Communicating Wordless Appreciation May 21, 2019 6:59 AM Subscribe
the “.” is what we use in posts that memorialize people who have passed on as a way to signal “I’m at a loss for words” and it also signals “I’m here”. Is there also a use for a signal we can use in everyday posts that signals “I don’t have anything to add as a comment but I totally appreciate this”?
I’m starting to think that there exists a large and awesome hidden reserve of appreciation on this site, it’s just never signaled or communicated. I am also starting to think that online comments are biased towards people who wish to critically interact with a thing, and while critical analysis can be awesome and positive for honing in on finer grained understanding and uncovering deeper truths , it also can be draining after a while.
Is there a usefulness in a simple signal from someone which indicates “I read this, thanks, got a lot out of the FPP but I don’t have the energy or ability to add much to the discussion”?
I’m sure there are caveats and holes and that my thoughts are shortsighted in some way, just something I thought about and wanted to see if it has any merit at all.
I’m starting to think that there exists a large and awesome hidden reserve of appreciation on this site, it’s just never signaled or communicated. I am also starting to think that online comments are biased towards people who wish to critically interact with a thing, and while critical analysis can be awesome and positive for honing in on finer grained understanding and uncovering deeper truths , it also can be draining after a while.
Is there a usefulness in a simple signal from someone which indicates “I read this, thanks, got a lot out of the FPP but I don’t have the energy or ability to add much to the discussion”?
I’m sure there are caveats and holes and that my thoughts are shortsighted in some way, just something I thought about and wanted to see if it has any merit at all.
I use favourites for this.
posted by sohalt at 7:02 AM on May 21, 2019 [14 favorites]
posted by sohalt at 7:02 AM on May 21, 2019 [14 favorites]
This is the main way I use favorites—for posts and comments.
posted by bookmammal at 7:04 AM on May 21, 2019 [13 favorites]
posted by bookmammal at 7:04 AM on May 21, 2019 [13 favorites]
It's also just ok to say thanks for the post or thanks, I liked this. It's not a real requirement that you have to have something to add.
posted by bleep at 7:10 AM on May 21, 2019 [10 favorites]
posted by bleep at 7:10 AM on May 21, 2019 [10 favorites]
[+]
posted by Huffy Puffy at 7:11 AM on May 21, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by Huffy Puffy at 7:11 AM on May 21, 2019 [8 favorites]
Favorite button for comments/metatalk posts (my favorites on askme or blue posts are bookmarks), comments like "This is {positive adjective} , thank you for posting!" on the blue.
posted by Fig at 7:14 AM on May 21, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Fig at 7:14 AM on May 21, 2019 [2 favorites]
I like to write 'thank you, that was extremely interesting'.
posted by tavegyl at 8:04 AM on May 21, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by tavegyl at 8:04 AM on May 21, 2019 [6 favorites]
"This ^"
posted by aspersioncast at 8:28 AM on May 21, 2019
posted by aspersioncast at 8:28 AM on May 21, 2019
I would like to vote for words and favorites over insider symbols.
posted by prize bull octorok at 8:54 AM on May 21, 2019 [24 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 8:54 AM on May 21, 2019 [24 favorites]
This is great, thanks for making this post/discussion.
posted by Fizz at 9:02 AM on May 21, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 9:02 AM on May 21, 2019 [8 favorites]
I don’t have anything to add as a comment and I totally appreciate this.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:04 AM on May 21, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:04 AM on May 21, 2019 [4 favorites]
Once or twice I've gotten a comment along the lines of just "This is cool, thank you for posting this!" And let me tell you, it makes my day when that happens. No need to get more elaborate than that.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:07 AM on May 21, 2019 [34 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:07 AM on May 21, 2019 [34 favorites]
“I don’t have anything to add as a comment but I totally appreciate this”?
I'm of the opinion that "Thank you" or "thanks for this" work pretty well on their own or in conjunction something like the following:
"I enjoyed reading/watching/listening to/playing/exploring this."
"Nifty!"
"Cool."
"This is lovely."
"This is hilarious."
"I learned a lot."
"This was informative."
On the more profound end:
"This has forever changed how I..." (Dear reader, it was valkane's grilled cheese technique).
I guess it's just nice to say "thank you" sometimes?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:35 AM on May 21, 2019 [9 favorites]
I'm of the opinion that "Thank you" or "thanks for this" work pretty well on their own or in conjunction something like the following:
"I enjoyed reading/watching/listening to/playing/exploring this."
"Nifty!"
"Cool."
"This is lovely."
"This is hilarious."
"I learned a lot."
"This was informative."
On the more profound end:
"This has forever changed how I..." (Dear reader, it was valkane's grilled cheese technique).
I guess it's just nice to say "thank you" sometimes?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:35 AM on May 21, 2019 [9 favorites]
I would like to vote for words and favorites over insider symbols.
Me too. Can we do more of this in comments?
I don't care what the signal is. I'm just longing for more appreciation to be shown when it is felt.
posted by nikaspark at 9:36 AM on May 21, 2019 [5 favorites]
Me too. Can we do more of this in comments?
I don't care what the signal is. I'm just longing for more appreciation to be shown when it is felt.
posted by nikaspark at 9:36 AM on May 21, 2019 [5 favorites]
Yeah, a lot of people use favorites for this -- it's quick, easy, helps highlight it for others, and makes it easier for you to find later.
