[This is meh] May 1, 2008 12:43 PM   Subscribe

This is crap, and needs deleting.

It's neither news, nor interesting. It's not artistically or aesthetically redeemable. The uninteresting dead dude in question (who died uninterestingly, natch) is a purveyor of what amounts to stolen smut, often presented in a degrading or demeaning way. It's also sexist and totally boyzone.
posted by loquacious to Etiquette/Policy at 12:43 PM (75 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

Don't forget his horrible HTML skills.
posted by unixrat at 12:48 PM on May 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


flagged. moving on.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:49 PM on May 1, 2008


Agreed.
posted by languagehat at 12:54 PM on May 1, 2008


I don't see the sexism, but I do see the total lack of relevance. That said, it poses a question (implicitly) that speaks to an existential dilemma I think we all share: If every moment could be my last, why do I spend hours scouring the net for fake Jessica Alba topless photos? I said, we ALL SHARE THIS DILEMMA, THANK YOU
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:57 PM on May 1, 2008 [3 favorites]


"This is crap, and needs deleting. It's neither news, nor interesting. It's not artistically or aesthetically redeemable."

But, even with all that, you don't think anyone will flag it? Seriously?

Because if you thought people would flag it then it follows the mods would see it and make a call on it. Right?

Or is this here because you think the mods are likely to leave something that is total crap on the front page on purpose?

Or perhaps you think the mods are just idiots who need this stuff explained to them.

Crap is as crap does.
posted by Ragma at 12:57 PM on May 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


agreed, lame, axed.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:58 PM on May 1, 2008


totally boyzone

there are no male celebs?
posted by caddis at 12:59 PM on May 1, 2008


What happened between "this is meh" and "MeTa" to escalate to "crap, needs deleting"? WHAT HAPPENED?
posted by [@I][:+:][@I] at 1:02 PM on May 1, 2008


Man, I missed the whole party.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:05 PM on May 1, 2008


there are no male celebs?

How often do you see male celebs prefaced with the text "(So and so) accidently shows us her minge"?

Seriously, the language used on that site is fucking disgusting, and not in the good sexy-sex talking kind of way. And I like sex. I like it a lot.

Whatever. I really fucking hate being a boy, sometimes. I don't have enough time or energy to even begin apologizing for this kind of crap.
posted by loquacious at 1:05 PM on May 1, 2008


Thanks jessamyn.

Everyone else: This is not a thesis defense. I'm going outside to play. I won't be bickering today.
posted by loquacious at 1:07 PM on May 1, 2008


I was ok on letting it stay, even though it was dumb and a link to a porn site, just because that's the kind of mick I am, then I saw the comics sans and the frames and I had a bad late 90's time-travel panic attack and fell asleep at my desk in self-defense and when I woke up, here we were, safe and sound again. Whew. I am a little worried that there might not be any more nudity on the internet, but I've been stockpiling the Sears catalog against just such an eventuality.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:08 PM on May 1, 2008 [5 favorites]


heh, that's me told then...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:15 PM on May 1, 2008


I have sad story.

A few years ago I interviewed a young guy for a job with us... we needed a Jr. Designer for some graphical production and design help. He was a nice kid who was three years out of school. It was weird that he only had one job on his resume — some internet business I never heard of— and his salary history was pretty high. But he had no real work samples. Only old student stuff. When my wife asked him for more portfolio material he turns beet red.

"I can't show you." he said.

Why? Legal reasons or something? No.

After some talking he sighs. He almost starts crying. Well the first job he got out of school was doing web design for porn sites. And his real money maker, his forte, was doing the fake celeb photo shopping.

'Let's see it!" my wife says. So he plugs in a URL and up comes his "real" portfolio page. And it was over the top shit. Catherine Zeta Jones servicing five "sailors." Rene Zellwegger in a lesbian "squirting" tryst. Animated characters having sex. Star Trek characters having sex.

"You did this for three years?" I ask.

