Secret Quonsar Thank You Thread!

November 14, 2014 4:00 PM

My dog just started barking at the UPS man, but I wasn't expecting anything. Or was I? Thank you, Matt Haughey, for the t-shirt (and baby gift to come, squee!!)! I spent several work hours contemplating my own quonsar's gift so I was totally thrilled to be quonsed while in the spirit of things! Secret Quonsar Thank You Thread 2014!
posted by aabbbiee to MetaFilter Gatherings at 4:00 PM (731 comments total)

I missed the 2013 thank you thread. So thanks to the person who sent me the photo and knickknacks.
posted by cjorgensen at 4:23 PM on November 14, 2014

Wow, #1 was #1! (I will probably be #114-ish.)

This usually comes up late in the thank-you threads, so I'm making an early request for photos if possible.
posted by Room 641-A at 4:39 PM on November 14, 2014 [4 favorites]

Oh wait - we can open them right away?
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 4:58 PM on November 14, 2014

For some reason I thought we had to wait until December / Xmas day.

I shipped mine off today - but will remain resolutely anonymous. Staunchly anonymous.

Seconding Room 641-A: photos if possible.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 5:00 PM on November 14, 2014

joseph conrad is fully awesome: "Oh wait - we can open them right away?"

It is entirely up to the recipient as to when they open their gifts. If you do choose to wait, it would be really nice to let us know so we can let your quonsar know that the gift arrived and that you are planning on waiting until the end of the week/after exams/Christmas.

This has the added benefit that if something in the present is perishable or very angry (see: marmosets, duct tape, an ipod filled with the stylish sounds of the JackRabbit Three's Justin Bieber tribute album), we can let you know it's better not to wait.
posted by julen at 6:15 PM on November 14, 2014 [9 favorites]

I started reading this all "wtf I've been a mefite for like seven years and mathowie never sent me a t-shirt" and then I saw the secret quonsar part and was like ohhhhhh.

Hooray for Quonsmas!
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:34 PM on November 14, 2014 [7 favorites]

this makes me sad because I apparently somehow missed the secret quonsar signup this year.

I want to be a backup gift person!
posted by treehorn+bunny at 9:43 PM on November 14, 2014

I haven't received mine yet, didn't really understand that I could remain anonymous -which is okay - but, I am proud of myself that I sent it out on Monday.

It's the only thing aside from getting dressed in the mornings that I have achieved start to finish this month !

Also another thing I seem to have misunderstood - are the gift giver and recievee not the same pairings? I mean the person I was assigned to give a present to is the one giving me a present - no?
posted by Faintdreams at 11:37 PM on November 14, 2014 [2 favorites]

treehorn+bunny: "I want to be a backup gift person!"

I've added you to the second list. I'm sorry you missed the email and the meta threads. :| I think we'll be following the same time pattern next year - signups the first week of November, if that's any help.

Faintdreams: "Also another thing I seem to have misunderstood - are the gift giver and recievee not the same pairings? I mean the person I was assigned to give a present to is the one giving me a present - no?"

Generally not. Quonsees are assigned randomly from a pool of like-minded region selectors. It is possible that your quonsee is the person quonsing you, but not commonly so.
posted by julen at 2:29 AM on November 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

treehorn+bunny, I missed it too. We could just quonse each other?
posted by Too-Ticky at 3:23 AM on November 15, 2014

We could just quonse each other?

Steady now, that's just crazy talk. Think about the elves you'll put out of work if you cut out the middle man.
posted by arcticseal at 5:10 AM on November 15, 2014 [11 favorites]

New start-up idea: quönsr.
posted by Room 641-A at 6:12 AM on November 15, 2014 [16 favorites]

Is it possible to mark this a meetup thread (or whatever it's called) so that it stays open throughout the Quonmas Season?
posted by zinon at 7:32 AM on November 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

Wow! Got some wonderful Seattle items from my SQ in Seattle. When one package revealed 'Exotic Mushroom Rub", I was starting to regret letting my 8 year old help me open the gifts. But it turned out to be something you put on chicken! Thank you so much for the goodies - can't wait to try them all.
posted by nightwood at 9:47 AM on November 15, 2014 [3 favorites]

OK. We will do an OOPS, I MISSED THE SIGNUPS post draw secret quonsar swap.

This will be the last last chance to quons this year.

You must memail me or email the secretquonsarswap account your: mefi name, real world name, address, guidance, and email address by Monday morning at 6 am EST (That is 39 hours away from this post). You will still have to shoot for the December 1 shipping deadline, and the rest of the usual rules apply, especially marmoset-related rules.
posted by julen at 10:32 AM on November 15, 2014 [12 favorites]

In the past I've shipped SQ gifts directly from the retailer ASAP, but that has meant I've not been able to add some other oddments that seem to make SQ really special. This year, I've had my quonsee's gift shipped to me so that I can add a few little marmosets extra trinkets before shipping it off to Quonsee.
posted by angiep at 1:18 PM on November 15, 2014

Is it possible to mark this a meetup thread (or whatever it's called)

I just did that. Not sure if it still works but I did it.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 1:52 PM on November 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

