Oh, not again! It gets worse every time he doesn't show!

June 18, 2007 3:26 AM

Is there any chance that we can manage to behave ourselves for the benefit of Miguel's friend? Is that asking too much?
posted by Smart Dalek to MetaFilter-Related at 3:26 AM (121 comments total)

Well that was quick.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 3:32 AM on June 18, 2007

And if anyone has to ask, a dear, devoted mom is always a son's best friend. At least, that's what the greeting card said...
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:33 AM on June 18, 2007

I don't get it... is this just "Hey, everyone, look! MC has posted an askme!"

Are you calling someone out? Trying to drive traffic to the thread? Preemptively calling out potentially non-ideal responses yet to be posted?
posted by Meatbomb at 3:48 AM on June 18, 2007

Or we are seeing the aftermath of a big clean up....
posted by gomichild at 3:51 AM on June 18, 2007

I am definitely missing something.
posted by sneakin at 3:57 AM on June 18, 2007

What?
posted by OmieWise at 4:10 AM on June 18, 2007

Yeah, seriously. What?
posted by sveskemus at 4:50 AM on June 18, 2007

Smart Dalek should be more clear about what exactly the problem is. For the benefit of my Mom's favorite son.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 4:52 AM on June 18, 2007

I wonder what handle Miguel's "friend" will choose.
posted by Dave Faris at 5:07 AM on June 18, 2007

Heh Dave, that old thing. I can't even remember what the other handle was.
posted by Catfry at 5:32 AM on June 18, 2007

Carlos Quevedo?
posted by soundofsuburbia at 6:00 AM on June 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

Huh?
posted by Bugbread at 6:12 AM on June 18, 2007

Has that thread already been cleaned up or are we all missing something? We're lost here.
posted by yeti at 6:13 AM on June 18, 2007

But, to answer Smart Dalek's questions based on the minimal information he's provided:

Yes, we can manage to behave ourselves.
No, that's not too much.

Still, if you wanted to know those answers, wouldn't it have been easier to just keep an eye on the AskMe and see how it develops, instead of polling us for our opinions on whether or not we're able to behave ourselves?
posted by Bugbread at 6:13 AM on June 18, 2007

Excellent SOS! Now to reminisce...
posted by Catfry at 6:15 AM on June 18, 2007

I hope this is not going to be one of those self-fulfilling prophecies....
posted by gomichild at 6:22 AM on June 18, 2007

USE YOUR WORDS, what do you want?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:29 AM on June 18, 2007 [23 favorites]

This thread is messing with my mind.
posted by orange swan at 6:36 AM on June 18, 2007

Close the thread! CLOSE IT QUICK! Before the crazy leaks out!
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 7:18 AM on June 18, 2007

jessamyn sounds like she's had experience with pre-schoolers.
posted by chuckdarwin at 7:18 AM on June 18, 2007

jessamyn: that's the exact phrase I use with my 18mo old. Are you around kids much?

smart dalek: here's a tip for you. do this, then this.
posted by boo_radley at 7:20 AM on June 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

Preemptive callout?
Performance art?
Performance anxiety?
posted by blue_beetle at 7:23 AM on June 18, 2007

I'm guessing that the question actually is, "I'm thinking of suggesting that Miguel get his Ma a Mefi Account, but I am concerned that she will be offput by the intermittent baboon-house quality of the site. Do you think we could all agree to keep the ass-waggery and tooth-baring to a minimum for her sake?"

And the answer to that question is, "Friend, there are over 50,000 baboons here. What do you think?"
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 7:27 AM on June 18, 2007 [4 favorites]

Cryptic Metatalk threads chafe my goddamned scrote.

And there's not too much left of that thing other shoe leather, charcoal and good intentions already.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:28 AM on June 18, 2007 [2 favorites]

+than, damn it. See how this is upsetting me?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:29 AM on June 18, 2007

jessamyn: that's the exact phrase I use with my 18mo old. Are you around kids much?

uh, no, I just work here.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:31 AM on June 18, 2007 [11 favorites]

More with the making sense, less with the crazy.
posted by flashboy at 7:32 AM on June 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ahhhh, palmcorder_yajna, that makes sense. But then would we have to start wearing pants around here?
posted by yeti at 7:33 AM on June 18, 2007

Well, I wasn't thinking of an account, but we can pretty much forget saying, "Howdy, Mrs. C' in unison, with 24-part harmonization.

