suicide video link

April 28, 2007 6:47 PM

This comment links to a video of a real life suicide without warning (other than "I'm a terrible person"). Normally I'd flag this and move on, but this is possibly the worst thing I've ever seen on metafilter and I'd like to see it deleted as quickly as possible.
posted by null terminated to Etiquette/Policy at 6:47 PM (57 comments total)

I removed it, I'll drop the user a note.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:59 PM on April 28, 2007

Agreed- I'd seen that before (linked on MeFi), but those not expecting the conclusion might be shaken up a bit.
posted by fish tick at 6:59 PM on April 28, 2007

Thanks.
posted by null terminated at 7:00 PM on April 28, 2007

He told you he was hardcore.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:08 PM on April 28, 2007 [3 favorites]

I'm glad I missed it. I had qualms enough link to the Deer Hunter parody.
posted by ztdavis at 7:47 PM on April 28, 2007

...linking...
posted by ztdavis at 7:47 PM on April 28, 2007

For everyone that missed it, it was the Bud Dwyer video.
posted by puke & cry at 7:54 PM on April 28, 2007

Just to be clear, if the link had been explained, so folks could have chosen to click through or not, it would have remained, right?

(And yes, I hope that's the case, if that matters).
posted by mediareport at 8:07 PM on April 28, 2007

Yeah, I think so. I emailed the guy and said if he wanted to add it back in again with some more context and some nsfw indicator, that would likely not be a problem.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:08 PM on April 28, 2007

This is the worst thing you've ever seen on metafilter?
posted by Saucy Intruder at 8:09 PM on April 28, 2007

I admit I don't quite understand what that thread is about, but I understand even less how a suicide video would fit with the topic or discussion. Was this just a random "check this out" kinda thing?
posted by Mid at 8:13 PM on April 28, 2007

This is the worst thing I've ever seen on metafilter.

I saw that video before (linked in some ask.mefi thread) and wish I hadn't. Its a video of a desperate man blowing his brains out in public. It's haunted me since. Other things on mefi have annoyed me, surprised me, disgusted me and shocked me as well. I dont really recall them. But this one lingers.
posted by vacapinta at 8:17 PM on April 28, 2007

I think I've commented about this before, but I saw that video once a few years ago and it really, really disturbed me. I thought about it for days. I don't click on links like that anymore if I can help it.
posted by chococat at 8:18 PM on April 28, 2007

or...what vacapinta said.
posted by chococat at 8:19 PM on April 28, 2007

Now that I think about it, that might be the worst thing I've ever seen here.
posted by puke & cry at 8:24 PM on April 28, 2007

That video was linked on AskMe when someone asked about a politician committing suicide on National Television. I watched it out of morbid curiosity and and now I really, really wish I hadn't. =\
posted by Phire at 8:24 PM on April 28, 2007

And Mid, the link was the video with the clip from "Hide and Seek" playing once he shoots himself, just like all the other videos in that thread.
posted by puke & cry at 8:25 PM on April 28, 2007

That video was awful, but I saw it as part of Faces of Death, not here.

The worst thing I've ever seen here was the Parents Behaving Badly child abuse blog, and that didn't have pictures.
posted by Methylviolet at 8:40 PM on April 28, 2007

So does anyone have a link to the Christine Chubbuck suicide video?

that's why I say hey man nice shot

</tasteless>
posted by Eideteker at 8:42 PM on April 28, 2007

After reading Dwyer's Wikipedia page, I'm very curious to see the upcoming documentary about him; I was starting grad school when Dwyer shot himself but never looked into the case (and never felt the need to watch the video). I just assumed he offed himself because he was guilty and ashamed, not because he believed he was innocent and wanted to save his pension for his wife. Fascinating.
posted by mediareport at 8:42 PM on April 28, 2007

*cues filter cd*
posted by pyramid termite at 8:43 PM on April 28, 2007

I grew up one town over from Chubbuck, but it was before my time. My understanding is that the family got the police to turn over the video and most likely destroyed it or still have it. They also got an injunction against the news station to turn over the tape to the police in the first place or something like that.
posted by Falconetti at 8:55 PM on April 28, 2007

What an asshole thing to do.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:22 PM on April 28, 2007

Jesus, I've seen that video, and it's horribley graphic. Lots and lots of blood.

What the hell were they (the person who posted it) thinking??
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 9:54 PM on April 28, 2007

Hasn't anybody gone the totally tasteless route of mashing up Cho Seung-Hui's videos with "Dear Sister"? If so, you don't need to link to it. If not, I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry I brought it up.
posted by wendell at 9:57 PM on April 28, 2007

Saucy Intruder writes "This is the worst thing you've ever seen on metafilter?"

