A thank you, and a question for you. June 1, 2020 8:07 AM Subscribe
Hi everybody. Yesterday* I posted this question, asking about sending my son to preschool. And today...
...today my daughter is graduating from high school.
Thank you.
You have been there for me this whole time, in fact you've been there since before she was born.
When I joined this place I was a recently married, mostly-ignorant, immature dude in his late 20s. I thought it might be a fun place to troll people and generally be an ass. At the time I didn't know I needed you, but I did.
I'm 50 now. I like to think I'm less of an ass.
I don't know what kind of person I'd be today if I hadn't found Metafilter. Probably still that same ignorant asshole. I certainly would not have been able to navigate some of the twists and turns my life has taken these past couple of years and it's very possible my family would have been torn apart when my child came out had you not helped educate me beforehand.
So, thank you. Sincerely. Thank you. I needed you and you were there.
That brings me to my question**: What has changed in your life since the day you joined Metafilter? New job? New marriage? Divorce? A new scar? New dog? New crate of turnips for your Animal Crossing island?
*ok, it wasn't yesterday, but it SEEMS like it was yesterday.
**I know half the world is currently on fire and the other half is on a respirator and I understand if it's currently difficult to find some positivity in life. I have to find it where I can.
...today my daughter is graduating from high school.
Thank you.
You have been there for me this whole time, in fact you've been there since before she was born.
When I joined this place I was a recently married, mostly-ignorant, immature dude in his late 20s. I thought it might be a fun place to troll people and generally be an ass. At the time I didn't know I needed you, but I did.
I'm 50 now. I like to think I'm less of an ass.
I don't know what kind of person I'd be today if I hadn't found Metafilter. Probably still that same ignorant asshole. I certainly would not have been able to navigate some of the twists and turns my life has taken these past couple of years and it's very possible my family would have been torn apart when my child came out had you not helped educate me beforehand.
So, thank you. Sincerely. Thank you. I needed you and you were there.
That brings me to my question**: What has changed in your life since the day you joined Metafilter? New job? New marriage? Divorce? A new scar? New dog? New crate of turnips for your Animal Crossing island?
*ok, it wasn't yesterday, but it SEEMS like it was yesterday.
**I know half the world is currently on fire and the other half is on a respirator and I understand if it's currently difficult to find some positivity in life. I have to find it where I can.
Huge congratulations to your mini cliffs and to yourself, it's a hell of an achievement!
About a month ago, I had probably the worst day of my life* followed by the best day of my life about a week apart, and what made that possible was basically things I've learned from my grandmother and from mefi. I'm not even sure which order to put that in.
*Everyone is a-okay.
posted by lucidium at 8:44 AM on June 1, 2020 [5 favorites]
About a month ago, I had probably the worst day of my life* followed by the best day of my life about a week apart, and what made that possible was basically things I've learned from my grandmother and from mefi. I'm not even sure which order to put that in.
*Everyone is a-okay.
posted by lucidium at 8:44 AM on June 1, 2020 [5 favorites]
Since I joined Metafilter? Woof. I turned 40. Then 50. Lost a parent. Went through a few relationships. Found a fiance. Became a cat person. Changed careers, sort of, a few times. Gained some weight, lost some weight, gained it back. Moved states four times. Traveled the world. Bought a house, bought another house, am trying to sell a house. (Not all in that order.)
I, too, hope that I'm less of an ass than I was when I joined in 2005.
Congrats on the graduation. Here to celebrate any and all positive life happenings right now. The world looks really grim right now but I am going to hold out hope we can pull out of this. We owe it to all the Mefites and their mini-mefites.
posted by jzb at 8:50 AM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
I, too, hope that I'm less of an ass than I was when I joined in 2005.
Congrats on the graduation. Here to celebrate any and all positive life happenings right now. The world looks really grim right now but I am going to hold out hope we can pull out of this. We owe it to all the Mefites and their mini-mefites.
posted by jzb at 8:50 AM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
Met my partner, got married, bought a house, had three kids, lost count of the various jobs I've had... I'm by no means a perfect spouse or dad but I do credit MetaFilter with making me much better at being both that I would have been, as well as opening my eyes to all sorts of diverse topics I wouldn't otherwise had known much about. Sadly, some things don't change: Excel will still fuck up your data if you're not careful.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 9:03 AM on June 1, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by EndsOfInvention at 9:03 AM on June 1, 2020 [5 favorites]
Congrats and hugs, bondcliff. Dittoing LM, the sense of seeing change and growth in people's lives over an increasingly long timeline is one of the incredibly special things about this place to me. It reminds me how much of my own life I've lived.
What's happened since I joined MeFi? I was 21 at the time. I'm 41 now. My whole adult life has happened. It's been better in so many ways for this being part of it.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:03 AM on June 1, 2020 [15 favorites]
What's happened since I joined MeFi? I was 21 at the time. I'm 41 now. My whole adult life has happened. It's been better in so many ways for this being part of it.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:03 AM on June 1, 2020 [15 favorites]
Well I was 17 when I joined, back in 2002, and had been reading the site for about a year to 18 months before that.
I've since moved to England, got a BA and Masters, returned to Northern Ireland to work for a political party, moved back to England, started and then dropped out of a PhD programme after a couple of years, joined the Civil Service, moved to London and now lead a team of social researchers. I met my partner 14.5 years ago and we've been together for more than 12 years.
Quite a bit then! Too busy these days to contribute much, but I'm still around, and glad MeFi is too.
posted by knapah at 9:14 AM on June 1, 2020 [3 favorites]
I've since moved to England, got a BA and Masters, returned to Northern Ireland to work for a political party, moved back to England, started and then dropped out of a PhD programme after a couple of years, joined the Civil Service, moved to London and now lead a team of social researchers. I met my partner 14.5 years ago and we've been together for more than 12 years.