As a consolation, Migs, maybe you can show her an ASCII image of a bouquet a flowers and lie to her by saying it's from all of us.
posted by Smart Dalek at 7:35 AM on June 18, 2007

You're missing the point. Smart Dalek is being deliberately vague in an attempt to pique Miguel's curiosity and lure him back into Metatalk.

FOREVER.

I for one salute him.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:35 AM on June 18, 2007

"Bucket". It's bucket of flowers.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:36 AM on June 18, 2007

We has a bucket?
posted by konolia at 7:42 AM on June 18, 2007 [3 favorites]

Well, we did.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 7:45 AM on June 18, 2007

He should just give his mom's email address to that Wendell fellow.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:01 AM on June 18, 2007

Seriously, Kirth?
posted by OmieWise at 8:06 AM on June 18, 2007

Smart Dalek:

Please, start making sense soon. So you weren't thinking of an account. That's great. What were you thinking of?

Let's make this simple:

1) Are you complaining about something?
- If yes, go to question 2.
- If no, go to question 5.

2) Are you complaining about behaviour in that AskMe?
- If yes, go to question 3.
- If no, go to question 4.

3) Whose behaviour are you complaining about, and what did they do wrong?
Write those answers here. Skip the remaining questions.

4) Are you complaining about MeFite behaviour in general?
- If yes, write which behaviour you are complaining about here. Skip the remaining questions.
- If no, write what you're complaining about here. Skip the remaining questions.

5) Are you proposing something?
- If yes, write what you are proposing here. Skip the remaining questions.
- If no, go to question 6.

6) Are you trying to draw community attention to something you think is interesting?
- If yes, write what you think is interesting. Skip the remaining questions.
- If no, go to question 7.

7) Do you have something which you wish to communicate to MeFites, other than a complaint, proposal, or observation of something interesting?
- If yes, write what you wish to communicate.
- If no, write an explanation about why you posted to MetaTalk despite having nothing you wish to communicate to people.
posted by Bugbread at 8:17 AM on June 18, 2007 [26 favorites]

Seriously Kirth. Moratorium on the Wendell comments por favor. We GET IT. You're bitter with Wendell, you don't want Mefites e-mailing you & you like to beat dead horses into glue.

And with that, may I say... FOOOOOGGGGGEEEERRRRTTTTTYYYYYY!
posted by miss lynnster at 8:36 AM on June 18, 2007

I think Smart Dalek might be trying to ask for the entire character of Metafilter/Metatalk/Ask Metafilter to miraculously change for the benefit of one person's mother.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:42 AM on June 18, 2007

7) I'm having Caribou coffee, and it is delicious!
posted by Kwine at 8:49 AM on June 18, 2007

I think Smart Dalek might be trying to ask for the entire character of Metafilter/Metatalk/Ask Metafilter to miraculously change for the benefit of one person's mother.

Screw that. If Miguel's mom gets an account here, I'm not changing one iota. I will continue to be the bane of every mod here. I will continue to be the out-of-control, irrepressible loose cannon that I've always been. I have a reputation to uphold.
posted by iconomy at 8:54 AM on June 18, 2007

Wouldn't it have been easier to just email each of us to ask us whether we can manage to behave ourselves and whether that's asking too much?
posted by found missing at 8:54 AM on June 18, 2007

Maybe Miguel could let the internet know when his mother is online so that we all know when to behave. After she logs off, all hell can break loose.
posted by found missing at 8:59 AM on June 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

I totally understand what Smart Dalek is talking about, and holy shit is he on to something. Wait till you guys figure it out. Wow.

i have no clue
posted by NationalKato at 9:08 AM on June 18, 2007

Oh, not again! It gets worse every time he doesn't show!
Titulosterical.
posted by peacay at 9:19 AM on June 18, 2007

I think I get it.

palmcorder_yajna pretty much nailed the point of smart dalek's post.

smart dalek, seeing his post explained in a way that makes sense, realized how ridiculous it was, as so clearly illustrated by Dave Faris above, and decided that (having been faced with a thread full of people going "huh?" and scratching their heads) his best option was to continue being vague and circuitous because the alternative was to sheepishly own up to his inanity and apologize for wasting everyone's time. This is because he is a jerk.
posted by shmegegge at 9:27 AM on June 18, 2007

On the other hand, he might have been asking in a way to mock Miguel's post .. interpreting the post in the way I interpreted it.

