the hat to the Mod who fixed my embarrassing typo in the post title! [Not to worry: it still lives in the url!]
posted by julen at 9:36 AM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


Yay! My fourth Quonsmas!
posted by holborne at 9:58 AM on October 18, 2018


Yayyyy! I was so bummed that I missed signups last year, and today I was just thinking "oh crap, must check the grey if Secret Quonsar is up already so I don't miss signups again!" Long live Quonsmas! And thanks for the signup-for-notifications list!
posted by sldownard at 10:35 AM on October 18, 2018


Thank god for opt in mails and the quonczars... I'm off to India for Diwali for the first time in 20 years
posted by infini at 10:45 AM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]


Ouiiii c'est Quoël !!
posted by fraula at 10:47 AM on October 18, 2018 [8 favorites]


It is not a time to feel stress about choosing the exact perfect gift.

EXCEPT IF THAT IS YOUR JAM. Like, for me this is one of the BEST PARTS OF QUONSMAS, agonizing over my unspecific instructions and haunting my Quonsee's Asks and trying to figure out the veryverybest gift I can. I will never have this joy again with my family because I have already bought them all these super insightful gifts years ago. Let me have this one thing. Please. I may fail - that is the risk. BUT LET ME STRIVE.
posted by corb at 11:28 AM on October 18, 2018 [17 favorites]


QUONSMAS WHOO WHOO WHOO I am SO EXCITED It's not Christmas unless I'm exchanging trinkets with random internet strangers WHOO I LOVE IT
posted by zeusianfog at 11:40 AM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


I didn't realize how much I was waiting for the first Quonsar post of the year until this point when i'm reading this thread and tearing up looking at the skull I got for Quonsmas last year.

OK, maybe there are some hormones driving those tears...but YAY QUONSAR!!!!
posted by okayokayigive at 12:16 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'm still thinking about that time that someone was assigned their IRL spouse...
posted by advicepig at 12:19 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


advicepig -- wahahaha! What happened? Did they keep their spouse or switch to a different gift recipient?
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 12:42 PM on October 18, 2018


If I recall correctly, it was the fastest Quonsing ever, since the present was already in hand when the email arrived.
posted by advicepig at 12:51 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


Testimonial:

This is fun and a thing I've done twice now and will do again.

Also:

julen, phunniemee and arcticseal are awesome for volunteering to organize it. Thanks!

Footnote:

I've done international each time. While shipping did take time (from Canada on my end to Sweden one year and Japan the other) it didn't seem too bad, so don't let that dissuade you from going international, although depending on postage rates it might not be for your budget.

I made sure to send with a couple of weeks of cushion vs. the deadline. Also, I may have lucked out with the caprices of customs, etc.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:54 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


Hurray! Thanks for organizing.

So excited. I love presents in the mail!
posted by needlegrrl at 1:26 PM on October 18, 2018


Hooray!
posted by thomas j wise at 1:31 PM on October 18, 2018


I am in like Flynn and put me down for two second chances as well. I am paying forward being unexpectedly quonsed not once but twice last year when I was awaiting surgery and unable to participate because I figured I’d be out of commission.

Of course I didn’t end up getting called until mid January, so giant eyeroll there. But *kermit arms* yay it’s Quonsmas time again!!!! *more Kermit arms and unnecessary punctuation*
posted by romakimmy at 1:44 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]


It is NOT this time of year already. It is NOT. *cries*

I’m in, obvs
posted by billiebee at 1:46 PM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


Last year was my first time and so, of course, I'm in for another go-round. It was kind of fun, she said in a baffled sort of way.
posted by MovableBookLady at 1:54 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


You people made me smile like a fool in the turnstiles area of the Santiago metro.
posted by signal at 2:08 PM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]


IT'S THE MOST QUONSICAL TIME OF YEAR!