Is it possible to mark this a meetup thread

I wasn't sure if this would work, but pb says it will. So yay - good thinking, zinon!
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 2:09 PM on November 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

yay, thank you julen! I searched my email, I didn't receive anything, maybe my overzealous spam filter? MeMailing you now.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 5:22 PM on November 15, 2014

Great job, everyone!
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 9:33 PM on November 15, 2014

Stop the presses! There's more - I got Tom Douglas' Seattle Kitchen from my wonderful and generous Seattle SQ! Thank you whoever you are! I'll be cookin' like I live in the Pacific Northwest!
posted by nightwood at 2:14 PM on November 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

I would like to send some extra-special quonsar magic sprinkles to whomever drew mathowie, because I agonize over the perfect thing to send every year, and I cannot imagine how much more agonizing goes on when the person is internet famous/user #1.
posted by jeoc at 3:55 PM on November 16, 2014 [4 favorites]

jeoc: "I cannot imagine how much more agonizing goes on when the person is internet famous/user #1."

Just send him $5.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:44 PM on November 16, 2014 [13 favorites]

I have been quonsed!

Jetlagaddict got everything right! I have a variety of mini chocolate bars, all interesting flavors I've stopped and stared at in the store, but never could pick one to splurge on. Now I can taste them all!
I have a refrigerator magnet to add to my collection. (Yep, it's funny. :-))
And I have some cooking stuff I can't wait to use: craft beer spice rub and Thai ginger salt. Ginger salt! How did I not know that was a thing?

Jetlagaddict, you have made my Quonsmas a delight!
posted by erloteiel at 5:05 PM on November 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

In the past I've shipped SQ gifts directly from the retailer ASAP, but that has meant I've not been able to add some other oddments that seem to make SQ really special.

Yeah, I like just throwing in random dollar gift things, but that approach sure makes you appreciate how much shipping costs now. On a $20 item, shipping it twice costs another $20.
posted by smackfu at 5:41 AM on November 17, 2014

I've been quonsed - and since I hadn't gone outside yesterday, I walked out of my apartment door on Monday morning expecting a cold, wet, dreary walk to work and found a package. Oh yay! The walk was still cold and wet, but the dreary component had been reduced to nil as a result of the SQ gifts (which included an item from DiBruno's - a place that I miss from when I lived in Philly).

and there was even something for the kitties. and they were playing with it as I left.

THANK YOU!
posted by sciencegeek at 7:31 AM on November 17, 2014 [1 favorite]

I feel bad, my SQ wanted exotic stuff that he/she couldn't get where he/she lived. We live about 5 miles away from each other.

I tried my best. Box is in my car, waiting to me mailed. Maybe I should just drive it down there?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:27 AM on November 17, 2014 [11 favorites]

And now I'm back home and cat #2 is playing with the cat toy (he usually only goes for his stuffed mouse and balls of aluminum foil so this is an exciting new development)! Thank you so much Tangaroo. So much awesome and really so incredibly lovely to get it on a rainy November day.
posted by sciencegeek at 3:19 PM on November 17, 2014 [2 favorites]

I got a card from my (anon) SQ, with a note that a package is on the way from Spoonflower, a printer of awesome custom fabric! Very cool!
posted by mollymayhem at 4:08 PM on November 17, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm feeling rather clever, but it's entirely because my quonsee was nicely specific about the presents they would be happy with. Waiting for something to show up, then I can wrap it all up!
posted by xingcat at 4:59 PM on November 17, 2014 [1 favorite]

Came home to Autobiography of a Delicatessen all about Katz's! And I hear that there might be a present for my own cats on the way, too! Thank you, SQ!
posted by ChuraChura at 5:26 PM on November 17, 2014 [1 favorite]

Two of my three packages to my SQ have been delivered (so say Packagetrackr) but I'm not sure if the retailers also added a note saying who it's from...
posted by divabat at 8:17 PM on November 17, 2014

I'm super impressed by all of you forward-thinking people who've already posted things. I spent an hour looking at potential gifts on Amazon last night. Still nothing ordered for my quonsee, but I've got a lovely bluetooth speaker for the kitchen coming this way...
posted by MeghanC at 4:21 AM on November 18, 2014 [6 favorites]

The part of my gift that I ordered is coming today, so I will combine it with the part that I made and ship it across the seas soon! I'm so excited. My Quonsee has one interest that I share, and one interest that I know nothing about.
posted by Liesl at 6:33 AM on November 18, 2014

Thank you julen, I have received the name of my quonsee, it was in my spam folder! I'm going to quonse this person with all my might.
posted by Too-Ticky at 6:44 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

MeghanC: I spent an hour looking at potential gifts on Amazon last night. Still nothing ordered for my quonsee, but I've got a lovely bluetooth speaker for the kitchen coming this way...

