Metatalktail Hour: Unsolicited advice, please

February 4, 2023 2:14 AM

Happy weekend, everyone! If you're a Mefite, you've probably found a lot of valuable tips on the site, especially in Ask Metafilter, but those threads are usually focusing on a specific problem or situation. Today I'd like to ask you to share your random tips and tricks about anything at all (that's fit to print!). If it's something you've found handy or helpful, if it makes life easier, faster, neater, nicer, or just more fun, please share!

Or just tell us what's up with you these days ... but no politics, plz!

posted by taz (staff) to MetaFilter-Related at 2:14 AM (165 comments total)

If you’re dissatisfied by the ratio of cookie nugs to ice cream in chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, you can get vanilla ice cream, egg-free cookie nuggets (they’re in the refrigerator section next to the slice-and-bakes), and a chocolate bar and then mix them together. I recommend finely chopping a few of the nuggets and the bar for good flavor distribution.

If you run out of milk, ice cream is a great substitute.

Keep a thing of paper towels, a screwdriver, a flash light, an all-purpose cleaner, some rags, and a box of bandaids on every floor of your house and in your car.

If you wake up hungry during the night a lot, keep a protein bar or some nuts by your bed! Keeps you from fully waking up for the trip to the kitchen, and removes some of the problem solving over “why did I wake up?”

From my mother: put things where they need to be, especially if they’re heading out of the house. I put things on top of my shoes in front of the door so I remember to take them with me. My addition: if the thing that needs to leave the house is a refrigerator or freezer item, put your keys, wallet, purse, and/or shoes in or in front of the refrigerator.

You can separate getting ready for bed and going to bed. It reduces the fight over teeth brushing, face washing, etc. if the next thing that happens is not going to bed, and it means that if people get sleepy, they don’t wake themselves up with the sleeping prep. This works for both children and adults.

Keep a thing of lollipops in your glove compartment. And a protein bar. Just stash snacks everywhere, really, like a large squirrel. Hunger makes animals of us all.
posted by punchtothehead at 2:36 AM on February 4, 2023 [27 favorites]

iPhones will let you put in emergency contacts that will be available to the person who finds your lost and locked phone so they can call someone who will let you know your phone has been found and increase your chance of being reunited with it quickly and painlessly.

- Signed someone who works in public parks and does this reasonably frequently.
posted by sciencegeek at 3:06 AM on February 4, 2023 [10 favorites]

I rely heavily on the reminder feature of Google Keep to do things that need to happen regularly. (It's free and has no ads, and can be accessed from mobile and web.) For example, change toothbrush every 3 months, dust computer fan intake every 3 weeks, claim free games on Epic Games Store every Thursday, etc. Anything you want to take care of regularly, you will get a notification on your phone and a little checkmark to tap when you've completed it to reset the recurring notification, which in my experience makes it much easier to do these kind of dull tasks. It's also perfect for things like trial memberships where you know you will be cancelling after a month; you can set the end date and then get a notification so you don't forget. I don't really use the note-taking part of the app, only the reminders.

Put a good pair of scissors in every room. All packaging is frustration-free packaging with a quality pair of scissors.

If you like keeping your fingernails short but sometimes wish they were long (e.g. for opening that infuriating little metal spout on top of the round Morton's salt package) or you just would rather not use your actual fingernails, keep some cheap palette knives or label peelers lying around. They make great artificial fingernails for all kinds of stuff, like cleaning in crevices, unsealing cardboard flaps on food boxes, getting AA/AAA batteries out of cramped spaces, etc.

A related tip: pick up a set of wooden clay modeling tools even if you never intend to touch clay. If you have an inside corner, groove, recess, etc. that you're trying to clean, wrap a paper towel around the tip of one of those and it will let you apply firm pressure that gets all the way down in the corner. Being wood it won't be too aggressive on softer materials or rip through the paper towel (as would happen if you tried that with the tip of a screwdriver or whatever.) This also works great with a little patch of Scotch-Brite if you're trying to clean in a corner, and saves your fingertips from feeling awful.
posted by Rhomboid at 3:50 AM on February 4, 2023 [7 favorites]

If you misplace your phone, you can have Google call it for you. If you have an Android device, it will ring even if the ringer is turned off.

I bought an acrylic riser thingie to place over my keyboard to keep the stupid cat off of it. Bonus, when the cat is not sitting there I can use the surface of the riser as a work space for writing in a notebook, etc. The riser is tall enough that I can fit my hands under it to type. The only downside is if I have my binder sitting on top of the riser, I can't see my keyboard at a glance if I'm having trouble finding a specific key (for some reason the backspace key is particularly elusive; I also have trouble finding the home row quickly at times.) I solved that problem by applying these little self-adhesive bumps to various keys I use a lot, so I can easily orient myself by feel.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 4:29 AM on February 4, 2023 [8 favorites]

If you rewear clothes before washing them, you can put them back on the hanger -- but with the hanger hook facing backwards as a signal that they have been worn. (Folded clothes can be put in the drawer inside out to communicate the same.)
posted by xo at 5:48 AM on February 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Put a whiteboard on your fridge. On it, list simple meals that can be made right now with the ingredients that you have on hand. Erase one if you run out of an essential ingredient. When you restock, write some new meals up.

Examples from our whiteboard: quesadilla (cheese, tortilla), curry rice+meat (pre-cooked rice in single serving containers, curry powder, yogurt, pre-cooked meat), smoothie (almond milk + frozen berries), omelet/scramble (eggs+a few chopped veggies), cheesy taters (pre-cooked mashed potatoes + melted cheese).

It's not meant to be an exhaustive list, it's meant to be a menu of possibilities so when there's very little executive function available one can just pick a thing and execute.

Also, of course, pre-cook large portions of rice, mashed potatoes, pulled pork/ground beef/chicken legs+wings etc and portion into freezable containers for staging into the freezer/fridge so you can just assemble things and microwave them

We're a household full of neurodiverse people with capabilities that vary day by day, and managing the kitchen to be more of a weekend bulk prep / weekday mix+heat+eat system makes it possible for us to feed ourselves almost all the time.

Also, keep around high fat+protein snacks (not candy) for when you can't even make a damn decision, like peanuts, or shelled sunflower seeds, or halvah, or trail mix, so you can eat a handful and not get even more hungry-stupid, and potentially recover a little brain to make a meal.
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:51 AM on February 4, 2023 [28 favorites]

Assuming everyone in your household can be trusted with knives, put this adorable magnetic box cutter in locations where you open mail, break down boxes, or any other place where you just need a sharp thing for a second.
posted by zamboni at 6:56 AM on February 4, 2023 [4 favorites]

If people in your house can't be trusted with knives, these Klever Kutters are perfect tools for opening boxes. The little tape splitter end works amazingly.

I also have a Canary knife , and it's awesome at opening up packages. Highly recommend.
posted by Sparky Buttons at 7:30 AM on February 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

The only piece of cooking advice I remember from my mom is to crack eggs one at a time into a separate dish. That way, if they are bad or there is shell, you haven't contaminated other ingredients.

Also, about clothes worn but not dirty enough for the hamper -- you can either put them on the hanger facing the opposite direction, or hang them on over-the-door hooks.
posted by NotLost at 7:34 AM on February 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

Have a pair of scissors in every room of the house.

A basin wrench is the Devil's tool. It is ill-suited for any task and will leave you angry and frustrated. Get a faucet wrench instead.

Use your calendar app to track watering, feeding and pruning times for your plants. Some plants want to be pruned in Winter, some in Spring. Make an appointment for your garden!

