Metatalktail Hour: Don't Yum My Yuck June 10, 2023 7:06 AM Subscribe
What book/movie/song/art/etc. are you fully incapable of containing your unhinged rants about? Please come in and vent about the thing!
Rules:
No complaining about people who do like the thing. This is about the flames on the side of your face, not others enjoyment.
No arguing back. You opened the post about ridiculous tirades; you can leave and do something constructive with your time whenever you want!
Bonus points awarded for pettiness and low stakes.
Some amount of bitching about the bad politics of X is fine, but disliking misogyny/racism/transphobia/etc. is not considered unhinged around these parts, so please try to focus on your aesthetic revulsion rather than your moral indignation.
Also, maybe consider coming back here if you see a post on the Blue this week you don't particularly care for and leaving a shitty comment here instead of in the post.
Ready, set, vent!
Rules:
No complaining about people who do like the thing. This is about the flames on the side of your face, not others enjoyment.
No arguing back. You opened the post about ridiculous tirades; you can leave and do something constructive with your time whenever you want!
Bonus points awarded for pettiness and low stakes.
Some amount of bitching about the bad politics of X is fine, but disliking misogyny/racism/transphobia/etc. is not considered unhinged around these parts, so please try to focus on your aesthetic revulsion rather than your moral indignation.
Also, maybe consider coming back here if you see a post on the Blue this week you don't particularly care for and leaving a shitty comment here instead of in the post.
Ready, set, vent!
I'm a huge fuckin hater so I've got a lot of these but the one that's gotten me yelled at the most in my life is this: I think the Rolling Stones are the most overrated rock band in the history of the genre. They've got a terrible singer, the most insipid rhythm section around, they've been making music for 50+ years and even many of their most ardent defenders will concede that most of it sucks, and their whole schtick is this Kid Rock level of wannabe rootsy-ness, and it's all just so lame. I once heard a story about Charlie Watts that he had a big car collection and his favorite thing to do was to dress up in fancy outfits that matched his cars and just sit in them, and that felt like the perfect metaphor for that godawful band as a whole; they dress up and they play pretend and they never fucking go anywhere.
posted by saladin at 7:32 AM on June 10, 2023 [31 favorites]
posted by saladin at 7:32 AM on June 10, 2023 [31 favorites]
saladin, I don't have quite this level of vitriol but still, I completely agree!
My vitriol is reserved for gray houses. I feel like we are playing the Wizard of Oz in reverse in my neighborhood as new people buy up the houses previously painted gorgeous rich colors of mustard, plum, etc. and paint them, all of them, every single fucking one of them, GRAY. My partner lives at the end of the most beautiful street in town which in the past few years has been completely neutered by morons gray-ifying the gorgeous old houses and sodding over spectacular front yard bulb gardens. It makes me want to cry. I have spent decades of my life walking my dog past these lovely old houses with their beautiful gardens and now they look like spec homes. What the fuck is wrong with people.
posted by HotToddy at 8:44 AM on June 10, 2023 [40 favorites]
My vitriol is reserved for gray houses. I feel like we are playing the Wizard of Oz in reverse in my neighborhood as new people buy up the houses previously painted gorgeous rich colors of mustard, plum, etc. and paint them, all of them, every single fucking one of them, GRAY. My partner lives at the end of the most beautiful street in town which in the past few years has been completely neutered by morons gray-ifying the gorgeous old houses and sodding over spectacular front yard bulb gardens. It makes me want to cry. I have spent decades of my life walking my dog past these lovely old houses with their beautiful gardens and now they look like spec homes. What the fuck is wrong with people.
posted by HotToddy at 8:44 AM on June 10, 2023 [40 favorites]
Nirvana was vastly overrated, and the only reason anybody remembers the band is the tragic life of Kurt Cobain. Grunge, in general, was a flash in the pan that, commercially, didn't even match hair metal for sustained success.
posted by COD at 8:59 AM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by COD at 8:59 AM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
I'm a huge fuckin hater so I've got a lot of these
Yes, probably unsurprising given that I posted this, but I get a lot of joy out of really hating a thing sometimes. I believe that this is fine and good, and that it is healthy to be able to despise something just because you do without having to convince yourself that, actually, this thing you hate is Objectively Bad because you would never harbor irrational dislikes.
But also, your beloved irrational grudges are mostly tiresome to people who don't share them, so it is nice sometimes to have a space to let them run free.
Anyway, my current rant is about Otter Dynasty, and I didn't want to make a Fanfare post about an absurd otter show just to be a dick about it, so here we are instead.
I love otters so much and the footage is awesome and makes me want to visit Singapore! However, I guess the producers felt they needed a hook to sell their Singaporean otter nature show (how is that not enough of a hook!), so it has a weird orientalist anthropomorphized plot about otter matriarchs scheming against each other and strange Game of Thrones style maps of territory. The linked review is very into the absurdity of it all, but I just find it distracting and weird. I'm going to watch the rest of it on mute and listen to music with my gorgeous Singaporean otter travelogue footage, but it still pisses me off that instead of a neat nature show they made this strange soap opera. (And I like a good soap opera; this is just a bad one.)
posted by the primroses were over at 9:29 AM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
Yes, probably unsurprising given that I posted this, but I get a lot of joy out of really hating a thing sometimes. I believe that this is fine and good, and that it is healthy to be able to despise something just because you do without having to convince yourself that, actually, this thing you hate is Objectively Bad because you would never harbor irrational dislikes.
But also, your beloved irrational grudges are mostly tiresome to people who don't share them, so it is nice sometimes to have a space to let them run free.
Anyway, my current rant is about Otter Dynasty, and I didn't want to make a Fanfare post about an absurd otter show just to be a dick about it, so here we are instead.
I love otters so much and the footage is awesome and makes me want to visit Singapore! However, I guess the producers felt they needed a hook to sell their Singaporean otter nature show (how is that not enough of a hook!), so it has a weird orientalist anthropomorphized plot about otter matriarchs scheming against each other and strange Game of Thrones style maps of territory. The linked review is very into the absurdity of it all, but I just find it distracting and weird. I'm going to watch the rest of it on mute and listen to music with my gorgeous Singaporean otter travelogue footage, but it still pisses me off that instead of a neat nature show they made this strange soap opera. (And I like a good soap opera; this is just a bad one.)
posted by the primroses were over at 9:29 AM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
Oh, it's got to be the Big Bang Theory for me. I have a doctorate in mathematics, so in a way I'm the butt of the show's jokes, and even so I'm not offended, just perplexed. It's completely incomprehensible to me that this show is the most successful sitcom of recent years. Every time I see any of it, it seems like a string of non-jokes about non-characters that are somehow, in a sort of bizarro world I don't have access to, hilarious? One of my friends is a retired computer engineer and loves it, which is one of the things I'm sure I will never understand about her.
This is sort of the inverse, but: back before Rowling's public TERF turn (or at least before broad awareness of it, perhaps), I scandalized many of my friends by admitting that I had read the first four Harry Potter books, but then never bothered to finish the series. Apparently it was fine and understandable to actively dislike them and not read them at all, but to find them sufficiently "meh" to drop halfway through and never pick up again was wild.
My vitriol is reserved for gray houses.
good lord, this. When I want to feel sad I open Zillow and look around at listings in my city. It seems like anything remotely affordable in my area is either way out on the far side of town, or made entirely of that enervating pale gray -- or, quite often, both.
posted by egregious theorem at 10:00 AM on June 10, 2023 [22 favorites]
This is sort of the inverse, but: back before Rowling's public TERF turn (or at least before broad awareness of it, perhaps), I scandalized many of my friends by admitting that I had read the first four Harry Potter books, but then never bothered to finish the series. Apparently it was fine and understandable to actively dislike them and not read them at all, but to find them sufficiently "meh" to drop halfway through and never pick up again was wild.
My vitriol is reserved for gray houses.
good lord, this. When I want to feel sad I open Zillow and look around at listings in my city. It seems like anything remotely affordable in my area is either way out on the far side of town, or made entirely of that enervating pale gray -- or, quite often, both.
posted by egregious theorem at 10:00 AM on June 10, 2023 [22 favorites]
I live in New Jersey and can't stand Bruce Springsteen.
Everyone's all "oh, the working man" and his daughter literally competed in equestrian events aside Athina Onassis. ONASSIS.
In his version of "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" Springsteen sounds like he's going to die 3/4 of the way through.
My father played the "Born in the USA" cassette in his car for two straight years so this is probably the root of my yuck.
posted by kimberussell at 10:26 AM on June 10, 2023 [20 favorites]
Everyone's all "oh, the working man" and his daughter literally competed in equestrian events aside Athina Onassis. ONASSIS.
In his version of "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" Springsteen sounds like he's going to die 3/4 of the way through.
My father played the "Born in the USA" cassette in his car for two straight years so this is probably the root of my yuck.
posted by kimberussell at 10:26 AM on June 10, 2023 [20 favorites]
So how does one hire Wordshore for a pub/cake tour? Ya know, for a "friend".
posted by atomicstone at 10:46 AM on June 10, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by atomicstone at 10:46 AM on June 10, 2023 [7 favorites]
High fantasy: books, TV shows, movies. I get why people like it but it just bounces right off of me.
Prestige tv shows like Breaking Bad and the Sopranos. I dunno, I guess I don't vibe with shows about middle aged white men being terrible.
posted by Kitteh at 10:51 AM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
Prestige tv shows like Breaking Bad and the Sopranos. I dunno, I guess I don't vibe with shows about middle aged white men being terrible.
posted by Kitteh at 10:51 AM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
lol Braveheart. I mean aside from the whole Mel Gibsonness of it. I'm a Medievalist and there are a few fairly glaring inaccuracies/misrepresentations that drive me crazy. RANTOMATIC ENGAGED!
posted by supermedusa at 10:57 AM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 10:57 AM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
me to a downcast man in a sombre suit, quietly drinking a whisky: "funeral service?" him: "no, wedding. I'm the groom."
[rimshot]
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:02 AM on June 10, 2023
[rimshot]
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:02 AM on June 10, 2023
our neighbors recently painted their house. they were previously something gray-adjacent (like I cannot even remember it after living next door for 20 years) they painted it a COLOR. its glorious. a deep muted stormy blue. its amazing. (my house is green).
posted by supermedusa at 11:03 AM on June 10, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 11:03 AM on June 10, 2023 [11 favorites]
A thing I absolutely cannot stand (and am quite sensitive to) is an author manipulating a character to do something out of character in order to force the plot forward in a particular way. It immediately jerks me out of my immersion in the story, my disbelief's suspension catastrophically fails, and I can no longer be bothered to finish watching/reading it. It's lazy writing, usually to get the author out of an untenable plot situation they wrote themselves into. It happens frequently and it has ruined a lot of media for me. (I never got started watching Game of Thrones, but from what I've heard I gather that the entirety of season 8 was a glaring example of this.)
That's one reason I mostly stick to comedy - as long as it makes me laugh I can ignore many other flaws.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:08 AM on June 10, 2023 [7 favorites]
That's one reason I mostly stick to comedy - as long as it makes me laugh I can ignore many other flaws.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:08 AM on June 10, 2023 [7 favorites]
The thing that drives me up the wall more than anything else is the ethos of "let people enjoy things" being weaponized to mean "I will brook no critique of the media I consume and anyone who does so is a joyless asshole"
posted by Ferreous at 11:37 AM on June 10, 2023 [19 favorites]
posted by Ferreous at 11:37 AM on June 10, 2023 [19 favorites]
I totally fucking can't stand Joni Mitchell, haven't since I first heard her when I was a teenager back in the sixties.
posted by mareli at 11:47 AM on June 10, 2023 [15 favorites]
posted by mareli at 11:47 AM on June 10, 2023 [15 favorites]
Pirsig.
That book is neither about zen, nor about motorcycle maintenance. It's just over 500 pages full of whining. I have only superficially looked at zen, but my overall impression is that it doesn't involve even a little whining. Maybe just none at all, but I could be mistaken there.
And motorcycle maintenance? Look, dude, if you're "one with your motorcycle", you're now somewhere around Denver, 5000ft AMSL, and you find that your bike runs shittily, you put one and one together and in less than five minutes your lightbulb should have come on illuminating the conclusion that the fuel mixture has gone totally to pot because of the thinner air (and your Honda doesn't have CV carbs). It shouldn't take three fucking days of deep contemplation, after which you decide to change the jets. No, you twonk, you start by dropping the needles as that's a good deal less involved; if that's insufficient THEN you start faffing with the jets.
Someone once gifted me Lila as a birthday present, as I "must surely have read ZATAOMM". Ah yes, yes I did, my opinion of it is [per above, roughly], and I'm simply not going to bother reading ZATAOMM pt.2, even on the off-chance it isn't ZATAOMM pt.2, a chance I considered extremely minute.
The polite thing to have done would probably have been to accept it, then toss it the next day. Instead I suggested she exchange it for something from Gould or Dennett, Hofstadter's next book, a travelogue, or basically anything else, just not ZATAOMM pt.2.
posted by Stoneshop at 11:49 AM on June 10, 2023 [17 favorites]
That book is neither about zen, nor about motorcycle maintenance. It's just over 500 pages full of whining. I have only superficially looked at zen, but my overall impression is that it doesn't involve even a little whining. Maybe just none at all, but I could be mistaken there.
And motorcycle maintenance? Look, dude, if you're "one with your motorcycle", you're now somewhere around Denver, 5000ft AMSL, and you find that your bike runs shittily, you put one and one together and in less than five minutes your lightbulb should have come on illuminating the conclusion that the fuel mixture has gone totally to pot because of the thinner air (and your Honda doesn't have CV carbs). It shouldn't take three fucking days of deep contemplation, after which you decide to change the jets. No, you twonk, you start by dropping the needles as that's a good deal less involved; if that's insufficient THEN you start faffing with the jets.
Someone once gifted me Lila as a birthday present, as I "must surely have read ZATAOMM". Ah yes, yes I did, my opinion of it is [per above, roughly], and I'm simply not going to bother reading ZATAOMM pt.2, even on the off-chance it isn't ZATAOMM pt.2, a chance I considered extremely minute.
The polite thing to have done would probably have been to accept it, then toss it the next day. Instead I suggested she exchange it for something from Gould or Dennett, Hofstadter's next book, a travelogue, or basically anything else, just not ZATAOMM pt.2.
posted by Stoneshop at 11:49 AM on June 10, 2023 [17 favorites]
Shortly out of college I had a retail job in a minor big box chain. Officially we weren't supposed to use in-store music as a promotional tool so most of the time the music came from a 10-CD changer that was set on shuffle (the company was usually wary of payola concerns, except when they made exceptions, which they did every couple months, but then after whatever paid promo they denied doing was over it was back to shuffle). The changer was usually filled by a couple managers who mostly didn't match the customer demographic (one guy put two of his preferred make-out CDs in it, the other just didn't have taste at all), but there was always at least one bone towards something that was broadly "popular." Problem was, due to some mechanical alignment issue, generally only about five of the ten CDs in the changer would actually load, so those got HEAVY rotation in the store.
Meanwhile, all the radio stations were corporatized with playlists set in Dallas or LA or wherever, and every week we'd get faxes of what was being played most often including how many times in the past week those top songs had been played. The most-played songs on the radio station I listened to in the car (which didn't have a CD player) were generally played at least 36 times a week, sometimes up to 39 times a week. I did the math and that's basically once every four hours.
So I'd drive to work and hear "Ants Marching" in the car. Then because the CD changer at work sucked, I'd hear random tracks from the Dave Matthews Band album that included "Ants Marching" while at work. Then I'd go to lunch and hear "Ants Marching" in the car. Then I'd go back to work and get shuffled up more DMB. Then I'd drive home and hear "Ants Marching" in the car again. It got to the point that I'd hear the opening drum hit and yell in horror, and hit the power button on my radio as fast as I could. At work I'd find an excuse to spend four minutes in the back room, where you couldn't hear the music.
Now that I live in DC I have multiple friends who actually knew Dave Matthews years ago, and I hear he's supposed to be a genuinely nice guy, but I cannot stand his music.
(FWIW the same radio station caused me to notice the habit corporate radio stations have, where they'll announce a band has a new album and then play the old "hit" instead of anything off the new one. The one I remember specifically is Red Hot Chili Peppers. "These guys have a great new album out now." [PLAYS "SUCK MY KISS" FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME]. They did that with Pearl Jam too ["Evenflow", always "Evenflow"] and probably a few others I've successfully suppressed after 30 years. Ugh. Radio is terrible.)
posted by fedward at 11:54 AM on June 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
Meanwhile, all the radio stations were corporatized with playlists set in Dallas or LA or wherever, and every week we'd get faxes of what was being played most often including how many times in the past week those top songs had been played. The most-played songs on the radio station I listened to in the car (which didn't have a CD player) were generally played at least 36 times a week, sometimes up to 39 times a week. I did the math and that's basically once every four hours.
So I'd drive to work and hear "Ants Marching" in the car. Then because the CD changer at work sucked, I'd hear random tracks from the Dave Matthews Band album that included "Ants Marching" while at work. Then I'd go to lunch and hear "Ants Marching" in the car. Then I'd go back to work and get shuffled up more DMB. Then I'd drive home and hear "Ants Marching" in the car again. It got to the point that I'd hear the opening drum hit and yell in horror, and hit the power button on my radio as fast as I could. At work I'd find an excuse to spend four minutes in the back room, where you couldn't hear the music.
Now that I live in DC I have multiple friends who actually knew Dave Matthews years ago, and I hear he's supposed to be a genuinely nice guy, but I cannot stand his music.
(FWIW the same radio station caused me to notice the habit corporate radio stations have, where they'll announce a band has a new album and then play the old "hit" instead of anything off the new one. The one I remember specifically is Red Hot Chili Peppers. "These guys have a great new album out now." [PLAYS "SUCK MY KISS" FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME]. They did that with Pearl Jam too ["Evenflow", always "Evenflow"] and probably a few others I've successfully suppressed after 30 years. Ugh. Radio is terrible.)
posted by fedward at 11:54 AM on June 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
lol Braveheart... I'm a Medievalist and there are a few fairly glaring inaccuracies/misrepresentations that drive me crazy.
Kilts, for instance?
posted by y2karl at 12:26 PM on June 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
Kilts, for instance?
posted by y2karl at 12:26 PM on June 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
prim, strong agree on the Otter Dynasty failings; wonder what else could have inspired this topic (agnes-harkness-wink).
Thanks for posting this Metatalktail.
Here's one from the archives. "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit." Compelling character arcs, strong roles for women, talented actors, terrific chemistry, awards awards awards -- but I can't change the channel fast enough on torture porn, and I'll never have a cat named Olivia Benson.
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:28 PM on June 10, 2023 [7 favorites]
Thanks for posting this Metatalktail.
Here's one from the archives. "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit." Compelling character arcs, strong roles for women, talented actors, terrific chemistry, awards awards awards -- but I can't change the channel fast enough on torture porn, and I'll never have a cat named Olivia Benson.
posted by Iris Gambol at 12:28 PM on June 10, 2023 [7 favorites]
My house is easter yellow, and it is one of the more boring colors in the neighborhood. The best one is the house just across the street, which just got repainted a shade right in between royal blue and navy, with brilliant white trim and a red door. Then there's the lemon yellow house down the block and the robin egg blue house around the corner. And my neighborhood isn't even the best painted one in the city.
posted by Night_owl at 12:50 PM on June 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by Night_owl at 12:50 PM on June 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
Your favorite _________ sucks.
posted by terrapin at 12:57 PM on June 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by terrapin at 12:57 PM on June 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
A large number of musicals--Rent can get straight in the sea, for instance--but most of my vitriol is saved for the works of Andrew Lloyd fucking Webber. Part of this is because I had a godawful ex who fancied herself a great singer and would break out into selections from Phantom of the Opera at the drop of a hat, but it's mostly because of his acceptance of most of his collaborators' lazy, "That'll do, pig"-level lyric writing.
For my own mental health, I refuse to believe that actual functional adult human beings committed to paper and subsequently had other adults sing on stage for real money lines like "Open up your mind/Let your fantasies unwind", which is a fucking lyrical war crime.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:26 PM on June 10, 2023 [22 favorites]
For my own mental health, I refuse to believe that actual functional adult human beings committed to paper and subsequently had other adults sing on stage for real money lines like "Open up your mind/Let your fantasies unwind", which is a fucking lyrical war crime.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:26 PM on June 10, 2023 [22 favorites]
Ready Player One. (the book, not the movie, because no way in hell am I ever watching the movie)
I didn't even hate it while reading it, but the more I thought about it the more I disliked it.
Here's some things that bugged me:
It is hamfisted with all the references. Like the lich king says "let's joust" and we've got about 1 line of reading to think "maybe it's a medieval joust" but we don't have to bother thinking that because the main character does it for us, and then they spend 2 pages explaining no it's the video game joust, and what that game is, and how in the world a kid born in the 2030's could possibly know about and give a shit about this game. And every reference is like that, it's imperative that I, the reader, catch and understand all of them, so nothing can be at all subtle.
And what's the hero's main trait that makes him win? Is he kind? Is he brave? Is he smart? Maybe some of those things a little bit, but the main thing is he heroically gives a shit about 60 year old media properties.
Okay so what's at stake here? It's a dystopian world where everything is shit, and we have a teen from the bottom of society risking his life and even losing what family and home he has to... save his favorite corporation and preserve the status quo?!?
Or maybe it's the story of a white boy and a black girl competing for a executive level position at a giant tech company where the sole hiring criterion is "culture fit". It's a whole book about gatekeeping and "prove you're a real geek" and it's presented as though that's awesome.
posted by aubilenon at 1:27 PM on June 10, 2023 [33 favorites]
I didn't even hate it while reading it, but the more I thought about it the more I disliked it.
Here's some things that bugged me:
It is hamfisted with all the references. Like the lich king says "let's joust" and we've got about 1 line of reading to think "maybe it's a medieval joust" but we don't have to bother thinking that because the main character does it for us, and then they spend 2 pages explaining no it's the video game joust, and what that game is, and how in the world a kid born in the 2030's could possibly know about and give a shit about this game. And every reference is like that, it's imperative that I, the reader, catch and understand all of them, so nothing can be at all subtle.
And what's the hero's main trait that makes him win? Is he kind? Is he brave? Is he smart? Maybe some of those things a little bit, but the main thing is he heroically gives a shit about 60 year old media properties.
Okay so what's at stake here? It's a dystopian world where everything is shit, and we have a teen from the bottom of society risking his life and even losing what family and home he has to... save his favorite corporation and preserve the status quo?!?
Or maybe it's the story of a white boy and a black girl competing for a executive level position at a giant tech company where the sole hiring criterion is "culture fit". It's a whole book about gatekeeping and "prove you're a real geek" and it's presented as though that's awesome.
posted by aubilenon at 1:27 PM on June 10, 2023 [33 favorites]
Ready Player One
I actually liked it the first time around, just as pure surface-level geek escapism. Then I read it a second time and saw the bits behind the curtain. The best thing I can say about it these days is it better than Cline's second book, Armada, which is like "What if Ready Player One, but too much?".
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:33 PM on June 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
I actually liked it the first time around, just as pure surface-level geek escapism. Then I read it a second time and saw the bits behind the curtain. The best thing I can say about it these days is it better than Cline's second book, Armada, which is like "What if Ready Player One, but too much?".
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:33 PM on June 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
"please state the nature of the medical emergency"
posted by clavdivs at 1:39 PM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 1:39 PM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
Dr. Who. I spent so many years of my life hanging out with a succession of nerds who were all like oh, there’s so many different iterations of this show, surely you have not seen the one doctor you click with yet. NO IT’S NOT THAT, I JUST DON’T LIKE THE PARTICULAR KIND OF SHOW DOCTOR WHO IS. I like multilayered storylines and moral ambiguity and giant ensemble casts and slow burns leading to big reveals. As far as I can tell from what Dr. Who I’ve seen, it doesn’t have much of all the things I like. YES I’VE EVEN SEEN BLINK, AND NO THAT DIDN’T DO IT FOR ME EITHER.
God, this makes me so defensive that I’m already feeling the need to pre-emptively add a “please don’t try to sell me on your favorite doctor” disclaimer to the end of this post. PEOPLE JUST WILL NOT GRASP THAT THIS SHOW IS NOT FOR ME.
posted by ActionPopulated at 1:44 PM on June 10, 2023 [18 favorites]
God, this makes me so defensive that I’m already feeling the need to pre-emptively add a “please don’t try to sell me on your favorite doctor” disclaimer to the end of this post. PEOPLE JUST WILL NOT GRASP THAT THIS SHOW IS NOT FOR ME.
posted by ActionPopulated at 1:44 PM on June 10, 2023 [18 favorites]
I had a godawful ex who fancied herself a great singer and would break out into selections from Phantom of the Opera at the drop of a hat
Try going through 4 years of drama school in college. (I've told the story about being the only person to NOT select an ALW song for my year-long focus during my first year in voice training - the teacher, when he heard my choice, actually said "Thank you.")
I probably have others that would only come to me when those beserk buttons get triggered, but the biggest damn one I can think of is Avatar. Both the original and its sequel. Yeahsurefine the VFX are stunning or whatever, but for the love of God could they not have been applied to a better story, or at least a better-written one?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:46 PM on June 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
Try going through 4 years of drama school in college. (I've told the story about being the only person to NOT select an ALW song for my year-long focus during my first year in voice training - the teacher, when he heard my choice, actually said "Thank you.")
I probably have others that would only come to me when those beserk buttons get triggered, but the biggest damn one I can think of is Avatar. Both the original and its sequel. Yeahsurefine the VFX are stunning or whatever, but for the love of God could they not have been applied to a better story, or at least a better-written one?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:46 PM on June 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
PRETTY. FUCKING. WOMAN.
posted by tzikeh at 2:14 PM on June 10, 2023 [13 favorites]
posted by tzikeh at 2:14 PM on June 10, 2023 [13 favorites]
There's a meme floating around on the internet, about the "big" amount of money he's paying her for the week working out to some paltry $/hour that's way less than her usual rate.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:36 PM on June 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:36 PM on June 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
Let me share my combo platter, as it's all related!
Let me start by saying I understand being upset about a thing, and especially about being upset about a version of a thing. Last year's Netflix version of Jane Austen's Persuasion was horrible. Had all of the promotion leading up to it described it as a modernization in tone (or whatever), I may have skipped it, but the sense I got from that one promo everyone was screaming about led me to think that was a funny, internetized, GenZ take on the promotion, not on the story itself.
But no, it was awful, fully of Fleabag-ized breaking of the fourth wall, drunkenness, and weirdly inexplicable conversations that, while they may or may not have been funny to some people, were not things that fit in a Jane Austen book-turned-film. (Characters behaved in ways that would have been so antithetical to the behavior of the era that it didn't make sense to do this as Persuasion; had they modernized the era to the 1920s, perhaps, it would have made some sense.)
Secondary and tertiary Austen characters say odd things on occasion, but no Austen heroine, but especially Anne Eliot, would talk to strangers about a dream she had where an octopus was accosting her in an unsavory way. Anne isn't pathologically shy like Mansfield Park's Fanny, but unlike the rest of Austen's heroines, she's no spitfire. She presses herself into the background like Homer Simpson backing into the bushes. This movie made no sense as a version of Persuasion!
(Note, not all variances with the text throw me into a Regency tizzy. In the first episode of the PBS version of Sanditon, Austen's famously unfinished novel, the heroine accidentally comes across an assignation between two characters the readers have met, though she has not. Though it is couched in forest greenery, and one wonders how much the heroine understands, she sees the woman performing fellatio on the man...and a scene later learns these two are step-siblings! I had to explain to my mother that, no, Austen had not written that particular scene in any form. But it's Sanditon! Austen only wrote 11 chapters, barely enough to introduce characters, and while Austen characters may not have done such things, humans certainly might have in that era, so it's easy to give it a pass. Basically, the PBS Sanditon is understood by one and all as fanfiction.)
My point is, I get hating a particular iteration of something you love. What I don't get are wild assertions that a particular iteration has ruined your love of the thing you allegedly, before this iteration, loved. Today, right before I read this question, a friend had been tweeting about some iteration of Transformers, the last tweet saying, "The more I think about Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, the angrier I get. This is Star Trek Into Darkness all over again. That movie killed Star Trek for me."
?
This, I don't get. If you eat a salty pie, does it put you off pies forever? If you don't like on of the Marvel movies, do you eschew superhero stuff (or even Marvel stuff)? I just don't get how an iteration can put someone off something they actually love.
I am feeling very harrumphy about all of this!
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 2:53 PM on June 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
Let me start by saying I understand being upset about a thing, and especially about being upset about a version of a thing. Last year's Netflix version of Jane Austen's Persuasion was horrible. Had all of the promotion leading up to it described it as a modernization in tone (or whatever), I may have skipped it, but the sense I got from that one promo everyone was screaming about led me to think that was a funny, internetized, GenZ take on the promotion, not on the story itself.
But no, it was awful, fully of Fleabag-ized breaking of the fourth wall, drunkenness, and weirdly inexplicable conversations that, while they may or may not have been funny to some people, were not things that fit in a Jane Austen book-turned-film. (Characters behaved in ways that would have been so antithetical to the behavior of the era that it didn't make sense to do this as Persuasion; had they modernized the era to the 1920s, perhaps, it would have made some sense.)
Secondary and tertiary Austen characters say odd things on occasion, but no Austen heroine, but especially Anne Eliot, would talk to strangers about a dream she had where an octopus was accosting her in an unsavory way. Anne isn't pathologically shy like Mansfield Park's Fanny, but unlike the rest of Austen's heroines, she's no spitfire. She presses herself into the background like Homer Simpson backing into the bushes. This movie made no sense as a version of Persuasion!
(Note, not all variances with the text throw me into a Regency tizzy. In the first episode of the PBS version of Sanditon, Austen's famously unfinished novel, the heroine accidentally comes across an assignation between two characters the readers have met, though she has not. Though it is couched in forest greenery, and one wonders how much the heroine understands, she sees the woman performing fellatio on the man...and a scene later learns these two are step-siblings! I had to explain to my mother that, no, Austen had not written that particular scene in any form. But it's Sanditon! Austen only wrote 11 chapters, barely enough to introduce characters, and while Austen characters may not have done such things, humans certainly might have in that era, so it's easy to give it a pass. Basically, the PBS Sanditon is understood by one and all as fanfiction.)
My point is, I get hating a particular iteration of something you love. What I don't get are wild assertions that a particular iteration has ruined your love of the thing you allegedly, before this iteration, loved. Today, right before I read this question, a friend had been tweeting about some iteration of Transformers, the last tweet saying, "The more I think about Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, the angrier I get. This is Star Trek Into Darkness all over again. That movie killed Star Trek for me."
?
This, I don't get. If you eat a salty pie, does it put you off pies forever? If you don't like on of the Marvel movies, do you eschew superhero stuff (or even Marvel stuff)? I just don't get how an iteration can put someone off something they actually love.
I am feeling very harrumphy about all of this!
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 2:53 PM on June 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
Thank you for the opportunity to confess my visceral hatred of:
Bob Dylan
Quentin Tarantino
Liz Phair
People say whhhhhhyyyyy? Whattabout? And they try to force me to choke down yet another piece of their overrated meh. “You’ll like this one.” Just no. And don’t get me started on the blandest, most tedious cash grab in the history of modern music: the Traveling Fucking Wilburys.
I feel better now.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 3:23 PM on June 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
Bob Dylan
Quentin Tarantino
Liz Phair
People say whhhhhhyyyyy? Whattabout? And they try to force me to choke down yet another piece of their overrated meh. “You’ll like this one.” Just no. And don’t get me started on the blandest, most tedious cash grab in the history of modern music: the Traveling Fucking Wilburys.
I feel better now.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 3:23 PM on June 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
+1 to Andrew Lloyd Webber. Any jackass could write lyrics like he does, but most of us have the good sense not to.
“Blue Monday” by New Order, and the Communion hymn “I am the Bread of Life” both irritate the hell out of me, oddly for the same reason. The melodies sound like the creators pulled them out of their asses, without any energy or effort.
Even the child’s taunt “nyah-nyah nyah nyah-nyah” demonstrates a better understanding of musical tension and resolution than those stinkers. (And the words are more thought-provoking than anything Webber wrote.)
posted by armeowda at 4:11 PM on June 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
“Blue Monday” by New Order, and the Communion hymn “I am the Bread of Life” both irritate the hell out of me, oddly for the same reason. The melodies sound like the creators pulled them out of their asses, without any energy or effort.
Even the child’s taunt “nyah-nyah nyah nyah-nyah” demonstrates a better understanding of musical tension and resolution than those stinkers. (And the words are more thought-provoking than anything Webber wrote.)
posted by armeowda at 4:11 PM on June 10, 2023 [1 favorite]
I absolutely gnash my teeth whenever I see yet another historical novel featuring Jack the (literally) bloody Ripper. Jack as the central focus is just unbelievably boring! There are a handful of really interesting attempts to grapple with the Ripper case--Alan Moore's From Hell is the best-known example, but Paul West at least made an attempt to do something different with The Women of White Chapel and Jack the Ripper, and Michael Dibdin's The Last Sherlock Holmes Story uses Jack for a good meta reflection on the Holmes mythos--but Ripper novels usually devolve into bizarre conspiracy theorizing and not much else.
posted by thomas j wise at 4:34 PM on June 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by thomas j wise at 4:34 PM on June 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
This is maybe the opposite of what you asked for, but: I can’t get my best friend or my parents to watch Taskmaster! What the hell is wrong with them!?
posted by moonmilk at 4:40 PM on June 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by moonmilk at 4:40 PM on June 10, 2023 [6 favorites]
Musical theater in general, with very, very few exceptions.I just don’t like the concept of it. I like, as best as possible, realist theater, where people don’t break into song to highlight plot points. The utter lack of narrative subtlety (ooh, a musical cue, something important must be about to happen!), and in a lot of plays, characters aren’t singing about themselves and their inner thoughts, they’re just telling the audience what the writer thinks about the scene, the character, and the moment, often totally out of character, or what would be if the cardboard cutout characters had any inner depth. Bah. (Bear in mind, I said I have a few exceptions, please don’t start offering suggestions, really)
But really? Reality cooking shows (and, you know, the genre of reality tv in general) a friend mentioned how much they liked the Netflix bbq show, and I tried, I really did. I watched part of season 1 a while back, but reality tv is just so exhausting. From the tiresome need to have certain types of contestants (sweet Jesus, the Long Island “sawce” woman) and the gimmicks, with no real information about what a cook is actually doing that makes it worthwhile.
My idea for an honest, good bbq show: a the host of the show travels to different bbq contest each week, so you get a real cross section of the country. Of course, you do Memphis in May, and the big contests, but you even do little contests, like neighborhood or church contests. The series has a host with enough experience and knowledge about cooking to be helpful and educational, but understands that their job is to host the show without being the center of it. Each week, they have a different co-host who’s from the area the episode is filmed in, and *that* person should be a legitimate god of barbecue.
Each episode is split into several parts, with the host and cohost interviewing participants in the contest, finding out what brought them to bbq, what their showpiece is, what they have the most pride in, and how hard they worked at it. Another part would be the host and cohost at a restaurant in the area, either one the cohost loved as a child, or an up and coming place, or a guy who cooks in his front yard for donations.
The last segment of the show is the cohost teaching the viewer how to make their signature barbecue. Get someone walking the viewer through doing ribs, explaining the difference between competition style and not, not lecturing, but explaining every step, every choice, and why they made it. Do they wrap or not? Do they sauce, or serve them dry?
Get an old Texan who shows the whole process of making the red hots (sausage), someone from the Carolinas with a couple giant cleavers and a cutting board that looks more like a bowl from all the years of use it’s seen, explaining chopped pork from a whole hog.
Fuck, I’d watch the shit out of a show like that.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:40 PM on June 10, 2023 [18 favorites]
But really? Reality cooking shows (and, you know, the genre of reality tv in general) a friend mentioned how much they liked the Netflix bbq show, and I tried, I really did. I watched part of season 1 a while back, but reality tv is just so exhausting. From the tiresome need to have certain types of contestants (sweet Jesus, the Long Island “sawce” woman) and the gimmicks, with no real information about what a cook is actually doing that makes it worthwhile.
My idea for an honest, good bbq show: a the host of the show travels to different bbq contest each week, so you get a real cross section of the country. Of course, you do Memphis in May, and the big contests, but you even do little contests, like neighborhood or church contests. The series has a host with enough experience and knowledge about cooking to be helpful and educational, but understands that their job is to host the show without being the center of it. Each week, they have a different co-host who’s from the area the episode is filmed in, and *that* person should be a legitimate god of barbecue.
Each episode is split into several parts, with the host and cohost interviewing participants in the contest, finding out what brought them to bbq, what their showpiece is, what they have the most pride in, and how hard they worked at it. Another part would be the host and cohost at a restaurant in the area, either one the cohost loved as a child, or an up and coming place, or a guy who cooks in his front yard for donations.
The last segment of the show is the cohost teaching the viewer how to make their signature barbecue. Get someone walking the viewer through doing ribs, explaining the difference between competition style and not, not lecturing, but explaining every step, every choice, and why they made it. Do they wrap or not? Do they sauce, or serve them dry?
Get an old Texan who shows the whole process of making the red hots (sausage), someone from the Carolinas with a couple giant cleavers and a cutting board that looks more like a bowl from all the years of use it’s seen, explaining chopped pork from a whole hog.
Fuck, I’d watch the shit out of a show like that.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:40 PM on June 10, 2023 [18 favorites]
Metafilter: I get a lot of joy out of really hating a thing sometimes.
posted by sammyo at 5:02 PM on June 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 5:02 PM on June 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
Oh, and Jesus H. CHRIST on a POGO STICK, I am SICK to DEATH of CHRISTMAS MUSIC!! ALL OF IT!!! I'm sure that will press a few people's buttons but I have been emboldened to speak my personal truth in this thread.
For the entire month of December every goddamn year decade after decade over and over and over, it's like fucking dripping-water torture directly on my brain. I understand that Christmas is all about comfort and familiar traditions and such, but can't we at least have evolving new seasonal music instead of the same old tired carols and sappy 40's and 50's crooners and that tiresome Mariah Carey song? The only way I can go to the grocery or liquor store during December is with noise-canceling earbuds to drown out the repetitive canned music (and thank the Cosmos for online gift shopping).
For myself, on Christmas Eve only, after a couple drinks I'll play ONE of 3 or 4 jazz CDs of Christmas music (that at least have some interestingly fresh arrangements and solos) plus just three specific songs from Vince Gueraldi's Charlie Brown Christmas special and let myself get a bit maudlin. Then I'm DONE WITH CHRISTMAS. PERIOD. Sock all those CDs away for another year lest I get bored of them.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:39 PM on June 10, 2023 [30 favorites]
For the entire month of December every goddamn year decade after decade over and over and over, it's like fucking dripping-water torture directly on my brain. I understand that Christmas is all about comfort and familiar traditions and such, but can't we at least have evolving new seasonal music instead of the same old tired carols and sappy 40's and 50's crooners and that tiresome Mariah Carey song? The only way I can go to the grocery or liquor store during December is with noise-canceling earbuds to drown out the repetitive canned music (and thank the Cosmos for online gift shopping).
For myself, on Christmas Eve only, after a couple drinks I'll play ONE of 3 or 4 jazz CDs of Christmas music (that at least have some interestingly fresh arrangements and solos) plus just three specific songs from Vince Gueraldi's Charlie Brown Christmas special and let myself get a bit maudlin. Then I'm DONE WITH CHRISTMAS. PERIOD. Sock all those CDs away for another year lest I get bored of them.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:39 PM on June 10, 2023 [30 favorites]
ActionPopulated, speaking as someone who loves Doctor Who, I also totally get why someone would completely bounce off of it. It is specifically the thing that it is, and if that’s not your thing, it is really and very gonna not be your thing.
Sometimes it isn’t even mine. I like General Tso’s chicken but I can’t eat it every day. I don’t even eat that stuff more than once a year anymore.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 5:56 PM on June 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
Sometimes it isn’t even mine. I like General Tso’s chicken but I can’t eat it every day. I don’t even eat that stuff more than once a year anymore.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 5:56 PM on June 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
Dune. Fucking Dune. I cannot abide that book. Shred that book and dump it in the fucking sea.
It is sexist. (Its final line makes me want to throw things.) It is racist. It is fatphobic. It is homophobic. Its writing style -- "turgid" would be an immense kindness.
Yet somehow Hollyweird keeps trying to adapt that pile of feculent bile, keeping it in the public consciousness. Please. Let. It. FUCKING. Die. Already.
posted by humbug at 5:59 PM on June 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
It is sexist. (Its final line makes me want to throw things.) It is racist. It is fatphobic. It is homophobic. Its writing style -- "turgid" would be an immense kindness.
Yet somehow Hollyweird keeps trying to adapt that pile of feculent bile, keeping it in the public consciousness. Please. Let. It. FUCKING. Die. Already.
posted by humbug at 5:59 PM on June 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
My Thing That I Hate is probably football. I mean, there are more things than that but, goddamn.
I don’t even like being in the room with people talking about it.
There is something that comes over the way a person talks, an intonation, a cadence, a stance, I’m not sure what, exactly, but it makes me want to run screaming from the room.
And I lived in Pittsburgh for a long time. I couldn’t convince people that I never watched football. And I mean I have never willingly been in the room while football was on, and have never paid attention to a game of football.
I don’t know the names of players.
I am sure I don’t know the names of all the teams.
I don’t even know the basics of how the game works. I mean the very basics, that two teams of people move a ball around and score points, but not much better than that.
And I don’t really want to know.
I could go on, but I won’t, because as I get older (I hope that’s what it is), the intensity of my feelings about stuff that I used to have really strong feelings about has softened considerably. I don’t find it worth getting worked up about whether I like something or not.
