#loveWins #mefi

June 26, 2015 2:40 PM

In light of the Obergefell v. Hodges ruling and the explosion of marriages, proposals, officiating proposals, I'm excited to hear about any mefites who are getting married or officiating! I've seen pictures all over twitter, but I'd love to share in the happiness this brings to our own little corner of the internet.
posted by boo_radley to MetaFilter-Related at 2:40 PM (80 comments total)

Coincidentally, my girlfriend and I announced our engagement on Monday. We're sort of pleased we got out ahead of this news - we were getting married before it was cool!
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 3:12 PM on June 26, 2015 [203 favorites]

Oh how wonderful! Congrats!
posted by rmd1023 at 3:19 PM on June 26, 2015

I just want to give my congratulations to everyone. I am so happy for this decision, so happy for equality, and looking forward to the day when inequality is something we describe to the young of future generations, to incredulous stares.

And I say this as a Christian, as a clergyperson, and as someone who deeply regrets the pain and grief caused by members of my extended family of faith.

I am going downstairs now to explain the decisions of today to my early teen and pre-teen children, that today is a good day, because brave men and women struggled and sacrificed to make it so.
posted by 4ster at 3:20 PM on June 26, 2015 [20 favorites]

If you're in the vicinity of Vermont and are thinking about having a knot tied, be sure to drop Jessamyn a line and see if she'd be available to get her Justice of the Peaceness on. She is pretty rad at wedding people.

I don't have her chops, but I do have a legit-in-the-eyes-of-the-law ministership from a website and I once married my sister. I'm in Huntsville, AL all summer, so if you're nearby and want to work something out and don't mind the possibility of the word "butts" appearing in the ceremony text, you can mefimail me and see if we can't work something out.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:29 PM on June 26, 2015 [20 favorites]

I once married my sister. I'm in Huntsville, AL

*ponders, deeply, the power of punctuation. And context.*
posted by infini at 3:37 PM on June 26, 2015 [123 favorites]

*throws rose petals at restless_nomad*
posted by infini at 3:38 PM on June 26, 2015 [6 favorites]

I once married my sister

Isn't this exactly what they said this would lead to?
posted by The Gooch at 3:41 PM on June 26, 2015 [44 favorites]

I stand at the ready to officiate for you, Ohioans!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 4:01 PM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

see if she'd be available to get her Justice of the Peaceness on. She is pretty rad at wedding people.

yes I said yes I will Yes.

Also churl can perform weddings and is in Portland OR. brecc is in OK. MrMoonPie has DC covered. And then there's bitter-girl (anti-eponysterical). Anyone else?
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 4:11 PM on June 26, 2015 [18 favorites]

I've never actually done weddings, but I got myself a Certified Clergy Member card from the Universal Life Church, which should be enough to perform them in New Mexico, and would be happy to use my powers to marry anyone who needs or wants that here. I'm in Albuquerque, though, so if you're outside of Rail Runner distance I'll need some advanced warning so I can figure out how to get wherever you are, but I would be happy to marry any mefites who may want or need such services.
posted by NoraReed at 4:28 PM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

Great minds think alike etc :) Just skimmed the main post. So, in Vermont there is Jessamyn. And in Oklahoma there is brecc and in Ohio there is bitter-girl.com and also cooker girl.

There's others; MrMoonPie has performed same-sex weddings, and more recently psoas has too. And probably lots more MeFites.

And came onto MetaTalk to suggest a thread where people who can officiate leave their details, but this appears to be that already-happening thread :-)
posted by Wordshore at 4:28 PM on June 26, 2015 [4 favorites]

I'm ordained by three different ULC congregations and the Church of the Subgenius, and am in Houston. I've not actually married anyone yet, but the potential is there (and I'm lined up to hitch a couple friends this Halloween). In a pinch, I can help.
posted by mrbill at 4:30 PM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

Now everyone can be miserable in situations that take years and big bucks to undo. Congratulations.