For goodness' sake, get a non-slip mat for your shower! A broken hip is really inconvenient.
posted by SPrintF at 8:04 AM on February 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

Save up your decent-sized cardboard boxes, and when you get to 15-25 of them, put a "Free Moving Boxes" ad on Craigslist in the free section (or on Facebook in a Buy Nothing group or a local neighborhood page). Someone will come and pick them up, they'll be grateful for them, and you won't have to worry about filling up your recycling or trash bin.
posted by Slinga at 8:04 AM on February 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

My favorite little life hack for pet owners is to alternate pet food bowls in 2 different colors each day. For us, white bowls are for morning and black are for evening. That way we can tell at a glance if the cat hasn't been fed yet or is trying to trick us into a second meal, even if our partner isn't around at the moment to ask. We have 2 white and 2 black ceramic dishes we picked up at Target for this purpose so we can run them in the dishwasher each day and always have a clean set for the next day.
posted by platinum at 9:27 AM on February 4, 2023 [11 favorites]

If weather or schedules prohibit taking your dog out for a morning walk and like me, your dogs cannot be trusted with puzzles as they eat them, get a slow feeder, put in their kibble, add water and freeze. Voila, it will take your dog 2 hours to eat and will wipe them out.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 9:54 AM on February 4, 2023 [5 favorites]

after using minty dental floss it is advisable to wash your hands well before putting in your contact lenses.
posted by supermedusa at 10:39 AM on February 4, 2023 [15 favorites]

A long time ago, a friend told me to always carry a book of stamps in my wallet. He said "you can't always anticipate when you need them, and when people ask for them, you can help". Sure as shit, every now and then people would ask me if I had a stamp (or say "I have to run to the post office to get a stamp") and I'd produce one. I became known for this at work, and as recently as 2020 before everything changed, someone asked if they could buy a stamp from me.

I think there's less and less need these days, at least, not running into as many people, so less asking for stamps. But it kind of felt like a superpower.
posted by Gorgik at 11:01 AM on February 4, 2023 [15 favorites]

The most important thing I ever learned from MF is "I'm sorry, that will not be possible"

Tip; a wooden toothpick can be used to pull back through a snagged thread in a knit item. With luck, it will be unnoticeable from the front if the loop is not too large. The toothpick can then be poised between your upper and lower chopers as you exclaim "a-yup".
posted by mightshould at 11:16 AM on February 4, 2023 [13 favorites]

Have an hourly step goal. Use this time to perform small chores or just go outside and experience the world.
posted by katmai at 12:15 PM on February 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Don't take any wooden nickels.

Keep the shiny side up and the rubber side down.

You only need two tools in life: If it doesn't move and it should, WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, duct tape.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:27 PM on February 4, 2023 [9 favorites]

If you haven't, go read Norton Juster's The Phantom Tollbooth. There's a lot of life lessons in there to take to heart. Bonus: illustrations by Jules Pfeiffer.
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:35 PM on February 4, 2023 [14 favorites]

While cutting jalepenos, always wash hands throughly before using the rest room.

Also, don't reflatten laffy taffy with a machine dough roller.
posted by clavdivs at 1:05 PM on February 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

mightshould a thing I read last year that blew me away (and a message for all):

"no" is a complete sentence
posted by supermedusa at 1:06 PM on February 4, 2023 [7 favorites]

The advice I most wish I had figured out earlier - Pay at least as much attention to someone's actions as their words; actions are more likely to be accurate.
posted by theora55 at 1:11 PM on February 4, 2023 [14 favorites]

You can make foaming hand soap for cheap by refilling a foaming hand soap dispenser with regular hand soap or shower gel diluted about 1:5 with water.
posted by drlith at 1:12 PM on February 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

should, WD-40

If you have a rusty tool or tyre lug, I recommend break- away as it is a superior lubricant
posted by clavdivs at 1:43 PM on February 4, 2023 [4 favorites]

Yeah but that's slightly less pithy from a humor standpoint...
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:04 PM on February 4, 2023

If you get shell in your eggs while breaking them, the best tool to remove it is another piece of shell. It's rough and fine-edged and the broken piece will not slip off of it.
posted by Miko at 2:10 PM on February 4, 2023 [10 favorites]

Storing your onions in the fridge will keep your eyes dry when cutting them.
posted by Thella at 2:11 PM on February 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Never board an elevator with an enemy, or with a full bladder.
posted by armeowda at 2:18 PM on February 4, 2023 [7 favorites]

If you need to send flowers to someone far away, don't order them from a flower service. Google for well reviewed florists in their area and then call them directly.

Tell them that you need delivery at x address on x date, and tell them what your total budget is. Then you can be as specific or general as you want: occasion, favorite colors, vase vs bouquet, etc. It's better to be a little looser with your guidance: ask for whatever they have in season, or what they would recommend. You're guaranteed to get a much better quality gift delivered than anything you'd order online, and better value for your money as well.

I am a flower idiot and I this is how I've tricked my distant loved ones into thinking I'm good at flowers for years.

Also, if you're traveling into someplace on short notice, like if your grandma breaks a hip for instance and you need to visit, you can do a pickup order. Map a florist on your route, or near the airport if you're flying in, and call in a pickup order for when you arrive. Then you can be the distant grandkid who shows up with some distracting, pretty flowers instead of the distant grandkid who doesn't call enough, etc.

tl;dr Don't waste your money on FTD/Teleflora, etc.
posted by phunniemee at 2:23 PM on February 4, 2023 [29 favorites]

You don't need to fill your biggest pot of water to boil noodles, and you especially don't need to try and bring that huge pot of water to boil on your smallest burner.
posted by Carillon at 2:26 PM on February 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

Always check for toilet paper first.
posted by Splunge at 2:38 PM on February 4, 2023 [15 favorites]

Whereever possible, automate your savings and bill payments - and even better, whereever possible, do it on a WEEKLY basis instead of monthly.

If you automate this you will NEVER forget to make a payment to things, and if you go with the weekly payment, it softens the impact ("yikes, the credit card is $250 a month" vs. "oh, it's only $62.50 a week, that's not bad"). Even better, you could end up tricking yourself into upping the payment-per-week and getting ahead of yourself a little ("Eh, I can up that $62.50 a week to $65 easy").
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:01 PM on February 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

WD40 is a terrible terrible lubricant. It’s fine to unstuck things (though proper penetrating oil is better, and heat or force are often quicker) but it’s actually better as a cleaner to keep moisture out of things like electrical contacts, and it is a superb solvent to clean machine grease off hands and out of fingernails.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 3:21 PM on February 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

If I do get eggshell in the bowl, I use my finger tips. If it sinks into the white adhering to the bowl, I was a ker-plunk stick.

I crack about 300 eggs a week.

Seriously, break a way on rusty stuff is best.
It lossens the threads quicker.

WD40 is good for door tracks, lighting the grill or a fine spritzer for the drone, but.
posted by clavdivs at 3:29 PM on February 4, 2023

WD40 ... is a superb solvent to clean machine grease off hands and out of fingernails

Although its lingering smell is almost worse than what it's cleaning out.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:29 PM on February 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

...what Fiasco said.
posted by clavdivs at 3:30 PM on February 4, 2023

If I do get eggshell in the bowl, I use my finger tips

I use another piece of eggshell
posted by knapah at 3:48 PM on February 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

I use duct tape!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:04 PM on February 4, 2023 [20 favorites]

If you want to get back into writing longhand (you know for journals or letters or whathaveyou) and but keep finding yourself just not doing that, try fountain pens. I thought they were going to be some expensive gadget but they aren't! Decent ones price can be found for under $10, and they really have upped my journal writing usage. (Warning though, ink is addictive.)
posted by aspo at 4:07 PM on February 4, 2023 [4 favorites]

What clavdivs said Fiasco said.