Other stuff you can do:
- flag as fantastic: this doesn't let the person know, but nudges the mods to sidebar it, best-of blog it, and/or mention it in the podcast, which is a pretty awesome thing to have happen.
- share on social media: if I really love a post or comment, I make a point to post it to /r/metafilter, other sites I use, share it with folks I know, etc. See also joseph conrad is fully awesome's Flagged As Fantastic Twitter account for another great example (warning: contains Game of Thrones spoilers at the moment). Note that this has the added benefit of helping boost the site's visibility as a whole and potentially attract new users.
- write a MeMail: if you don't feel like commenting publicly, you can always message the poster directly. It's really not that different from saying thanks in the comments, but something about making the effort to contact them personally makes it extra special.
- add them as a contact: Like favoriting a person! They get notified you did it, and you have the option of seeing their activity in your sidebar. Plus it can be fun playing around with categories if you're so inclined (like with the Great Enspousening).
posted by Rhaomi at 9:37 AM on May 21, 2019 [14 favorites]
Other stuff you can do:
- flag as fantastic: this doesn't let the person know, but nudges the mods to sidebar it, best-of blog it, and/or mention it in the podcast, which is a pretty awesome thing to have happen.
- share on social media: if I really love a post or comment, I make a point to post it to /r/metafilter, other sites I use, share it with folks I know, etc. See also joseph conrad is fully awesome's Flagged As Fantastic Twitter account for another great example (warning: contains Game of Thrones spoilers at the moment). Note that this has the added benefit of helping boost the site's visibility as a whole and potentially attract new users.
- write a MeMail: if you don't feel like commenting publicly, you can always message the poster directly. It's really not that different from saying thanks in the comments, but something about making the effort to contact them personally makes it extra special.
- add them as a contact: Like favoriting a person! They get notified you did it, and you have the option of seeing their activity in your sidebar. Plus it can be fun playing around with categories if you're so inclined (like with the Great Enspousening).
posted by Rhaomi at 9:37 AM on May 21, 2019 [14 favorites]
I will leave a short comment (like “Very neat!”). This is a good question though. It’s interesting—if I read something linked here and find it not useful or wrong in some particular way, then I usually don’t pipe up or engage. For some users it seems to be the opposite; I’ve seen a few recent comments along the lines of “this article sucked / was dumb / is totally wrong” and I especially wanted to leave some praise there if I disagreed and felt the piece was good.
posted by sallybrown at 9:39 AM on May 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by sallybrown at 9:39 AM on May 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
I also try and leave comments along the lines of "This is great, thanks for posting", even if I don't have anything too exciting to say. I think this can especially help if nobody's commented on the post yet, to make it less intimidating for other folks to comment.
posted by ITheCosmos at 9:40 AM on May 21, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by ITheCosmos at 9:40 AM on May 21, 2019 [7 favorites]
I have a related question. Sometimes I read a comment that‘s cracks me up, and normally I‘d respond with „haha!“ or „that‘s hilarious!“
But I get the feeling this is Not How We Do Things Here.
So I guess my question is, would it come across as obnoxious? Can I just post to say I‘m laughing?
posted by Omnomnom at 10:03 AM on May 21, 2019 [3 favorites]
But I get the feeling this is Not How We Do Things Here.
So I guess my question is, would it come across as obnoxious? Can I just post to say I‘m laughing?
posted by Omnomnom at 10:03 AM on May 21, 2019 [3 favorites]
So I guess my question is, would it come across as obnoxious? Can I just post to say I‘m laughing?
I've seen people quote funny stuff and say "flagged as fantastic." Or just "holy shit" or "amazing" or "A+" or something. Personally, I find the specific examples of "haha!" or "that's hilarious!" to be sort of - I don't know, like a comment you'd get from an elderly aunt on Facebook - but I fully acknowledge that that's probably just me being a weirdo.
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:30 AM on May 21, 2019 [4 favorites]
I've seen people quote funny stuff and say "flagged as fantastic." Or just "holy shit" or "amazing" or "A+" or something. Personally, I find the specific examples of "haha!" or "that's hilarious!" to be sort of - I don't know, like a comment you'd get from an elderly aunt on Facebook - but I fully acknowledge that that's probably just me being a weirdo.
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:30 AM on May 21, 2019 [4 favorites]
this is Not How We Do Things Here
Speaking of, what's with the upside down quotation marks (eg, „haha!“) ? I've seen a few people doing that and I don't understand the meaning.
posted by Miko at 10:30 AM on May 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
Speaking of, what's with the upside down quotation marks (eg, „haha!“) ? I've seen a few people doing that and I don't understand the meaning.
posted by Miko at 10:30 AM on May 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
Can I just post to say I‘m laughing?
Yes! (with two exceptions: a. AskMe threads, where comments should be answers to the question, and b. the weird USpolitics catch-all threads, where to keep comment counts lower, we ask people to really stick to contentful updates and less chitchat).
IMO little expressions of positivity and appreciation are pretty much always welcome.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:37 AM on May 21, 2019 [4 favorites]
Yes! (with two exceptions: a. AskMe threads, where comments should be answers to the question, and b. the weird USpolitics catch-all threads, where to keep comment counts lower, we ask people to really stick to contentful updates and less chitchat).