Seriously: I am really happy about the ruling!!!
posted by Mr. Yuck at 4:50 PM on June 26, 2015

Mazel tov to restless_nomad and all other newly federally approved mefites!
posted by brujita at 5:23 PM on June 26, 2015

ULC-ordained over here! C'mon, I really want to marry some folks!
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:39 PM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

Hey, I was directed over here after I posted this on the Blue:

Someone on reddit who had gone out of state to marry but who lived in a state that didn't recognize that marriage called to update their insurance after today's decision, and the insurance company offered to backdate the married-couple discount to the original date of the wedding and credit them the difference. If any folks on Metafilter are in the same situation and have any insurance information you're updating, you might ask if your insurer can do the same for you!

posted by Blue Jello Elf at 5:47 PM on June 26, 2015 [32 favorites]

Washington's already open, but if someone was waiting for national confirmation, I'm also ULC-ordained and eager to help a Mefite.
posted by CrystalDave at 5:50 PM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

Same sex marriage has been legal in Illinois for a while, but all the same, if anyone needs officiatin' in the Chicagoland area, I'm a card-carrying minister of the Universal Life Church and I will positively marry the fuck out of you.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:17 PM on June 26, 2015 [7 favorites]

Also churl can perform weddings and is in Portland OR. brecc is in OK. MrMoonPie has DC covered. And then there's bitter-girl (anti-eponysterical). Anyone else?

I can perform marriages in Maine and am happy to so. Email's in the profile (but we've had full marriage equality for a bit now, so nothing much is new here.)
posted by anastasiav at 6:23 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Wow, the world just seems a small but crucial amount less shitty today, doesn't it?
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:28 PM on June 26, 2015 [8 favorites]

As a guy who looks good in white and red, and who is an ordained ELCA (Lutheran) pastor, if you need someone in northern NJ, I'm ready and willing. This is a fantastic day and so happy for everyone getting engaged and/or married.
posted by Stynxno at 6:31 PM on June 26, 2015 [24 favorites]

Those are good colors on you Stynxno!
posted by latkes at 6:44 PM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

I gotta say, I was gay married before, a long time before the legal option seemed possible, and now I'm planning to get gay married again this Fall. Probably there are multiple factors but legal marriage just feels different. I have mixed feelings about the pleasures of State sanctioned relationships, and there was something differently romantic about the whole "We don't need no piece of paper from the City Hall, keepin' us tried and true..." thing, and plus I'm older, wiser, in a better relationship this time, etc, but all these qualifiers aside, it just feels like a more solid commitment. There's something very meaningful about the social/political/economic validation. I remember having to say "single" when asked my status in that old relationship - and doing so to someone at the phone company for example felt like this weird humiliation of an arbitrary loss of power. The knowledge that my marriage has meaning for everyone around me in a new way echoes in my own sense of meaning about the relationship. I certainly want to uphold the rights of people who don't get married (stick it to the man, long term unmarried couples!) but for myself I am grateful for the depth of commitment this engenders in me.
posted by latkes at 6:52 PM on June 26, 2015 [27 favorites]

Okay, you all win. I'm bawling. Ah, the glee and the support! I'm so grateful! I never thought I'd see this happen in my lifetime! This is momentous! And my (same-sex) partner is asleep on another continent right now and all I want to do is hold her and even let her snore at my head in celebration. I'll sniffle at you all instead until she comes home next week.
posted by houseofdanie at 7:18 PM on June 26, 2015 [22 favorites]

Also, I kind of want to do a wedding tour and get married by everyone.
posted by houseofdanie at 7:20 PM on June 26, 2015 [25 favorites]

I have a friend who is ordained in Alabama to officiate, and I am waiting on my own Universal Life Church ordination, as I can't find my prior one in any of my old email accounts. So, if anyone in the Birmingham, AL area wants to make it official, I'm happy to help!
posted by ndfine at 7:57 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Is this a bad time to ask who here can officiate a gay divorce?
posted by mudpuppie at 8:25 PM on June 26, 2015

I feel so common and uninteresting. :(
posted by mudpuppie at 9:09 PM on June 26, 2015 [6 favorites]

Gay divorce is only legal in 17 states. Be careful who you marry.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:34 PM on June 26, 2015

In my experience they prefer to be called "your honour".
posted by Lemurrhea at 10:00 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Also, I kind of want to do a wedding tour and get married by everyone.