In any case, calling him a jerk is uncalled for. What will Miguel's mommy think of that?
posted by Dave Faris at 9:35 AM on June 18, 2007

I think even miguel's mommy would say "jerk? seriously? what kind of an insult is that? you're not even trying!"
posted by shmegegge at 9:41 AM on June 18, 2007

She wouldn't call us jerks.

She would say 'jerx'. Because she's cool like that.
posted by iconomy at 9:45 AM on June 18, 2007

Let's call him drunk at 6am.
posted by mediareport at 9:45 AM on June 18, 2007

No. It'd be more like "empurrão? seriamente? que tipo de um insulto é aquele? você não é tentar uniforme! “
posted by Dave Faris at 9:46 AM on June 18, 2007

I'm just pissed that I never got a wendell-mail.
posted by loquacious at 10:14 AM on June 18, 2007

Let's call him drunk at 6am.

Okay, he's drunk at 6am.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:19 AM on June 18, 2007

OmieWise, Miss lynnster, it 's a joke. Enlighten.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:26 AM on June 18, 2007

I took this post to mean "Look, Miguel's mom is going to be on the internet!" with some accompanying text that was worded to make it seem like there was more of a point to it than that.

The real test of good behavior would occur if she made a similarly vague post to MeTa to say hello.
posted by Tehanu at 10:30 AM on June 18, 2007

Dave Faris FTW. I made a facetious attempt to get people to post a polite hello or two to Miguel's mother. Considering the hostility that arose from Mig's US-centric thread, I feared there would still be some ill-sentiments, and opted for a bit of (light-hearted) sarcasm.

The "not again!" quote, coincidentally, was a reference to The Signal.

If the admins have some sense of humor remaining (though it may be pushing it to assume as much), I'd think it'd be nice if our rough'n'tumble part of the net opened a thread (not an account - I'm not that naive!) that could serve as a Welcome th the WWW greeting card. This is Migs' mom after all. We could do that much.

*gives shmegegge back the stolen puppy*

Mystery solved.
posted by Smart Dalek at 10:35 AM on June 18, 2007

I was hoping for a shocking conclusion when I got to this point in the thread. What the fuck? Is this the most quiet flame out ever or something?
posted by chunking express at 10:35 AM on June 18, 2007

S'damn lame.
posted by sneakin at 10:42 AM on June 18, 2007

A lameout?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:48 AM on June 18, 2007

Thou shalt not put users and moderators on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.
Miguel Cardoso? Just a user.
asavage? Just a user.
mathowie? Just a user.
jessamyn? Just a user.
cortex? Just a user.
The next 'net folk hero? Just a user.
posted by mullacc at 10:56 AM on June 18, 2007 [4 favorites]

i hate that song.
posted by Stynxno at 11:00 AM on June 18, 2007 [3 favorites]

Stynxno ftw.
posted by shmegegge at 11:05 AM on June 18, 2007

Ban that motherfucker.

Oh wait we're supposed to be polite?

Will you please ban that motherfucker?
posted by ND¢ at 11:10 AM on June 18, 2007

Kirth, by referencing my own bitter dead horse known as John Fogerty, I myself was also making a joke.

Enlighten.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:15 AM on June 18, 2007

Silver Surfer? Does that sound to anyone else like some sort of fetish?

And we're supposed to tell her what web pages to go to?
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:16 AM on June 18, 2007

This is a stupid post.

Is there any chance that we can manage to stop making stupid MetaTalk posts for the benefit of our fellow MeFites who have had it up to here with this crap? Is that asking too much?
posted by languagehat at 11:21 AM on June 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

Stynxno? Just a user.
posted by mullacc at 11:25 AM on June 18, 2007

PMILF.
posted by ColdChef at 11:27 AM on June 18, 2007

Is there any chance that [x]? Is that asking too much?

Yes.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:28 AM on June 18, 2007

Stynxno ftw.

Fuck. How can I be a special snowflake if you people are gonna agree with me?

I don't need your favorites you sheep. SHEEEEP.
posted by Stynxno at 11:28 AM on June 18, 2007 [3 favorites]

Baaaah. BAAAAAAH.

Give me favorites, bitches!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:36 AM on June 18, 2007 [3 favorites]

Miguel's Mom is watching you post about masturbating.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:41 AM on June 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

The only thing that would redeem this thread is Miguel's mom showing up and flaming out.