Quite a bit then! Too busy these days to contribute much, but I'm still around, and glad MeFi is too.
posted by knapah at 9:14 AM on June 1, 2020 [3 favorites]
I still very clearly remember signing up for Mefi in my college engineering computer lab, and I had to email Mathowie because my debit card was back in my dorm room... Since then I've gotten married, bought and sold a house, moved cross-county three times, got my husband up through his PhD then out of academia, and oh yeah I just had a kid.
Also, I kid you not, I finally found an A-10 joystick, in Fry's of course, 13 years after I needed it.
posted by muddgirl at 9:18 AM on June 1, 2020 [7 favorites]
Also, I kid you not, I finally found an A-10 joystick, in Fry's of course, 13 years after I needed it.
posted by muddgirl at 9:18 AM on June 1, 2020 [7 favorites]
Huge congratulations to your mini cliffs
Mini cliff.
posted by bondcliff at 9:28 AM on June 1, 2020 [23 favorites]
Mini cliff.
posted by bondcliff at 9:28 AM on June 1, 2020 [23 favorites]
I have friends online. I am part of an interesting, weird, funny, smart, witty, creative, mostly caring community. My life has been a rollercoaster, which is how it goes. This is nice, bondcliff, on a day when we really need a reminder that change is happening, life is continuing. Congratulations, minicliff, mscliff, and to you.
posted by theora55 at 9:37 AM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by theora55 at 9:37 AM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
My Metafilter friends found out I was having a baby before my meatspace friends. I was active here long before that and today I am home-schooling an 8 and 11 year old.
The kids are whizzes at math and science but all of us are struggling together on writing. I am a natural writer and I am trying to convey to them how incredibly important, useful, and empowering it is to be able to write well. We are coming to the conclusion that they hate it because they could care less what they're being told to write about and they just stop. I keep telling them that writing takes a ton of practice and the only way to get good is to write about things you care about and do it often so it doesn't feel like a chore.
So my 11 year old asked when I became a good writer and how did I find things to communicate that I cared about. And certainly college and work have been important places to develop. Also I blogged a little. But I have been coming to Metafilter and writing daily, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Sometimes being a jackass to get a laugh, sometimes to convey my thoughts about something I know and care passionately about, or most often to marvel at the depth, generosity, and insight of this community. Always in complete sentences with perfect grammer.
Yes, I did all the adult-getting-older things like baby making, house buying, death grieving. I have some genuine friends here and we've followed each others' lives for a decade and a half now. But the writing thing, that's a really tangible skill Metafilter has allowed me to practice over many years and I forget that many people never take the time to articulate their thoughts the way we do here.
We are probably dinosaurs and will be left behind by a civilization that develops an outrage-based language consisting only of three letter acronyms and memes. Then all we'll have left is each other.
LOL
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:41 AM on June 1, 2020 [14 favorites]
The kids are whizzes at math and science but all of us are struggling together on writing. I am a natural writer and I am trying to convey to them how incredibly important, useful, and empowering it is to be able to write well. We are coming to the conclusion that they hate it because they could care less what they're being told to write about and they just stop. I keep telling them that writing takes a ton of practice and the only way to get good is to write about things you care about and do it often so it doesn't feel like a chore.
So my 11 year old asked when I became a good writer and how did I find things to communicate that I cared about. And certainly college and work have been important places to develop. Also I blogged a little. But I have been coming to Metafilter and writing daily, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Sometimes being a jackass to get a laugh, sometimes to convey my thoughts about something I know and care passionately about, or most often to marvel at the depth, generosity, and insight of this community. Always in complete sentences with perfect grammer.
Yes, I did all the adult-getting-older things like baby making, house buying, death grieving. I have some genuine friends here and we've followed each others' lives for a decade and a half now. But the writing thing, that's a really tangible skill Metafilter has allowed me to practice over many years and I forget that many people never take the time to articulate their thoughts the way we do here.
We are probably dinosaurs and will be left behind by a civilization that develops an outrage-based language consisting only of three letter acronyms and memes. Then all we'll have left is each other.
LOL
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:41 AM on June 1, 2020 [14 favorites]
Congratulations!!!! so happy for you, your daughter, your family. thanks for a ray of sunshine in these tough times.
since 2008...hmmm...
hard not to think about the people I have lost right now, since one was very recent
I both joined and quit a "hippie retirement compound" oof, lessons learned!
got excited about working on my book again yay!!!!
got a lot more gray hair but I'm trying to rock out with my crone self now
I know I have hugged a lot of people in that time and I really look forward to more of that in the future.
posted by supermedusa at 10:16 AM on June 1, 2020 [2 favorites]
since 2008...hmmm...
hard not to think about the people I have lost right now, since one was very recent
I both joined and quit a "hippie retirement compound" oof, lessons learned!
got excited about working on my book again yay!!!!
got a lot more gray hair but I'm trying to rock out with my crone self now
I know I have hugged a lot of people in that time and I really look forward to more of that in the future.
posted by supermedusa at 10:16 AM on June 1, 2020 [2 favorites]
When I joined (under an older account) in November of 2004, I (thought I) was a straight cis man. As they say, three strikes and you're out.
Since then, I've gained two children, lost my marriage (but still have a friend and coparent), and found myself. If the world weren't falling apart, I'd have it pretty good.
posted by Tabitha Someday at 10:42 AM on June 1, 2020 [8 favorites]
Since then, I've gained two children, lost my marriage (but still have a friend and coparent), and found myself. If the world weren't falling apart, I'd have it pretty good.
posted by Tabitha Someday at 10:42 AM on June 1, 2020 [8 favorites]
I found my favorite people, is all.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:01 AM on June 1, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:01 AM on June 1, 2020 [6 favorites]
Congratulations to young Bondcliff! (is a young cliff like a ledge?)
When I joined MeFi in 2008 I was a stage manager with a day job working a secretarial job in finance, with bosses who practiced at best benign neglect, and dating a fantastically great dude.