But I am never going to be interested in football.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 6:10 PM on June 10, 2023 [11 favorites]
I don’t even like being in the room with people talking about it.
There is something that comes over the way a person talks, an intonation, a cadence, a stance, I’m not sure what, exactly, but it makes me want to run screaming from the room.
And I lived in Pittsburgh for a long time. I couldn’t convince people that I never watched football. And I mean I have never willingly been in the room while football was on, and have never paid attention to a game of football.
I don’t know the names of players.
I am sure I don’t know the names of all the teams.
I don’t even know the basics of how the game works. I mean the very basics, that two teams of people move a ball around and score points, but not much better than that.
And I don’t really want to know.
I could go on, but I won’t, because as I get older (I hope that’s what it is), the intensity of my feelings about stuff that I used to have really strong feelings about has softened considerably. I don’t find it worth getting worked up about whether I like something or not.
But I am never going to be interested in football.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 6:10 PM on June 10, 2023 [11 favorites]
Hahaha my favorite thing about Dune: they realize the hero is the Chosen One because he can put his pants on correctly. It’s the ultimate Gary Stu!
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 6:18 PM on June 10, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 6:18 PM on June 10, 2023 [7 favorites]
The movie Signs. Yes, I know it's an allegory. That doesn't excuse the gaping hole in the aliens' plan of invading a planet whose surface is mostly water, upon which water may often just fall from the sky, without wearing some kind of protection. It really, really irritates me to think about.
This isn't something I dislike, but I will always rant about it. Star Trek: The Next Generation is my favorite TV show. I've watched through the entire series many times and will watch it many more. The episode The Offspring, the one in which Data creates a child, has this scene in which Lal is making her final decisions on her appearance. It begins with Troy, asleep on the floor in a corner, and Data waking her.
Troy, asleep on the floor in a corner.
Of the holodeck.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:23 PM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
This isn't something I dislike, but I will always rant about it. Star Trek: The Next Generation is my favorite TV show. I've watched through the entire series many times and will watch it many more. The episode The Offspring, the one in which Data creates a child, has this scene in which Lal is making her final decisions on her appearance. It begins with Troy, asleep on the floor in a corner, and Data waking her.
Troy, asleep on the floor in a corner.
Of the holodeck.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:23 PM on June 10, 2023 [5 favorites]
The Beatles. Average musicians in the right place at the right time. Can't see where the love for the Beatles is coming from.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:44 PM on June 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:44 PM on June 10, 2023 [12 favorites]
The Beatles don’t really do it for me, but I accept the fact of their importance. But the Beach Boys? Oh my fucking god, I hate the Beach Boys. I hate Good Vibrations and I hate fun fun fun till daddy takes the tblrd away and I hate the fucking sloop John B. and I hate god only knows and I hate those falsetto harmonies and I hate surfing and I hate blond hair and I hate bikinis and in conclusion I hate everything about the Beach Boys including their music and everything they represent. Also I don’t think Brian Wilson is a genius. The end.
posted by scratch at 6:52 PM on June 10, 2023 [15 favorites]
posted by scratch at 6:52 PM on June 10, 2023 [15 favorites]
Toy Story 3 made me really angry. My husband was watching it with my toddler, I made him turn it off at the incineration scene. JFC can people not write a god damned children's cartoon without using Nazi death camps as an lil' crutch to make their scene impactful?
Also any movie or book that uses the murder of a child as an incidental "a bad thing happened." I remember one particularly grotesque example of this in a 90s movie called Beyond Rangoon where the heroine (a doctor who can't handle the sight of blood! yes really) walks into her home to find her six year old with his throat slit lying on her living room floor, and that's just to give her an Inciting Incident to go to Burma and do some white savior bullshit that I don't know exactly what it was because I left the theater and had to wait for my friend for two hours in the lobby. Was it over 20 years ago? Yes. Am I still mad? Also yes.
On the other hand I have no problem with treacly pop music. I don't need stuff to be deep. I just don't want it to be manipulative and gross.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:04 PM on June 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
Also any movie or book that uses the murder of a child as an incidental "a bad thing happened." I remember one particularly grotesque example of this in a 90s movie called Beyond Rangoon where the heroine (a doctor who can't handle the sight of blood! yes really) walks into her home to find her six year old with his throat slit lying on her living room floor, and that's just to give her an Inciting Incident to go to Burma and do some white savior bullshit that I don't know exactly what it was because I left the theater and had to wait for my friend for two hours in the lobby. Was it over 20 years ago? Yes. Am I still mad? Also yes.
On the other hand I have no problem with treacly pop music. I don't need stuff to be deep. I just don't want it to be manipulative and gross.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:04 PM on June 10, 2023 [8 favorites]
I do not play video games. To be clear I did spend many happy hours in the mall arcade when I was a wee lass, back in the late 70s and early 80s. God I loved it. I played so many games, spent so many quarters in those darkened corners.
But now, I have ZERO interest in video games. Don't care. Not a teeny-tiny bit. I have seen people play a few games, and I see you all post about various games, and nothing appeals to me. I was dating a guy several years ago who tried to get me into some game, and I can't even remember the name of it. That's how little of an impression it made.
So these days I play mah jong on my phone and that is it. Seriously.
If I could just make all the video game FPPs go away, I would happily pay for that.
I suppose it makes me seem even older and whiter and more stodgy than I already am, but I'd rather ride my bike or watch an old movie.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 7:14 PM on June 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
But now, I have ZERO interest in video games. Don't care. Not a teeny-tiny bit. I have seen people play a few games, and I see you all post about various games, and nothing appeals to me. I was dating a guy several years ago who tried to get me into some game, and I can't even remember the name of it. That's how little of an impression it made.
So these days I play mah jong on my phone and that is it. Seriously.
If I could just make all the video game FPPs go away, I would happily pay for that.
I suppose it makes me seem even older and whiter and more stodgy than I already am, but I'd rather ride my bike or watch an old movie.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 7:14 PM on June 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
Toy Story 3 made me really angry.
Toy Story 2 was okay.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:27 PM on June 10, 2023
Toy Story 2 was okay.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:27 PM on June 10, 2023
Greg_Ace, I'm with you, and I am completely baffled by people who enjoy it, as, like, a whole genre. The only exception were the Venture Brothers covers, and Jingle Rock Bell, and these, for the novelty.
Anyway, my low-stakes but somewhat irrational hate is for Memphis Milano art. All of it. I hate the pediatrician waiting room aesthetic and the era of trickle-down capitalism it is associated with and the bad shapes not meant for human use. I went to a museum once with a whole display of it and I just skipped the entire thing.
posted by cobaltnine at 7:32 PM on June 10, 2023
Anyway, my low-stakes but somewhat irrational hate is for Memphis Milano art. All of it. I hate the pediatrician waiting room aesthetic and the era of trickle-down capitalism it is associated with and the bad shapes not meant for human use. I went to a museum once with a whole display of it and I just skipped the entire thing.
posted by cobaltnine at 7:32 PM on June 10, 2023
I have three of these:
For a very minor dislike, I hate it when authors do the "dear reader" thing and address me directly. If I wanted a monologue directed at me, I'd listen to a podcast or talk to some drunk in a bar.
Comic book movies. Or more specifically, comic book movies as entertainment for grownups. I am married to a person who likes comic book movies so I bite my tongue about this in real life, but I just don't see comic book movies as an age-appropriate interest for anyone out of high school. Aesthetically and thematically they are simply terrible.
And musicals (films and theater) -- it's not my thing and like nails on a blackboard aesthetically for me. There was an FPP here a little while back centered on some musical performance that I watched part of. Every single person in it had the same pasted-on fake grin while singing, which seemed completely unnatural and creepy, over and above the goofy music and dancing
All of these are things that completely reasonable people love and I try to not say mean things about because it's ok to like even objectively terrible things (I certainly do!). But I'll never understand and will never share those interests.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:57 PM on June 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
For a very minor dislike, I hate it when authors do the "dear reader" thing and address me directly. If I wanted a monologue directed at me, I'd listen to a podcast or talk to some drunk in a bar.
Comic book movies. Or more specifically, comic book movies as entertainment for grownups. I am married to a person who likes comic book movies so I bite my tongue about this in real life, but I just don't see comic book movies as an age-appropriate interest for anyone out of high school. Aesthetically and thematically they are simply terrible.
And musicals (films and theater) -- it's not my thing and like nails on a blackboard aesthetically for me. There was an FPP here a little while back centered on some musical performance that I watched part of. Every single person in it had the same pasted-on fake grin while singing, which seemed completely unnatural and creepy, over and above the goofy music and dancing
All of these are things that completely reasonable people love and I try to not say mean things about because it's ok to like even objectively terrible things (I certainly do!). But I'll never understand and will never share those interests.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:57 PM on June 10, 2023 [4 favorites]
armeowda: +1 to Andrew Lloyd Webber. Any jackass could write lyrics like he does, but most of us have the good sense not to.
Hey, I have a (mostly) big hate on ALW as well (though JCS is pretty awesome), but let's give yuck where yuck is due -- the guy writes the music, not the lyrics.
posted by tzikeh at 8:10 PM on June 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
Hey, I have a (mostly) big hate on ALW as well (though JCS is pretty awesome), but let's give yuck where yuck is due -- the guy writes the music, not the lyrics.
posted by tzikeh at 8:10 PM on June 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
I love Leonard Cohen, but for the love of all that is good and holy there needs to be a hundred-year moratorium on covers of "Hallelujah". No college-a-capella-group covers. No smooth jazz covers (heard this one in a bar in Stuart, FL last week, no kidding!) No earnest elderly men at open mic night covers. All of y'all, cut it out. Give that poor old song a rest.
Also, I am declaring an absolute ban on playing the song "Piano Man" if the instrument you are playing is not a piano. Sorry! If you are playing an acoustic guitar, you don't get to play "Piano Man" (and if you are in a bar listening to someone playing an acoustic guitar, please don't request "Piano Man." It's not a piano!)
And while I'm here, have I mentioned how much I loathe "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)"? Those two lousy cheating cheaters deserve each other!
posted by Daily Alice at 8:21 PM on June 10, 2023 [26 favorites]
Also, I am declaring an absolute ban on playing the song "Piano Man" if the instrument you are playing is not a piano. Sorry! If you are playing an acoustic guitar, you don't get to play "Piano Man" (and if you are in a bar listening to someone playing an acoustic guitar, please don't request "Piano Man." It's not a piano!)
And while I'm here, have I mentioned how much I loathe "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)"? Those two lousy cheating cheaters deserve each other!
posted by Daily Alice at 8:21 PM on June 10, 2023 [26 favorites]
PRETTY. FUCKING. WOMAN.
posted by tzikeh at 4:14 PM
There's a meme floating around on the internet, about the "big" amount of money he's paying her for the week working out to some paltry $/hour that's way less than her usual rate.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:36 PM
THAT IS THE LEAST OF MY CONCERNS.
posted by tzikeh at 8:22 PM on June 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by tzikeh at 4:14 PM
There's a meme floating around on the internet, about the "big" amount of money he's paying her for the week working out to some paltry $/hour that's way less than her usual rate.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:36 PM
THAT IS THE LEAST OF MY CONCERNS.
posted by tzikeh at 8:22 PM on June 10, 2023 [9 favorites]
Also, I am declaring an absolute ban on playing the song "Piano Man" if the instrument you are playing is not a piano.
I don't hate the Beach Boys and, in fact, saw them at the Paramount in Seattle in about 1973 when Blondie Chaplin was in the group. Which was when they were at their Sail on Sailor and Smiley Smile all time peak, imho. But Mr. Piano Man himself, Billy Joel was the opening act and he was still in his pre-King of Rock lounge act mode and played said song on piano -- which was a total horrorshow as far as we were concerned -- to an endless audience choral duet of You suck! and Shut up! throughout his whole set.
We were not happy and he was not happy with his presence there.
posted by y2karl at 9:03 PM on June 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
I don't hate the Beach Boys and, in fact, saw them at the Paramount in Seattle in about 1973 when Blondie Chaplin was in the group. Which was when they were at their Sail on Sailor and Smiley Smile all time peak, imho. But Mr. Piano Man himself, Billy Joel was the opening act and he was still in his pre-King of Rock lounge act mode and played said song on piano -- which was a total horrorshow as far as we were concerned -- to an endless audience choral duet of You suck! and Shut up! throughout his whole set.
We were not happy and he was not happy with his presence there.
posted by y2karl at 9:03 PM on June 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
I have always thought I was ahead of the curve in two specific hatreds of mine, both of which hatreds go way way back pre-internet:
- The Big Lebowski. Saw it in the theater and still think it's easily the most overrated Coen Brothers movie. It's deeply uninteresting, not particularly funny or clever, and the rabid fandom that has built up around it just blows my mind.
- Morrissey/The Smiths. Considering that my musical likes encompass pretty much every "alternative" band of that era and subsequent years, one would think I would love the Smiths, they're right in my wheelhouse. One would be very, very wrong. I've detested Morrissey and the Smiths since 1986, and that fire still burns bright to this day.
My third main hatred is Field of Dreams. I'm a huge baseball fan, and this overly simplistic boomer schlock-fest about How Baseball Heals Us All Because Dad Finally Played Catch With Me just makes me want to set things on fire every time I see it. IT'S SO BAD Y'ALL.
posted by pdb at 10:04 PM on June 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
- The Big Lebowski. Saw it in the theater and still think it's easily the most overrated Coen Brothers movie. It's deeply uninteresting, not particularly funny or clever, and the rabid fandom that has built up around it just blows my mind.
- Morrissey/The Smiths. Considering that my musical likes encompass pretty much every "alternative" band of that era and subsequent years, one would think I would love the Smiths, they're right in my wheelhouse. One would be very, very wrong. I've detested Morrissey and the Smiths since 1986, and that fire still burns bright to this day.
My third main hatred is Field of Dreams. I'm a huge baseball fan, and this overly simplistic boomer schlock-fest about How Baseball Heals Us All Because Dad Finally Played Catch With Me just makes me want to set things on fire every time I see it. IT'S SO BAD Y'ALL.
posted by pdb at 10:04 PM on June 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
I had a good hate on but I’ve been enjoying all y’all’s so much I forget what mine was.
posted by clew at 10:20 PM on June 10, 2023 [22 favorites]
posted by clew at 10:20 PM on June 10, 2023 [22 favorites]
Asimov.
Foundation, specifically. I can't think of a single worse book to give someone today to interest them in sci-fi, and yet it appears over and over as a recommendation. Written by a kid with an absurdly simplistic understanding of sociology that rivals the absurd simplicity of Ayn Rand, with a ridiculous plot and wafer-thin characters and pretty much nothing to pull it out of the dated sexist schlock of so much scfi of that era.
Toss it out. The whole trilogy or heptology or whatever the hell it ended up being. That it got chosen in 2021 for a Prestige Speculative Fiction Apple series over so many smarter books was a crime.
posted by mediareport at 10:32 PM on June 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
Foundation, specifically. I can't think of a single worse book to give someone today to interest them in sci-fi, and yet it appears over and over as a recommendation. Written by a kid with an absurdly simplistic understanding of sociology that rivals the absurd simplicity of Ayn Rand, with a ridiculous plot and wafer-thin characters and pretty much nothing to pull it out of the dated sexist schlock of so much scfi of that era.
Toss it out. The whole trilogy or heptology or whatever the hell it ended up being. That it got chosen in 2021 for a Prestige Speculative Fiction Apple series over so many smarter books was a crime.
posted by mediareport at 10:32 PM on June 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
I don't have much vitriolic hate for most media because I just refuse to watch shows or listen to popular music. My big hatred is reserved for those loud fucking gas leaf blowers. I am the only person on my block who does their own yardwork. Everybody hires yard crews which always include 2-3 fuckers running leaf blowers for at least a half hour. Except the guy that lives nextdoor has a xeriscaped yard and they blow for an hour every week. There is no day of the week or hour of the day that is free of this obnoxious crap.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:48 PM on June 10, 2023 [24 favorites]
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:48 PM on June 10, 2023 [24 favorites]
No smooth jazz covers (heard this one in a bar in Stuart, FL last week, no kidding!)
Well, that's your fault for being in godforsaken Stuart FL.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:53 PM on June 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
Well, that's your fault for being in godforsaken Stuart FL.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:53 PM on June 10, 2023 [3 favorites]
clew: I had a good hate on but I’ve been enjoying all y’all’s so much I forget what mine was.
One could really hate that.
posted by Stoneshop at 12:39 AM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
One could really hate that.
posted by Stoneshop at 12:39 AM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
Sweet Caroline. Just typing the words is…
posted by Phanx at 12:45 AM on June 11, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by Phanx at 12:45 AM on June 11, 2023 [6 favorites]
I'm not much of a hater; I either enjoy things to some degree, or don't care / partake. Mostly #2. However, I very much dislike Brutalist art / architecture.
But hey, they straight-up call it brutalist, so I figure I'm not enjoying it correctly.
posted by taz (staff) at 2:32 AM on June 11, 2023 [9 favorites]
But hey, they straight-up call it brutalist, so I figure I'm not enjoying it correctly.
posted by taz (staff) at 2:32 AM on June 11, 2023 [9 favorites]
Sports. All of them. I don't mind playing a few games but the watching and nattering on about it. The nationalism-lite attitudes and allegiances. It's one of the reasons I finally left twitter. It wouldn't leave me alone about the sportsball no matter what topics or accounts I blocked. I DON'T CARE WHO WON!
posted by Stanczyk at 5:30 AM on June 11, 2023 [18 favorites]
posted by Stanczyk at 5:30 AM on June 11, 2023 [18 favorites]
Michael Jackson's music. I hated it when it was super popular and he was a huge star everyone loved and I still hate it. I hate his annoying high voice. The songs are tuneless and repetitive, just a boring beat to dance to with some filler vocals, not the least bit interesting in any way. Or so they seem to me.
posted by Redstart at 6:21 AM on June 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by Redstart at 6:21 AM on June 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
Foundation, specifically. I can't think of a single worse book to give someone today to interest them in sci-fi, and yet it appears over and over as a recommendation. Written by a kid with an absurdly simplistic understanding of sociology that rivals the absurd simplicity of Ayn Rand, with a ridiculous plot and wafer-thin characters and pretty much nothing to pull it out of the dated sexist schlock of so much scfi of that era.
Foundation seems to me like the kind of book the Unabomber might have liked.
However, I very much dislike Brutalist art / architecture.
But hey, they straight-up call it brutalist, so I figure I'm not enjoying it correctly.
It's pretty much the BDSM of architecture, more of an "Oh baby, hurt me so good!" pleasure. So wrong, and ye (for some people) t so right.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:59 AM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
Foundation seems to me like the kind of book the Unabomber might have liked.
However, I very much dislike Brutalist art / architecture.
But hey, they straight-up call it brutalist, so I figure I'm not enjoying it correctly.
It's pretty much the BDSM of architecture, more of an "Oh baby, hurt me so good!" pleasure. So wrong, and ye (for some people) t so right.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:59 AM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
Well, that's your fault for being in godforsaken Stuart FL.
Can't argue with you there.
posted by Daily Alice at 7:18 AM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
Can't argue with you there.
posted by Daily Alice at 7:18 AM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
oh, is this a safe space where I can say this out loud? Agree so hard w above comment re comics as a thing for anyone over 14. Come the fuck on. This includes "graphic novels" (COME ON) and comic book movies. I have to keep quiet about this because I live in Silicon Valley and everyone around me seems to think this stuff is just great, but no. No. Come on.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:42 AM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:42 AM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
Seveneves. It's pro-eugenics but also incredibly dumb. Absolutely stupid. It's predicted on the idea that for 5000 years people only sleep with their relatives and not the other humans around. It gets into Neil DeGrasse Tyson's sex life. Elon Musk is portrayed as a self-sacrificing hero. Like I said, nothing so off base has ever been written.
Like with many of your complaints in this thread, the truly worst part is that people I respect ENJOYED it.
posted by tofu_crouton at 8:03 AM on June 11, 2023 [14 favorites]
Like with many of your complaints in this thread, the truly worst part is that people I respect ENJOYED it.
posted by tofu_crouton at 8:03 AM on June 11, 2023 [14 favorites]
+1 on Dave Matthews Band, Pearl Jam, ugh. Agreed that the songwriting genius of Brian Wilson is overated. The "Put the Lime in the Coconut" song. (Nillson?) UGH. All autotuned pop. Sports and sports fans. I have flat out interrupted people talking at me about the performance of their team, stating "I don't follow sports" and they immediately pick right back up where they left off without missing a beat. I think it's because a shared interest in sports usually bridges a lot of gaps-social class- ethnicity etc that people simply cannot comprehend that a man might not GAF about sports. Someone is better at throwing a ball and or running than someone else? I'd rather discuss the weather.
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 8:57 AM on June 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 8:57 AM on June 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
I'm enjoying all this hate so much!
Me: when sharing food & bevs with friends in their 40's, and they get to the point where they just have to sing toy commercials, cereal commercials, cartoon toy theme songs, and very very stupid tv theme songs. Talk about the goddamn good old days. Totally lose their minds and repeat stupid capitalist mantras from their indoctrinated entitled childhoods. It's unbelievably tiresome, this race to be 10 years old forever.
posted by winesong at 8:58 AM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
Me: when sharing food & bevs with friends in their 40's, and they get to the point where they just have to sing toy commercials, cereal commercials, cartoon toy theme songs, and very very stupid tv theme songs. Talk about the goddamn good old days. Totally lose their minds and repeat stupid capitalist mantras from their indoctrinated entitled childhoods. It's unbelievably tiresome, this race to be 10 years old forever.
posted by winesong at 8:58 AM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
It's really easy to boycott J.K. Rowling because Harry Potter is just shit! Calling it derivative is an insult to the concept of deriving things. I'd rather hear you drone on about your zodiac sign than your damn hogwart's house. I resent that I even have to know what those last two words mean.
posted by East14thTaco at 9:09 AM on June 11, 2023 [18 favorites]
posted by East14thTaco at 9:09 AM on June 11, 2023 [18 favorites]
Pan's Labyrinth. Everyone seems to love it, but I don't love a movie where a kid gets shot in the back, dream sequence, real sequence, to illustrate a villain's villainy, or not. I didn't even have kids at the time and thought that was a bridge too far.
The Time Traveller's Wife. Just ick. I hated the book, wouldn't go near the movie. The style of it, the meeting your beloved as a child, it felt like actual grooming (when that word is thrown around way too much these days.)
I liked Tarantino movies as much as anyone when I was a lot younger, but I don't like them anymore. People whose taste overlaps significantly with mine raved about OUATIH and when I watched it, just seemed to go on and on and on and on. And he definitely has Issues. Lots of them. And I don't find watching them in his movies entertaining.
posted by 41swans at 9:25 AM on June 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
The Time Traveller's Wife. Just ick. I hated the book, wouldn't go near the movie. The style of it, the meeting your beloved as a child, it felt like actual grooming (when that word is thrown around way too much these days.)
I liked Tarantino movies as much as anyone when I was a lot younger, but I don't like them anymore. People whose taste overlaps significantly with mine raved about OUATIH and when I watched it, just seemed to go on and on and on and on. And he definitely has Issues. Lots of them. And I don't find watching them in his movies entertaining.
posted by 41swans at 9:25 AM on June 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
This is more annoyance than hate, but I would like to carp about Little Fires Everywhere. It read like an educational text in story form meant to be used in a high school class on racial and social justice issues. There was no risk of missing the lesson because the author helpfully assigned all the correct opinions to cool, likeable characters and the incorrect opinions to characters who were selfish, shallow or unlikable. When I read a novel I'm looking for something way less didactic.
posted by Redstart at 9:27 AM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Redstart at 9:27 AM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
Agree with you big time about Seveneves, tofu_crouton.
I thought it was worse than stupid, I thought it was immoral, entirely set up to make global disaster seem cool really. And - cool because it would lead to objective racial differences! “Hey, the Jackpot is worth it because finally discrimination will be OK!” Gross.
… and scientifically very lazy about energy balances in the ending, I thought.
posted by clew at 9:52 AM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
I thought it was worse than stupid, I thought it was immoral, entirely set up to make global disaster seem cool really. And - cool because it would lead to objective racial differences! “Hey, the Jackpot is worth it because finally discrimination will be OK!” Gross.
… and scientifically very lazy about energy balances in the ending, I thought.
posted by clew at 9:52 AM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
I can't stand The Little Prince.
Even when I was a child, it squicked me out .
It feels so fakely twee to me. Smug!
posted by Zumbador at 9:56 AM on June 11, 2023 [12 favorites]
Even when I was a child, it squicked me out .
It feels so fakely twee to me. Smug!
posted by Zumbador at 9:56 AM on June 11, 2023 [12 favorites]
Oh, and almost every story by Hans Christian Andersen. For some reason The Ugly Duckling is ok but the other stories reek of hateful, hypocritical morality.
So many of the female characters get punished for the sin of *wanting* things.
posted by Zumbador at 10:00 AM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
So many of the female characters get punished for the sin of *wanting* things.
posted by Zumbador at 10:00 AM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
THINGS I DO NOT UNDERSTAND:
1) Taylor Swift, on any level.
2) Minimalism, especially when it's presented self-righteously
3) Puffy sleeved, tiered ruffle dresses (IS THAT ALL THERE IS ANYMORE? FFS MAKE IT STOP)
4) With the exception of maybe (maybe) early seasons of "Project Runway" and "Top Chef," all reality television.
5) Twitter
6) Any exercise where people yell at you to exercise more/harder.
7) Denim shorts. Are these actually comfortable for people? Level with me. I can't figure it.
8) Why people think Pulitzer Prize winner "Demon Copperhead" by Barbara Kingsolver is not wildly offensive, booststrappy, trauma porn "Hillbilly Elegy" crap (I am personally from Appalachia. I have a bone or twelve to pick here)
9) Surprise raisins in things where you aren't expecting raisins
10) Camping
11) The Grateful Dead, and jam bands in general (see also: Prog Rock)
12) Expensive athleisure
13) Disneyworld/land/etc
posted by thivaia at 10:32 AM on June 11, 2023 [15 favorites]
1) Taylor Swift, on any level.
2) Minimalism, especially when it's presented self-righteously
3) Puffy sleeved, tiered ruffle dresses (IS THAT ALL THERE IS ANYMORE? FFS MAKE IT STOP)
4) With the exception of maybe (maybe) early seasons of "Project Runway" and "Top Chef," all reality television.
5) Twitter
6) Any exercise where people yell at you to exercise more/harder.
7) Denim shorts. Are these actually comfortable for people? Level with me. I can't figure it.
8) Why people think Pulitzer Prize winner "Demon Copperhead" by Barbara Kingsolver is not wildly offensive, booststrappy, trauma porn "Hillbilly Elegy" crap (I am personally from Appalachia. I have a bone or twelve to pick here)
9) Surprise raisins in things where you aren't expecting raisins
10) Camping
11) The Grateful Dead, and jam bands in general (see also: Prog Rock)
12) Expensive athleisure
13) Disneyworld/land/etc
posted by thivaia at 10:32 AM on June 11, 2023 [15 favorites]
Oh and "Hotel California."
"Hotel California" is the worst
posted by thivaia at 10:34 AM on June 11, 2023 [9 favorites]
"Hotel California" is the worst
posted by thivaia at 10:34 AM on June 11, 2023 [9 favorites]
I am not a fan of musical theater in general, so I'm a hard sell, but I HATE Wicked. I love love love the book, and the musical was such a betrayal of the heart of that story. and the music was lame.
(and Taylor Swift, of whom I have not knowingly heard a single song, is a Nazi fucker. so fuck her.)
posted by supermedusa at 10:37 AM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
(and Taylor Swift, of whom I have not knowingly heard a single song, is a Nazi fucker. so fuck her.)
posted by supermedusa at 10:37 AM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
I cannot stand boogie rock. Think "Taking Care of Business" (god I hate that song). It seems to have the opposite of swing to the rhythm (but also not right on time like four on the floor house music. It just offends my sense of musical taste. If you can picture a 65 year old white guy in stonewashed jeans doing a lazy twist to the music that's what I'm talking about. It's become such a thing between me and one of my friends that if one of us hears music that sounds like that they can just turn to the other and start the mini-twist and everyone will know exactly what it means.
posted by downtohisturtles at 10:56 AM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by downtohisturtles at 10:56 AM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
I can't stand Taylor Swift either but wait a minute what why when how is she a Nazi? What have I missed??
posted by bitteschoen at 11:15 AM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by bitteschoen at 11:15 AM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
bitteschoen I do not claim she was a Nazi but she was briefly dating one...(googling...) Matty Healy who has come under fire for, among other things, making a Nazi salute in public. and general anti-Semitism. so original.
(TS has apparently been unapologetic about dating him, per the gossip sites I do not ever spend a moment on.)
posted by supermedusa at 11:35 AM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
(TS has apparently been unapologetic about dating him, per the gossip sites I do not ever spend a moment on.)
posted by supermedusa at 11:35 AM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
Jubal fucking Harishaw, and Stranger in a Strange Land (and for that reason, pretty much all of Robert Heinlein’s catalog). Harishaw is a misogynistic, autocratic, asshole. I saw through that phony the first time I read it as a teenage girl.
Fight me.
posted by dbmcd at 11:55 AM on June 11, 2023 [11 favorites]
Fight me.
posted by dbmcd at 11:55 AM on June 11, 2023 [11 favorites]
Oh, and Jesus H. CHRIST on a POGO STICK, I am SICK to DEATH of CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!
Boy, talk about picking the low hanging fruitcake -- that includes you and the vast bulk of non-comatose humanity: we all feel your pain.
And next, for the 17,332nd time today, here's Little Drummer Boy, going out to Greg_Ace!
posted by y2karl at 12:13 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
Boy, talk about picking the low hanging fruitcake -- that includes you and the vast bulk of non-comatose humanity: we all feel your pain.
And next, for the 17,332nd time today, here's Little Drummer Boy, going out to Greg_Ace!
posted by y2karl at 12:13 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
I despise Rivers of London.
Can you guess what happens to the beautiful, good-natured, sweet, very competent and appealing female main character who does not to want to have sex with the protagonist who has a hopeless crush on her?
I have had it a million times over with that trope.
posted by jamjam at 12:23 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
Can you guess what happens to the beautiful, good-natured, sweet, very competent and appealing female main character who does not to want to have sex with the protagonist who has a hopeless crush on her?
I have had it a million times over with that trope.
posted by jamjam at 12:23 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
non-comatose humanity
Which is, what, maybe 10% (if even that much) of the total US population?
going out to Greg_Ace!
Good thing I haven't listened to the radio since the early 80's or so...
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:40 PM on June 11, 2023
Which is, what, maybe 10% (if even that much) of the total US population?
going out to Greg_Ace!
Good thing I haven't listened to the radio since the early 80's or so...
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:40 PM on June 11, 2023
9) Surprise raisins in things where you aren't expecting raisins
For me, it's specifically cooked raisins that I hate. I don't seek them out, but I can uncomplainingly eat some plain raisins as a snack or an ingredient in gorp. But the soft, swollen, squishy raisins that pop up in dishes totally gross me out. Thankfully it is less common now, but I can remember it a lot from when I was young. (There's a great moment in White House Plumbers where someone comments on the number of raisins in the curry. I wasn't even born yet when Watergate was happening, but that style of cooking persisted long after.)
posted by Dip Flash at 12:53 PM on June 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
For me, it's specifically cooked raisins that I hate. I don't seek them out, but I can uncomplainingly eat some plain raisins as a snack or an ingredient in gorp. But the soft, swollen, squishy raisins that pop up in dishes totally gross me out. Thankfully it is less common now, but I can remember it a lot from when I was young. (There's a great moment in White House Plumbers where someone comments on the number of raisins in the curry. I wasn't even born yet when Watergate was happening, but that style of cooking persisted long after.)
posted by Dip Flash at 12:53 PM on June 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
I hate Harry and Meghan and Archewell.
posted by Ideefixe at 3:05 PM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Ideefixe at 3:05 PM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
I have a text file somewhere with the rant I once posted to a mailing list about the absolute crapfest that was the Stallone movie Cliffhanger. As a lifelong climber, and a woman, and a friend of lifelong climbers, I found it unbelievably awful. Insulting, misogynistic, and a violation of basic physics.
I'm still angry about it, although I have added K2 to it: IIRC, that's the movie in which Alexander Siddig and Chris O'Donnell, experienced mountaineers, cannot read a topo map and are shown running at 20,000 feet above sea level. I saw it with a bunch of climbing pals, and the jokes about cutting the belay line went on for weeks. (You don't cut the belay line.)
And the first JJ Abrams Star Trek movie, which is deeply stupid from beginning to end, despite the charming cast. I spent 90 minutes immediately after leaving the theater ranting about how badly it misrepresented the military and the ethos of Trek. Bah.
posted by suelac at 3:24 PM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'm still angry about it, although I have added K2 to it: IIRC, that's the movie in which Alexander Siddig and Chris O'Donnell, experienced mountaineers, cannot read a topo map and are shown running at 20,000 feet above sea level. I saw it with a bunch of climbing pals, and the jokes about cutting the belay line went on for weeks. (You don't cut the belay line.)
And the first JJ Abrams Star Trek movie, which is deeply stupid from beginning to end, despite the charming cast. I spent 90 minutes immediately after leaving the theater ranting about how badly it misrepresented the military and the ethos of Trek. Bah.
posted by suelac at 3:24 PM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
I have tremendous yuck for
* football and baseball as national pastimes. Overpaid dudes and boring games. Having said that, I love ice hockey and I think it's because they're dangerously sexy brutes who do not get paid enough for what they do.
* Ted Lasso, Big Bang Theory, Always Sunny, Walking Dead, Atlanta. All unwatchable.
* I scream whenever I hear those chords and, "Turn it up," and will JETPROPEL myself across a room to avoid Lynyrd Skynyrd.
* By extension, all southern rock.
* David Sedaris. I get it. I read one short story and I got it then. I don't need any more David Sedaris.
* Ditto Franzen.
* Star Wars. Don't come at me.
* The cult of truffles which taste like garbage.
* Last, viewing TikToks does not make you know a thing about a thing. You did not learn something by watching TikTok.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 3:36 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
* football and baseball as national pastimes. Overpaid dudes and boring games. Having said that, I love ice hockey and I think it's because they're dangerously sexy brutes who do not get paid enough for what they do.
* Ted Lasso, Big Bang Theory, Always Sunny, Walking Dead, Atlanta. All unwatchable.
* I scream whenever I hear those chords and, "Turn it up," and will JETPROPEL myself across a room to avoid Lynyrd Skynyrd.
* By extension, all southern rock.
* David Sedaris. I get it. I read one short story and I got it then. I don't need any more David Sedaris.
* Ditto Franzen.
* Star Wars. Don't come at me.
* The cult of truffles which taste like garbage.
* Last, viewing TikToks does not make you know a thing about a thing. You did not learn something by watching TikTok.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 3:36 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
Thank you, Molly Bloom Soliloquy.
posted by y2karl at 3:53 PM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by y2karl at 3:53 PM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
I am contrarian enough that I hate a lot of things that are popular. My contribution to this thread would be the music of The Red Hot Chili Peppers, which has inexplicably gotten popular again in recent years. I would mostly rather listen to fingernails on chalkboards than RHCP.
A thing I absolutely cannot stand (and am quite sensitive to) is an author manipulating a character to do something out of character in order to force the plot forward in a particular way.
On this note: the Lord of the Rings movies. Particularly Fellowship, which ends with Aragon, Legolas, and Gimli calmly watching Frodo and Sam boat off, and basically saying "the fate of the entire of Middle Earth depends on those two untrained Hobbits who have never left the Shire reaching the heart of Mt Doom. I'm sure they'll be fine, let's go save the side characters!" And why was it filmed that way? So that Boromir could have a long death speech instead of just rasping out "hobbits -- taken!" and thereby setting the trio off (unwittingly) on Merry & Pippin's trail.
I also dislike the books, but not nearly as much.
Quentin Tarantino
My personal theory on Quentin Tarantino is that he loves all the bad parts of Hollywood. Many people have noticed his love of terrible B movies, but I think he also loves all the awful behind-the-scenes things: people being hurt or killed in stunts, priceless artifacts being destroyed for a take, the casting couch, blacksploitation, the whole sordid package.
His talent is packaging up Hollywood's garbage in such a way that many others enjoy it.
Seveneves
I haven't been able to get through a single Stephenson book since Cryptonomicon. Snow Crash and The Diamond Age are two of my all-time favorite books, but it's really obvious that he (maybe metaphorically) fired his editor somewhere between The Diamond Age and The Baroque Cycle.
2) Minimalism, especially when it's presented self-righteously
I'm fine with a minimalist aesthetic (up to a point, anyway), but stuff like the "100 things challenge" I just cannot stand, particularly when presented as some kind of enlightenment exercise and not a display of (usually 20something, urban) upper-middle-class extravagance. You can afford ultra-minimalism when you have a checking account balance that lets you buy anything you need when you need it, not when you need to hoard any spare parts that come your way so that you can repair your stuff.
The same goes for a lot of the advice along the lines of "if you haven't used it in a year, throw it out."
posted by reventlov at 5:12 PM on June 11, 2023 [15 favorites]
A thing I absolutely cannot stand (and am quite sensitive to) is an author manipulating a character to do something out of character in order to force the plot forward in a particular way.
On this note: the Lord of the Rings movies. Particularly Fellowship, which ends with Aragon, Legolas, and Gimli calmly watching Frodo and Sam boat off, and basically saying "the fate of the entire of Middle Earth depends on those two untrained Hobbits who have never left the Shire reaching the heart of Mt Doom. I'm sure they'll be fine, let's go save the side characters!" And why was it filmed that way? So that Boromir could have a long death speech instead of just rasping out "hobbits -- taken!" and thereby setting the trio off (unwittingly) on Merry & Pippin's trail.
I also dislike the books, but not nearly as much.
Quentin Tarantino
My personal theory on Quentin Tarantino is that he loves all the bad parts of Hollywood. Many people have noticed his love of terrible B movies, but I think he also loves all the awful behind-the-scenes things: people being hurt or killed in stunts, priceless artifacts being destroyed for a take, the casting couch, blacksploitation, the whole sordid package.
His talent is packaging up Hollywood's garbage in such a way that many others enjoy it.
Seveneves
I haven't been able to get through a single Stephenson book since Cryptonomicon. Snow Crash and The Diamond Age are two of my all-time favorite books, but it's really obvious that he (maybe metaphorically) fired his editor somewhere between The Diamond Age and The Baroque Cycle.
2) Minimalism, especially when it's presented self-righteously
I'm fine with a minimalist aesthetic (up to a point, anyway), but stuff like the "100 things challenge" I just cannot stand, particularly when presented as some kind of enlightenment exercise and not a display of (usually 20something, urban) upper-middle-class extravagance. You can afford ultra-minimalism when you have a checking account balance that lets you buy anything you need when you need it, not when you need to hoard any spare parts that come your way so that you can repair your stuff.
The same goes for a lot of the advice along the lines of "if you haven't used it in a year, throw it out."
posted by reventlov at 5:12 PM on June 11, 2023 [15 favorites]
> Can't see where the love for the Beatles is coming from.
I can't imagine ever thinking "I haven't heard the Beatles for a while, I think I'll put some on," and yet! I can't stand their music and also can't get away from it.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:38 PM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
I can't imagine ever thinking "I haven't heard the Beatles for a while, I think I'll put some on," and yet! I can't stand their music and also can't get away from it.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:38 PM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
The world domination of skinny jeans to the point that every other style of jeans is on the point of extinction. I have specific and incandescent hatred for skinny jeans in plus sizes. Hello fashion industry: I am fat, not stupid! If you call something skinny, I don't think I will be if I wear it! I just want jeans that have a bit of give, that I don't have to struggle to get on and peel myself out of.
And also, team building sessions at work. Especially if they involve forced physical activity, butchers paper brainstorming and positive psychology.
posted by Athanassiel at 6:00 PM on June 11, 2023 [7 favorites]
And also, team building sessions at work. Especially if they involve forced physical activity, butchers paper brainstorming and positive psychology.
posted by Athanassiel at 6:00 PM on June 11, 2023 [7 favorites]
Kanye. Elon. Trump. All "rich," STUPID AS FUCK, ACTIVELY DESTRUCTIVE to all of humanity. Their damage goes way beyond what their usual scopes should be. Kanye riles up the Nazis while being someone the Nazis would hate, I hate Twitter and yet I feel bad for everyone involved with it because stupid Elon is trashing it so thoroughly, and we all know how the country is permanently damaged because one rich idiot was made fun of at a dinner. Those are the famous people I actively despise and wish someday karma will get them.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:02 PM on June 11, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:02 PM on June 11, 2023 [11 favorites]
Oh man, I have been bottling this up for so long because I feared if I said anything out loud, I would be hunted down and killed. But...the zeitgeist S shows that everyone is so nuts for: Succession and Severance. They are the Emperor's New Clothes of prestige television shit, everyone ooos and aaahhs over them and no one can see that there's just big empty stupid fake space there.
I read through all the Fanlore threads for them, especially after I started hate-watching Succession because friends would not shut the fuck up about it to me no matter how many times I told them I didn't have HBO and so I just wanted to make pretend-interested noises at them to let them talk it out because that's what friends do and succumbed to HBO for a while for something else entirely. And people wrote incredible theses in those threads! People whose opinions I often value! And they are so wildly mistaken that it's brilliant and the best thing ever made for television! (Both of those shows inspire those kinds of comments.)