He just nods without making eye contact.
posted by tkchrist at 1:17 PM on May 1, 2008 [29 favorites]


I think the line of thinking re: sexism? (as opposed to SEXISM!!!) is not that there's nothing sexist about the site (for me, I haven't been to the site, because I don't care and because I'm at work, so I have no real idea either way) but that the FPP itself wasn't sexist. It may concern someone who was sexist, but that's not really the same thing.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 1:18 PM on May 1, 2008


And here I thought after the Albert Hoffman thread we hard turned a corner with obit threads.
posted by munchingzombie at 1:22 PM on May 1, 2008


You hired the guy, right, tkchrist?
posted by grouse at 1:23 PM on May 1, 2008 [4 favorites]


Just curious, is the flagging system down?
posted by Durin's Bane at 1:27 PM on May 1, 2008


I have sad story.

That is sad story. Poor guy. I imagine many designers having trouble finding work in monstrous market have considered working for porn company.
posted by shmegegge at 1:29 PM on May 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


Just curious, is the flagging system down?

Why are you commenting here? Flag it and move on.
posted by grouse at 1:30 PM on May 1, 2008


Why are you commenting here? Flag it and move on.

Now that we've entered an infinite regression, this should probably be closed before it consumes the internets.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 1:39 PM on May 1, 2008


We could close the thread.

Or we could have some delicious pie. I vote for pie.
posted by grouse at 1:40 PM on May 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: Eveyone is very bad, and should be ashamed
posted by Artw at 1:41 PM on May 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


Just curious, is the flagging system down?

We're installing the latest patch for Semphoria and there's some dependency crap hinking things up. This is exactly what I was worried about when I advocated not moving away from the old StarznStripesWare install.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:41 PM on May 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


Whatever. I really fucking hate being a boy, sometimes. I don't have enough time or energy to even begin apologizing for this kind of crap.

That's it! You're off the case! Turn in your penis and testicles.
posted by Krrrlson at 1:44 PM on May 1, 2008


You hired the guy, right, tkchrist?

No. Too expensive.
posted by tkchrist at 1:49 PM on May 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


I really fucking hate being a boy, sometimes.

You can get upgrades, but I don't recommend that you do them yourself.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:50 PM on May 1, 2008


unixrat: "Don't forget his horrible HTML skills."

So what you're saying is

<blink.</blikn>
posted by Plutor at 1:51 PM on May 1, 2008 [3 favorites]


Must we delete every oddball post? I'd much rather we let meh posts through just for the sake of keeping things a bit more raw and, y'know, interesting
posted by cillit bang at 1:57 PM on May 1, 2008


But it's got boobies! And no pretense of artistic intent!
posted by Artw at 2:04 PM on May 1, 2008


So now who is going to fill out the minimum daily quota of 'News of the Weird' FPPs?
posted by xod at 2:05 PM on May 1, 2008


My girlfriend was angry when I widened the holes on the french press for her. But she got pissed when I told her I just liked my coffee a bit more raw and, y'know, interesting.
posted by carsonb at 2:05 PM on May 1, 2008


Well, it's ten-second loop of a cat falling asleep.

OH WAIT THAT WAS CRAP TOO!

Sorry.
posted by klangklangston at 2:06 PM on May 1, 2008


It's NO ten-second loop of a cat falling asleep, I meant. Before I had an attack of the FAILS.
posted by klangklangston at 2:07 PM on May 1, 2008


We're installing the latest patch

Man, I don't know what you did, but it's great. I just flagged everything on the internet with one touch of the mouse!

*waits for the Big Admin to take action*
posted by languagehat at 2:07 PM on May 1, 2008


You have a girlfriend, Carson? That must be why you never make it to the meet-ups.
posted by klangklangston at 2:08 PM on May 1, 2008


She's scared of you internet people.
posted by carsonb at 2:08 PM on May 1, 2008


Plus it twinkled.
posted by xod at 2:08 PM on May 1, 2008


But we play four-square!
posted by klangklangston at 2:09 PM on May 1, 2008


This sends a bad precedent for the next time an internet pornographer dies unexpectedly. There are so few of them, and they generally die in a predicatable, well-scheduled fashion, generally at the rate of one ever eight months, like clockwork, generally from side-effects of carpal tunnel syndrome. But if one were to die tomorrow, out of sequence, after falling from a helicopted while attempting to snap a picture of Cameron Diaz's cleavage, only to tumble into a Real Doll factory and get suffocated under a stack of silicon breasts ... well, I just don't know if I would be comfortable linking to that story now.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:12 PM on May 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'll make sure I incorporate such an awesome fact into my persuasion before the next meet-up. One thinks the MoJT woulda been enough, but no.
posted by carsonb at 2:15 PM on May 1, 2008