Today, I'm a movie blogger with a day job for a super tech/manufacturing firm with a boss who will engage me in hour-long conversations about metallurgy and movies, and single. (The fantastically great dude broke up with me 3 months after joining the site, and last I heard he is married with two kids that have names that make me realize I may have dodged a bullet.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:05 AM on June 1, 2020 [3 favorites]
When I joined MeFi in 2008 I was a stage manager with a day job working a secretarial job in finance, with bosses who practiced at best benign neglect, and dating a fantastically great dude.
Today, I'm a movie blogger with a day job for a super tech/manufacturing firm with a boss who will engage me in hour-long conversations about metallurgy and movies, and single. (The fantastically great dude broke up with me 3 months after joining the site, and last I heard he is married with two kids that have names that make me realize I may have dodged a bullet.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:05 AM on June 1, 2020 [3 favorites]
I still remember my excitement that mefi signups were available for the low, low price of $5. My eldest was a baby then. I'd arrived via memepool like so many of the $5 noobs. Since then I've had a 2nd child, graduated from pharmacy school, athomeinmyhead and I moved to northern VA. We have 2 teen boys who frequently roll their eyes at me and say "what are you doing mom, reading metafilter again?"
posted by selfmedicating at 11:41 AM on June 1, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by selfmedicating at 11:41 AM on June 1, 2020 [4 favorites]
My ass is bigger now, sadly.
posted by flabdablet at 12:26 PM on June 1, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 12:26 PM on June 1, 2020 [4 favorites]
I joined here right after graduating college and now I'm 36. That's three job changes, two moves (same metro area, though), a few relationships, marriage, three pets, buying a home...
A new scar?
A giant one on the palm of my hand from falling on the ice and a chipped tooth and damage to my lip from falling off my bicycle. Fun times.
I had the startling realization the other day that I'm now almost exactly twice as old as I was when I graduated high school, which is a bit scary.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:31 PM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
A new scar?
A giant one on the palm of my hand from falling on the ice and a chipped tooth and damage to my lip from falling off my bicycle. Fun times.
I had the startling realization the other day that I'm now almost exactly twice as old as I was when I graduated high school, which is a bit scary.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:31 PM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
When I started reading I was 19, now I’m 39.
My entire life has happened during that time.
I write this as I lie next to my just fallen asleep son, who’s turning five in less than two weeks, while my wife is putting our daughter to sleep, who’ll be one in three weeks.
I had inchoate dreams of being a writer when I was 19, today I make my living that way. I’ve lived in three countries during that time, and MetaFilter has always been a way to get to know people and places in surprising ways.
I can’t imagine my life, my self, without the constant companionship of this community. During these nearly twenty years I’ve learned to be, and a lot of this learning happened here.
posted by Kattullus at 2:33 PM on June 1, 2020 [9 favorites]
My entire life has happened during that time.
I write this as I lie next to my just fallen asleep son, who’s turning five in less than two weeks, while my wife is putting our daughter to sleep, who’ll be one in three weeks.
I had inchoate dreams of being a writer when I was 19, today I make my living that way. I’ve lived in three countries during that time, and MetaFilter has always been a way to get to know people and places in surprising ways.
I can’t imagine my life, my self, without the constant companionship of this community. During these nearly twenty years I’ve learned to be, and a lot of this learning happened here.
posted by Kattullus at 2:33 PM on June 1, 2020 [9 favorites]
I joined Metafilter almost 12 years ago, shortly after I'd moved thousands of miles away from everyone I'd ever known to an unfamiliar city where I knew nobody at all and a new job that I was struggling to get up to speed on. Not really any major changes since then, but in that time I've found a lot of fantastic smart funny friends through Metafilter, both online and through IRL meetups, all of whom have enriched my life and honestly have made me the happiest I've ever been. And as bondcliff and a couple others mentioned, maybe I'm a little bit less of an ass as well... Heartfelt thanks to all of you, from all of me!
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:56 PM on June 1, 2020
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:56 PM on June 1, 2020
In 2000, I did not work here. And then I did work here. And now I sometimes work here if a schedule gap needs filling. It's delightful to meet the two new mods and get to tell them my old war stories about back in the dhoyt days or whateverthefuck mostly-irrelevant stuff still plays large in the movie screen of my memory.
I lived in Seattle then, I live in Vermont now. I worked in tech then, I do.... tech-adjacent library stuff now. I saw single for a while, then dating a Vermont Law student....
bondcliff, I met you the same day (and only minutes earlier than) I met my partner not_on_display. He's the jelly to my peanut butter and even though (because?) we don't live together, he's the light of my life. And I haven't seen him in person since.... March? Which is hard, but okay. And we, all of us (and maryr!), celebrate Jimsmas together on your shared birthday and it's a thing that I look forward to even as I dread holidaytime.
I also met ColdChef here who helped me manage dealing with the deaths of my parents and the trickiness that is other people's expectations. Many MeFites were super helpful when n_o_d's son was experiencing symptoms and diagnosed with a mental illness that was tricky to navigate before it settled in to a New Normal. I hope that I've been able to help some MeFites dealing with similar changes in their families.
I think more to the point what HASN'T changed? I'm wearing this same hat (seriously it's freaking COLD here). I like writing with people better than talking with people but I do have some people I love to talk with locally, some of whom I met on MetaFilter. I've met 700+ new people just in some ways through this website. I always come ack to this basic and simple comment in threads like this: "I have made some good friends in this place"
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 3:14 PM on June 1, 2020 [14 favorites]
I lived in Seattle then, I live in Vermont now. I worked in tech then, I do.... tech-adjacent library stuff now. I saw single for a while, then dating a Vermont Law student....
bondcliff, I met you the same day (and only minutes earlier than) I met my partner not_on_display. He's the jelly to my peanut butter and even though (because?) we don't live together, he's the light of my life. And I haven't seen him in person since.... March? Which is hard, but okay. And we, all of us (and maryr!), celebrate Jimsmas together on your shared birthday and it's a thing that I look forward to even as I dread holidaytime.