I just can't understand it. My frienda revere them, everyone around me reveres them, the whole fucking world is pointing at them and admiring the handiwork of the fine imperial clothing. All I can see is the Emperor's floppy junk and wrinkled ass. GAH.
posted by kitten kaboodle at 6:06 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
I read through all the Fanlore threads for them, especially after I started hate-watching Succession because friends would not shut the fuck up about it to me no matter how many times I told them I didn't have HBO and so I just wanted to make pretend-interested noises at them to let them talk it out because that's what friends do and succumbed to HBO for a while for something else entirely. And people wrote incredible theses in those threads! People whose opinions I often value! And they are so wildly mistaken that it's brilliant and the best thing ever made for television! (Both of those shows inspire those kinds of comments.)
I just can't understand it. My frienda revere them, everyone around me reveres them, the whole fucking world is pointing at them and admiring the handiwork of the fine imperial clothing. All I can see is the Emperor's floppy junk and wrinkled ass. GAH.
posted by kitten kaboodle at 6:06 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
Also, my job involves a lot of international mailing of very crucial documents that are hard to mail. We have hundreds of clientele going to a country that our printer called "a black hole of mail." I spend way too much time being forced to mail to Black Hole Of Mail Country, having every effing document that goes there get lost, constantly contacting at least 5 people a day telling them to not mail there OR pay $80 on average (and rising) for a tracking number that also delays your getting it longer because to use it we have to have it sent here and repackaged. UPS (THE DEVIL) still refuses to deliver to our office so we have to reroute and delay and all of this shit is an emergency. Most of the people I contact ignore me or learn the hard, slow, very expensive way. I'm tired of all of the panic and drama..
ALL of this drama and hell because my office will not pay for tracking numbers or electronic documentation. The printer said 95% of our problems would be gone if we could just throw money at them. But they never will, because I can only guess it's cheaper to just always be replacing (for free!) than for someone to do a cost-benefit allowance.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:23 PM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
ALL of this drama and hell because my office will not pay for tracking numbers or electronic documentation. The printer said 95% of our problems would be gone if we could just throw money at them. But they never will, because I can only guess it's cheaper to just always be replacing (for free!) than for someone to do a cost-benefit allowance.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:23 PM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
YA novels. I want my books to have actual adults in them.
posted by wens at 6:23 PM on June 11, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by wens at 6:23 PM on June 11, 2023 [11 favorites]
The thing is, I think teenagers want their books to have adults in them too, at least some of the time. I don't know how this stupid idea started that books written for teen audiences must have teen main characters.
posted by Redstart at 6:28 PM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Redstart at 6:28 PM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
team building sessions at work
I don't think anybody likes those except the managers who are foisting the "team building" on their employees (but without having to participate in it themselves).
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:31 PM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
I don't think anybody likes those except the managers who are foisting the "team building" on their employees (but without having to participate in it themselves).
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:31 PM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
Omg. Yes, I was about to say The Eagles, "Hotel California" and it is always on the damn radio and I don't understand why. It is so cringe.
I have never been able to get into Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Thank God I could never finish the first Harry Potter book.
posted by AnyUsernameWillDo at 6:39 PM on June 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
I have never been able to get into Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Thank God I could never finish the first Harry Potter book.
posted by AnyUsernameWillDo at 6:39 PM on June 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
The colors available in home furnishings. It’s all five variations on grey and beige (Stone, Putty, Sand, River Rock, and Ennui) when you’re trying to find blankets/sheets/curtains. If the seller is feeling wild there will be one of the following: a muted green-blue, a really muddy dark red, or medical-device pink. “But they’re neutral!” people cry. “They go with everything!” They do, but outside of much higher end shops than I can afford, there’s nothing available for these colors to clash with. Ikea is leading the charge with its “oh, look, it’s aspirational minimalism” approach, but it’s not minimalism, it looks like the color soundtrack to despair.
That particular shade of mid-tone auto-primer grey that people seem to want to slather all over exterior walls is an especially ugly color, to a teeth-grinding degree. I can’t wait until it looks as dated as an avocado green fridge or fake Southwestern living room furniture and we can all move on to something else.
posted by corey flood at 6:52 PM on June 11, 2023 [16 favorites]
That particular shade of mid-tone auto-primer grey that people seem to want to slather all over exterior walls is an especially ugly color, to a teeth-grinding degree. I can’t wait until it looks as dated as an avocado green fridge or fake Southwestern living room furniture and we can all move on to something else.
posted by corey flood at 6:52 PM on June 11, 2023 [16 favorites]
I am so proud of us for not trying to defend these things.
posted by tofu_crouton at 7:04 PM on June 11, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by tofu_crouton at 7:04 PM on June 11, 2023 [9 favorites]
1. Reality TV. All of it. Send it all to the sun.
2. Confederacy of Dunces. FUCK IT.
3. Mushrooms.
4. Country music. Not bluegrass, that's fine. Country pop, I guess.
5. Loud bass coming from a car. Additionally, loud music of any kind coming from a car. I dgaf that you love that song, I probably don't. I don't want to hear it.
6. People who let hotel room doors SLAM shut. May their toes be forever stubbed on chair legs.
7. Camping.
posted by cooker girl at 7:14 PM on June 11, 2023 [11 favorites]
2. Confederacy of Dunces. FUCK IT.
3. Mushrooms.
4. Country music. Not bluegrass, that's fine. Country pop, I guess.
5. Loud bass coming from a car. Additionally, loud music of any kind coming from a car. I dgaf that you love that song, I probably don't. I don't want to hear it.
6. People who let hotel room doors SLAM shut. May their toes be forever stubbed on chair legs.
7. Camping.
posted by cooker girl at 7:14 PM on June 11, 2023 [11 favorites]
Not defending it - everything else seems like a matter of kind of media taste but several folks really hate camping. I guess maybe I wasn't counting on that being a hot topic of disdain.
Thank everyone who has mentioned the Beatles, Curb your Enthusiasm, Walking Dead and especially Severance and Succession. And sports, all the sports.
posted by abulafa at 7:24 PM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
Thank everyone who has mentioned the Beatles, Curb your Enthusiasm, Walking Dead and especially Severance and Succession. And sports, all the sports.
posted by abulafa at 7:24 PM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
The Pixies. Just insufferable and thanks for this thread.
posted by repoman at 7:45 PM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by repoman at 7:45 PM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
For me, another is both Friends and Seinfeld. Hated them when they were new, still hate them when I see clips posted.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:46 PM on June 11, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by Dip Flash at 7:46 PM on June 11, 2023 [11 favorites]
"Bohemian Rhapsody"
The worst of Queen, although they did have some good songs.
posted by Rash at 7:51 PM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
The worst of Queen, although they did have some good songs.
posted by Rash at 7:51 PM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
For me, it's specifically cooked raisins that I hate.
Raisins are okay, especially in oatmeal. The very specific raisin crime is Oatmeal Raisin cookies. And the felony form involves an attempt, overt or not, to trick the unwary into the belief you're actually offering up a Chocolate Chip cookie (when it's actually that other kind)..
posted by Rash at 8:05 PM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
Raisins are okay, especially in oatmeal. The very specific raisin crime is Oatmeal Raisin cookies. And the felony form involves an attempt, overt or not, to trick the unwary into the belief you're actually offering up a Chocolate Chip cookie (when it's actually that other kind)..
posted by Rash at 8:05 PM on June 11, 2023 [2 favorites]
And maybe you're interested in this recent list I made of stuff I no longer care to see reported in the News.
posted by Rash at 8:10 PM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
- the new cell phone and any new Apple product
- TV shows (any)
- 45/TFG (unless it's him going to jail)
- NetFlix and Disney
- podcasts and videogames
- Athletes/Sports, including Idiotrod dog-sledding (and the Spelling Bee)
- influencers
- beatboxing
posted by Rash at 8:10 PM on June 11, 2023 [1 favorite]
Possibly I'm the first Old to stumble into this thread, since nobody's mentioned him yet, but -- Wes Anderson movies.
posted by Rash at 8:14 PM on June 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by Rash at 8:14 PM on June 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
It’s all five variations on grey and beige (Stone, Putty, Sand, River Rock, and Ennui)
Six - don't forget Ecru.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:25 PM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
Six - don't forget Ecru.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:25 PM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
So, I love and read a ton of horror novels and every time I ask for suggestions or read a list/roundup of best horror, someone will inevitably bring up House of Leaves.
You guys, I have never hated a book more in my entire life. There is a not a single scary moment in this stupid festering pile of garbage. It's not scary! IT'S NOT SCARY! To quote from my Goodreads rant, I have never read anything as pretentious, as convoluted, and as ultimately pointless as this ridiculous pile of drivel. I cant even fathom how anyone could possibly find this book frightening or compelling. The story itself is a retread of The Amityville Horror, only instead of actual scary events, the big "chills" in this book come from the characters noticing that, ooh one shelf in this room is an inch shorter than the other! Wait, this wall is twelve feet and six inches long but THAT wall is twelve feet and seven inches long! oh my god! how will i ever sleep again!
I hate you, House of Leaves. I hate you forever.
posted by silverstatue at 8:27 PM on June 11, 2023 [12 favorites]
You guys, I have never hated a book more in my entire life. There is a not a single scary moment in this stupid festering pile of garbage. It's not scary! IT'S NOT SCARY! To quote from my Goodreads rant, I have never read anything as pretentious, as convoluted, and as ultimately pointless as this ridiculous pile of drivel. I cant even fathom how anyone could possibly find this book frightening or compelling. The story itself is a retread of The Amityville Horror, only instead of actual scary events, the big "chills" in this book come from the characters noticing that, ooh one shelf in this room is an inch shorter than the other! Wait, this wall is twelve feet and six inches long but THAT wall is twelve feet and seven inches long! oh my god! how will i ever sleep again!
I hate you, House of Leaves. I hate you forever.
posted by silverstatue at 8:27 PM on June 11, 2023 [12 favorites]
Oh god, adults saying the word veggies. You're not a fucking child, the word is vegetables. Get your shit together, are you 4? Do you say you have to go tinkle? Grow up. I don't care, please for the love of god act better than that. Ugh it sets my teeth on edge when grown adults throw that around.
posted by Carillon at 9:33 PM on June 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by Carillon at 9:33 PM on June 11, 2023 [10 favorites]
Ostensible comedies where the humour has been replaced by people yelling over each other. Think Pineapple Express, or better yet, dont and watch a pineapple on a kitchen bench for two hours instead. It'll be funnier.
posted by Sparx at 10:01 PM on June 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Sparx at 10:01 PM on June 11, 2023 [4 favorites]
It's not the charcoal gray houses that bother me so much, but the fact that so many of them were painted gray not by the people who were going to live in them, but by the sellers who were told it was the trendy thing to do and would maximize the price. Before the trendy thing was gray houses, it was fences with horizontal slats. It will probably always be something, and we'll always get a massive oversupply of whatever the single most popular thing is, even if what really brings people joy is variety.
posted by aws17576 at 10:29 PM on June 11, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by aws17576 at 10:29 PM on June 11, 2023 [8 favorites]
LOL, silverstatue; you made me laugh a lot! Best House of Leaves review ever. 🏠🌿📏📐🙀
posted by taz (staff) at 11:20 PM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by taz (staff) at 11:20 PM on June 11, 2023 [3 favorites]
Something I find terrible: Songs that mention boobs, thinking specifically here of Bob Seger's "Night Moves". I mean, I'm a fan of boobs, most people are, but singing about how much you value them as a "major feature" of another human is just...sad and embarrassing, innit?
If I am unfortunate enough to hear "Centerfold" by the J. Giles Band I am guaranteed to rant for 2x the song length about what a sad, misogynistic loser the guy relating the "story" is. Hideous fucking song.
Thank you to Daily Alice for mentioning the reprehensible Pina Colada song.
On another note, I kinda hate (what i perceive as) the sanctimony of many bicyclists when discussing their passion.
posted by maxwelton at 11:36 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
If I am unfortunate enough to hear "Centerfold" by the J. Giles Band I am guaranteed to rant for 2x the song length about what a sad, misogynistic loser the guy relating the "story" is. Hideous fucking song.
Thank you to Daily Alice for mentioning the reprehensible Pina Colada song.
On another note, I kinda hate (what i perceive as) the sanctimony of many bicyclists when discussing their passion.
posted by maxwelton at 11:36 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
Do you say you have to go tinkle? Grow up. I don't care, please for the love of god act better than that. Ugh it sets my teeth on edge when grown adults throw that around.
One of my exes said "potty." All the time. I wanted to say, "You're 23, dude."
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:59 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
One of my exes said "potty." All the time. I wanted to say, "You're 23, dude."
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:59 PM on June 11, 2023 [5 favorites]
Are we allowed to go wide yet?
If so (stand back because I’m gonna get real loud in here):
THEY ARE DOGS AND CATS THEY ARE NOT FUR BABIES THEY WILL NEVER BE FUR BABIES STOP REFERRING TO YOUR PETS AS THOUGH YOU WERE TWO YEARS OLD.
thank you.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 3:05 AM on June 12, 2023 [43 favorites]
If so (stand back because I’m gonna get real loud in here):
THEY ARE DOGS AND CATS THEY ARE NOT FUR BABIES THEY WILL NEVER BE FUR BABIES STOP REFERRING TO YOUR PETS AS THOUGH YOU WERE TWO YEARS OLD.
thank you.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 3:05 AM on June 12, 2023 [43 favorites]
A Discovery of Witches.
Matthew: I am a sexy vampire who is sexy, with a Ph.D. I am also extremely jealous, creepily overprotective, a stalker, and prone to sudden fits of rage.
Diana: Hot! I am a sexy witch, raised entirely by witches yet bizarrely ignorant of any useful information about them due to childhood trauma. However, I must warn you that I am also an independent woman, with a Ph.D.
Matthew: Does this mean you will be bothered by my jealousy, rage, overprotectiveness, and stalking?
Diana: No.
Matthew: Now that I have known you for almost a day, I love you.
Diana: Does this mean you will share with me vital information about the people who might have plans to kill me?
Matthew: No.
Diana: Awesome!
Matthew: Oh, no! An ancient medieval covenant between the vampires and witches states that they cannot become emotionally involved with each other! Any who do shall be put to death!
Diana: What?! Was there any reason you didn’t mention this to me *before* we started dating?
Matthew: No, no reason. Incidentally, since you were raised entirely by witches, wouldn’t you have logically already known about –
Diana: Childhood! Trauma! How many times do I have to repeat myself?
Matthew: Oh, right. Anyway, I will not permit us to be together, as it puts you in danger! I will kill you myself before I let anyone hurt you! (actual line of dialogue from the book there, by the way)
Diana: No! I love you! Incidentally, am I going to be allowed at any time to point out in character that you’re 1,500 years old and I’m –
Matthew: No.
Diana: – in my early thirties so you wanting to bone me is kind of like me getting hot for a gerbil?
Matthew: I said no! I am returning to Oxford to deal with the peril, and I order you to stay in my palatial estate in France! To convince you to stay there, I’m going to bribe you with this unknown, rare, unusual, important 15th century illustrated manuscript in precisely your field that I happen to have lying around.
Diana: As a historian, with a Ph.D., I am aware that such a thing would be the most important find of the decade! Therefore, I’m going to spend most of my time ignoring it.
Ysabeau: I am Matthew’s mother. I hate witches, because Nazi witches killed my husband.
Diana: Oh, dear. Is the fact that your son is romantically involved with me, a witch, going to cause any tension between us?
Ysabeau: No, not really. Diana, there is much about vampires you do not know, and you are in grave danger until you do. It could take you years to learn.
Diana: Please, teach me!
Ysabeau: Very well. Vampires behave exactly like Norwegian wolves.
Diana: OK. And?
Ysabeau: That’s it. You have learned all.
Matthew: Incidentally, we’re married now.
Diana: What?
Matthew: Surprise!
Diana: I have no problem with this development at all.
Satu: Ha ha ha! I am an evil witch who has kidnapped you! Now, I will attempt to turn you against your husband by maliciously telling you things about him that are absolutely true, like the fact that he is a creepy murderer who drugs you against your will. In a sane book, this would be an intervention.
Diana: I forgive him instantly for these small transgressions.
Matthew: I have rescued you! Thank goodness she chose to hide you only a few miles from where I live, rather than, say, anyplace else on earth! Now I will drug you against your will, as I have in the past.
Diana: No, Matthew! I am an independent woman, with a Ph.D.! From now on, I will let you drug me VOLUNTARILY! Also, it turns out that everybody hates me because I’m so awesome! I’m the most powerful witch in the world because I absorbed my unborn twin brother in the womb, and I can fly and shoot fire from my hands like Charlie Sheen and travel backwards in time and even get pregnant by vampires.
Ysabeau: Yes, that is why I have been giving you contraceptives without your knowledge or consent.
Diana: ... Thank you?
Matthew: Oh no, I have been mortally wounded by my ex-girlfriend!
Diana: I will slay her with fire before she has a chance to become an interesting character or have any point! Oh, my love, I must bargain with the goddess to save your life.
Goddess: What price will you pay for this favor?
Diana: Anything! I will give anything you ask!
Goddess: What, seriously? You’re dumb enough to make an open-ended offer in this kind of situation? Have you never read a book or something?
Diana: No, I mean it. In fact, I’ll pretty much explicitly say that as part of this bargain you can kill anyone and everyone you want, up to and including the women who raised me from a child, if you save this seriously creepy vampire I’ve known for a few weeks now.
Goddess: It is done!
Matthew: I’m starting a war against the evil vampires and witches who want to kill you! But first, let’s go back in time for some reason!
posted by kyrademon at 3:17 AM on June 12, 2023 [38 favorites]
Matthew: I am a sexy vampire who is sexy, with a Ph.D. I am also extremely jealous, creepily overprotective, a stalker, and prone to sudden fits of rage.
Diana: Hot! I am a sexy witch, raised entirely by witches yet bizarrely ignorant of any useful information about them due to childhood trauma. However, I must warn you that I am also an independent woman, with a Ph.D.
Matthew: Does this mean you will be bothered by my jealousy, rage, overprotectiveness, and stalking?
Diana: No.
Matthew: Now that I have known you for almost a day, I love you.
Diana: Does this mean you will share with me vital information about the people who might have plans to kill me?
Matthew: No.
Diana: Awesome!
Matthew: Oh, no! An ancient medieval covenant between the vampires and witches states that they cannot become emotionally involved with each other! Any who do shall be put to death!
Diana: What?! Was there any reason you didn’t mention this to me *before* we started dating?
Matthew: No, no reason. Incidentally, since you were raised entirely by witches, wouldn’t you have logically already known about –
Diana: Childhood! Trauma! How many times do I have to repeat myself?
Matthew: Oh, right. Anyway, I will not permit us to be together, as it puts you in danger! I will kill you myself before I let anyone hurt you! (actual line of dialogue from the book there, by the way)
Diana: No! I love you! Incidentally, am I going to be allowed at any time to point out in character that you’re 1,500 years old and I’m –
Matthew: No.
Diana: – in my early thirties so you wanting to bone me is kind of like me getting hot for a gerbil?
Matthew: I said no! I am returning to Oxford to deal with the peril, and I order you to stay in my palatial estate in France! To convince you to stay there, I’m going to bribe you with this unknown, rare, unusual, important 15th century illustrated manuscript in precisely your field that I happen to have lying around.
Diana: As a historian, with a Ph.D., I am aware that such a thing would be the most important find of the decade! Therefore, I’m going to spend most of my time ignoring it.
Ysabeau: I am Matthew’s mother. I hate witches, because Nazi witches killed my husband.
Diana: Oh, dear. Is the fact that your son is romantically involved with me, a witch, going to cause any tension between us?
Ysabeau: No, not really. Diana, there is much about vampires you do not know, and you are in grave danger until you do. It could take you years to learn.
Diana: Please, teach me!
Ysabeau: Very well. Vampires behave exactly like Norwegian wolves.
Diana: OK. And?
Ysabeau: That’s it. You have learned all.
Matthew: Incidentally, we’re married now.
Diana: What?
Matthew: Surprise!
Diana: I have no problem with this development at all.
Satu: Ha ha ha! I am an evil witch who has kidnapped you! Now, I will attempt to turn you against your husband by maliciously telling you things about him that are absolutely true, like the fact that he is a creepy murderer who drugs you against your will. In a sane book, this would be an intervention.
Diana: I forgive him instantly for these small transgressions.
Matthew: I have rescued you! Thank goodness she chose to hide you only a few miles from where I live, rather than, say, anyplace else on earth! Now I will drug you against your will, as I have in the past.
Diana: No, Matthew! I am an independent woman, with a Ph.D.! From now on, I will let you drug me VOLUNTARILY! Also, it turns out that everybody hates me because I’m so awesome! I’m the most powerful witch in the world because I absorbed my unborn twin brother in the womb, and I can fly and shoot fire from my hands like Charlie Sheen and travel backwards in time and even get pregnant by vampires.
Ysabeau: Yes, that is why I have been giving you contraceptives without your knowledge or consent.
Diana: ... Thank you?
Matthew: Oh no, I have been mortally wounded by my ex-girlfriend!
Diana: I will slay her with fire before she has a chance to become an interesting character or have any point! Oh, my love, I must bargain with the goddess to save your life.
Goddess: What price will you pay for this favor?
Diana: Anything! I will give anything you ask!
Goddess: What, seriously? You’re dumb enough to make an open-ended offer in this kind of situation? Have you never read a book or something?
Diana: No, I mean it. In fact, I’ll pretty much explicitly say that as part of this bargain you can kill anyone and everyone you want, up to and including the women who raised me from a child, if you save this seriously creepy vampire I’ve known for a few weeks now.
Goddess: It is done!
Matthew: I’m starting a war against the evil vampires and witches who want to kill you! But first, let’s go back in time for some reason!
posted by kyrademon at 3:17 AM on June 12, 2023 [38 favorites]
THINGS I DO NOT UNDERSTAND:
Wait, wait, isn’t this where the wise sage figure makes this a lesson, and tells us the only reason we hate something is that we fail to understand it?
But also: USA! USA! chants. I hated them as a kid when otherwise lovable violent slob Hacksaw Jim Duggan suddenly took over as the super patriotic mid-card guy who spent all his time fighting incredibly racist caricatures of othered wrestlers. The crowd ate it up, chanting that the whole time he was in the ring.
Now, as an American overseas? That fucking chant is why I’ll root for nearly anyone except my home country. Fucking embarrassing, boorish, and, well, utterly fitting. Other nations manage to have decent sounding (if probably rabidbly nationalistic) songs to sing to support their athletes, all we can manage to do is spell out our initials in the loudest, most ardently yelling at the manager of the fast food restaurant because we missed breakfast by two minutes voice. Fucking hell.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:40 AM on June 12, 2023 [8 favorites]
Wait, wait, isn’t this where the wise sage figure makes this a lesson, and tells us the only reason we hate something is that we fail to understand it?
But also: USA! USA! chants. I hated them as a kid when otherwise lovable violent slob Hacksaw Jim Duggan suddenly took over as the super patriotic mid-card guy who spent all his time fighting incredibly racist caricatures of othered wrestlers. The crowd ate it up, chanting that the whole time he was in the ring.
Now, as an American overseas? That fucking chant is why I’ll root for nearly anyone except my home country. Fucking embarrassing, boorish, and, well, utterly fitting. Other nations manage to have decent sounding (if probably rabidbly nationalistic) songs to sing to support their athletes, all we can manage to do is spell out our initials in the loudest, most ardently yelling at the manager of the fast food restaurant because we missed breakfast by two minutes voice. Fucking hell.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:40 AM on June 12, 2023 [8 favorites]
I would like to dedicate this thread to dear old Dorothy Parker, who said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.”
posted by scratch at 5:08 AM on June 12, 2023 [21 favorites]
posted by scratch at 5:08 AM on June 12, 2023 [21 favorites]
Game of Thrones. I viscerally hate that show. I cannot be in the same room where it's on. I leave conversations if they turn to it. I don't want to waste brain time analyzing why, it's just infuriatingly awful, overwritten, smug, portentous, mean-spirited bullshit.
Watching a Tarantino movie is like having someone sit behind you in the movie theater who laughs and kicks your seat at every goddamn line, and leans forward and whispers "this is a great part, watch this!" and you turn around to tell them to shut the fuck up, and it's Quentin Tarantino.
Ratatouille is a shit awful movie about the epitome of the mediocre straight white male who achieves prominence and acclaim from the labor of better, more talented yet marginalized beings. He learns to share and value those upon whom his success is based, but he doesn't seek to learn that - the responsibility to teach him to be decent falls upon those being exploited.
Jingle Jangle is egregiously bad. The patriarch neglects his apprentice who becomes a villain, he neglects his family to the point where they leave him, his daughter dies and it's up to his child granddaughter to come parent the adult so he can heal from his lifetime of being shitty to literally everyone we see him encounter. It is one of the worst, most regressive scripts imaginable. Just complete garbage. I wouldn't hate it if it were merely bad, but it's a toxic message the could actually instill unhealthy patterns in impressionable minds. Every time Netflix recommends it I yell at my TV.
I cannot make it through an episode of Deep Space Nine. I understand that it's dark and political, but you have "bad" characters going into "good" (but compromised) characters' offices and twisting their Snidely Whiplash mustaches while they taunt them by telling them their nefarious plans in detail. Is there an episode where someone gets tied to a railroad track because the Federation can't pay the rent? Wouldn't surprise me. It seems both overwritten and underwritten at the same time. Don't even get me started on the embarrassing "comic" relief of Quark, oh my god so cringe. And all the costumes look like they're made from thick upholstery fabric. Ugh. I'm a Star Trek fan and I've made several good-faith efforts to watch it but I. Just. Can't.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 5:16 AM on June 12, 2023 [8 favorites]
Watching a Tarantino movie is like having someone sit behind you in the movie theater who laughs and kicks your seat at every goddamn line, and leans forward and whispers "this is a great part, watch this!" and you turn around to tell them to shut the fuck up, and it's Quentin Tarantino.
Ratatouille is a shit awful movie about the epitome of the mediocre straight white male who achieves prominence and acclaim from the labor of better, more talented yet marginalized beings. He learns to share and value those upon whom his success is based, but he doesn't seek to learn that - the responsibility to teach him to be decent falls upon those being exploited.
Jingle Jangle is egregiously bad. The patriarch neglects his apprentice who becomes a villain, he neglects his family to the point where they leave him, his daughter dies and it's up to his child granddaughter to come parent the adult so he can heal from his lifetime of being shitty to literally everyone we see him encounter. It is one of the worst, most regressive scripts imaginable. Just complete garbage. I wouldn't hate it if it were merely bad, but it's a toxic message the could actually instill unhealthy patterns in impressionable minds. Every time Netflix recommends it I yell at my TV.
I cannot make it through an episode of Deep Space Nine. I understand that it's dark and political, but you have "bad" characters going into "good" (but compromised) characters' offices and twisting their Snidely Whiplash mustaches while they taunt them by telling them their nefarious plans in detail. Is there an episode where someone gets tied to a railroad track because the Federation can't pay the rent? Wouldn't surprise me. It seems both overwritten and underwritten at the same time. Don't even get me started on the embarrassing "comic" relief of Quark, oh my god so cringe. And all the costumes look like they're made from thick upholstery fabric. Ugh. I'm a Star Trek fan and I've made several good-faith efforts to watch it but I. Just. Can't.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 5:16 AM on June 12, 2023 [8 favorites]
I'd rather hear you drone on about your zodiac sign than your damn hogwart's house. I resent that I even have to know what those last two words mean.
So I'm a Harry Potter books-not-the-movies lover. I'm enough of a fan of the original series that, even as J. K. Rowling dives down the rabbithole of shitheadery, I can't pretend like I don't see the same magic in it that I saw the first umpteen times I read it.
But jesus CHRIST the fandom around Harry Potter is the most asinine fucking circlejerk to have ever circlejerked. I will take the TWILIGHT fandom over the Harry Potter fandom. Hell, give me the sick middle-aged fucks who stan Fifty Shades of Grey because they don't know how to google Harry Potter slashfic. (It should go without saying that I'm not critiquing the Harry Potter fandom's smut. I'm not a monster.)
Harold Bloom had this gloriously snobby Harry Potter pan, back in the day, where he said something like: "Stop saying that Harry Potter will teach children the magic of reading. Harry Potter is so asinine that the people who read it will only read Harry Potter." And this is obviously still not completely true—plenty of Harry Potter fans acquired enough media literacy that they went on to successfully shit on J. K. Rowling!—but WOW WOW WOW are Harry Potter superfans determined to convince the rest of the world that they literally cannot process the world in any terms other than fucking Hogwarts houses.
The whole point of the Harry Potter universe is that the mythos is doofy as shit. It is intentionally written to be extremely silly and unserious; up until the penultimate book, all the magical history you hear is stuff like "Let me tell you about Pennius Squabjoo, the wizard who invented magical beans and ended a famine in Berlin with his grody farts!" The Hogwarts houses are the Star Trek equivalent of redshirts: they exist so you know that, every time a Slytherin gets mentioned, they're gonna be a jerk; every Ravenclaw's gonna be a stuck-up prig; every Hufflepuff is gonna be a well-meaning dullard. Gryffindor's whole "It'S aBoUt CoUrAgE" is some bullshit, and everybody knows it—Gryffindor is literally just the Hogwarts house where real actual human beings exist, because across the entire goddamn series, literally one other Hogwarts student is given more than two dimensions, and it's Draco Malfoy.
And like, I get why Hogwarts houses became a thing. It's a fucking brand issue: Hogwarts wizard costumes are the easiest thing to put together in a world, because all you need is a scarf with the correct two colors on it. And the shallowness of the houses makes it easy to project your fantasy self onto whichever blank space feels the most like who you see yourself as: it's telling that the fandom rarely picks Gryffindor to identify with, they're all Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and Slytherins, because those are the trope houses and everyone wants to cosplay as a trope. (Ravenclaws are the well-meaning geeks; Hufflepuffs are the self-righteous geeks, and Slytherins are the cool kids, obviously.)
But noooOOOOOO. Because of POPTIMISM—yeah, I'm fucking going there—we got two goddamn decades of pretending that popular, accessible media was ACTUALLY REALLY DEEP. And Harry Potter, which got a cursed second life thanks to those dreary fucking movies, suddenly became an EMOTIONALLY SOPHISTICATED MASTERPIECE. That silly little line at the end about how "hey Slytherins you're allowed to not be bad guys," which was basically the pithy symbolic counterpart to Draco's whole arc, got spun out and out and turned into this whole attempt to justify the OBVIOUSLY NOT-HEALTHY house system as some deeper indicator of moral character. Which is how you wind up with the Hufflepuff Fandom Blight, wherein people took the house that was literally "they work hard and are kinda dull" and felt the need to REDEEM it. Long Tumblr-ass essays about the secret meanings of houses, all because people wanted to take their fan-insert characters and cosplay them IRL.
Is it worth pointing out that all of the fans who got that fucking into Hogwarts houses are now the fans who turn around and point to house elves as JK Rowling finding slavery funny, or the goblins at Gringotts as proof that JK is secretly deeply anti-semitic? WHY, YES IT IS. Because the current moral-outrage revisionism of Harry Potter is as threadbare and shallow as the secret-deep-meaning revisionism was, because the people who give enough of a shit about Harry Potter to make "literary critiques" of it are scarcely fucking literate. Harold Bloom was a chauvinist prig, but at least Bloom knew how to read a book.
And like, don't get me wrong: JK has gone absolutely off the TERF deep end. She's full-blown radical transphobe now, and it's disgusting to see, and I fucking hate it. But she also wrote a book in which there's a sport where The Specialist Player instantly wins their team 150 points, and readers, rather than acknowledging this as a CONSPICUOUS sign that This World Is Very Silly, decided to spend 25 years bloviating about how GOSH this sport just doesn't make sense!!! They ignored every single cue that the book gave that this was MAYBE a little bit tongue-in-cheek and decided to approach it instead with the heavy-hearted ponderousness that certain kinds of geek can't help but approach the entire universe with, because they have never once experienced a moment of real joy.
I think fans bought into the Hogwarts stuff as seriously as they did because—don't @ me—the book series really does have a potent and emotionally nuanced ethical struggle at its core. You can go the route of philosophical inquiry with the series, dissect it as a moral parable, and wind up with something that not only holds up but is worth a damn. But ALL of the good stuff happens beneath the Bullshit Candy-Coated Crust. If anything, the Bullshit Candy-Coated Crust is there to pass along the message of "GEE people sure get UNHEALTHILY INVESTED in weird signifiers of personal identity!" It's ludicrous horseshit to try and nudge you into realizing that HEY maybe you SHOULDN'T resort to such shallow loyalties and identifiers! I like to think that halfway-literate fans realized this. But halfway-literate people don't use the Internet, now, do they. And as a result we were left with the pop-culture equivalent of herpes, only herpes, unlike Hogwarts houses, deserves to be seriously destigmatized. Given a choice between fucking someone with herpes and fucking someone who still takes their Hogwarts house seriously, and any reasonable adult should go with HSV-2 every single time.
Sorry for yelling, presume hyperbole, etc. But WOW I don't know if I've ever experienced as much dissonance between my personal experience of a piece of media and my experience of that media's other fans as I've experienced with Harry Potter. Consider yourself hated on, Harry Potter fandom, minus the part that wrote slashfic and explored queer identity.
posted by Tom Hanks Cannot Be Trusted at 5:22 AM on June 12, 2023 [14 favorites]
So I'm a Harry Potter books-not-the-movies lover. I'm enough of a fan of the original series that, even as J. K. Rowling dives down the rabbithole of shitheadery, I can't pretend like I don't see the same magic in it that I saw the first umpteen times I read it.
But jesus CHRIST the fandom around Harry Potter is the most asinine fucking circlejerk to have ever circlejerked. I will take the TWILIGHT fandom over the Harry Potter fandom. Hell, give me the sick middle-aged fucks who stan Fifty Shades of Grey because they don't know how to google Harry Potter slashfic. (It should go without saying that I'm not critiquing the Harry Potter fandom's smut. I'm not a monster.)
Harold Bloom had this gloriously snobby Harry Potter pan, back in the day, where he said something like: "Stop saying that Harry Potter will teach children the magic of reading. Harry Potter is so asinine that the people who read it will only read Harry Potter." And this is obviously still not completely true—plenty of Harry Potter fans acquired enough media literacy that they went on to successfully shit on J. K. Rowling!—but WOW WOW WOW are Harry Potter superfans determined to convince the rest of the world that they literally cannot process the world in any terms other than fucking Hogwarts houses.
The whole point of the Harry Potter universe is that the mythos is doofy as shit. It is intentionally written to be extremely silly and unserious; up until the penultimate book, all the magical history you hear is stuff like "Let me tell you about Pennius Squabjoo, the wizard who invented magical beans and ended a famine in Berlin with his grody farts!" The Hogwarts houses are the Star Trek equivalent of redshirts: they exist so you know that, every time a Slytherin gets mentioned, they're gonna be a jerk; every Ravenclaw's gonna be a stuck-up prig; every Hufflepuff is gonna be a well-meaning dullard. Gryffindor's whole "It'S aBoUt CoUrAgE" is some bullshit, and everybody knows it—Gryffindor is literally just the Hogwarts house where real actual human beings exist, because across the entire goddamn series, literally one other Hogwarts student is given more than two dimensions, and it's Draco Malfoy.
And like, I get why Hogwarts houses became a thing. It's a fucking brand issue: Hogwarts wizard costumes are the easiest thing to put together in a world, because all you need is a scarf with the correct two colors on it. And the shallowness of the houses makes it easy to project your fantasy self onto whichever blank space feels the most like who you see yourself as: it's telling that the fandom rarely picks Gryffindor to identify with, they're all Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and Slytherins, because those are the trope houses and everyone wants to cosplay as a trope. (Ravenclaws are the well-meaning geeks; Hufflepuffs are the self-righteous geeks, and Slytherins are the cool kids, obviously.)
But noooOOOOOO. Because of POPTIMISM—yeah, I'm fucking going there—we got two goddamn decades of pretending that popular, accessible media was ACTUALLY REALLY DEEP. And Harry Potter, which got a cursed second life thanks to those dreary fucking movies, suddenly became an EMOTIONALLY SOPHISTICATED MASTERPIECE. That silly little line at the end about how "hey Slytherins you're allowed to not be bad guys," which was basically the pithy symbolic counterpart to Draco's whole arc, got spun out and out and turned into this whole attempt to justify the OBVIOUSLY NOT-HEALTHY house system as some deeper indicator of moral character. Which is how you wind up with the Hufflepuff Fandom Blight, wherein people took the house that was literally "they work hard and are kinda dull" and felt the need to REDEEM it. Long Tumblr-ass essays about the secret meanings of houses, all because people wanted to take their fan-insert characters and cosplay them IRL.
Is it worth pointing out that all of the fans who got that fucking into Hogwarts houses are now the fans who turn around and point to house elves as JK Rowling finding slavery funny, or the goblins at Gringotts as proof that JK is secretly deeply anti-semitic? WHY, YES IT IS. Because the current moral-outrage revisionism of Harry Potter is as threadbare and shallow as the secret-deep-meaning revisionism was, because the people who give enough of a shit about Harry Potter to make "literary critiques" of it are scarcely fucking literate. Harold Bloom was a chauvinist prig, but at least Bloom knew how to read a book.
And like, don't get me wrong: JK has gone absolutely off the TERF deep end. She's full-blown radical transphobe now, and it's disgusting to see, and I fucking hate it. But she also wrote a book in which there's a sport where The Specialist Player instantly wins their team 150 points, and readers, rather than acknowledging this as a CONSPICUOUS sign that This World Is Very Silly, decided to spend 25 years bloviating about how GOSH this sport just doesn't make sense!!! They ignored every single cue that the book gave that this was MAYBE a little bit tongue-in-cheek and decided to approach it instead with the heavy-hearted ponderousness that certain kinds of geek can't help but approach the entire universe with, because they have never once experienced a moment of real joy.
I think fans bought into the Hogwarts stuff as seriously as they did because—don't @ me—the book series really does have a potent and emotionally nuanced ethical struggle at its core. You can go the route of philosophical inquiry with the series, dissect it as a moral parable, and wind up with something that not only holds up but is worth a damn. But ALL of the good stuff happens beneath the Bullshit Candy-Coated Crust. If anything, the Bullshit Candy-Coated Crust is there to pass along the message of "GEE people sure get UNHEALTHILY INVESTED in weird signifiers of personal identity!" It's ludicrous horseshit to try and nudge you into realizing that HEY maybe you SHOULDN'T resort to such shallow loyalties and identifiers! I like to think that halfway-literate fans realized this. But halfway-literate people don't use the Internet, now, do they. And as a result we were left with the pop-culture equivalent of herpes, only herpes, unlike Hogwarts houses, deserves to be seriously destigmatized. Given a choice between fucking someone with herpes and fucking someone who still takes their Hogwarts house seriously, and any reasonable adult should go with HSV-2 every single time.
Sorry for yelling, presume hyperbole, etc. But WOW I don't know if I've ever experienced as much dissonance between my personal experience of a piece of media and my experience of that media's other fans as I've experienced with Harry Potter. Consider yourself hated on, Harry Potter fandom, minus the part that wrote slashfic and explored queer identity.
posted by Tom Hanks Cannot Be Trusted at 5:22 AM on June 12, 2023 [14 favorites]
adults saying the word veggies
Oh fuck, you just reminded me that NHS nurses and doctors--doctors!--are way too fond of the word "tummy". Even on official websites! They'll ask you about symptoms in your "tummy" until you want to scream at them "I AM A FUNCTIONAL ADULT WHO HAS THE WORD 'ABDOMEN' IN MY VOCABULARY".
House of Leaves
You just reminded me of one of my huge objections to that book (apart from the fact that it's a pretty decent 400-page book, but there are 300 more pages):
The narrator/framing device (it's complicated) has a habit of breaking into long run-on sentences, all written like this, with descriptive phrases set off by commas, hardly any other punctuation in sight, going on and on, often repeating the same concept in slightly different ways, apparently trying to set a mood but really just taking up space....
...one page alone has a "sentence" with over a hundred of those. I counted.
Look: I am a man who reads Shakespeare for fun. I don't shy away from complexity or unusual stylistic choices. There comes a point, though, where you've stopped experimenting with style and have instead started taking industrial medieval-tannery quantities of the piss. Just fucking GET ON WITH IT.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:22 AM on June 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
Oh fuck, you just reminded me that NHS nurses and doctors--doctors!--are way too fond of the word "tummy". Even on official websites! They'll ask you about symptoms in your "tummy" until you want to scream at them "I AM A FUNCTIONAL ADULT WHO HAS THE WORD 'ABDOMEN' IN MY VOCABULARY".
House of Leaves
You just reminded me of one of my huge objections to that book (apart from the fact that it's a pretty decent 400-page book, but there are 300 more pages):
The narrator/framing device (it's complicated) has a habit of breaking into long run-on sentences, all written like this, with descriptive phrases set off by commas, hardly any other punctuation in sight, going on and on, often repeating the same concept in slightly different ways, apparently trying to set a mood but really just taking up space....
...one page alone has a "sentence" with over a hundred of those. I counted.
Look: I am a man who reads Shakespeare for fun. I don't shy away from complexity or unusual stylistic choices. There comes a point, though, where you've stopped experimenting with style and have instead started taking industrial medieval-tannery quantities of the piss. Just fucking GET ON WITH IT.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:22 AM on June 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
Just click the #videogames tag on MetaFilter. There's your answer.
posted by Fizz at 6:41 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 6:41 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
Thank you for this Metatalktail. A great idea! I've really been enjoying everyone's rants.