THEY SAID IT WOULD BE A SLIPPERY SLOPE

WE KNEW IT WOULD LEAD TO THIS
posted by NoraReed at 11:35 PM on June 26, 2015 [12 favorites]

Lamenting the loss of the 24 Hour Church of Elvis now. The perfect venue for the light-hearted yet meaningful joining.

Yeah, Elvis performed.
posted by wallabear at 3:09 AM on June 27, 2015 [3 favorites]

Super SUPER happy for all the marryers!
posted by Joseph Gurl at 3:09 AM on June 27, 2015

I burst into tears yesterday when I checked my Instagram account and saw one of my best childhood friends posting photos while marrying his partner of more than a decade in Texas. Here they are ^_^

and if you read the comments on that second one you'll notice I was nearly his beard at university hahahaaaa. With full knowledge eh. We had so much fun. He's an awesome person and I'm so happy for them, I'm crying again.

Félicitations tout le monde ! C'est formidable !
posted by fraula at 6:52 AM on June 27, 2015 [11 favorites]

I once married my sister.

Me too! Also, I live in California where one doesn't have to pretend to be a minister. (We have a to-my-mind much more palatable option of registering as a county-deputy-for-a-day.)
posted by psoas at 7:11 AM on June 27, 2015 [7 favorites]

I just see the ULC credentials as a license to get particularly creative with the officiant outfit. We were married by a ULC roller derby girl who wore my best friend's very very fancy bluish-purple silk kimono, for example. And my friends' officiant this February had a punk rock thing going on...
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:02 AM on June 27, 2015

I'm marrying some friends in Wyoming in a few weeks. IN WYOMING. hahahahahaha SUCK IT CONSERVATIVES.

I travel a lot, but if anybody needs an officiant in one of those square states out west MeMail and we'll see if we can work something out. I've done a few weddings now - all same sex, actually - with some religious and some not. So I can marry people both ways - country AND western. teeheeheehee Sorry. I'm just so happy for everyone!
posted by barchan at 9:15 AM on June 27, 2015 [11 favorites]

Me! I can and will officiate in the greater Cincinnati area, and would possibly travel farther than that if my schedule permits!

I throw a pretty darned good wed-ing, if I do say so myself!
posted by cooker girl at 9:39 AM on June 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

I thought it might be nice to create a page on the wiki called Officiants, listing mefites who can perform a wedding ceremony. The page now exists but I haven't added anyone yet. Will be sending brief memails out this weekend to everyone who has commented in this thread in order to ask if they would like to be included.

If you want to be listed, please feel free to either add yourself, or memail me directly and I will do so.

Am not sure if the wiki supports sortable tables, but if it does, I'll put everything in one.
Otherwise, will list by geographic region.

So now the big question.... what information should be listed? I was thinking:
* Mefite Name (with a profile page link, so people can contact via memail)
* Location
* Licensed in ___ States Listing which ones)
* Ordained By (where applicable)
* Willing to Travel (Y/N)
* Notes

Have I missed any important info?
posted by zarq at 10:38 AM on June 27, 2015 [9 favorites]

The mefi wiki supports sortable tables! Very cool.
posted by zarq at 10:41 AM on June 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

I am also a ULC-registered wedding officiant/minister and am ready and willing to serve at your wedding anywhere in the North-Central California coastal area, Mendocino to SF and inland as far as Napa. Hit me up if you're ready to get hitched! Twu wuv!
posted by Lynsey at 1:21 PM on June 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

So how does this affect mefi enspousenating?
posted by desjardins at 1:24 PM on June 27, 2015 [6 favorites]

Greg, That's good to know, thank you. I'm going to include the field for now, but will include your explanation, too.
posted by zarq at 2:34 PM on June 27, 2015

Throwing my name in the hat as someone who is ULC-ordained and is willing to jump through the hoops to get fully registered here in New Orleans*, should anyone need an officiant who's probably taller than the participants and ... uh ... may end up tearing up in joy even if I don't know them that well.