I'm in. Schedule looks good!
posted by deezil at 2:35 PM on October 18, 2018


I can't wait and signup day is in my calendar! Last year was my first year, and I got the most amazing gifts for my baby dog, two rounds, in fact, because of a perceived mix-up on the part of the company. How amazing it was!
posted by bookworm4125 at 3:26 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


IMHO Quonsmas is the best because it's completely voluntary. Both the giving and the getting rekindle holiday season joy in me that is otherwise crushed by the weight of so many obligations and forced fun. It makes everything better.
posted by carmicha at 5:28 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


Baby's first Quonsmas! (I'm the baby.)
posted by meemzi at 7:00 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]


Are there traditional quonsmas songs?

Last year I dithered this year I jump in with both feet!
posted by jointhedance at 7:07 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]


I mean I don't see how I could do any better than last year, in either direction, but yes I am in.
posted by Adridne at 7:39 PM on October 18, 2018


I am always in, you had me at Quonsar.
posted by msali at 8:01 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]


Are there traditional quonsmas songs?

Jingle Rock Bell.
posted by ActionPopulated at 9:04 PM on October 18, 2018 [7 favorites]


I'm in. I might be cash poor but I have lots of skills and shiny things.

Also does anyone want a 200 foot tall Douglas Fir as a quonsarmas tree?
posted by loquacious at 11:13 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]


Lovely! I always look forward to SQ season. SQEASON?

Also, lurkers and infrequent commenters are warmly welcome! It’s always so nice to see new names joining in on the fun!
posted by mochapickle at 11:28 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]


Also does anyone want a 200 foot tall Douglas Fir as a quonsarmas tree?

Yes. Not even kidding :) I miss those trees. Also trillium and giant rhododendrons and ferns.
posted by fraula at 12:15 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Oh wow, hi. When I mentioned Quonsmas in the subscription box thread just now, I didn't realize this post had gone up today! I had truly just had the idle train of thought while driving earlier that we were now much closer to the coming Quonsmas than the past Quonsmas, and yes please, bring it on. I love this so much.
posted by limeonaire at 12:44 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Also, uncleozzy's NSFW jam from last year is still my favorite, uh, Quonsmas tune.
posted by limeonaire at 12:49 AM on October 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


It's the most wonderful time of the year.
posted by RhysPenbras at 5:23 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


I think I *might* have the wherewithal this year to do Quonsmas for the first time in a few years. I already have a project in mind for it, too, so yay!
posted by cooker girl at 5:37 AM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


YESSS THIS IS MY FAVORITE
posted by brilliantine at 6:22 AM on October 19, 2018


Also does anyone want a 200 foot tall Douglas Fir as a quonsarmas tree?

Me! But you have to deliver it yourself!
posted by elsietheeel at 6:45 AM on October 19, 2018


Last year was my first year quonsing and it gave me all the warm fuzzies! I’ve learned a bunch of new crafty crafts this year that I hope to be able to put to use in this year’s gift giving! I strongly encourage lurkers to take the plunge!
posted by oomny at 7:17 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


It's too soon, but Merry Fishpants to you, julen, and all the Quonsmas gnomes and givers! Quonsmas is special. I get a pony every year, no idea how that works, but it's amazing.
posted by theora55 at 7:25 AM on October 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


Could the site banner message mention this?
posted by theora55 at 7:30 AM on October 19, 2018


EXCEPT IF THAT IS YOUR JAM. Like, for me this is one of the BEST PARTS OF QUONSMAS, agonizing over my unspecific instructions and haunting my Quonsee's Asks and trying to figure out the veryverybest gift I can.

Oh, absolutely yes. More power to you if that is indeed your jam, as it is mine. You are talking to the same MeFite who painted a portrait of a dog last year...
posted by Rock Steady at 7:32 AM on October 19, 2018 [3 favorites]


Huzzah! Can't wait to see who the hamsters assign me this year. :)
posted by miratime at 9:09 AM on October 19, 2018


Woo woo, it's the best time of year again!
posted by PussKillian at 9:51 AM on October 19, 2018


Adding my voice to the chorus of people who are very excited for another magical Quonsmas!