My personal bugbear: ANDOR. Look, I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, and I do not pretend to have any deep knowledge of Star Wars lore, but I've watched a lot of Star Wars - all the movies, all the TV shows, including the animated... And I really hated Andor. I thought it was boring. I was frustrated because it SHOULDN'T have been boring. It had a great premise, fantastic actors, the writing was excellent, but it was so slow every episode felt like a lifetime in which nothing much really happened, except for the last two episodes, by which point it was very much a case of 'too little, too late' for me. I found Cassian Andor the most unsatisfactory of main characters - Din Djarin is more compelling, and Din Djarin talks in a monotone and spends 90% of his screen time in a fucking mask!
More than Andor, I hated the discourse around Andor. I hate that it was talked about breathlessly as 'Star Wars but for grown-ups'. I mean this is just one facet of a wide-ranging cultural mindset which dismisses media made for children or young girls etc as inherently less worthy of appreciation. But going back to Andor - what happens when you take the childish wonder and the undeniable silliness out of Star Wars? You end up with Andor, high on the production values, low on the joy. Especially in a pop cultural property that contains shows like The Clone Wars and Rebels, stories that are full of depth and wonder, multifaceted characters, satisfying character and narrative arcs, but also fun and joy, but don't really get talked about because they're animated and for kids and that by definition makes them less worthy of being taken seriously.
posted by unicorn chaser at 6:59 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
My personal bugbear: ANDOR. Look, I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, and I do not pretend to have any deep knowledge of Star Wars lore, but I've watched a lot of Star Wars - all the movies, all the TV shows, including the animated... And I really hated Andor. I thought it was boring. I was frustrated because it SHOULDN'T have been boring. It had a great premise, fantastic actors, the writing was excellent, but it was so slow every episode felt like a lifetime in which nothing much really happened, except for the last two episodes, by which point it was very much a case of 'too little, too late' for me. I found Cassian Andor the most unsatisfactory of main characters - Din Djarin is more compelling, and Din Djarin talks in a monotone and spends 90% of his screen time in a fucking mask!
More than Andor, I hated the discourse around Andor. I hate that it was talked about breathlessly as 'Star Wars but for grown-ups'. I mean this is just one facet of a wide-ranging cultural mindset which dismisses media made for children or young girls etc as inherently less worthy of appreciation. But going back to Andor - what happens when you take the childish wonder and the undeniable silliness out of Star Wars? You end up with Andor, high on the production values, low on the joy. Especially in a pop cultural property that contains shows like The Clone Wars and Rebels, stories that are full of depth and wonder, multifaceted characters, satisfying character and narrative arcs, but also fun and joy, but don't really get talked about because they're animated and for kids and that by definition makes them less worthy of being taken seriously.
posted by unicorn chaser at 6:59 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
I like dogs, but I've about had it with meeting dogs everywhere I go. Stores, expensive restaurants, doesn't matter.
And, pace yes I said yes I will Yes above, stop referring to yourselves as fur parents and no I don't want to hear about your Grand-dogs either.
posted by jquinby at 7:12 AM on June 12, 2023 [11 favorites]
And, pace yes I said yes I will Yes above, stop referring to yourselves as fur parents and no I don't want to hear about your Grand-dogs either.
posted by jquinby at 7:12 AM on June 12, 2023 [11 favorites]
Oh fuck, you just reminded me that NHS nurses and doctors--doctors!--are way too fond of the word "tummy". Even on official websites!
The NHS pages also love using the words pee and poo, which throws me for a loop every single time.
posted by unicorn chaser at 7:17 AM on June 12, 2023
The NHS pages also love using the words pee and poo, which throws me for a loop every single time.
posted by unicorn chaser at 7:17 AM on June 12, 2023
This is sort of the inverse, but: back before Rowling's public TERF turn (or at least before broad awareness of it, perhaps), I scandalized many of my friends by admitting that I had read the first four Harry Potter books, but then never bothered to finish the series. Apparently it was fine and understandable to actively dislike them and not read them at all, but to find them sufficiently "meh" to drop halfway through and never pick up again was wild.
I remember picking up the first one when it first came out and all my friends were raving about it, and just not getting what was so unique and original. One theory is that my friends had not read a lot of "find my people" type fantasy novels before.
I didn't read the rest until my kids got into it, and I read it with them. Even then, we enjoyed parts and found other parts a combination of "meh" and annoying.
posted by Well I never at 7:20 AM on June 12, 2023
I remember picking up the first one when it first came out and all my friends were raving about it, and just not getting what was so unique and original. One theory is that my friends had not read a lot of "find my people" type fantasy novels before.
I didn't read the rest until my kids got into it, and I read it with them. Even then, we enjoyed parts and found other parts a combination of "meh" and annoying.
posted by Well I never at 7:20 AM on June 12, 2023
A thing I absolutely cannot stand (and am quite sensitive to) is an author manipulating a character to do something out of character in order to force the plot forward in a particular way. It immediately jerks me out of my immersion in the story, my disbelief's suspension catastrophically fails, and I can no longer be bothered to finish watching/reading it.
My ex and I have a code term for this when we see it in any book or movie. One or the other of us will say, "Riker, the great diplomat." In Star Trek: The Net Generation, they were always saying Riker was this great diplomat, but whenever he actually interacted with aliens in a touchy situation, he just yelled at them.
One of the saddest things about leaving a relationship of almost 30 years is losing the decades worth of in-jokes.
posted by Well I never at 7:23 AM on June 12, 2023 [10 favorites]
My ex and I have a code term for this when we see it in any book or movie. One or the other of us will say, "Riker, the great diplomat." In Star Trek: The Net Generation, they were always saying Riker was this great diplomat, but whenever he actually interacted with aliens in a touchy situation, he just yelled at them.
One of the saddest things about leaving a relationship of almost 30 years is losing the decades worth of in-jokes.
posted by Well I never at 7:23 AM on June 12, 2023 [10 favorites]
So I'm a Harry Potter books-not-the-movies lover. I'm enough of a fan of the original series that, even as J. K. Rowling dives down the rabbithole of shitheadery, I can't pretend like I don't see the same magic in it that I saw the first umpteen times I read it.
I've read two or three of the books and skipped all the movies. I'm genuinely completely neutral on Harry Potter (though not neutral about the author who seems to get more horrible all the time).
However, the biggest cringe-fest I've seen in recent years was the fad for reenacting quiddich games. I get the appeal of imagining yourself flying around on brromsticks. That would be fun! But the reality of people hippity hopping on a lawn with brooms between their legs gives me such intense fremdschämen.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:25 AM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
I've read two or three of the books and skipped all the movies. I'm genuinely completely neutral on Harry Potter (though not neutral about the author who seems to get more horrible all the time).
However, the biggest cringe-fest I've seen in recent years was the fad for reenacting quiddich games. I get the appeal of imagining yourself flying around on brromsticks. That would be fun! But the reality of people hippity hopping on a lawn with brooms between their legs gives me such intense fremdschämen.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:25 AM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
Seveneves. It's pro-eugenics but also incredibly dumb. Absolutely stupid. It's predicted on the idea that for 5000 years people only sleep with their relatives and not the other humans around.
OMG, right? I actually really enjoyed the first part, where they're on the space station and dealing with earth's imminent destruction and all, but I only got a few pages into the second part. I was reminded of it by that front page post about the people who are planning to take over the world by having X number of kids generation after generation. Like, seriously, you think you have that much control over your own kids, let alone theirs, and the ones after that? Holy cow.
I'm a huge fan of Cryptonomicon, and have read it like a hundred times (though I totally get if it's not your thing). But most of the rest of Stephenson's work is only OK, to my mind.
posted by Well I never at 7:35 AM on June 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
OMG, right? I actually really enjoyed the first part, where they're on the space station and dealing with earth's imminent destruction and all, but I only got a few pages into the second part. I was reminded of it by that front page post about the people who are planning to take over the world by having X number of kids generation after generation. Like, seriously, you think you have that much control over your own kids, let alone theirs, and the ones after that? Holy cow.
I'm a huge fan of Cryptonomicon, and have read it like a hundred times (though I totally get if it's not your thing). But most of the rest of Stephenson's work is only OK, to my mind.
posted by Well I never at 7:35 AM on June 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
thivaia, I think you and I are soulmates. I was just mentally ranting about this very thing to myself this morning:
3) Puffy sleeved, tiered ruffle dresses (IS THAT ALL THERE IS ANYMORE? FFS MAKE IT STOP)
but the rest of your list resonated with me as well.
posted by Well I never at 7:37 AM on June 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
3) Puffy sleeved, tiered ruffle dresses (IS THAT ALL THERE IS ANYMORE? FFS MAKE IT STOP)
but the rest of your list resonated with me as well.
posted by Well I never at 7:37 AM on June 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
Ready Player One
I think I got to halfway through page four before I put it down. Sometimes you just know you're in the hands of a writer who has absolutely nothing to tell you. It was a book that had showed up "mysteriously", a sort of phantom volume that had been gifted me by a friend, who had had it gifted by another acquaintance ... and now I was supposed to do the same but not before reading it (of course) and then going to a certain URL and logging in the number of my particular copy. All part of some magical-mystical viral thing.
I didn't gift it to anybody. I used it as a level for a while (I lived in a crooked building at the time) and eventually dumped it in the recycling. Some things just need to be stopped.
posted by philip-random at 7:40 AM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
I think I got to halfway through page four before I put it down. Sometimes you just know you're in the hands of a writer who has absolutely nothing to tell you. It was a book that had showed up "mysteriously", a sort of phantom volume that had been gifted me by a friend, who had had it gifted by another acquaintance ... and now I was supposed to do the same but not before reading it (of course) and then going to a certain URL and logging in the number of my particular copy. All part of some magical-mystical viral thing.
I didn't gift it to anybody. I used it as a level for a while (I lived in a crooked building at the time) and eventually dumped it in the recycling. Some things just need to be stopped.
posted by philip-random at 7:40 AM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
I refuse to eat raw tomatoes.
Any other variant (ketchup, Bolognese sauce, gazpacho, juice, soup, Bloody Mary, Clamato, &c &c) is just fine; hard pass on the raw tho.
posted by chavenet at 7:56 AM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
Any other variant (ketchup, Bolognese sauce, gazpacho, juice, soup, Bloody Mary, Clamato, &c &c) is just fine; hard pass on the raw tho.
posted by chavenet at 7:56 AM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
I thought of another category of things that just set me on edge: hollow, usually auto-tuned cover songs of classic hits. For instance I heard an utterly pointless "Don't Dream It's Over" the other day. Like, if the song is meaningful to you and that connection comes through in your performance, then maybe (but probably not; sorry, Miley, you may love "Heart of Glass" but your performance is unnecessary). If you're recording it because the record label said to do it and you're doing karaoke over a bank of synthesizers, maybe don't do that?
posted by fedward at 7:56 AM on June 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by fedward at 7:56 AM on June 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
The Big Lebowski. Saw it in the theater and still think it's easily the most overrated Coen Brothers movie. It's deeply uninteresting, not particularly funny or clever, and the rabid fandom that has built up around it just blows my mind.
it's the rabid fandom I hate.
I say this because I'm pretty sure I was the first. It started because I lived about two blocks from a theatre that mostly showed second run stuff but every now and then, they'd get something new. Big Lebowski was one of those occasions. It was probably a Monday night, I was bored, so what the hell, I smoked a little marijuana and went to see the latest Cohen brothers movie -- how bad could it be?
I thought it was okay, a few good laughs but overall not really going anywhere, just rambling around a few weird situations albeit with a pretty solid soundtrack. Two nights later, my roommate decides he wants to go but he hates going to movies alone so he offers to buy my ticket. We get high ... and I like it more this time. The funny stuff seems funnier. I'm starting to notice a lot of nuances that passed me by the first time, and that soundtrack is hard to argue with it.
Maybe a week later, I see it again with a different friend. This time, I'm keen to go. Because it's been on my mind. Various riffs that can't help but bring a smile, like all the abuse that gets wreaked on the guy's poor car ... and any movie that hates the Eagles as much as this one does need to be supported. And, as they say, third times the charm. This, I decide, is a unique movie. Unlike anything I've ever experienced -- sorta Thomas Pynchon brought to life, except unlike a Thomas Pynchon novel, I actually care to get to the end of it, I'm loving the ride so much.
And then over a period of maybe a year, it gets released to video stores etc and, inevitably, I end up seeing it a couple or three more times with various friends, because yes, it always brings a smile, it always reveals something I've never noticed before. It has depth. And that soundtrack never gets stale.
Then, the kicker, maybe a year later I sublet a guy's place for a few months. There's a TV but no cable service. And the only videotapes are a bunch of Shakespearean adaptations (part of his thesis research) and, for some reason, The Big Lebowski -- literally, the only non-Shakespearean option. So I take this as a sign. I start just having it on. A lot. Often in the background like a radio drama, often while eating a meal, something to sort of half pay attention to while I'm focused on something else. I'm working on a screenplay at the time and this sorta kinda obsession just seems to work as part of my process. Lebowski's completely different in tone and themes from what I'm working on, but it clicks anyway. Like a friend to hang out with when I need to take break, maybe switch off my conscious mind so my subconscious can step in, take a swing at things.
Anyway, to cut an already too long story short -- I'm sure I ended up seeing Big Lebowski at least thirty times within the first two years of its release. And I never really tired of it. I still haven't. It still takes me somewhere worth being, if only for the soundtrack. Yet nothing bores me quicker than somebody who wants to get all uber-geek about its every detail and nuance, not to mention get all excited about the cult that's built up around it.
Reflecting on it now, I guess it's because the Dude himself would never go there. He'd just give you a look of spaced out bemusement, shrug and go bowling.
posted by philip-random at 8:18 AM on June 12, 2023 [11 favorites]
it's the rabid fandom I hate.
I say this because I'm pretty sure I was the first. It started because I lived about two blocks from a theatre that mostly showed second run stuff but every now and then, they'd get something new. Big Lebowski was one of those occasions. It was probably a Monday night, I was bored, so what the hell, I smoked a little marijuana and went to see the latest Cohen brothers movie -- how bad could it be?
I thought it was okay, a few good laughs but overall not really going anywhere, just rambling around a few weird situations albeit with a pretty solid soundtrack. Two nights later, my roommate decides he wants to go but he hates going to movies alone so he offers to buy my ticket. We get high ... and I like it more this time. The funny stuff seems funnier. I'm starting to notice a lot of nuances that passed me by the first time, and that soundtrack is hard to argue with it.
Maybe a week later, I see it again with a different friend. This time, I'm keen to go. Because it's been on my mind. Various riffs that can't help but bring a smile, like all the abuse that gets wreaked on the guy's poor car ... and any movie that hates the Eagles as much as this one does need to be supported. And, as they say, third times the charm. This, I decide, is a unique movie. Unlike anything I've ever experienced -- sorta Thomas Pynchon brought to life, except unlike a Thomas Pynchon novel, I actually care to get to the end of it, I'm loving the ride so much.
And then over a period of maybe a year, it gets released to video stores etc and, inevitably, I end up seeing it a couple or three more times with various friends, because yes, it always brings a smile, it always reveals something I've never noticed before. It has depth. And that soundtrack never gets stale.
Then, the kicker, maybe a year later I sublet a guy's place for a few months. There's a TV but no cable service. And the only videotapes are a bunch of Shakespearean adaptations (part of his thesis research) and, for some reason, The Big Lebowski -- literally, the only non-Shakespearean option. So I take this as a sign. I start just having it on. A lot. Often in the background like a radio drama, often while eating a meal, something to sort of half pay attention to while I'm focused on something else. I'm working on a screenplay at the time and this sorta kinda obsession just seems to work as part of my process. Lebowski's completely different in tone and themes from what I'm working on, but it clicks anyway. Like a friend to hang out with when I need to take break, maybe switch off my conscious mind so my subconscious can step in, take a swing at things.
Anyway, to cut an already too long story short -- I'm sure I ended up seeing Big Lebowski at least thirty times within the first two years of its release. And I never really tired of it. I still haven't. It still takes me somewhere worth being, if only for the soundtrack. Yet nothing bores me quicker than somebody who wants to get all uber-geek about its every detail and nuance, not to mention get all excited about the cult that's built up around it.
Reflecting on it now, I guess it's because the Dude himself would never go there. He'd just give you a look of spaced out bemusement, shrug and go bowling.
posted by philip-random at 8:18 AM on June 12, 2023 [11 favorites]
Metafilter: taking industrial medieval-tannery quantities of the piss
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:26 AM on June 12, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:26 AM on June 12, 2023 [8 favorites]
Fandom.
I hate "fandom" - and I'm a "fan" of some things, without a second thought, and some of those things are not universally loved. The difference is I'm not gonna throw it in your face and make a deal out of it. I like thing "X" and if you wanna talk about it, cool, but the day is long and there's lots of ground to cover.
posted by From Bklyn at 8:28 AM on June 12, 2023 [12 favorites]
I hate "fandom" - and I'm a "fan" of some things, without a second thought, and some of those things are not universally loved. The difference is I'm not gonna throw it in your face and make a deal out of it. I like thing "X" and if you wanna talk about it, cool, but the day is long and there's lots of ground to cover.
posted by From Bklyn at 8:28 AM on June 12, 2023 [12 favorites]
The Red Balloon. When I was a (bullied) kid my school saw fit to show this movie in class, and it sent me into an actual depression (even if I didn't yet know that word at the time). Reading the Wikipedia synopsis, I suspect that the scene with the bullies destroying the balloon hit so close to home that the other balloons coming to the rescue didn't even register.
posted by rjs at 8:39 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by rjs at 8:39 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
The nauseating "Anne with an E" remake of Anne of Green Gables. Way to not only miss the entire point of the book but to actively misappropriate and misrepresent it. Barf.
"The Giving Tree" is complicated. To me it is obviously a parable about men using women up, or - even more taboo - offspring using their parents up. As such a parable, it is superb. Used as a children's book about a loving relationship, it is a travesty.
Also: jazz. God do I hate jazz music. Raises my anxiety levels til I have to physically get out of earshot.
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:00 AM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
"The Giving Tree" is complicated. To me it is obviously a parable about men using women up, or - even more taboo - offspring using their parents up. As such a parable, it is superb. Used as a children's book about a loving relationship, it is a travesty.
Also: jazz. God do I hate jazz music. Raises my anxiety levels til I have to physically get out of earshot.
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:00 AM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
All the Light We Cannot See.
Almost everyone seems to absolutely love this book, and I’m here thinking “This? This is Pulitzer Prize-worthy?”
Because it’s not just that Anthony Doerr’s mind let him read And There Was Light by Jacques Lusseyran and then write a novel with a bland, helpless, blind protagonist. No, he managed to write a novel where both protagonists are sweet, bland children with no depth, no real goals and no interest to them (some secondary characters are more interesting, but have a mayfly-like appearance in the novel). Sorry, I’m not going to find a character interesting if they’re just carried along on the wave of the events in the story. Speaking of said story, it’s far too insubstantial for the length of the novel. It made it to novel-length by being padded with odd descriptions that hit maybe half the time. The style of writing - I don’t know what makes people describe it as beautiful and lyrical, because to me it’s largely that weird simplistic style that I’d expect in a YA novel. Sentences are short and staccato and rarely use a word that you might have learned after the age of fourteen. Chapters are short and staccato and rarely move the story along much. Finally - and this is 100% my personal bugbear - I hate stories which leap between two or more characters because they continually rip you away from one narrative you were following to another that’s less interesting, as if the author thinks that you’ll appreciate the variety. And I rarely do - especially not in such a dull mess as All the Light We Cannot See.
posted by Rissa at 9:02 AM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
Almost everyone seems to absolutely love this book, and I’m here thinking “This? This is Pulitzer Prize-worthy?”
Because it’s not just that Anthony Doerr’s mind let him read And There Was Light by Jacques Lusseyran and then write a novel with a bland, helpless, blind protagonist. No, he managed to write a novel where both protagonists are sweet, bland children with no depth, no real goals and no interest to them (some secondary characters are more interesting, but have a mayfly-like appearance in the novel). Sorry, I’m not going to find a character interesting if they’re just carried along on the wave of the events in the story. Speaking of said story, it’s far too insubstantial for the length of the novel. It made it to novel-length by being padded with odd descriptions that hit maybe half the time. The style of writing - I don’t know what makes people describe it as beautiful and lyrical, because to me it’s largely that weird simplistic style that I’d expect in a YA novel. Sentences are short and staccato and rarely use a word that you might have learned after the age of fourteen. Chapters are short and staccato and rarely move the story along much. Finally - and this is 100% my personal bugbear - I hate stories which leap between two or more characters because they continually rip you away from one narrative you were following to another that’s less interesting, as if the author thinks that you’ll appreciate the variety. And I rarely do - especially not in such a dull mess as All the Light We Cannot See.
posted by Rissa at 9:02 AM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
I can't honestly be the only one here who despises U2, can I?
Barf!
posted by Twicketface at 9:41 AM on June 12, 2023 [15 favorites]
Barf!
posted by Twicketface at 9:41 AM on June 12, 2023 [15 favorites]
OMG, that is the best description of A Discovery of Witches ever.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:48 AM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:48 AM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
I have only seen bits and pieces of Ted Lasso, but the bits and pieces I've seen are saccharine and have all the subtlety of a lead pipe. And they look like an Apple commercial (derogatory)
posted by JDHarper at 10:40 AM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by JDHarper at 10:40 AM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
they were always saying Riker was this great diplomat, but whenever he actually interacted with aliens in a touchy situation, he just yelled at them
Or boned them, let's be fair.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:43 AM on June 12, 2023 [13 favorites]
Or boned them, let's be fair.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:43 AM on June 12, 2023 [13 favorites]
Enamel pins. You're thirty fucking five, stop putting holes in your clothes so we can all know what nerd shit you like. Completely irrational and petty but there it is.
The Metafilter: [insert text here] joke.
posted by kingdead at 10:47 AM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
The Metafilter: [insert text here] joke.
posted by kingdead at 10:47 AM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
Stand-up comedy. I will freely acknowledge that I hate fun and have no sense of humor as long as that gets me out of watching it.
Also talk radio. And TV news. And most podcasts. Basically if the entertainment form is just people monologuing or chatting... couldn't it have been an email?
posted by mersen at 10:48 AM on June 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
Also talk radio. And TV news. And most podcasts. Basically if the entertainment form is just people monologuing or chatting... couldn't it have been an email?
posted by mersen at 10:48 AM on June 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
MetaFilter: Fleabag-ized breaking of the fourth wall, drunkenness, and weirdly inexplicable conversations.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:51 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by kirkaracha at 10:51 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
Gus Van Sant's "Elephant". What an awful, awful film and how in the world did it win the Palme d'Or at Cannes? Awful acting (Oh they're non-trained actors improvising), grade school level imagery (oh the clouds are getting darker, there's a storm coming, something bad's going to happen), excruciatingly painful direction including literally a 5 minute tracking shot of a kid walking across campus with no dialog or anything remotely interesting happening (oh it's supposed to represent the mundane everyday life of the high school teenager before these tragic events), the painfully insipid characters and their motivation (oh the poor tortured souls who like violent video games but play moonlight sonata). Is this the Emperor's New Clothes of movies. Did people really enjoy this movie, or find it meaningful in any way? I stuck it out, expecting *something* to redeem it, but I regret the hour and a half of my life I spent watching. It's been twenty years and I still hate Gus Van Sant for this.
posted by TwoWordReview at 11:11 AM on June 12, 2023
posted by TwoWordReview at 11:11 AM on June 12, 2023
like having someone sit behind you in the movie theater who laughs and kicks your seat at every goddamn line, and leans forward and whispers "this is a great part, watch this!" and you turn around to tell them to shut the fuck up
This is my assessment of MST3K. Who needs that shit? I'm tryin' to watch the picture here, I don't need yer stupid comments.
I'm genuinely completely neutral on Harry Potter
Even though I'm completely Potter-free, never a book or film, I loathe him. And his rabid fandom. In fact rabid fandom about anything is a tell-tale, a warning to stay away.
Torn jeans. Is your world really one where you never have to kneel? Even (especially) just for a moment? And you bought 'em that way/did that to brand new pants? Good grief.
Buffalo '66. And then they gave that creepy guy even more money, and he filmed that? Which people paid to see? Unbelievable.
The Ramones. Teenybopper music, like the Archies.
I could go on.
posted by Rash at 11:20 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
This is my assessment of MST3K. Who needs that shit? I'm tryin' to watch the picture here, I don't need yer stupid comments.
I'm genuinely completely neutral on Harry Potter
Even though I'm completely Potter-free, never a book or film, I loathe him. And his rabid fandom. In fact rabid fandom about anything is a tell-tale, a warning to stay away.
Torn jeans. Is your world really one where you never have to kneel? Even (especially) just for a moment? And you bought 'em that way/did that to brand new pants? Good grief.
Buffalo '66. And then they gave that creepy guy even more money, and he filmed that? Which people paid to see? Unbelievable.
The Ramones. Teenybopper music, like the Archies.
I could go on.
posted by Rash at 11:20 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'm generally pretty open minded about most media. I was a music snob growing up until college when one of our lecturers made the case that there's always *something* to appreciate about any piece of music. We were probably listening to the production on a Britney Spear's track at the time. So my reaction to most of the posts here has been being tempted to jump in and post a defense of thing because there is always something redeemable but per the spirit of the thread, I have refrained. 'Elephant' is the exception to this point of view for me, I found nothing redeemable about it whatsover. God I hated that film so much!
posted by TwoWordReview at 11:27 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by TwoWordReview at 11:27 AM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
My new pet peeve is people on this thread who in a single comment have two complaints I fully agree with and two that they are clearly mistaken about and I can't decide if I favorite it or not.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:39 AM on June 12, 2023 [53 favorites]
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:39 AM on June 12, 2023 [53 favorites]
You all are doing so great not being arguey with each other. Top marks!
Often my rants are reserved for a thing that almost worked and then swerved or has one irredeemable thing. Like Harry Potter was (arguably, but from my librarian perspective) a great set of books that got kids totally into reading and fantasy novels and... stuff... but now I can't even look at them because JKR is the worst. Other books that are terrible: Dune, Gravity's Rainbow, Kerouac generally. Any fantasy book with an epic battle that is just magical thing vs. magical thing makes no sense to me.
In TV I love all the representation and the period piece stuff in Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (even as I hated Seinfeld) but ultimately, so far (starting season 4), she seems like kind of a jerk. Andor felt limp and lifeless. Ted Lasso lost its way. Game of Thrones was rapey and male gazey.
I hate 98% of jazz but the 2% I do like just sends me. Pink Floyd is overplayed. The Beatles are okay with me but no better.
Wine tastes bad, as do mushrooms and olives.
I've always felt like my dislikes were particular to me (i.e. there's no objectivity to them, I would not argue with anyone who liked these things except of they think JKR is okay) but I get almost incandescently ragey when someone implies I need to try harder or, as mentioned above a few times "just haven't tried the right one..." I like what I like. People who think their own likes and dislikes, especially about cultural stuff, are right/wrong are, themselves, wrong and that is the only argument I (might) get into.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:55 AM on June 12, 2023 [12 favorites]
Often my rants are reserved for a thing that almost worked and then swerved or has one irredeemable thing. Like Harry Potter was (arguably, but from my librarian perspective) a great set of books that got kids totally into reading and fantasy novels and... stuff... but now I can't even look at them because JKR is the worst. Other books that are terrible: Dune, Gravity's Rainbow, Kerouac generally. Any fantasy book with an epic battle that is just magical thing vs. magical thing makes no sense to me.
In TV I love all the representation and the period piece stuff in Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (even as I hated Seinfeld) but ultimately, so far (starting season 4), she seems like kind of a jerk. Andor felt limp and lifeless. Ted Lasso lost its way. Game of Thrones was rapey and male gazey.
I hate 98% of jazz but the 2% I do like just sends me. Pink Floyd is overplayed. The Beatles are okay with me but no better.
Wine tastes bad, as do mushrooms and olives.
I've always felt like my dislikes were particular to me (i.e. there's no objectivity to them, I would not argue with anyone who liked these things except of they think JKR is okay) but I get almost incandescently ragey when someone implies I need to try harder or, as mentioned above a few times "just haven't tried the right one..." I like what I like. People who think their own likes and dislikes, especially about cultural stuff, are right/wrong are, themselves, wrong and that is the only argument I (might) get into.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:55 AM on June 12, 2023 [12 favorites]
Collecting stuff. Ugh. Being so deeply into a single thing that you want to like ... own a lot of it? Stuff is tools. You don't need 500 hammers.
I like baseball. I like to watch baseball games. I do not like to talk about baseball. Like, I don't care what you think "this team needs" or why so-and-so is in a slump. I'm enjoying baseball. Or I'm not, because my team is losing. I don't need to analyze it. I don't need to analyze anything, actually. I actually stopped playing poker with my friends because one guy never fucking stopped talking about every bad beat he took. "Well, I shoulda done this, but maybe he shoulda..." Just shut up.
Honestly, I think I am so deeply (?!) committed to only having very surface-level interaction with most of the entertainment I consume that anything smacking of True Fandom just irritates me. Like, no, I don't care about your fan theories. I watched last week's episode and have already forgotten what happened. I might not even finish the season. Who gives a shit, I have other stuff to do.
But not yard work. Because fuck yard work.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:39 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
I like baseball. I like to watch baseball games. I do not like to talk about baseball. Like, I don't care what you think "this team needs" or why so-and-so is in a slump. I'm enjoying baseball. Or I'm not, because my team is losing. I don't need to analyze it. I don't need to analyze anything, actually. I actually stopped playing poker with my friends because one guy never fucking stopped talking about every bad beat he took. "Well, I shoulda done this, but maybe he shoulda..." Just shut up.
Honestly, I think I am so deeply (?!) committed to only having very surface-level interaction with most of the entertainment I consume that anything smacking of True Fandom just irritates me. Like, no, I don't care about your fan theories. I watched last week's episode and have already forgotten what happened. I might not even finish the season. Who gives a shit, I have other stuff to do.
But not yard work. Because fuck yard work.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:39 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
TV News. Haven't watched it in 25 years, but my informants tell me it hasn't gotten any better.
Game of Thrones: the books. Read like 2.3 of them (I think?) until I realized I just didn't care about any of the characters or plotlines and just stopped. Watched the first episode of the TV show and remembered why I'd dropped the books.
Breaking Bad. Watched 1.5 seasons, people kept telling us to wait to get to the "good part". Got tired of waiting. Dropped it.
Reality Shows (I know, shocking), especially the people who talk about them as if they were unscripted.
Most (but not all) of Reggaeton and Latin Trap music.
A bunch of music you won't know about unless you've lived in Chile or Argentina like Los Tres, Andrés Calamaro, Charlie García, etc., which are way overrrated but you'll have to take my word for it.
posted by signal at 1:04 PM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
Game of Thrones: the books. Read like 2.3 of them (I think?) until I realized I just didn't care about any of the characters or plotlines and just stopped. Watched the first episode of the TV show and remembered why I'd dropped the books.
Breaking Bad. Watched 1.5 seasons, people kept telling us to wait to get to the "good part". Got tired of waiting. Dropped it.
Reality Shows (I know, shocking), especially the people who talk about them as if they were unscripted.
Most (but not all) of Reggaeton and Latin Trap music.
A bunch of music you won't know about unless you've lived in Chile or Argentina like Los Tres, Andrés Calamaro, Charlie García, etc., which are way overrrated but you'll have to take my word for it.
posted by signal at 1:04 PM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
THEY ARE DOGS AND CATS THEY ARE NOT FUR BABIES
:upvote:
Also, your pets are not "crossing the rainbow bridge". Odin is not waiting for your aunt's decrepit Shih Tzu to join him for Ragnarök.
posted by hanov3r at 1:06 PM on June 12, 2023 [14 favorites]
:upvote:
Also, your pets are not "crossing the rainbow bridge". Odin is not waiting for your aunt's decrepit Shih Tzu to join him for Ragnarök.
posted by hanov3r at 1:06 PM on June 12, 2023 [14 favorites]
Any sort of media, especially crappy movies, about the Triumph of the Human Spirit™.
posted by signal at 1:10 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by signal at 1:10 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
Breaking Bad. Watched 1.5 seasons, people kept telling us to wait to get to the "good part".
took me 2.5 seasons. At some point, I asked myself, do I really need to hitch a ride on this slow trip to hell? Because it's pretty clear, that's where it was going. Walt White in particular, even if things did end with a damned good song.
posted by philip-random at 1:17 PM on June 12, 2023
took me 2.5 seasons. At some point, I asked myself, do I really need to hitch a ride on this slow trip to hell? Because it's pretty clear, that's where it was going. Walt White in particular, even if things did end with a damned good song.
posted by philip-random at 1:17 PM on June 12, 2023
The idea that there's some sort of underlying, platonic reality to TV and Movies which is hidden from viewers and is somehow more "real" than the actual TV or Movie as made and watched, and that this can be accesed via fan theories, etc.
The idea that TV or Movies are in some sense more "real" than the Books (comic- or otherwise) they're based on and that as a fan of said books you should be super hyped about the TV or Movies, or angry that they're not good, etc.
posted by signal at 1:29 PM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
The idea that TV or Movies are in some sense more "real" than the Books (comic- or otherwise) they're based on and that as a fan of said books you should be super hyped about the TV or Movies, or angry that they're not good, etc.
posted by signal at 1:29 PM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
(I'll shut up any day now, promise)
Litfic authors (the ones who usually write about college English professors boning their students), who slum it writing an ostensibly Sci-Fi book about some trope that was done to death 50 years ago by real Sci-Fi authors, yet is heralded as brilliant and daring for applying their college-professor-who-bones-his-students bonafides to 'genre' literature.
posted by signal at 1:48 PM on June 12, 2023 [11 favorites]
Litfic authors (the ones who usually write about college English professors boning their students), who slum it writing an ostensibly Sci-Fi book about some trope that was done to death 50 years ago by real Sci-Fi authors, yet is heralded as brilliant and daring for applying their college-professor-who-bones-his-students bonafides to 'genre' literature.
posted by signal at 1:48 PM on June 12, 2023 [11 favorites]
and oh yeah. Superhero shit. All of it*. TV series, movies, comics. Ever since I was maybe nine years old and discovered Classics Illustrated comics, and realized they had way better stories.
* Buckaroo Banzai and Adam West Batman excepted.
posted by philip-random at 2:02 PM on June 12, 2023 [12 favorites]
* Buckaroo Banzai and Adam West Batman excepted.
posted by philip-random at 2:02 PM on June 12, 2023 [12 favorites]
I like baseball. I like to watch baseball games. I do not like to talk about baseball
This reminds me, I really like watching team sports (in particular: baseball, football, other football aka soccer) but I fundamentally do not get the appeal of fantasy sports. I played fantasy football this past NFL season to round out my brother's league, and it was as dumb as I expected. Plus, his friends are petulant babies who abandoned their teams partway through because they did poorly.
But taking players from various teams and cherry picking stats to get points for your made up team ignores the entire point of team sports and I do not get why this is entertaining. Except that it gives you an opportunity to trash talk your friends, I guess, but you can simply "your favorite team sucks" at them regarding real teams.
posted by the primroses were over at 2:16 PM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
This reminds me, I really like watching team sports (in particular: baseball, football, other football aka soccer) but I fundamentally do not get the appeal of fantasy sports. I played fantasy football this past NFL season to round out my brother's league, and it was as dumb as I expected. Plus, his friends are petulant babies who abandoned their teams partway through because they did poorly.
But taking players from various teams and cherry picking stats to get points for your made up team ignores the entire point of team sports and I do not get why this is entertaining. Except that it gives you an opportunity to trash talk your friends, I guess, but you can simply "your favorite team sucks" at them regarding real teams.
posted by the primroses were over at 2:16 PM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
I always thought Rob Halford could sing rings around Robert Plant, whose voice always sounded whiny to me.
I always thought Jim Morrison was overrated. Anytime a Doors song appears on the radio, the station will be switched.
posted by wittgenstein at 2:21 PM on June 12, 2023 [9 favorites]
I always thought Jim Morrison was overrated. Anytime a Doors song appears on the radio, the station will be switched.
posted by wittgenstein at 2:21 PM on June 12, 2023 [9 favorites]
Any sort of media, especially crappy movies, about the Triumph of the Human Spirit™.
Sci-fi specific case: all stories and tumblr posts about how when we meet aliens they’ll be SO IMPRESSED because humans are the most $X! More $X than any other species because evolution made us that way!
Big “if I could transfer to high school two towns over nobody would know me and I could be really cool” feels. Terrible H_0.
posted by clew at 2:30 PM on June 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
Sci-fi specific case: all stories and tumblr posts about how when we meet aliens they’ll be SO IMPRESSED because humans are the most $X! More $X than any other species because evolution made us that way!
Big “if I could transfer to high school two towns over nobody would know me and I could be really cool” feels. Terrible H_0.
posted by clew at 2:30 PM on June 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
Did people actually like Everything Everywhere All At Once? Because I. Did. Not. I wish I could rant as eloquently as others in this thread, but "Yuck" is all I got (but it's a very heartfelt "yuck"!).
posted by mpark at 2:59 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by mpark at 2:59 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
Ok... shitting on all types of media isn't too personal... but I gotta say it... am I the only other person with pets as family a little bummed by the "furbabies" comment? Lol.
I get it. I used to be annoyed with humans with their human babies. But dogs and cats?
Yes, they are fur babies and yes we are their parents and yes, those furbabies have grandparents.
My sister is childless by choice but she is definitely a cat mom and we definitely honor that. 😝
posted by AnyUsernameWillDo at 3:27 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
I get it. I used to be annoyed with humans with their human babies. But dogs and cats?
Yes, they are fur babies and yes we are their parents and yes, those furbabies have grandparents.
My sister is childless by choice but she is definitely a cat mom and we definitely honor that. 😝
posted by AnyUsernameWillDo at 3:27 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
You all are doing so great not being arguey with each other. Top marks!
I'm actually really impressed no one (unless there have been deletions) has let loose with a "screw you, how dare you say this about my favorite thing!" rant. I fully admit I've been tempted.
\Wine tastes bad, as do mushrooms and olives.
For example...
posted by Dip Flash at 4:16 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
I'm actually really impressed no one (unless there have been deletions) has let loose with a "screw you, how dare you say this about my favorite thing!" rant. I fully admit I've been tempted.
\Wine tastes bad, as do mushrooms and olives.
For example...
posted by Dip Flash at 4:16 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel.
I really enjoyed Station Eleven, so I was looking forward to this, and I honestly only finished it out of a) spite and b) the hope that there would be some miracle revelation at the end that would flip the narrative on its head and change my perspective. This did not happen.
God, I hated this book so much. It's poorly plotted and poorly written, a jumbled mismatch of time travel cliches, I hated it, I hated it, I hated it.
And then all the praise! Every best of list everywhere! One of Barack Obama's favorite books of the year! Award after award! And every single one just made me more confused and upset.
See, I'm getting worked up all over again.
Shitty book!
posted by kbanas at 4:17 PM on June 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
I really enjoyed Station Eleven, so I was looking forward to this, and I honestly only finished it out of a) spite and b) the hope that there would be some miracle revelation at the end that would flip the narrative on its head and change my perspective. This did not happen.
God, I hated this book so much. It's poorly plotted and poorly written, a jumbled mismatch of time travel cliches, I hated it, I hated it, I hated it.
And then all the praise! Every best of list everywhere! One of Barack Obama's favorite books of the year! Award after award! And every single one just made me more confused and upset.
See, I'm getting worked up all over again.
Shitty book!
posted by kbanas at 4:17 PM on June 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
Big “if I could transfer to high school two towns over nobody would know me and I could be really cool” feels.
Not so much hate, but deep cringing revulsion for a relative of this: heroes that are so clearly idealized versions of the author, and villains that are obviously stand-ins for the kids that tormented them when they were younger?
I just showed (on a rainy day right before a typhoon) perennial AskMe favorite All Summer in a Day to a high school class of mine. I was honestly pleasantly surprised by how closely they watched it, but the heavy handedness of "aw, isn't Margot so precious, she writes poetry, it shows she has a kind soul" to the blatant "the evil bully hates Margot because she has knowledge and feelings" was hard to ignore. I'm sorry elementary school was so rough, Mr. Bradbury, and I like your stories and all, but... yeesh.
This goes double for when the author is/was an actual trash human being, and the non-ironic hero of the story is just an absolutely awful person, and the villains are just normal, decent people who are uncomfortable with how terrible they really are.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:18 PM on June 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
Not so much hate, but deep cringing revulsion for a relative of this: heroes that are so clearly idealized versions of the author, and villains that are obviously stand-ins for the kids that tormented them when they were younger?
I just showed (on a rainy day right before a typhoon) perennial AskMe favorite All Summer in a Day to a high school class of mine. I was honestly pleasantly surprised by how closely they watched it, but the heavy handedness of "aw, isn't Margot so precious, she writes poetry, it shows she has a kind soul" to the blatant "the evil bully hates Margot because she has knowledge and feelings" was hard to ignore. I'm sorry elementary school was so rough, Mr. Bradbury, and I like your stories and all, but... yeesh.
This goes double for when the author is/was an actual trash human being, and the non-ironic hero of the story is just an absolutely awful person, and the villains are just normal, decent people who are uncomfortable with how terrible they really are.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:18 PM on June 12, 2023 [1 favorite]
kyrademon's takedown of Discovery of Witches is the best thing EVER. I worked in a bookstore when it was (briefly, sorta) big and we called it the Yoga Vampire Book, as in, NO GOD GET IT OUT OF HERE, STUPID YOGA VAMPIRES.
I also hate Twilight, even though I never read the book or watched the movies, because any immortal vampire who can't think of something better to do with their unlife than go to high school in rural Washington is not worth my time. I mean at least go to the school for the arts in Baltimore city or something if you have to letch on teens!