...and the "DC Madam" has just been found dead.
posted by Artw at 2:45 PM on May 1, 2008


My. God. /voce Chuck Heston
posted by xod at 2:50 PM on May 1, 2008


I don't have enough time or energy to even begin apologizing for this kind of crap.

Hopefully you don't participate in it yourself, so that you have nothing to apologize for.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:02 PM on May 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


"the FPP itself wasn't sexist. It may concern someone who was sexist, but that's not really the same thing."

No, no. I think we ought to axe every story that concerns, contains, or in any way relates to people who happen to be racist, sexist, or are prejudiced in any way, especially if it offends some hyper-sensitive, self-loathing twit.

Good call, loquacious.
posted by toomuchpete at 3:03 PM on May 1, 2008


Does we embarrass you irl, carsonb? You know you're one of us, don't deny it. Give in. Take the ball in hand. Step into the squares.
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 3:07 PM on May 1, 2008


STEP UP 4 THA SQUARE!

Seriously, probably in three weeks I'll have another foursquare battle. Not this weekend, because that's too soon (though if folks are up for it, shoot me an email), and the weekend after that my girlfriend is going to her cousin's not-wedding, but then the weekend after that I think will work well.
posted by klangklangston at 3:19 PM on May 1, 2008


...and the "DC Madam" has just been found dead.

Of .... 8220;suicide.8221;
posted by tkchrist at 3:38 PM on May 1, 2008


Cripes, I can't type. Do we embarrass, not does we.
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 3:44 PM on May 1, 2008


Must we delete every oddball post?

We must, we must.

(And by we, I mean the mods.)
posted by Dave Faris at 3:44 PM on May 1, 2008


Oh hay you should totally ignore the late notice and drive the hour up here to break in my capacious driveway with chalk for my housewarming party this saturday. Fish tacos. Pakoras. A keg? I am thinking yes, a keg. I have fully slacked on contacting socal mefites, but a foursquarier driveway was never poured, and you know I need the practice.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:50 PM on May 1, 2008


But you hate everything.
posted by Artw at 3:50 PM on May 1, 2008


(that was to klang, but whoever else is feeling it is welcome. We're talking Ventura, CA here.)
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:51 PM on May 1, 2008


...and the "DC Madam" has just been found dead.

Running prostitutes for powerful people can apparently cause a serious bout of depression.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:05 PM on May 1, 2008


"Cripes, I can't type. Do we embarrass, not does we."

I simply imagined you with a chippy Cockney accent for that comment. I may have even subconsciously appended "Guv'na" to it.
posted by klangklangston at 4:06 PM on May 1, 2008


"(that was to klang, but whoever else is feeling it is welcome. We're talking Ventura, CA here.)"

Man, I don't even know where that is. Isn't it one of the cities in GTA:SA?
posted by klangklangston at 4:07 PM on May 1, 2008


Running prostitutes for powerful people can apparently cause a serious bout of depression.

You don't think that just maybe it could be the whole pending jail sentence rather than arranging consensual trysts between adults?
posted by Justinian at 4:14 PM on May 1, 2008


Not really, considering she'd made the claim multiply times that she'd be murdered and it would look like a suicide.
posted by puke & cry at 4:28 PM on May 1, 2008


multiple. fuck.
posted by puke & cry at 4:28 PM on May 1, 2008


Considering it was a five year sentence, I'll presume they don't send you to the worst prisons for prostitution, those around her said she wasn't suicidal, and she previously implied that she wasn't going to kill herself, I don't think it's all that implausible that someone in DC made a call.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 4:30 PM on May 1, 2008


Pie. Pie and foursquare. Now yer talkin' -- only it has to be apple pie with a slice of cheese melted on top, and you have to use the regulation red rubber foursquare ball.
posted by FelliniBlank at 4:36 PM on May 1, 2008


The uninteresting dead dude in question (who died uninterestingly, natch) is a purveyor of what amounts to stolen smut, often presented in a degrading or demeaning way.

