that thing.

June 29, 2007 3:42 PM

Hay i herd u liek iphones.
posted by boo_radley to MetaFilter-Related at 3:42 PM (129 comments total)

own up. who's got 'em?
posted by boo_radley at 3:42 PM on June 29, 2007

Your mom?
posted by eyeballkid at 3:44 PM on June 29, 2007

?
posted by niles at 3:45 PM on June 29, 2007

oh fuck.
posted by puke & cry at 3:45 PM on June 29, 2007

oh...iPhones.

I thought you, liek, spelled that wrong too.
posted by niles at 3:46 PM on June 29, 2007

R They liekable?
posted by chillmost at 3:54 PM on June 29, 2007

I tried to rob one off of Steven Levy. Didn't go so well.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:01 PM on June 29, 2007 [3 favorites]

I don't even have a regular phone.
posted by infinitywaltz at 4:04 PM on June 29, 2007

Yes,ihone users, post your name and where you'll be between 8pm and 8:30pm tonight. The member closes to my location gets a "special" "surprise."
posted by lekvar at 4:04 PM on June 29, 2007 [2 favorites]

Woz is waiting in line for an iphone.
posted by vacapinta at 4:06 PM on June 29, 2007

I'm in it right now. On it! On it! I'm not suggesting that I'm fucking my new gadget. No way.
posted by ColdChef at 4:06 PM on June 29, 2007

Is this something you would need to have an STD to know about?
posted by blue_beetle at 4:06 PM on June 29, 2007

hay u hurd rong.

*Hangs up*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:06 PM on June 29, 2007

Click on the bouncing mathowie to win an iphone!
posted by Eideteker at 4:08 PM on June 29, 2007 [6 favorites]

I didn't realize Woz was the mayor of Philadelphia.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:08 PM on June 29, 2007

I *had* an iPhone, but I was walking my dog across Hampstead Heath at 3.00am last night, and this young skinhead asked if he could borrow it while he called his parents.

The next thing I knew, I'd tripped over and accidentally landed in a position between two gentlemen that the police tell me is commonly referred to as a 'spit roast'.

When the arresting officers prized us apart, the skinhead and my iPhone had both disappeared.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:11 PM on June 29, 2007 [6 favorites]

Hay i herd u liek iphones.

Why don't you call them on it?
posted by jonmc at 4:24 PM on June 29, 2007

Like we'd talk to non iPhone people.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:31 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

What's an iphone?
posted by dersins at 4:34 PM on June 29, 2007

it's what you call iSex lines on.
posted by jonmc at 4:43 PM on June 29, 2007

iSee.
posted by dersins at 4:44 PM on June 29, 2007

iNdeed.
posted by jonmc at 4:49 PM on June 29, 2007

Don't mind me i'm a bit iNebriated.
posted by jonmc at 4:50 PM on June 29, 2007

My friend was #5 in line in New Hampshire and I got to go in with him in the big iphone push The best part was that they had samples in the store that you could make phone calls from! I called mathowie, but he wasn't home. I didn't get one.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:54 PM on June 29, 2007

Oh crap, idropped it.
posted by RMD at 4:55 PM on June 29, 2007

I wore my I [heart] nerds t-shirt, seemed to go over well.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:58 PM on June 29, 2007

i, i, i....
posted by jonmc at 5:00 PM on June 29, 2007

iphones? i luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuv iphones! and mudkipz
posted by kdar at 5:01 PM on June 29, 2007

I just don't get this, I guess. I don't understand someone getting rid of their Razr because everyone else has one, and I don't get the fanboy shit about Apple, whether it be iPod, iPhone or iMac. I mean, I use a Mac, but I don't want to rub my balls on it or anything.
And sure, you wanna identify with a tribe, or whatever, but Christ, can't you see how fucking lame that is? Shit like the lines over iPhones makes me want to become a Bolshevik.
posted by klangklangston at 5:02 PM on June 29, 2007 [12 favorites]

"i, i, i...."

...want the knife.