I also hate fandom and I hate people who only talk about TV shows and movies, often only in quotes from those TV shows or movies. No, I'm sorry, you have to have an original thought in your head to transfer to this conversation. Please stop being completely obsessed with other people's creations. Building your whole life around a TV show? No, just no. Make your own damn shows. Write your own movies. Just don't write fan fiction. I wrote one piece of fan fiction in my life and it was for my sixth grade class: I put every single one of us on the starship Enterprise in some capacity and also we got to fight our way off a planet. Everyone said they liked it, but I was still unpopular. There's a moral here and the moral is MAKE UP YOUR OWN STUFF. And also, stop being 12. Being obsessed by some capitalist concept - yes, they're there to make money - is fine when you're a kid. As an adult? Not so much.
Oh and I hate later Neal Stephenson with a passion. I loved everything up to Anathem but everything since then has just been so unbearably, horrifically terrible. It's like a betrayal. What happened? I blame the Mongoliad, which was so unbelievably terrible I couldn't even get through more than the first chapter.
posted by mygothlaundry at 4:21 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
I also hate Twilight, even though I never read the book or watched the movies, because any immortal vampire who can't think of something better to do with their unlife than go to high school in rural Washington is not worth my time. I mean at least go to the school for the arts in Baltimore city or something if you have to letch on teens!
I also hate fandom and I hate people who only talk about TV shows and movies, often only in quotes from those TV shows or movies. No, I'm sorry, you have to have an original thought in your head to transfer to this conversation. Please stop being completely obsessed with other people's creations. Building your whole life around a TV show? No, just no. Make your own damn shows. Write your own movies. Just don't write fan fiction. I wrote one piece of fan fiction in my life and it was for my sixth grade class: I put every single one of us on the starship Enterprise in some capacity and also we got to fight our way off a planet. Everyone said they liked it, but I was still unpopular. There's a moral here and the moral is MAKE UP YOUR OWN STUFF. And also, stop being 12. Being obsessed by some capitalist concept - yes, they're there to make money - is fine when you're a kid. As an adult? Not so much.
Oh and I hate later Neal Stephenson with a passion. I loved everything up to Anathem but everything since then has just been so unbearably, horrifically terrible. It's like a betrayal. What happened? I blame the Mongoliad, which was so unbelievably terrible I couldn't even get through more than the first chapter.
posted by mygothlaundry at 4:21 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
Life of Pi.
The only book I have physically thrown.
posted by Vatnesine at 4:29 PM on June 12, 2023 [8 favorites]
The only book I have physically thrown.
posted by Vatnesine at 4:29 PM on June 12, 2023 [8 favorites]
When my wife and I bought our (tiny) house I would mow our (tiny) yard, and edge it and everything. I have an electric lawnmower and had an electrician put an outlet on the front of our house for the mower.
Then one day my neighbor said he didn't want to be a grass farmer and I haven't mowed since.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:29 PM on June 12, 2023
Then one day my neighbor said he didn't want to be a grass farmer and I haven't mowed since.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:29 PM on June 12, 2023
Ready Player One
That book has pride of place in my fireplace grate. If I ever wrote a book and the publisher needed a photograph of the author I would send them a photograph of Ready Player One in my fireplace grate.
posted by tzikeh at 5:03 PM on June 12, 2023
That book has pride of place in my fireplace grate. If I ever wrote a book and the publisher needed a photograph of the author I would send them a photograph of Ready Player One in my fireplace grate.
posted by tzikeh at 5:03 PM on June 12, 2023
Metafilter: The Metafilter: [insert text here] joke.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 5:03 PM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 5:03 PM on June 12, 2023 [3 favorites]
clew: "Sci-fi specific case: all stories and tumblr posts about how when we meet aliens they’ll be SO IMPRESSED because humans are the most $X! More $X than any other species because evolution made us that way!"
There's actually a whole sub on reddit where people post (almost completely crap) stories made on this exact template, if that's your thing:
https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/
posted by signal at 5:44 PM on June 12, 2023
There's actually a whole sub on reddit where people post (almost completely crap) stories made on this exact template, if that's your thing:
https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/
posted by signal at 5:44 PM on June 12, 2023
The Celestine Prophecy.
The only possible thing worse than the original book are the ELEVEN sequels.
posted by signal at 5:45 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
The only possible thing worse than the original book are the ELEVEN sequels.
posted by signal at 5:45 PM on June 12, 2023 [6 favorites]
I'm picturing another Anus Wasp added to someone's personal Wasp Suppository every time they make a dad joke.
"Hi, I'm picturing another Anus Wasp added to someone's personal Wasp Suppository every time they make a dad joke, I'm Da- *muffled screaming as the anus wasps attack*
posted by nakedmolerats at 5:53 PM on June 12, 2023
"Hi, I'm picturing another Anus Wasp added to someone's personal Wasp Suppository every time they make a dad joke, I'm Da- *muffled screaming as the anus wasps attack*
posted by nakedmolerats at 5:53 PM on June 12, 2023
*feverishly stocks up on wasp repellent*
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:42 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:42 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
I am baffled by what the appeal of The Matrix movies is supposed to be (indeed, The Wachowskis are in a not-especially-exclusive club along with Christopher Nolan, Zack Snyder, and M. Night Shyamalan as currently working directors who made a single watchable movie at the outset and then retreated to portentous overhyped dreck ever after). I have gone back to look at the first one two or three times and it approaches mediocre from below; the subsequent instalments are basically unwatchable.
At best, it seems like a rejected sketch from MAD TV or something where a couple of stoners excitedly try to brainstorm the most awesome movie they can imagine that will absolutely blow everyone’s minds. Yeah, no.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:04 PM on June 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
At best, it seems like a rejected sketch from MAD TV or something where a couple of stoners excitedly try to brainstorm the most awesome movie they can imagine that will absolutely blow everyone’s minds. Yeah, no.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:04 PM on June 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
Villains. Especially supervillains. Especially supervillains with a theme or gimmick, like the Joker. I absolutely hate the whole stupid, ridiculous concept of villains. I'm not a fan of the "battle between good and evil" trope either. It has nothing to do with real life and it doesn't appeal to me as an escape from real life.
posted by Redstart at 8:02 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Redstart at 8:02 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
don't get me started on heroes
posted by philip-random at 9:08 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by philip-random at 9:08 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
I initially read that as "don't get me started on herpes" and thought, I doubt you'll get much pushback on that...
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:11 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:11 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
I'm an elder millennial and I can't abide Radiohead. It's the only band that consistently grates on my nerves so badly I turn off the radio. I feel like that's the one band everyone my age agrees is truly great and I just don't see it. I'd truly rather listen to almost anything else, including some really objectively bad music.
posted by potrzebie at 9:44 PM on June 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by potrzebie at 9:44 PM on June 12, 2023 [5 favorites]
philip-random: don't get me started on heroes
I'm pretty OK with it as sung by Bowie himself, somewhat less so when it's Nico, but I consider the cover by Motörhead my favourite.
posted by Stoneshop at 9:56 PM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'm pretty OK with it as sung by Bowie himself, somewhat less so when it's Nico, but I consider the cover by Motörhead my favourite.
posted by Stoneshop at 9:56 PM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
Oh god, adults saying the word veggies. You're not a fucking child, the word is vegetables.
never go to Australia, where not using “abbreviated version of a word ending in -o or -ie” is practically courtly formal speech
posted by Jon Mitchell at 10:00 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
never go to Australia, where not using “abbreviated version of a word ending in -o or -ie” is practically courtly formal speech
posted by Jon Mitchell at 10:00 PM on June 12, 2023 [4 favorites]
but I consider the cover by Motörhead my favourite.
I lean toward Till Lindemann
posted by philip-random at 10:06 PM on June 12, 2023
I lean toward Till Lindemann
posted by philip-random at 10:06 PM on June 12, 2023
Guys. I thought I hated hate. I thought the warmth of kindness was the only way. But the warmth of this hate-thread is like hanging out in a park on a perfect summer's day.
I'm so confused.
(Also: fuck beaches)
posted by Alex404 at 11:00 PM on June 12, 2023 [20 favorites]
I'm so confused.
(Also: fuck beaches)
posted by Alex404 at 11:00 PM on June 12, 2023 [20 favorites]
METAFILTER: I'm so confused.
posted by philip-random at 11:06 PM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by philip-random at 11:06 PM on June 12, 2023 [2 favorites]
Jodi Picoult novels. The way she artificially amps the drama by taking a stubby boring little paragraph and following it up with a single sentence on its own, like:
posted by eirias at 3:24 AM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
But not for Timmy.There’s plenty of other popular media that leaves me cold (lots of it name checked already above: Star Wars, The Matrix, superhero movies) but Picoult is pretty much the only one I find rantworthy. It made me so mad when a bunch of her books got banned from a library because, god damnit, now I have to root for her.
posted by eirias at 3:24 AM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
Guys. I thought I hated hate. I thought the warmth of kindness was the only way. But the warmth of this hate-thread is like hanging out in a park on a perfect summer's day.
I'm so confused.
I may have told this story before, but I'm telling it again, because it's a delightful memory:
It was some weekend afternoon my second year of college. I was in my room, and suddenly heard someone talking loudly out in the hallway; curiously, I peered through the peephole. It was one of the guys from the room next to mine - he'd retreated to the hallway to study, but had hit some kind of wall and was loudly talking about how much he hated what he was reading. "I hate organic chemistry! I hate the chemical equations, I hate figuring out the models, and I hate that I have to read this instead of going outside!" and so on.
I opened the door. "You know what I hate...." I said, before he could apologize (because I was more amused than mad) - "you know what I hate, I hate that drama students even have a science requirement in the first place."
"Oh man yes!" He shut his book. "you know what I hate, i hate that my roommate is still asleep and the study rooms downstairs are full so I had to come out here."
"Ugh, roommates!" I came out to sit down beside him. "I hate when they do a half-assed job cleaning the bathroom."
"And they leave blobs of shaving cream in the sink?"
"YES! Well, toothpaste, but YES! Oh, and here's another one - how about when your professor assigns extra reading right before the weekend you had this big plan for something!"
"OH GOD YES...."
And we sat out there for a good 40 minutes on the floor in the hallway going back and forth like that, and it was A BLAST. We were sitting right by the elevator, and that whole time, anytime anyone got off the elevator, we would cheerfully look up and greet them: "Hi! We're hating things! What do you hate?" And a couple people even lingered with us a couple minutes to join in before heading to their rooms or whatever.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:10 AM on June 13, 2023 [17 favorites]
I'm so confused.
I may have told this story before, but I'm telling it again, because it's a delightful memory:
It was some weekend afternoon my second year of college. I was in my room, and suddenly heard someone talking loudly out in the hallway; curiously, I peered through the peephole. It was one of the guys from the room next to mine - he'd retreated to the hallway to study, but had hit some kind of wall and was loudly talking about how much he hated what he was reading. "I hate organic chemistry! I hate the chemical equations, I hate figuring out the models, and I hate that I have to read this instead of going outside!" and so on.
I opened the door. "You know what I hate...." I said, before he could apologize (because I was more amused than mad) - "you know what I hate, I hate that drama students even have a science requirement in the first place."
"Oh man yes!" He shut his book. "you know what I hate, i hate that my roommate is still asleep and the study rooms downstairs are full so I had to come out here."
"Ugh, roommates!" I came out to sit down beside him. "I hate when they do a half-assed job cleaning the bathroom."
"And they leave blobs of shaving cream in the sink?"
"YES! Well, toothpaste, but YES! Oh, and here's another one - how about when your professor assigns extra reading right before the weekend you had this big plan for something!"
"OH GOD YES...."
And we sat out there for a good 40 minutes on the floor in the hallway going back and forth like that, and it was A BLAST. We were sitting right by the elevator, and that whole time, anytime anyone got off the elevator, we would cheerfully look up and greet them: "Hi! We're hating things! What do you hate?" And a couple people even lingered with us a couple minutes to join in before heading to their rooms or whatever.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:10 AM on June 13, 2023 [17 favorites]
* Buckaroo Banzai and Adam West Batman excepted.
Adam West Batman should marry Chanel West Coast.
they'd become the West Coast-Batmans
Buckaroo Banzai can officiate.
posted by chavenet at 4:43 AM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
Adam West Batman should marry Chanel West Coast.
they'd become the West Coast-Batmans
Buckaroo Banzai can officiate.
posted by chavenet at 4:43 AM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
Hamilton. (Having said that, I hate it much less intensely now that the zeitgeist has moved on a bit and there is escape from it.)
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 4:43 AM on June 13, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 4:43 AM on June 13, 2023 [9 favorites]
I just want to epilogue everything with "But not for Timmy" now.
I hate it much less intensely now that the zeitgeist has moved on a bit and there is escape from it.posted by taz (staff) at 7:32 AM on June 13, 2023 [16 favorites]
But not for Timmy.
I detest Holocaust fiction. There, I said it.
There are so many -- millions -- of true things that happened. There were real some heroes and there were so, so many real victims. There was an endless catalog of documented horrors, the ENTIRE POINT of which is that they are entirely true, and not long ago. My grandmother's generation. There are even still people alive who remember, and many many people for whom it was their parents.
So it is very gross to me that people feel the need to:
1. make money off of inventing stories that didn't actually happen, when there are so many to tell that DID happen
2. use the Holocaust as a fun background for other stories or ideas they want to tell (I'm looking at you, Benigni, and your "turn that Auschwitz frown upside down" movie... ugh)
3. worst of all -- use the Holocaust as a background for telling FICTIONAL chest-beating fantasies of heroic resistance that didn't happen. That fucking Tarantino movie about Nazi hunters. It would have been nice if it were true. But it isn't.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:05 AM on June 13, 2023 [20 favorites]
There are so many -- millions -- of true things that happened. There were real some heroes and there were so, so many real victims. There was an endless catalog of documented horrors, the ENTIRE POINT of which is that they are entirely true, and not long ago. My grandmother's generation. There are even still people alive who remember, and many many people for whom it was their parents.
So it is very gross to me that people feel the need to:
1. make money off of inventing stories that didn't actually happen, when there are so many to tell that DID happen
2. use the Holocaust as a fun background for other stories or ideas they want to tell (I'm looking at you, Benigni, and your "turn that Auschwitz frown upside down" movie... ugh)
3. worst of all -- use the Holocaust as a background for telling FICTIONAL chest-beating fantasies of heroic resistance that didn't happen. That fucking Tarantino movie about Nazi hunters. It would have been nice if it were true. But it isn't.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:05 AM on June 13, 2023 [20 favorites]
1. Take On Me by a-ha. Massively overplayed, not that great a song (mainly seems to show-off the lead singer hitting high notes), and a weird video which seemed to be anti-1950s racing drivers, for some kind. Am not against a-ha; The Sun Always Shines on TV is a favourite.
2. Having said that, the radio in the cafe I was in earlier today was playing Hotel California by The Eagles and ye Gods that song seems to drag on to about 3 hours in length and gets slower (more boring) and slower. Just. Fucking. End.
3. Modern food packaging. Am I just getting old, or does seemingly every kind of food packaging either:
- puts up an existential struggle to be opened ("You've bought me, the fuck you are getting at my contents, and I am designed to withstand most of the tools in your kitchen or garage")
- when very carefully opened, spills a considerable amount of content in unexpected directions
- rips in some stupid place, so I can't reseal it and either have to eat the whole lot, or repackage the left-overs
posted by Wordshore at 8:07 AM on June 13, 2023 [15 favorites]
2. Having said that, the radio in the cafe I was in earlier today was playing Hotel California by The Eagles and ye Gods that song seems to drag on to about 3 hours in length and gets slower (more boring) and slower. Just. Fucking. End.
3. Modern food packaging. Am I just getting old, or does seemingly every kind of food packaging either:
- puts up an existential struggle to be opened ("You've bought me, the fuck you are getting at my contents, and I am designed to withstand most of the tools in your kitchen or garage")
- when very carefully opened, spills a considerable amount of content in unexpected directions
- rips in some stupid place, so I can't reseal it and either have to eat the whole lot, or repackage the left-overs
posted by Wordshore at 8:07 AM on June 13, 2023 [15 favorites]
Oh, "Hotel California" needs to just fuck off straight into the sun. Especially that interminable guitar outro.
posted by Daily Alice at 8:24 AM on June 13, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by Daily Alice at 8:24 AM on June 13, 2023 [8 favorites]
Lana Del Rey.
Every time I hear my kid listening to one of her shitty faux-so-sad songs I want to rip the iPhone out of her hands and put on some Neko Case so she can hear what a real talented female singer/songwriter sounds like.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:31 AM on June 13, 2023 [5 favorites]
Every time I hear my kid listening to one of her shitty faux-so-sad songs I want to rip the iPhone out of her hands and put on some Neko Case so she can hear what a real talented female singer/songwriter sounds like.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:31 AM on June 13, 2023 [5 favorites]
I'm baffled and disgusted at the fashion for using face filters on videos and photos. People KNOW those aren't the "influencers" real faces, right? So... what's the appeal? It's NOT A REAL FACE! So what power does it have? I love artfully applied makeup that changes the look of a face -- that's real magic -- but a filter is nothing!
*shakes fist*
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:38 AM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
*shakes fist*
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:38 AM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
This is a strangely enjoyable thread, even though a few of you are wrong. :D
I expect some of you will think the same of me. Hooray!
The Giving Tree is freaking awful.
I tried to like The Smiths/Morrissey to be cool because I desperately wanted to fit in decades ago, but I have always found their/his music horribly grating/whiny/unpleasant.
The Chevy Chase Vacation movies. (Really just a preference thing - I don't like cringey humor and there are plenty of other examples. But people I know and like really love these and.. ugh no.)
posted by Glinn at 8:45 AM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
I expect some of you will think the same of me. Hooray!
The Giving Tree is freaking awful.
I tried to like The Smiths/Morrissey to be cool because I desperately wanted to fit in decades ago, but I have always found their/his music horribly grating/whiny/unpleasant.
The Chevy Chase Vacation movies. (Really just a preference thing - I don't like cringey humor and there are plenty of other examples. But people I know and like really love these and.. ugh no.)
posted by Glinn at 8:45 AM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
the music they play at my gym! gym music should be energetic and rhythmic! but instead they play a genre of popular music that is just a man grunting sadly. I hate it with my life.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:46 AM on June 13, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:46 AM on June 13, 2023 [5 favorites]
Summer can fuck off, at least the part of it that's a US mid-Atlantic living-in-an-armpit summer. I cannot comprehend how someone can enjoy being outside, and worse, actually doing things, when it's in the upper 80s/lower 90s (F, obviously) with unrelenting humidity. Going to the beach makes it worse, because you're stuck outside, in the sun, with too much sand sticking to your sweat and suncreen, and you have to put up with all the people who think it's a good idea to go to the beach under those conditions.
Full disclaimer: I enjoy the beach in other seasons. It's that going to the beach in the summer just manages to amplify all of things I don't like about summer in general.
posted by mollweide at 8:57 AM on June 13, 2023 [13 favorites]
Full disclaimer: I enjoy the beach in other seasons. It's that going to the beach in the summer just manages to amplify all of things I don't like about summer in general.
posted by mollweide at 8:57 AM on June 13, 2023 [13 favorites]
EmpressCallipygos, I'm seriously wanting to propose that our next thread along these lines is just a tiny petty bitches thread, for stuff like "I hate the taste of toothpaste because Minty Fresh Mouth is so gross once you want to eat," or "I hate having to pre-eat hours before I am actually hungry because I have to leave at 4:30 and I can't get near food again until 10:30," or "I hate that everyone else loves coffee and I can't stand coffee and I'm so jealous that everyone else loves it and I feel left out of society because to me it's drinking ashes no matter how much sugar/cream/foam you put in."
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:12 AM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:12 AM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
Well, I don't hate it, but right now I'm 100 pages into "American Psycho" and I'm still wondering what all the hype is about. This is a book that I have postponed reading until now, because I imagined it was written with so much cold genius that it would act as a scalpel on my brain.
Every time Bateman spots a person, we get a quarter page of prose which sounds like it's been cut right out of a fashion magazine. "[Person] is wearing a six-button double-breasted suit by [brand name], a cotton shirt, a patterned silk tie by [another friggin' brand], perforated cap-toe lace-ups by [yet another brand], a cotton handkerchief in his pocket, probably from [yes, another brand], sunglasses by [I don't really care] lie on a napkin by his drink and a fairly nice attache case by [whatever] rests on an empty chair." And yeah, that's a real sentence out of the book; I just redacted all the brand names out of spite.
I could get it if Ellis introduced just a few people like this, but he does it every god damn time. Anyone who would like to explain what I don't understand here, or is the book really overrated?
posted by Termite at 9:17 AM on June 13, 2023 [6 favorites]
Every time Bateman spots a person, we get a quarter page of prose which sounds like it's been cut right out of a fashion magazine. "[Person] is wearing a six-button double-breasted suit by [brand name], a cotton shirt, a patterned silk tie by [another friggin' brand], perforated cap-toe lace-ups by [yet another brand], a cotton handkerchief in his pocket, probably from [yes, another brand], sunglasses by [I don't really care] lie on a napkin by his drink and a fairly nice attache case by [whatever] rests on an empty chair." And yeah, that's a real sentence out of the book; I just redacted all the brand names out of spite.
I could get it if Ellis introduced just a few people like this, but he does it every god damn time. Anyone who would like to explain what I don't understand here, or is the book really overrated?
posted by Termite at 9:17 AM on June 13, 2023 [6 favorites]
Huh, that complaint about American Psycho sounds alot like my complaints about Ready Player One. If you suck at getting a reader to visualize a scene, just name-drop a lot of other things the reader probably knows.
posted by JoeZydeco at 9:57 AM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by JoeZydeco at 9:57 AM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
Just a few...
I will eat just about any food, but cannot abide any member of the squash family, eggplants and any food that can be described as "mucilaginous" (boiled okra, I'm looking at you).
I loathe sneakers with tailored menswear and/or wearing an untucked shirt with a sports coat/blazer/suit jacket, both of which make a grown man look like a teenager who doesn't know how to dress himself and thinks he's rebelling against conventions he doesn't understand.
he does it every god damn time. Anyone who would like to explain what I don't understand here, or is the book really overrated?
It's an illustration of the protagonist's superficial competitive materialist view of the world.
posted by slkinsey at 10:07 AM on June 13, 2023 [6 favorites]
I will eat just about any food, but cannot abide any member of the squash family, eggplants and any food that can be described as "mucilaginous" (boiled okra, I'm looking at you).
I loathe sneakers with tailored menswear and/or wearing an untucked shirt with a sports coat/blazer/suit jacket, both of which make a grown man look like a teenager who doesn't know how to dress himself and thinks he's rebelling against conventions he doesn't understand.
he does it every god damn time. Anyone who would like to explain what I don't understand here, or is the book really overrated?
It's an illustration of the protagonist's superficial competitive materialist view of the world.
posted by slkinsey at 10:07 AM on June 13, 2023 [6 favorites]
Crocs.
They are not footwear.
And people who wear them to a family funeral do not deserve any inheritance (don't ask).
posted by Wordshore at 10:31 AM on June 13, 2023 [9 favorites]
They are not footwear.
And people who wear them to a family funeral do not deserve any inheritance (don't ask).
posted by Wordshore at 10:31 AM on June 13, 2023 [9 favorites]
Termite: he does it every god damn time. Anyone who would like to explain what I don't understand here
Me, as totally unqualified armchair shrink: Ellis is a psycho himself, and thinks he can torture readers that way.
Fortunately, books can be lightly thrown aside. Or hurled with great force.
posted by Stoneshop at 12:04 PM on June 13, 2023 [2 favorites]
Me, as totally unqualified armchair shrink: Ellis is a psycho himself, and thinks he can torture readers that way.
Fortunately, books can be lightly thrown aside. Or hurled with great force.
posted by Stoneshop at 12:04 PM on June 13, 2023 [2 favorites]
METAFILTER: like a teenager who doesn't know how to dress himself and thinks he's rebelling against conventions he doesn't understand.
posted by philip-random at 12:28 PM on June 13, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by philip-random at 12:28 PM on June 13, 2023 [5 favorites]
I don't understand why anyone would be invested in the performance of a sports team, other than maybe if it's the team of the place where you live, and you feel like it's your mascot. They're all the same! A bunch of overpaid jocks! At best they're going to work hard to play well but so what? I understand enjoying seeing a game well played, but why would you care who wins?! Why would you wear a guy's number? You think he's wearing your number?!
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:04 PM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:04 PM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
I'd literally rather eat dirt than attend a football or baseball game, and I don't understand why anyone does it much less pays for the privilege. So boring! Takes forever! And it's usually hot out.
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:07 PM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:07 PM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
cOnTroVerSial oPiniOn: most porn.
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:09 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:09 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
the Da Vinci Code, a record-breaking bestseller, was embarrassingly, cringingly bad.
I don't even remember ALL the ways in which it was terrible, just that everyone liked it and I got it for my fiance as a gift and I was all excited to give it to him and then when I read it I was so embarrassed.
I do remember one thing, which is that the great sin, the terrible crime that the dad does that the daughter (?) cuts ties with him for, is that he hosts some sort of sex orgy in his own house. Shit, if you walk in on another adult, who is not your partner, having sex in their house, it is not your place to piss and moan and judge them! Next time mind your own business, knock before you enter, don't come over without an invitation, and if you walk in on a party you don't want to attend, just leave quietly!
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:10 PM on June 13, 2023 [6 favorites]
I don't even remember ALL the ways in which it was terrible, just that everyone liked it and I got it for my fiance as a gift and I was all excited to give it to him and then when I read it I was so embarrassed.
I do remember one thing, which is that the great sin, the terrible crime that the dad does that the daughter (?) cuts ties with him for, is that he hosts some sort of sex orgy in his own house. Shit, if you walk in on another adult, who is not your partner, having sex in their house, it is not your place to piss and moan and judge them! Next time mind your own business, knock before you enter, don't come over without an invitation, and if you walk in on a party you don't want to attend, just leave quietly!
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:10 PM on June 13, 2023 [6 favorites]
Narrator : " He (Brutus) was ashamed of his boasting, his pretensions of courage and ruthlessness. He was sorry about his cold-bloodedness, his dispassion, his inability to express what he now believed was the case: That he truly regretted killing J̶e̶s̶s̶e̶ Caeser, that he missed the man as much as anybody, and wished his murder hadn't been necessary."
posted by clavdivs at 1:10 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 1:10 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
It’s A Wonderful Life — which should be known by its full title, It’s A Wonderful Life For Everyone Except You George Bailey You Absolute DOORMAT.
posted by profreader at 1:15 PM on June 13, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by profreader at 1:15 PM on June 13, 2023 [10 favorites]
Morrissey's voice. Morrissey's voice makes me want to claw my eardrums out. I tried so many times to get into The Smiths because people's whose taste in music I otherwise very much liked were into The Smiths, but I just couldn't. I like plenty of Smiths' songs in cover versions, but Morrissey's voice is capable of making me physically recoil. It's less a rant than a physical expression of pain.
Somewhat similarly, although less intensely, I cannot listen to Bob Dylan. Dylan covers, sure, Dylan's voice, no. And while I don't have a problem with Mick Jagger's voice, per se, something about his intonation drives me up a goddamn wall and therefore I cannot tolerate Rolling Stones songs (and when I briefly made an honest attempt to get past this, found the lyrics ranged from dull to distasteful, so why bother).
See also: Ira Glass and Garrison Keilor. There were about five minutes at some point in the past when I almost felt bad for writing off all these men's various output because of their voices, but then I remembered all of the critique and policing of women's voices in the media and decided what the hell. Let me irrationally, intensely dislike some men on the basis of how they sound.
fingersandtoes, I would give SO MUCH to have the few hours of my life I spent on The Da Vinci Code back. I stuck with it because a friend whose taste in books I generally agree with loved it and I thought "surely it must get good at some point" and it did not. I have not been so annoyed since I spent an afternoon reading The Bridges of Madison County and realized as soon as I put it down that every word of it had slid through my brain like water, with no lasting effect of any kind other than annoyance.
posted by EvaDestruction at 1:18 PM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
Somewhat similarly, although less intensely, I cannot listen to Bob Dylan. Dylan covers, sure, Dylan's voice, no. And while I don't have a problem with Mick Jagger's voice, per se, something about his intonation drives me up a goddamn wall and therefore I cannot tolerate Rolling Stones songs (and when I briefly made an honest attempt to get past this, found the lyrics ranged from dull to distasteful, so why bother).
See also: Ira Glass and Garrison Keilor. There were about five minutes at some point in the past when I almost felt bad for writing off all these men's various output because of their voices, but then I remembered all of the critique and policing of women's voices in the media and decided what the hell. Let me irrationally, intensely dislike some men on the basis of how they sound.
fingersandtoes, I would give SO MUCH to have the few hours of my life I spent on The Da Vinci Code back. I stuck with it because a friend whose taste in books I generally agree with loved it and I thought "surely it must get good at some point" and it did not. I have not been so annoyed since I spent an afternoon reading The Bridges of Madison County and realized as soon as I put it down that every word of it had slid through my brain like water, with no lasting effect of any kind other than annoyance.
posted by EvaDestruction at 1:18 PM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
I loathe sneakers with tailored menswear and/or wearing an untucked shirt with a sports coat/blazer/suit jacket, both of which make a grown man look like a teenager who doesn't know how to dress himself and thinks he's rebelling against conventions he doesn't understand.
Preach! It is so bad most of the time. I hate the sneakers look with it suit. Why? Wear something less formal and you will look good with your shoes. Or don't but this look isn't doing it I promise.
posted by Carillon at 1:50 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
Morrissey's voice makes me want to claw my eardrums out.
Wait until you hear about his personality and racism!
posted by slkinsey at 1:53 PM on June 13, 2023 [15 favorites]
Wait until you hear about his personality and racism!
posted by slkinsey at 1:53 PM on June 13, 2023 [15 favorites]
The "Twilight" movies irritated the hell out of me. Actually I can only claim that I watched about half an hour of the first one before noping right out of that. I should have liked it, as vampires and hot romance are kinda my thing, but no.
Will not ever read the "50 Shades of Gray" books either. No interest in them.
I know I've vented about this book before, "Ahab's Wife", but man, I hated that book. It was the first I ever threw across a room. The protagonist in the tale irritated me and the whole premise of her "life" was so unrealistic (yes, I'm aware it's fiction, but STILL) that I don't know why I tried slogging through it. But never again.
Same with a non-fiction memoir called "The Trail: A True Tale of the Camino" about a young woman's trek across Spain on the Camino Trail historically used by religious pilgrims. Aarrgghhh. She had just the week before split with her male partner, and was determined to "find love and companionship" in the 30 days it took to hike the trail. The obvious ways she tried to weasel into other established groups, and then whine that they didn't want her; the way she dogged after a couple of men she set her sights on; I wanted to shake her shoulders and yell "Get real!". She got all the way to the cathedral at the end only to be disappointed at the cheap certificate she received (if she'd said it was a religious reason it would have been much fancier. But she went with a rather disdainful, though honest, answer that it was just personal). Glad to never read THAT one again, either.
posted by annieb at 2:17 PM on June 13, 2023 [2 favorites]
Will not ever read the "50 Shades of Gray" books either. No interest in them.
I know I've vented about this book before, "Ahab's Wife", but man, I hated that book. It was the first I ever threw across a room. The protagonist in the tale irritated me and the whole premise of her "life" was so unrealistic (yes, I'm aware it's fiction, but STILL) that I don't know why I tried slogging through it. But never again.
Same with a non-fiction memoir called "The Trail: A True Tale of the Camino" about a young woman's trek across Spain on the Camino Trail historically used by religious pilgrims. Aarrgghhh. She had just the week before split with her male partner, and was determined to "find love and companionship" in the 30 days it took to hike the trail. The obvious ways she tried to weasel into other established groups, and then whine that they didn't want her; the way she dogged after a couple of men she set her sights on; I wanted to shake her shoulders and yell "Get real!". She got all the way to the cathedral at the end only to be disappointed at the cheap certificate she received (if she'd said it was a religious reason it would have been much fancier. But she went with a rather disdainful, though honest, answer that it was just personal). Glad to never read THAT one again, either.
posted by annieb at 2:17 PM on June 13, 2023 [2 favorites]
Darren Aronofsky's films. I hate them. Even hearing a few seconds of Lux Aeterna fills me with rage.
Needledrops. They aren't fun. They are lazy at best.
The arrested development of popular media consumption in general. Why is everyone watching and reading glorified content for teens? I'm increasingly sick of people looking at me like I've grown another head for mentioning anything with even the tiniest amount of maturity in it. Even things vaunted for being intelligent or well written are ludicrously shallow or so lacking in confidence in their audience that they beat them over the head with themes.
posted by forbiddencabinet at 2:18 PM on June 13, 2023 [5 favorites]
Needledrops. They aren't fun. They are lazy at best.
The arrested development of popular media consumption in general. Why is everyone watching and reading glorified content for teens? I'm increasingly sick of people looking at me like I've grown another head for mentioning anything with even the tiniest amount of maturity in it. Even things vaunted for being intelligent or well written are ludicrously shallow or so lacking in confidence in their audience that they beat them over the head with themes.
posted by forbiddencabinet at 2:18 PM on June 13, 2023 [5 favorites]
Wait until you hear about his personality and racism!
Oh, believe me, I am very grateful to have dodged liking the art of one awful person out of sheer "ow".
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:18 PM on June 13, 2023
Oh, believe me, I am very grateful to have dodged liking the art of one awful person out of sheer "ow".
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:18 PM on June 13, 2023
I agree about the skinny jeans and those ruffly dresses with the bodice that's six inches from neck to 'waist' and then it's a ruffly knee-length skirt that invites panty shots. I am an apple shaped woman with tits and I will pop out the top, look like I'm 99 months pregnant in those dresses. And I will look like an ice cream cone in skinny jeans. Fluffy top, skinny legs. At least my legs look good, but skintight pants are not that comfortable to get in or out. I have enough trouble as it is to get into my sports bra, don't need a shoe horn for my britches.
Adding to the clothes hate: tshirts with tiny sleeves, synthetic fabrics that pill if you look at them, or are thin or horrors all three AND they are cut to hit at the waist if the person wearing them is not bountiful in the chest or belly. Lucky me, I am blessed in both places. I hate having my shirts ride up when I move. So I buy my shirts in the men's section, for at least I have a great chance of it being long enough and thick enough to wear. Still get those synthetics tho, and they pill like the dickens, and hang onto cat hair and people hair like glue. Urgh. I have so many of those tape rollers and clothes brushes to look tidy and it'll be better if tshirts were actual cotton. And not from a bag in the men's underwear section.
posted by tlwright at 2:32 PM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
Adding to the clothes hate: tshirts with tiny sleeves, synthetic fabrics that pill if you look at them, or are thin or horrors all three AND they are cut to hit at the waist if the person wearing them is not bountiful in the chest or belly. Lucky me, I am blessed in both places. I hate having my shirts ride up when I move. So I buy my shirts in the men's section, for at least I have a great chance of it being long enough and thick enough to wear. Still get those synthetics tho, and they pill like the dickens, and hang onto cat hair and people hair like glue. Urgh. I have so many of those tape rollers and clothes brushes to look tidy and it'll be better if tshirts were actual cotton. And not from a bag in the men's underwear section.
posted by tlwright at 2:32 PM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
I hate the fucking Gilmore Girls. Lorelai is a terrible person, and Rory is ridiculous. All Rory's boyfriends are emotionally abusive, and I feel like an entire generation of women was criminally wronged by the show's insistence that Dean is the best most perfect boyfriend (no, he isn't, he's a violent, controlling asshole). The show is filled with supposed jokes that are just punching down and/or completely offensive. I started a list of inappropriate jokes at one point, but gave up because it is so wildly offensive (one example -- a black character makes a "joke" about the Amistad). The grandparents start out like cardboard, become a little interesting, but then become so wildly unreliable as characters -- at one point spending summers in Europe in fancy hotels, at another complaining about the HOA, at another worrying about the neighborhood watch. I'm sorry, people who live in mansions (legit mansions, not McMansions) don't have HOAs or neighborhood watches. The show is a TOTAL TRASH FIRE.
I also hate when the host at a restaurant says "just one?" when I walk in. No, it is NOT just one -- it is one. I am not a just. Eating alone at a restaurant is not settling for me it is a choice, and it's something I really enjoy. Or at least, I would if the staff didn't feel compelled to make me feel like an afterthought before I've even sat down.
I also ABSOLUTELY LOATH the response "no worries" to a request or an apology. If I say I'm sorry, you can damn well accept my apology -- I don't care if you are being kept up at night about it. If I ask you to move your bag off the seat next to me so that my friend can sit down, I could care less if you are worried about me, the bag or my friend. I hate it so much.
And finally, I hate it when TV shows have doorbell sounds in them. My dog is very good at barking, but not very good at stopping, and I'd really appreciate it if my mindless media didn't trigger him. I try to remember to always mute when I see a character approaching a door, because 9/10 they are going to ring the bell. Gah.
posted by OrangeDisk at 3:06 PM on June 13, 2023 [11 favorites]
I also hate when the host at a restaurant says "just one?" when I walk in. No, it is NOT just one -- it is one. I am not a just. Eating alone at a restaurant is not settling for me it is a choice, and it's something I really enjoy. Or at least, I would if the staff didn't feel compelled to make me feel like an afterthought before I've even sat down.
I also ABSOLUTELY LOATH the response "no worries" to a request or an apology. If I say I'm sorry, you can damn well accept my apology -- I don't care if you are being kept up at night about it. If I ask you to move your bag off the seat next to me so that my friend can sit down, I could care less if you are worried about me, the bag or my friend. I hate it so much.
And finally, I hate it when TV shows have doorbell sounds in them. My dog is very good at barking, but not very good at stopping, and I'd really appreciate it if my mindless media didn't trigger him. I try to remember to always mute when I see a character approaching a door, because 9/10 they are going to ring the bell. Gah.
posted by OrangeDisk at 3:06 PM on June 13, 2023 [11 favorites]
I think my hatreds are vented all over FanFare pretty well... (It's mostly Gravity, scandinoirs, JJ Abrams. Oh and Fincher -- amaze at his ingenious idea of moving the camera to follow something an actor does! Marvel at his fugly colors and shitty lighting!)
Also, okay, and this is not directly media-related, and this is not a counterargument to the thread (I swear), but I really hate when I am trying to bring up some topic or something, to discuss some specific aspect of it or a surprising good thing about it, but then someone has to voice like the snarky dipshit kneejerk opinion about it. Sort of eg JJ Abrams and lens flares, but it applies to almost everything. Just that moment of like UGH and REVULSION at having to deal at someone whose contribution to the conversation is like a wet fart sound accompanied with a smug superior look on their face. Some people pride themselves on a storehouse of kneejerk dismissive rejoinders! Some people's tastes are nothing more than a pile of these group consensuses, painstakingly curated!! And I swear, it should be OK at parties, to smash a cup on these peoples' faces. You're not smart and cool you're a boilerplate hater, a turd-hearted close-minded worm. And fuck me for walking right into this idiotic moment without putting out a neon disclaimer to satisfy the drooling dipshits.
Do these feelings stop me from sometimes being the smug dismissivizer? No not at all! I do it too!! Yeah fuck me but also, fuck those lens flares, they should be brought up and mocked every single time!!!!!
But the Beach Boys? Oh my fucking god, I hate the Beach Boys.
How could you denigrate the lyrical master class of "I Get Around"?
posted by fleacircus at 3:22 PM on June 13, 2023 [2 favorites]
Also, okay, and this is not directly media-related, and this is not a counterargument to the thread (I swear), but I really hate when I am trying to bring up some topic or something, to discuss some specific aspect of it or a surprising good thing about it, but then someone has to voice like the snarky dipshit kneejerk opinion about it. Sort of eg JJ Abrams and lens flares, but it applies to almost everything. Just that moment of like UGH and REVULSION at having to deal at someone whose contribution to the conversation is like a wet fart sound accompanied with a smug superior look on their face. Some people pride themselves on a storehouse of kneejerk dismissive rejoinders! Some people's tastes are nothing more than a pile of these group consensuses, painstakingly curated!! And I swear, it should be OK at parties, to smash a cup on these peoples' faces. You're not smart and cool you're a boilerplate hater, a turd-hearted close-minded worm. And fuck me for walking right into this idiotic moment without putting out a neon disclaimer to satisfy the drooling dipshits.
Do these feelings stop me from sometimes being the smug dismissivizer? No not at all! I do it too!! Yeah fuck me but also, fuck those lens flares, they should be brought up and mocked every single time!!!!!
But the Beach Boys? Oh my fucking god, I hate the Beach Boys.
How could you denigrate the lyrical master class of "I Get Around"?
posted by fleacircus at 3:22 PM on June 13, 2023 [2 favorites]
Do you say you have to go tinkle? Grow up. I don't care, please for the love of god act better than that. Ugh it sets my teeth on edge when grown adults throw that around.
One of my exes said "potty." All the time. I wanted to say, "You're 23, dude."
I had an ex who used to say he was going to "din-din" at his sister's. He was 40. It drove me up the wall.
posted by annieb at 3:59 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
One of my exes said "potty." All the time. I wanted to say, "You're 23, dude."
I had an ex who used to say he was going to "din-din" at his sister's. He was 40. It drove me up the wall.
posted by annieb at 3:59 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
How could you denigrate the lyrical master class of "I Get Around"?
