136: 2017 year-end call-in show

January 6, 2018 4:45 PM

It's the call-in show! Jessamyn and a very sleepy moi chatter for a bit about site and life stuff in haphazard fashion, interspersed with a couple long strings of calls from a bunch of lovely and occasionaly slightly cheeky MeFites. It was a lot of fun and a minor pain in the ass to put together, and runs about 80 minutes total.

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Thanks to all the folks who called in (in approximate order of appearance and please forgive any addled username typos):

Chura Chura, hexydexy, hippybear, dig dug, MoveableBookLady, ellieboa, Oyeah, Dumsnill, Endotoxin, divabat, Janetland, scruss, ocherdraco, holmesian, Johnny Wllflower, h00py, the child we call Mini McGee, Celsius1414, josher71, Slappy_Pinchbottom, a mysterious poet, Samizdata, a literal anonymous lurker, Mchelly, dances to blue, bondcliff, rmd1023, Fizz, wallaber, rangerfinder 1.4, someone from Chile, Elephants Vanish, Wordshore, Stanczyk, not_on_display, mandolin conspiracy, Tiger bear, Gotanda, ignignokt, Songdog, languagehat, ktamas, alleged poet Claude Cooper, churl, the wrong kind fo cheese, gusandrews, LobsterMitten and her cat Ozzy, tacocat, Pallas Athena, and a whole pile of cheeky Sydney MeFites, with bonus songs at the end by valrus and rangefinder 1.4.

Other than that, the non-call-in parts are shorter than usual and all over the place, so:

some links!
- Kenji Dreams of Sausage by ultraviolet catastrophe
- a comment by kenjialt
- Riding a Time Capsule Up & Down by MovableBookLady
- OUR AUDIENCE INCLUDES by Sokka shot first
- Procedural Planet Generator by Zarkonnen (MeFi Post)
- Fractals in your Mastodon feed by suetanvil
- Dirtdirt.com Animated Advent Calendar by dirtdirt
- DECEMBER BEST POST CONTEST! FINAL AWARDS! by Eyebrows McGee
- Fanfare Errors / IMDB API Removed by frimble
- Was there an increase in the edit window's window? by cgg
- Metatalktail Hour: I want to get those stories recognized by hippybear
- Neural Networks and AskMe/MeFi by Omnomnom
- Who Are The Bloggers of Metafilter? by COD
- Art Garfunkel's reading list
- Jessamyn's reading list

posted by cortex (staff) to MeFi Podcast at 4:45 PM (85 comments total)

Cheeky Sydneysider represent!!
posted by taff at 4:50 PM on January 6, 2018 [3 favorites]

(You can’t handle the streuth!)
posted by taff at 4:51 PM on January 6, 2018 [3 favorites]

I have my phone weather app set to Celcius, so that makes me a nerd, I guess? Anyway, happy new year!
posted by SillyShepherd at 4:54 PM on January 6, 2018

*waves to divabat across Australia*.

I liked your white Christmas joke. Taff made a good racism joke in ours too, but someone accidentally pressed the 'stop' button on the recording halfway through so we had to edit it out.
posted by lollusc at 5:11 PM on January 6, 2018 [2 favorites]

so that makes me a nerd, I guess?

Or Canadian!
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 5:12 PM on January 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

Congratulations on the new shock mount, cortex.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:38 PM on January 6, 2018

I recall the failing struggle to find that phrase but not what nonsense I landed on in the process. Next time we definitely wait till a clean 8am to record.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:41 PM on January 6, 2018

geez, everyone on this site has an awesome accent!
posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 5:43 PM on January 6, 2018 [2 favorites]

I see what you did there
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 5:43 PM on January 6, 2018 [5 favorites]

“Suspension rig.”

Sounds like the new mount is working better than the winter hats!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:44 PM on January 6, 2018

Aww now I want to hear taff's joke!
posted by divabat at 6:00 PM on January 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

tacocat?
posted by chococat at 6:07 PM on January 6, 2018 [5 favorites]

That's what it sounded like to cortex apparently. I was like "Oh hey him and chococat should be friends!"
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 6:09 PM on January 6, 2018 [5 favorites]

well at least I got Stanczyk right this time
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:12 PM on January 6, 2018 [2 favorites]

well at least I got Stanczyk right this time

Way to stick the shock dis-mount.

*rimshot*
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:23 PM on January 6, 2018

butts
posted by not_on_display at 6:29 PM on January 6, 2018 [5 favorites]

Aww now I want to hear taff's joke!

