His Name Will Be Sung In Valhalla

September 17, 2012 5:56 AM

A positive, happy callout: a few others probably share my opinion on this, but Deezil is a golden god.

I asked him an innocent question about whether my computer issues were due to viruses or a hard drive failure about two weeks ago now, and that started a whole epic and twisty process of having to order a new hard drive, get that reinstalled, and re-load all my software and data.

I am one of those people who only knows enough about computers to get myself into real trouble (I know how to turn things off and on, and I know how to run diagnostics scans, but I do not know how to interpret said scans) and I also get screamingly paranoid and nervous. Deezil patiently walked me step-by-step through the whole process, from "send me the serial number on your computer and I'll find a hard drive that would work for you so you can order it" to "yes, Microsoft can probably switch the version of Outlook for you if you just bought it". He even let me call him to talk through "how the hell do we get McAffee off my computer without it crashing the whole system with it".

And for a lot of this process I was panicked, and at some point I was even panicked and drunk (some friends came over for "moral support" at one point, which consisted of "keep making EC cocktails"). And he took it all in stride. And now I have a nearly-back-the-way-it-was computer (just need to get a local guy to retrieve one single file off the old hard drive for me and I'm done).

Thank you, sir.

posted by EmpressCallipygos to MetaFilter-Related at 5:56 AM (54 comments total)

some friends came over for "moral support" at one point, which consisted of "keep making EC cocktails"

This is, sincerely, the best form of moral support.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:08 AM on September 17, 2012 [14 favorites]

She was drinking sidecars while I was sipping on some Yuengling Light.

It was an honor to help. Thank you for being patient, not freaking out too hard, and for being accepting of direction. You really were a pleasure to work with.
posted by deezil at 6:14 AM on September 17, 2012 [45 favorites]

Deezil is indeed on of the (good handful) of members that make this place more than just a good collection of links to YouTube videos. I've followed the directions in your profile, and they were a lifesaver. Golden god seems about right.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:25 AM on September 17, 2012 [4 favorites]

This is, sincerely, the best form of moral support.

Unless one is an alcoholic, when it would be awkward. This is not my situation, so if anyone wants to give me moral support, I am OK with that.

More seriously, hurrah for EmpressCallipygos's successful restoration, and deezil's stand-up taking-in-stride.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:28 AM on September 17, 2012

You should get him a present. Like a very big stuffed teddy bear. Or a faux chinchilla coat.
posted by discopolo at 6:29 AM on September 17, 2012

She actually is getting me a present. A delicious present. Once she figures out how to mail pickles, I shall be pickle (and dillybean) rich!
posted by deezil at 6:52 AM on September 17, 2012 [3 favorites]

You can't just put them in an envelope?
posted by shakespeherian at 6:55 AM on September 17, 2012

Why not a banjo?
posted by knile at 6:56 AM on September 17, 2012 [13 favorites]

I think it's indicative of being overtired, but I read this and thought, "Man, Deezil's such a good guy."

And then I thought, "Man, I wonder what an EC cocktail is. I wonder if I could make one right now." I've since figured it out, but I still feel that someone should get on that, please, and then let me know what to pick up when I go to the store later.

Also, mailing pickles: Contact your local wine shop or winery and ask if they have shipping boxes for wine bottles. They comfortably fit a half-pint or pint jar (two, if stacked) in each bottle slot. Use bubble wrap, too, just in case. Failing that, small box, bubble wrap, and stuff all the corners with newspaper to steady the jars. I've done jam and pickles like this and have never had a problem with it.
posted by MeghanC at 6:58 AM on September 17, 2012 [5 favorites]

Because a banjo would leak pickle juice all over the mailman.
posted by arcticseal at 7:09 AM on September 17, 2012 [8 favorites]

Holy shit, one callout leads to advice worthy of another callout. I love this place.

And then I thought, "Man, I wonder what an EC cocktail is. I wonder if I could make one right now."

As Deezil says, I was indeed drinking sidecars (that was the evening's cocktail of choice, to take advantage of the fact that I had some home-canned brandied cherries for the garnish). But now I also want to know what an "EmpressCallipygos cocktail" would be.

Maybe something involving peach. For the callipygean element.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:09 AM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

Why not a banjo?