IMO little expressions of positivity and appreciation are pretty much always welcome.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:37 AM on May 21, 2019 [4 favorites]
Speaking of, what's with the upside down quotation marks (eg, „haha!“) ? I've seen a few people doing that and I don't understand the meaning.
It's a thing in a lot of European languages - maybe posters who use them just have it as a default setting because they more often use a language other than English, or don't have an English-language keyboard?
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:39 AM on May 21, 2019 [7 favorites]
It's a thing in a lot of European languages - maybe posters who use them just have it as a default setting because they more often use a language other than English, or don't have an English-language keyboard?
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:39 AM on May 21, 2019 [7 favorites]
Speaking of, what's with the upside down quotation marks (eg, „haha!“) ?
They‘re perfectly normal quotation marks in my neck of the world! Yours look all wrong to me, heh.
posted by Omnomnom at 10:40 AM on May 21, 2019 [6 favorites]
They‘re perfectly normal quotation marks in my neck of the world! Yours look all wrong to me, heh.
posted by Omnomnom at 10:40 AM on May 21, 2019 [6 favorites]
Yeah, I favorite comments when I appreciate them, and when a full post doesn't seem like a favorite is enough I will post something like "This is great, thank you for sharing!" I think that's probably all you need to do. (And whenever that happens on one of my own posts I feel great, for what that's worth.)
posted by Caduceus at 11:17 AM on May 21, 2019
posted by Caduceus at 11:17 AM on May 21, 2019
My personal experience when I post threads is that I get a bit more of a mental lift in the moment from comments than from favourites, but favourites up my favourite count, and comments don't. So I like them both. "This is neat!" art posts often get about equal numbers of each from different people, so it's clear that there's more than one approach being used to saying that you like something. To me as a poster, any feedback is encouraging. I'd be happy with an emoji or a 'This is neat!' or a favourite.
As a commenter, I tend to go for 'Thanks, this is neat!' or something else very similar.
It's awfully easy to get a long discussion or a ton of favourites on MeFi by posting controversial content that plays to the community biases, so if we want to see more art posts and internet oddities then actively encouraging the people who post them is a good idea. It can seem weird in a thread with 10 'Thanks, that was neat!'s to add your own 'Thanks, that was neat!' but for posters, it can be really encouraging.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:45 AM on May 21, 2019 [9 favorites]
As a commenter, I tend to go for 'Thanks, this is neat!' or something else very similar.
It's awfully easy to get a long discussion or a ton of favourites on MeFi by posting controversial content that plays to the community biases, so if we want to see more art posts and internet oddities then actively encouraging the people who post them is a good idea. It can seem weird in a thread with 10 'Thanks, that was neat!'s to add your own 'Thanks, that was neat!' but for posters, it can be really encouraging.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:45 AM on May 21, 2019 [9 favorites]
I think also being seen as critical and serious and smart is perceived as a more ideal trait over just earnestly enjoying something, and that online culture glommed onto that kind of being super cool and not overly earnest thing early on.
I like ridiculous shit, I’m emo and twee as fuck, I’m overly earnest, I wear that on my sleeve, I’m always extremely back on my bullshit, etc.
I’ll do more in the comments to show that when I feel it.
posted by nikaspark at 12:05 PM on May 21, 2019 [18 favorites]
I like ridiculous shit, I’m emo and twee as fuck, I’m overly earnest, I wear that on my sleeve, I’m always extremely back on my bullshit, etc.
I’ll do more in the comments to show that when I feel it.
posted by nikaspark at 12:05 PM on May 21, 2019 [18 favorites]
I was taught as a kid not to waste the Serious Posters’ dial-up bandwidth by “AOLing” threads unless I had something to add. (What on earth I thought I was doing on Usenet back then, I have no idea.) I guess I’m still trying to unlearn that habit.
Also be sure to add enough newlines to the end of your post so PNews doesn't yell at you for having a quote be longer than your contribution at the bottom. And god forbid you top post.
* though actually those conventions happened for a reason and you should be considerate of the time of number of people reading your post besides the person you are quoting.
Related: Modifications to PNEWS to improve Usenet
Also be sure to add enough newlines to the end of your post so PNews doesn't yell at you for having a quote be longer than your contribution at the bottom. And god forbid you top post.
* though actually those conventions happened for a reason and you should be considerate of the time of number of people reading your post besides the person you are quoting.
Related: Modifications to PNEWS to improve Usenet
Everything posted to Usenet news is archived somewhere, forever. FOREVER!posted by Space Coyote at 12:53 PM on May 21, 2019 [2 favorites]
Do you have any grasp of how long that is? People are going to be able to
throw these words back in your face, at any time, for the rest of your life.
Are you really, truly sure you want to do this? [ny] y
I *do* wish it was acceptable to make appreciative comments on AskMe. Being able to say something like "Thanks for asking this question/I appreciate everyone taking the time to answer/I've learned a lot from this whole post, thank you" would be really nice. I know I've wanted to say things like that many, many times, and memailing 20 people to say thanks is.. effort-prohibitive (and I think would make me look like a weirdo).