I just want you to know that the purse I promised to send you at least three months ago will go to the post office with me when I mail my SQ present!
posted by Room 641-A at 8:17 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

So excited to have put my SQ present in the mail today. Now the unbearable wait for it to be delivered, and obsessive worrying about if my quonsee will like what I sent... < bites nails >
posted by gemmy at 9:17 AM on November 18, 2014

I have been Quonsed! I've been going through a really tough time and didn't know where I was going to be living when my Quonsar package was sent so I listed my best friend's address. Last night after work I got a call and she said that she had some mail for me, and I knew it could only be one thing! My Secret Quonsar looked through my posting history and got me some darling wooden bilbies, because this year I went on a hunt for someone to send me chocolate Easter bilbies from Australia (thank you web-goddess), and a bunch of treats and cookies for my chinchilla children. Thank you Secret Quonsar, you've made my day, my week, and made me smile again. Thank you.
posted by sweetmarie at 9:31 AM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

sweetmarie: yay! There's another one coming, though it's going to be a little while since it's coming from Japan and I don't even have a shipping confirmation yet.
posted by divabat at 10:53 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

Quonsgifts wrapped and shipped this afternoon; quonsee should have the package in 2 days. I'm excited, but also super anxious—I hope my first quonsing is a success!
posted by cellar door at 1:36 PM on November 18, 2014

I'm so impressed that people are quonsing each other already!

I have ordered my quonsee's gifts, but they need to come to me for wrapping & compilation before I send out. Should go out this weekend or early next week!
posted by firei at 1:52 PM on November 18, 2014

quonsing completed. in my family we don't do a lot of traditional gift giving anymore. I love the secret quonsar swap because it's a chance to exchange gifts with other people who really enjoy the art of gift giving. really hoping my quonsee likes their items!
posted by treehorn+bunny at 5:08 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Divabat, thank you for my prizes! I love what you chose and have already let my boys sample their treats.
posted by sweetmarie at 5:22 PM on November 18, 2014

Triceratops loves her catnip-filled monkey!
posted by ChuraChura at 7:51 PM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

I have quonsed.* Feels good to be early this year!
* That means "my gift is in the mail." **
** At least that's what I intended it to mean. ***
*** Can somebody please post a style guide for the usage of "to quonse" and its derivative forms? When I get a gift, have I been quonsed?

posted by rouftop at 11:44 PM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

I have been quonsed! Thank you to whomever sent me the wonderful clayfired fancy TARDIS oranament. I will be quonsing on Monday.
posted by KingEdRa at 12:24 AM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

I was mildly confused at first when I got a thing in the mail today - somehow I had forgotten that I would be getting a mystery present, and not just me giving somebody else a mystery present. Ha.

Thank you very much, brilliantine! This was a lovely surprise. I got this very cool bird print, which is exactly the kind of thing I like, and I think I even have a spare frame that's the right size for it. Yay!
posted by dreamyshade at 4:10 AM on November 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

mathowie, the beautiful wooden toy car arrived last night! It is so gorgeous, it will be hard to let our son get grubby fingerprints all over it (when he is old enough for grubby grabbing). Thank you!!

Style guide: I have been quonsed (received my gift); I have not yet quonsed (sent my gift), but I expect to do so this weekend after the pieces arrive and can be assembled for shipment.

A quonsar quonses on Quonsmas. A quonsee is quonsed on Quonsmas.
posted by aabbbiee at 10:51 AM on November 19, 2014 [8 favorites]

I have put the package in the mail! I couldn't send it super-quick delivery, though, so nobody get too excited.
posted by PussKillian at 12:23 PM on November 19, 2014

I ended up getting a bunch of smaller things and checking off most of the categories my quonsee listed as areas of interest. It was a little selfish on my part, too, because I love wrapping gifts and making little packages, so they'll even get a couple of handmade paper boxes they can reuse. I'll send it off tomorrow so it should get by Monday!
posted by Room 641-A at 12:30 PM on November 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

(handmade boxes made of paper, not handmade paper made into boxes.)
posted by Room 641-A at 12:34 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

The gift I quonsed should have been delivered today -- I hope it got there safely! I also hope I did an okay job; this was my first time.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 2:07 PM on November 19, 2014

Well, well, well. An unexpected package. I have officially been quonsed!

Thank you, Kostia! I haven't unwrapped the package yet - just peeked at the note. I can't decide if I have the willpower to wait, or if I should just rip it open[*] and dive into the promised book inside. Maybe I'm going to try to wait until all the parts (there are multiple parts???!!) arrive, at least.

Thank you again, in advance - I'll post an update when the suspense is over. For now, it's sitting on my desk in its neat gift wrap, tempting me...

[*] Metaphorically.
posted by RedOrGreen at 2:40 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yay! There are two more parts, one of which is a small package and one of which will just be an envelope. Merry Quonsmas!
posted by kostia at 4:29 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

One of the things I bought slipped behind something and was almost left behind but I saw it just in time and it's been reunited with the rest of the Quonsmas goodies!
posted by Room 641-A at 6:08 PM on November 19, 2014

I thought I was opening up new silk long johns and instead it was Chai Rock Candy and a lovely wooden key chain with a carving of a cairn terrier. Thank you whoever you are.
posted by cairnoflore at 6:28 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

That was me, cairnoflore! Glad you liked the gifts :)
posted by cozenedindigo at 6:43 PM on November 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

The rock candy is the best rock candy I have ever had...very spicy...they must make their own chai tea.
posted by cairnoflore at 9:04 PM on November 19, 2014

Hooray! I was Quonsared today by Fig. I am now the proud parent of a marimo! The letter it came with is so cute, it's written in first person from the perspective of the marimo itself. It comes with a tag on the jar and I'm supposed to name my marimo and write its name on the tag. Can I handle this kind of stress? Maybe I should spend an AskMe on it. I've never asked a naming question before. :) Thanks Fig!
posted by Mizu at 10:40 PM on November 19, 2014 [5 favorites]

Maybe I should spend an AskMe on it.