I also met ColdChef here who helped me manage dealing with the deaths of my parents and the trickiness that is other people's expectations. Many MeFites were super helpful when n_o_d's son was experiencing symptoms and diagnosed with a mental illness that was tricky to navigate before it settled in to a New Normal. I hope that I've been able to help some MeFites dealing with similar changes in their families.
I think more to the point what HASN'T changed? I'm wearing this same hat (seriously it's freaking COLD here). I like writing with people better than talking with people but I do have some people I love to talk with locally, some of whom I met on MetaFilter. I've met 700+ new people just in some ways through this website. I always come ack to this basic and simple comment in threads like this: "I have made some good friends in this place"
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 3:14 PM on June 1, 2020 [14 favorites]
It occurs to me that “88 Lines about 44 Mefites” is probably not something where most people know the parody better than the original, but here we are.
(Technically I think at least 4 lines were about dhoyt because jenleigh also got a mention. But then again I guess that’s two Mefites, even if at least one is fictional..)
Anyhow, I think that predates me joining MeFi for real, but man. Since 2006, I’ve had at least three careers, finished college, didn’t move to NYC to work on movies, did move to Phoenix (and LA, and San Jose), dropped out of grad school, got a cool job, won some awards, coupled and decoupled and re-coupled and now we’re engaged!
The arc of my life over time has been, I hope, towards less ignorance and unselfconscious cruddy naïveté, and Metafilter has been a big part of helping me be a better human being, in a lot of different ways. Thank you all!
posted by Alterscape at 3:40 PM on June 1, 2020 [3 favorites]
(Technically I think at least 4 lines were about dhoyt because jenleigh also got a mention. But then again I guess that’s two Mefites, even if at least one is fictional..)
Anyhow, I think that predates me joining MeFi for real, but man. Since 2006, I’ve had at least three careers, finished college, didn’t move to NYC to work on movies, did move to Phoenix (and LA, and San Jose), dropped out of grad school, got a cool job, won some awards, coupled and decoupled and re-coupled and now we’re engaged!
The arc of my life over time has been, I hope, towards less ignorance and unselfconscious cruddy naïveté, and Metafilter has been a big part of helping me be a better human being, in a lot of different ways. Thank you all!
posted by Alterscape at 3:40 PM on June 1, 2020 [3 favorites]
I was 30, unmarried, living in the US, working as an architect, fairly adrift. Now I'm 49, married, 12 year old boy, back in Chile, running a (moderately) successful webdev shop.
Metafilter has shaped me in many ways, mostly in having access to a diverse, liberal, thoughtful community. It's changed the way I argue (for the better, I hope), and made me well informed on the topics that interest me.
Ask was crucial when I was starting to dabble in programming and development, and was a big part of helping me fake until I maked it.
I bought a bass (Squier PJ) 2 weeks ago, that's a big change, too.
posted by signal at 4:28 PM on June 1, 2020 [2 favorites]
Metafilter has shaped me in many ways, mostly in having access to a diverse, liberal, thoughtful community. It's changed the way I argue (for the better, I hope), and made me well informed on the topics that interest me.
Ask was crucial when I was starting to dabble in programming and development, and was a big part of helping me fake until I maked it.
I bought a bass (Squier PJ) 2 weeks ago, that's a big change, too.
posted by signal at 4:28 PM on June 1, 2020 [2 favorites]
One thing that was a big impact was the support I got when I wanted to raise my son bilingual.
posted by signal at 4:29 PM on June 1, 2020
posted by signal at 4:29 PM on June 1, 2020
Gosh I was reading for quite a while before I joined up, like so many of us I was a kid in my early twenties, looking for a home after memepool died.
I've had kids, changed jobs, multiple times, buried my dad, grown estranged from one family member and closer to another, moved overseas, got diagnosed with lymphocytic colitis. Two cats to go with the kids, a new country. Got married! (mostly for visa purposes but still!).
I've picked up a scar on one of my ribs from leaning over the iron... All the other scars are internal!
posted by smoke at 5:03 PM on June 1, 2020
I've had kids, changed jobs, multiple times, buried my dad, grown estranged from one family member and closer to another, moved overseas, got diagnosed with lymphocytic colitis. Two cats to go with the kids, a new country. Got married! (mostly for visa purposes but still!).
I've picked up a scar on one of my ribs from leaning over the iron... All the other scars are internal!
posted by smoke at 5:03 PM on June 1, 2020
When did the $5 signup fee come into existence? My profile says I joined in 2002, but there's no way that's right. Pretty sure there wasn't a fee when I signed on...
So many births since, college graduations. Such a great place.
posted by Windopaene at 6:15 PM on June 1, 2020
So many births since, college graduations. Such a great place.
posted by Windopaene at 6:15 PM on June 1, 2020
I had to go check: I joined in 2007. My youngest would have been 7 and my eldest 10. The elder has graduated from college and is working and living on his own. I launched a human being, y'all! The youngest is officially a college junior and will be moving back to Chicago (tentatively, given the unrest) in August. I found a career in non-profit development/philanthropy. We got a dog, who is the best dog. At least two kittens joined the family between then and now. I turn 50 this year.
Lots of change, mostly good.
posted by cooker girl at 6:15 PM on June 1, 2020 [2 favorites]
Lots of change, mostly good.
posted by cooker girl at 6:15 PM on June 1, 2020 [2 favorites]
dude.
I really need that Roy Underhill T-Shirt.
:)
posted by clavdivs at 6:43 PM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
I really need that Roy Underhill T-Shirt.