(Eddie Murphy references, those I understand.)
posted by klangklangston at 5:06 PM on June 29, 2007 [2 favorites]

I use a Mac, but I don't want to rub my balls on it or anything.

You're doing it wrong then.
posted by puke & cry at 5:11 PM on June 29, 2007 [4 favorites]

make.it.stop.
posted by ninjew at 5:15 PM on June 29, 2007

(Eddie Murphy references, those I understand.)

I was thinking Desi Arnaz, but I'll make allowances for you young'uns.
posted by jonmc at 5:17 PM on June 29, 2007

Oh, c'mon, Golden Child! Murphy's great action/mysticism/comedy tour-de-force!
posted by klangklangston at 5:21 PM on June 29, 2007

Hey, c'mon, dude, even Eddie felt compelled to imitate Desi in Delirious, "Hey, Fred, How would you like to...{deleted in the name of decency and sanity]
posted by jonmc at 5:25 PM on June 29, 2007

I mean, I use a Mac, but I don't want to rub my balls on it or anything.

Admit it, you got turned down.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:38 PM on June 29, 2007

One can only conclude that George W. Bush has been an excellent steward of this nation's economy, judging by all the people standing in line nervously anticipating their chance to drop $500 on a shiny telephone, the primary selling point of which is that it has fewer buttons than other phones.

I also note that two of the phone's selling points, YouTube, and the maps, are provided by Google.
posted by Pastabagel at 5:50 PM on June 29, 2007

Holy crap, did you just quote the Golden Child?

I don't know if I should respect that or be really disappointed.

And now that I think about it, I could say the same thing for myself, in that I was able to identify it.
posted by quin at 5:53 PM on June 29, 2007

I stood in line at the apple store at the domain in austin at 7:15pm tonight and 10 minutes later left the store with one.

I want to have sex with it but it will void the applecare
posted by birdherder at 6:25 PM on June 29, 2007

but I don't want to rub my balls on it or anything.

How in the fuck do you clean the damn screen, then?
posted by docpops at 6:29 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Sardo Numsy would be an excellent sock puppet name.
posted by Eideteker at 6:30 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

.

I miss miguel
posted by caddis at 6:36 PM on June 29, 2007

MeFi was the first site I went to on my new iPhone. Twas teh sexy
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 6:41 PM on June 29, 2007

I really didn't want to like it.

Curses.
posted by FlamingBore at 6:43 PM on June 29, 2007

I love the image created by this quote from here:
------------
Even Steve Wozniak, the ex-partner of Apple CEO Steve Jobs, showed up at a Silicon Valley mall at 4 a.m. aboard his Segway scooter. He helped keep order in the line outside the Apple store.

The other customers awarded the honorary first spot in line to Wozniak, who planned to buy two iPhones Friday even though he remains an Apple employee and will get a free one from the company next month. He said the device would redefine cell phone design and use.
------------
Move back everyone!!!! Woz has a Segway!!!!
posted by The Deej at 7:04 PM on June 29, 2007

Click on the bouncing mathowie to win an iphone!
posted by Eideteker

Ha!!! MetaFilter Timeout Playroom! Now that's the funniest thing I have seen since... the last funny thing I saw.
posted by The Deej at 7:08 PM on June 29, 2007

Zip it, TD, Matt is watching.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:12 PM on June 29, 2007

La laaaa... :: ahem ::

Just sittin' here, sir. No, no I don't want a time out. Not curious about the playroom at all, sir, I'm happy right here.

Nice, helmet, though, bikeboy.
posted by The Deej at 7:15 PM on June 29, 2007

Heh, I just saw a story on the news that I have to relate. Apparently, a woman here in north texas had the bright idea that she would show up at a store and buy $100,000 worth of iphones then sell them all on ebay. So she shows up 15 minutes before opening and tells the first guy in line that she'll give him $1,600 for his spot. He accepts, of course. So she's the first person in the story and plans on buying them out. Unfortunately, she didn't know that they're only selling them one per customer. So she leaves with only one iphone and the guy she paid off got one for free. You wouldn't believe how pissed she was.
posted by puke & cry at 7:57 PM on June 29, 2007 [8 favorites]