Yes.
posted by Room 641-A at 10:53 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

You're welcome, Mizu!
posted by Fig at 2:48 AM on November 20, 2014

Mailed! It should arrive Saturday.
posted by Room 641-A at 10:41 AM on November 20, 2014

Mailed, and I was sure that international packages got automatic tracking through the customs number so I didn't ask about tracking and it turns out they don't and the grumpy post office worker didn't offer it to me as an option like they usually offer everything under the sun which only reinforced my belief that tracking was included which means I don't have tracking after all which means I just have to hope and pray...
posted by Liesl at 12:30 PM on November 20, 2014

The postal worker asked when I wanted the package to arrive and I said Dec 1 and she burst out laughing. She said my choices were standard and pony, so of course I chose pony. Which is probably why it has taken the package two days to get halfway up the coast of Florida. But it will be in CA by 11/26, so go, little pony, go!
posted by danabanana at 1:14 PM on November 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

To whomever was my SQ - thank you so much! Love every piece of the gift, am eating one of the candies right now.
posted by gaspode at 6:18 PM on November 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm still working on my quonsee's gift. What would normally take a few hours is taking a little longer because of a strained rotator cuff. But it should be done this weekend! I will make the deadline!
posted by patheral at 6:49 PM on November 20, 2014

Fluxx! Cellar door got me Cthulhu Fluxx! I didn't even know there was a Cthulhu Fluxx. Next games night, things are gonna get squamous.

Little card box and some lovely tea, too.

Thanks, cellar door. Now I know why it's the loveliest phrase.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 11:19 PM on November 20, 2014 [5 favorites]

I just ordered my quonsar present online. I'm having it shipped directly to the recipient because I'll be out of town much of next week. However, I just realized that I forgot to add anything indicating this package has to do with me, MetaFilter, or secret quonsar. I think I'll wait a bit and then send a MeMail message explaining the situation.
posted by Area Man at 1:30 PM on November 21, 2014

She said my choices were standard and pony, so of course I chose pony.

My newest Mefi pony request is to have a fleet of little ponies to deliver our SQ gifts, because obviously that's the best use of a pony request!
posted by jetlagaddict at 5:21 PM on November 21, 2014 [4 favorites]

Quonsmas arrived here on Friday! JannaK sent me a copy of the game Huggermugger which I'd never heard of before. It looks like great fun and will be getting a workout with my gaming group very soon.

I'll be shipping a package off to my Quonsee on Monday.
posted by maurice at 3:32 AM on November 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Maurice, I'm glad it arrived, and hope you enjoy!
posted by JannaK at 4:21 AM on November 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Expecting to get the last bits for my quonsee today, and will mail it all out on Monday!
posted by easily confused at 6:00 AM on November 22, 2014

Oh, hooray! I am so, so glad you liked it, Mister Moofoo (and, just as importantly, that you didn't have it already). Enjoy!
posted by cellar door at 8:11 AM on November 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Mailed out my Quonsmas gift today!
posted by spinifex23 at 1:20 PM on November 22, 2014

I have quonsed! It should arrive on Monday.
posted by thomas j wise at 2:25 PM on November 22, 2014

I have quonsed. I hope the get it in time directly from the merchant. I am also sending something local, but can do that at a more leisurely pace.
posted by jadepearl at 1:27 PM on November 23, 2014

I have a package waiting for me at the post office. : ) Could it be Quonsmus?
posted by SisterHavana at 1:38 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]

AllieTessKipp, thank you so much for the cat toys, the gardening book, and the delicious candy. And I can't tell you how much I LOVE the needle felted animals that you made!! I am the proud owner of an amazingly toothy shark, an equally toothy crocodile, a bug-eyed starfish, and a neon pink octopus. I think I guessed them all correctly!! And the mini tote bag is adorable. You're really good at crafts. I'll try to post a photo of the animals sometime soon; they are absolutely DELIGHTFUL.

Thank you for making this season brighter, and for giving my strange bowl full of broken seashells a real purpose for being out on display.
posted by sockermom at 7:10 PM on November 23, 2014 [3 favorites]

I am unduly proud of myself, as I have Quonsed as of Friday - meaning instead of being woefully late (as in the past), I was actually early!
The deadline worked - thanks!
posted by dbmcd at 8:17 PM on November 23, 2014

I was having a dilemma about my quonsing, but I went this weekend and found the perfect Quonsmas gift for my quonsee!!! I am super excited! Should be in the mail tomorrow morning after some minor modification and personalization! Woo! I love Quonsmas!
posted by Sophie1 at 6:23 AM on November 24, 2014

You are most welcome, sockermom! I had so much fun making all the things. I'm glad you like the animals. :) And yes, you guessed them all correctly! :)

I only just barely kept myself from making a giraffe (would not fit in the smaller box).
posted by AllieTessKipp at 7:54 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

My first ever Quonsing is now in the hopefully capable hands of the mail service. I hope my Quonsée will be pleasantly surprised. In any case, I had fun making and packing stuff and I'm having a merry Quonsmas already.
posted by Too-Ticky at 8:51 AM on November 24, 2014