:)
posted by clavdivs at 6:43 PM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
I started reading in summer 2001; I was 17. I remember the first thread I read and feeling like I had found where the adults were hanging out! I wanted to be part of the community from the start but in retrospect, being a lurker for three years was maybe good practice at listening when I was a teen. I didn’t get an account until mathowie opened $5 signups and I got one the very first day they were open to everyone. I can still remember sitting in my college room being over the moon to finally have a voice. It was so exciting!
My whole adult life I’ve been hanging around this site. Not every day, sometimes not every month, but I always come back. Through high school, college, career, dating, marriage, and kids... Mefi has always been here for me!
posted by beandip at 7:14 PM on June 1, 2020 [4 favorites]
My whole adult life I’ve been hanging around this site. Not every day, sometimes not every month, but I always come back. Through high school, college, career, dating, marriage, and kids... Mefi has always been here for me!
posted by beandip at 7:14 PM on June 1, 2020 [4 favorites]
Joined in high school. Now I'm 32 and looking for a second career. Mefi has helped me be a more thoughtful person over the years.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:07 PM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:07 PM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
Ambrosia Voyeur! How the hell are you?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:04 PM on June 1, 2020
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:04 PM on June 1, 2020
I moved to Alexandria, VA.
We bought a house.
We had a son.
We moved back to Pittsburgh.
We had another son.
We got divorced.
I got married again.
We bought another house.
I stopped working.
Most of the big events in my life have been since I started on Metafilter, I guess.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:42 PM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
We bought a house.
We had a son.
We moved back to Pittsburgh.
We had another son.
We got divorced.
I got married again.
We bought another house.
I stopped working.
Most of the big events in my life have been since I started on Metafilter, I guess.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:42 PM on June 1, 2020 [1 favorite]
I lurked here for ages due to my frugality (read: cheapness), but when I finally signed up it was 3 months after my first child was born. We were living in Malaysia at the time, and since then...
Moved back to Korea,
Had two more kids,
Bought an apartment and promised we would stop moving,
Moved,
Bought two more apartments,
Became a permanent resident of Korea,
Finally got around to working on my PhD (still in process),
Hopefully became less of an asshole (thanks to you guys)
I'm in my 40s now and sometimes I wonder what happened. Like whoah, people actually ask me for advice now. I mean don't they realize I am just a kid? I don't know anything... And then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and am like... Oooh.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:44 AM on June 2, 2020 [4 favorites]
Moved back to Korea,
Had two more kids,
Bought an apartment and promised we would stop moving,
Moved,
Bought two more apartments,
Became a permanent resident of Korea,
Finally got around to working on my PhD (still in process),
Hopefully became less of an asshole (thanks to you guys)
I'm in my 40s now and sometimes I wonder what happened. Like whoah, people actually ask me for advice now. I mean don't they realize I am just a kid? I don't know anything... And then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and am like... Oooh.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:44 AM on June 2, 2020 [4 favorites]
I can remember the day $5 signups were opened, sitting in my office in Bishkek. Since then:
Went to Afghanistan
Moved to Bulgaria
Got married, got a son
Worked in fits and starts all over the place
Moved to Malaysia, got another son
Moved to Nova Scotia
Moved back Saudi Arabia
Moved to Tajikistan
Moved back to Malaysia
Moved to China
I used to be an asshole. I still am, but I used to be, too. Maybe the trick is just realising the asshole you were and gradually becoming a lesser one?
posted by Meatbomb at 6:31 AM on June 2, 2020 [6 favorites]
Went to Afghanistan
Moved to Bulgaria
Got married, got a son
Worked in fits and starts all over the place
Moved to Malaysia, got another son
Moved to Nova Scotia
Moved back Saudi Arabia
Moved to Tajikistan
Moved back to Malaysia
Moved to China
I used to be an asshole. I still am, but I used to be, too. Maybe the trick is just realising the asshole you were and gradually becoming a lesser one?
posted by Meatbomb at 6:31 AM on June 2, 2020 [6 favorites]
Metafilter has been pretty much the only constant thing in my life for the past 20 years. I joined in 2004, but had been reading a couple of years before in Israel, waiting for the signup gates to open. Unable to participate, I joined Monkeyfilter, waiting for the new signup page. I finally managed to get in, and I didn’t even have a credit card at the time to pay the 5 dollars. Now I have moved from India to Australia to Mexico, married, 2 kids, a tenured position in a state university here. Sometimes I still remember the parade of usernames from the past, who played such an important role in shaping me and my thinking.
posted by dhruva at 8:02 AM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by dhruva at 8:02 AM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
Man, everything has changed. Metafilter has helped inspire me to go to grad school, switch jobs, and go to therapy/a psychiatrist (I've picked a helluva day to start meds for anxiety and depression, here goes nothing), among other things. I have also gotten an apartment, moved into it with my partner, suffered various health things, made (and lost, maybe) friends... Lately I have been feeling like I have changed a lot on the inside, too, though I'm not sure how to express the differences eloquently. Mefi is a nice constant.
posted by ferret branca at 8:26 AM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by ferret branca at 8:26 AM on June 2, 2020 [1 favorite]
I met my life partner because of MetaFilter, because of a post someone made about Serena Williams. That is the most significant thing to have happened to me since I've joined MetaFilter. Aside from that, I've learned, laughed, & cried through my 20s and 30s. I've become a more empathetic and caring person because of the content and the comments from this community. I am a better person because of MetaFilter.
Huzzah to all of you. Also, a hearty congrats to you and your daughter bondcliff. :-D
posted by Fizz at 9:37 AM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
Huzzah to all of you. Also, a hearty congrats to you and your daughter bondcliff. :-D
posted by Fizz at 9:37 AM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
15 years of basically lurking on Metafilter changed me profoundly:
I woke up. Started actually paying attention to the world. Stopped voting Republican just because my dad did.* Learned to see things from the perspective of minorities and women. Grokked how sexuality, and really many other things in life are so rarely black and white -- and how beautiful all the gray can be. Came to understand how much of an advantage being a (mostly) straight, white male really is. Tried to become an advocate for those who don't have those advantages. Started donating to charities. Came to like myself.