*I'm probably about to do this anyway for some friends' wedding so I'd be happy to do it even sooner for yours.
posted by komara at 4:16 PM on June 27, 2015

Okay, Officiants is up and running and I added a link to it to the main page of the wiki as well. I've memailed everyone in this thread who offered to marry people to ask them if they would like to be added.

Jessamyn, your memail is off, so I didn't send to you. But if you would like to add yourself in (or have me do it) please do.
posted by zarq at 4:29 PM on June 27, 2015 [2 favorites]

So, after a decade of active contribution to this community, my all time favourited comment is about cortex's marriage habits? WTF I slave over gazillion linked posts, craft pithy perceptive comments, leave wisdom filled motes on questions... noooo... a random string of words playing on #2's grammatical laziness gets teh favs... meh...philistines
posted by infini at 6:07 PM on June 27, 2015 [6 favorites]

ok, pedantic people will point out its not technically the alltime favourite but still.
posted by infini at 6:10 PM on June 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

Added myself!
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 6:23 PM on June 27, 2015 [4 favorites]

Thank you!
posted by zarq at 7:05 PM on June 27, 2015

can we add religious tradition, and possible outside of the states?
posted by PinkMoose at 7:07 PM on June 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

Does "ordained by" not cover religious tradition? Genuinely asking.

Location should cover everything theoretically, but I will organize separate tables by country if anyone from outside the U.S. is added. No problem.
posted by zarq at 7:17 PM on June 27, 2015

Hmm I performed some weddings back in the 90s in Florida where all you need is to be a notary public. It was very gratifying. This makes me want to jump through the hoops to get cleared to perform them in Virginia.
posted by phearlez at 7:40 PM on June 27, 2015

OK, so should I add a "religious tradition" column to the page?
posted by zarq at 8:26 PM on June 27, 2015

Don't over think it, dogg.
posted by boo_radley at 9:10 PM on June 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

Okie doke. Thanks!
posted by zarq at 9:28 PM on June 27, 2015

as an anglican, the question of which churches will do weddings or not is really difficult, so having someone know and familar with the rigours of that service would be a mitzvah, i think it should be included.
posted by PinkMoose at 10:05 PM on June 27, 2015

You need to add MrMoonPie!
posted by easily confused at 10:57 PM on June 27, 2015

Thought it best not to add anyone without their permission. But I sent MrMoonPie a memail asking if he would like to be added.
posted by zarq at 11:02 PM on June 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

I've read through this thread and the one on the blue, and you people are awesome.
posted by teponaztli at 2:17 AM on June 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

OK I'm still making my way through the one on the blue. That's a lot of comments.
posted by teponaztli at 2:18 AM on June 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

My joy at equal marriage in general is only slightly tarnished by the fact that everyone got to the "way to bury the lede" joke about cortex marrying his sister before I did. Congratualations, marrying mefites, and felicitations to the mefites who are marrying them!
posted by running order squabble fest at 5:05 AM on June 28, 2015

Late to the party but I am ULC ordained, have officiated four weddings so far, and would be thrilled to do so for fellow MeFites be they same-sex, opposite sex, or otherwise. Located in Baltimore, Maryland, willing to travel.
I am best-suited to not particularly religious ceremonies. However we included a quick religious bit to appease one of the families in the second wedding I did, which took place in a beautiful old church used for various lefty activities, rock shows, etc. After the ceremony two different people approached to ask if I was the pastor there. This was very flattering but also very weird.
posted by zoinks at 8:58 AM on June 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

My eyes were already leaky after catching up on the blue, and now this? Sobbing.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:45 PM on June 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

There's also eviltiff. She quit her day job and turned pro. She's married over a thousand couples in DC, MD, and VA since then. She's not very active on metafilter so I sent her a note about this.
posted by peeedro at 4:48 PM on June 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm in NYC and am happy to officiate any and all weddings! I'm ULC-ordained so can officiate anywhere that accepts ULC clergy, though I'd prefer not to travel too terribly far. Also YAY MARRIAGE!
posted by bedhead at 5:22 PM on June 28, 2015

Also, I kind of want to do a wedding tour and get married by everyone.