Also, squirt WD-40 on big super adhesive price tags so as not to damage fragile surfaces like, say, paperback book covers or hardcover dust jackets
posted by y2karl at 4:24 PM on February 4, 2023

Most unexpectedly useful item during my impromptu indoor campout: rechargeable LED closet lights. In normal times, they're quite good for lighting up closets where no light was installed. When the power goes out, they're long portable wands of light that are around and mostly charged because of their primary job. A+.
posted by mersen at 5:03 PM on February 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

I use another piece of eggshell.
for home, I agree. Though I only use fingers if on top, esp. a yoke. I've won money that way. Though, I don't like risking the egg shell breaking as it's a faster process, sure, some cooks crack two at a time but I studied the percussion technique of John Bonham and crack one and half at a time. This involves two eggs in one hand, one in the other. crack one, move shell to other hand while cracking second. crack third as other hand teaches for two more.


Oh, 1990s Ether laden carburetor cleaner in can, like aqua net for a Holly 4 barrel and 7 times more volitional.
This stuff would clean almost anything.
jebus, I'm chatty, this is rare. like a lot of folks, I got some really bad news about a friend, and not to dwell on it but last night, at -7 below zero that's in Fahrenheit I felt like going with the 1990s shoulder holster either laden carburetor cleaner and starting a bonfire in one of our three fire pits and I say we as more like I because my downstairs neighbor died two months ago.
most likely it's just a matter of becoming old, everywhere, and almost every sense of the word. for example a customer wanted a set of Sonny's. and I do Sonny's well. so when it's plat-ted,
put it up in the window, I said
Kilroy was here unquote.
now that's getting old.
and then I read this.

and take small comfort that in some small aspect this is "living on".
I have a new realization of the cracking of the 🥚
posted by clavdivs at 5:09 PM on February 4, 2023 [9 favorites]

oh and watched hells kitchen last night which is my work place nightmare reality show.
g, night Karl.
posted by clavdivs at 5:10 PM on February 4, 2023

Seriously, break a way on rusty stuff is best.

Sea Foam Deep Creep. Weird name, wizard product.

Kroil is also good, and can be used as a cutting fluid although Tap Magic is usually better.

To stop things from rusting in the first place, Boeshield T-9.
posted by aramaic at 5:40 PM on February 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

Storing your onions in the fridge will keep your eyes dry when cutting them.

Okay fine, but only whole, uncut onions. Don't keep cut onions in your refrigerator. If you have some raw onion left over after cooking, consider it a cost of doing business and throw it out. Onions are cheap. Fats (butter, cheese, etc) are expensive and fats absorb odors. All it takes is a slightly suboptimal storage container or a forgotten onion to ruin all your lovely butter and cheese and it's not worth it.
posted by HotToddy at 5:44 PM on February 4, 2023 [7 favorites]

In the unlikely event you ever want to, Boeshield will completely remove Swedish finish from hardwood floors.
posted by jamjam at 5:48 PM on February 4, 2023

Creativity and ingenuity alone are not substitutes for a profound lack of resources.

I have a running joke with a (soon to be former) colleague that my Ted talk on this topic as it pertains to our field would be called “in defense of boxes.” Think about it— boxes come in all shapes and sizes, they are customizable to individual situations, they keep chaotic situations organized. Boxes kind of rule. Anyone telling you to “think outside the box” has no idea what the conditions on the ground look like and is probably assuming you’re an oaf who hasn’t already applied all their creativity already. The problem is not that the box constrains your thinking, the problem is not having access to a vast array of boxes that can be tailored to your needs.

I’m in healthcare, where it turns out ingenuity is a piss-poor substitute for actually having enough staff to provide safe care, but the principle is widely applicable.
posted by I am a Sock, I am an Island at 6:12 PM on February 4, 2023 [18 favorites]

Don't preheat your oven. It is a waste of resources. If you must, get a general idea of how long it takes your oven to reach the desired temp. For most recipes, it doesn't matter. Use an electric hot plate to simmer soups rather than your gas stove top.

If you have a sudden craving for sweets, have a big drink of water. Sometimes dehydration makes it hard for sugars you already have in your digestive tract, to get into your bloodstream. (Don't tell the Snickers people I said this.)

Canned fish, mackrel and even salmon, are cheaper than Fancy Feast. Use a pint jar to store the rest of the canned fish in your fridge.

Keep emergency rations in your car, (cans with rip tops, power bars, jerky, dried fruit,) and survival blanket, and jacket, gloves, etc. Keep gloves in with your car jack, and a pancho, and a forehead flashlight. Keep extra reading glasses, in your glove box, in a closed section of your purse, or courier bag. Keep a bottle opener in your glove box, along with a screwdriver, and a knife, or leatherman.
posted by Oyéah at 6:52 PM on February 4, 2023 [7 favorites]

WD-40 (water displacement formula 40) was developed initially to keep the fog from condensing on the stainless steel skin of Atlas ICBMs at Vandenberg Air Force Base on the California Coast. As people have noted, there are better lubricants for nearly every application than WD-40.

I am very excited because I am getting a new job. I am staying in the federal government, but in a different department, working with people that I have admired from afar for a long time. AND I get a promotion, AND I still don't have to be a supervisor. I honestly never thought that I would leave the agency that I work for, and I still deeply believe in its mission, but there is only so long that you can spend in a deeply dysfunctional system before it is time to move on. The funny thing is just how LONG the whole process is. I put in the application in September, interviewed over the course of November, December, and January, and now I sit back and wait for the background check to complete (1-3 months) and then finally I put in my notice, which then means another 30 days, so first day is probably April or May. I am now figuring out how to best make sure that things are ready for my transition while not actually telling people that I am leaving. It's kinda weird.

Also, we have real snow and I have been skiing a lot, which is also pretty excellent. It'll probably all melt in a week, but I love to spend time on skis, so yay.
posted by sock_full_of_rocks at 7:18 PM on February 4, 2023 [7 favorites]

If you have some raw onion left over after cooking, consider it a cost of doing business and throw it out.

My mom would always chop the whole onion, use what she needed for the meal and store the rest in a Tupperware bowl that was always kept in the freezer. It was like perpetual chopped onions, ready to cook.
posted by bendy at 7:35 PM on February 4, 2023 [7 favorites]

If you have some raw onion left over after cooking, consider it a cost of doing business and throw it out.