A potential pony: is a US+Canada shipping group possible? I did a different online secret santa-type exchange a couple years ago that had this shipping group. I was assigned a gifter and giftee in Canada, and I loved that it combined the thrill of giving and receiving international presents with the ease of non-overseas international shipping. The answer may be "there are like 5 Canadians in SQ" and in that case I'd understand--I honestly have no idea how many Canadian MeFites there are! Maybe we can get Mexico in on it too?
posted by capricorn at 10:12 AM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


Aha! My third Quonsmas! I'm so excited. I love shopping for Quonsmas, and this year I'm gonna be prepared, dammit.
posted by sciatrix at 10:57 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Yaaay! I love Quonsmas!!
posted by Fig at 11:00 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


US+Canada shipping group possible? .... Maybe we can get Mexico in on it too?

NAFTA is not dead yet!

I'd be all for this, too. Also, sign me up as a second-chancer.
posted by angiep at 12:26 PM on October 19, 2018


Maybe we can get Mexico in on it too?

Correos de Mexico is really, really slow—literally 2–3 months for a postcard to the US—and packages often disappear. If you do ship to/from Mexico, use something like DHL or FedEx.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:30 PM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


OK, SO is saying I need to go full international this year. Bring it on.

On the subject of trees, 200' is pretty huge. The UK's alternative quonsmas arrangement with Norway only sees transfer of a 70' tree.
posted by biffa at 1:15 PM on October 19, 2018


capricorn:
"A potential pony: is a US+Canada shipping group possible?"

We'd need at least 4 people to make this happen. I can add it as an option and keep an eye on its numbers (just as I'll do for Australia/NZ). If we don't hit 4, I can contact signers up and find out what group is their second choice.
posted by julen at 1:19 PM on October 19, 2018


I am down for the US+Canada option.

And, YYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Quonsar time!
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 1:25 PM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Dear MetaFilter,
What would it actually take to ship a 200-foot tree from the Pacific Northwest to the UK? By what means would it ship, what would the time frame be, and how much would it cost? Is it possible? Please provide a quote for this ASAP.

Best,
limeonaire

P.S. I can make this an Ask MetaFilter question if need be.
posted by limeonaire at 1:27 PM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]


I'm down for Australia/NZ, OR I'd be happy to do international. Regardless, I'd also like to sign up for the Second Chance team as well.

Oh, happy Quonsmas!!
posted by ninazer0 at 2:08 PM on October 19, 2018


I may be tempted to join up to Australia/NZ, especially if there is need of a fourth.
posted by freethefeet at 8:10 PM on October 19, 2018


julen: "We'd need at least 4 people to make this happen. I can add it as an option and keep an eye on its numbers (just as I'll do for Australia/NZ). If we don't hit 4, I can contact signers up and find out what group is their second choice."

YAY, thank you! /pets adorable fuzzy baby pony
posted by capricorn at 9:03 PM on October 19, 2018


eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I thought I might have missed it because *THIS YEAR HAS BEEN URGH!** and I am flat broke, but I've going to find the monies for this as it gives me the most-est joy.
posted by Faintdreams at 5:56 AM on October 20, 2018 [1 favorite]




Tree transit topic:
At work we are in the midst of sourcing a 25+ ft conifer for our holiday decoration extravaganza. We have to borrow a trailer to move it.

So if anyone nearby has a nice symmetrical evergreen they want to donate - we will come and fell it and take it away. We will even tidy up afterward.
posted by sciencegeek at 8:30 AM on October 20, 2018 [2 favorites]


i’m in for NZ/Australia! this is my first time and am rather excited. i adore secret pressies.
posted by lemon_icing at 4:54 AM on October 21, 2018


user quonsar is gone. If it is not a secret, is he still here in another form? or really really gone?
posted by Meatbomb at 4:55 AM on October 21, 2018


I would like to quonsmas again too please.
posted by h00py at 4:55 AM on October 21, 2018


user quonsar is gone.

the true meaning of quonsar is the quonsar we’ve met along the way
posted by mochapickle at 9:49 AM on October 21, 2018 [7 favorites]


!!!!!!!!