Actually, the Deej's comment gives me an image. I think it'd be really cool if the Segway had revolutionized personal transportation the way the iPhone is supposed to revolutionize, uh...I'll come back to that one...but anyway, it'd be a pretty awesome sight to see: every waffle-stomping person on that line waiting for an iPhone on a Segway. Boy, it'd be twice as long, but a whole lot more revolutionary.
posted by invitapriore at 8:00 PM on June 29, 2007

ihear that #1 has been secretly using an iphone for like, weeks...
posted by RMD at 8:00 PM on June 29, 2007

ihear that #1 has been secretly using an iphone for like, weeks...

iPhone: So easy, the President can use it!

(I know you meant Jobs.)
posted by invitapriore at 8:07 PM on June 29, 2007

The Segway thing is kind of ironic. Much-hyped, little implemented Segway being ridden to get a much-hyped, probably hugely implemented phone.

But Woz has always been a practial joker.
posted by The Deej at 8:08 PM on June 29, 2007

Great story, puke and cry!!!
posted by The Deej at 8:08 PM on June 29, 2007

geeks.
posted by Stynxno at 8:22 PM on June 29, 2007

Hahahahah, that's funny.

I'm posting this from the Apple Store on 5th Avenue in NYC. Didn't come to buy an iPhone; just came to see all the excitement. As of right now, 11:21 p.m. ET, people are still buying and walking out with iPhones, so this store must have gotten a HUGE shipment. There are about 8 employees standing outside, and they cheer whenever anyone walks in and out of the store.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:22 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

iFap
posted by quonsar at 8:24 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

(I know you meant Jobs.)

Actually, he meant mathowie. Ya know, #1.
posted by puke & cry at 8:26 PM on June 29, 2007

(I know you meant Jobs.)

I think he meant mathowie
posted by shinynewnick at 8:26 PM on June 29, 2007

the great thing about all the people buying iPhones is that, for the first time at the 5th Avenue store, I walked up and there are a ton of computers around for me to use to flex my "i'm not gonna get one" muscle.

do you feel that? oh yeah.
posted by Stynxno at 8:26 PM on June 29, 2007

Damn you, puke & cry. Damn you.
posted by shinynewnick at 8:26 PM on June 29, 2007

::faints::
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:27 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Even Steve Wozniak, the ex-partner of Apple CEO Steve Jobs, showed up at a Silicon Valley mall at 4 a.m. aboard his Segway scooter.

Well, now I really hate the iPhone.

There are about 8 employees standing outside, and they cheer whenever anyone walks in and out of the store.

Oh, there's an even lower circle of Hell.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:28 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

My iPhone lets me use my words.
posted by vronsky at 8:32 PM on June 29, 2007

what's the big deal? ... i've been wearing iglasses for over 40 years
posted by pyramid termite at 9:00 PM on June 29, 2007

After Woz showed up in the thread about him, I thought I understood the buzz about him. But after seeing the photo of him showing up 2 hours early to wait in line, I totally GET it now.

I wish I got an iPhone, though.
posted by Iamtherealme at 9:14 PM on June 29, 2007

iPhone? Please, the web is like sludge on that. HTC Titan all the way - 1Mbps EVDO, full youtube and slingbox access, and wifi for when I want to leech. Oh, and $30/month for unlimited data and texts. With the money I save, I will invest in a HYS account so that when the iPhone v4 comes out (you know, the one that isn't actually compromised crap) I can buy two of them.
posted by meehawl at 9:27 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

"They are just better". Mac owners often sneer that kind of defence back at you when you mock their silly, posturing contraptions, because in doing so, you have inadvertently put your finger on the dark fear haunting their feeble, quivering soul - that in some sense, they are a superficial semi-person assembled from packaging; an infinitely sad, second-rate replicant who doesn't really know what they are doing here, but feels vaguely significant and creative each time they gaze at their sleek designer machine.
posted by meehawl at 9:31 PM on June 29, 2007 [5 favorites]

i just got a nokia n95 phone. what kinda cool stuff can i do with it? [more inside]
posted by k7lim to technology at 9:57 PM