It was just when his thoughts are red thoughts said, "We are going to read you the most Oz poem we could find"
Taff said, "No! It's probably full of racism!"
And I said, "It's okay, we are going to leave the racist bits out"
And she said, "Well it's not very Australian then, is it?"
posted by lollusc at 6:36 PM on January 6, 2018 [18 favorites]

Ocherdraco, you are so awesome and brave and cool. I admire the shit out of you and have long done so. Have a great 2018.
posted by smoke at 6:38 PM on January 6, 2018 [15 favorites]

Wow, kudos for not editing ours. We all thought you'd take out that last bit.
posted by lollusc at 6:59 PM on January 6, 2018 [2 favorites]

Shoot, I left a vm, but I'm not on the list.

(gotta go listen to the actual podcast now)
posted by Chrysostom at 8:15 PM on January 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

You are on the list! After josher71! I was listening along and was like "Wasn't that Chrysostom? How come he's not on the list!"
posted by smoke at 8:20 PM on January 6, 2018 [3 favorites]

Cheeky Sydneysider represent!!

Oh my dog we had had so much wine.

By the way, that poem excerpt was from “The Austra - laise” by CJ Dennis, circa 1908 ish. The dash is a stand in for your curse of choice.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:35 PM on January 6, 2018 [3 favorites]

They love you, Smoke, I heard them say that!
posted by Oyéah at 8:35 PM on January 6, 2018 [3 favorites]

My favorite podcast ever. You are all lovely folks
posted by wheelieman at 8:42 PM on January 6, 2018 [2 favorites]

geez, everyone on this site has an awesome accent!

I wonder if I have an accent. I don't feel like I do. But I spent 18 years in Texas and now 18 in Canada. Hmm....
posted by Fizz at 9:42 PM on January 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

So. I wrote the phone number down but did not write down what the number was for...found it much later and went, "wtf is this new mexico number about?" and tossed it. Super organized over here, go team.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 9:58 PM on January 6, 2018 [2 favorites]

It's moat-meal. KILLED ME. I am dying of laughter.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 10:09 PM on January 6, 2018 [5 favorites]

The dash is a stand in for your curse of choice.


Specifically:
Footnote to 1915 edition: "Where a dash (——) replaces a missing word, the adjective "blessed" may be interpolated. In cases demanding great emphasis, the use of the word "blooming" is permissible. However, any other word may be used that suggests itself as suitable."

So we used other words that suggested themselves.
posted by lollusc at 1:32 AM on January 7, 2018 [3 favorites]

oh no whose voicemail did i whisper BUTTS into if it wasn't the mefi call in line
posted by poffin boffin at 3:41 AM on January 7, 2018 [13 favorites]

oh no whose voicemail did i whisper BUTTS into if it wasn't the mefi call in line

I assume there is a very long list.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:55 AM on January 7, 2018 [2 favorites]

Slappy_Pinchbottom I loved your jokes!!!!! hahahahahaahahahahahah
posted by one4themoment at 5:34 AM on January 7, 2018 [2 favorites]

OOoo Stanczyk yours too... I kind of want a call in show where everyone tells their favorite joke now...
posted by one4themoment at 5:43 AM on January 7, 2018 [3 favorites]

I kind of want a call in show where everyone tells their favorite joke now...

Maybe we can have this in Spring? Might I suggest April 1st? It'd be something fun to look forward to.
posted by Fizz at 5:52 AM on January 7, 2018 [7 favorites]

That's a really good idea.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 7:14 AM on January 7, 2018 [6 favorites]

If, like me, you couldn't hear those jokes because the volume was too low, or couldn't understand them because for some reason I read them like a vegan coffeehouse slam poet who hasn't been able to find their ferret for two weeks, here is the captioning:

I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?
— Alexei Sayle

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries. It will fill you up but there’s no buzz.
—Russell Peters

The question you always have to ask yourself is, Is my depression back or am I just hungry.
—Sofie Hagen
posted by Stanczyk at 7:37 AM on January 7, 2018 [3 favorites]

I'm so jealous of mandolin conspiracy that I can hardly stand it.