I AM EXCITE!
posted by jillithd at 11:37 AM on October 22, 2018


Oh my goodness y'all, I've been a Mefite for over ten years and I've even been to meet-ups and participate in all kinds of site community things--except this.

Super excited to give it a try this year. Thank you to julen, phunniemee, and arcticseal for doing the organizing!
posted by librarylis at 12:36 PM on October 22, 2018 [1 favorite]


Woooo!!!
posted by samthemander at 9:04 PM on October 22, 2018


I'd like to sign up to be a second-chancer! I have lots of ideas...
posted by domo at 2:16 PM on October 23, 2018


Excellent. I've started this year's second chance volunteer list with the 4 of you.

Second chancers are awesome people who volunteer to send a gift to someone whose gift was lost in customs/the mail/to neighborhood scofflaws. We generally try to match someone in the same geographic area [while looking for some variety; if a Nova Scotian doesn't get a gift, I'm more like to assign an Albertan than I am a PEI-dweller as their second chancer].

When you volunteer, I will keep track of where you live and your sending preferences - it's OK to say "Just Canada" or "Just North America" or "Just Europe" or "Just the US" or "Anywhere, Anyplace, dude." I will infer from your selected swapping region what your preference is, but you can tell me different.

I will also check in with you in mid-late December to make sure you can still Second Chance. It's cool if you can't - life is unpredictable and we know that things happen. There's no penalty or even bad feeling if you can't Second Chance after all.

We also keep track of who we've used in recent years so I don't ask Mefite AwesomeSauce to sq 4 years in a row, while Mefite AwesomeTacos the next state over is just sitting there, a constant volunteer who doesn't get picked. There are a few folks who get picked several years in a row because they volunteer from a country with fewer second chancer volunteers and we use both/all of the volunteers from that country.

It's such a temptation to pick a bunch of you every year because you have demonstrated Awesomeness, but we're trying to spread the second chancing joy around. If you aren't picked to second chance it's usually a combination of geography, history, and literally rolling dice in some cases.
posted by julen at 2:49 PM on October 23, 2018 [2 favorites]


I'd also be up for being a second chancer! I'm blessed with a magical gift store right down the street where I can find anything for anyone (within reason).
posted by elsietheeel at 7:02 PM on October 23, 2018


I’m up for second chancing.
posted by arcticseal at 1:22 AM on October 24, 2018


Sign me up for second chancing as well, please?
posted by holborne at 11:56 AM on October 24, 2018


I am finally going to get to quons! After years of "dangit, that was LAST WEEK?"
posted by bunderful at 11:57 AM on October 28, 2018 [1 favorite]


Me, me, me! This will be my first and I can’t wait!

I might also be interested in that US/Canada group, too. :)
posted by theappleonatree at 3:04 PM on October 28, 2018


I had my first Quonsmas last year and I loved it. I had so much fun choosing gifts for my Quonsee, and in turn I received the most lovely, thoughtful gifts from my Secret Quonsar. I'm so looking forward to this year's exchange.
posted by essexjan at 12:59 PM on October 30, 2018 [1 favorite]


Signups are coming! I've paid for massages and manicures for certain hamsters with a mathematical bent, de-duped the notification list [you can still sign up for the list!], and have the MeTa announcement written and ready to go. Wooo. 24 hours and counting!
posted by julen at 9:10 PM on October 30, 2018 [3 favorites]




Fair warning: There are just about 24 hours left in which to sign up.
posted by julen at 9:00 PM on November 8, 2018 [1 favorite]


I will sign up for second chancing in Europe. I owe my SQ from last year for sending my gift twice because I was stuck in hospital and couldn't pick up the parcel during the two week window.
posted by infini at 9:51 AM on November 9, 2018 [1 favorite]


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