Trade it in on an iPhone?
posted by The Deej at 10:53 PM on June 29, 2007

Mr. Jobs, Open This iPhone!
posted by homunculus at 10:55 PM on June 29, 2007

The video of the story in puke &cry's comment. Hilarious. HILARIOUS.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:56 PM on June 29, 2007 [5 favorites]

Thanks, TPS! Wow! It's a modern parable on the cost of greed.
posted by The Deej at 11:25 PM on June 29, 2007

Is it true that the battery is not replaceable and that it will last about 2 years and then the iPhone will need to be sent in to factory repair?
posted by Cranberry at 11:41 PM on June 29, 2007

People with no lives, and speculators who paid others to stand in line for them.

Way more than that. The wait to get in the building at the downtown Chicago store around 7:30 local time was all of one minute. Once inside, one could, if one were so inclined, have bought an iPhone and been done with the whole thing in less than ten minutes.

And many, many people were doing just that.
posted by sparkletone at 12:44 AM on June 30, 2007

Seriously guys, I think Apple had several million made for the first week or two of sales. There won't be any markup buying them on eBay. There'll probably be a surge of them on the grey market when the Apple employees (who may have already bought iPhones) get their free ones.

I'll likely buy one in the next week or two if I can get on a freind's family plan. $30 per month is affordable enough for me.
posted by blasdelf at 12:54 AM on June 30, 2007

My local AT&T store got 40. Sold them all out in about two hours. We walked in at 7:30, no line. Bought the last one- an 8 gig (not for me, for a friend). We played with it for about an hour and couldn't have been happier.

Until my friend's mom called us for tech support on her new iPod Nano. We spent over an hour on the iPhone trying to talk her through transferring all her "Elvis" music over to the Nano. After much screaming and repetition "HOLD DOWN THE SHIFT KEY AT THE SAME TIME!", we were totally gadgeted out.

Still, it's a cool looking phone.
posted by ColdChef at 5:18 AM on June 30, 2007

ThePinkSuperhero writes 'The video of the story in puke &cry's comment. Hilarious. HILARIOUS.'

Oh, that was just glorious.
posted by jack_mo at 6:05 AM on June 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

Okay, more than 12 hours of using the phone and I'm starting to find the things I don't like about it.

My hope is that within the next 13 days I'll find enough of them that I can return it and feel like my gadget lust has been sated.

woot.
posted by FlamingBore at 6:35 AM on June 30, 2007

The Segway thing is kind of ironic. Much-hyped, little implemented Segway being ridden to get a much-hyped, probably hugely implemented phone.

I saw Dean Kamen at the Stoughton, MA IKEA on a Segway. I was not surprised to later learn that he is not married.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:43 AM on June 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

I like turtles.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:48 AM on June 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

"They are just better".

Ironically, that text is too small to read in Safari.
posted by smackfu at 6:59 AM on June 30, 2007

Liveleak yesterday, iaids
posted by acro at 7:23 AM on June 30, 2007

Is it true that the battery is not replaceable and that it will last about 2 years and then the iPhone will need to be sent in to factory repair?

It looks like Apple felt the iPod battery was too easy to replace. In the iPhone it's soldered to the logic board.
posted by Olli at 7:47 AM on June 30, 2007

Why steal an iPhone when you can steal a M-iCrophone?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:35 AM on June 30, 2007

I have one.

We mock what we don't understand.
posted by bingo at 8:43 AM on June 30, 2007

Olli writes "It looks like Apple felt the iPod battery was too easy to replace. In the iPhone it's soldered to the logic board"

Probably for increased reliablitity and smaller packaging. A connector for a battery going to be bulkier than a couple solder pads.
posted by Mitheral at 8:43 AM on June 30, 2007

Stephen Levy stands there ignored, promoting the latest advance in ignoring your surroundings, while the reporter chats with the people only she can hear; ironic?
posted by acro at 8:51 AM on June 30, 2007

mathowie's iPhone arrived borked.
posted by timeistight at 9:13 AM on June 30, 2007

he should have put subtitles in it saying that the thing is fucked, otherwise it's really easy to embed that video in other site to make mac users look real bad.