Not directly related to MF but thanks in so many ways to all that personal growth: Stopped abusing alcohol. Started saving for the future. Bought a house. Got married. Had a kid. Bought another house. (Mostly) recovered from a stroke. Started a company. Still put two spaces after periods and still prefer it. I know html collapses them. It looks better in the edit box, kerning be damned. Now get off my lawn.
Thanks and congrats Bondcliff and all you other beautiful people. Just being here and listening to what people have to say makes you winners in my book.
* I admit I voted for Bush, but then Obama twice and Hillary. I don't think there's any way even back then I could have voted for Trump. Fuck that guy.
posted by SpookyFish at 11:45 AM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
I woke up. Started actually paying attention to the world. Stopped voting Republican just because my dad did.* Learned to see things from the perspective of minorities and women. Grokked how sexuality, and really many other things in life are so rarely black and white -- and how beautiful all the gray can be. Came to understand how much of an advantage being a (mostly) straight, white male really is. Tried to become an advocate for those who don't have those advantages. Started donating to charities. Came to like myself.
Not directly related to MF but thanks in so many ways to all that personal growth: Stopped abusing alcohol. Started saving for the future. Bought a house. Got married. Had a kid. Bought another house. (Mostly) recovered from a stroke. Started a company. Still put two spaces after periods and still prefer it. I know html collapses them. It looks better in the edit box, kerning be damned. Now get off my lawn.
Thanks and congrats Bondcliff and all you other beautiful people. Just being here and listening to what people have to say makes you winners in my book.
* I admit I voted for Bush, but then Obama twice and Hillary. I don't think there's any way even back then I could have voted for Trump. Fuck that guy.
posted by SpookyFish at 11:45 AM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
Wow, so much! I got divorced, sold everything I owned and traveled around central and south America for 5 years, helped found a tech startup and a nonprofit, adopted a dog, got engaged, and found a chosen family and overcame a major depressive episode.
Metafilter gave me insight into myself, and gave me an outlet to give advice to a community about things I care about and am interested in. I found support here when I needed it and met some awesome people. So grateful for this place and all of you!
posted by ananci at 12:44 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
Metafilter gave me insight into myself, and gave me an outlet to give advice to a community about things I care about and am interested in. I found support here when I needed it and met some awesome people. So grateful for this place and all of you!
posted by ananci at 12:44 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
Congrats, bondcliff and not so small anymore ‘cliff! I think you are a great dad, btw oh and also, your dad journey will continue and continue! And I wish I could say it gets easier but sadly it does not, really, just different.
When I found this place almost 20 years ago I was driving one kid to high school and the other to elementary. They are all grown up now and I think I might finally be too - and I credit Metafilter for a whole lot of that. Since then I’ve bought a house, sold a house, bought another house, dealt with family issues that left me with more PTSD than I even quite realized, moved across the country - and the choice of this place was almost entirely because I knew mefites were only a couple hours away - had multiple jobs and multiple stints of unemployment. I’ve made lifelong IRL friends and, oh, it goes on and on. Metafilter is a central part of my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
posted by mygothlaundry at 2:28 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
When I found this place almost 20 years ago I was driving one kid to high school and the other to elementary. They are all grown up now and I think I might finally be too - and I credit Metafilter for a whole lot of that. Since then I’ve bought a house, sold a house, bought another house, dealt with family issues that left me with more PTSD than I even quite realized, moved across the country - and the choice of this place was almost entirely because I knew mefites were only a couple hours away - had multiple jobs and multiple stints of unemployment. I’ve made lifelong IRL friends and, oh, it goes on and on. Metafilter is a central part of my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
posted by mygothlaundry at 2:28 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
I was already 37 years old when I discovered this place in the fall of 2000, so I can't say I grew up here, but I sure have grown old here. Twenty years is just a smidge more than a third of my life.
Our daughter was born about 8 months after I joined, and she just finished her freshman year of college. We sold one house and bought another one, only to lose it during the recession. I had a heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery at the age of 40. Tried to change careers from IT to personal chef, but discovered I was a better cook than I was an entrepreneur. Spent three years out of work during the aforementioned recession, and ended up back in IT. We bought a condo six months ago and moved from the town where we lived for 17 years. We love it, which is fortunate, because we've been stuck here 24/7 for three of those six months.
posted by briank at 2:30 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
Our daughter was born about 8 months after I joined, and she just finished her freshman year of college. We sold one house and bought another one, only to lose it during the recession. I had a heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery at the age of 40. Tried to change careers from IT to personal chef, but discovered I was a better cook than I was an entrepreneur. Spent three years out of work during the aforementioned recession, and ended up back in IT. We bought a condo six months ago and moved from the town where we lived for 17 years. We love it, which is fortunate, because we've been stuck here 24/7 for three of those six months.
posted by briank at 2:30 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
When I joined had been reading the site for years, and it seemed more like a place for me to belong than what I had previously tried on livejournal. My husband was so at home on his various forums, I felt left out but I never could figure out how to make that kind of community work for me.
I've gone years without posting, usually due to boughts of depression/anxiety, but I've always been reading and following along especially on MetaTalk and AskMe. Since 2005 I've lost a husband, a house, a dog, 5 cats (and gained 3 for a current subtotal of 2), and in the last few months a father and a grandmother. Even when I can't seem to make myself post, I still get a lot from reading this site and feeling like a (passive) part of the community.
posted by buildmyworld at 3:44 PM on June 2, 2020 [4 favorites]
I've gone years without posting, usually due to boughts of depression/anxiety, but I've always been reading and following along especially on MetaTalk and AskMe. Since 2005 I've lost a husband, a house, a dog, 5 cats (and gained 3 for a current subtotal of 2), and in the last few months a father and a grandmother. Even when I can't seem to make myself post, I still get a lot from reading this site and feeling like a (passive) part of the community.
posted by buildmyworld at 3:44 PM on June 2, 2020 [4 favorites]
Congrats to your offspring!
