shoesfullofdust passed away June 16, 2023 July 29, 2023 7:37 AM   Subscribe

"Be in this world as if you are a traveler, a passerby, with your clothes and shoes full of dust. Sometimes you sit under the shade of a tree, sometimes you walk in the desert. Be always a passerby, for this is not home.” I was alerted a week ago to Dylan's passing by a brief mention on his employer's website and wanted to make sure that those of you here who knew him were aware that he is gone. I can't find an official obituary notice posted anywhere and have more questions than answers myself.

Dylan was a longtime Metafilter contributor from 2006 until a few days before his passing. I have been hoping that someone from his family or someone who knew him better or for a longer period of time in real life would write this post because he and I only met last October and he was a bigger deal in my life than I was in his. Also, there was so much to Dylan that it’s impossible to sum up the most important highlights in a few short paragraphs, and heartbreaking to try.

Dylan was incredibly generous with his time, attention and material resources. He was also an intensely private person, so I'll limit my recollections of him to subjects that I think he would be comfortable with me sharing. For those of you who know him personally, you will understand that these words do not even begin to describe who he was as a person or the impact he had on the lives of those around him.

Dylan was an autodidact, a self-taught, lifelong learner who read widely and freely shared his wisdom with those around him. He was a fierce supporter/defender of women's rights around the world and locally. His sense of humour, which I think comes across authentically in his posts here, was as unique and brilliant as he was. Dylan was, above all else, kind.

Dylan had been handed a number of burdens that no one should have ever have to carry, let alone someone as empathetic, sensitive and compassionate as him, but he chose to remain warm, caring and open in the face of difficulty. The cost of carrying those burdens on his own was prohibitive and deeply unfair to such a beautiful and tender soul. He firmly believed that a place should be better for you having passed through it and while he always picked up litter or stray stones during our walks together, the places he lived his life caring about most deeply were the hearts of people he encountered.

Thank you, Dylan for sharing an impactful but short part of your journey with me. I pray that you now understand that your ability to find beauty in everything around you was a reflection of the beauty and goodness contained within your own heart. I hope you are home now, at peace and secure in the knowledge that you were loved, are still loved.

[the quote at the beginning is the inspiration for his username, so it seemed fitting to include it here.]
posted by Ceridwen to MetaFilter-Related at 7:37 AM (89 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite

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posted by eirias at 8:40 AM on July 29, 2023


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posted by Fizz at 9:37 AM on July 29, 2023


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posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 11:19 AM on July 29, 2023


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posted by Wobbuffet at 11:22 AM on July 29, 2023


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Condolences to those of you who knew him personally.
posted by praemunire at 11:27 AM on July 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


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posted by gudrun at 11:34 AM on July 29, 2023


My condolences to all who knew them.
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posted by rmd1023 at 11:36 AM on July 29, 2023 [1 favorite]


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posted by kimberussell at 9:14 AM on July 30, 2023


Sorry to hear this.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:20 AM on July 30, 2023 [1 favorite]


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posted by miles per flower at 9:21 AM on July 30, 2023


My condolences.
posted by y2karl at 10:58 AM on July 30, 2023 [1 favorite]


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posted by toodleydoodley at 5:08 PM on July 30, 2023


I’m sorry for your loss, Ceridwen. Thank you for posting such a lovely tribute to Dylan here.

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posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 6:30 PM on July 30, 2023 [8 favorites]


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posted by Twicketface at 11:19 AM on July 31, 2023


Eternal rest grant unto him O Lord. May perpetual light shine upon him.
posted by jquinby at 12:52 PM on July 31, 2023 [3 favorites]


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posted by GenjiandProust at 2:18 AM on August 1, 2023


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posted by DingoMutt at 7:52 AM on August 1, 2023


I am so sorry Ceridwen.May his memory be a blessing.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:46 AM on August 1, 2023 [1 favorite]


This is so small and weird but I do like that his last AskMe answer was marked a Best Answer. 💗
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:51 AM on August 1, 2023 [14 favorites]


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posted by JoeXIII007 at 11:01 AM on August 1, 2023


jessamyn: This is so small and weird but I do like that his last AskMe answer was marked a Best Answer. 💗
Dylan seriously loved being helpful to people. He owned a copy of the book mentioned in his answer and when I visited him at his apartment a few days after he posted that answer, he had pulled his copy down from his bookshelves and was rereading it.

Also at that time, he was preparing to travel to say his final goodbyes to his step-father (sorry, I can't do more than indirect euphemisms today) and he was actively trying to pull himself out of a deep depression. I can say with certainty, because we discussed the book and his reasons for having it out, that he took comfort in being able to pass along his knowledge to someone else on his online home, even as he himself was struggling.
posted by Ceridwen at 11:47 AM on August 1, 2023 [18 favorites]


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posted by nightrecordings at 7:30 AM on August 2, 2023


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posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:57 AM on August 2, 2023


Thank you for this thoughtful and heartfelt write up that really highlights what a special person he was.
posted by latkes at 11:50 AM on August 2, 2023 [2 favorites]


Thank you for your service to both Dylan and MetaFilter, Ceridwen. Condolences to you and Dylan’s other friends and family. Jessamyn, it’s not weird but human; I noticed the best answer thing as well. But I did not notice this person’s contributions until reading that he was gone and discovering a treasure of thoughtful and kind commentary. I’m so glad I have been introduced to Dylan, however belatedly. His passing really sucks.

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posted by hydra77 at 11:35 AM on August 9, 2023


(link to best answer discussed above)

for me his comment in the mod log meta stuck out, and when I saw it again this time it landed a bit different.

He might not have felt like an active member, but he made some great posts.
posted by zenon at 8:02 PM on August 9, 2023 [3 favorites]


[somehow double posted in this thread. removing duplicate. Still offering sympathy and condolences.]
posted by rmd1023 at 7:31 AM on August 17, 2023


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