Another thing I roll my eyes at: people who listen to music for the lyrics. Zzzzzzzz.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:15 PM on June 13, 2023
Another thing I roll my eyes at: people who listen to music for the lyrics. Zzzzzzzz.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:15 PM on June 13, 2023
I don't understand why anyone would be invested in the performance of a sports team, other than maybe if it's the team of the place where you live, and you feel like it's your mascot. >
Sports aren't my passion, but I can get why people don't just enjoy it but get kind of fanatical. However, I really, really don't understand people who are big into college teams from a school they didn't attend. Being a fanatic for your alma mater? That makes sense to me, even if it is a bit silly. But being a rabid fan for a school no one in your family ever visited, much less graduated from? That just seems weird to me.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:34 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
Sports aren't my passion, but I can get why people don't just enjoy it but get kind of fanatical. However, I really, really don't understand people who are big into college teams from a school they didn't attend. Being a fanatic for your alma mater? That makes sense to me, even if it is a bit silly. But being a rabid fan for a school no one in your family ever visited, much less graduated from? That just seems weird to me.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:34 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
I have ranted in the past about William Manchester’s dismal attempt at medieval history, A World Lit Only By Fire. It is goddamn terrible, not even good enough to be bad pop history, and only loved by people just learning that early Popes were up to some crazy shit. I abandoned it on an airplane.
I had a coworker who instead of excusing herself to go to the bathroom, would say she had to go use the litter box. Internally I was always screaming.
posted by PussKillian at 4:34 PM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
I had a coworker who instead of excusing herself to go to the bathroom, would say she had to go use the litter box. Internally I was always screaming.
posted by PussKillian at 4:34 PM on June 13, 2023 [4 favorites]
I had a coworker who instead of excusing herself to go to the bathroom, would say she had to go use the litter box.
OH MY GOD.
Agree hard about "no worries" substituted for "you're welcome." I wasn't worried, dicko! I was appreciative of whatever it was you did, and now I am annoyed.
posted by fingersandtoes at 4:58 PM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
OH MY GOD.
Agree hard about "no worries" substituted for "you're welcome." I wasn't worried, dicko! I was appreciative of whatever it was you did, and now I am annoyed.
posted by fingersandtoes at 4:58 PM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
I remember a Metafilter discussion maybe a few months ago about responses like "you're welcome" and "no worries" and so on. For every preferred response, there were always one or more people who couldn't stand it (yes, including "you're welcome"). As best I could tell from that discussion, you're going to piss someone off no matter what you say, so go ahead and be yourself, no worries! Let the haters fume on top of their minuscule molehills.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:32 PM on June 13, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:32 PM on June 13, 2023 [10 favorites]
One of my exes said "potty." All the time. I wanted to say, "You're 23, dude."
I had an ex who used to say he was going to "din-din" at his sister's. He was 40. It drove me up the wall.
I have the same reaction whenever I see on a menu - or hear someone say - the word "sando". THE WORD IS SANDWICH. YOU'RE AN ADULT PERSON. TALK LIKE ONE.
posted by pdb at 8:58 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
I had an ex who used to say he was going to "din-din" at his sister's. He was 40. It drove me up the wall.
I have the same reaction whenever I see on a menu - or hear someone say - the word "sando". THE WORD IS SANDWICH. YOU'RE AN ADULT PERSON. TALK LIKE ONE.
posted by pdb at 8:58 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
Another thing I roll my eyes at: people who listen to music for the lyrics. Zzzzzzzz.
posted by uncleozzy
Well, there goes the entire oeuvre of Bob Dylan.
posted by Termite at 9:03 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by uncleozzy
Well, there goes the entire oeuvre of Bob Dylan.
posted by Termite at 9:03 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
Something that makes me irrationally irate is that just about every ‘average woman’ character we see in a TV show, movie, news programme, cooking show or whatever, is a woman getting up too fucking early in the morning to pump, box, spin, etc or do umpteen hours of serious, professional athlete level training programmes. I can’t not see it now - that to be in front of a camera that woman has to do hours of extra labour, have no social life with food, wine, idleness.
Why? Why does a ‘girl next door’ character need to be shredded?
posted by honey-barbara at 9:06 PM on June 13, 2023 [9 favorites]
Why? Why does a ‘girl next door’ character need to be shredded?
posted by honey-barbara at 9:06 PM on June 13, 2023 [9 favorites]
My personal bugbear: ANDOR.
Oh that reminds me! ROGUE ONE. Goddamn Rogue One. That movie did exactly zero things to make me care about any of its characters. Everyone I know who likes Star Wars thought it was great. It's like we saw different movies entirely. (Hot Take Aside: The Last Jedi is the only good and original SW movie to come out in my lifetime. The Force Awakens was fine, but not original. Rogue One was original, but not good. The Rise of Skywalker was neither good nor original. And the prequels were the prequels.)
posted by egregious theorem at 9:30 PM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
Oh that reminds me! ROGUE ONE. Goddamn Rogue One. That movie did exactly zero things to make me care about any of its characters. Everyone I know who likes Star Wars thought it was great. It's like we saw different movies entirely. (Hot Take Aside: The Last Jedi is the only good and original SW movie to come out in my lifetime. The Force Awakens was fine, but not original. Rogue One was original, but not good. The Rise of Skywalker was neither good nor original. And the prequels were the prequels.)
posted by egregious theorem at 9:30 PM on June 13, 2023 [3 favorites]
Oh lord, the last thing I want is to get into an argument about a franchise I've only ever peripherally cared about from the start. But casually dismissing the original 3 movies is kind of a bizarre take.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:39 PM on June 13, 2023
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:39 PM on June 13, 2023
(they could have been born post 1983)
posted by Carillon at 9:46 PM on June 13, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Carillon at 9:46 PM on June 13, 2023 [2 favorites]
I have the same reaction whenever I see on a menu - or hear someone say - the word "sando". THE WORD IS SANDWICH. YOU'RE AN ADULT PERSON. TALK LIKE ONE.
Tbf, is this supposed to be childish, or just Japanifying the food (à la katsu sando, tamago sando, etc.) to make it sound more hip?* (Or both—an originally Japanified term that is now used by people who associate it with childish speech? Language works in mysterious ways!) Not that that makes it better—but why not turn your irrational hatred of the word into a totally rational hatred?
* or, more charitably, to pay homage to some way in which the sandwich in question is specifically influenced by Japanese sandwich culture?
---
Anyways, one super petty rant I've gone off on recently is about the ending to Legally Blonde, which I should say at the outset is otherwise a really good movie! But the closing narration reveals that, at the time of her graduation from law school, Elle and Emmett had been dating for around two years... meaning since the end of her 1L. But Emmett had supervised Elle during her 1L in a professional capacity, which means the two started going out pretty much immediately after they were no longer in a supervisory relationship.
Now, I'm aware that this isn't a professional ethical breach or anything, but it does seem morally dubious in a more general sense! I could never imagine doing similar things with a student I was supervising so soon after our academic (or professional) relationship ended. Alas, try as I might, I can't convince the rest of my family that this is kind of gross, though I do have at least one current law-student friend who has signed on to my reading of the situation.
(Plus, more broadly, that entire romance subplot felt tacked on to begin with—Elle was absolutely right to get over Warner, but it's not like she had to fill the resulting man-shaped hole in her life over the course of the film! I'm not a fan of romance books or movies to begin with, and it's relatively easy to avoid those genres, but I hate how injecting a little romance into the plot seems necessary for fiction in general... but that's a rant for another time.)
posted by the tartare yolk at 10:00 PM on June 13, 2023 [2 favorites]
Tbf, is this supposed to be childish, or just Japanifying the food (à la katsu sando, tamago sando, etc.) to make it sound more hip?* (Or both—an originally Japanified term that is now used by people who associate it with childish speech? Language works in mysterious ways!) Not that that makes it better—but why not turn your irrational hatred of the word into a totally rational hatred?
* or, more charitably, to pay homage to some way in which the sandwich in question is specifically influenced by Japanese sandwich culture?
---
Anyways, one super petty rant I've gone off on recently is about the ending to Legally Blonde, which I should say at the outset is otherwise a really good movie! But the closing narration reveals that, at the time of her graduation from law school, Elle and Emmett had been dating for around two years... meaning since the end of her 1L. But Emmett had supervised Elle during her 1L in a professional capacity, which means the two started going out pretty much immediately after they were no longer in a supervisory relationship.
Now, I'm aware that this isn't a professional ethical breach or anything, but it does seem morally dubious in a more general sense! I could never imagine doing similar things with a student I was supervising so soon after our academic (or professional) relationship ended. Alas, try as I might, I can't convince the rest of my family that this is kind of gross, though I do have at least one current law-student friend who has signed on to my reading of the situation.
(Plus, more broadly, that entire romance subplot felt tacked on to begin with—Elle was absolutely right to get over Warner, but it's not like she had to fill the resulting man-shaped hole in her life over the course of the film! I'm not a fan of romance books or movies to begin with, and it's relatively easy to avoid those genres, but I hate how injecting a little romance into the plot seems necessary for fiction in general... but that's a rant for another time.)
posted by the tartare yolk at 10:00 PM on June 13, 2023 [2 favorites]
It used to be the 1939 movie version of The Wizard of Oz. Now that I've made my peace with that, it's the Star Wars TV series. (The first season of The Mandalorian was OK, but the rest is, as Grandma used to say, tripe. Every aspect of them actively cheapens the films they're spun off from.)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:11 PM on June 13, 2023
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:11 PM on June 13, 2023
Goddamn Rogue One. That movie did exactly zero things to make me care about any of its characters. Everyone I know who likes Star Wars thought it was great. It's like we saw different movies entirely.
I KNOW, RIGHT? Not only dull, but completely pointless. Two long hours of "so, what?"
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:16 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
I KNOW, RIGHT? Not only dull, but completely pointless. Two long hours of "so, what?"
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:16 PM on June 13, 2023 [1 favorite]
Everyone knows the proper diminutive of sandwich is 'sarnie'.
posted by biffa at 11:22 PM on June 13, 2023
posted by biffa at 11:22 PM on June 13, 2023
Oh, boy!
Star Wars. (The one that Wikipedia informs me has been retroactively titled Star Wars: Episode IV -- A New Hope.)
Saw it in a theater when it came out in 1977, solely because it had just opened and going to the new movie in town was the thing to do if I wanted to have anything to talk about with my friends. I did not (and do not) get it. I fell asleep.
I have enough trust in the cinematic judgment of 12-year-old me that I have yet to see another flick in the space opera genre.
posted by virago at 1:30 AM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
Star Wars. (The one that Wikipedia informs me has been retroactively titled Star Wars: Episode IV -- A New Hope.)
Saw it in a theater when it came out in 1977, solely because it had just opened and going to the new movie in town was the thing to do if I wanted to have anything to talk about with my friends. I did not (and do not) get it. I fell asleep.
I have enough trust in the cinematic judgment of 12-year-old me that I have yet to see another flick in the space opera genre.
posted by virago at 1:30 AM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
People who hate "no worries": never visit Australia. If you hate "sando" you're ok though; those are sangers (pronounced sangahs).
posted by Athanassiel at 2:25 AM on June 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Athanassiel at 2:25 AM on June 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
And one more hate so as not to abuse the edit window: headlights, especially the more modern the vehicle, which have become blinding, dazzling weapons that stab me through the eyes directly into my brain straight at the buttons that say "MIGRAINE!!!". Older cars with softer, yellower headlights are not as bad. And yes I love my night driving glasses. Still hate the headlights though.
posted by Athanassiel at 2:29 AM on June 14, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by Athanassiel at 2:29 AM on June 14, 2023 [11 favorites]
"Woodstock." Yes, the 1970 documentary.
Starts strong with the epic Richie Havens performance, but quickly devolves into hippie porn--an execrable voyeuristic cringefest for a conservative audience.
"See the hippie with the floppy hat. Here's one seated on a car. Over there! Hippies in mud. More hippies--this time, skinny dipping. Another nekked hippie. She's dancing. Here's one under the influence of d.r.u.g.s"
The bullshit culminates with an interview of a kiosk owner. So, you're a vendor, huh? You sell stuff? To people? As this is going on, Jefferson Airplane is playing "White Rabbit" in the background.
Do we get to see this legendary performance? Nope. Not a nanosecond of it. It's lost to history. Never to be recovered.
We are treated to endless, synapse-destroying footage of the 1950s gimmick group Sha Na Na, however.
posted by Gordion Knott at 3:27 AM on June 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
Starts strong with the epic Richie Havens performance, but quickly devolves into hippie porn--an execrable voyeuristic cringefest for a conservative audience.
"See the hippie with the floppy hat. Here's one seated on a car. Over there! Hippies in mud. More hippies--this time, skinny dipping. Another nekked hippie. She's dancing. Here's one under the influence of d.r.u.g.s"
The bullshit culminates with an interview of a kiosk owner. So, you're a vendor, huh? You sell stuff? To people? As this is going on, Jefferson Airplane is playing "White Rabbit" in the background.
Do we get to see this legendary performance? Nope. Not a nanosecond of it. It's lost to history. Never to be recovered.
We are treated to endless, synapse-destroying footage of the 1950s gimmick group Sha Na Na, however.
posted by Gordion Knott at 3:27 AM on June 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
Speaking of sandwich diminutives, the word "sammich" drives my bonkers. I literally have to repress a physical cringe when I hear it. Luckily, only one restaurant that we frequent around uses it.
posted by mollweide at 3:36 AM on June 14, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by mollweide at 3:36 AM on June 14, 2023 [11 favorites]
I'd never heard the term 'sando' until this thread; I was assuming the same pattern is being used as the substitution of 'rando' for random.
posted by Rash at 6:11 AM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Rash at 6:11 AM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
I hate all cutesy terms on menus. One of my favorite restaurants has two taco salads, and the one I order is called the Shauna Wanna or something like that. I have to say it out loud to order. I tried saying "taco salad" once but it caused too much confusion.
Also, when they call hamburgers and sandwiches "handhelds."
posted by tofu_crouton at 6:23 AM on June 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
Also, when they call hamburgers and sandwiches "handhelds."
posted by tofu_crouton at 6:23 AM on June 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
Okay, I am not a fan of the Cheesecake Factory. But some people in my family like it, so I sometimes have to take one for the team and eat at a Cheesecake Factory. But what I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate about the Cheesecake Factory, is that they have a special little menu insert for people who want to eat something that doesn't contain enough calories and carbs to feed a family of four for a week. I don't mind that! I need that! BUT in order to order from that special little menu insert, I have to say the word "Skinnylicious." As in "I'd like the Skinnylicious Chicken Tacos please" or whatever. Sometimes I try to just gesture at the menu and say to the waiter, "Oh, I'll have this one, please" but then they just say, "Oh, you mean the SKINNYLICIOUS Chicken Tacos." Yes, the SKINNYLICIOUS ones. Because it's not enough to be on a stupid diet, I also have to sound like a stupid dork to order my food.
posted by Daily Alice at 6:47 AM on June 14, 2023 [14 favorites]
posted by Daily Alice at 6:47 AM on June 14, 2023 [14 favorites]
ROGUE ONE. Goddamn Rogue One.
I never knew I could loathe a piece of media so thoroughly and completely as this astonishingly awful shit storm of a film. It's just objectively terrible and it's only useful metric is as a demonstration of all that is wrong with humanity.
Yes, I'm in therapy.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 6:49 AM on June 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
I never knew I could loathe a piece of media so thoroughly and completely as this astonishingly awful shit storm of a film. It's just objectively terrible and it's only useful metric is as a demonstration of all that is wrong with humanity.
Yes, I'm in therapy.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 6:49 AM on June 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
Man, I just thought Rogue One was boring and my mom kept asking me what was going on and I had no idea. Zoned out during the first episode of Andor too.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:27 AM on June 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:27 AM on June 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
I'm not a big horror movie/TV fan but I watch and enjoy some. The thing that always takes me right out of it is when the creepy monster (or person, animal, kid, whatever) tips their head slowly to one side and then the other. This is often joined by bone cracking noises. I feel like it's supposed to increase the creepy level of the character but it's just so stupid. This also sometimes comes up right before someone is going to be in a fight. WHY. I understand actual stretching before a fight or physical activity. I do it myself, but it doesn't look like that and if it did it wouldn't do much to help. I'm instantly much less afraid of the goofball who is doing that thing that they probably first saw in every other horror movie so they figured they'd give it a try. Season 4 of Stranger Things was pretty great but every time Vecna was on screen he did the head tilt a few times and it just made him feel like a silly joke to me. I don't understand how media where the actors, writers, directors, etc. all seem to be very good at their jobs keep including this trope. It's just so stupid.
Less of a white hot hate, more of a large annoyance: the construction "not to ... but." First off, I don't get it. Sometimes it's used by people who are very much doing the thing they are saying "not to" about and other times they are not doing the thing. Are you saying you want to do the thing, but you're not? Are you pointing out that you're not doing a thing? Why? When should I use it? Not to eat more sausage than I should, but I'm going to mail some letters now. That makes as much sense to me as any other use. I see it all the time here with "Not to abuse the edit window but..." I'm sure there's some good reason for that since it's so common, but every time I think: You're not abusing the edit window! We can see that already! Why are you telling us? Just say the thing you came to say!
This thread is very fun and a great idea. Thanks for posting it and thanks to all for keeping with the theme and not arguing back.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 7:32 AM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
Less of a white hot hate, more of a large annoyance: the construction "not to ... but." First off, I don't get it. Sometimes it's used by people who are very much doing the thing they are saying "not to" about and other times they are not doing the thing. Are you saying you want to do the thing, but you're not? Are you pointing out that you're not doing a thing? Why? When should I use it? Not to eat more sausage than I should, but I'm going to mail some letters now. That makes as much sense to me as any other use. I see it all the time here with "Not to abuse the edit window but..." I'm sure there's some good reason for that since it's so common, but every time I think: You're not abusing the edit window! We can see that already! Why are you telling us? Just say the thing you came to say!
This thread is very fun and a great idea. Thanks for posting it and thanks to all for keeping with the theme and not arguing back.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 7:32 AM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
The "not to do x" thing bothers me too, but in recent years I have tried to remind myself that the people doing it are probably self-conscious about the things they ARE doing (like posting twice in a row, sometimes thought to be a mild faux pas).
posted by Night_owl at 7:41 AM on June 14, 2023
posted by Night_owl at 7:41 AM on June 14, 2023
I feel bad that I shot my wad on "Harry Potter fandom" when I hate so many more unreasonable probably-lovely things that I am nonetheless correct to despise. So, without further ado:
— Bo Burnham drives me up the fucking wall. It is absolutely because he and I have identical musical and comedic influences, but everything he's ever made feels, to me, like he's trying to pass a test proving that he can do successful pastiches of funnier comedians, wittier songwriters, and more heartfelt performers. It's not his fault that so many of his fans are irritating dipshits, but he lost me in 2008 and I resent every time he makes the news.
— Moulin Rouge utterly infuriates me. Again, I'm willing to concede that it's because I went to school with a bunch of musical theatre people who could barely form coherent sentences and had never watched another movie, but wow, I could go my life without hearing another person earnestly convince me that it's worth investing in, that it'll give me an emotional experience unlike anything any other work of art could ever give me. Horsepuckey!!!!
— It's probably just that I'm slightly too young to appreciate whatever impact the Strokes had on pre-Strokes music, but I find their music entirely forgettable and Julian Casablancas thoroughly uncompelling. Were people just sick of music having discernible melodies? Was 90s music just that good? [/troll]
And I'm gonna hop on the Rogue One hate with a personal anecdote:
Despite being an impassioned, opinionated person, I feel extremely guilty whenever I dislike something that a person in my life likes. I've made lots of effort to give things a try in the hopes that they'll "click" with me, and also made the youthful mistake of keeping a lot of insecure friends who couldn't help but lash out when I disliked faves of theirs, no matter how politely I tried to keep my dislike to myself.
Which is how I found myself discussing Rogue One with my therapist, about a month after a pretty bad break-up. The ex had had a chip on her shoulder about our different tastes in media: anything I tried to share with her struck her as offensive on one level (in that she found reasons to claim that the things I liked were objectively immoral or despicable or low-quality), and anything she shared with me that didn't become an Instant Classic was proof that I looked down on her, held her in contempt, and furthermore despised all Texans, in my elitist Northeastern way. I didn't exactly have "self-esteem" at this point, and found it hard not to take all the accusations she lobbed at me as hard, cold truth, which left me feeling anxious and awful pretty much all the time.
Rogue One had been a particular sticking point. I had been pretty up-front that I was not interested in Star Wars as a franchise: I like the original trilogy and that's about it. Furthermore, after some really shitty experiences with Marvel-fandom college friends and Disney superfans, I was pretty miserable about Disney's whole movie-franchise approach to film, which extended to their new Star Wars roadmap. So when she decided to revolve our whole visit to her aunt in DC around Rogue One—literally planning the entire trip around a big theater Rogue One experience—it led to a pretty uncomfortable weekend, in which some playful pre- and post-movie bickering with her chill, good-humored aunt led to a damp pall, the kind of fight that largely consists of a refusal to own up to the fact that a fight was in fact taking place.
I was laying all this out with the therapist, because I was trying to figure out ways that I could have been more supportive of my ex. How I could work around my own tastes and preferences and just, you know, leave her feeling supported and appreciated. And the therapist, who I guess was picking up on the fact that maybe I wasn't the (only) unreasonable person in that dynamic, cut me off mid-spiral.
"It sounds like your real problem," he said, "is that you need to date people who like better things."
Maybe that was some bullshit line, maybe he was just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. But it felt cathartic to me, and much-needed at the time. I was allowed to have opinions. And I cared this much, I was allowed to try and make friends and date people for whom my opinions weren't a mark of Cain.
Now I am a healthy and happy adult who loves freely and openly, my ex works in marketing for a bullshit cryptocurrency that never even took off, and Rogue One is still what people with shitty taste in movies think of as a good film. 💁🏻♂️
posted by Tom Hanks Cannot Be Trusted at 7:45 AM on June 14, 2023 [7 favorites]
— Bo Burnham drives me up the fucking wall. It is absolutely because he and I have identical musical and comedic influences, but everything he's ever made feels, to me, like he's trying to pass a test proving that he can do successful pastiches of funnier comedians, wittier songwriters, and more heartfelt performers. It's not his fault that so many of his fans are irritating dipshits, but he lost me in 2008 and I resent every time he makes the news.
— Moulin Rouge utterly infuriates me. Again, I'm willing to concede that it's because I went to school with a bunch of musical theatre people who could barely form coherent sentences and had never watched another movie, but wow, I could go my life without hearing another person earnestly convince me that it's worth investing in, that it'll give me an emotional experience unlike anything any other work of art could ever give me. Horsepuckey!!!!
— It's probably just that I'm slightly too young to appreciate whatever impact the Strokes had on pre-Strokes music, but I find their music entirely forgettable and Julian Casablancas thoroughly uncompelling. Were people just sick of music having discernible melodies? Was 90s music just that good? [/troll]
And I'm gonna hop on the Rogue One hate with a personal anecdote:
Despite being an impassioned, opinionated person, I feel extremely guilty whenever I dislike something that a person in my life likes. I've made lots of effort to give things a try in the hopes that they'll "click" with me, and also made the youthful mistake of keeping a lot of insecure friends who couldn't help but lash out when I disliked faves of theirs, no matter how politely I tried to keep my dislike to myself.
Which is how I found myself discussing Rogue One with my therapist, about a month after a pretty bad break-up. The ex had had a chip on her shoulder about our different tastes in media: anything I tried to share with her struck her as offensive on one level (in that she found reasons to claim that the things I liked were objectively immoral or despicable or low-quality), and anything she shared with me that didn't become an Instant Classic was proof that I looked down on her, held her in contempt, and furthermore despised all Texans, in my elitist Northeastern way. I didn't exactly have "self-esteem" at this point, and found it hard not to take all the accusations she lobbed at me as hard, cold truth, which left me feeling anxious and awful pretty much all the time.
Rogue One had been a particular sticking point. I had been pretty up-front that I was not interested in Star Wars as a franchise: I like the original trilogy and that's about it. Furthermore, after some really shitty experiences with Marvel-fandom college friends and Disney superfans, I was pretty miserable about Disney's whole movie-franchise approach to film, which extended to their new Star Wars roadmap. So when she decided to revolve our whole visit to her aunt in DC around Rogue One—literally planning the entire trip around a big theater Rogue One experience—it led to a pretty uncomfortable weekend, in which some playful pre- and post-movie bickering with her chill, good-humored aunt led to a damp pall, the kind of fight that largely consists of a refusal to own up to the fact that a fight was in fact taking place.
I was laying all this out with the therapist, because I was trying to figure out ways that I could have been more supportive of my ex. How I could work around my own tastes and preferences and just, you know, leave her feeling supported and appreciated. And the therapist, who I guess was picking up on the fact that maybe I wasn't the (only) unreasonable person in that dynamic, cut me off mid-spiral.
"It sounds like your real problem," he said, "is that you need to date people who like better things."
Maybe that was some bullshit line, maybe he was just telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. But it felt cathartic to me, and much-needed at the time. I was allowed to have opinions. And I cared this much, I was allowed to try and make friends and date people for whom my opinions weren't a mark of Cain.
Now I am a healthy and happy adult who loves freely and openly, my ex works in marketing for a bullshit cryptocurrency that never even took off, and Rogue One is still what people with shitty taste in movies think of as a good film. 💁🏻♂️
posted by Tom Hanks Cannot Be Trusted at 7:45 AM on June 14, 2023 [7 favorites]
Less of a white hot hate, more of a large annoyance: the construction "not to ... but." First off, I don't get it. Sometimes it's used by people who are very much doing the thing they are saying "not to" about and other times they are not doing the thing. Are you saying you want to do the thing, but you're not? Are you pointing out that you're not doing a thing? Why? When should I use it? Not to eat more sausage than I should, but I'm going to mail some letters now. That makes as much sense to me as any other use. I see it all the time here with "Not to abuse the edit window but..." I'm sure there's some good reason for that since it's so common, but every time I think: You're not abusing the edit window! We can see that already! Why are you telling us? Just say the thing you came to say!
I've come to kind of enjoy spotting that construction, because of how it allows people to completely invert the meaning mid-sentence, sometimes in complex ways. The most common construction is probably "I don't mean to be insulting, but..." where the first half of the sentence is diametrically converted in meaning by the ",but..." portion. You see it with politicians a lot also: "I'm not advocating for violence, but..." then they lay out a hinted call for violence, say.
I'm with you on finding it annoying (especially when said directly to me), but people use it in such interesting ways that I can't actually hate it.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:56 AM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
I've come to kind of enjoy spotting that construction, because of how it allows people to completely invert the meaning mid-sentence, sometimes in complex ways. The most common construction is probably "I don't mean to be insulting, but..." where the first half of the sentence is diametrically converted in meaning by the ",but..." portion. You see it with politicians a lot also: "I'm not advocating for violence, but..." then they lay out a hinted call for violence, say.
I'm with you on finding it annoying (especially when said directly to me), but people use it in such interesting ways that I can't actually hate it.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:56 AM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
I do feel bad about hating something someone loves, or vice versa, but I try to look at it as what the logic behind it is. I get that people like coffee for the caffeine even if I don't get liking it for taste. Like an old roommate of mine had good reasons for disliking Angel (the show/vampire) and I was all, okay, I can see why you do that, I get it, and respect the difference. But it's when someone else insists that you have to like something that we all get annoyed about. Like another roommate of mine insisting I had to like mint toothpaste because that's all that exists. Welp, there are several flavors of non-mint out there (thanks, Tom's of Maine and that watermelon flavor stuff I found at Target), and I even found chocolate toothpaste at a dollar store once, so nyah to that.
Hm, this is too positive of a post, I need to change that. I would like to say that I HATE being told, "Good morning!" at work. I know they are trying to be nice and friendly, and they genuinely wish I would have a good morning, but I never have good mornings here and I wish to hell I could ask them to stop, but they've also written me up because I don't say "Good morning!"
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:17 AM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
Hm, this is too positive of a post, I need to change that. I would like to say that I HATE being told, "Good morning!" at work. I know they are trying to be nice and friendly, and they genuinely wish I would have a good morning, but I never have good mornings here and I wish to hell I could ask them to stop, but they've also written me up because I don't say "Good morning!"
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:17 AM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
But casually dismissing the original 3 movies is kind of a bizarre take.
Sorry, probably should have clarified the point about movies that came out "in my lifetime," which excludes the original 3!
posted by egregious theorem at 8:19 AM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
Sorry, probably should have clarified the point about movies that came out "in my lifetime," which excludes the original 3!
posted by egregious theorem at 8:19 AM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
I just want to register my agreement with y'all about Picard Season 3, Big Bang Theory, authors making characters act out of character, Andrew Lloyd Weber, the Netflix Persuasion adaptation, Christmas music, The Big Lebowski, Twitter, Wicked, Rivers of London, influential rich idiots, the term "fur babies", Harry Potter fandom, Life of Pi, mowing the lawn, the Matrix movies, the Twilight movies, and Moulin Rouge (and some of the things I haven't mentioned are because I avoided them entirely since they sounded terrible.)
You are not alone.
posted by kyrademon at 8:30 AM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
You are not alone.
posted by kyrademon at 8:30 AM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
I fell asleep.
I have enough trust in the cinematic judgment of 12-year-old me that I have yet to see another flick in the space opera genre.
I was eighteen when I saw Star Wars (the first, the original, the one they called STAR WARS on all the posters and on the actual movie screen at the beginning, so don't go f***ing correcting me when I just call it STAR WARS). Though I didn't fall asleep, I was somewhat bemused. It was opening day in my particular town but it had nevertheless arrived with a huge wallop of hype ... and it ...
just
wasn't
that
good.
It was okay, I guess. The kind of the thing that if I'd stumbled into it, not knowing anything about it, I probably would've found charming. But overall, nah. Kid's stuff. And when you're eighteen, that's the last thing you're interested in.
Which remains my take on the whole franchise. I think if you were born early enough to not first experience it as a child (say, ten or younger), you missed your chance. It's doomed to meh-ness, its continued presence in the zeitgeist evidence of an overall infantilizm of the culture. It embarrasses me to be stuck in that culture.
So there's a HATE. Adults who can't shut up about the greatness of Star Wars (any of it). Trust me from the perspective of having no particular horse in the race -- it just isn't that good ... with the possible exception of Empire Strikes Back, which if the whole series had that level of narrative drive and overall zooom, I'd at least bother to pay attention when the subject comes up.
posted by philip-random at 8:33 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
I have enough trust in the cinematic judgment of 12-year-old me that I have yet to see another flick in the space opera genre.
I was eighteen when I saw Star Wars (the first, the original, the one they called STAR WARS on all the posters and on the actual movie screen at the beginning, so don't go f***ing correcting me when I just call it STAR WARS). Though I didn't fall asleep, I was somewhat bemused. It was opening day in my particular town but it had nevertheless arrived with a huge wallop of hype ... and it ...
just
wasn't
that
good.
It was okay, I guess. The kind of the thing that if I'd stumbled into it, not knowing anything about it, I probably would've found charming. But overall, nah. Kid's stuff. And when you're eighteen, that's the last thing you're interested in.
Which remains my take on the whole franchise. I think if you were born early enough to not first experience it as a child (say, ten or younger), you missed your chance. It's doomed to meh-ness, its continued presence in the zeitgeist evidence of an overall infantilizm of the culture. It embarrasses me to be stuck in that culture.
So there's a HATE. Adults who can't shut up about the greatness of Star Wars (any of it). Trust me from the perspective of having no particular horse in the race -- it just isn't that good ... with the possible exception of Empire Strikes Back, which if the whole series had that level of narrative drive and overall zooom, I'd at least bother to pay attention when the subject comes up.
posted by philip-random at 8:33 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
Sorry, probably should have clarified the point about movies that came out "in my lifetime," which excludes the original 3!
Also, young people.
posted by biffa at 8:36 AM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
Also, young people.
posted by biffa at 8:36 AM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
I would like to say that I HATE being told, "Good morning!" at work. I
Yeah, why bring "good" into it when a mere "morning" suffices?
Or as it used to go with a guy a shared a too small office with. "Morning," he'd say. "Can't argue with that," I'd say.
posted by philip-random at 8:39 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
Yeah, why bring "good" into it when a mere "morning" suffices?
Or as it used to go with a guy a shared a too small office with. "Morning," he'd say. "Can't argue with that," I'd say.
posted by philip-random at 8:39 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
I hate it when I'm enthusing about something and someone (usually a het-cis white dude) shits all over it. Like, have your opinion, that's great, that's fine. But do not rant about how much you hate, nay LOATHE THE MERE IDEA OF EXISTENCE OF, something that I'm happily conversing about.
It was understandable when you did at age 12. Your prefrontal cortex wasn't quite developed and you didn't have the life experience to know that doing shit like that is Not Cool. But now that you're 35 or whatever, stop it. Just fucking stop it.
(obv this particular hate of mine does not apply to this thread, thank you very much)
posted by cooker girl at 8:40 AM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
It was understandable when you did at age 12. Your prefrontal cortex wasn't quite developed and you didn't have the life experience to know that doing shit like that is Not Cool. But now that you're 35 or whatever, stop it. Just fucking stop it.
(obv this particular hate of mine does not apply to this thread, thank you very much)
posted by cooker girl at 8:40 AM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
I would like to say that I HATE being told, "Good morning!" at work.
"Have a nice/good day"
Is that an order or command? A wish? A shortened version of "I hope you have a nice/good day"? If I don't have a nice or good day, is it my fault, or the fault of the person who said it? What's wrong with the shorter, less ambiguous "Goodbye"?
posted by Wordshore at 9:09 AM on June 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
"Have a nice/good day"
Is that an order or command? A wish? A shortened version of "I hope you have a nice/good day"? If I don't have a nice or good day, is it my fault, or the fault of the person who said it? What's wrong with the shorter, less ambiguous "Goodbye"?
posted by Wordshore at 9:09 AM on June 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
I'm a Gen Xer who was deep, deep into the well of defining myself largely via the things I hated. I hated all of the right stuff! And I was so marvelously, acidic and withering about it!
At this point, I feel like I'm in recovery for that, and I don't take a ton of joy out of hating things anymore. I like hearing about what people like in unironic tones.
But I don't want to yuck the yum of yucking other people's yums either. Gawd knows, I spent enough time doing that.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:21 AM on June 14, 2023 [10 favorites]
At this point, I feel like I'm in recovery for that, and I don't take a ton of joy out of hating things anymore. I like hearing about what people like in unironic tones.
But I don't want to yuck the yum of yucking other people's yums either. Gawd knows, I spent enough time doing that.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:21 AM on June 14, 2023 [10 favorites]
I hate the use of the word "pimp" to mean make something flashy or better looking.
YES to hating the term "furbaby" (it's creepy) and hating "No problem" as a response to "Thank you".
And I know it is a common term in non-U.S. English-speaking countries, but "gobsmacked" just sounds like getting whacked in the forehead with a giant booger. Like getting pooped on by a bird.
(I've seen the word more often lately in the U.S.)
And I hate "It's a Wonderful Life."
posted by jgirl at 9:37 AM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
YES to hating the term "furbaby" (it's creepy) and hating "No problem" as a response to "Thank you".
And I know it is a common term in non-U.S. English-speaking countries, but "gobsmacked" just sounds like getting whacked in the forehead with a giant booger. Like getting pooped on by a bird.
(I've seen the word more often lately in the U.S.)
And I hate "It's a Wonderful Life."
posted by jgirl at 9:37 AM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
+1 to Moulin Rouge being completely and utterly awful. I got about half an hour in and had to turn it off. And same to every other Baz Luhrmann movie. I hate every one I've tried to watch. Hold a shot for more than two seconds! When I was home for Christmas my mom wanted to watch the Elvis movie cause she loves Elvis. I told her my feelings on the director but if she wanted to watch it ok. We made it about 15 minutes in before she turned it off and said she understood now.
posted by downtohisturtles at 9:37 AM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by downtohisturtles at 9:37 AM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
Heh; just for fun, here are links to my reviews from my blog from the only two movies I ever considered stopping halfway through:
Judge Priest, a Will Rogers vehicle from 1934.
The Ladies Man, with Jerry Lewis.
Two films out of 475 isn't bad, actually.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:48 AM on June 14, 2023
Judge Priest, a Will Rogers vehicle from 1934.
The Ladies Man, with Jerry Lewis.
Two films out of 475 isn't bad, actually.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:48 AM on June 14, 2023
I HATE being told, "Good morning!" at work.
The one that always gets me when asked first thing in the morning is "How are you" and its variations. I'm tired of automatically replying with an insincere "Fine".
Now I say "I dunno yet, I'll let you know once I get here", which is absurd enough to short-circuit that useless human ritual. I'd be perfectly happy acknowledging each other with a simple "Hi".
Relatedly, coworkers who message me on the company's instant-messaging system with only a greeting such as "Hi, how are you?" or "Do you have a moment to answer a question?" I'm tempted to respond with a smartass answer, or just not respond at all, but I know that's their version of being polite and I don't want to alienate everyone (well, I do, but for the sake of my job I won't). So I just silently wish they'd get into the habit of simply asking their question up front without the useless preliminaries, so we could get on with it.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:52 AM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
The one that always gets me when asked first thing in the morning is "How are you" and its variations. I'm tired of automatically replying with an insincere "Fine".
Now I say "I dunno yet, I'll let you know once I get here", which is absurd enough to short-circuit that useless human ritual. I'd be perfectly happy acknowledging each other with a simple "Hi".
Relatedly, coworkers who message me on the company's instant-messaging system with only a greeting such as "Hi, how are you?" or "Do you have a moment to answer a question?" I'm tempted to respond with a smartass answer, or just not respond at all, but I know that's their version of being polite and I don't want to alienate everyone (well, I do, but for the sake of my job I won't). So I just silently wish they'd get into the habit of simply asking their question up front without the useless preliminaries, so we could get on with it.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:52 AM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
coworkers who message me on the company's instant-messaging system with only a greeting such as "Hi, how are you?" or "Do you have a moment to answer a question?"
I have a link to No Hello in my company chat profile for just this reason.
posted by hanov3r at 10:27 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
I have a link to No Hello in my company chat profile for just this reason.
posted by hanov3r at 10:27 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
I have also been written up for not having useless preliminaries. I have to write emails like "Dear So-and-So. This has been processed. Thank you," and GOD FORBID I FORGET TO START WITH DEAR SO-AND-SO ON THE FIFTH EMAIL IN THE CHAIN or it's writeup time again. I also hate being hit up with "Hi" or whatever on a chat channel and then you have to sit and wait and wait and wait and wait while "X is typing...." shows for five minutes. I don't want to see if X is typing until they are done, thank you. Just ask your fucking question and be done with it. I also don't want to answer "I hope that you are doing well" (I'm not, but I can't say so!) either. I'm so tired of pretending to be "fine."
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:32 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:32 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
Funko Pops. To my eye, they are ugly and insipid. "Let's make a doll that looks exactly like all the other dolls we make, except that it's also (popular character), with the most salient physical features that (popular character) has! The fans of (popular character) will eat this up with a spoon!" Ugh, they're so depressing.
posted by Tuba Toothpaste at 10:33 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by Tuba Toothpaste at 10:33 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
- Achewood. At it's best it's derivative meme low effort fart jokes.
- The horror genre and it's insipid takeover of modern entertainment. I've seen enough dead people to know that they ain't getting up and chasing me around trying to eat(?) me. It breaks my suspension of disbelief to the degree that I can't enjoy it.
- Game of Thrones. *snips out fifteen page diatribe/manifesto*
- The thing where people crap on stuff by applying a 2023 mentality to stuff people did in the past and how people acted without realizing that they're undermining their point.
- Protagonist's syndrome. It's so childish and immature that it's one of the few things that gets my het up these days. Social media has made this so much worse that I could have possibly imagined.
- Could of, should of, would of. OMFG, flames down the sides of my face.
- The idea that because something is popular that means that it is inherently good.
- The ease that people seem to have vilifying and casually wishing grievous harm to people who might not be up to date on your vendettas and your viewpoints.
- Bullet point lists.
- Anime. We get it, it's high brow cartoons. The stories aren't any better because the medium is animation. It's weeaboo-ism.
posted by Sphinx at 10:42 AM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
- The horror genre and it's insipid takeover of modern entertainment. I've seen enough dead people to know that they ain't getting up and chasing me around trying to eat(?) me. It breaks my suspension of disbelief to the degree that I can't enjoy it.
- Game of Thrones. *snips out fifteen page diatribe/manifesto*
- The thing where people crap on stuff by applying a 2023 mentality to stuff people did in the past and how people acted without realizing that they're undermining their point.
- Protagonist's syndrome. It's so childish and immature that it's one of the few things that gets my het up these days. Social media has made this so much worse that I could have possibly imagined.
- Could of, should of, would of. OMFG, flames down the sides of my face.
- The idea that because something is popular that means that it is inherently good.
- The ease that people seem to have vilifying and casually wishing grievous harm to people who might not be up to date on your vendettas and your viewpoints.
- Bullet point lists.
- Anime. We get it, it's high brow cartoons. The stories aren't any better because the medium is animation. It's weeaboo-ism.
posted by Sphinx at 10:42 AM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
How did we get this far without dumping on vocal fry?
I hate vocal fry.
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:53 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
I hate vocal fry.
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:53 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
I will second your hatred of Funko Pops, Tuba Toothpaste, they are loathsome.
Last night I saw a car that was covered in Mandalorian stickers, like professionally done huge white vinyl Mandalorian fan crap. The car was straight from the dealership. They did not even have a real license plate yet! but they had already slathered their car in fancy expensive Mandalorian references. UGH. NO. First of all I hate that show and second of all, WTF? It's a TV show. And that's all you have to say about yourself, pop culture? I hate it.
Oh and also I hate hate hate it when in a book a character says, "This is just like a bad novel!" Welp. That certainly is true. It might not have been true on the page before this one, but it definitely is now and I will be putting it down crankily.
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:59 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
Last night I saw a car that was covered in Mandalorian stickers, like professionally done huge white vinyl Mandalorian fan crap. The car was straight from the dealership. They did not even have a real license plate yet! but they had already slathered their car in fancy expensive Mandalorian references. UGH. NO. First of all I hate that show and second of all, WTF? It's a TV show. And that's all you have to say about yourself, pop culture? I hate it.