Could we maybe consider something like this?
posted by ApathyGirl at 1:01 PM on May 21, 2019 [4 favorites]
Could we maybe consider something like this?
posted by ApathyGirl at 1:01 PM on May 21, 2019 [4 favorites]
I really am glad we don't trail posts and comments with a long string of "that was nice!" The quality of the content on the site so depends on a signal-to-noise ratio. We have a certain amount of fluff and chatter here, within tolerances, but I would not like to see that expand. I think of threads I sometimes see on Facebook - I follow of a lot of history pages, and often there will be some really interesting photo with a narrative or something and below it there is a note like "176 comments!" Here I go thinking "oh boy, 176 extensions and commentaries on this interesting content!" and what really happens is I end up reading "Gr8 post!" or "cool thanks for posting!" or "Wow!" 176 times. Let's not be that place. I like knowing that there is substance on the plate here.
A favorite will do it. If you just have to register your pleasure, try to add something to the conversation.
posted by Miko at 1:19 PM on May 21, 2019 [12 favorites]
A favorite will do it. If you just have to register your pleasure, try to add something to the conversation.
posted by Miko at 1:19 PM on May 21, 2019 [12 favorites]
What Miko just posted is the reason I rarely make positive comments. We've been discouraged from doing that for quite some time (bandwidth? snark? I don't know.). So to those who haven't been here long, and were wondering why appreciation is rarely expressed, see above. ^
posted by Lynsey at 1:24 PM on May 21, 2019
posted by Lynsey at 1:24 PM on May 21, 2019
There's no mod-side prohibition on this. Individual members may feel as Miko does but it's not an official line.
If we were being overwhelmed with short positive comments, it might make sense to push back on that a bit, but that's very very far from the situation here. Maybe it's happening on your other sites Miko but that's not here.
Right now the problem is in the other direction -- there are some great posts that only get a few comments total, and that can be discouraging to posters. Or they may only get kneejerk negative comments, since those are easy as pointed out above. Substance is great too, and by all means people should post substance when they have it, but sometimes all one has to add is appreciation and it's better for the site in the long run if posters feel like there's at least some appreciative uptake for their posts.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 1:44 PM on May 21, 2019 [16 favorites]
If we were being overwhelmed with short positive comments, it might make sense to push back on that a bit, but that's very very far from the situation here. Maybe it's happening on your other sites Miko but that's not here.
Right now the problem is in the other direction -- there are some great posts that only get a few comments total, and that can be discouraging to posters. Or they may only get kneejerk negative comments, since those are easy as pointed out above. Substance is great too, and by all means people should post substance when they have it, but sometimes all one has to add is appreciation and it's better for the site in the long run if posters feel like there's at least some appreciative uptake for their posts.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 1:44 PM on May 21, 2019 [16 favorites]
The Eternal September has trained us to think that earnest appreciation contributes little value. Maybe it's the equivalent of pocket change I don't know. But it also seems that the more words we use the more we open up an interactive experience to pedantic debate culture nitpicking disagreement that ultimately kills joy.
So, how do we encourage people to feel good about being contributors here.
posted by nikaspark at 2:00 PM on May 21, 2019 [5 favorites]
So, how do we encourage people to feel good about being contributors here.
posted by nikaspark at 2:00 PM on May 21, 2019 [5 favorites]
.
posted by sammyo at 2:29 PM on May 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by sammyo at 2:29 PM on May 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
Positive comments like "I liked this" are ice breakers to get a bigger conversation going. Sometimes people have to see other people doing the thing to know that it's OK for them to also do the thing.
posted by bleep at 2:41 PM on May 21, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by bleep at 2:41 PM on May 21, 2019 [8 favorites]
!
posted by bowmaniac at 3:39 PM on May 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by bowmaniac at 3:39 PM on May 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
I use favorites for this.
posted by greermahoney at 5:56 PM on May 21, 2019
posted by greermahoney at 5:56 PM on May 21, 2019
Yeah, I regularly get no conversation and very few comments on the things I post. Every "This is cool, thanks for posting" makes me more likely to post something again.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:59 PM on May 21, 2019 [15 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 5:59 PM on May 21, 2019 [15 favorites]
Communicating Appreciation - Use Words. In a lively post, a favorite indicates approval. Some posts are terrific, but don't generate a lot of comments, and I am likely to add a comment like That was a good read, thanks for posting or whatever, because the OP might not realize that the post was appreciated.
posted by theora55 at 6:16 PM on May 21, 2019 [10 favorites]
posted by theora55 at 6:16 PM on May 21, 2019 [10 favorites]
- add them as a contact: Like favoriting a person! They get notified you did it, and you have the option of seeing their activity in your sidebar. Plus it can be fun playing around with categories if you're so inclined (like with the Great Enspousening).