I was just thinking of you this week, bondcliff. First because we broke out the cornhole boards you gifted us when you and your lovely partner visited for our party. Then today when my mother-in-law stepped on the (still-broken) stair that I am grateful you didn't injure yourself on when it happened ... last year! I really need to attend to that.
On 4 June it will be my 20th MeFiversary. I visited and joined (I joined all things to claim my username at that time) because it popped up on my blogging radar. Likely it was ratbastard or sapphireblue or maybe it was bluishorange or wockerjabby who lured me here? But it is all of you that has kept me here.
I was 34 when I joined MetaFilter on 4 June 2000. I turned 54 last February.
Since then:
* In 2002 I met and married my partner with whom I am still madly in love and lost without.
* In 2003 we bought our first house in Silver Spring, MD, and a week after closing drove to Tennessee to attend Bonnaroo. I can still feel the sunburn.
* In 2004 I found my father dead in his home, and spent the entire summer going through his house and estate. Did I mention he was a hoarder? We also got our first dog, an adorable Boston Terrier, named Haley.
* In 2005 we flew to Vermont for the weekend, met and stayed with jessamyn, flew home, put our house in DC on the market, quit our jobs and moved to Vermont... without jobs. We rented a flat in Montpelier sight unseen (thank you jessamyn for the help). But we didn't leave without having a MeFi Meetup, which sparked a Meta thread. Oh, and we adopted another Boston Terrier named Mickey.
* In 2006 we bought our home in Vermont and started the process of turning it into a small farm. We started hosting visitors with Decani and idest visiting over the Independence Day holiday.
* In October 2007, bluishorange and Maude the dog (RIP) did their round the US roadtrip and visited us in Vermont. We had a MetaFilter Meetup at jessamyn's where I met Eideteker for the first time. There would be many more times! chrismear visited Vermont (we had a MeFi Meetup) and we took him up on an offer to stay with his family over Christmas that same year; and it was the best trip ever. We also got a lovely Boxing Day tour of Essex from essexjan herself, and an epic MeFi meetup from which I think I may still be recovering.
* In 2008 we built a small barn (locals call it a shed) and started raising rare breed sheep, and while we were at it we built a garage with a flat above it which we rented. We also had a lovely MeFi Meetup where I met googly and picklebird for the first time.
* In 2009 We returned to DC for the first time since 2005 and attended the 10th MetaFilter Anniversary Meetup.
* In 2010 we returned to England and organized another MeFi Meetup in London. We also spent some time in NYC and organized a MeFi Meetup.
* In 2012 my wonderful mother-in-law came to live with us and moved into the flat above the garage after the passing of her husband. Fuck Cancer.
* In 2013 we took my mother-in-law to England, Scotland & Wales. We had another epic MeFi Meetup but I took no photos. I also apparently was posting to Instagram and not often to Flickr. Our dog Mickey passed away.
* In March 2015 we went back to the UK this time to apprentice to become organic sheep and goatskin tanners. A month after we returned I broke my foot in 7 places and spent the entire summer on the couch. But that autumn, chrismear and greenish visited us in Vermont as a couple ... so we had a small MeFi Meetup! That fall turtlegirl opened the only organic tannery known in the US at the time.
* In 2016 we were honored to attend chrismear and greenish's wedding which was conducted by jessamyn, and it was beautiful. In sad news, our dog Haley passed away. In happier news we adopted Leo.
* 2017-2018 are a blur. I'm sure stuff happened.
* In 2019 we hosted a small MeFi Meetup at our place. The surprise guest was mathowie. Having had cortex by in 2009/10 (??) meant Matt's visit made the second owner and third mod to have been to our farm. We were really hoping restless_nomad was going to make it!
2020 has been shit, but knowing this place exists makes me happy.
Thanks for all the memories. Here's to all of you, and to those we have lost along the way. 🍺
posted by terrapin at 4:50 PM on June 2, 2020 [8 favorites]
I was just thinking of you this week, bondcliff. First because we broke out the cornhole boards you gifted us when you and your lovely partner visited for our party. Then today when my mother-in-law stepped on the (still-broken) stair that I am grateful you didn't injure yourself on when it happened ... last year! I really need to attend to that.
On 4 June it will be my 20th MeFiversary. I visited and joined (I joined all things to claim my username at that time) because it popped up on my blogging radar. Likely it was ratbastard or sapphireblue or maybe it was bluishorange or wockerjabby who lured me here? But it is all of you that has kept me here.
I was 34 when I joined MetaFilter on 4 June 2000. I turned 54 last February.
Since then:
* In 2002 I met and married my partner with whom I am still madly in love and lost without.
* In 2003 we bought our first house in Silver Spring, MD, and a week after closing drove to Tennessee to attend Bonnaroo. I can still feel the sunburn.
* In 2004 I found my father dead in his home, and spent the entire summer going through his house and estate. Did I mention he was a hoarder? We also got our first dog, an adorable Boston Terrier, named Haley.
* In 2005 we flew to Vermont for the weekend, met and stayed with jessamyn, flew home, put our house in DC on the market, quit our jobs and moved to Vermont... without jobs. We rented a flat in Montpelier sight unseen (thank you jessamyn for the help). But we didn't leave without having a MeFi Meetup, which sparked a Meta thread. Oh, and we adopted another Boston Terrier named Mickey.
* In 2006 we bought our home in Vermont and started the process of turning it into a small farm. We started hosting visitors with Decani and idest visiting over the Independence Day holiday.