Nothing personal, but No. 1 doesn't look very number-onesque in it (if you don't know what it's about.)
posted by micayetoca at 9:18 AM on June 30, 2007

I really liked the Chaplin-esque expressions. Four stars!!!
posted by The Deej at 9:18 AM on June 30, 2007

Nah, micayetoca, Matt is a total wuss. And you can tell him I said so.
posted by The Deej at 9:21 AM on June 30, 2007

Watching it again, I want to see Matt do "man in a box" or "walking against the wind."
posted by The Deej at 9:22 AM on June 30, 2007

I like M3100...
posted by chuckdarwin at 9:42 AM on June 30, 2007

Awwwww, poor mathowie.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:49 AM on June 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

It's like that story where the sun only comes out once every seven years, and there's the one girl who really really really wants to see it, and then, right before it comes out, all the other kids lock her in the closet.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:49 AM on June 30, 2007 [3 favorites]

Now we know why Matt hasn't been around. He has been spending hours messing with the iPhone, thinking he was doing something wrong.
posted by The Deej at 10:06 AM on June 30, 2007

There are about 8 employees standing outside, and they cheer whenever anyone walks in and out of the store.

Does anyone have video of that?
posted by Chuckles at 10:56 AM on June 30, 2007

How cute. Matt looks like a monkey just pawing at that thing.
posted by sourwookie at 11:45 AM on June 30, 2007 [2 favorites]

Some days I am really glad I'm poor.
posted by Methylviolet at 11:58 AM on June 30, 2007

sourwookie, that is so funny it brought me to tears. Now if I could just find the Zoolander scene where they are trying to get "in the computer" for comparison.
posted by The Deej at 12:07 PM on June 30, 2007

Does anyone have video of that?

Gothamist has pictures.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:16 PM on June 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

No surprise that cortex has the premium comment, "iPwned, sir?"
posted by Cranberry at 12:30 PM on June 30, 2007

There are about 8 employees standing outside, and they cheer whenever anyone walks in and out of the store. Does anyone have video of that?

Yes -- from NBC Nightly News last evening.
posted by ericb at 12:50 PM on June 30, 2007

I thought prices on eBay would have crashed by now, but there are still plenty that look like they'll sell for $750 on up even though (as of posting this), every Apple store in the country still has stock. Given the estimated 50% margins apple is getting on these things, their revenue and profit picture would still be better if they built almost 2x the iPhones they needed, rather than coming up short.

I decided last night not to speculate by buying iPhones to sell on eBay. Instead I spent $40 and a few hours buying a few speculative domain names and writing some content for them.
posted by Good Brain at 1:23 PM on June 30, 2007

Borked iPhone: Extended Dramatic Version
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:20 PM on June 30, 2007 [2 favorites]

Alvy... even though I knew that's where you were going...

HYS

TER

I

CAL!!!
posted by The Deej at 2:44 PM on June 30, 2007

Anyone want to sell a CDMA phone they no longer need, having achieved enlightenment? My email is in my profile and my cellphone is all smashed to hell.
posted by anthill at 2:51 PM on June 30, 2007

yeah, I was thinking that Matt's video needed music.
posted by theora55 at 4:44 PM on June 30, 2007

An animated GIF of mathowie uselessly swiping at his iPhone would really make my day.
posted by sparkletone at 5:30 PM on June 30, 2007

Ironically, that text is too small to read in Safari.

Never mistake malice for incompetence.
posted by meehawl at 5:40 PM on June 30, 2007

Never mistake cabbage for bok choy.

(redeemed!)
posted by The Deej at 5:44 PM on June 30, 2007

I resisted the iPod for 5 generations until the need for an MP3 player became so great I bought the 5.5 generation video iPod earlier this year. Having read up on the previous iPods, I'm incredibly happy that I was able to resist my tech-lust for this long, as it seems that the 5.5 iPod was the iPod to get.