I've never had any idea what value adding as a contact had, so thank you for this!
posted by greermahoney at 6:33 PM on May 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
I've never had any idea what value adding as a contact had, so thank you for this!
posted by greermahoney at 6:33 PM on May 21, 2019 [1 favorite]
I like this idea! Hooray for positive comments!
posted by Secretariat at 6:57 PM on May 21, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Secretariat at 6:57 PM on May 21, 2019 [2 favorites]
I like favorites, but I appreciate and remember comments on what I post.
posted by MonkeyToes at 7:02 PM on May 21, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by MonkeyToes at 7:02 PM on May 21, 2019 [2 favorites]
Do you need to be seen as publicly appreciating the post? If not, you can MeMail the poster and thank them. Also, afore-mentioned favorites.
posted by Ideefixe at 7:56 PM on May 21, 2019
posted by Ideefixe at 7:56 PM on May 21, 2019
I do all of the above, in roughly this measure: In long threads, I'll favorite the thread. I will occasionally flag a thread as fantastic, as kind of a non-verbal cue to the mods that it might be worth side-barring. In threads with fewer comments I will sometimes drop a quick note thanking the poster. And I will sometimes send a MeFiMail applauding the poster, although I'm more likely to go that route with a comment I appreciate than with an FPP. Not sure why, really, but that seems to be the pattern.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:09 PM on May 21, 2019
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:09 PM on May 21, 2019
I don't care what the signal is. I'm just longing for more appreciation to be shown when it is felt.
As a stereotypically laconic Australian, I simply choose to interpret a lack of vociferous complaints as completely equivalent to full agreement and effusively expressed appreciation.
This method has the advantage of leaving me feeling appreciated even (and sometimes especially) when I don't say anything at all.
posted by flabdablet at 12:54 AM on May 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
As a stereotypically laconic Australian, I simply choose to interpret a lack of vociferous complaints as completely equivalent to full agreement and effusively expressed appreciation.
This method has the advantage of leaving me feeling appreciated even (and sometimes especially) when I don't say anything at all.
posted by flabdablet at 12:54 AM on May 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
,
posted by Cranberry at 1:02 AM on May 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Cranberry at 1:02 AM on May 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
Yeah, I regularly get no conversation and very few comments on the things I post. Every "This is cool, thanks for posting" makes me more likely to post something again.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:59 PM on May 21 [9 favorites −] Favorite added! [!]
Just to state this publicly:
I have freaking loved every post of yours that I've seen.
Seriously, interesting smart things I wouldn't have seen otherwise. Thanks.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:54 AM on May 22, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 5:59 PM on May 21 [9 favorites −] Favorite added! [!]
Just to state this publicly:
I have freaking loved every post of yours that I've seen.
Seriously, interesting smart things I wouldn't have seen otherwise. Thanks.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:54 AM on May 22, 2019 [7 favorites]
Do you need to be seen as publicly appreciating the post? If not, you can MeMail the poster and thank them.
Speaking for myself, I‘m always slightly alarmed if someone memails me (plus, I only check my inbox every month or so, cos there‘s this guy cortex who keeps spamming me.)
It‘s like if we‘re standing in a group and I say something, and then someone catches me away from the group just to tell me he enjoyed my comment. I appreciate the sentiment, but am a bit confused why this was so important. PMs always seems to give the words so much weight.
Anyway, just my reason why I don‘t memail for unimportant stuff.
posted by Omnomnom at 2:36 AM on May 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
Speaking for myself, I‘m always slightly alarmed if someone memails me (plus, I only check my inbox every month or so, cos there‘s this guy cortex who keeps spamming me.)
It‘s like if we‘re standing in a group and I say something, and then someone catches me away from the group just to tell me he enjoyed my comment. I appreciate the sentiment, but am a bit confused why this was so important. PMs always seems to give the words so much weight.
Anyway, just my reason why I don‘t memail for unimportant stuff.
posted by Omnomnom at 2:36 AM on May 22, 2019 [4 favorites]
/me basks in a glow of appreciation for deciding not to memail Omnomnom about that comment
posted by flabdablet at 4:11 AM on May 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by flabdablet at 4:11 AM on May 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
Right now the problem is in the other direction -- there are some great posts that only get a few comments total, and that can be discouraging to posters.
I agree it's not out of hand in the first direction, but I guess I don't necessarily think there is a big problem in the other direction. I mean, I'm not against the occasional 3-comment post where all the comments are "this was cool, thanks." I like those fine and have appreciated them as some sign I'm not hollering into the void. At the same time, more of that would start to feel like empty conversation for me.
I think I would rather see us cultivate resilience by encouraging users in the knowledge that even quiet posts are appreciated, always, than by encouraging an intentional increase in comments that are just registrations of a reaction as a means of validating the act of posting. Of course, as in so many things these days, I may well be a outlier dinosaur.
posted by Miko at 4:33 AM on May 22, 2019 [5 favorites]
I agree it's not out of hand in the first direction, but I guess I don't necessarily think there is a big problem in the other direction. I mean, I'm not against the occasional 3-comment post where all the comments are "this was cool, thanks." I like those fine and have appreciated them as some sign I'm not hollering into the void. At the same time, more of that would start to feel like empty conversation for me.
I think I would rather see us cultivate resilience by encouraging users in the knowledge that even quiet posts are appreciated, always, than by encouraging an intentional increase in comments that are just registrations of a reaction as a means of validating the act of posting. Of course, as in so many things these days, I may well be a outlier dinosaur.
posted by Miko at 4:33 AM on May 22, 2019 [5 favorites]
I get what you’re saying Miko and I don’t think your a dinosaur.
I also think though that you’re mischaracterizing “a sense of genuine appreciation and few words to express it” as empty conversation.
I agree we should avoid shallow platitudes. But also not every comment has to be sharp, clever and smart.
posted by nikaspark at 6:07 AM on May 22, 2019 [10 favorites]
I also think though that you’re mischaracterizing “a sense of genuine appreciation and few words to express it” as empty conversation.