I've found that putting chopped onion in your fridge is a bad deal no matter what you do, but if you have an intact piece of a whole onion leftover, you can just wrap that in plastic wrap, stick it in a zip lock bag, and put in your fridge without a problem.
posted by mollweide at 7:59 PM on February 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Pro tips for you sewing hobbyists: do not drop a pattern weight on your instep. Also, if you’re working on light-colored fabric and accidentally stab yourself with a pin, stop sewing.
posted by Melismata at 8:01 PM on February 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

boxes come in all shapes

Mainly cuboid
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:13 PM on February 4, 2023 [5 favorites]

If it moves and it shouldn't, try weaponry. If it doesn't move and it should, try necromancy.
posted by biogeo at 8:16 PM on February 4, 2023 [38 favorites]

Also, I'm amused that my throwaway WD-40 joke has generated so many earnest corrective responses. (Not that they're wrong!)

~~~~~~~~~~

I get a promotion, AND I still don't have to be a supervisor.

That is the absolute best kind of promotion!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:18 PM on February 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

The bestest, most tried and true thing I've found is that, when using any sort of disposable razor (the dumb kind with five to seven blades in the head that you swap out when they get dull), you can get months out of each one simply by sharpening it on your arm. Run it along the inside of your forearm the opposite direction you normally use it to shave. It's the same basic idea as sharpening a straight razor on leather. Just wet your arm (works great if you shave in the shower), run the razor along the inside of your arm three or four times, and voila, your razor is sharp again. Repeat as needed, until it just won't get sharp anymore.

That, and shaving cream? Piffle. Conditioner works just fine.

Now, having dispensed my old man knowledge, if you'll excuse me, I need to hike up my pants to my belly button and watch some Matlock.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:31 PM on February 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

Don't forget the onion on your belt.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:47 PM on February 4, 2023 [4 favorites]

Have a headlamp for power outages, nothing like hands free light. You can also strop a knife on your denim jeans covered thigh. You store onions in old panty-hose, drop one in, tie a know and put the next on top, repeat, hang from rafters.
posted by zengargoyle at 8:50 PM on February 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Put a good pair of scissors in every room. All packaging is frustration-free packaging with a quality pair of scissors.

Don't use scissors on frustrating packaging. Frustrating packaging is good for maintaining hand strength.
posted by aniola at 9:33 PM on February 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

It is easier to get your kid to understand and forgive you for your personal failings than it is to have a healthy relationship with them if you do not honestly communicate.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:58 PM on February 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

YYYYMMDD at the beginning of every file name. Undergrads and new grad students in my lab initially never believe me on this one. Then a year or two in, as the files accumulate, they see the light.
posted by ASF Tod und Schwerkraft at 10:08 PM on February 4, 2023 [29 favorites]

I've found that putting chopped onion in your fridge is a bad deal no matter what you do

You people are all mad. Put some lemon juice on your leftover chopped onion, put in fridge, enjoy nice acid-marinated onion later in salad or non-sweet yogurt or anything else that could use some flavor or crunch.
posted by trig at 12:41 AM on February 5, 2023 [7 favorites]

Canned fish, mackerel and even salmon, are cheaper than Fancy Feast. Use a pint jar to store the rest of the canned fish in your fridge.

As a vet tech I'm obligated to ask that you don't feed your cat a diet of only canned fish. (If that's what you meant).
posted by cozenedindigo at 3:36 AM on February 5, 2023 [13 favorites]

Don't forget the onion on your belt.

If the onion gets tuck on your belt, use WD40 and remember, it's lefty-loosey, tighty-righty.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 6:11 AM on February 5, 2023 [4 favorites]

I get a promotion, AND I still don't have to be a supervisor.

Last year, I got a promotion out of being a supervisor. At some point in the future I'll probably have to be a supervisor again, but for now I'm enjoying the freedom from it (though I miss my former supervisees).

I've found that putting chopped onion in your fridge is a bad deal no matter what you do

Alternate solution: love onions so much that adding more always seems like a good idea. Then there are never leftover onions to deal with.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:19 AM on February 5, 2023 [2 favorites]

Don't use scissors on frustrating packaging. Frustrating packaging is good for maintaining hand strength.

This has reminded me of some advice that MeFi has taught me over the years: mainly, to always remember that you don't know what other people's issues might be, so blithely advising them not to do something "because maintaining hand strength is important" or whatever may not work because you don't know whether you're speaking to someone with rheumatoid arthritis, or a broken hand, or a limb difference or whatever, and so your "helpful advice" just makes you look insensitive.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:27 AM on February 5, 2023 [14 favorites]

Onion is to me like garlic is to many people. I don't care what the recipe says; if it calls for chopped onion, I'm putting a whole onion in.
posted by drlith at 8:01 AM on February 5, 2023 [10 favorites]

When assembling Elfa drawer units and thoroughly pounding them together for ultimate sturdiness, do first ensure that the drawer tracks face inside.
posted by jgirl at 8:05 AM on February 5, 2023 [11 favorites]

As a post-menopausal woman, this is useful: Even mild constipation can cause urinary incontinence. Eat more fruits, vegetables, bran, beans, etc. This may be the most valuable piece of advice I know.
posted by Mom at 8:06 AM on February 5, 2023 [5 favorites]

There is nothing wrong with working on several entirely different pieces of writing at the same time, especially if you get stuck with one. As soon as I realized i didn't have to finish one thing to start another. This has, ironically, really improved my ability to get stuff done

High alcohol hand sanitizer makes a pretty good silver polish, if you're the kind of person inclined toward decorative silver plate trays at the thrift shop.

Handwritten notes sent through the mail can do a lot of heavy lifting emotionally friend and acquaintance wise, or to put another way, you were right about the thank you notes, Nana.

Your least favorite style of jeans will always come back, but you do not have to wear them.
posted by thivaia at 9:27 AM on February 5, 2023 [6 favorites]

A safety razor with disposable razor blades gives a superior shave to the Gillettes of the world. To that end, shave in the shower. Way less mess and softer hairs from the shower steam.

Keep a $20 tucked in your phone case and another $20 hidden somewhere in your main method of transportation.

Put a pinch of sage in your boots and all day long a spicy scent is your reward.
posted by Twicketface at 9:45 AM on February 5, 2023 [7 favorites]

[dopeslaps Twicketface]
posted by paper chromatographologist at 10:02 AM on February 5, 2023 [2 favorites]

Put the grippy decals on the tub floor, install grab bars, install handrails on steps, deal with loose throw rugs, and all the safety stuff recommended for geezers. It makes life safer and easier even when you're not old.
posted by Mom at 10:08 AM on February 5, 2023 [3 favorites]

I have a few different tools that live on my key chain. I don't own a car, do a lot of walking and transit, and may or may not have a bag or backpack along, so key chain tools that are not too bulky or heavy are great. Of all the useful stuff for when I am out and about, I really love the small scissors and tweezers on my mini Victorinox pocket knife, but my favorite key chain tool is a key knife: Example 1. Example 2.

I often need a pencil in a place without a sharpener, and hate the click mechanical pencils because I never can get the length right. Then someone introduced me to Paper Mate SharpWriter pencils, where you twist the tip to advance the lead. Perfect!

Also, rather than the rhyme, I still use the knuckle trick from my grandmother to tell if there are 31 days in a month or not. (This can be particularly useful for kids also.) Just use your finger and touch each of your knuckles and the spaces between them. Start on your first knuckle for January (31 days), then the space between to the next knuckle is February (not 31 days), then the next knuckle is March (31 days), the next space is April (not 31 days), and so on. Start over on the same hand with your first knuckle to continue with August till December.