No, some dude having intimate relations with a chicken corpse.
posted by orthogonality at 10:36 PM on April 28, 2007

The sicko who posted that animation was banned, right?
posted by Methylviolet at 11:30 PM on April 28, 2007

So, we've fixed the Justice System in the intervening 20 years, right?

guys?
posted by blenderfish at 12:37 AM on April 29, 2007

What the hell were they (the person who posted it) thinking??

Wait, there was some context to support linkage to that video. It was a rip on the segment being discussed in the original post. Personally, since I never heard of Budd Dwyer before today, I couldn't believe what I saw at first was real.
posted by phaedon at 12:52 AM on April 29, 2007

Personally, since I never heard of Budd Dwyer before today, I couldn't believe what I saw at first was real.

Yeah, ironically, I'm actually thankful this got called out, because I hadn't heard of it either.
posted by blenderfish at 1:19 AM on April 29, 2007

this post is eponysad.
posted by srboisvert at 5:00 AM on April 29, 2007

*head asplodes*
posted by quonsar at 5:34 AM on April 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

No, some dude having intimate relations with a chicken corpse.

Back off, it was college and I was experimenting.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:37 AM on April 29, 2007

orthogonality nailed it.
so to speak.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 7:03 AM on April 29, 2007

Don't forget that he inspired the song "Hey Man Nice Shot" by Filter.
posted by baphomet at 7:27 AM on April 29, 2007

vacapinta, you are such a wuss! :\
posted by yeoz at 8:26 AM on April 29, 2007

One would think we'd all be completely desensitized to depictions of real graphic violence, what with the hollywood and videogame recreations we see of it.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:08 AM on April 29, 2007

So I guess I shouldn't post the Chechen throat-slashing Dear Sister mashup I made. :/
posted by thirteenkiller at 9:28 AM on April 29, 2007

worst thing i ever saw on metafilter was the beheading video.

(and as of today, it looks like the goatse.cx auction is at $600250. )

(just as an aside.)
posted by merelyglib at 9:38 AM on April 29, 2007

holy crap ... that's a lot of money to pay for a domain name
posted by pyramid termite at 10:41 AM on April 29, 2007

I think the climactic second or 2 of that Dwyer video is used in Bowling for Columbine as part of a montage of gun violence. Even in the context of that movie, and within that montage, it stick in my mind.
posted by The Deej at 11:01 AM on April 29, 2007

Dave Faris writes "One would think we'd all be completely desensitized to depictions of real graphic violence, what with the hollywood and videogame recreations we see of it."

Evidently not. Take that Jack Thompson!
posted by brundlefly at 11:08 AM on April 29, 2007 [3 favorites]

I saw the Dwyer suicide when it happened. I always thought I was a little girl home sick that day, but according to Wikipedia I was a teenager and it was a snow day. Guess it just made me feel small and sick.
posted by jrossi4r at 11:13 AM on April 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Jesus. My curiosity got the better of me and I watched it. I wish I could turn back time.
posted by brundlefly at 1:14 PM on April 29, 2007

I was studying abroad at the time, so I missed the whole thing. The pension angle plus that he was proclaiming his innocence right up until the point where he pulled the trigger cast this story in a completely different light than everything I'd heard about it previously.

the hollywood and videogame recreations we see of it."

Hollywood depictions never come close to the artless and grim brutality of the real thing. There's something terrible about witnessing that sudden moment when a life that was there a split second ago is no longer. Hollywood gore for the most part (thankfully) consciously avoids representing this, even if it could.
posted by psmealey at 1:32 PM on April 29, 2007

Heh. From the New York Times article (available here):

And he urged that the death penalty be repealed, saying that what had happened to him made him certain that innocent people had been convicted and executed. He apologized for voting several times as a state legislator for the death penalty.
posted by blenderfish at 1:55 PM on April 29, 2007

Too much suicide shit here recently. There's a difference between sad and depressing. Stuff like the Sand Creek post is sad; sadness leaves room for other feelings, like anger or guilt or even rejection of the sadness, and all these feelings are worth exploring and sharing, and arguing over.

Suicide posts are depressing (that is to say, posts that are just about suicide, not posts that are about helping the suicidal, which are desperately useful; in these posts, the sadness leaves room for compassion and concern). There's no room for anything but sadness and thoughts about suicides.

If you're lucky, the closest you'll ever get to a suicide is watching this clip or thinking about some hypothetical. I don't know if that would make these posts more tolerable.

Since these posts cropped up last week, and now that this clip is here and the discussion goes on and on (maybe I could just move on, but moving on is tougher than you think), I've been unable to think of much beyond how heavy her head was when I tried to hold her, and how she kept folding away from me and even though I was hugging her, she wouldn't press her cheek against my collarbone the way she always did when we hugged, because it wasn't us hugging, only me, alone with a dead body that was my wife. It sounds stupid to say this, but I can't get over how different she was dead than alive. She felt so small.