I agree we should avoid shallow platitudes. But also not every comment has to be sharp, clever and smart.
posted by nikaspark at 6:07 AM on May 22, 2019 [10 favorites]
I mostly use favorites for this, but I too feel that we too often reward good posts with appreciative silence.
posted by hat_eater at 7:11 AM on May 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by hat_eater at 7:11 AM on May 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
Right now the problem is in the other direction -- there are some great posts that only get a few comments total, and that can be discouraging to posters. Or they may only get kneejerk negative comments, since those are easy as pointed out above.
Yeah, the time when I'm most likely to post "Thanks, this is great!" is when the main content of the post is unambiguously good and going uncommented-on, and some tangential issue is drawing a lot of heat. What I mean is "Fuck you, assholes. I know the author of the fourth supporting link is a controversial figure, but please shut up about that and read the main link which is good, actually." What I say is "Thanks, this is great!"
(Sorry I grew up in the Midwest I can't help it.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:18 AM on May 22, 2019 [14 favorites]
Yeah, the time when I'm most likely to post "Thanks, this is great!" is when the main content of the post is unambiguously good and going uncommented-on, and some tangential issue is drawing a lot of heat. What I mean is "Fuck you, assholes. I know the author of the fourth supporting link is a controversial figure, but please shut up about that and read the main link which is good, actually." What I say is "Thanks, this is great!"
(Sorry I grew up in the Midwest I can't help it.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:18 AM on May 22, 2019 [14 favorites]
Oh gosh yes. That is a very honest admission of a moment I too have had and it uh...may have been the inspiration for this meta?
I grew up in the Midwest too...
posted by nikaspark at 7:51 AM on May 22, 2019
I grew up in the Midwest too...
posted by nikaspark at 7:51 AM on May 22, 2019
(Now I’m doing the mental math in my head trying to discern exactly where the cultural lines between Midwest, West, the South, and Cajun are divided in, between and around the Dallas Fort Worth metroplex)
posted by nikaspark at 7:55 AM on May 22, 2019
posted by nikaspark at 7:55 AM on May 22, 2019
Right now the problem is in the other direction -- there are some great posts that only get a few comments total, and that can be discouraging to posters.
Honestly, I think I've been judging my posts over the last 8-10 years by this metric that I'm doing something right.
If there's more favorites than comments and most of the comments are generally [this is good] or whatever, and it doesn't start a huge argument or series of arguments - I take this as a sign that it's a good post.
posted by loquacious at 7:58 AM on May 22, 2019 [5 favorites]
Honestly, I think I've been judging my posts over the last 8-10 years by this metric that I'm doing something right.
If there's more favorites than comments and most of the comments are generally [this is good] or whatever, and it doesn't start a huge argument or series of arguments - I take this as a sign that it's a good post.
posted by loquacious at 7:58 AM on May 22, 2019 [5 favorites]
If you feel odd about dropping a small "thanks!" comment in a thread, you can also directly MeMail the poster (or commenter, if you enjoyed or appreciated a comment). I've received a few of these, and it's pretty nice (and doesn't "clutter" a thread, if you're worried your comment will do that -- but I don't think it will).
posted by filthy light thief at 8:17 AM on May 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by filthy light thief at 8:17 AM on May 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
exactly where the cultural lines between Midwest, West, the South, and Cajun are divided in, between and around the Dallas Fort Worth metroplex
One of my favorite culture shocks of moving to Texas was that they're firmly convinced Oklahoma is in the Midwest, that northernmost Texas might be too, and that Michigan definitely isn't.
Michigan, where I grew up, is just as firmly convinced of the opposite.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:21 AM on May 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
One of my favorite culture shocks of moving to Texas was that they're firmly convinced Oklahoma is in the Midwest, that northernmost Texas might be too, and that Michigan definitely isn't.
Michigan, where I grew up, is just as firmly convinced of the opposite.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:21 AM on May 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
I imagine some of that is due to perceptions and assumptions about what it means to be in the Midwest, or be a Midwesterner.
Possibly similarly, San Jose is about the mid-point of California, if you measure the length of California as a north-south dimension, versus tip-to-tip, yet the greater Bay Area is considered "Northern California," or NorCal, when I think it should be considered the Central Coast, which is a title claimed by folks in and around Santa Barbara up to San Luis Obispo. It's like the top half of the state doesn't really exist.
/derail
posted by filthy light thief at 9:33 AM on May 22, 2019
Possibly similarly, San Jose is about the mid-point of California, if you measure the length of California as a north-south dimension, versus tip-to-tip, yet the greater Bay Area is considered "Northern California," or NorCal, when I think it should be considered the Central Coast, which is a title claimed by folks in and around Santa Barbara up to San Luis Obispo. It's like the top half of the state doesn't really exist.
/derail
posted by filthy light thief at 9:33 AM on May 22, 2019
I think I would rather see us cultivate resilience by encouraging users in the knowledge that even quiet posts are appreciated, always...
Are they?
As someone who sometimes posts 'this is an artist I thought was neat', I sometimes can't tell. Typically those posts get about 14 each of likes and comments, but sometimes a few less and sometimes a few more. Every once in awhile, I get one that gets virtually no comments at all and I assume those ones are kinda duds and try to think about what people might not have liked about them so I can make better posts. I don't think silence indicates appreciation.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:00 AM on May 22, 2019 [5 favorites]
Are they?