!!! Thanks to ITheCosmos for the lovely tea. Haven't tried it yet, but it smells amazing :)
posted by aaanastasia at 9:34 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

I received my secret quonsar gift on Friday-- it was perfect and I want to say thank you so much-- I don't think I know who it was? I didn't see a card or anything, but the soap, candle and sachet are perfect. THANK YOU.
posted by oflinkey at 11:30 AM on November 24, 2014

My Quonsmas gift went out today (shipped direct from Amazon)! I hope they like it. I think it covers a number of their interests and hopefully they don't own it already!!
posted by Julnyes at 12:26 PM on November 24, 2014

I received my secret quonsar gift on Friday

That was me, sorry! I was in a rush at the post office and realized after I left that I didn't leave a note or anything. Glad you like it!
posted by backseatpilot at 12:33 PM on November 24, 2014

Amelliferae made my day (after a thoroughly craptacular week) with a wonderful gift that I received last Friday. I am particularly looking forward to opening many bottles of beer with my nifty new S-Biner bottle opener. Thank you!

I mailed what I hope will be a well-received package to my quonsee today. This is oodles of fun.
posted by cheapskatebay at 12:40 PM on November 24, 2014

I received a bag of dried mushrooms (2 kinds) and a bag of dried ginger as well as a bag of bath salts (not the zombie/cannibal kind). I suspect that my secret Quonsar works for google because this summer I joined the local mycological association and I have recently spent hours and hours reading about medicinal mushrooms and herbal cures in general. I couldn't be happier with this gift, thank you ilicet!
posted by InkaLomax at 1:02 PM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]

And, if that wasn't strange enough, I see that the particular kind of mushroom (black wood ear) is touted as lowering LDL cholesterol. I was at the doctor two hours ago hearing how I better get my levels in check or I will have to take medicine.
posted by InkaLomax at 1:13 PM on November 24, 2014 [5 favorites]

Finished my quonsmas shopping so I felt okay opening the package that has been sitting by the door the last few days. It was exactly what I wanted, thank you mysterious stranger!

(It's the glasses, not the beer, I had that already. :P )
posted by Drinky Die at 2:42 PM on November 24, 2014

Hooray! I was Quonsared today by Fig. I am now the proud parent of a marimo! The letter it came with is so cute, it's written in first person from the perspective of the marimo itself. It comes with a tag on the jar and I'm supposed to name my marimo and write its name on the tag. Can I handle this kind of stress? Maybe I should spend an AskMe on it. I've never asked a naming question before. :) Thanks Fig!

Well you can't call it "Aquatribble" because I just used that for the one I put in my fish tank.
posted by Drinky Die at 3:11 PM on November 24, 2014

The first of supposedly two (!!) packages from my Secret Quonsar has arrived, yay! A perfect book for me ("Watching Nature: A mid-Atlantic Natural History) that I can't wait to read. It even smells lovely, like a book should. Thanks so much, secret benefactor. I'm super happy.
posted by gemmy at 3:12 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

I quonsed this morning, so my quonsee should receive the package on Wednesday.....wheeee! this is so fun. :)
posted by firei at 4:58 PM on November 24, 2014

Quonsmus is here! Quonsmus is here! I went to the post office today and picked up a Quonsmus box full of goodies from Room 641-A! Everything was packaged so nicely. I got a Lush goodie, candies, tea, and Linus (dog) and Chaplin (cat) each got a toy. : ) I love everything, Room 641-A! It really improved a cold, crummy day. Thank you! Linus and Chaplin thank you too. : )
posted by SisterHavana at 5:15 PM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]

Yay!! Happy Quonsmus to all!
Thank you to Nicole for the fancy specialty salts gift box that smells great from the bay leaves (there are also cinnamon sticks and whole nutmegs). I am looking forward to future deliciousness, omnomnom.
posted by tangaroo at 6:53 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

Mrs Pterodactyl! Thank you for the box of goodies! I am steadily working my way through the truffles and taunting my cat with the octopi. Where did you find that catnip? As soon a I opened the box Olive attacked the wee purple octopus viciously and I took it away when she got overexcited. She is a catnip aficionado but has never been high enough to try to eat the jinglebell on her collar...
posted by esoterrica at 6:59 PM on November 24, 2014 [5 favorites]

Thanks, sekrit Q! I got a quartet of fat quarters in prints that are relevant to my interests, including a lady motorcycle rider one! Super neat.
posted by mollymayhem at 8:24 PM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

It was me! It was me! I was idly surfing spoonflower, saw the lady motorcycle one, and knew she was perfect for quonsmas! I tried to choose some other orange and pink fabrics to pick up her accent colors, figuring you could find more neutral coordinates easily.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:41 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

Quons away! Just mailed some South Pacific goodies to my quonsee.
posted by orrnyereg at 9:44 PM on November 24, 2014

I sent my package off today, too. My quonsee gave me some good ideas as to what she likes, so I think she'll be happy. And I received mine last week - so thank you, whoever that was! I said surprises are good, and I was certainly surprised! (It never even crossed my mind to wait and open the package later.)
posted by jeri at 12:03 AM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

Where did you find that catnip? As soon a I opened the box Olive attacked the wee purple octopus viciously and I took it away when she got overexcited.