[plays 45 C chords in a row]
posted by JanetLand at 7:39 AM on January 7, 2018 [9 favorites]

JanetLand, I am also in your situation. Literally can strum between 2-3 chords... am unsure how to proceed. Youtube scares and frightens me.
posted by DigDoug at 8:04 AM on January 7, 2018 [2 favorites]

That was great! I don't do podcasts, but I always listen to the call-in show, because it's so great to hear what my fellow MeFites sound like and what they have to say. And I especially love learning correct pronunciations; now not only do I know that dumsnill is "doom-snill," I have discovered that it means 'kind to a fault' in Norwegian, which is a great thing to have as one's moniker! A hat tip to Pallas Athena for quoting that great bit from Tennyson's In Memoriam, and to mandolin conspiracy for that wonderful rendition of "Ashokan Farewell" (and thanks again for Kotkin's Stalin—I've just started it, having read several other books to prepare, and it's even better than I expected). And come on, name those cheeky Sydney MeFites: I caught his thoughts were red thoughts and taff, and I'm sure the rest can be added. Thanks for doing this, and happy new year to all y'all!
posted by languagehat at 9:29 AM on January 7, 2018 [3 favorites]

I'm on the podcast! Anyone else not immediately recognise themselves heard outside your own head?!

Ocherdraco, we love you too. Here's hoping to a better 2018 all round.
posted by ellieBOA at 10:43 AM on January 7, 2018 [5 favorites]

But I spent 18 years in Texas and now 18 in Canada

Do you still have a pair of cowboy boats
posted by rhizome at 11:37 AM on January 7, 2018 [4 favorites]

I bought one pair of boots when I was 14. I wore them ONCE to a school party, never wore them again. Have never purchased any boots since then. It's just not me and that was me pretending to fit in.
posted by Fizz at 12:27 PM on January 7, 2018 [3 favorites]

Accents! I heard myself and was aghast. I sound like a Great-Aunt Matilda, who wears fingerless lace gloves and waves her lorgnette for emphasis. Sheesh.
posted by MovableBookLady at 12:31 PM on January 7, 2018 [8 favorites]

I'm so jealous of mandolin conspiracy that I can hardly stand it.

Evidently you've never hear what happens when I'm handed a banjo. Or a ukulele for that matter.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:44 PM on January 7, 2018 [4 favorites]

I think the permanent MeFi mall idea would be pretty nice during Secret Quonsar.
posted by janell at 12:48 PM on January 7, 2018 [4 favorites]

ocherdraco: ♥

churl: ♥

I hope everyone who's been sick or hurt or otherwise down is doing better.

"someone from Chile" = signal (he says it at the end).

Congrats endotoxin on your part in the mayoral race!

I especially love learning correct pronunciations

I've been saying Chrysostom's username wrong all this time. I'm glad to know how to say it now. Congrats on becoming an elected official, Chrysostom!

It sounds like LobsterMitten's cat is saying Hello Hello Hello.

I was too nervous to play chimes over the phone, so I chickened out and recorded the file and sent it to cortex separately. Thanks for including my song and the crickets all the way to the end. I loved all of the other music: C chord (it's an important chord!), the American classic Ashokan Farewell, the other American classic Gumby, original song (I think). I used to listen to Ashokan Farewell a lot with my parents; also I know the Gumby thing was done for fun but I really appreciated it too, because I used to sing the Gumby theme with friends in college and it would always cheer us up. Nice memories. (And I think it's wonderful that tacocat chococat played the music with his son.)

Anyone else not immediately recognise themselves heard outside your own head?!

It's been a while since I've heard my own speaking voice (and I think this was the first time I've ever heard it over a phone line) and I was like "Wait, that's me??? Oh dear."

I *did* love hearing everybody from all over the world, and the variety of messages, poems, jokes, and music. I think it would have been perfectly cool if jessamyn and cortex had called in with their own messages! Next time?

Thank you for putting this together, cortex. Suggested alternate title for this episode: "It Works in Your Web."
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 2:55 PM on January 7, 2018 [8 favorites]

If, like me, you couldn't hear those jokes because the volume was too low

This episode was a triple whammy: overloaded from end of year/start of year stuff, extra fiddly podcast with the several dozen files to load and cue and level, and me stuck at last on the bedamned newer version of Garageband that I'd been avoiding until my old 2011 iMac finally died and needed replacing.

All of which is excuses; the levels were certainly low and uneven. Will try and get shit sorted out a bit more cleanly next time.

Though will legit blame Apple for what now that I think of it was a quadruple whammy: the limiter effect that would have made it easier to get the levels up but not ear-busting was not operating to spec.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:46 PM on January 7, 2018

I've been saying Chrysostom's username wrong all this time. I'm glad to know how to say it now."

