Looking for a comment about how life changes when you're good looking

August 22, 2017 2:49 PM

I've searched, and so has Lobster Mitten (thank you!) but though we both remember the post, neither of us can find it. Can you help?

I'm pretty sure this was in the past few months, and in my mind it was in a Metatalktail thread, though I might be totally wrong (Lobster Mitten thought it might actually have been an Ask answer).

I think the context was a thread discussing "What do you know that nobody else does?" and a male poster wrote about how, when he was in his 20s, he lost some weight and just by chance, that happened to make him very conventionally good looking. And suddenly his whole world changed - EVERYONE wanted to hang out with him, smiled at him, went out of their way to help him, believed everything he said etc. Then he reverted to being overweight in middle age and it all went away, but he had happy memories of that period of time and just how easy life was.

posted by penguin pie to MetaFilter-Related at 2:49 PM (11 comments total)

Was it this one?
posted by lyssabee at 2:54 PM on August 22, 2017

Thanks lyssabee, but no. This was definitely within the past year. It was written by a man, I'm pretty sure it was a comment rather than a post, and was in a thread of slightly dissimilar comments ie. they weren't all about weight/attractiveness - they were about a variety of other "things I have discovered in life that you guys might not know".
posted by penguin pie at 3:08 PM on August 22, 2017

FOUND IT.
posted by merriment at 3:11 PM on August 22, 2017 [9 favorites]

THAT'S IT! Thanks so much merriment, you're a star!
posted by penguin pie at 3:14 PM on August 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

Your clues were great! I'd seen that comment too and found it very striking at the time (although did I favorite it like a sensible person, noooooo). I was pretty sure you were right that it was in a Metatalktail thread and that it was fairly recent, so I just did a scan back through the last couple of months, et voila!
posted by merriment at 3:18 PM on August 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

What came to my mind was the AskMe question by someone who was convinced they were objectively quite unattractive. A lot of the answers said "have more self-confidence; I'm sure you're beautiful" or "beauty is from the inside anyway." But there were a few interesting answers from people, maybe people like the author of the comment linked above, who were convinced that the issue was real and were willing to grant the OP's premise and answer from that perspective. Ah, I found two threads along these lines, both of which seem pretty thoughtful on a quick glance: 1, 2.
posted by salvia at 4:06 PM on August 22, 2017 [2 favorites]

Actually, I was in my early thirties, but I've always looked younger than I am. I've been kind of amazed at the popularity of that comment. I thought people would think it was shallow and immodest. Perhaps they do. I doubt I would have ever offered it if this wasn't an anonymous account. It's allowed me to be more radically honest and vulnerable than I typically am outside of Metafilter. I'm kind of digging it. For what it's worth, this is a related Metatalktail hour comment about that same period in my life. I doubt that would have happened were it not for the "temporarily pretty" phenomenon.
posted by Stanczyk at 8:39 AM on August 23, 2017 [9 favorites]

Man, reading that comment makes me feel like my life has been boring as shit.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 3:05 PM on August 23, 2017 [10 favorites]

Ha, you and me both, shapes!

Stanczyk, I think the comment stayed with me because it felt rare to find someone who'd seen it from both sides and could verifiably say "Yup, in many ways (albeit some of them pretty weird), the beautiful people have it easier". Most people who experience that benefit are totally unaware that life's not like that for most people. Or they're aware but think it's because they're intrinsically deserving of it.

Long live the anonyconfessions if they're all this interesting!
posted by penguin pie at 3:45 PM on August 23, 2017 [5 favorites]

I spent a few years in my twenties splitting the year between two parts of the US. The one I grew up in, I was nothing special to look at, but in the other I was considered goodlooking, or at least sophisticated and sexy. I didn't expect this.

My memory of being the Pretty One is that everyone paid more attention to me than to the default woman, but also was a little... angry? Some of this is that I was wrongfooting the dynamics by not understanding what my role was.Men would offer me things I didn't want and get angrier when I didn't accept them. I didn't want a relationship, so I couldn't hide in coverture. It was lots easier than being unattractive, which I have been in a third place, but I prefer being average-plus.

So mostly I dressed way way down and hammed up "sardonic sidekick", but once I dressed West-Coast-style for a night out with people I trusted, and when I walked into the club the band went silent and the singer growled "Showtime!" and started up again. When I am old and grey and full of sleep and nodding by the fire I will remember that with pleasure.
posted by clew at 5:02 PM on August 23, 2017 [8 favorites]

Those are the same comment, except that one is using http and the other is using https.
posted by Shmuel510 at 10:18 AM on August 24, 2017 [1 favorite]