My grandmother's other tip when I was learning the multiplication tables (another useful one for kids) is that for the 9s every result adds up to 9. So: 1 x 9 = 9 (9 is 9). 2 x 9 = 18 (1 + 8 = 9). 3 x 9 = 27 (2 + 7 = 9). 4 x 9 = 36 (3 + 6 = 9). 5 x 9 = 45 (4 + 5 = 9) and so on ...
posted by gudrun at 10:23 AM on February 5, 2023 [4 favorites]

...and another $20 hidden somewhere in your main method of transportation.

Well, in my shoes, 0K, but on the bus? Like when will I be on that particular coach again
hmm?
posted by y2karl at 10:28 AM on February 5, 2023 [5 favorites]

Those modes of transport, I'll be on the village bicycle soon, I expect, but this "cost of living crisis" means they want $200. I didn't believe the claim but apparently it's the same as in town.
posted by k3ninho at 1:03 PM on February 5, 2023 [2 favorites]

Keep a bottle of clear nail polish in your purse to stop runs in your pantyhose ahahahahaha there was a time when people actually did this
posted by HotToddy at 1:40 PM on February 5, 2023 [16 favorites]

If you overtighten bolts and the head falls off, don't cut corners by glueing them back on. But if you do, use better glue your than these idiots repairing the reactor on a nuclear submarine.
posted by biffa at 2:06 PM on February 5, 2023 [2 favorites]

Well, in my shoes, 0K, but on the bus? Like when will I be on that particular coach again

There was this one time I was waiting at my local bus shelter and someone showed me where in the rafters they kept some coins for emergency fare.
posted by aniola at 2:12 PM on February 5, 2023 [4 favorites]

If you overtighten bolts and

The boogest thing I ever saw was a guy JB Weld a spark plug into a Chevy was going to flip.
posted by clavdivs at 3:07 PM on February 5, 2023 [2 favorites]

ahahahahaha there was a time when people actually did this

Did that ever really work for more than a few minutes?
posted by porpoise at 5:03 PM on February 5, 2023 [1 favorite]

From a 2014 ask.metafilter: use Ian's Secure Shoelace Knot to tie your shoes. It got 34 likes back then. Reader, in eight years of using this technique on a daily basis, I can't remember my shoes ever coming untied.
posted by BlueTongueLizard at 5:09 PM on February 5, 2023 [12 favorites]

If you're in a rut in life, try something that seems out of character for you. Not a sports person? Go watch a sports game. Think you're not fancy enough for opera? Go to a show. Not much for makeup? Try a full face makeover.

You only need to try it once. If you don't like it, well at least now you know and you can move on. But you might discover something you didn't think you'd like! You may also meet people that can lead you to other things that are your vibe, or at the very least make new friends.

This has helped me so much whenever I've felt like I needed a shakeup.
posted by creatrixtiara at 6:01 PM on February 5, 2023 [15 favorites]

Hand sanitizer will remove pine sap from cars or hands. It’s pretty great.
posted by Slinga at 7:39 PM on February 5, 2023 [2 favorites]

I really love the small scissors and tweezers on my mini Victorinox pocket knife,
I used to have one of those and it traveled all over the world with me. Until that one time I forgot to take it off my keyring when I was flying and it got confiscated.

Related advice - when going through airport security, take everything out of your pockets and put them in your carry-on bag so you have less things to forget in the rush to get yourself re-assembled after the scanner.

Late to the party on WD-40 - it was never intended to be a lubricant, so no surprise that it isn't very good at lubricating. It's right there on the label.
posted by dg at 7:50 PM on February 5, 2023

I have removed the bottom 2 screws on the light switch cover by my front door and replaced them with cup hooks, now I have a place to hang my keys.
I keep a baseball style hat in the door pocket of my car. I put it on when the car visor doesn't block the sun well enough, I can always ajust the cap enough to block the sun. Why did it take 50 years for me to figure that out? Why?
posted by BoscosMom at 8:06 PM on February 5, 2023 [14 favorites]

Keep a bottle of clear nail polish in your purse to stop runs in your pantyhose

I have done this because I am an old who worked in jobs that required pantyhose for professionalism in her 20s. Nail polish does work temporarily when you apply it to both ends of a runner. Basically if the run is high enough to be under your skirt, you can keep it from getting worse long enough to get home. The runner you already have isn't going to be fixable though.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 8:19 PM on February 5, 2023 [6 favorites]

Hand sanitizer will remove pine sap from cars or hands.

You can also use hairspray as a nail polish remover - it just takes a FUCKton of it.

(It was in high school, I'd been Marilyn Monroe or someone like that or Halloween, and forgot to take the nail polish off before a performance of a community theater play set in Colonial New England and we were desperate.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:26 PM on February 5, 2023

If you're taking a young child in a car seat in a taxi, leave the door wide open until the seat is firmly secured, so they can't start driving.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 9:47 PM on February 5, 2023 [1 favorite]

Baby and child advice is often extremely unsolicited. Try to avoid giving it without saying something to the effect of YMMV.

Advice for people getting too much advice on their pregnancy/baby/kid:

Every pregnancy is different. Every baby is different. Every kid is different. So when someone gives you advice, even if it seems bad, it probably applied to some pregnancy/baby/kid at some point. Remembering this may well keep you from throttling your mother-in-law.
posted by sciencegeek at 11:32 PM on February 5, 2023 [6 favorites]

If you get frustrated with chores and errands taking up valuable weekend leisure time, try forcing yourself to do as many chores and errands as possible on Thursday night after work - grab a pizza and just push yourself through as much as possible. That way, when you get home from work Friday night, your whole weekend stretches out in front of you and you have already done the household work you planned to do.

Seconding the suggestion to try new things "out of character" - I think everyone should go to the following at least once in their life:

-A ballet performance
-An opera
-An orchestral concert
-A jazz performance
-A poetry reading
-A major sports game for each of the big leagues
-an art exhibition
-a figure skating competition

and so on and so on....it's just interesting to see what humanity is capable of, and to see well trained people do something really, really well.
posted by fortitude25 at 4:01 AM on February 6, 2023 [4 favorites]

You wake up and realize you have 2 gallons of curdled milk( it happened to me yesterday). I made my mom’s recipe of Dulce de leche cortada ( quick method) or dulce-de-leche-Cortana ( takes little more time).
posted by SunPower at 5:27 AM on February 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

If you have a few random minutes while your are waiting on something else in your day (waiting for everyone to be ready to go out, for example) find a quick task you can knock off. Put away dishes, water plants, fold laundry, take out recycling, etc. Shifting some trivial daily tasks into those random minutes frees up a quality block of time in your evening.

If you have family/friends with kids and don't know what to gift for holidays/birthdays, get them an annual membership to a museum/zoo/aquarium/park if they have on in their area.
posted by mikepop at 5:35 AM on February 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

Slinga: Hand sanitizer will remove pine sap from cars or hands. It’s pretty great.

It will also remove many kinds of stain from clothing, or at least make them less visible. Great when you're already underway to somewhere where you will meet people, and you notice a stain. It takes only a few minutes to dry.
posted by Too-Ticky at 9:15 AM on February 6, 2023

Best advice I've ever gotten is to admit to your mistakes and when you're wrong/incorrect about something, being able to not take it personal and to incorporate the new knowledge into your worldview is borderline a superpower these days.
posted by Jarcat at 9:22 AM on February 6, 2023 [16 favorites]

Piggybacking off of Jarcat's comment: The power of sincerely saying "I'm sorry, I make a mistake" is amazing.

Although I already knew that, it was reinforced for me in my late 20s when I waited tables for 2-3 years. While other waiters blamed their mistakes on the kitchen staff or the ordering system, I took ownership of my mistakes. I apologized to the customer, let my manager know I screwed up (so they could offer a complimentary appetizer or dessert), and tried a little harder to make the rest of their meal a nicer experience. I often got decent tips from those people, while the other-blaming waiters didn't.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:35 AM on February 6, 2023 [6 favorites]

saying "I'm sorry, I make a mistake"