Yay! I'm so glad she liked it! Olive is GORGEOUS! I got the catnip off Amazon -- I guess they weren't kidding about it being top quality stuff. So glad this went well! Hooray! Happy Quonsmas to us all!
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 5:23 AM on November 25, 2014

My box was supposed to get to my quonsee yesterday - crossing my fingers that it made it!
posted by ChuraChura at 6:20 AM on November 25, 2014

I have quonsed! Quonsee, your package should arrive by Friday. Your guidance made it very easy to choose something for you.
posted by initapplette at 7:30 AM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

Hopefully mine arrived yesterday or today.
posted by JanetLand at 10:50 AM on November 25, 2014

Hey folks, there are a few folks to whom we've sent questions/clarification requests/etc from whom we have not heard. It'd be great if we could get those hopeful quonsars answers soon. Check your spam folders! Check your To Be Answered Later folders! Check your mail just in case!

Thanks!
posted by julen at 11:05 AM on November 25, 2014

For anyone who has not yet quonsed, I am here to tell you that your friendly neighborhood U.S. post office has Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer-themed boxes and padded envelopes -- yep, the Rankin-Bass kind :) So, uh, if you receive a cubic box featuring Rudolph and Hermey with a return address of Quonsar McQuonsmas...
posted by Madamina at 11:50 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]

My Quonsmas gift went out in the parcel mail today. Quonsee, expect a parcel from Canada on Monday! :)
posted by LN at 12:20 PM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

Well, I've found one part of the gift, and am debating on the other two to three parts.
posted by Gygesringtone at 12:59 PM on November 25, 2014

Alison! Thank you so much for the perfect gifts! The cuff arrived and I was all yay! gorgeous pictures of shells!! no! wait! not pictures but X-RAYS OF SHELLS! THIS IS AMAZING! Creative use of diagnostic imaging is one of my favorite things, and now I can wear a piece of x-ray art on my wrist. You have no idea how much this means to me. And then the dish arrived. The dish that has a beautiful historical medical anatomical drawing of a dissection of a human heart magically processed onto it by amazing craftspeople. The dish that broke my heart because it is so special. The cuff is sitting in the dish, waiting to be worn on Thursday, when I can show it to the people I love and explain the magic of Quonsmas and the wonderfulness of MetaFilter and people like Alison.

Again, Alison, thank you so very much! I will cherish these gifts forever.
posted by danabanana at 2:00 PM on November 25, 2014 [11 favorites]

I have Quansed. It'll get all the way across the country whenever the USPS feels like it.
posted by monopas at 5:31 PM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

Okydoky, it's mailed! Finally. Supposed to show up by Friday. I finished it a week ago! Mailing is the hardest part.
posted by Mizu at 5:43 PM on November 25, 2014

Okayyyyyy, this is weird: I mailed mine out on Monday; two days later, USPS tracking info says it's now apparently two states south of here --- but my Secret Quonsee is several states north.... hang in there, Secret Quonsee, it's theoretically headed your way!
posted by easily confused at 4:50 AM on November 26, 2014

My quonsee's gift is out for delivery today, and I was quonsed yesterday!

When I got home from work, I saw that there was a package in my mailbox and thought, "Yay, I bet this is from my SQ!" Then I saw the package was from a Mme. Quonsar in Philadelphia and thought, "Heh, I wonder if my SQ is the literally one MeFite I know who lives there. That would be so cool!" AND IT TOTALLY WAS. What are the odds?!

So infinite thanks to the wonderful Mme. ActionPopulated for sending me a lovely card, a Tupperware full of vegan sweet potato blondies, a bunch of amazing feminist zines, and a Philly-made spice blend that I have already discovered is totally amazing on grilled tofu. You are truly a MeFite after my own heart and I couldn't have dreamed of a better SQ package. <3!
posted by divined by radio at 6:19 AM on November 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

easily confused: "Okayyyyyy, this is weird: I mailed mine out on Monday; two days later, USPS tracking info says it's now apparently two states south of here --- but my Secret Quonsee is several states north.... hang in there, Secret Quonsee, it's theoretically headed your way!"

I see our first USPS weirdity has hit! One year, a package went from New Jersey to Boston via Texas. Another year, it went from Tennessee to Chicago to Tennesee to LA. Sometimes packages make it to an mid-point sorting station, like it so much there, that they hang out for a week, making friends with USPS personnel, consulting on new stamp designs, and sneering at people who think scotch tape will keep that package shut.
posted by julen at 8:04 AM on November 26, 2014 [11 favorites]

The only reason I can think of for it going south is, the box has decided it doesn't want to get anywhere near the about-to-hit developing snowstorm: it apparently said something to the effect of "danged if I'm gonna sit on some icy cold doorstep and get covered in snow!" and decided to head for a warmer state instead. Next year, I'm going to be sure to get a box that can't read the weather reports & will just go straight where its told.
posted by easily confused at 9:01 AM on November 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

I was quonsed on Monday! Thank you for the cozy cozy scarf!
posted by small_ruminant at 10:22 AM on November 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

I finally went to mail my quonsar present and it turns out the post office closed at noon today for the day before thanksgiving. I will attempt again on Friday.
posted by artychoke at 12:16 PM on November 26, 2014

Mine was sent. My quonsee wanted something local (as one option), but I live in Delaware, so that doesn't work too well; we're literally the most boring state in the country. I hope what I sent (something we'd bought this summer waiting for the right person to give it to) will make my quonsee* happy, but I'm anxious about it.

