Bondcliff's comment about showering was both funny and helpful

December 15, 2005 7:37 AM

This AskMe comment was funny and helpful. Thanks for the advice and laugh, Bondcliff. (P.S. What's an "ass cootie"?)
posted by KevinSkomsvold to Etiquette/Policy at 7:37 AM (27 comments total)

Ass-cooties are a little like dingle-berries, only microscopic.
posted by JeffK at 8:05 AM on December 15, 2005

Thanks for pointing it out....hysterical. I never would have read the thread otherwise.

(P.S. What's an "ass cootie"?)

I would ask If I Had An Anus. He's the go-to guy for all things assy around here. My take on ass cooties on a cloth is that they're a tiny little colony of germs from your ass, and they multiple like jackrabbits while you sleep. I imagine them as little round globs with stick feet and arms, a perpetually disgruntled expression, messy hair, and fangs.
posted by iconomy at 8:11 AM on December 15, 2005

the go-to guy for all things assy around here

Well, you know, those who can't doo, teach.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:13 AM on December 15, 2005

"Doo"? As in "doo-doo"?
posted by c13 at 8:18 AM on December 15, 2005

What doo you think?
posted by iconomy at 8:21 AM on December 15, 2005

I'd like to point out that his site is pretty damn funny too.
posted by brownpau at 8:22 AM on December 15, 2005

(P.S. What's an "ass cootie"?)
posted by onalark at 8:22 AM on December 15, 2005

Thanks for pointing it out....hysterical. I never would have read the thread otherwise.

Yeah, I'm not too hip to the whole "hack" phenomenon. It's a shower, not a space shuttle cockpit ferrchristsakes, but Bondy's comment made it fun and there was some good advice there.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:26 AM on December 15, 2005

Oh and I discovered caffeine soap from that thread. How cool is that?
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:28 AM on December 15, 2005

Mleh. It was funny, but I don't know about helpful. That question was hard to answer in any truly helpful way, and that answer was clearly taking the piss top to bottom.
posted by scarabic at 8:31 AM on December 15, 2005

I thought this was why we had "fantastic post/comment" flags?
posted by gleuschk at 8:32 AM on December 15, 2005

I would ask If I Had An Anus. He's the go-to guy for all things assy around here.

Ahem.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:33 AM on December 15, 2005

Could you maybe share ass duties? I guess we could include arsehat too. I don't want to slight anyone.
posted by iconomy at 9:00 AM on December 15, 2005

Why would you ask a guy who doesn't have an anus or who is faint of butt about things assy? You need to ask a guy named "Oh Wait I Do In Fact Have An Anus And It's Huuuuge" or perhaps "Great of Butt."
posted by kindall at 9:03 AM on December 15, 2005

For wisdom from Hugh Janus you need to go to metachat.
posted by safetyfork at 9:06 AM on December 15, 2005

I thought this was why we had "fantastic post/comment" flags?

Which I did use and normally do. I just wanted to highlight this one in particular since it's an AskMe comment and there's been some debate as to how one can be helpful and lighthearted at the same time. I love the way some of the AskMe threads do that sometimes.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:18 AM on December 15, 2005

Why would you ask a guy who doesn't have an anus or who is faint of butt about things assy?

I'm pretty sure his username refers to the anuses of other people ;)
posted by iconomy at 9:22 AM on December 15, 2005

Yeah, funny thing, I just found out this morning that I've cracked the top 100 on the transplant waiting list. I can hardly wait.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:33 AM on December 15, 2005

If they could bifurcate my anus and give you half, I would gladly make the sacrifice.
posted by JeffK at 9:51 AM on December 15, 2005

brownpau: Thanks for linking to his site. It's hysterical, and got instantly bookmarked.

We don't have the luxury of town-supplied sewers on our street, so when we flush the toilet the shit all ends up in a tank under the front yard. There a bunch of magic elves use nanotechnology to turn the filthy, disgusting, toxic waste into Sandra Boynton products, which are then shipped off to Barnes & Noble where they are sold at reasonable prices to knowledgeable consumers. The byproducts of this process are disbursed into what are known as "leaching fields", where they are fed to the grateful bacteria in the soil, creating the greenest, healthiest looking, freshest smelling grass you've ever seen.

Just a tiny part of his magificent post on "Crap."
posted by languagehat at 9:51 AM on December 15, 2005

That's very kind of you, JeffK.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 11:26 AM on December 15, 2005

I'm a giver.
posted by JeffK at 11:50 AM on December 15, 2005

Would that make you bisectual?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:58 AM on December 15, 2005

Is it just me, or has "I, for one, welcome our new x over... ah, forget it" become the new "I, for one, welcome our new x overlords?"
posted by koeselitz at 12:02 PM on December 15, 2005

Interesting thread that I definitely would have skipped otherwise, being as I've got both the art AND the science of showering down.

And uh, who uses the same soap/cloth on their ass and their face? You're going to dry your face out this way because it needs moisture! Nevermind asscooties, you're just abusing your skin!

[Yeah hi, I'm fussy about grooming and I think if I stopped showering, several major cosmetic companies would go bankrupt.]
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:35 PM on December 15, 2005

koeselitz: "Is it just me, or has "I, for one, welcome our new x over... ah, forget it" become the new "I, for one, welcome our new x overlords?""

Is it just me or does that have nothing to do with this thread?
posted by Plutor at 2:41 PM on December 15, 2005

Sorry folks, but it's obligatory:

Metafilter: A large colony of ass-cooties.
posted by nevercalm at 4:29 PM on December 15, 2005