Oh and also I hate hate hate it when in a book a character says, "This is just like a bad novel!" Welp. That certainly is true. It might not have been true on the page before this one, but it definitely is now and I will be putting it down crankily.
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:59 AM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
On a related note, Miss Manners (WaPo):
When texting or emailing friends or clients, I often start off with “Good morning” or “How are you?” and end with “Have a great day.”
I always get short, right-to-the-point answers back, like “Okay,” and they don’t usually start with “Good morning” or end with “Have a good day.” So sometimes, I sarcastically reply “Good morning to me, too,” which I know people don’t like.
Am I too sensitive? I am old school and I just think people are being rude. They can say a little more than “Be there” or something like that. Maybe my expectations are too high and I won’t expect as much anymore."
BLEEEECH.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:11 AM on June 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
When texting or emailing friends or clients, I often start off with “Good morning” or “How are you?” and end with “Have a great day.”
I always get short, right-to-the-point answers back, like “Okay,” and they don’t usually start with “Good morning” or end with “Have a good day.” So sometimes, I sarcastically reply “Good morning to me, too,” which I know people don’t like.
Am I too sensitive? I am old school and I just think people are being rude. They can say a little more than “Be there” or something like that. Maybe my expectations are too high and I won’t expect as much anymore."
BLEEEECH.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:11 AM on June 14, 2023 [3 favorites]
I thought I would have adapted to the verb-ing of "gift" by now, but everyone else apparently has, and I have not. I see it in media with professional editors now. I read it as a value judgement that things that are "given" are less special and probably because you're a poor and needed them, so we need a new term for things that are just fun presents because you're great and people like you. Hate it. Hate.
Funko pops are stupid, but I can't manage to hate them.
posted by momus_window at 11:14 AM on June 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
Funko pops are stupid, but I can't manage to hate them.
posted by momus_window at 11:14 AM on June 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
"Creative" spellings of common names, usually mangled crafted by what the home magazine industry would call "aspirational" white women. I don't care what their reasons for doing this are, or if they're even aware of their reasons. Pathetic, irritating, terrible, and loading a whole lifetime of having to spell their names out loud to everyone they ever talk to on the kid.
posted by tzikeh at 11:50 AM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by tzikeh at 11:50 AM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
momus_window: I thought I would have adapted to the verb-ing of "gift" by now
I am genuinely sorry that bothers you, but I and everyone I know have been using 'gift' as a verb since I can remember, and I'm 54 years old. I'm 100% certain it's used in lots of novels and plays written in the 19th, 20th, and 21st centuries. I mean it's been super-super common for my whole life.
(Not yumming your yuck at all, just checking the vintage)
posted by tzikeh at 11:55 AM on June 14, 2023
I am genuinely sorry that bothers you, but I and everyone I know have been using 'gift' as a verb since I can remember, and I'm 54 years old. I'm 100% certain it's used in lots of novels and plays written in the 19th, 20th, and 21st centuries. I mean it's been super-super common for my whole life.
(Not yumming your yuck at all, just checking the vintage)
posted by tzikeh at 11:55 AM on June 14, 2023
OED says:
gift, v.
1.
a. transitive. To endow or furnish with gifts (see chiefly gift n.1 6); to endow, invest, or present with as a gift.
15.. Wife in Morel's Skin C j b The friendes that were together met He [printed Be] gyfted them richely with right good speede.
a1627 W. Sclater Brief Comm. Malachy (1650) 197 See how the Lord gifted him above his brethren.
1627 R. Sanderson Ten Serm. 451 If God haue not gifted vs for it, he hath not called vs to it.
2. To bestow as a gift; to make a present of. Const. with to or dative. Also with away. Chiefly Scottish.
1619 J. Sempill Sacrilege Sacredly Handled 31 If they object, that tithes, being gifted to Levi, in official inheritance, can stand no longer than Levi [etc.].
a1639 J. Spottiswood Hist. Church Scotl. (1677) v. 278 The recovery of a parcel of ground which the Queen had gifted to Mary Levinston.
1711 in A. McKay Hist. Kilmarnock (1880) 98 This bell was gifted by the Earl of Kilmarnock to the town of Kilmarnock for their Council~house.
posted by biffa at 12:29 PM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
gift, v.
1.
a. transitive. To endow or furnish with gifts (see chiefly gift n.1 6); to endow, invest, or present with as a gift.
15.. Wife in Morel's Skin C j b The friendes that were together met He [printed Be] gyfted them richely with right good speede.
a1627 W. Sclater Brief Comm. Malachy (1650) 197 See how the Lord gifted him above his brethren.
1627 R. Sanderson Ten Serm. 451 If God haue not gifted vs for it, he hath not called vs to it.
2. To bestow as a gift; to make a present of. Const. with to or dative. Also with away. Chiefly Scottish.
1619 J. Sempill Sacrilege Sacredly Handled 31 If they object, that tithes, being gifted to Levi, in official inheritance, can stand no longer than Levi [etc.].
a1639 J. Spottiswood Hist. Church Scotl. (1677) v. 278 The recovery of a parcel of ground which the Queen had gifted to Mary Levinston.
1711 in A. McKay Hist. Kilmarnock (1880) 98 This bell was gifted by the Earl of Kilmarnock to the town of Kilmarnock for their Council~house.
posted by biffa at 12:29 PM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
You do not appreciate me, you appreciate it. You cannot appreciate me because you do not know me, but you can appreciate what it is I just did for you.
You have selected "you," referring to me. That is incorrect.
posted by zap rowsdower at 12:32 PM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
You have selected "you," referring to me. That is incorrect.
posted by zap rowsdower at 12:32 PM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
Key lime pie. The grossest substance known to humankind.
posted by Gorgik at 12:45 PM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Gorgik at 12:45 PM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
speaking of pie, a truly good apple pie does not need to be heated up, does not require ice cream. I hate it when it's assumed I want my pie heated and smothered it with ice cream. This is what you do with an underachieving apple pie.
posted by philip-random at 1:01 PM on June 14, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by philip-random at 1:01 PM on June 14, 2023 [9 favorites]
Can I go again? My language-related peeve is the use of 'learning' as a noun. As in, "we have taken the most recent learnings from XYZ pilot project and..."
PLEASE
STOP
posted by jquinby at 1:43 PM on June 14, 2023 [9 favorites]
PLEASE
STOP
posted by jquinby at 1:43 PM on June 14, 2023 [9 favorites]
I'm really enjoying everyone's hate, even of things I don't hate.
I hate the assumption that if you are hating, it's because you aren't aware of the good features of something. No, you are probably very aware, and can see it's flaws.
I'll concur with summer (why do people call CA's weather 'perfect'? Hot as hell everyday and no clouds in the afternoon. It sucks.) 'Endless summer' sounds like a punishment.
Ed Sheeran. The only guy who karaoked his Austin City Limits concert. Rappers and pop acts can perform or fake a band, but he can't. Oh I'm sorry he was holding a guitar that he occasionally strummed. My daughter liked this song by him called "Don't F with My Love" when she was young that was on one of those 'Now That's What I Call Music' cds and would request to listen to in the car constantly. The lyrics are so terrible and the music is boring. That "Shape of You" song is even worse.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:52 PM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
I hate the assumption that if you are hating, it's because you aren't aware of the good features of something. No, you are probably very aware, and can see it's flaws.
I'll concur with summer (why do people call CA's weather 'perfect'? Hot as hell everyday and no clouds in the afternoon. It sucks.) 'Endless summer' sounds like a punishment.
Ed Sheeran. The only guy who karaoked his Austin City Limits concert. Rappers and pop acts can perform or fake a band, but he can't. Oh I'm sorry he was holding a guitar that he occasionally strummed. My daughter liked this song by him called "Don't F with My Love" when she was young that was on one of those 'Now That's What I Call Music' cds and would request to listen to in the car constantly. The lyrics are so terrible and the music is boring. That "Shape of You" song is even worse.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:52 PM on June 14, 2023 [5 favorites]
the use of 'learning' as a noun.
All BusinessSpeak is pretty horrible. At least, that's my takeaway...
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:55 PM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
All BusinessSpeak is pretty horrible. At least, that's my takeaway...
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:55 PM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
OED says:
gift, v.
[...]
Well, then I hate the OED.
posted by jgirl at 2:00 PM on June 14, 2023 [15 favorites]
gift, v.
[...]
Well, then I hate the OED.
posted by jgirl at 2:00 PM on June 14, 2023 [15 favorites]
The word “booties,” as in “ankle boots worn by women,” makes me stabby. We are not infants.
The word “booty,” as used in disco, funk, or hip hop? Just fine.
A land of contrasts.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 2:01 PM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
The word “booty,” as used in disco, funk, or hip hop? Just fine.
A land of contrasts.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 2:01 PM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
How do you feel about pirate treasure?
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:09 PM on June 14, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:09 PM on June 14, 2023 [8 favorites]
I ran into another one I hate: "invest in" to refer to buying something expensive that you have no reasonable expectation of return on. You did not "invest" in a new car, you bought it.
I'm in my 40s, USian and have only heard gift as a verb in the past few years, and I've read a fair bit of 17 - 18 C literature. I amend my complaint to Millennials ruining a perfectly good usage (not really). I will note that the OED examples are of someone of status / God acting as a significant benefactor and not, like, your mom giving you a toaster.
posted by momus_window at 2:35 PM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
I'm in my 40s, USian and have only heard gift as a verb in the past few years, and I've read a fair bit of 17 - 18 C literature. I amend my complaint to Millennials ruining a perfectly good usage (not really). I will note that the OED examples are of someone of status / God acting as a significant benefactor and not, like, your mom giving you a toaster.
posted by momus_window at 2:35 PM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
Greg_Ace: All BusinessSpeak is pretty horrible.
It's language crafted in such a way that its superficially apparent lack of meaning utterly obfuscates its fundamental lack of meaning.
posted by Stoneshop at 3:06 PM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
It's language crafted in such a way that its superficially apparent lack of meaning utterly obfuscates its fundamental lack of meaning.
posted by Stoneshop at 3:06 PM on June 14, 2023 [4 favorites]
Forrest Gump, I cannot express how much I loath that movie; in particular how the Jenny character is treated. Here is someone explaining some of the issues better than I can.
posted by gudrun at 7:03 PM on June 14, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by gudrun at 7:03 PM on June 14, 2023 [10 favorites]
234. Those who most obstinately oppose the most widely-held opinions more often do so because of pride than lack of intelligence. They find the best places in the right set already taken, and they do not want back seats.posted by y2karl at 7:49 PM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
François Duc de La Rochefoucauld
Maxims
(This is not a thing I hate but other people love, it is something I hate and feel the need to mention) - Reactors on YouTube who take a drink from a honking giant cup while reacting to a video. Usually, like a five-minute video. YOU COULDN’T WAIT 5 MINUTES? You had one job. It’s so distracting.
Yes, this makes me a terrible person if they all have a medical issue that requires extremely frequent drinking and I know at least one of you is thinking about scolding me about that.
Note: I watch way too many reaction videos but I can’t stop watching the Ren ones.
Apologies to the people who hate the saying “you had one job”. I expect to find at least 4 of you here.
OH. And apologies to people who hate the small tag because it makes things too small to read on their phone. Everything is too small to read on a phone. :|
posted by Glinn at 7:51 PM on June 14, 2023
Yes, this makes me a terrible person if they all have a medical issue that requires extremely frequent drinking and I know at least one of you is thinking about scolding me about that.
Note: I watch way too many reaction videos but I can’t stop watching the Ren ones.
Apologies to the people who hate the saying “you had one job”. I expect to find at least 4 of you here.
OH. And apologies to people who hate the small tag because it makes things too small to read on their phone. Everything is too small to read on a phone. :|
posted by Glinn at 7:51 PM on June 14, 2023
Roy Orbison. Flat, flat flat.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:04 PM on June 14, 2023
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:04 PM on June 14, 2023
Rocky Horror Picture Show. Not because I’m scandalized or offended by the content- quite the opposite. I spent a good chunk of my teen years living in the Castro mid-late 70’s, and the scene there, and even more so on Polk street on a Friday or Saturday night (Hey Austin, you don’t know from weird) put that boring, dumb movie with Meatloaf (shudder) in it to shame. It had just come out when I got to Austin, and everyone was so excited and titillated by its boundary-pushing message, and I went with some enthusiasm the first time, because hay, sex is fun, right? and was so terribly underwhelmed after all the buildup. I understand that it was probably very important to people who didn’t have the privilege of the front-row seat to the explosion of gay culture that was taking place in San Francisco, but it did nothing for me, personally.It didn’t help at all that it was a musical.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:34 PM on June 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:34 PM on June 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
Kerouac generally.
Seriously- was he a misogynistic jackass or what? The writing in On The Road May be florid, but the lead character is a scumbag.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:57 PM on June 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
Seriously- was he a misogynistic jackass or what? The writing in On The Road May be florid, but the lead character is a scumbag.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:57 PM on June 14, 2023 [6 favorites]
hating "No problem" as a response to "Thank you".
How 'bout "You betcha!" instead?
posted by aubilenon at 10:00 PM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
How 'bout "You betcha!" instead?
posted by aubilenon at 10:00 PM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
How 'bout "You betcha!" instead?
I'm all for it. It's cheerful and affirming!
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:44 PM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'm all for it. It's cheerful and affirming!
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:44 PM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
Fixed shower heads.
posted by tangerine at 11:08 PM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by tangerine at 11:08 PM on June 14, 2023 [1 favorite]
Fixed shower heads.
I once spent a night in a motel in Eugene OR where the showerhead was, kid you not, no more than five feet from the floor of the shower. I mean, even genuinely short people would have to duck, and a 6'1 old guy stiff from riding a motorcycle all day? Ugh. Before I replaced it, one of the showers here was nearly as bad.
posted by maxwelton at 11:43 PM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
I once spent a night in a motel in Eugene OR where the showerhead was, kid you not, no more than five feet from the floor of the shower. I mean, even genuinely short people would have to duck, and a 6'1 old guy stiff from riding a motorcycle all day? Ugh. Before I replaced it, one of the showers here was nearly as bad.
posted by maxwelton at 11:43 PM on June 14, 2023 [2 favorites]
How 'bout "You betcha!" instead?
I'm all for it. It's cheerful and affirming!
It makes me wonder if someone is going to get fed through a wood chipper in the second half.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:25 AM on June 15, 2023 [10 favorites]
I'm all for it. It's cheerful and affirming!
It makes me wonder if someone is going to get fed through a wood chipper in the second half.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:25 AM on June 15, 2023 [10 favorites]
How 'bout "You betcha!" instead?
My brother once signed off a message with "Y/B," and....reader, I stole that.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:37 AM on June 15, 2023
My brother once signed off a message with "Y/B," and....reader, I stole that.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:37 AM on June 15, 2023
Horror movies, and the permission they gave regular movies to show people being hurt gratuitously. Movies are for pleasure, not for watching children and helpless people being tortured.
Big, stupid pickup trucks that are too high to get anything into without a ladder, and too tall to see anything in front of. I miss the old Toyotas and Ford Rangers that had a bed around the height of my waist, not up at chin level. It just proves that most of these vehicles are toys and are not being used for real work.
Katy Perry. Stop yelling, please.
The super-nasal voice actress doing the Route 6 Kia ads: because of you, I will never, ever drive a Kia, and will actively slag them off to anyone shopping for a car, and cackled at the news of their recent recalls. Your voice makes me turn off the radio with a frantic slap, and I hope you find another way to make a living ASAP.
Got-damn super-bright LED car headlights that shine straight through my skull and out the back.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:45 AM on June 15, 2023 [6 favorites]
Big, stupid pickup trucks that are too high to get anything into without a ladder, and too tall to see anything in front of. I miss the old Toyotas and Ford Rangers that had a bed around the height of my waist, not up at chin level. It just proves that most of these vehicles are toys and are not being used for real work.
Katy Perry. Stop yelling, please.
The super-nasal voice actress doing the Route 6 Kia ads: because of you, I will never, ever drive a Kia, and will actively slag them off to anyone shopping for a car, and cackled at the news of their recent recalls. Your voice makes me turn off the radio with a frantic slap, and I hope you find another way to make a living ASAP.
Got-damn super-bright LED car headlights that shine straight through my skull and out the back.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:45 AM on June 15, 2023 [6 favorites]
Milk Chocolate tastes sour/vile/vomitty.
Baked beans.
Peas from a can.
Green beans from a can.
Custards.
Fandom.
Cosplay. (I mean, dress-up in the bedroom, for 'fun-times', sure... but... in public? like it's Halloween?)
Member Berries. (Saccarine nostalgia...)
Classic songs used in advertising.
Twitter.
Reddit.
Elon Musk.
Bill Gates.
Jeff Bezos.
People who start an instant message (Teams, Slack, etc.) with just "Hi" or "Good Morning" - and now, while you have been put into an interupted/halting/waiting state, continue typing FOREVER (the 3-dots...) until they finally plug in their actual question or request... Dude/dudette, that coulda been just one whole message.
Slow typists who insist on chatting via instand messages... WRITE AN EMAIL.
MEETINGS WHICH COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL.
posted by rozcakj at 7:24 AM on June 15, 2023 [6 favorites]
Baked beans.
Peas from a can.
Green beans from a can.
Custards.
Fandom.
Cosplay. (I mean, dress-up in the bedroom, for 'fun-times', sure... but... in public? like it's Halloween?)
Member Berries. (Saccarine nostalgia...)
Classic songs used in advertising.
Twitter.
Reddit.
Elon Musk.
Bill Gates.
Jeff Bezos.
People who start an instant message (Teams, Slack, etc.) with just "Hi" or "Good Morning" - and now, while you have been put into an interupted/halting/waiting state, continue typing FOREVER (the 3-dots...) until they finally plug in their actual question or request... Dude/dudette, that coulda been just one whole message.
Slow typists who insist on chatting via instand messages... WRITE AN EMAIL.
MEETINGS WHICH COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL.
posted by rozcakj at 7:24 AM on June 15, 2023 [6 favorites]
I hate that too. When people do that, politely slap the No Hello link into the chat.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:46 AM on June 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:46 AM on June 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
Is there such a thing as a polite slap?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:09 AM on June 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:09 AM on June 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
Things I find repugnant on mostly aesthetic grounds include, but are not limited to:
- All of Microsoft's software
- All of Apple's operating systems and most of their hardware
- "Smart" "upgrades" to ordinary appliances and home hardware
- Advertising
- Public relations
- Dress codes
- Spectator sport
- Dan Brown
- James Redfield
- Kanye West
- Elon Musk
- Joe Rogan
- Big Brother
- Love Island
- MAFS
- Methamphetamine
- Televangelists
- Multi level marketing
- TFG
- Scientology
- Conservative "Christianity"
- Suburban assault vehicles
- Muscle cars
- Monster trucks
- National flags
- Gun shows
- Loyalty pledges
- Customer loyalty schemes
- Snap maps
- Tattoos
- Piercings
- Brandings
- Implants
- Jewellery
- Haircuts
- Odorants
- Makeup
- First person shooter games
- Listicles
Gun shows and First person shooter games -- hell yes to hating those.
posted by wenestvedt at 10:43 AM on June 15, 2023
posted by wenestvedt at 10:43 AM on June 15, 2023
I don't hate the things I find repugnant, mainly I suspect because the sheer volume and variety of them has burned it out of me over the last sixty years.
I do, however, consistently experience nausea, often to an annoying and distracting degree, when exposed to them.
I do, however, consistently experience nausea, often to an annoying and distracting degree, when exposed to them.
- Fox News
- Newsmax
- ONAN
I'm not fond of Mozart's Die Zauberflöte (The Magic Flute). No problem with the music, of course. It's Mozart. Mozart's great. But the story? The characters? Not a fan. And since I'm active in a masonic organization and there's a lot of masonic symbolism in Die Zauberflöte this gets awkward sometimes. Allow me to rant.
Sarastro and his priests: a bunch of self-satisfied pricks that we're expected to side with.
The Queen of the Night: great character, great symbolic potential, but unfortunately she allows herself to be handed the idiot ball at every opportunity.
Tamino: a dweeb who wants nothing more in life than to join Sarastro and his bunch of self-satisfied pricks.
Pamina: a non-entity with daddy issues who wants nothing more in life than enabling Tamino.
Papageno and Papagena: two of the saner and more well-rounded characters in the entire story. Unfortunately, they're also insufferably twee.
Monostatos: a racist charicature, but hey - it's the late 1700s and were were doing that back then.
Thanks, I feel better now.
posted by rjs at 10:54 AM on June 15, 2023 [2 favorites]
Sarastro and his priests: a bunch of self-satisfied pricks that we're expected to side with.
The Queen of the Night: great character, great symbolic potential, but unfortunately she allows herself to be handed the idiot ball at every opportunity.
Tamino: a dweeb who wants nothing more in life than to join Sarastro and his bunch of self-satisfied pricks.
Pamina: a non-entity with daddy issues who wants nothing more in life than enabling Tamino.
Papageno and Papagena: two of the saner and more well-rounded characters in the entire story. Unfortunately, they're also insufferably twee.
Monostatos: a racist charicature, but hey - it's the late 1700s and were were doing that back then.
Thanks, I feel better now.
posted by rjs at 10:54 AM on June 15, 2023 [2 favorites]
- Secret societies
- Initiation rituals
- Hazing
Those shower shoes people wear everywhere now (or 'slides' as people call them). Double if they're wearing socks.
posted by fedward at 11:11 AM on June 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by fedward at 11:11 AM on June 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
- Homeowners' associations
- Gated communities
- Boundary-to-boundary house building ("McMansions")
- Housing developments laid out with no regard for solar orientation
- Shoes worn without socks
Haircuts, flabdablet? Like. . . all of them? No cutting hair ever?
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:01 PM on June 15, 2023
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:01 PM on June 15, 2023
I came here to specifically write "Little Drummer Boy". And someone has already written it.
I'm fine with Christmas music, even the cheesier kinds, but the Little Drummer Boy gets me every time, in a want-to-throw-heavy-stuff kind of way.
posted by Namlit at 12:14 PM on June 15, 2023 [4 favorites]
I'm fine with Christmas music, even the cheesier kinds, but the Little Drummer Boy gets me every time, in a want-to-throw-heavy-stuff kind of way.
posted by Namlit at 12:14 PM on June 15, 2023 [4 favorites]
Mozart's Queen of the Night is famous for the incandescent rage of one of her arias, but by now I’ve heard it in the voices of five or six different sopranos, and I can’t even hear anger.
So I figure "the Magic Flute" just must not be meant for me.
posted by jamjam at 12:17 PM on June 15, 2023
So I figure "the Magic Flute" just must not be meant for me.
posted by jamjam at 12:17 PM on June 15, 2023
Really.
Try Cadbury's Dairy Milk, Galaxy, Milka, any cheap chocolate from around the world, even bizarre supermarket own-brand stuff. It might get a bit too waxy at times for even the unrefined palatte, but only American chocolate tastes like parmesan gone terribly wrong.
posted by Grangousier at 12:28 PM on June 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
Try Cadbury's Dairy Milk, Galaxy, Milka, any cheap chocolate from around the world
Sigh - I have, both imported to Canada and when I lived in Australia.
It is not as bad as American, but it still tastes sour to me - edible, though. But - don't worry, I enjoy dark chocolate immensely, so I am not missing out on anything...
posted by rozcakj at 12:39 PM on June 15, 2023 [2 favorites]
Sigh - I have, both imported to Canada and when I lived in Australia.
It is not as bad as American, but it still tastes sour to me - edible, though. But - don't worry, I enjoy dark chocolate immensely, so I am not missing out on anything...
posted by rozcakj at 12:39 PM on June 15, 2023 [2 favorites]
I came here to specifically write "Little Drummer Boy". And someone has already written it.
Hey Mary, I know you just birthed out an infant in a animal pen and are probably a bit tired with a cranky toddler, but hey listen to my bitchin' drum solo!!! Oh messed up, let me start over!!! Oh messed up let me start over. Oh missed that beat let me start over....
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:44 PM on June 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
Hey Mary, I know you just birthed out an infant in a animal pen and are probably a bit tired with a cranky toddler, but hey listen to my bitchin' drum solo!!! Oh messed up, let me start over!!! Oh messed up let me start over. Oh missed that beat let me start over....
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:44 PM on June 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
No cutting hair ever?
It's not something I do. Since becoming an adult I've cut my hair twice that I can recall. Both of those were total shaves, after the second of which I was kindly informed that I looked like a lobotomy patient and asked not to do that again.
And while I have of course no principled objection to other people doing whatever the fuck they want with their own bodies, personal adornment and grooming as status markers and/or assertions of identity just leave me shaking my head in despair at Homo's manifest lack of sapiens.
Clothes Maketh The Man is an attitude I find irredeemably disgusting. If you don't stink and you're no louder than you can help then you're fine as far as I'm concerned. But 99.999% of humanity appears to allocate respect mainly on the basis of rules about how somebody has to look in order to be worthy of it and that has always pissed me off. As has the idea that how I look is in any way related to the amount of respect I have for you.
If you come to my funeral you will show respect for my memory by dressing for comfort. The kind of comfort that so many people were astonished to find out was A Thing during lockdowns. Turn up rocking your saggy bits, your puffy bits, your spotty bits, your untrimmed bits and your scraggly toes, and anybody who gives you grief for any of that can fuck off into the sun cos they'll get no cake from my family.
posted by flabdablet at 12:58 PM on June 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
It's not something I do. Since becoming an adult I've cut my hair twice that I can recall. Both of those were total shaves, after the second of which I was kindly informed that I looked like a lobotomy patient and asked not to do that again.
And while I have of course no principled objection to other people doing whatever the fuck they want with their own bodies, personal adornment and grooming as status markers and/or assertions of identity just leave me shaking my head in despair at Homo's manifest lack of sapiens.
Clothes Maketh The Man is an attitude I find irredeemably disgusting. If you don't stink and you're no louder than you can help then you're fine as far as I'm concerned. But 99.999% of humanity appears to allocate respect mainly on the basis of rules about how somebody has to look in order to be worthy of it and that has always pissed me off. As has the idea that how I look is in any way related to the amount of respect I have for you.
If you come to my funeral you will show respect for my memory by dressing for comfort. The kind of comfort that so many people were astonished to find out was A Thing during lockdowns. Turn up rocking your saggy bits, your puffy bits, your spotty bits, your untrimmed bits and your scraggly toes, and anybody who gives you grief for any of that can fuck off into the sun cos they'll get no cake from my family.
posted by flabdablet at 12:58 PM on June 15, 2023 [3 favorites]
I will also concur that Little Drummer Boy is terrible.
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:30 PM on June 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:30 PM on June 15, 2023 [1 favorite]
Super bright headlights can die in a fire, agreed on that.
But the car-lighting thing I hate even more are people--and it's all types, not just young jerk-ass guys, which you'd expect--who drive with their "foglights" or "driving lights" on ALL OF THE DAMN TIME. Subarus, BMWs, giant trucks, whatever, it doesn't seem to matter, people see a light switch and, slack-jawed, just turn it on. Now there is an extra pair of super-bright lights I have to deal with as you approach. My eyeballs have caught on fire and I won't be able to see for several minutes after you pass, thank you so much, asshole.
Similarly, my local road department has started putting up signs where the reflective paint is SO reflective you cannot read what the sign says in your headlights. I mean a glowing red octagon is easy enough, but all of the yellow diamond warning signs? Nothing there.
posted by maxwelton at 2:09 PM on June 15, 2023
But the car-lighting thing I hate even more are people--and it's all types, not just young jerk-ass guys, which you'd expect--who drive with their "foglights" or "driving lights" on ALL OF THE DAMN TIME. Subarus, BMWs, giant trucks, whatever, it doesn't seem to matter, people see a light switch and, slack-jawed, just turn it on. Now there is an extra pair of super-bright lights I have to deal with as you approach. My eyeballs have caught on fire and I won't be able to see for several minutes after you pass, thank you so much, asshole.
Similarly, my local road department has started putting up signs where the reflective paint is SO reflective you cannot read what the sign says in your headlights. I mean a glowing red octagon is easy enough, but all of the yellow diamond warning signs? Nothing there.
posted by maxwelton at 2:09 PM on June 15, 2023
I'm right there with egregious theorem in re: Harry Potter: I read the first four books because I kept hearing how good it was, kept waiting for it to get good, then finally gave up. That said, as much as I think it's crap I'm still glad it got kids reading.
Re: the "Just one?" comment at restaurants, the last time I got that I raised an eyebrow and said "I think I'm in good company." I doubt that's a powerful ward, but I've eaten by myself many times since and have never been asked it again.
Hates, in no particular order:
Re: the "Just one?" comment at restaurants, the last time I got that I raised an eyebrow and said "I think I'm in good company." I doubt that's a powerful ward, but I've eaten by myself many times since and have never been asked it again.
Hates, in no particular order:
- That fucking song about how life is a highway.
- Everything by Kid Rock. I was reminded of his music at a wedding about six years ago and am still annoyed about it. I could have gone the rest of my life without hearing it again; my life would have been no poorer for it.
- Twilight. It's fractally bad: the prose, the characterization, the psychology, the ridiculous confusion of paternalism and stalking for romance. It's ignorant misogynist horseshit. I'm only listing this one because I finally read it in the last year or so, before reading Chemistry by C.L. Lynch, which is smart and sensible and interesting in every way that Twilight isn't.
I don't know who needs to hear this today but I hate all of the things that you love.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 3:55 PM on June 15, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by Parasite Unseen at 3:55 PM on June 15, 2023 [5 favorites]
Oh and one more.
I hate the incessant need of modern marketers to cute-ify and anthropomorphize every little product and object.
Most recent example: I just got a case of wine shipped, and the packing tape on the wine said "Hooray! Your wine is here!" Well, no shit, dingus. I'm aware it's here because...it's here. I don't need a pleasant interaction with packing tape. It just needs to make sure the wine doesn't fall out of the box.
posted by pdb at 4:26 PM on June 15, 2023 [9 favorites]
I hate the incessant need of modern marketers to cute-ify and anthropomorphize every little product and object.
Most recent example: I just got a case of wine shipped, and the packing tape on the wine said "Hooray! Your wine is here!" Well, no shit, dingus. I'm aware it's here because...it's here. I don't need a pleasant interaction with packing tape. It just needs to make sure the wine doesn't fall out of the box.
posted by pdb at 4:26 PM on June 15, 2023 [9 favorites]
Metafilter: a pleasant interaction with packing tape
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:50 PM on June 15, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:50 PM on June 15, 2023 [7 favorites]
I don't need a pleasant interaction with packing tape.
Don't let boxes tell you what to do.
Don't let boxes tell you what to do.
- Food waste
and two more.
Zombie anything ... except Return of the Living Dead which is an absolute blast of a satire on the genre.
Post apocalyptic stuff in general. I'm soooo bored of people's dim imaginings of how bad (yet fun in an adventure sort of way) it's all going to be once we get rid of ninety percent of population and everybody left descends into savagery. I'm NOT interested in your half-baked prognostications, particularly as meanwhile, the actual apocalypse is erupting/unveiling all around us, in real time.
posted by philip-random at 8:14 PM on June 15, 2023 [7 favorites]
Zombie anything ... except Return of the Living Dead which is an absolute blast of a satire on the genre.
Post apocalyptic stuff in general. I'm soooo bored of people's dim imaginings of how bad (yet fun in an adventure sort of way) it's all going to be once we get rid of ninety percent of population and everybody left descends into savagery. I'm NOT interested in your half-baked prognostications, particularly as meanwhile, the actual apocalypse is erupting/unveiling all around us, in real time.
posted by philip-random at 8:14 PM on June 15, 2023 [7 favorites]
Aww, I was scrolling to the bottom to post my Forrest Gump rant, and got beaten to the punch.
So, I guess I'll go with my Most Hated Song. I abhor Love Shack. And it's a song that got played at least daily on the "mainstream inoffensive" radio station at the costume shop.
posted by DebetEsse at 8:56 PM on June 15, 2023 [5 favorites]
So, I guess I'll go with my Most Hated Song. I abhor Love Shack. And it's a song that got played at least daily on the "mainstream inoffensive" radio station at the costume shop.
posted by DebetEsse at 8:56 PM on June 15, 2023 [5 favorites]
I recall seeing the trailer for Forrest Gump and deciding, I Hate This Movie. Which is as close as I ever got to it.
posted by philip-random at 8:59 PM on June 15, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by philip-random at 8:59 PM on June 15, 2023 [4 favorites]
Oh and: when Google tells you "Did you mean [this random thing instead of the thing you've meticulously been trying to spell out]"
First of all, WHY IS THERE NO QUESTION MARK? It's a question. You are asking me a question, dummy. Use a question mark.
Second, in a world of clickability, why isn't there a box where I can answer "no" for once and all? Doesn't Google want to learn from me? I always thought Google wants to learn from me.
posted by Namlit at 12:21 AM on June 16, 2023 [5 favorites]
First of all, WHY IS THERE NO QUESTION MARK? It's a question. You are asking me a question, dummy. Use a question mark.
Second, in a world of clickability, why isn't there a box where I can answer "no" for once and all? Doesn't Google want to learn from me? I always thought Google wants to learn from me.
posted by Namlit at 12:21 AM on June 16, 2023 [5 favorites]
I always thought Google wants to learn from me.
They do, but they want you involved in that process to the tiniest extent achievable, lest you get some inkling of what they've learned from you.
Google wants to keep running you through the maze, tabulating how long it takes you to get to the lever, and finding the lowest pellet dispensing rate that keeps you pushing on it with your little paws. They're not the slightest bit interested in what you think your motivations for doing that might be. As long as you keep on not jumping out of their maze, they're happy.
posted by flabdablet at 2:48 AM on June 16, 2023 [2 favorites]
They do, but they want you involved in that process to the tiniest extent achievable, lest you get some inkling of what they've learned from you.
Google wants to keep running you through the maze, tabulating how long it takes you to get to the lever, and finding the lowest pellet dispensing rate that keeps you pushing on it with your little paws. They're not the slightest bit interested in what you think your motivations for doing that might be. As long as you keep on not jumping out of their maze, they're happy.
posted by flabdablet at 2:48 AM on June 16, 2023 [2 favorites]
I've talked about my language-related pet peeves on MetaFilter before, but I don't think I've ever mentioned my incandescent hatred of "Thanks in advance."
You're awfully confident you're going to get the thing you're asking for, aren't you? Don't be so damn presumptuous. Nothing motivates me more to NOT do something to be thanked for than being "thanked in advance." Just be considerate and take a minute to thank people when they actually do something for you.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:57 AM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
You're awfully confident you're going to get the thing you're asking for, aren't you? Don't be so damn presumptuous. Nothing motivates me more to NOT do something to be thanked for than being "thanked in advance." Just be considerate and take a minute to thank people when they actually do something for you.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:57 AM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
I hate it when TV shows have doorbell sounds in them.
I hate it when radio shows have goddamn siren sounds in them.
I hate Stephen King. Every book has 900 pages because every minor character has to be given a (BORING!) personality. Every character pukes or shits him or herself at least once. If they're a Mainer, they have to say "ayup" fiftybillion times a novel. I read every novel. Every fuckin one. But I never buy them. They just somehow accrue to me. It is a curse.
I hate Ira Glass with the flame of a million suns. Bruce Springsteen seems like he might be a nice person, I guess, but it doesn't make up for the torture of the music, except for "I'm on Fire," which I like.
I hate the word "encrusted" on menus. "Moist" is fine, but "encrusted" can go to hell.
I hate Quentin Tarentino and Wes Anderson. I hate hate hate hate hate Lars Von Trier.
I hate The Walking Dead but of course I do: everyone does. What might be somewhat rare, I hate Stranger Things. I hate it because it started out somewhat interesting but then devolved into an endless war story. A lot of stuff is like that. The Marvel movies, for instance. If it's popular enough the writer(s) run(s) out of ideas and eventually whatever it is becomes The Longest Day on a loop. This is another of countless reasons I hate Stephen King.
I hate "gutted." "I'm gutted I missed your party." Particularly since it's a britishism and so when you emphasize it you have to spit the T.
I hate Kelly Corrigan, of Kelly Corrigan Wonders. Keep wondering, Kelly, it's a free country, but feel no compunction to publicize what the fuck you're wondering about. Wonder in solitude, Kelly Corrigan.
I hate that WNYC cancelled The Takeaway, which was an interesting show about stuff I didn't know about and wanted to know about but whoever sponsors it haven't cancelled and probably will never cancel Kelly Corrigan Wonders, which is a show about wealthy American yogini concerns that I don't wonder about and don't want to know about and never will want to know about forever the end.
"Gift" for "give" is weird. Is "gift-giving" going to become "gift-gifting?" No. Thus "gifting" is just weird and wrong and dumb.
I hate when people who make tedious work software like Teams or similar send me "take a ten-minute survey about our shit product" invitations. Why would I want to help you make more and better implements of torture for our corporate overlords? Toolbags.
"Love Shack" sucks.
posted by Don Pepino at 10:01 AM on June 16, 2023 [5 favorites]
I hate it when radio shows have goddamn siren sounds in them.
I hate Stephen King. Every book has 900 pages because every minor character has to be given a (BORING!) personality. Every character pukes or shits him or herself at least once. If they're a Mainer, they have to say "ayup" fiftybillion times a novel. I read every novel. Every fuckin one. But I never buy them. They just somehow accrue to me. It is a curse.
I hate Ira Glass with the flame of a million suns. Bruce Springsteen seems like he might be a nice person, I guess, but it doesn't make up for the torture of the music, except for "I'm on Fire," which I like.
I hate the word "encrusted" on menus. "Moist" is fine, but "encrusted" can go to hell.
I hate Quentin Tarentino and Wes Anderson. I hate hate hate hate hate Lars Von Trier.
I hate The Walking Dead but of course I do: everyone does. What might be somewhat rare, I hate Stranger Things. I hate it because it started out somewhat interesting but then devolved into an endless war story. A lot of stuff is like that. The Marvel movies, for instance. If it's popular enough the writer(s) run(s) out of ideas and eventually whatever it is becomes The Longest Day on a loop. This is another of countless reasons I hate Stephen King.
I hate "gutted." "I'm gutted I missed your party." Particularly since it's a britishism and so when you emphasize it you have to spit the T.
I hate Kelly Corrigan, of Kelly Corrigan Wonders. Keep wondering, Kelly, it's a free country, but feel no compunction to publicize what the fuck you're wondering about. Wonder in solitude, Kelly Corrigan.
I hate that WNYC cancelled The Takeaway, which was an interesting show about stuff I didn't know about and wanted to know about but whoever sponsors it haven't cancelled and probably will never cancel Kelly Corrigan Wonders, which is a show about wealthy American yogini concerns that I don't wonder about and don't want to know about and never will want to know about forever the end.
"Gift" for "give" is weird. Is "gift-giving" going to become "gift-gifting?" No. Thus "gifting" is just weird and wrong and dumb.
I hate when people who make tedious work software like Teams or similar send me "take a ten-minute survey about our shit product" invitations. Why would I want to help you make more and better implements of torture for our corporate overlords? Toolbags.
"Love Shack" sucks.
posted by Don Pepino at 10:01 AM on June 16, 2023 [5 favorites]
The greetings "Happy Monday!" and "Happy Friday!" can go die in a fire.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:09 AM on June 16, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:09 AM on June 16, 2023 [3 favorites]
but Happy Wednesday's okay? Asking for a friend.
I hate Stranger Things. I hate it because it started out somewhat interesting but then devolved into an endless war story.
For me, it's because it started out really quite good for what it was (E.T. crossed with actually scary monster stuff), then proceeded, through the next two seasons, to not be as good. Maybe the kids just weren't as cute anymore. No, the writing got worse. It felt more and more dragged out. Like, we've got enough story for four episodes this season, but Netflix wants ten, so ...
I didn't even make it to the end of Season Three. Then I heard that Season Four was a great return to form ... and it was worse. WTF was all that Russia stuff about!?!? And even all the back in America stuff was stretched thin. It would be interesting to see a fan edit where the focus got fixed on just the stuff that matters toward making the story move forward specific to the town, the kids, the monstrous evil. I'm guessing you could do it all in three hours.
It was cool to hear the Kate Bush song.
posted by philip-random at 10:32 AM on June 16, 2023
I hate Stranger Things. I hate it because it started out somewhat interesting but then devolved into an endless war story.
For me, it's because it started out really quite good for what it was (E.T. crossed with actually scary monster stuff), then proceeded, through the next two seasons, to not be as good. Maybe the kids just weren't as cute anymore. No, the writing got worse. It felt more and more dragged out. Like, we've got enough story for four episodes this season, but Netflix wants ten, so ...
I didn't even make it to the end of Season Three. Then I heard that Season Four was a great return to form ... and it was worse. WTF was all that Russia stuff about!?!? And even all the back in America stuff was stretched thin. It would be interesting to see a fan edit where the focus got fixed on just the stuff that matters toward making the story move forward specific to the town, the kids, the monstrous evil. I'm guessing you could do it all in three hours.
It was cool to hear the Kate Bush song.
posted by philip-random at 10:32 AM on June 16, 2023
The greetings "Happy Monday!" and "Happy Friday!" can go die in a fire.
What about if they're used ironically?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:32 AM on June 16, 2023
What about if they're used ironically?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:32 AM on June 16, 2023
What about if they're used ironically?
I will grudgingly allow it.
but Happy Wednesday's okay?
I don't know if I've ever heard someone say "Happy Wednesday"; in my experience the people who say things like "Happy Monday" or "Happy Friday" always say "Happy Hump Day" instead.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:36 AM on June 16, 2023 [3 favorites]
I will grudgingly allow it.
but Happy Wednesday's okay?
