I am library, how do I do? July 30, 2017 6:55 AM Subscribe
Dan Hon has a Twitter thread going of neural network-generated Ask Metafilter questions.
Who among us has not asked, "What to do with my cat to suck my computer??"
posted by taz (staff) at 6:58 AM on July 30, 2017 [13 favorites]
posted by taz (staff) at 6:58 AM on July 30, 2017 [13 favorites]
"Where can I find a dog with this computer computer?" consumes most of my waking hours
posted by carbide at 7:15 AM on July 30, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by carbide at 7:15 AM on July 30, 2017 [7 favorites]
How do I get the cake?
You don't. The cake is a lie.
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:56 AM on July 30, 2017
You don't. The cake is a lie.
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:56 AM on July 30, 2017
I have indeed been wondering how do I tell my cat business.
posted by lazuli at 8:02 AM on July 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by lazuli at 8:02 AM on July 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
"Spirits. Dinner??" would, I suspect, be an extremely productive and useful thread.
posted by lazuli at 8:04 AM on July 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by lazuli at 8:04 AM on July 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
These are rad and Dan is rad. I'm already hectoring him to put together a Projects post.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:17 AM on July 30, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:17 AM on July 30, 2017 [12 favorites]
"What to do with a new scanner" asker needs to get together with "how do I tell my cat business?" asker.
posted by drlith at 8:27 AM on July 30, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by drlith at 8:27 AM on July 30, 2017 [9 favorites]
"Can I see it?"
I love this, thank you!
posted by Room 641-A at 8:48 AM on July 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
I love this, thank you!
posted by Room 641-A at 8:48 AM on July 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
How do I get my own sexual snacks?
Oh come on. This would actually be "I left my sexual snacks out for hours, during sex, then my partner(s) told me to get them some snacks. Are these snacks still good, and should I be mad at my partner(s)? Please do not recommend therapy or food hygiene classes."
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:12 AM on July 30, 2017 [24 favorites]
Oh come on. This would actually be "I left my sexual snacks out for hours, during sex, then my partner(s) told me to get them some snacks. Are these snacks still good, and should I be mad at my partner(s)? Please do not recommend therapy or food hygiene classes."
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:12 AM on July 30, 2017 [24 favorites]
Too much to an experience? , on the other hand, summarizes about 2/3 of all Ask posts.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:14 AM on July 30, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:14 AM on July 30, 2017 [3 favorites]
Cat Time Management self control disability
Pull the plug now Dan, the neural net is onto us.
posted by deludingmyself at 9:26 AM on July 30, 2017 [17 favorites]
Pull the plug now Dan, the neural net is onto us.
posted by deludingmyself at 9:26 AM on July 30, 2017 [17 favorites]
Cat Time Management self control disability
*nods*
posted by Wordshore at 9:26 AM on July 30, 2017 [8 favorites]
*nods*
posted by Wordshore at 9:26 AM on July 30, 2017 [8 favorites]
Oh, jinx, deludingmyself
posted by Wordshore at 9:27 AM on July 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Wordshore at 9:27 AM on July 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
“Any experiences in NYC with a restaurant?”
I keep hearing about this whole eating food in public thing and I was wondering if anyone has tried it out yet. Thoughts?
posted by Rock Steady at 10:51 AM on July 30, 2017 [10 favorites]
I keep hearing about this whole eating food in public thing and I was wondering if anyone has tried it out yet. Thoughts?
posted by Rock Steady at 10:51 AM on July 30, 2017 [10 favorites]
How do I get my body even?
I know, right?
posted by Room 641-A at 11:00 AM on July 30, 2017 [23 favorites]
I know, right?
posted by Room 641-A at 11:00 AM on July 30, 2017 [23 favorites]
These are amazing.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 11:34 AM on July 30, 2017
posted by Slithy_Tove at 11:34 AM on July 30, 2017
"Best way to sell my car bad wheels?"
Bowl of fruit, yo.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 11:34 AM on July 30, 2017 [19 favorites]
Bowl of fruit, yo.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 11:34 AM on July 30, 2017 [19 favorites]
How can I be food?
“The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line.... Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate.”
posted by Fizz at 11:48 AM on July 30, 2017
“The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line.... Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate.”
posted by Fizz at 11:48 AM on July 30, 2017
How do I get my body even?
Every goddamned day.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 12:09 PM on July 30, 2017 [19 favorites]
Every goddamned day.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 12:09 PM on July 30, 2017 [19 favorites]
Why does my programmer?
How do I stop this male?
The Asks that I never actually ask.
posted by Sequence at 12:33 PM on July 30, 2017 [13 favorites]
How do I stop this male?