*No, autocorrect, I don't mine "quince."
posted by JMOZ at 12:24 PM on November 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

You don't want to set up a nice LLC for them?
posted by small_ruminant at 12:25 PM on November 26, 2014 [18 favorites]

Outgoing quonsmas present finally mailed! Should be there on Saturday - we'll see how long I can keep my fingers crossed!
posted by korej at 1:21 PM on November 26, 2014

Thanks to Claire for the teensy-tiny books! My teensy-tiny dollhouse bookshelves will appreciate them.
posted by thomas j wise at 1:29 PM on November 26, 2014

Now it's mailed! The post office in the 'burbs was still open. The post office person had no idea how to enter the Japanese address into the computer though so we'll see where it ends up...
posted by artychoke at 1:36 PM on November 26, 2014

IT HAS ARRIVED.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 3:27 PM on November 26, 2014

I mailed mine out today... quonsee, you should get it next week (pending any disastrous weather). Oh, and ignore the label inside... the FedEx people just kinda shoved it inside and put theirs on the outside. *sigh*
posted by patheral at 3:27 PM on November 26, 2014

(Going to see if I have the willpower to wait until Xmas day to open it...Also, my quonsee hasn't dropped by this thread to say they've received their package which worries me a bit. I've lost / misplaced the receipt thingie I got at the post office. :( )
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 3:29 PM on November 26, 2014

julen, Weirdities Abound!

I managed to send off the main gift-of-doom on time (only the 2nd Q-mas I have ever managed this, a True Quonsmas Miracle!) - almost 7 days ago, it began its journey to Darkest-Europa ((yes, yes, shut up #mefi, keep your stupid moon.))
currently i.e. Right Now, it shows that it simultaneously inhabits both central Ohio and central Kentucky. tf?

then, on some sort of bastardly whim, I scraped together some backup / オマケ / おまけ / bonus sort of wrong-thing, and mailed that off as well. now, the tracking on that thing is truly mind-bogglingly stultifying and head-achingly something or other. USPS seems to be accusing me of making up the country of destination; they did say it's not my handwriting (which they oddly complimented me on) so I'm not sure how I could have invented a large semi-Iberian landmass without anyone noticing.

eh, with luck, one or the other or both will arrive.

"everyone needs a hug." - good advice!
posted by dorian at 3:52 PM on November 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

SisterHavana: I have a package waiting for me at the post office. : ) Could it be Quonsmus?

I'm glad you liked everything! I tried to fake you out by picking something off your Amazon Wish list.

Last night I got my present from an anonymous MeFite. I mentioned that I constantly write things down and that I'm a big list maker, and I was gifted a beautiful set of stationary, including note cards and pads. Thank you, anon, it's perfect!
posted by Room 641-A at 6:17 PM on November 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

I have quonsed my first quonsar - hopefully it should arrive on time! I gathered together my gift two weeks ago, but was only now able to literally pry myself from my desk to go mail it. End of year deadlines are the worst. Hopefully it will be there on time, PostNL willing!
posted by nerdfish at 7:29 AM on November 27, 2014

I got mine today, I had kind of forgotten that something would be coming so it was a nice surprise, Texan custom leather patterned coasters from TheCoug (in Texas!) (I am kind of wondering whether this links to this post I made a couple of weeks ago), which is very useful as the schmaltzy kitten coasters we had but which disappeared in last year's house move. They are exactly the sort of thing I like to get for Qmas; useful, a bit unusual for where I live and idiomatic of their origin. Well chosen.

My gift is at home and awaiting a suitable box and will be making the trip the other way across the Atlantic from Saturday.
posted by biffa at 1:19 PM on November 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

Uh oh. Seems like you dipsticks have been all efficient, and shit. So. Remind me. What the hell am I supposed to do, and when?
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 1:16 AM on November 28, 2014

You must find the Jade Monkey before the next full moon.
posted by Drinky Die at 1:54 AM on November 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

Room 641-A: I was that anonymous mefite!
posted by RainyJay at 6:39 AM on November 28, 2014

Quonsiment in the tender hands of Canada Post as of last night, and they've promised delivery by December 04. I hope you like it, Quonsee! Convivial Quonsmas, everyone!
posted by angiep at 8:23 AM on November 28, 2014

Today I brave the stores to replace one of the snacks for my Quonsee that I ate. :D
But the rest is finished and all will soon be in transit!
posted by Glinn at 10:07 AM on November 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

PareidoliaticBoy: "Uh oh. Seems like you dipsticks have been all efficient, and shit. So. Remind me. What the hell am I supposed to do, and when?"

Heh.

As a helpful reminder to all:

Once you have bought/made/selected your gift, prepare it to be sent (or have someone else prepare it to be sent). Deposit it into the tender hands of a delivery service on or before December 1. Pray to the delivery cockatoos all will go smoothly.