Dear Why Not A Banjo,

Banjos are appropriate gifts if you're a slightly awkward fellow trying to woo a beautiful woman. deezil is a fantastically helpful fellow, and as such, pickles and dillybeans are suitable gifts of gratitude. Now, if he were a zookeeper who helped you to corral your run-away zebras, a nice loaf of banana-nut bread would be the proper thank-you, unless said zookeeper was allergic to nuts. In which case, a comforting hug would be suitable, both as thanks, and as an apology to the poor person who was cursed with an allergy to decent foodstuffs.

Yours in guidance,
filthy light thief
posted by filthy light thief at 7:11 AM on September 17, 2012 [5 favorites]

Where is that banjo thread? That was one for the ages.
posted by dfriedman at 7:13 AM on September 17, 2012

Ha deezil, I used to call my friend dizzle. I thought it was super cool, but he didn't like it and told me to stop :/

So cheers to you :)
posted by victory_laser at 7:15 AM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm going to assume, from the description, that on the phone, he sounds completely like C-3PO.

Of course, now I have to envision the whole computer situation occurring in a working trash compactor.
posted by Atreides at 7:20 AM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

item, I picked the Yuengling Light because I got to drink Yuengling without out it being so heavy and calorie laden, but I shant make the decision again. Yuengling just should not be fucked with.
posted by deezil at 7:22 AM on September 17, 2012

Random aside: For the longest time I thought Yuengling was a Chinese brand.
posted by kmz at 7:27 AM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

OH! EmpressCallipygos, I forgot to tell you about the cocktail you should have made that night. Equal parts Vodka, Green Apple Vodka (or Pucker), Triple Sec, and Sprite. On the rocks in a pint glass. You could sub in Peach Vodka (for the apple or Triple Sec) just fine. It's delicious, but don't stand up after 2 of them.
posted by deezil at 7:28 AM on September 17, 2012 [4 favorites]

Because a banjo would leak pickle juice all over the mailman.

"Dear AskMe, I never believed it could happen to me, but..."
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:43 AM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

Oh yay! Happy things do happen here, after all. Cheers (heh) to deezil and EC, this was nice happy community news on a Monday. Yay for clean computers!
posted by undue influence at 7:56 AM on September 17, 2012

Equal parts Vodka, Green Apple Vodka (or Pucker), Triple Sec, and Sprite. On the rocks in a pint glass.

What is that called? Because it sounds delicious and I'm hoping it has an appropriately spiffy name.

Hurrah on getting your computering back EC and hurrah on being a golden god deezil!
posted by SweetTeaAndABiscuit at 7:59 AM on September 17, 2012

Nice work team, I am happy that went well.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:09 AM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

kmz: "Random aside: For the longest time I thought Yuengling was a Chinese brand"

Which is particularly funny, as it's the oldest brewery in the US!
posted by Grither at 8:13 AM on September 17, 2012

I forgot to tell you about the cocktail you should have made that night....

We didn't have the green apple vodka, but I did have peach schnapps. I wonder if that formula, plus a sliver of peach, could be the EC cocktail after all?

(Although, I'll be downgrading to a rocks glass rather than a pint - I'm a big lightweight, actually.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:37 AM on September 17, 2012

SweetTeaAndBiscuit: I never named it, mostly because I swore one night never to make them again (after drinking an inappropriate amount of them the night before). But I have one (and usually only one), and I don't swear about drinking anymore.
posted by deezil at 9:09 AM on September 17, 2012

And his user number is a heck of a Cribbage hand.
posted by rlk at 9:26 AM on September 17, 2012 [4 favorites]

I'm actually learning the finer points of cribbage now. Seems like an interesting game, I just have fun playing against the computer.
posted by deezil at 9:33 AM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

I also join in to toast deezil's awesomeness after he helped clean up my wife's deeply-malware-infected computer. Should he ever come to San Francisco, mixed drinks of great variety and alcohol content will be bought for him!
posted by jasper411 at 9:44 AM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Cheers! Drinks, all around!
posted by ericb at 9:55 AM on September 17, 2012

Thanks, deezil, for all the knowledge you share on the site and off the site. It's greatly appreciated.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:56 AM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Many thanks to deezil and I think you could call that drink a Leprechaun, after seeing what goes into it!
posted by Lynsey at 9:57 AM on September 17, 2012

deezil...good on you. My son the nerd lives half a continent away, and now and then I need him to link to my computer to try to undo some of the damage I do to it ... I can appreciate the value of your assistance to the semipsuedo-puterliterates among us.