The Asks that I never actually ask.
posted by Sequence at 12:33 PM on July 30, 2017 [13 favorites]
Jessamyn: are you sure you dont mean every other day?
posted by softlord at 1:27 PM on July 30, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by softlord at 1:27 PM on July 30, 2017 [5 favorites]
I absolutely would not be surprised to see "Looking for a salad for my new cat" or "Best way to see the weight of my brain?" on Ask Me.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 1:40 PM on July 30, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by Pater Aletheias at 1:40 PM on July 30, 2017 [6 favorites]
jessamyn: "How do I get my body even?
Every goddamned day."
Same as in town.
posted by schmod at 3:22 PM on July 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
Every goddamned day."
Same as in town.
posted by schmod at 3:22 PM on July 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
How do I get a career and sales and my boyfriend?
Eeyyup.
posted by Room 641-A at 3:35 PM on July 30, 2017 [5 favorites]
Eeyyup.
posted by Room 641-A at 3:35 PM on July 30, 2017 [5 favorites]
Any easy books for a bad desk?
Depends on how uneven the desk is...
Where can I get rid of a 5?
DTMFA.
Help me be a picture for stress.
It's been done.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:35 PM on July 30, 2017 [4 favorites]
Depends on how uneven the desk is...
Where can I get rid of a 5?
DTMFA.
Help me be a picture for stress.
It's been done.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:35 PM on July 30, 2017 [4 favorites]
Now train it on Cortex' deletion reasons.
posted by ctmf at 7:36 PM on July 30, 2017 [24 favorites]
posted by ctmf at 7:36 PM on July 30, 2017 [24 favorites]
Do I need to send my car with a picture to discuss a bad cat?
Remember those days? Now you can just stick the picture on Imgur and call it good.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:20 PM on July 30, 2017 [5 favorites]
Remember those days? Now you can just stick the picture on Imgur and call it good.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:20 PM on July 30, 2017 [5 favorites]
Bite California!
posted by gingerbeer at 9:07 PM on July 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by gingerbeer at 9:07 PM on July 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
How do I be too much?
Oh my god, these are the best.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:05 PM on July 30, 2017 [4 favorites]
Oh my god, these are the best.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:05 PM on July 30, 2017 [4 favorites]
Self-interest, but am quietly hoping it will at some point ask:
Why is my penis beaker full of cheese?
...as I can then retire with my work done here.
posted by Wordshore at 4:39 AM on July 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
Why is my penis beaker full of cheese?
...as I can then retire with my work done here.
posted by Wordshore at 4:39 AM on July 31, 2017 [3 favorites]
Metafilter: Any Cat Writers and Live Sound translation
posted by killdevil at 7:52 AM on July 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by killdevil at 7:52 AM on July 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
> Poem in Chicago?
Carl Sandburg is still the go-to I think. Even though laudatory lines like "Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat, / Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler" are dated for all kinds of reasons, it's a portrayal that rouses some fierce sentimental feelings.
posted by ardgedee at 3:59 PM on July 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
Carl Sandburg is still the go-to I think. Even though laudatory lines like "Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat, / Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler" are dated for all kinds of reasons, it's a portrayal that rouses some fierce sentimental feelings.
posted by ardgedee at 3:59 PM on July 31, 2017 [1 favorite]
“Any experiences in NYC with a restaurant?”
I keep hearing about this whole eating food in public thing and I was wondering if anyone has tried it out yet. Thoughts?
I gave it a try and it was messed up. Like... they gave me this sort of soft round rock? Smelled of wheat? And it had this weird gel on it, pale yellow and oily. Only in New York, man, I don't know how anyone can eat that stuff. Can't wait to get back home to Minnesota where all nutrients come in pill form.
posted by No-sword at 7:48 PM on August 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
I keep hearing about this whole eating food in public thing and I was wondering if anyone has tried it out yet. Thoughts?
I gave it a try and it was messed up. Like... they gave me this sort of soft round rock? Smelled of wheat? And it had this weird gel on it, pale yellow and oily. Only in New York, man, I don't know how anyone can eat that stuff. Can't wait to get back home to Minnesota where all nutrients come in pill form.
posted by No-sword at 7:48 PM on August 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
Really, none of these are "can I eat this?"
posted by madcaptenor at 6:12 AM on August 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by madcaptenor at 6:12 AM on August 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
I did not see this thread! I have added some of the favorites people mentioned here to the Medium post. I am glad people liked it :)
posted by danhon at 2:36 PM on August 4, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by danhon at 2:36 PM on August 4, 2017 [8 favorites]
I want to be a house. please.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:07 AM on August 7, 2017
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:07 AM on August 7, 2017
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posted by taz (staff) at 6:56 AM on July 30, 2017