I don't know if I've ever heard someone say "Happy Wednesday"; in my experience the people who say things like "Happy Monday" or "Happy Friday" always say "Happy Hump Day" instead.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:36 AM on June 16, 2023 [3 favorites]
I'll go with my Most Hated Song. I abhor Love Shack.
Thirding this. "Rock Lobster" as well. If you must B-52, just play "Roam" in endless rotation. Thank You.
posted by Rash at 10:40 AM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
Thirding this. "Rock Lobster" as well. If you must B-52, just play "Roam" in endless rotation. Thank You.
posted by Rash at 10:40 AM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
"Hand" as a part of a compound adjective describing a food, found mainly in restaurants that aren't as good as they think they are: "hand-tossed", "hand-cut", "hand-torn", et cetera. I know people used their hands to make the food I'm eating, but I don't really want to *think* about it, you know?
People using dumb already-trite catchphrases to describe what their shallow understanding tells them about AI, with a sort of "gotcha!" air: stochastic parrot, fancy autocomplete, plagiarism engine, whatever. Tell me you haven't really explored the topic (either by having an extended exchange with one yourself and really seeing what it can do, or by reading anything deeper than a sensationalistic opinion piece about what's really going on under the surface with these things) without telling me, etc. The ironic thing of course is that these folks are engaging in exactly what they're accusing the chatbots of doing, repeating somebody else's words with no genuine understanding but in a definite declarative tone, as if they just came to that conclusion on their own.
Radiohead. Smashing Pumpkins. Soundgarden. Other bands where the singers sabotage what could be pretty interesting music with their whole pained poor me parade.
Motherfucking tailgaters, lane weavers, unsignalling lane changers. Your selfish stupidity is risking the lives of everyone around you, and for what? A few seconds (or minutes at the most) earlier arrival? Fucking *leave 5 minutes earlier* and drive like someone who gives a shit about other people. Assholes.
Complainers.
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 10:55 AM on June 16, 2023 [5 favorites]
People using dumb already-trite catchphrases to describe what their shallow understanding tells them about AI, with a sort of "gotcha!" air: stochastic parrot, fancy autocomplete, plagiarism engine, whatever. Tell me you haven't really explored the topic (either by having an extended exchange with one yourself and really seeing what it can do, or by reading anything deeper than a sensationalistic opinion piece about what's really going on under the surface with these things) without telling me, etc. The ironic thing of course is that these folks are engaging in exactly what they're accusing the chatbots of doing, repeating somebody else's words with no genuine understanding but in a definite declarative tone, as if they just came to that conclusion on their own.
Radiohead. Smashing Pumpkins. Soundgarden. Other bands where the singers sabotage what could be pretty interesting music with their whole pained poor me parade.
Motherfucking tailgaters, lane weavers, unsignalling lane changers. Your selfish stupidity is risking the lives of everyone around you, and for what? A few seconds (or minutes at the most) earlier arrival? Fucking *leave 5 minutes earlier* and drive like someone who gives a shit about other people. Assholes.
Complainers.
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 10:55 AM on June 16, 2023 [5 favorites]
METAFILTER: Complainers.
posted by philip-random at 11:53 AM on June 16, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by philip-random at 11:53 AM on June 16, 2023 [7 favorites]
The greetings "Happy Monday!" and "Happy Friday!" can go die in a fire.
What about if they're used ironically?
I will grudgingly allow it.
In that case, "Happy Friday."
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:11 PM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
What about if they're used ironically?
I will grudgingly allow it.
In that case, "Happy Friday."
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:11 PM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
The way that some forum software (Discus, Open Web…) is now showing a “Show More…” link on most comments in a thread. When clicked, you often see a few words or, sometimes, even a whole line more content.
I am pretty sure this has nothing to do with saving pixels (after all, this is often on an infinite scrolling webpage) and it’s all about some sort of dark pattern/user engagement metric gaming bullshit.
posted by soylent00FF00 at 12:55 PM on June 16, 2023 [2 favorites]
I am pretty sure this has nothing to do with saving pixels (after all, this is often on an infinite scrolling webpage) and it’s all about some sort of dark pattern/user engagement metric gaming bullshit.
posted by soylent00FF00 at 12:55 PM on June 16, 2023 [2 favorites]
An ancillary benefit of Trump's indictment for me is now I know how to pronounce the word stochastic without ever having to look it up. Or rather thought I knew until I decided to look it up anyway to be sure. Oh well...
posted by y2karl at 1:15 PM on June 16, 2023
posted by y2karl at 1:15 PM on June 16, 2023
I don't know if I've ever heard someone say "Happy Wednesday"; in my experience the people who say things like "Happy Monday" or "Happy Friday" always say "Happy Hump Day" instead.
Probably just proof that I have the maturity of a 12 year old, but "Hump day" has always sounded ambiguous to me in a work setting.
posted by Dip Flash at 1:22 PM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
Probably just proof that I have the maturity of a 12 year old, but "Hump day" has always sounded ambiguous to me in a work setting.
posted by Dip Flash at 1:22 PM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
Bob Seger makes me want to poke ice picks through my eardrums...I can't explain why (neither my parents or friends are big fans) I just can't stand it.
posted by schyler523 at 1:48 PM on June 16, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by schyler523 at 1:48 PM on June 16, 2023 [2 favorites]
...college-professor-who-bones-his-students bonafides
Oh great, now I had to look up how to pronounce bona fides. This thread is a Gene Wolfe-ian multidimensional opened can of worms.
posted by y2karl at 1:52 PM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
Oh great, now I had to look up how to pronounce bona fides. This thread is a Gene Wolfe-ian multidimensional opened can of worms.
posted by y2karl at 1:52 PM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
Motherfucking tailgaters
As someone who attended an SEC school, I was feeling pretty attacked until I realized what you meant.
posted by solotoro at 1:54 PM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
As someone who attended an SEC school, I was feeling pretty attacked until I realized what you meant.
posted by solotoro at 1:54 PM on June 16, 2023 [1 favorite]
"Hand" as a part of a compound adjective describing a food
“Farm-fresh eggs.” Makes me itchy. I hate it.
posted by uncleozzy at 2:21 PM on June 16, 2023 [2 favorites]
“Farm-fresh eggs.” Makes me itchy. I hate it.
posted by uncleozzy at 2:21 PM on June 16, 2023 [2 favorites]
Bob Seger makes me want to poke ice picks through my eardrums...I can't explain why
for me, it's young Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear (reminding me of an asshole from high school) to one of the very worst rock N roll songs ever unleashed upon the world. Actually, the song itself is just meh. It's the lyrics I can't abide.
Today's music ain't got the same soul
I like that old time rock 'n' roll
Don't try to take me to a disco
You'll never even get me out on the floor
In ten minutes I'll be late for the door
I like that old time rock 'n' roll
Reactionary tripe.
posted by philip-random at 2:34 PM on June 16, 2023 [4 favorites]
for me, it's young Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear (reminding me of an asshole from high school) to one of the very worst rock N roll songs ever unleashed upon the world. Actually, the song itself is just meh. It's the lyrics I can't abide.
Today's music ain't got the same soul
I like that old time rock 'n' roll
Don't try to take me to a disco
You'll never even get me out on the floor
In ten minutes I'll be late for the door
I like that old time rock 'n' roll
Reactionary tripe.
posted by philip-random at 2:34 PM on June 16, 2023 [4 favorites]
People who ride around on motorcycles that are as loud as possible, setting off car alarms (which are also the most pointless thing ever, I can't believe no one has outlawed them yet).
I also have to agree with "fur babies" and also "plant parents"??? I don't want to be a parent, can't I just have a plant like a normal person?
posted by exceptinsects at 5:02 PM on June 16, 2023 [7 favorites]
I also have to agree with "fur babies" and also "plant parents"??? I don't want to be a parent, can't I just have a plant like a normal person?
posted by exceptinsects at 5:02 PM on June 16, 2023 [7 favorites]
I hate it when TV shows have doorbell sounds in them.
I hate it when radio shows have goddamn siren sounds in them.
I hate it when commercials use alarm clock sounds. It's bad enough that I scramble in the mornings to slam my own alarm off the second it hits...I DON'T want to hear it on the car radio or tv as well.
I hate customers who stand RIGHT BEHIND ME WHILE I WORK. I actually elbowed a woman in the chest because I had no idea she was right there and I was moving a box to a shelf. Sorry not sorry.
posted by annieb at 5:40 PM on June 16, 2023 [5 favorites]
I hate it when radio shows have goddamn siren sounds in them.
I hate it when commercials use alarm clock sounds. It's bad enough that I scramble in the mornings to slam my own alarm off the second it hits...I DON'T want to hear it on the car radio or tv as well.
I hate customers who stand RIGHT BEHIND ME WHILE I WORK. I actually elbowed a woman in the chest because I had no idea she was right there and I was moving a box to a shelf. Sorry not sorry.
posted by annieb at 5:40 PM on June 16, 2023 [5 favorites]
...for me, it's young Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear
Worst.Jack.Reacher.Ever.
posted by y2karl at 9:00 PM on June 16, 2023 [4 favorites]
Worst.Jack.Reacher.Ever.
posted by y2karl at 9:00 PM on June 16, 2023 [4 favorites]
It is a goals of mine to die without ever seeing Titanic and I'm nailing it!
posted by brookeb at 9:28 PM on June 16, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by brookeb at 9:28 PM on June 16, 2023 [10 favorites]
Okay so somebody should sell hard boiled eggs as “hand eggs”.
posted by clew at 3:15 PM on June 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by clew at 3:15 PM on June 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
As a longtime Minnesota resident......I just can't deal with Bob Dylan.
How 'bout "You betcha!" instead?
I'll mention one subtle advantage of "you betcha" -- it probably wasn't generated by an autosuggest button, so it gives a sense that you might have put a tiny bit of thought and volition into the response.
posted by gimonca at 6:11 PM on June 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
How 'bout "You betcha!" instead?
I'll mention one subtle advantage of "you betcha" -- it probably wasn't generated by an autosuggest button, so it gives a sense that you might have put a tiny bit of thought and volition into the response.
posted by gimonca at 6:11 PM on June 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Okay so somebody should sell hard boiled eggs as “hand eggs”.
Aren't they "bum nuts" in Australia?
posted by Dip Flash at 7:08 PM on June 17, 2023
Aren't they "bum nuts" in Australia?
posted by Dip Flash at 7:08 PM on June 17, 2023
They are indeed, and must not be confused with "barker's eggs" which are of course dog turds.
posted by flabdablet at 10:59 PM on June 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 10:59 PM on June 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Nearly all popular music from 1997-2001 (specific, I know). My husband and I were watching a top song of the month clip video from the late 70s to now and we got to MMMBop by Hanson. Oh no, it's started 😞
I was 9 years old at that point and I swear I legitimately thought all music was terrible for a good 5 years. Not all CURRENT music was terrible, I guess I was young enough not to remember anything decent I'd heard before.
I'd get on the school bus to an endless loop of Hanson, Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, 98 Degrees, Brittany Spears (all made ten times worse by the other kids who were somehow obsessed with them) as well as other gems like Bitch by Meredith Brooks, Barbie Girl by Aqua, I Don't Wanna Wait by Paula Cole, My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion, Believe by Cher, Livin' la Vida Loca by Ricky Martin, All Star by Smash Mouth. I'm sure I'm missing some, let me know which ones!
I'd get home and hear the top country hits blasting on CMT. Did not help that I hated the person doing the blasting (for very valid reasons, I assure you). LeeAnn Rimes, Shania Twain, Tim McGraw, Trisha Yearwood, Faith Hill, Brooks & Dunn, etc. BURN THEM ALL 🔥 🔥 🔥
Thanks for starting this topic, clearly I really needed it!
posted by Eyelash at 3:06 AM on June 18, 2023 [5 favorites]
I was 9 years old at that point and I swear I legitimately thought all music was terrible for a good 5 years. Not all CURRENT music was terrible, I guess I was young enough not to remember anything decent I'd heard before.
I'd get on the school bus to an endless loop of Hanson, Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, 98 Degrees, Brittany Spears (all made ten times worse by the other kids who were somehow obsessed with them) as well as other gems like Bitch by Meredith Brooks, Barbie Girl by Aqua, I Don't Wanna Wait by Paula Cole, My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion, Believe by Cher, Livin' la Vida Loca by Ricky Martin, All Star by Smash Mouth. I'm sure I'm missing some, let me know which ones!
I'd get home and hear the top country hits blasting on CMT. Did not help that I hated the person doing the blasting (for very valid reasons, I assure you). LeeAnn Rimes, Shania Twain, Tim McGraw, Trisha Yearwood, Faith Hill, Brooks & Dunn, etc. BURN THEM ALL 🔥 🔥 🔥
Thanks for starting this topic, clearly I really needed it!
posted by Eyelash at 3:06 AM on June 18, 2023 [5 favorites]
Complainers.
... but I'm so good at it! Like Dirty Old Town said, I used to define myself by what I'm not and used to think I was better than people for the things I liked or disdained. I listen now, I want to know why you like a thing and what you like about it.
About a decade ago I had a job where we had an IM system and chat rooms, and made a number of good friends from nerd chats, food, books and TV/movies. I wanted to talk to people about the music they were listening to while working, so I opened a #NowPlaying room and it got above-zero members and chat -- up until a few people came in and created a running joke replying "Classic." to tedious cis-het establishment pop hits. I couldn't really replace my disdain with "person X things this is a classic."
I do like the notion that books/tv/movies/music and all art should make us consider our place in the cosmos and help us be better people, from soap operas that let you practice feeling big feelings about mundane life-events to stunning mind-expanding things after which you feel different. It's scary, but change is inevitable, so learn to change well.
In brief:
- Lin-Manuel Miranda might be a fine poet but the stage enunciation turns Hamilton into rapping for and by white people. It happens, too, in the Scuttlebutt thing they shoe-horned into cover-band-remake Little Mermaid.
- Joss Whedon's "saviour little girls" are important to the people who needed a reminder against the prevailing culture, but it's one note, my man, and it's outdated and Whedon's own words explain how horrible he was while making those shows.
- JJ Abrams makes bullshit mysteries, plus his renakes are like a poor cover band reminding you that you want to be listening to a better act: I joked before seeing Star Trek: Into Darkness that he was remaking Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan so we knew who the baddie would be. [Yawn]
- Christopher Nolan telegraphs all the plot points like he's Chekhov's Quartermaster. Maybe it's storytelling prestige and we're to marvel at the threads he weaves in the story, but I don't care for it.
- Hans Zimmer -- something we'll call the Zimmer Frame plays his music at 66% speed. If you play it at 120-150% speed, it's forgettable Romantic-era classical music or John Williams pastiche. I avoid movies he's involved in and can't recall a famous Zimmer theme -- "bwaaaAAAAAaaarp" doesn't count -- like people recall John Williams themes.
- Star Trek writing that has characters do the least-worst options with the excuse "we had no choice." That's poor storytelling, you might write the macguffin that caused this so that it has some extra layers that catch people out wanting outcome A and being forced to do bad things B/C/D to get there.
- Arguing with people about Star Wars -- you're in a cinema for escapism, that's what it is, so don't worry about things making sense and don't argue about it to make it make sense. This is the same obsession that brought about this suggestion that all the Pixar films fit into one continuity, please keep that navel-gazing w_nk to the gate-keeping insiders-vs-outsiders communities that die out from infighting.
- USA culture that's twisted because it can't deal with the legacy of slavery or anti-communist activity in the Cold War, such as WestWorld (rich people have free rein to kill and abuse park automatons until the automatons stop being slaves, find agency and fight back) or Picard. Deep Space Nine turned away from Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism overcoming a conundrum-ofhthe-week, sometimes as outside observers, sometimes as people doing the wrong things, to conflict-driven storylines. Picard was worse, turning a corner from Jean-Luc Picard arguing that "Data is a Real Boy" to complicity in a system where "we copied Data's form and built out the physical bipedal workforce because humanform is optimal" and. it's. impossible. to. reflect. on. your. world. and. do. better. when. slavery. remains. normal.
Honestly, I very much resemble a number of these remarks.
posted by k3ninho at 4:16 AM on June 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
... but I'm so good at it! Like Dirty Old Town said, I used to define myself by what I'm not and used to think I was better than people for the things I liked or disdained. I listen now, I want to know why you like a thing and what you like about it.
About a decade ago I had a job where we had an IM system and chat rooms, and made a number of good friends from nerd chats, food, books and TV/movies. I wanted to talk to people about the music they were listening to while working, so I opened a #NowPlaying room and it got above-zero members and chat -- up until a few people came in and created a running joke replying "Classic." to tedious cis-het establishment pop hits. I couldn't really replace my disdain with "person X things this is a classic."
I do like the notion that books/tv/movies/music and all art should make us consider our place in the cosmos and help us be better people, from soap operas that let you practice feeling big feelings about mundane life-events to stunning mind-expanding things after which you feel different. It's scary, but change is inevitable, so learn to change well.
In brief:
- Lin-Manuel Miranda might be a fine poet but the stage enunciation turns Hamilton into rapping for and by white people. It happens, too, in the Scuttlebutt thing they shoe-horned into cover-band-remake Little Mermaid.
- Joss Whedon's "saviour little girls" are important to the people who needed a reminder against the prevailing culture, but it's one note, my man, and it's outdated and Whedon's own words explain how horrible he was while making those shows.
- JJ Abrams makes bullshit mysteries, plus his renakes are like a poor cover band reminding you that you want to be listening to a better act: I joked before seeing Star Trek: Into Darkness that he was remaking Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan so we knew who the baddie would be. [Yawn]
- Christopher Nolan telegraphs all the plot points like he's Chekhov's Quartermaster. Maybe it's storytelling prestige and we're to marvel at the threads he weaves in the story, but I don't care for it.
- Hans Zimmer -- something we'll call the Zimmer Frame plays his music at 66% speed. If you play it at 120-150% speed, it's forgettable Romantic-era classical music or John Williams pastiche. I avoid movies he's involved in and can't recall a famous Zimmer theme -- "bwaaaAAAAAaaarp" doesn't count -- like people recall John Williams themes.
- Star Trek writing that has characters do the least-worst options with the excuse "we had no choice." That's poor storytelling, you might write the macguffin that caused this so that it has some extra layers that catch people out wanting outcome A and being forced to do bad things B/C/D to get there.
- Arguing with people about Star Wars -- you're in a cinema for escapism, that's what it is, so don't worry about things making sense and don't argue about it to make it make sense. This is the same obsession that brought about this suggestion that all the Pixar films fit into one continuity, please keep that navel-gazing w_nk to the gate-keeping insiders-vs-outsiders communities that die out from infighting.
- USA culture that's twisted because it can't deal with the legacy of slavery or anti-communist activity in the Cold War, such as WestWorld (rich people have free rein to kill and abuse park automatons until the automatons stop being slaves, find agency and fight back) or Picard. Deep Space Nine turned away from Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism overcoming a conundrum-ofhthe-week, sometimes as outside observers, sometimes as people doing the wrong things, to conflict-driven storylines. Picard was worse, turning a corner from Jean-Luc Picard arguing that "Data is a Real Boy" to complicity in a system where "we copied Data's form and built out the physical bipedal workforce because humanform is optimal" and. it's. impossible. to. reflect. on. your. world. and. do. better. when. slavery. remains. normal.
Honestly, I very much resemble a number of these remarks.
posted by k3ninho at 4:16 AM on June 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'm sure I'm missing some, let me know which ones!
That sounds like a challenge! What, you don't like Mambo Number 5?
Since you included 2001, you can also include Butterfly by Crazy Town, another track that was inescapable at the time, and still makes teeth grind today.
I personally don't mind Smooth by Santana, but man oh man, was that overplayed.
I'm still okay with U2, but it's very important to "the kids today" to use them as an example of what you're not supposed to like, so we should note that "Beautiful Day" falls into your time period, too.
posted by gimonca at 6:01 AM on June 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
That sounds like a challenge! What, you don't like Mambo Number 5?
Since you included 2001, you can also include Butterfly by Crazy Town, another track that was inescapable at the time, and still makes teeth grind today.
I personally don't mind Smooth by Santana, but man oh man, was that overplayed.
I'm still okay with U2, but it's very important to "the kids today" to use them as an example of what you're not supposed to like, so we should note that "Beautiful Day" falls into your time period, too.
posted by gimonca at 6:01 AM on June 18, 2023 [2 favorites]
AAAH AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH MAKE IT STOP
Schnell! Schnell! Antidote!
....and chaser
posted by flabdablet at 6:34 AM on June 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
Schnell! Schnell! Antidote!
....and chaser
posted by flabdablet at 6:34 AM on June 18, 2023 [1 favorite]
The phrase “the ways in which” drives me up the dang wall, anywhere “how” would have sufficed.
posted by aspersioncast at 8:46 PM on June 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by aspersioncast at 8:46 PM on June 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
If we're doing phrases now, "gets on my goat" and "gets up my goat" really get my goat.
That and "step foot". Goddamn it, people! It's "step" or "set foot". Pick one. Don't just mash them up.
posted by flabdablet at 11:52 PM on June 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
That and "step foot". Goddamn it, people! It's "step" or "set foot". Pick one. Don't just mash them up.
posted by flabdablet at 11:52 PM on June 19, 2023 [4 favorites]
Ooh, I thought of another language one. People who order in a restaurant by saying, "I'll do the Reuben sandwich." Oh, you're going to DO a sandwich? How are you going to DO that sandwich?
(This also applies to people ordering things besides Reuben sandwiches.)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:04 AM on June 20, 2023 [3 favorites]
(This also applies to people ordering things besides Reuben sandwiches.)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:04 AM on June 20, 2023 [3 favorites]
How are you going to DO that sandwich?
Possibly in much the same way as I'd go the Reuben sandwich.
posted by flabdablet at 2:02 AM on June 20, 2023 [2 favorites]
Possibly in much the same way as I'd go the Reuben sandwich.
posted by flabdablet at 2:02 AM on June 20, 2023 [2 favorites]
There are no words for how much I hate Lin Manuel Miranda. I mean, not personally. He seems like a nice guy and does a lot of charity and outreach. But I just hate his entire public persona. Hes so smug and smirky and wink-winky and he thinks he's just the most adorable and clever and charming thing ever and oh GOD I hate 99% of everything he's done. Except Coco. Coco is wonderful. But everything else is SO ANNOYING. Its to the point where I hear a song or see a movie and think god this is irritating - I bet Lin Manuel Miranda had a part in it. And then OF COURSE HE DID. Not that that's a surprise because he has a part in everything! Every movie. Every play. Every freaking commercial. Hes just everywhere and it makes me want to scream!
How profoundly bad was he in the Golden Compass show? BEYOND WORDS BAD. He can't act. He can't sing. Maybe he can rap but he does it in such an irritating way, I cant stand to listen to it. Shut up, Hamilton.
WOOO do I hate Lin Manuel Miranda.
posted by silverstatue at 7:26 AM on June 20, 2023 [4 favorites]
How profoundly bad was he in the Golden Compass show? BEYOND WORDS BAD. He can't act. He can't sing. Maybe he can rap but he does it in such an irritating way, I cant stand to listen to it. Shut up, Hamilton.
WOOO do I hate Lin Manuel Miranda.
posted by silverstatue at 7:26 AM on June 20, 2023 [4 favorites]
(silverstatue - I don't think Lin had anything to do with Coco.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:25 AM on June 20, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:25 AM on June 20, 2023 [2 favorites]
That and "step foot". Goddamn it, people! It's "step" or "set foot". Pick one. Don't just mash them up.
I recently had to call my dermatologist's office. The "waiting on hold" voice over talked about their privacy policy and urged me to "be rest assured" that they were taking all necessary steps to safeguard my privacy. No, I will either "be assured" or I will "rest assured" of that, but I will not "be rest assured".
Also, when did the thing you used to stop a car become "breaks"? I am seeing that ALL THE TIME now (including, a few months ago, a sitting congressperson urging people to "pump the breaks" on something) and I see red every single time I see it.
posted by hanov3r at 9:20 AM on June 20, 2023 [10 favorites]
I recently had to call my dermatologist's office. The "waiting on hold" voice over talked about their privacy policy and urged me to "be rest assured" that they were taking all necessary steps to safeguard my privacy. No, I will either "be assured" or I will "rest assured" of that, but I will not "be rest assured".
Also, when did the thing you used to stop a car become "breaks"? I am seeing that ALL THE TIME now (including, a few months ago, a sitting congressperson urging people to "pump the breaks" on something) and I see red every single time I see it.
posted by hanov3r at 9:20 AM on June 20, 2023 [10 favorites]
Be rest assured I will not step foot in that dermatologist's office, and the reason being is the ways in which the on hold message gets up my goat in terms of walking the talk.
posted by flabdablet at 9:52 AM on June 20, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 9:52 AM on June 20, 2023 [3 favorites]
And if you think I need to pump the breaks on that reaction you have another thing coming.
posted by flabdablet at 9:55 AM on June 20, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 9:55 AM on June 20, 2023 [2 favorites]
My only problem with 'gifted' as verb is it replaces 'bestow upon a gift' clause which sounds fancy!
Clark's boss bestowed upon him a membership to a 'Jelly of the Month' club" vs "George gifted his coworkers donations in their name to the 'Human Fund'.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:54 PM on June 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
Clark's boss bestowed upon him a membership to a 'Jelly of the Month' club" vs "George gifted his coworkers donations in their name to the 'Human Fund'.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:54 PM on June 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
I cannot stand clickbaity anything, but I've been noticing how we see more clickbaity titles more than ever.
In the NYTimes OpEd section, the headline "Is Taylor Swift Underpaid?" (By Paul Krug)
Uh, please. As someone who takes everything literally, this stuff drives me nuts!!!
Now that I'm pissing on the NYTimes (which I know they are sh*t...)
How about their really uneven recipes in their cooking section?
I remember the worst pancakes recipe by Sam Sifton. This recipe was inedible!
I found an amazing pancake recipe by Kenji Alt Lopez on a different website but since he contributes to the NYTimes, it would be nice to just have good, consistent recipes like this one. But, no.
Also, the lack of diverse contributors in general for a long time. I don't want badly written recipes made by people with no experience in certain food traditions.
posted by AnyUsernameWillDo at 1:20 PM on June 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
In the NYTimes OpEd section, the headline "Is Taylor Swift Underpaid?" (By Paul Krug)
Uh, please. As someone who takes everything literally, this stuff drives me nuts!!!
Now that I'm pissing on the NYTimes (which I know they are sh*t...)
How about their really uneven recipes in their cooking section?
I remember the worst pancakes recipe by Sam Sifton. This recipe was inedible!
I found an amazing pancake recipe by Kenji Alt Lopez on a different website but since he contributes to the NYTimes, it would be nice to just have good, consistent recipes like this one. But, no.
Also, the lack of diverse contributors in general for a long time. I don't want badly written recipes made by people with no experience in certain food traditions.
posted by AnyUsernameWillDo at 1:20 PM on June 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
silverstatue, not Coco, but maybe Moana, or Encanto?
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:22 PM on June 20, 2023
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:22 PM on June 20, 2023
The movie, “Scent of a Woman”. I can just imagine a pitch meeting, it’s about a blind veteran who’s having one big weekend before he kills himself. It’s not impressing anyone, until they say, Al Pacino! A blind man , but he has those Al Pacino eyes! And he’s driving a car! And dancing a tango!
posted by coldhotel at 6:03 PM on June 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by coldhotel at 6:03 PM on June 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
The pretentious nouning of verbs, verbing of nouns, nouning of adjectives, etc. I see it a lot lately in crafting communities. The thing you make is now "a make," the thing you bake is "a bake," and something that was once content to be a garment or an article of clothing is now "a wearable."
I've complained about baby talk before, but it seems like overnight stuffed animals became "plushies," which sounds like overweight furries. "Kiddo" and "doggo" and their variants and relatives should be sprinkled on for occasional flavor, not used every single time you refer to a child or a dog.
Stop calling women "females." Are you trying to be a Ferengi or something?
That one asshole who can't hold in their, "Well, actually, Frankenstein was the doctor's name" can go shut their tongue in a drawer. Victor Frankenstein never finished medical school, and the man he created had as much right to use the family name as a child of his loins would have.
The Galactic Starcruiser is not a "Star Wars hotel." Misinformation like that is part of the reason it's closing down - of course people are going to think it couldn't possibly be worth the cost if they think all they're getting is a hotel room.
Babylon 5 was worth a hundred Deep Space Nines.
Sherlock Holmes has always been aroace. "A Scandal in Bohemia" corroborates that rather than contradicting it.
Horror movies without jump scares and/or gore are still horror movies.
I still get irrationally annoyed at any mention of Jurassic Park, for the simple reason that the entire small town where I grew up pronounced it "Jurasstic Park." I've never been able to figure out why.
Jennifer Rush's recording of "The Power of Love" blows Celine Dion's out of the water, not that that's hard to do. While I'm on the subject, it's incredibly annoying when people refer to a song as being "by" the most recent/famous person to record it rather than the person/people who actually composed it. It's fine if you're specifically referring to that recording, but that's getting rarer and rarer.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:36 PM on June 20, 2023 [6 favorites]
I've complained about baby talk before, but it seems like overnight stuffed animals became "plushies," which sounds like overweight furries. "Kiddo" and "doggo" and their variants and relatives should be sprinkled on for occasional flavor, not used every single time you refer to a child or a dog.
Stop calling women "females." Are you trying to be a Ferengi or something?
That one asshole who can't hold in their, "Well, actually, Frankenstein was the doctor's name" can go shut their tongue in a drawer. Victor Frankenstein never finished medical school, and the man he created had as much right to use the family name as a child of his loins would have.
The Galactic Starcruiser is not a "Star Wars hotel." Misinformation like that is part of the reason it's closing down - of course people are going to think it couldn't possibly be worth the cost if they think all they're getting is a hotel room.
Babylon 5 was worth a hundred Deep Space Nines.
Sherlock Holmes has always been aroace. "A Scandal in Bohemia" corroborates that rather than contradicting it.
Horror movies without jump scares and/or gore are still horror movies.
I still get irrationally annoyed at any mention of Jurassic Park, for the simple reason that the entire small town where I grew up pronounced it "Jurasstic Park." I've never been able to figure out why.
Jennifer Rush's recording of "The Power of Love" blows Celine Dion's out of the water, not that that's hard to do. While I'm on the subject, it's incredibly annoying when people refer to a song as being "by" the most recent/famous person to record it rather than the person/people who actually composed it. It's fine if you're specifically referring to that recording, but that's getting rarer and rarer.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:36 PM on June 20, 2023 [6 favorites]
Also "adult beverage." I am an adult. Anything I drink is an adult beverage, from apple juice to Zombie.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:04 PM on June 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:04 PM on June 20, 2023 [1 favorite]
I still get irrationally annoyed at any mention of Jurassic Park, for the simple reason that the entire small town where I grew up pronounced it "Jurasstic Park." I've never been able to figure out why.
Have you aksed them? There might be some pacific reason.
posted by flabdablet at 9:06 PM on June 20, 2023 [4 favorites]
Have you aksed them? There might be some pacific reason.
posted by flabdablet at 9:06 PM on June 20, 2023 [4 favorites]
Iris Gambol and EmpressCallipygos, you're right! LMM didnt work on Coco! Good, now I can hate him 100% :)
posted by silverstatue at 7:17 AM on June 21, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by silverstatue at 7:17 AM on June 21, 2023 [3 favorites]
silverstatue: Maybe he can rap but he does it in such an irritating way, I cant stand to listen to it. Shut up, Hamilton.
I totes* feel the samilton / Shame I can't like this more than once / got the same yuck in this yum / here ends Lin-Manual Memorandum.
*: I've become accustomed to this abuse of the language I grew up with, please forgive my part in this atrocity.
posted by k3ninho at 10:31 AM on June 21, 2023 [1 favorite]
I totes* feel the samilton / Shame I can't like this more than once / got the same yuck in this yum / here ends Lin-Manual Memorandum.
*: I've become accustomed to this abuse of the language I grew up with, please forgive my part in this atrocity.
posted by k3ninho at 10:31 AM on June 21, 2023 [1 favorite]
The funny thing is LMM played an annoying rapping roommate on House, MD for a couple episodes in season 6 (2009.) The part was clearly written to portray him as an irritating schmuck and Dr. House reacts as such. Come 2015 and LMM is doing Hamilton...subject matter aside, it's really not all that different from his part in House, yet it gets widespread critical acclaim! What a world. (I'll clarify that I don't carry any personal animus towards LMM, I just don't want to hear him sing or rap.)
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 4:08 PM on June 21, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 4:08 PM on June 21, 2023 [2 favorites]
Yeah, the NY Times needs to stop having op-ed positions be lifetime tenure. So many bad opinions! Or folks who just ran out of things to say but can't give up the megaphone.
I can't stand "Hey There Delilah" ever since it was used in a presentation at an employee onboarding and I had to listen to the whole song. It is now impossible to think about anything besides making that song stop when I hear it.
posted by momus_window at 4:09 PM on June 21, 2023 [5 favorites]
I can't stand "Hey There Delilah" ever since it was used in a presentation at an employee onboarding and I had to listen to the whole song. It is now impossible to think about anything besides making that song stop when I hear it.
posted by momus_window at 4:09 PM on June 21, 2023 [5 favorites]
Stop calling women "females." Are you trying to be a Ferengi or something?
I regard this as an early warning system and therefore want anyone who does this to continue.
posted by momus_window at 4:10 PM on June 21, 2023 [9 favorites]
I regard this as an early warning system and therefore want anyone who does this to continue.
posted by momus_window at 4:10 PM on June 21, 2023 [9 favorites]
I still get irrationally annoyed at any mention of Jurassic Park
How about Youbetyurassic Park?
posted by kirkaracha at 4:34 PM on June 22, 2023
How about Youbetyurassic Park?
posted by kirkaracha at 4:34 PM on June 22, 2023
The pretentious nouning of verbs, verbing of nouns, nouning of adjectives, etc.
"Ask" as a noun. We already have "request."
posted by kirkaracha at 4:35 PM on June 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
"Ask" as a noun. We already have "request."
posted by kirkaracha at 4:35 PM on June 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
"Have a nice/good day"
"Have a good one." A good what? If you mean "day," why not just say "day?" You're not saving any syllables.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:41 PM on June 22, 2023
"Have a good one." A good what? If you mean "day," why not just say "day?" You're not saving any syllables.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:41 PM on June 22, 2023
But you are saving having to think about whether it's day or night or whatever. Which over the course of several interactions adds up to BIG SAVINGS!
posted by aubilenon at 4:48 PM on June 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by aubilenon at 4:48 PM on June 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
Really hating “You’re doing this wrong” and “I was today years old” posts on social media where some claims their new way of doing something or new use for an existing thing is the “correct” way. Sure you can unfold that white cardboard Chinese food takeout container and use it as a plate, but that’s not what it was designed for.
posted by Ranucci at 5:09 PM on June 22, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by Ranucci at 5:09 PM on June 22, 2023 [8 favorites]
I'm currently watching DARK, which is a lot of fun in a time travel taken seriously and seriously imagined sort of way. One thing it does a lot is get into people's dreams. Nothing wrong with that but it's how the bad ones end -- the nightmares -- with the cliche of the character suddenly snapping awake and sitting up in bed.
This doesn't happen in my experience. People don't shock themselves awake into an almost sitting position. The nightmare climaxes. They might twitch a bit, maybe kick or squirm. But generally they just open their eyes, maybe take a deep breath.
I'm really tired of this [DON'T CLICK THE LINK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE NIGHTMARISH STUFF] cliche.
posted by philip-random at 8:14 PM on June 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
This doesn't happen in my experience. People don't shock themselves awake into an almost sitting position. The nightmare climaxes. They might twitch a bit, maybe kick or squirm. But generally they just open their eyes, maybe take a deep breath.
I'm really tired of this [DON'T CLICK THE LINK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE NIGHTMARISH STUFF] cliche.
posted by philip-random at 8:14 PM on June 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
Apparently I don’t think very highly of toasted subs, either.
They’re still not as bad as football.
Or mincemeat.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:12 PM on June 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
They’re still not as bad as football.
Or mincemeat.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:12 PM on June 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
I am very late but I would like to toss one on the pile of linguistic loathing:
"based off of"
My rage about this is irrational but it is real.
(I also hate the words upcycle, staycation, and glamping.)
posted by verbminx at 8:09 PM on June 23, 2023 [5 favorites]
"based off of"
My rage about this is irrational but it is real.
(I also hate the words upcycle, staycation, and glamping.)
posted by verbminx at 8:09 PM on June 23, 2023 [5 favorites]
Stop calling women "females."
I'm in Australia for a few weeks and here, most public facilities are not only gender-specific, they're apparently gendered themselves? Signs indicate MALE TOILETS and FEMALE TOILETS.
This is merely an observation, not any kind of rant.
posted by tangerine at 12:50 AM on June 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
I'm in Australia for a few weeks and here, most public facilities are not only gender-specific, they're apparently gendered themselves? Signs indicate MALE TOILETS and FEMALE TOILETS.
This is merely an observation, not any kind of rant.
posted by tangerine at 12:50 AM on June 24, 2023 [4 favorites]
oh uhhh I loathe the films of Sam Mendes, except Skyfall was all right.
posted by infinitewindow at 12:16 PM on June 30, 2023
posted by infinitewindow at 12:16 PM on June 30, 2023
I was just reminded of this today: Frank Gehry, you and your goddamned metal-walled swoopy space-wasting nonsense are on notice.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:36 PM on June 30, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:36 PM on June 30, 2023 [2 favorites]
CTRL+F Bladerunner got me nothing, so here I am to say it: Bladerunner. That grim scourge of a joke of a film that ruined so many of my college movie nights. DOES IT EVER STOP RAINING. NO. NO IT DOES NOT.
posted by janepanic at 9:31 AM on July 8, 2023
posted by janepanic at 9:31 AM on July 8, 2023
oh! that bizarre show about Catherine the Great, "the Great"? So bad. I was so excited for it, I think I bought the first season, and it was just so stupid. Stupid and a WASTE! Catherine's real story is incredibly interesting and surprising and sexy and even funny -- but the nonsense they've come up with is just dumb.
posted by fingersandtoes at 4:57 PM on July 9, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 4:57 PM on July 9, 2023 [2 favorites]
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I stuck with it for a few series, then gave up for a few series, then resumed it - and noticed that I didn't need to catch up on any plot details for it to make (Walking Dead) 'sense', which wasn't a good sign. Also got my account banned on a big, fanatical Walking Dead online forum because I - politely - asked how the walkers were still managing to function months or years on, when dehydration should have gradually incapacitated and then killed them over a period of days or weeks. But, hey ho, that seemed to upset a lot of people.
+ + + + +
In non-venting mode, I've been in Worcestershire, my childhood county, for a while now. This is to wrap up historical/legacy administration, see a few friends, and do a bit research-based reading in relatively fresh air away from big cities. Also, summer village shows and fayres, orchards, and the other usual trappings of this county.
This includes my-now local pub, The Mug House, which has a bit of a history. When I say 'local' it's a good walk away, but this is along pleasant lanes and walkways with hardly any traffic, so not an issue. The pub itself, overlooking farmland, has the typical indoor and outdoor seating for rural pubs around here (at least, those which haven't been turned into gastropubs). Speaking of food, here it's the usual pub grub: ploughman's lunch, cheese salad rolls, ham egg and chips, pork scratchings; nothing modern, but portions are substantive.
It's also close - very close - to the village church and, technically, sits on consecrated ground. I've already met the church landlady and the pub vicar (is that the right way round? doesn't matter); both nice people, as are the bar staff.
The customers seem to fit the usual rural Worcestershire pub types: lunchtime regulars, evening regulars, all day regulars, farmers who arrive by tractor and smell of whatever they've been doing, sweaty cyclists, hikers, horse riders who tie up at the gate, tourists from all over (had a chat with a pleasant family from Detroit who did not believe I'd eaten in their local pizza place until I pulled out a picture from Flickr), the pig lady (her: "I am the pig lady." - no other information was forthcoming), a poacher, attendees of events at the aforementioned church (me to a downcast man in a sombre suit, quietly drinking a whisky: "funeral service?" him: "no, wedding. I'm the groom." me, talking on autopilot: "I'm sorry for your loss."), two policemen who everyone side-eyed with suspicion (the poacher immediately left), thirsty morris dancers, an opportunistic trampoline salesman (no-one wanted one), a old man claiming to be the anti-Christ (his card was declined when he bought a pint so I guess the anti-Christ has a poor line of credit), a women's cricket eleven with a splendidly filthy team song ("he was stiffer than middle stump" was the cleanest line), someone selling "cupcake roulette" (no, I don't know either), a swan detective, a piano tuner with poor hearing ("I thinks me tinnitus be back ... ah, no, that be the church bells."), big cat hunters who had "heard rumours", lost motorists (him: "which way is it to Warwick?" pub regular: "ah, you don't want to go there"), a man walking a goat who I've now passed several times on nearby lanes, a local musician of some repute who didn't get a second glance from anyone, organisers of a village show discussing the ethics of rigging the tombola so the now-disgraced previous organiser couldn't win anything, someone researching pork scratchings (he ate several bags), a quartet of metal detector enthusiasts eyeing up the adjoining field, two students eyeing up the barmaid, the barmaid's bodybuilding boyfriend flexing his muscles in the sightline of the aforementioned students, ghost hunters (this is apparently the most haunted pub in Worcestershire - maybe they'll see a walker from the Walking Dead, maybe not), oh and me I guess.
Alas, there is no pub cat here, but I did see one wander over from the little cottage accommodation on the other side of the road, so there's that. And the air is clean here (when there aren't farmers upwind).
This place will do, for a while longer.
posted by Wordshore at 7:31 AM on June 10, 2023 [37 favorites]