* In October 2007, bluishorange and Maude the dog (RIP) did their round the US roadtrip and visited us in Vermont. We had a MetaFilter Meetup at jessamyn's where I met Eideteker for the first time. There would be many more times! chrismear visited Vermont (we had a MeFi Meetup) and we took him up on an offer to stay with his family over Christmas that same year; and it was the best trip ever. We also got a lovely Boxing Day tour of Essex from essexjan herself, and an epic MeFi meetup from which I think I may still be recovering.
* In 2008 we built a small barn (locals call it a shed) and started raising rare breed sheep, and while we were at it we built a garage with a flat above it which we rented. We also had a lovely MeFi Meetup where I met googly and picklebird for the first time.
* In 2009 We returned to DC for the first time since 2005 and attended the 10th MetaFilter Anniversary Meetup.
* In 2010 we returned to England and organized another MeFi Meetup in London. We also spent some time in NYC and organized a MeFi Meetup.
* In 2012 my wonderful mother-in-law came to live with us and moved into the flat above the garage after the passing of her husband. Fuck Cancer.
* In 2013 we took my mother-in-law to England, Scotland & Wales. We had another epic MeFi Meetup but I took no photos. I also apparently was posting to Instagram and not often to Flickr. Our dog Mickey passed away.
* In March 2015 we went back to the UK this time to apprentice to become organic sheep and goatskin tanners. A month after we returned I broke my foot in 7 places and spent the entire summer on the couch. But that autumn, chrismear and greenish visited us in Vermont as a couple ... so we had a small MeFi Meetup! That fall turtlegirl opened the only organic tannery known in the US at the time.
* In 2016 we were honored to attend chrismear and greenish's wedding which was conducted by jessamyn, and it was beautiful. In sad news, our dog Haley passed away. In happier news we adopted Leo.
* 2017-2018 are a blur. I'm sure stuff happened.
* In 2019 we hosted a small MeFi Meetup at our place. The surprise guest was mathowie. Having had cortex by in 2009/10 (??) meant Matt's visit made the second owner and third mod to have been to our farm. We were really hoping restless_nomad was going to make it!
2020 has been shit, but knowing this place exists makes me happy.
Thanks for all the memories. Here's to all of you, and to those we have lost along the way. 🍺
posted by terrapin at 4:50 PM on June 2, 2020 [8 favorites]
C'MERE GIMME A HUG YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLE
posted by not_on_display at 7:49 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by not_on_display at 7:49 PM on June 2, 2020 [3 favorites]
New job? New marriage? Divorce? A new scar? New dog?
One that I love (and you helped me secure)
One that I ended (and you laugh/sobbed with me)
One that had nothing to do with you. But knowing you were there if I needed you, helped me get through without much fuss (fuck cancer)
New cat
posted by Thella at 1:17 AM on June 3, 2020 [1 favorite]
One that I love (and you helped me secure)
One that I ended (and you laugh/sobbed with me)
One that had nothing to do with you. But knowing you were there if I needed you, helped me get through without much fuss (fuck cancer)
New cat
posted by Thella at 1:17 AM on June 3, 2020 [1 favorite]
Awww! Started reading mefi in 2007 in England, joined 2009 in France, then moved France to Italy to England and back to France for a third time! I have so many online and IRL friends from this site.
posted by ellieBOA at 1:49 AM on June 3, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by ellieBOA at 1:49 AM on June 3, 2020 [2 favorites]
Ahhhh did someone say come in here and get soppy cause lettssss dooooo ittttttt
I joined in 2008, a lonely musician in a city I'd just moved to, with a job I didn't like but felt trapped in, a relationship that was ok but wouldn't be for long, and a young, naive, ignorant brain.
I live in the beautiful countryside now, in a job I actually like, releasing music now and again and not stressing out too much about it.
MeFi educated me and still does, and gave me the confidence to talk about Big Stuff, but more importantly to listen about Big Stuff
MeFiMu gave me a sense of community even when I didn't have any musical comrades IRL
AskMe helped me out of my relationship when it went bad, and helped me help others out of theirs when they went bad. Not to mention helped me find gifts, open mic nights, and my people.
And IRL gave me a frickin husband and a kid, so.
*hearts for eyes at everyone*
posted by greenish at 9:12 AM on June 4, 2020 [6 favorites]
I joined in 2008, a lonely musician in a city I'd just moved to, with a job I didn't like but felt trapped in, a relationship that was ok but wouldn't be for long, and a young, naive, ignorant brain.
I live in the beautiful countryside now, in a job I actually like, releasing music now and again and not stressing out too much about it.
MeFi educated me and still does, and gave me the confidence to talk about Big Stuff, but more importantly to listen about Big Stuff
MeFiMu gave me a sense of community even when I didn't have any musical comrades IRL
AskMe helped me out of my relationship when it went bad, and helped me help others out of theirs when they went bad. Not to mention helped me find gifts, open mic nights, and my people.
And IRL gave me a frickin husband and a kid, so.
*hearts for eyes at everyone*
posted by greenish at 9:12 AM on June 4, 2020 [6 favorites]
I was 22.
I was scared of everything.
I wasn't ready to be diagnosed with any mental illnesses yet.
I was suicidal.
Now I am 32.
I am no longer afraid.
I have embraced my diagnoses and been on medication for 4 years.
Even when life is hard, I am willing to move forward.
I know my worth now.
posted by Kitchen Witch at 10:57 AM on June 5, 2020 [9 favorites]
I was scared of everything.
I wasn't ready to be diagnosed with any mental illnesses yet.
I was suicidal.
Now I am 32.
I am no longer afraid.
I have embraced my diagnoses and been on medication for 4 years.
Even when life is hard, I am willing to move forward.
I know my worth now.
posted by Kitchen Witch at 10:57 AM on June 5, 2020 [9 favorites]
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posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 8:24 AM on June 1, 2020 [10 favorites]