As someone who sometimes posts 'this is an artist I thought was neat', I sometimes can't tell. Typically those posts get about 14 each of likes and comments, but sometimes a few less and sometimes a few more. Every once in awhile, I get one that gets virtually no comments at all and I assume those ones are kinda duds and try to think about what people might not have liked about them so I can make better posts. I don't think silence indicates appreciation.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:00 AM on May 22, 2019 [5 favorites]
I think you're all a bunch of decadent narcissists for enjoying conversation and appreciation outside of the privacy of closed doors and memails like god intended.
posted by bleep at 11:04 AM on May 22, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by bleep at 11:04 AM on May 22, 2019 [5 favorites]
It's a little overblown to suggest that peoples' appreciative responses to posts is keeping people from cultivating resilience. When something I post doesn't get many comments or favorites, I am not personally devastated and I do not have my resolve shaken. But I do like knowing that someone appreciated a thing or found it interesting, and I think it's that sort of feedback that keeps people posting interesting or weird things that aren't necessarily going to spark conversation or back and forth or outrage.
posted by ChuraChura at 12:01 PM on May 22, 2019 [12 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 12:01 PM on May 22, 2019 [12 favorites]
It's like the top half of the state doesn't really exist.
When I was a kid growing up in California, I had the same thought. But the explanation was, only the Bay Area and LA area exist. North and South respectively. The line between North and South is midway between those. The Northern half continues on a bit further from the middle than the Southern half does.
posted by ctmf at 6:53 PM on May 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
When I was a kid growing up in California, I had the same thought. But the explanation was, only the Bay Area and LA area exist. North and South respectively. The line between North and South is midway between those. The Northern half continues on a bit further from the middle than the Southern half does.
posted by ctmf at 6:53 PM on May 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
Before there were favorites we had [this is good]
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:27 PM on May 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:27 PM on May 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
> if you measure the length of California as a north-south dimension, versus tip-to-tip, yet the greater Bay Area is considered "Northern California," or NorCal, when I think it should be considered the Central Coast, which is a title claimed by folks in and around Santa Barbara up to San Luis Obispo.
I have a friend from Siskiyou County who politely yet firmly disabused me of the notion that San Francisco is truly Northern California. They feel that it is perhaps technically the northernmost end of the Central Coast, but also acknowledge that this is not quite a cultural or climate fit. Their determination IIRC is that it's okay for SF to consider itself affiliated with Northern California, but as an adjacent separate region.
posted by desuetude at 10:11 PM on May 22, 2019
I have a friend from Siskiyou County who politely yet firmly disabused me of the notion that San Francisco is truly Northern California. They feel that it is perhaps technically the northernmost end of the Central Coast, but also acknowledge that this is not quite a cultural or climate fit. Their determination IIRC is that it's okay for SF to consider itself affiliated with Northern California, but as an adjacent separate region.
posted by desuetude at 10:11 PM on May 22, 2019
Oh, anyway, I agree about the value of making appreciative comments for great posts that aren't generating a lot of discussion. A nice template could be a sentence simply along the lines of "Thanks for posting this, I enjoyed it/value it/am excited about it because [reason]."
posted by desuetude at 10:17 PM on May 22, 2019
posted by desuetude at 10:17 PM on May 22, 2019
“Hey, you’re a real hoopty frood, this FPP really showed me where my towel is”
posted by nikaspark at 10:26 PM on May 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by nikaspark at 10:26 PM on May 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
Back in the wayback day (before those newfangled favorites) we would post
[this is good]
for example
for things that we liked.
Right now the problem is in the other direction -- there are some great posts that only get a few comments total, and that can be discouraging to posters.
I think my problem with this statement is the "right now" part - I feel like that has always been an issue here.
posted by anastasiav at 5:24 AM on May 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
[this is good]
for example
for things that we liked.
Right now the problem is in the other direction -- there are some great posts that only get a few comments total, and that can be discouraging to posters.
I think my problem with this statement is the "right now" part - I feel like that has always been an issue here.
posted by anastasiav at 5:24 AM on May 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
my own personal metric- if there is no comment, and I like the link, I try and engage with the topic (as best I can with the time available!) to try and open up the conversation. If there are 1-2 comments saying some kind of 'this is good', I might post a 'this is good, thanks for posting' or 'I really like this' - if there are already 3 "this is great thanks" type comments I'll hold off and try and come back with some meaningful comment/discussion (to avoid the ye olde usenet laws, and also the 178 tagged people on FB style issue) If it's a long thread already I'll just be liberal with favourites, if I don't have anything insightful to add.
The reason I post "wee this is great thanks" type comments rather than insightful comments all the time is that I just don't have the emotional/mental bandwidth all the time, but I did appreciate the post, and want to express that.
posted by freethefeet at 5:43 AM on May 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
The reason I post "wee this is great thanks" type comments rather than insightful comments all the time is that I just don't have the emotional/mental bandwidth all the time, but I did appreciate the post, and want to express that.
posted by freethefeet at 5:43 AM on May 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
Yeah I guess I feel the historical standard works fine. It doesn't feel broken to me. I've posted plenty of "this is good" style comments and don't think they are a problem in and of themselves. I just don't think we need to expand this - we already have favorites as a symbol of wordless appreciation, and a certain amount of "great post thanks" is already a custom. I am not against that, I am just not sure we have much to gain by amplifying that.