About cribbage; it's best played against mothers-in-law. Fair warning.
posted by mule98J at 10:04 AM on September 17, 2012

Deezil's been there for me too, when my old computer got infested with viruses. It's awesome that he's so ready and willing to spend so much time helping strangers just out of the goodness of his heart.
posted by orange swan at 10:22 AM on September 17, 2012

Equal parts Vodka, Green Apple Vodka (or Pucker), Triple Sec, and Sprite. On the rocks in a pint glass. What is that called?

...I never named it

The Golden God. Obviously.
posted by widdershins at 11:03 AM on September 17, 2012 [9 favorites]

Should he ever come to San Francisco, mixed drinks of great variety and alcohol content will be bought for him!

Hmm. I made a similar offer if he were ever in Brooklyn.

Deezil, I have a feeling you may be able to do some kind of big cross-country grand tour as a result of your handiwork one of these days.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:06 AM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

deezil! I have not forgotten about the Stanley No. 3 which I will be sending as soon as I can find it!
posted by mlis at 11:43 AM on September 17, 2012

I love positive callouts.
posted by roger ackroyd at 11:58 AM on September 17, 2012 [4 favorites]

deezil helped me decrapify my mom's computer a couple Christmases back. He's a rockstar.
posted by phunniemee at 12:15 PM on September 17, 2012

Deezil helped me re-calibrate the starboard sensor array to detect positronium emission signatures!
posted by Mister_A at 12:23 PM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

Deezil once walked across a rug full of legos to defrag a hard drive. barefoot
posted by boo_radley at 12:27 PM on September 17, 2012 [3 favorites]

*an awed hush falls over the crowd*
posted by shakespeherian at 12:32 PM on September 17, 2012

[Cribbage] Seems like an interesting game, I just have fun playing against the computer.

You are missing a lot, like seeing guys who spend their days fixing enormous boat engines trying to manipulate tiny pins with their giant callused hands while saying "One for his nob, and two for his heels."

Wait, what am I saying? You probably have an app that does that.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:28 PM on September 17, 2012

Deezil was awesome when he helped me get rid of a nisty virus, too.
Golden god, indeed!
posted by SLC Mom at 1:51 PM on September 17, 2012

Deezil is not only a golden god, but with his profile, you can be a god to others as well. Both my grandmother and my in-laws think I'm a genuine computer fixer (whether than a poser who used to know more than average) because of solutions found within.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:47 PM on September 17, 2012

This whole thread has filled me with the schmoopy. :) Thanks everyone.
posted by deezil at 3:49 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

So no faux chinchilla coat?
posted by discopolo at 6:39 PM on September 17, 2012

Yes, deezil is most excellent. He may not know it but he's saved my computer before. Thanks!
posted by dazed_one at 12:41 AM on September 18, 2012

An entire trip record of out-of-focus and oddly-positioned photos: the Deezil Cocktail Fueled Tour Records.

It might sell.
posted by mephron at 2:31 AM on September 18, 2012

And, it should go into Projects! Man, IRL is gonna be busy.
posted by undue influence at 8:32 AM on September 18, 2012

I seriously want to do a tour of the US where I'm drunk 7 days a week, sleeping on couches, and taking the in local board of fare. And I'd document the hell out of it. One of these days man. ONE OF THESE DAYS. I'm gonna call upon the Power of Metafilter^TM to help me with such a task.
posted by deezil at 9:35 AM on September 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

mephron, I'm gonna steal that title, but I think it would be better arranged as the Deezil Fueled Cocktail Tour Record.
posted by deezil at 9:36 AM on September 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

Did I mention that in addition to my home bar, there is a fantastic awesome pub where I know the owners just up the street from my apartment? (They also have brunch on the weekends, which deals with the hangover.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:58 AM on September 18, 2012

And there's a place here in Oakland that has bottomless mimosas at brunch. A couple of places, actually. (Good food, too, if that's relevant.)
posted by Lexica at 10:53 AM on September 18, 2012

The hardest part about gifting a faux chinchilla coat is how difficult it is to source faux chinchillas in the wild.
posted by phunniemee at 12:43 PM on September 18, 2012 [1 favorite]