Sorry, I made a mistake...
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:08 AM on February 6, 2023 [14 favorites]

listen to audiobooks on increased speed. Use the search term “read alike” with a book title or author that you like to find similar books. Append “libguide” to search terms you’re interested in learning more about.

The Alex Awards from the ALA are for adult books that appeal to teens and almost always guaranteed to be page turners.
posted by CMcG at 11:49 AM on February 6, 2023 [4 favorites]

YouTube can help you fix about anything and you, yes you, are capable of fixing way more things than you think. Last year I fixed 2 leaking refrigerators (ice build up blocking drains).
My neighbor's cook top (had to order a part, took 10 minutes only because there were a lot of screws holding the back panel on).
Several garbage disposals (usually have just come unplugged but sometimes you need to push the hidden reset button).
Cabin filters on automobiles (cheaper to buy online, takes 5 minutes) Grease Monkey charges $79.
Yesterday my pull down kitchen faucet was spraying water from behind the head, took 30 minutes to fix only because I didn't have a big enough Allen wrench and had to borrow one from a neighbor.
Even if you can't, or just don't want to try and fix it, it can be helpful to have an idea of what, maybe, is wrong.
Oh, and I'm really impressed with Pfister right now. Their website had a troubleshooting guide that told me exactly what was wrong with my faucet and how to fix it.
posted by BoscosMom at 12:44 PM on February 6, 2023 [7 favorites]

Try to have a setup where your trash bags are like 20% too big for your trash can, so that you never have an issue with them being too full to close all the way.
posted by rivenwanderer at 1:19 PM on February 6, 2023 [4 favorites]

after using minty dental floss it is advisable to wash your hands well before putting in your contact lenses.

And on that note: if you're a guy and you're chopping jalapeños bare-handed and feel the need to go pee, wash your hands before doing your business. Maybe wash them twice.

I made a mistake on that front 25 years ago and have never forgotten it.
posted by johnofjack at 1:35 PM on February 6, 2023

I've never done the bathroom ouchie but I've done the eyes ouchie after cutting peppers. I've found that washing my hands with a little dishwashing soap (such as Dawn) does a great job of removing treacherous lingering capsaicin from them.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:40 PM on February 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

If you're chopping "problem" vegetables, i.e. peppers or onions, wear gloves.

About once a week I'll dice a couple of onions and freeze the dice in an ice cube tray. Keep the tray in a plastic bag as a barrier to odors. Just grab a cube when you need to cook with onions.

The large container mini M&M's come in is great to store emery boards.

I put a keychain carabiner on my dog's leash hook. It's easier to snap into the collar.

My library had a bin for glasses donations, and I found out they throw away the cases, they're not wanted. I use them to hold little tools, like mini screwdrivers and needle files.
posted by Marky at 2:14 PM on February 6, 2023 [2 favorites]

removing treacherous lingering capsaicin from them.

The hands or eyes. kidding. strangest thing dad did during the depression story. He told he would sniff pepper from time to time

never told me why, sneezing sure but why. he lived on a farm and had allergies. The pepper with the sneeze apparently helped open nasal passages. dunk your head, snort out and your good for another 10 hours. Because nothing says dust bowl medical care then pepper and mustard packs working 16 hour days when your 10.
posted by clavdivs at 2:38 PM on February 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

Also, if you are stupid enough to rub your eyes after having cutting chilis, then milk is indeed very effective in neutralising it. Naturally I wouldn't know this from direct experience.
posted by plonkee at 2:55 PM on February 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

If you are on the last train home, and likely to fall asleep, set your alarm for about 10 minutes before your station, lest you wake up so disorientated you fail to get off the train. Again, I couldn't possibly know this from direct experience.
posted by plonkee at 2:57 PM on February 6, 2023 [5 favorites]

And I have finally learned to tie my shoes right. Will wonders never cease...
posted by y2karl at 4:06 PM on February 6, 2023

About raw onions. They sell those plastic replica onions to hold onions you have already cut, and they work. Put the fake onion in your fridge, with the already peeled and cut onion inside, and you don't have to cry again. If you don't want to cry in the first place, then close your lips when cutting onions, your mouth makes a chimney right up into the sinuses, the sinus irritation makes the crying.
posted by Oyéah at 5:47 PM on February 6, 2023

The cooking tip that works for me is, just buy frozen pre-cut vegetables. It is usually the difference between whether I will or won't actually cook something for myself.
posted by biogeo at 7:10 PM on February 6, 2023 [5 favorites]

I'd favorite that more times if I could! My grocery store has all sorts of combinations, including a bell pepper and onion mix. As much as I enjoy cooking from scratch, there's been many an evening when I didn't feel like prepping but I could take a couple minutes to throw a mix of frozen veggies on a baking sheet, sprinkle it with salt/pepper/garlic powder/oregano/red pepper flakes, drizzle olive oil over it all, and pop it in the oven for half an hour. That way I end up eating something nutritious and at least passably tasty, where otherwise I would have opted for far-less-healthy (and more expensive) delivery food.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:51 PM on February 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

I read a book by a German psychologist called the Logic of Failure about all the ways the human brain can be really bad at problem solving. This was before I knew what behavioral economics was, but I was fascinated by picturing this German guy in a white labcoat putting his subjects in situations designing to embarrass, watching them flail around uselessly, get angry at each other, and be humiliated, while quietly making a note on his clipboard. "Very interesting, despite your advanced degrees you continue to make ze same error over and over. {Please, carry on."

But out of his catalog of misery I did bit a bunch of advice I still use at work, but my favorite is this one: When confronting a problem, people think about the problem and what needs to change to fix it. They seldom think about the things that are not a problem. So the solution often breaks other things they liked. The trick, once you are aware of it, is during the planning of any change, next to the list of things you want to accomplish, write down the list of things you want to stay unchanged.
posted by mark k at 11:45 PM on February 6, 2023 [10 favorites]

The capsaicin issue...if you are inviting a date over for dinner and you cook something spicy, plan ahead in terms of diligent handwashing before things transition from the dinner table to the couch and the bedroom.


.....yeah.
posted by derrinyet at 4:10 AM on February 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

If you're like me and none of the onion-cutting tricks work for you, buy safety glasses to keep in your kitchen.
posted by FencingGal at 4:12 AM on February 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

You can multiply by 9 using your fingers. Number your fingers as 1 to 10 starting from the left hand.

Let's do 3 X 9 - fold down your third finger (or imagine it folded down if you can't actually do it). You have 2 fingers to the left of the folded finger and 7 fingers to the right of the folded finger, so, 27.
posted by wittgenstein at 5:54 AM on February 7, 2023 [3 favorites]

If you move to the Southwest, keep your acoustic guitars in their cases, and buy a little humidifier sponge to hang in your soundhole until you can get an inexpensive room humidifier for your music toom. I like to keep my humidifier set at around 40%.

Refilling the room humidifier every few days may seem like a pain in the ass, but it's nothing like the pain and heartache of discovering a crack along the back of your venerable D-28.

[Helpful hint: if all your strings seem to go flat at once, the fret buzz you hear is your guitar gasping. It is crying for help. Get this instrument to a qualified luthier immediately!]
posted by mule98J at 6:49 AM on February 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

A helpful afterthought: When changing guitar strings, rub a No2 pencil on the nut's grooves. This will help your cranky G string move without making that annoying popping sound.

I dunno, WD-40 might also work, but I'd never do that.
posted by mule98J at 7:20 AM on February 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

Also, if you are stupid enough to rub your eyes after having cutting chilis, then milk is indeed very effective in neutralising it.