I'm sorry to be graphic and painful here, but that's what I've felt when looking at this site over the past few days, as needless suicide posts have popped up here and there. It doesn't do me any good to keep thinking about these things, and I don't necessarily think it does the site any good for them to be posted here.

I fully realize that I'm speaking for myself here, and that my maudlin whim shouldn't really change the way people post here. I've said before that suicide means different things to everyone, and it's important for people to explore things they don't know or aren't comfortable with.

I think if there were videos posted showing this suicide's wife upon first seeing his corpse, or of a suicide's mother, or brother, or whoever loved them most, holding them and trying to grieve the life back into them, then maybe folks would understand suicide a little better. It would be far more graphic than watching people end their lives. I don't wish these kinds of videos existed, or were posted here, but they would show that suicide is not something to laugh at, or gawk at, or sensationalize: suicide hurts, badly and for a long time, and it doesn't answer anything.

I'm sorry to be so self-absorbed and -indulgent, but thoughts are being shared here, and these are mine.
posted by breezeway at 3:17 PM on April 29, 2007 [23 favorites]

breezeway, however long it has been I hope you're not dealing with this alone right now. Please call someone who loves you. I hope I'm not out of order in saying this.
posted by teleskiving at 4:46 PM on April 29, 2007

Don't worry, teleskiving. I appreciate your concern, but there's really no need. There are few things that I have trouble talking about, and this is one of them, but I'm used to it, and I've reached a certain kind of peace with it. I love thinking about them, and not all my thoughts about my family are about their deaths. Most aren't, though there's a coda hooked to every thought that turns it to an empty hope, empty because it's past, hope because it's not a regret.

It's a long time past, and I mentioned it as an effect some might not recognize from posts like this; though there's nothing to help or change it, and I wouldn't impose a moratorium on topics that strain my stitches, it's sometimes worth showing people a side that my better judgment might keep to myself. I reckon there are a few people around who don't post comments that might help discourse, or make a point that remains unmade, but don't because the topic's too painful. I tend to write and delete, write and delete, but this time at least, I hit post, and I think it's a help. It's been eight years, and I've learned to be happy, though there are always things that hurt. No need for alarm, and I'm sorry if I caused any.

After all, we're never really alone when we have Toots Hibbert to listen to, Aleksander Afanas'ev to read from, and General Tso to eat.
posted by breezeway at 5:52 PM on April 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

breezeway. I know the feeling... I have lost 2 VERY close people to suicide. It's tough to get over. The first one was over 15 years ago and not a week goes by that it doesn't effect my thoughts in some way. The other was only a year ago. Their faces come to me often when i close my eyes.
posted by The Deej at 6:32 PM on April 29, 2007

Oh, Breezeway, I'm so very sorry. You may want to read How Not to Commit Suicide. Art Kleiner interviewed people who were unseccessful at suicide, health care profesisonals and survivors, and it is one of the most moving things I've ever read.
posted by theora55 at 9:08 PM on April 29, 2007

Breezeway, I was about to save your comment as a favorite, but it somehow seemed wholly inadequate.

I'm sorry.
posted by voltairemodern at 10:11 PM on April 29, 2007

Breezeway,



.
posted by RussHy at 11:26 PM on April 29, 2007

Shit. Don't know what to say. Really, really touched by breezeway's post.
posted by brundlefly at 1:27 AM on April 30, 2007

damn.
posted by chunking express at 11:20 AM on April 30, 2007

(and as of today, it looks like the goatse.cx auction is at $600250. )

It's up to a million dollars.

I'm kind of suprised by the reaction. I'd heard of the guy and seen the video long ago, and I wouldn't have thought twice about it being put to that music like all the other 'getting shot' videos.
posted by delmoi at 11:54 AM on April 30, 2007

OK, I just watched the video and I'm not certain what all the fuss is about. Yes, blood cascades from the guy's face after he falls to the floor, but the actual death looked instantaneous and probably painless. True, killing one's self in front of an unsuspecting audience is a pretty shitty thing to do, but you can't exactly get an apology out of him. There are far more gross, queasy, vomit-inducing scenes on television. Surgery, for example, reports of rape, torture in Iraq, etc. In comparison, this strikes me as fairly tame. Although I did notice how the media was saying stuff like "don't do it" which made me wonder, did they think he would turn the gun on them or on himself? And if the latter, did anyone attempt to help the guy before he got to that point? I don't want to minimize the tragic aspect, only the reaction people have to it. On the other hand, people react differently to various things, I can't watch a plastic surgeon at work without losing my appetite, so a NSFW and brief description ought, out of common courtesy, have been provided.
posted by Grod at 7:51 PM on April 30, 2007