And spamming the whole site with Betty/Veronica lesbian slash fiction [ff, nc, pedo].
posted by nasreddin at 11:49 AM on June 18, 2007

Please with the B/V slash fic. And pics. Please.
posted by goo at 11:53 AM on June 18, 2007

Enh, I remember someone saying their dad read mefi a while ago. If Miguel's mother doesn't like what's going on here, she'll leave. It's up to her.
posted by brujita at 12:02 PM on June 18, 2007

I'd be more disturbed if my mother did like what's going on here, personally.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:10 PM on June 18, 2007

For the benefit of Mrs. C
We MeFites shall all agree
To keep it clean

Mathowie will not let us swear
As Jessamyn takes great care
To mod the scene

Over pissing elephants
Ceiling kittens
Lastly through a photo
of goatse

In his way
Mister Cortex
Will delete the posts
posted by SteveInMaine at 12:12 PM on June 18, 2007 [4 favorites]

Sung to the tune Yesterday. Of course.
posted by SteveInMaine at 12:14 PM on June 18, 2007

brujita: that was jessamyn
posted by frecklefaerie at 12:22 PM on June 18, 2007

Well, at least we get to know that a brother of stupidsexyFlanders reads--though not necessarily with much comprehension--MetaFilter.
posted by y2karl at 12:38 PM on June 18, 2007

Mods, is there some way you guys could append "... and Alvy Ampersand, too." to every comment languagehat makes on MeTa? (Artist's blurry conception)

Not that his comments need the weight of my name behind them, just that a piggyback feature would save me some time as this shit's getting out of hand.




Oh, and what languagehat said.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:18 PM on June 18, 2007

(A revisionist historian writes...)
Even those terrible things he said about Wendell's mother?
posted by Abiezer at 1:28 PM on June 18, 2007

Would this thread be an appropriate place for me to brag about my massive cock?
posted by Meatbomb at 1:47 PM on June 18, 2007

I just watched the funk episode of "Soul Deep" and therefore I feel the need to declare this thread most unfunky. So here's some George Clinton to get you all back on track.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:50 PM on June 18, 2007

brujita: that was jessamyn

It was alleged of me, but isn't true.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:02 PM on June 18, 2007

No, it was someone else, but I don't remember offhand who.
posted by brujita at 2:51 PM on June 18, 2007

*waiting for first comment from migsmom, user #55430+ *
posted by Cranberry at 2:52 PM on June 18, 2007

so the betty/veronica slash, this was just teasing? what else was gonna redeem this thread?
posted by mikoroshi at 3:04 PM on June 18, 2007

“Is there any chance that [x]? Is that asking too much?”

“Yes.”

And the chance, expressed as a percentage, is almost-but-not-quite-100%.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 3:06 PM on June 18, 2007

The existence of this post is so ridiculous that I can't stop chuckling to snark properly.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 3:21 PM on June 18, 2007

This is Migs' mom after all.

Somebody wants his bottle!
posted by dhammond at 3:29 PM on June 18, 2007

...Mystery solved.
Ah, so there was no point to this whatsoever?
Add me to the list of those sick to death of people pissing all over MetaTalk simply for their personal amusement. I mean, it's smelly enough in here without your piss all over the walls.
posted by dg at 4:20 PM on June 18, 2007

'scuse me while I whip this out...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:21 PM on June 18, 2007

This is one of the worst metatalk threads ever. And I mean that.
posted by puke & cry at 4:37 PM on June 18, 2007

Screw that. If Miguel's mom gets an account here, I'm not changing one iota.
iconomy, you don't need to change. Have you forgotten how much approval MiguelCardoso gave you after your very first MetaTalk comment :-)
posted by tellurian at 4:56 PM on June 18, 2007

Ah, so there was no point to this whatsoever?

Of course there's a point. Hundreds of MeTa comments that equate to incessant and never ending navel gazing, done at least 3 times a week now. Back in the day once a week was frowned upon. Now we have three times the crap to fling around here.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 5:08 PM on June 18, 2007

For the record, I care not what anyone says here about me or my Dear Departed Mother (she's dead, has been for over 20 years; I'm getting over it), because I can always return to the sheltering arms of my list of people who don't mind getting Wendellmail. So there is no need for anyone to come to my defense.