The iPhone dosen't come out down here in Australia until sometime in 2008. In February 2008, my current contract with my current phone finishes and I had been considering buying an iPhone as my new phone. But as cool as Wi-Fi, a touch screen and... um... well let's face it, nothing else, would be, I'm not going to get one. Now that the iPhone is out and the truth is seeping out onto the web about all its drawbacks, spectacularly bypassing the APPLE INC marketing machine, there's simply too many drawbacks compared to pros for me to want one.

I'll probably get me a Blackberry or a Palm Treo when my current contract ends (I can claim this on tax for my work). And I'll keep holding out until some future version of the iPhone that isn't crap comes out.
posted by Effigy2000 at 6:10 PM on June 30, 2007

The Helio Ocean looks pretty darn neat. to make up for the iphone's zero keypads, it has two, which is... sexier.
posted by boo_radley at 6:24 PM on June 30, 2007

I've had a phone for over 2 years now that has a couple gigs of media on it, and I've found it really useful. And I paid about half of what the iPhone is going for. And I can move my media on/off the phone from/to any computer I want.

Brand loyalty is an amazing thing.
posted by allkindsoftime at 7:23 PM on June 30, 2007

How cute. Matt looks like a monkey just pawing at that thing.

The part where Matt taps the phone (10 seconds in) reminds me of Owen Wilson beating on that iMac in Zoolander.

"They're in the computer?"
posted by blueberry at 10:14 PM on June 30, 2007

Just caved in and got mine.
I love it so.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 10:54 PM on June 30, 2007

Criticizing Apple out of a mix of spite and hipsterism is an amazing thing.

Their consumer electronics are popular. Have you considered that they are popular for a reason outside of herd mentality? Or at least that the millions of people to initially join the herd had valid reasons? They make fantastic software.

Feel free to fiddle with your Winamp/XMMS, your just-so folder structure full of willfully untagged audio, and your Windows Active Direct .NET Live Mobile Edition 2007 Professional cell phone.

I agree that the first-gen iPhone has some issues — it seems that AT&T fixed EDGE, but the lack of tethering sucks balls. The first iPhone will be the worst iPhone, all future ones will be better. I think that is a pretty awesome baseline to set.
posted by blasdelf at 11:12 PM on June 30, 2007

"Let's not lose our cool - then we're no better than the machine."
posted by niles at 11:45 PM on June 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

Thank you niles, that is exactly the clip I was fruitlessly looking for on youtube.
posted by blueberry at 12:00 AM on July 1, 2007

yeah, I was thinking that Matt's video needed music.

Then you might like this. Sorry.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:47 AM on July 1, 2007 [3 favorites]

Heh.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:57 AM on July 1, 2007

Oh my jessamyn, that's lol funny. And thanks for the "something extra" for those of us who remained in our seats through the credits.
posted by The Deej at 8:15 AM on July 1, 2007

There is lots of awesomeness in that video jessamyn.
posted by quin at 9:12 AM on July 1, 2007

Magnifique. And what The Deej said about the value of waiting through the credits.
posted by languagehat at 9:59 AM on July 1, 2007

Have you considered that they are popular for a reason outside of herd mentality?

AOL.
posted by meehawl at 2:02 PM on July 1, 2007

I never got the"herd mentality" dig. I mean, Apple has what, 10% of the computer market?

seems to me the herd prefers microsoft.
posted by vronsky at 2:14 PM on July 1, 2007

Apple Evolution
posted by vronsky at 10:06 PM on July 1, 2007

I am so sorry I don't have cool video editing toolz (or skillz) because I would mix up Matt's iPhone vid with this scene from "Heroes"... specifically what Sylar does starting at :50.

Sylar's finger vs. Matt's finger. Which is more powerful? (Stupid question)
posted by wendell at 10:03 AM on July 2, 2007

Sylar's finger vs. Matt's finger. Which is more powerful? (Stupid question)

Stupid indeed.

Sylar's finger can't ban me.
posted by dersins at 10:14 AM on July 2, 2007