Confirming that I found milk worked best after I posted this AskMe. (Although, NOT in a NetiPot, as someone suggested.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:37 AM on February 7, 2023

Regarding spicy food: capsaicin is highly soluble in alcohol. So if you eat something unbearably spicy, take a shot of the highest proof alcohol you have handy (50% or more ABV preferred), swish it around your mouth thoroughly for twenty seconds or so, and spit it out. Repeat until you can bear the burning, which shouldn't take too many applications. Unlike milk, sugar, etc. this actually works. You don't want to "soothe" the burning flesh, you first need to get the stuff that's causing the burning off of there. I've seen Dave Arnold demonstrate this with some ridiculously spicy cultivar and around three applications was enough to bring him from "oh, god, I'm going to die please make it stop" to "okay, I can take this" in less than a minute.
posted by slkinsey at 8:10 AM on February 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

Along the lines of what mikepop said, if you're thinking about a short task that needs doing and the task takes five minutes or less try to DO THE TASK when you're thinking of it (for me this is often cleaning the countertop, taking my meds, carrying a thing upstairs, or cleaning the toilet) because it's often simpler and more effective than presuming you'll remember and takes less psychic overhead.

Big fan of "No is a complete sentence" (above) as a person who has trouble with boundaries.

Handwritten notes sent through the mail can do a lot of heavy lifting emotionally friend and acquaintance wise, or to put another way, you were right about the thank you notes, Nana.

Yep, my dad used to send me postcards when he would travel for work when I was a little kid and often they were just a sentence or two about what was going on right then, no magnum opus but it felt good to get mail. The best note isn't the one that is perfectly written but the one that gets sent. Send that note.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:11 AM on February 7, 2023 [8 favorites]

Keep a pair of scissors in every room. Then, if you spray WD40 on your onions, you can put hand sanitiser on your genitalia to get stubborn stains out. Works every time.
posted by pipeski at 8:13 AM on February 7, 2023 [18 favorites]

Capital!
posted by clavdivs at 8:48 AM on February 7, 2023

all this onion advice is charming, unless your eyes are as sensitive as mine. I can walk into a room where someone else has just chopped an onion and its like I have been stabbed in the eyes and have to lie down and do a compress to stop the burning watering itching i-cant-see reaction.
posted by supermedusa at 9:01 AM on February 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

To reduce the chances of being stabbed in the eyes, make sure there's at least one scissors-free room in your home.

A running toilet is super easy to fix and won't require hiring a plumber. The problem is likely either too much tension on the chain connecting the flapper to the rest of the flushing mechanism, or the flapper itself is worn and you're not longer getting a good seal. Take the lid off the tank and flush the toilet, watching what happens to figure out your next steps. If the chain is the problem, you can probably address that by disconnecting and reconnecting at a different point in the chain that allows the flapper to form a better seal. If that doesn't do it, turn off the water via the knob on the wall near the toilet tank, flush the toilet to empty the tank and check out the rubber seal below the flapper valve. If it feels kind of slimy, replace that. If the entire flush mechanism needs replacing, you can easily remove that by unscrewing it a bit and pulling up. Install a new one by doing the reverse. One YouTube video turned me into an extremely limited plumbing professional, but it has since saved us a lot of money.
posted by emelenjr at 9:28 AM on February 7, 2023 [5 favorites]

Don't follow plumbing or electrical advice from MetaFilter if you're outside the US. American toilets and electrics are an example of convergent evolution, like wolves and thylacines.
posted by pipeski at 9:32 AM on February 7, 2023 [9 favorites]

I will definitely be using a No2 pencil on my cranky G string in the near future!
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:35 AM on February 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

I recently found out that you should dump a bunch of vinegar in your toilet tank a couple time a year to clean it. Having found this out, I did that and it dissolved the crud on the flapper valve that was causing a tiny leak. Hurrah!
posted by rockindata at 10:13 AM on February 7, 2023 [7 favorites]

If you’re neurodivergent and/or a trauma survivor you might have trouble really dialling into your emotions. So, if you feel a TINY TINY TINY little uh-oh, or doubt, at ALL, even for a SECOND in a situation, whether it’s “hm, is this the right visual asset for this client’s tweet” or “I sense some unfairness to someone in this situation/process” or “hm, I’m not sure about this person’s intentions”, learn to recognise it. It could be the tiniest bird-call in the cacophonous forest of your brain, but practice and learn to recognise it. And pat yourself on the back when you have! Once you’ve recognised it, you can thoroughly, methodically check out the tiny-uh-oh causing pattern and make a very deliberate and conscious decision about it. I do this for myself because I (finally) value myself enough to only take on risk that is explicitly chosen by me, not accidentally incurred risk.
posted by The Last Sockpuppet at 11:41 AM on February 7, 2023 [8 favorites]

Hand sanitizer is also really great at cleaning CDs and DVDs and it even works on the grotty paper covers of old books.
posted by mygothlaundry at 2:02 PM on February 7, 2023

when changing guitar strings, rub a No2 pencil on the nut's grooves

Because I'm an Old I must share where I first heard of using a pencil "lead"s graphite for groove lubrication: in a manual for a wooden Slide Rule.

And my usual tip, in answer to questions like these: for getting those damned filmy plastic bags for produce open, at the market: pick up a cucumber first. The waxy residue on your fingertips works like a charm (although I understand some people facing this dilemma just lick their fingers).
posted by Rash at 3:23 PM on February 7, 2023 [4 favorites]

When confronting a problem, people think about the problem and what needs to change to fix it. They seldom think about the things that are not a problem. So the solution often breaks other things they liked. The trick, once you are aware of it, is during the planning of any change, next to the list of things you want to accomplish, write down the list of things you want to stay unchanged.
posted by mark k
This may be the most relevant to MetaTalk quote ever!
I have discovered something about myself thanks to this thread. I can give unsolicited advice like mad in the real world, but I can't seem to produce it on demand. Maybe it's just the act of soliciting unsolicited advice that is interfering with my mojo.
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 3:55 PM on February 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

Gaffer tape often holds up better and is less unsightly than duct tape for many applications.
posted by Aleyn at 4:02 PM on February 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

getting those damned filmy plastic bags for produce open ... some people facing this dilemma just lick their fingers

Ah yes, I remember the good old days when I didn't think twice (or even once, really) about a quick finger-lick in the grocery store. Now it's been nearly 3 years since the last time I didn't wear a mask to the grocery store...definitely trying the cucumber trick* next time.

*Perhaps the internet has ruined me, but I'd prefer to come up with a different name for that
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:23 PM on February 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

If you're in the UK (not sure about elsewhere) and need to hang things on walls in a typical house of plasterboard/brick build, just get some Rawlplug Uno plugs (brown no. 7), a 7mm masonry drill bit, and some #8x1½" wood screws. They'll hang most things, large or small. There are larger grey plugs for the really heavy stuff. They work really nicely.
posted by pipeski at 4:31 PM on February 7, 2023

This is pretty obvious, but many people don't seem to know it. When fastening two pieces of wood together with a screw, pre-drill the "outer" piece of wood so that the threads on the screw can slide more or less freely through it. This will allow the screw to exercise all its clamping force on the outer piece of wood and draw it down to the inner piece of wood when you tighten it. If you don' t do this, the screw will create threads in both pieces of wood and they will "fight" each other to an extent.
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 4:32 PM on February 7, 2023 [5 favorites]

We have lots of experience with fighty threads on Metafilter!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:36 PM on February 7, 2023 [6 favorites]

More drilling for less fighty threads, got it.