But post what you believe in, and don't worry about how any individual post is received, too much. So much of MeFi's value comes in the aggregate and in the wide range of content choice available to users and members. The sum is much greater than the whole of the parts, and the reception of any one post is not a judgment on the site, the user, the value/knowledge/skill/hipness of the user, or the person as a human. Just post good stuff you find, early and often.
posted by Miko at 6:27 AM on May 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
But post what you believe in, and don't worry about how any individual post is received, too much. So much of MeFi's value comes in the aggregate and in the wide range of content choice available to users and members. The sum is much greater than the whole of the parts, and the reception of any one post is not a judgment on the site, the user, the value/knowledge/skill/hipness of the user, or the person as a human. Just post good stuff you find, early and often.
posted by Miko at 6:27 AM on May 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
Speaking for myself, I‘m always slightly alarmed if someone memails me (plus, I only check my inbox every month or so, cos there‘s this guy cortex who keeps spamming me.)
Ooh me too it gives me the willies, like if a stranger suddenly popped up in my house. Maybe some kind of hangover from bad online experiences in too-private spaces (not including my experience on Metafilter—there’s always That Person who sees private communication as a place to try and get too intimate or personal).
posted by sallybrown at 6:48 AM on May 23, 2019
Ooh me too it gives me the willies, like if a stranger suddenly popped up in my house. Maybe some kind of hangover from bad online experiences in too-private spaces (not including my experience on Metafilter—there’s always That Person who sees private communication as a place to try and get too intimate or personal).
posted by sallybrown at 6:48 AM on May 23, 2019
つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:13 AM on May 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:13 AM on May 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
I like posts that are just a cool thing that might not kick off a discussion. I do often end up leaving a tab open for weeks hoping to see a conversation start though.
posted by lucidium at 4:21 PM on May 23, 2019
posted by lucidium at 4:21 PM on May 23, 2019
Back in the wayback day (before those newfangled favorites) we would post
[this is good]
I still sometimes say "this is good" in a specific, pointed tone that's meant to imply the presence of square brackets, but I feel like the brackets might not always come across, which is why I mostly avoid talking and hang out on Metafilter instead.
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:38 PM on May 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
[this is good]
I still sometimes say "this is good" in a specific, pointed tone that's meant to imply the presence of square brackets, but I feel like the brackets might not always come across, which is why I mostly avoid talking and hang out on Metafilter instead.
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:38 PM on May 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
...feel like that has always been an issue here.
Worst link description ever.
posted by Space Coyote at 11:38 PM on October 22, 2003
From anastaiav' link.
Ya.geez rusty could get snip-E.
posted by clavdivs at 7:00 PM on May 23, 2019
Worst link description ever.
posted by Space Coyote at 11:38 PM on October 22, 2003
From anastaiav' link.
Ya.geez rusty could get snip-E.
posted by clavdivs at 7:00 PM on May 23, 2019
Okay imma say [this is frood] from here out to communicate my good feels
posted by nikaspark at 8:02 PM on May 23, 2019
posted by nikaspark at 8:02 PM on May 23, 2019
re: using brackets: does this cause a problem with screen readers ignoring it as potential HTML?
I *do* wish it was acceptable to make appreciative comments on AskMe. Being able to say something like "Thanks for asking this question/I appreciate everyone taking the time to answer/I've learned a lot from this whole post, thank you" would be really nice. I know I've wanted to say things like that many, many times, and memailing 20 people to say thanks is.. effort-prohibitive (and I think would make me look like a weirdo).
Sometimes someone will make a Meta post about this, and then add in a "what questions have been cool to you" line and a bunch of folk will add theirs. I always really enjoy this, both for learning about questions I missed (or if there wasn't an answer right away and it fell off my radar), and for seeing how a seemingly small/weird question had some big impact on a person.
I'm a big fan of the "This is a great post, thanks!"-type comments on the blue, whether it's because the post-as-a-post is great, or the subject matter, or the specific links, or however you want to qualify that.
posted by curious nu at 5:45 AM on May 28, 2019 [2 favorites]
I *do* wish it was acceptable to make appreciative comments on AskMe. Being able to say something like "Thanks for asking this question/I appreciate everyone taking the time to answer/I've learned a lot from this whole post, thank you" would be really nice. I know I've wanted to say things like that many, many times, and memailing 20 people to say thanks is.. effort-prohibitive (and I think would make me look like a weirdo).
Sometimes someone will make a Meta post about this, and then add in a "what questions have been cool to you" line and a bunch of folk will add theirs. I always really enjoy this, both for learning about questions I missed (or if there wasn't an answer right away and it fell off my radar), and for seeing how a seemingly small/weird question had some big impact on a person.
I'm a big fan of the "This is a great post, thanks!"-type comments on the blue, whether it's because the post-as-a-post is great, or the subject matter, or the specific links, or however you want to qualify that.
posted by curious nu at 5:45 AM on May 28, 2019 [2 favorites]
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posted by mbrubeck at 7:02 AM on May 21, 2019 [39 favorites]