FWIW, it's how I say my username, but it's not the right way to pronounce the name of St. John Chrysostom. If you're ever in a position to say that out loud, it's more like: krizz-AWS-tum.
posted by Chrysostom at 7:51 PM on January 7, 2018 [1 favorite]

an update to my “hoping to be a bit more employed” thowaway comment: I am now! I just accepted a local organizer role with Makers Making Change, a nonprofit that connects makers to people with disabilities who need assistive technologies.
posted by scruss at 8:11 PM on January 7, 2018 [19 favorites]

I pronounce Chrysostom's username as ELECTED OFFICIAL.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 8:41 PM on January 7, 2018 [4 favorites]

Funnily enough, only in the last week did I notice the second 's' for the first time.
posted by rhizome at 8:47 PM on January 7, 2018

❤️❤️❤️
posted by ocherdraco at 9:03 PM on January 7, 2018 [6 favorites]

Oh, wow, that's me right there at the beginning. Hi everyone!
posted by ChuraChura at 9:17 PM on January 7, 2018 [6 favorites]

Funnily enough, only in the last week did I notice the second 's' for the first time.

It means "golden-mouthed" in Greek. Chrysos (χρυσός) = golden, tomos (τομος) = mouthed.

In his spare time from being one of history's huge assholes, St. John was apparently quite eloquent.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:44 PM on January 7, 2018 [4 favorites]

A likely story, and even so it'll be a long time before I don't see Chris O'Tom.

See also: chris24.
posted by rhizome at 11:09 PM on January 7, 2018 [4 favorites]

Getting through the rest of the podcast, hugs churl, and I am adopting "we are up to the task" as a new mantra.
posted by ellieBOA at 4:19 AM on January 8, 2018 [2 favorites]

> It means "golden-mouthed" in Greek. Chrysos (χρυσός) = golden, tomos (τομος) = mouthed.

One of the things I love about Russian is that the guy's name is Slavified as Иоанн Златоуст [Ioann Zlatoust], where Church Slavic zlato (Russian zóloto) is 'gold' and ust (obsolete Russian ustá 'mouth, lips') is 'mouth.' We should say "John Goldenmouth" in English!
posted by languagehat at 6:03 AM on January 8, 2018 [3 favorites]

Oh, I forgot to correct the Greek explanation: it breaks into χρυσο- 'golden' (the first part of a compound adjective is always a stem, not a nominative form) and -στομος '-mouthed,' from στόμα [stóma] 'mouth.'
posted by languagehat at 6:08 AM on January 8, 2018 [2 favorites]

Call in show? What wizardry is this?
posted by RolandOfEld at 10:05 AM on January 8, 2018

Thanks, languagehat. I was sure I'd hose something up with the Greek.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:41 AM on January 8, 2018

someone from Chile

Dude, I start and end with my username!
So offended, grumble grumble…

Love y'all anywho.
posted by signal at 12:51 PM on January 8, 2018 [3 favorites]

It's entirely my bad; there were a lot of audio files and boy howdy does my ability to proceed with care and research go down under those circumstances, and at a certain point I was just like "I need to get this podcast out" and just floored it. Affectionate apologies to everyone whose username got missed or mangled or otherwise goofed with in the process.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:03 PM on January 8, 2018

Absolutely not a problem, tacortex.
posted by chococat at 1:21 PM on January 8, 2018 [17 favorites]

Gosh thank you for the love & support in this thread y'all. After a long year in the doldrums, the last few months have actually been the start of an incredibly fortuitous upswing for me in both the Job and House departments that never could have happened without that kinda burn-down-my-whole-life moment a year ago. I still count myself among the lucky ones and my heart's with those who are still fighting to turn that corner. <3
posted by churl at 2:04 PM on January 8, 2018 [5 favorites]

What a great podcast and lovely bunch of voices and messages from people! Oh, those cheeky Sydney mefites.
posted by Secretariat at 2:30 PM on January 8, 2018 [2 favorites]

Fahrenheit, schmarenheit.
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:29 PM on January 8, 2018 [5 favorites]

This was the most heart-warming thing I've heard in a long time. And I learned so much: 1) How I pronounce MeFi is not how other people pronounce MeFi; 2) You all have either honeyed voices or glorious accents; 3) MeFites are even lovelier than I knew, despite going through some rough times this year. Happy New Year, MetaFilter!
posted by MrBobinski at 4:27 PM on January 8, 2018 [3 favorites]

I love the idea of a call in show full of jokes. I also feel like we need to get interrupting cow out of the way now, though. Mooooooo.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 2:44 AM on January 9, 2018

You guys are all making me mist up over here. It's great to hear everyone's voices like this. <3
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 11:11 AM on January 9, 2018 [1 favorite]

Can't wait for the video version!!
posted by JanetLand at 11:13 AM on January 9, 2018

Gum! By!