And Miguel's mom is a MILMeFi...
posted by wendell at 5:16 PM on June 18, 2007

sorry

[NOT FLACID]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:34 PM on June 18, 2007

Oh shit, my mom is coming to the Internet! Quick, porn sites under the bed. Foul mouth blog snark in the sock drawer. OH GOD OGRISH!
posted by dgaicun at 5:37 PM on June 18, 2007

Sorry to be the one to break this to you, dgaicum, but your mother's already on the Internet and she's hot.
posted by dg at 6:26 PM on June 18, 2007

cortex, where are you and why haven't you closed this yet?
posted by sneakin at 7:41 PM on June 18, 2007

“Sorry to be the one to break this to you, dgaicum, but your mother's already on the Internet and she's hot.”

Yeah, but is that German they're speaking? And...huh. What are they doing? I me...wh...

Oh. Dude.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:44 PM on June 18, 2007

My son's father reads Metafilter, and you people have never once put out the nice china and flatware for him.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:08 PM on June 18, 2007

dg and EB,

O no you dinn't. My response to yalls, in retro-collaboration with the Decemberists, begins at 2:43:50 on this WFMU audio file.
posted by dgaicun at 9:08 PM on June 18, 2007

Hey, we aren't the ones who posted the video - we're trying to do you a favour by letting you know it's out there. Boy, it's out there all right.

I'm not opening that link at work - do you have a transcript handy?
posted by dg at 9:16 PM on June 18, 2007

“My son's father reads Metafilter”

What is his username?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:17 PM on June 18, 2007

My son's father reads Metafilter
Ah, I see your wife finally had that talk with you. Small world, huh?
posted by dg at 9:26 PM on June 18, 2007

There's been a number of bizarre metatalk threads recently, but this one doesn't even seem to have a genuinely crazy person at it's core to justify it.

It's just sort of... what?
posted by Arturus at 9:51 PM on June 18, 2007

It's just sort of... what?

alt.posessive.its.has.no.apostrophe?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:52 PM on June 18, 2007

“‘It's just sort of... what?’

“alt.posessive.its.has.no.apostrophe?”

alt.that.its.wasnt.possessive.but.the.previous.sentences.its.was?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:02 PM on June 18, 2007

can someone close this shit already? damn.
posted by puke & cry at 10:12 PM on June 18, 2007

Smithers: Miss Cooper, I didn't expect to see you here at this hour.

Betty: I'm sorry, Smithers I didn't expect to see you either.

Smithers: Mr. Lodge is out for the night and Mr. Andrews is not here tonight. I'm afraid Ms. Lodge is alone in Here room.

Betty: I didn't come here to see Mr. Lodge or Archie.

Smithers: Very well then...
posted by afu at 10:19 PM on June 18, 2007

in her room

I suck at slash fiction
posted by afu at 10:20 PM on June 18, 2007

I love the confused/clueless/whatthehellisgoingon first half of this post.
Welcome to my world people.
posted by Iron Rat at 10:41 PM on June 18, 2007

If the thread gets closed now, P&C, we won't have an appropriate forum to discuss all these burning issues. Like, for example, my... Oh forget it.
posted by Meatbomb at 10:52 PM on June 18, 2007

I love the confused/clueless/whatthehellisgoingon first half of this post.

..Erm, huh?

If the thread gets closed now, P&C, we won't have an appropriate forum to discuss all these burning issues. Like, for example, my... Oh forget it.

..WHAT?!
posted by carsonb at 10:57 PM on June 18, 2007

If the thread gets closed now, P&C, we won't have an appropriate forum to discuss all these burning issues. Like, for example, my... Oh forget it.

Dude, if that thing's burning, you'd better go see a doctor about it. Either that, or post in AskMe.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:22 AM on June 19, 2007

i get it! it's funny because you can see the outline of their penises.
posted by mistersix at 2:23 AM on June 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

My response to yalls, in retro-collaboration with the Decemberists, begins at 2:43:50 on this WFMU audio file.

If you want to cut to the chase, here are the lyrics. ("Til at last she's satisfied the lost of the marina's teeming minions, and their opinions" should read "Til at last she's satisfied the lot of the marina's teeming minions, in their opinions.") Great song!
posted by languagehat at 8:21 AM on June 19, 2007

I knew it would be Cautionary song. Interesting choice to recast it as Counter-insult Song.
posted by ludwig_van at 1:24 PM on June 19, 2007

That's what happens when you have random strangers flagging it constantly, Meatbomb.
posted by Iamtherealme at 6:43 PM on June 19, 2007

Migs by proxy!
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:03 PM on June 19, 2007