Porn purveyors are people too, pal.

(sorry)
posted by jonmc at 4:37 PM on May 1, 2008


grouse: Or we could have some delicious pie. I vote for pie.

My husband ate the last piece of Key Lime pie last night, because I told him he could. Now I want pie and I have none. *cries*

I guess a pie in the hand is worth two in the...

Say, how 'bout them NHL Playoffs? Ooh, hockey pucks, reminds me of this off-color but somewhat funny video with a hockey puck in it. [NSFW]

Cuz we could all use a laugh right about now.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 4:53 PM on May 1, 2008


(For the record, as a dedicated porn buff, I found robb's celebs kind of mediocre although I'm sorry the poor guy is dead. If Abby Winters or the ishotmyself (both NSFW, duh) people croaked, now that would be a loss.)
posted by jonmc at 4:58 PM on May 1, 2008


fapped. moving on
posted by fire&wings at 5:25 PM on May 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


You don't think that just maybe it could be the whole pending jail sentence rather than arranging consensual trysts between adults?

No, I think it's pretty obvious at this point that our government is run by gangsters, for gangsters, who don't hesitate much to push buttons on people who are "liabilities".
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:40 PM on May 1, 2008


Wow, the news coverage on the suicide is ... pretty interesting.

A bunch of places give this quote "I sure as heck am not going to be going to federal prison for one day, let alone, you know, four to eight years" as support for her being suicidal when the full quote is "I am sure as heck am not going to be going to federal prison for one day, let alone, you know, four to eight years here, because I'm shy about bringing in the deputy secretary of whatever. Not for a second. I'll bring every last one of them in if necessary."

There's this "She wasn't going to jail, she told me that very clearly. She told me she would commit suicide" from some writer guy but also the recording from her last year saying she would not kill herself (and guess which one's on CNN) along with the quote about her being made of sterner stuff than the other prostitute who killed herself.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 9:21 PM on May 1, 2008


That writer is also too sleazy for Hustler Magazine to deal with. To this conspiracy, he'd be the Tom Grant.
posted by klangklangston at 9:28 PM on May 1, 2008


Huh. The AP headline writer might have put the "quotation marks" around the wrong bit. Instead of

Police: 'D.C. madam' kills herself in Fla. coastal town

maybe it should be

Police: D.C. madam 'kills herself' in Fla. coastal town.
posted by taz at 2:44 AM on May 2, 2008


Everyone else: This is not a thesis defense. I'm going outside to play. I won't be bickering today.

Weak. You care enough to post in MetaTalk, the home of the shut-in, and then crow about going outside.
posted by smackfu at 6:12 AM on May 2, 2008


I've yet to see a major news source even suggest that the DC Madam was murdered. Creeeeepy.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:23 AM on May 2, 2008


I wouldn't be shocked if someone powerful had her whacked, but this really does just look sad. Keeping this a crime because it disturbs someones morality is worse than the crime itself. Those so called moral folk who support anti-prostitution laws just killed that poor woman. It's OK though as they will sleep like babies, wallowing in the moral superiority.
posted by caddis at 6:56 AM on May 2, 2008


But it's got boobies! And no pretense of artistic intent!

Boobies depicted with artistic intent.
posted by quin at 7:25 AM on May 2, 2008


Weak. You care enough to post in MetaTalk, the home of the shut-in, and then crow about going outside.

What? Sorry, I couldn't hear you. Too busy basking in the sun.
posted by loquacious at 5:47 PM on May 2, 2008


If loquacious happens to hang himself in the shed tomorrow, let it be known that MetaTalk had nothing at all to do with it, definitely did not send ninjas in the night to punish him for speaking about "the outside" or prevent him revealing any more than he already has. 'Kay?
posted by taz at 12:03 AM on May 3, 2008


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