That was great. And much respect to those who had a really hard year and laid it all out on the phone line.
posted by ignignokt at 6:19 PM on January 9, 2018 [2 favorites]

The Sydneyaloions Ricklines gave a pop, yuh,
Memail the smockpants and set a dial up jaw chug at a smoke hole near D'twa-Have languagehat translate...yaee.
posted by clavdivs at 1:47 PM on January 10, 2018 [2 favorites]

The "Beanplating is a phrase outside Metafilter? Wow, beanplating is a phrase outside Metafilter! .....Oh, nevermind" thing reminds me of coming home the other night and grumping about someone I knew who had Engineer's Disease, and my husband was like "wtf are you talking about, #NotAllEngineers" and I was like, NO IT'S A THING, SURELY YOU'VE HEARD OF THIS.

And then I looked it up and of course this was the first result.
posted by mostly vowels at 3:52 PM on January 10, 2018

That is not Samizdata
posted by Going To Maine at 9:01 PM on January 10, 2018

I forgot to call! I kept telling myself to do it ever since the phone number was posted, and then I forgot! Gosh darn it.

It's OK, as witnessed last year, I talk like Maryland's answer to Ira Glass, so no great loss there.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 12:23 AM on January 11, 2018

(I just looked it up and apparently he's from Baltimore. What are the odds of a joke failing so catastrophically?)
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 12:24 AM on January 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

I'm so jealous of mandolin conspiracy that I can hardly stand it.

[plays 45 C chords in a row]
posted by JanetLand at 10:39 AM on January 7 [9 favorites −] Favorite added! [!]


JanetLand, I am also in your situation. Literally can strum between 2-3 chords... am unsure how to proceed. Youtube scares and frightens me.
posted by DigDoug

I humbly suggest a book by my mandolin instructor. It is super easy to follow and unintimidating. Assuming, of course, that you're aiming for Americana/folk/bluegrass and not like, Renaissance music.
posted by workerant at 9:28 AM on January 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

The Sydneyaloions Ricklines gave a pop, yuh,
Memail the smockpants and set a dial up jaw chug at a smoke hole near D'twa-Have languagehat translate...yaee.

So, the Sydneysiders have been talking, and we think this is about us, but... whaaaaa?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:40 PM on January 11, 2018

I think it’s something something about getting a land line sorted so we can submit a proper chat and Languagehat can translate because we’re incomprehensible. But also fabulous. ?
posted by taff at 4:57 PM on January 11, 2018

But the way, we apparently found a taker for Jadepearl's unwanted vibrator, via the podcast! The system works. I know you were all worried about how that nailbiter was going to turn out and I am exceedingly gratified that we could offer you a resolution.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:02 PM on January 11, 2018 [7 favorites]

I feel the need to jump in and explain that poor jadepearl was given it as a gag gift from an old workplace when she was in the States. When you meet jadepearl it’s obvious somebody thought they were being bloody hilarious and knew it would be hard for her to re-gift. Ha ha sucks to them, we sorted it!

(Also, it’s sooooo 1983 Sydney to give a gift like that. The Americans can shut up that we’re the vulgarians! )
posted by taff at 11:37 PM on January 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Finally got around to giving this a listen. Greetings right back at you, brave mefites. Maybe next time I'll give it a try. Like many others, I'm not a fan of the sound of my own voice.

I feel like the Sydney mefite approach could be playing with fire so wait and see I guess.
posted by Start with Dessert at 11:42 PM on January 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

I've made a couple of automated transcripts of this episode, from CMU Sphinx and Scribie. The Scribie take is ... not bad? It has good bits and some word salad.
posted by Pronoiac at 6:50 PM on January 22, 2018

some word salad

OMG, it's fantastic. The automated transcription doesn't do well with accents AT ALL. Some choice outtakes from the drunken Australian ramble:

"This is a bunch of me flights from sydney, australia, and we've opened drinking wine for several. I will fight you to the disagreement. Anyways ... those were robots."

"Because it's holidays, so we're gonna do around have smoke, who knew that comes to anything because he's like, a printer is on the body love."

"Actually, a man fights now made up inside at my house. So what we'd like to do is read you a section of the most. Also poe, we could find. Joy is bloody flatten, lie, his bloody short."

" Hit you fucking tip tray to a bloody staff. Bloody watchword. Be a straley. I'm actually a eylander."

posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:18 PM on January 22, 2018 [5 favorites]

Metafilter: ...ah fuck it
posted by rhizome at 11:35 AM on January 23, 2018

Hey, this is torture.
posted by ChuraChura at 12:24 PM on January 23, 2018 [3 favorites]