The Great Enspousination Part 2: Electric Boogaloo
posted by Jacqueline at 10:58 PM on June 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

Mefites in Pennsylvania are probably aware of this already, but others in the vicinity may also find it handy to know that you don't need an officiant in the Keystone State - just apply for a "self-uniting" marriage license, find four witnesses, and you're good to go.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 5:48 AM on June 29, 2015 [3 favorites]

"self-uniting" marriage license

Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish, that's great.

According to wikipedia, one does not need an officiant to get married in Colorado, Pennsylvania, Washington DC or Wisconsin. I added this info to the wiki.
posted by zarq at 7:23 AM on June 29, 2015

I am not licensed in any way to perform marriages, but I've spent a lifetime perfecting how to Mary.
posted by maryr at 9:35 AM on June 29, 2015 [10 favorites]

I don't imagine anyone in the People's Republic is suffering from a lack of local officiants, but I'll throw my name in the hat, too. Bona fides: ULC certified, familiar with navigating the waters to get a one-day dispensation from the Massachusetts governor's office, recently officiated one of the last gay weddings to occur before it was nationally legal, already own fancy wedding-officiatin'-suit, am tall enough to be seen over the heads of the espousened, willing to be paid in favorites or beer.
posted by Mayor West at 10:08 AM on June 29, 2015

I'm ULC-ordained in NYC as well, and have performed weddings in the past that seem to have held up as legal... Perhaps Bedhead can clarify, but I thought ULC wasn't recognized in the five boroughs. I hope I'm wrong!
posted by AJaffe at 11:21 AM on June 29, 2015

I am neither licensed nor certified to officiate at your wedding, but I know some nifty bar tricks and I'm sure I'd be a huge hit at the reception.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 1:53 PM on June 29, 2015 [5 favorites]

Yeah, NYC just requires to to register. My uncle officiated my wedding in NYC and he's ULC-ordained, and all he had to do was fill out the paperwork. Looks like they even have an online form now!
posted by bedhead at 2:49 PM on June 29, 2015

In due time I'll be referring to this thread and perhaps reaching out to some of you :-)
posted by Annika Cicada at 4:38 PM on June 29, 2015 [8 favorites]

If anyone in the Tampa Bay area of Florida would like to get their wedding on, I'm a Notary and ordained by the Universal Life Church, both of which are valid in this state. Go figure! And, I work for martini's and free food!
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 12:00 PM on June 30, 2015

We self-united in Wisconsin in 1980, and are still married. I believe this exception accommodates Society of Friends and other religious groups who don't have a special "leader"/priest/pastor/shaman.
posted by Jesse the K at 8:15 PM on July 1, 2015

I'm available for Boston or Providence, but we've been at this for a while so I don't expect any takers :)
posted by French Fry at 7:13 AM on July 3, 2015

Espousisteryical
posted by luckynerd at 10:23 AM on July 5, 2015

We already had marriage equality in our state (New York) and already intended to get married eventually, but in honor of the decision, my girlfriend and I made our engagement official. She just got a MeFi account yesterday, so now I can jump on the marrying MeFites bandwagon. She is ligerpants.
posted by zorseshoes at 11:22 AM on July 5, 2015 [6 favorites]

I am not particularly active on here anymore, but wanted to chime in. I'm a ULC-ordained minister in Houston, TX and happy to perform weddings. No charge. I'd say I'd be willing to travel to just about any of the big cities in Texas, or even as far as New Orleans to do a wedding. So, yes, with a reasonableness asterisk.

On a more personal note, since I live in a Common Law marriage state, I think I basically married my husband the moment it became legal for us to do so on the 26th, even though he was in France with our daughter. Oh yeah, we have a daughter together, so the commitment level was sort of already there. But we'll have a ceremony and a party at some point, I'd wager in the next few months. So yay for that.
posted by jph at 6:21 PM on July 5, 2015 [2 favorites]