posted by biogeo at 4:54 PM on February 7, 2023 [4 favorites]

If you go to a supermarket that mists their produce regularly, you can fondle just about anything in the produce aisle to get your fingers damp enough to open the plastic bags. I suppose it's polite to limit your fondling to items likely to be cooked.
posted by mollweide at 5:02 PM on February 7, 2023 [6 favorites]

More drilling for less fighty threads, got it.
posted by biogeo
Anyone have any advice for spotting double entendres?
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 5:19 PM on February 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

Swim goggles work great for onions. It blocks the gases from getting to your eyes. You'll still feel it in your nose and throat, though, but you won't cry.
posted by blnkfrnk at 7:17 PM on February 7, 2023 [4 favorites]

Most people can't tell the difference between fresh and store-bought pie pastry so save yourself the effort. But, if you want to make a thing where you cut in butter, a food processor is the answer.

Don't put a $20 in your car...put $20 in ones and fives in your car and a roll of quarters. It's more versatile than a solid $20, particularly in situations like parking meters or garages with a machine that won't break a $20.

If your cake looks bad, chop it in pieces, make some instant pudding, and layer it into a bowl. Now you can call it trifle!
posted by blnkfrnk at 7:29 PM on February 7, 2023 [3 favorites]

If you fuck up an omelette, just go wild and then call it a scramble. If you keep fucking up omelettes, just get really good at scrambles.
posted by biogeo at 8:40 PM on February 7, 2023 [7 favorites]

Still testing this one as my father is not cooperating:

Apparently touch screens don't respond as well to old people's fingers because as you get older, the skin on your fingertips changes.

Using a small amount of moisturiser is supposed to help.

My mother's advice was, never apologise for food as you're serving it. Present it as if it's delicious even if you are feeling insecure.
posted by Zumbador at 4:25 AM on February 8, 2023 [3 favorites]

For opening flimsy plastic bags, another thing that works well is doing an open-mouth exhale onto your fingers, like you are trying to fog up a mirror. Same concept, no touch. Great for opening up dog waste bags while on a walk.
posted by Sparky Buttons at 7:56 AM on February 8, 2023 [2 favorites]

we call it a Scromblet. tastes just as good.
posted by supermedusa at 9:44 AM on February 8, 2023 [1 favorite]

For as many things as is practical for you to store (with the storage space/cabinets that you have available), get several boxes of dishwasher detergent, bottles of your favorite shampoo, etc. You'll need to go shopping for those items less, it's easy to notice "oh I just started the last box, better get a few more next time I'm out" and then never have to go out specifically because Oh Crap We're Out Of X.

You probably have a closet or two that could accommodate one of those hanging door organizer type things, you can put any kind of small clutter in them and then at least it's not hanging out all over your horizontal surfaces (and you can Marie Kondo them later--decouple "having a more usable living space" from "making a bunch of decisions about small objects"). Obviously this only works well if you don't re-clutter everything again with more new objects afterwards.
posted by rivenwanderer at 10:22 AM on February 8, 2023

For as many things as is practical for you to store (with the storage space/cabinets that you have available)

If stocking several containers of X isn't feasible: Buy two, then as as soon as the first one is used up add it to the grocery list. Start using the second one, and by the time that's empty you already have its replacement available. Rinse and repeat...
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:40 AM on February 8, 2023 [2 favorites]

Oh and a houseplant care tip from a newbie: if you have trouble not overwatering the plants that are supposed to get dry between waterings, get a maidenhair fern and put it in a relatively bright place. You can and should water it a lot. Channel all your "water it if at all plausible" energy to that plant and leave the others alone.
posted by rivenwanderer at 11:55 AM on February 8, 2023 [5 favorites]

Larry David Syndrome, you don't need to predrill if you're using wood screws, that's the reason the screw threads don't extend all the way to the head!
posted by yeahlikethat at 2:19 PM on February 8, 2023 [2 favorites]

Wear sunscreen - Kurt Vonnegut
posted by hypnogogue at 2:38 PM on February 8, 2023 [1 favorite]

Three money-saving tips:

When all the pieces in your bag of nacho chips are too small to dip, pour them into a bowl. Use your jar of salsa to grind the pieces into the desired consistency. Then pour the salsa over the pieces, stir, and eat with a spoon.

When the creamy salad dressing won't pour out anymore but you know there's a lot left, pour about an inch of an oil based dressing, shake, and use that.

When your bar of soap is too small, get it and the next bar of soap really sudsy and smush them together. If you do it right they will fuse.
posted by hypnogogue at 2:43 PM on February 8, 2023 [1 favorite]

Another option for too small chips is to use them in a sandwich. Spread cream cheese on both sides of a roll and put the crushed chips on one side, salsa on the other. You can add your choice of meats, pickles, olives, etc. for a bootleg fusion muffuletta.
posted by blnkfrnk at 12:16 AM on February 9, 2023

Don’t walk, run, or - for the love of god - use the stairs when you have something in one of your orifices. Q-tip, toothbrush, vibrator, whatever: be stationary!
posted by punchtothehead at 1:32 AM on February 9, 2023 [4 favorites]

Larry David Syndrome, you don't need to predrill if you're using wood screws, that's the reason the screw threads don't extend all the way to the head!
posted by yeahlikethat
That's an excellent point, but many people [raises hand] use deck screws or drywall screws for everything. The really long ones have at least a portion of unthreaded shank, but many of the shorter ones are threaded all the way. Wood screws AFAIK don't come with more modern, strip resistant heads like Torx.
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 4:44 AM on February 9, 2023

Pre drilling also mitigates splitting of frangible or hard woods so is used even when the shank is approriately sized for the thickness of the fastened material. The Canadian standard Robertson wood screw will easily resist cam out until it snaps.
posted by Mitheral at 5:48 AM on February 9, 2023 [3 favorites]

Yes! Robertsons aren't just "square," they have a slight taper and seat very well.
posted by porpoise at 11:28 AM on February 9, 2023 [1 favorite]

When your bar of soap is too small, get it and the next bar of soap really sudsy and smush them together. If you do it right they will fuse.

It helps a lot to score the surfaces before you get them sudsy. Increases the surface area for bonding.
posted by BrashTech at 5:21 PM on February 9, 2023 [2 favorites]

I call this the "soap of Theseus."
posted by biogeo at 5:55 PM on February 9, 2023 [9 favorites]

It helps a lot to score the surfaces

"I give that one 4 out of 5 stars."
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:37 PM on February 10, 2023 [4 favorites]

"Where's the soap?"
"Yes, it does."
posted by pipeski at 4:10 PM on February 10, 2023 [2 favorites]

Unsolicited advice that I hope you never need, but learned the hard way (not today, fortunately, though today's cut and color reminded me): don't wear a shirt you care about to the hairdresser's when you're getting color done. Especially not if you're bleaching before color.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 4:28 PM on February 10, 2023 [3 favorites]

*Perhaps the internet has ruined me, but I'd prefer to come up with a different name for that

The cucumber sticky fingers trick
posted by solotoro at 6:10 PM on February 10, 2023 [1 favorite]

Stop trying to help!
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:30 AM on February 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

If your credit card stops working easily in the machines, take a pencil eraser and rub it across the metal contacts square on the front a few times, wipe of the eraser bits and try again. Erasers are good at removing the thin layer of oxidation/grime that eventually builds up on those contacts.
posted by zengargoyle at 5:13 PM on February 11, 2023 [2 favorites]

If we are talking screws, GRK screws are better than pretty much everything out there. I use the small cabinet screws as replacement hardware to replace whatever shitty screws come with the various brackets.
posted by rockindata at 6:18 PM on February 11, 2023 [1 favorite]

I really like the GRK screws but only use their casement screw (where the tiny head the torx socket enables is an advantage) because their general purpose screws are 2-3x the price of conventional Robertson wood screws and there is a pretty limited selection locally. Home Depot for example only stocks 18 different SKUs spread across all sizes and package counts.
posted by Mitheral at 11:26 PM on February 11, 2023