If all does not go smoothly, drop us an email so we can help your quonsee know the gift is running late but still is coming.
posted by julen at 10:47 AM on November 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I returned home from the best Thanksgiving ever to a little brown package in my mailbox. Inside was a lovely note, a yummy, yummy chai chocolate bar and a sampler of teas in packaging that had Mr. theBRKP plotting how to get his hands on the vials. Thank you so much kthxbi. I shall be sampling teas for many nights to come!
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 12:23 PM on November 28, 2014

My package is posted! Should be arriving next Friday if all goes well. Fingers crossed that I chose well.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 12:33 PM on November 28, 2014

Thank you to my secret quonsar! I opened it - so fun! - and it was what I requested (link to my personal twitter account for photos - hope that's okay).

They did a great presentation of the gift, btw, and a nice hand-written postcard was enclosed. So, many thanks, I shall enjoy this with some pie tonight... great gift.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 1:49 PM on November 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

I got quonsed just now!!!

I could not be more excited about my gift. First, the 100% silk yarn in variegated blues (my favorite) could not be more gorgeous! I love it!! I will absolutely let you know how I use it! Yay.

I am also quite certain I received the oldest quonsar gift. 15 to 20 million year old shark teeth and ray tooth plates and bone from Maryland's Calvert Cliffs. I can't imagine how you knew I would love them but OMG, I LOVE THEM! They're beautiful!

Thank you so much Akha!
posted by Sophie1 at 2:34 PM on November 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

I just opened my Secret Quonsar box and have laughed myself silly — it's the most delightful seemingly-random yet on-point assortment of things, I love it! Among the serendipitous selection, the curry pastes and tahini will be put into use promptly; the faux birds will be going onto our holiday wreath; and one of the cats has taken possession of the fur boa thingy and refuses to share it with the other cat. (It's in a circle, so when I managed to toss it over her head she spent a minute walking in circles with a "What? What have you done?" expression before she knocked it off against the coffee table leg and then rabbit kicked it for a bit.) The other cat has retaliated by claiming the empty box, which apparently smells wonderful.

I love it — thank you, danabanana!
posted by Lexica at 3:50 PM on November 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

Just found a package slip today. Is this my quonsar's doing? I can't get to the post office to check until Monday--tune in then for updates.
posted by ActionPopulated at 4:22 PM on November 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

So as previously mentioned, I mailed my Quonsmas package from Virginia last Monday; it promptly decided to go to South Carolina. It left South Carolina in time to spend Thanksgiving in North Carolina; since yesterday, it's been in Kansas, still nowhere near my very patient Quonsee.

My guess is, it drank too much Quonsmas booze, and has been staggering around getting on the wrong planes ever since..... I'm hoping it sobers up soon. On the bright side, it is turning into a fun geography lesson for my nine-year-old nephew....
posted by easily confused at 5:21 AM on November 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

RainyJay, thanks again, from me and my cat!
posted by Room 641-A at 8:01 AM on November 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thank you Secret Quonsar! We got a party light and a cooperative game called Hanabi that we just played and really enjoyed! We've been looking for more cooperative games so it was especially awesome! I don't know who you are but thank you thank you!
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 11:12 AM on November 29, 2014

FWIW, my spouse watched me unbox my Quonsmas gifts and muttered "…okay, I gotta sign up for this next year."

Two thumbs up, would quonse and be quonsed again!
posted by Lexica at 12:56 PM on November 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

I got my secret Quonsar gift last week. Was incredibly touched by the dried chanterelles from the Quonsor's parents, and the Star Trek cookie cutters will be put to good use this holiday season. I'm still not able to figure out how to make a noise with the sheepdog whistle, though. All in all, a fabulous Quonsar gift! Thank you!
posted by Philbo at 1:27 PM on November 29, 2014

Mine came today! Thanks so much to bookwibble!
posted by raisingsand at 7:05 PM on November 29, 2014

I love reading all these, the curse of being in Australia is that it generally takes 3 weeks before mine ever arrive anywhere!
posted by smoke at 10:41 PM on November 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Thank you, The Wrong Kind of Cheese!!

A really lovely box of treats arrived Wednesday, just after we should have left for the holiday weekend. But Julie had sent me tracking info through the Quonsar organizers (and what a good idea that was; I'll definitely do that in future), so I dawdled a little and managed to still be home when the box was delivered. It was marked perishable, so of course I had to open it right away (like I wouldn't have anyway. Right). I haven't had a chance to try anything yet - we've been running around like idiots and this is my first chance to even sit down with my laptop, much less open the refrigerator, but am very much looking forward to all of it. In fact, I can hear the biscotti calling me right now ...
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 6:57 AM on November 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have awesome Quonsar Art! Woo! Thanks, Korej!
posted by rmd1023 at 9:28 AM on November 30, 2014

Somewhere, in the dark, in the dead of night, another victim has been quonsed.

Sleep with one eye open, you who have not yet been touched by the icy hand of Quonsar.

For I am... THE MAD QUONSER and your hour of quonsing is upon you.
posted by tel3path at 9:41 AM on November 30, 2014 [10 favorites]

I got my gift! Adorable chocolate mice! Put them out at Thanksgiving and everyone loved them.

The bad news is my son "helpfully" put the wrapping in the bin before I could note the name. So, if you're out there, please make yourself known so I can thank you!
posted by dotgirl at 10:46 AM on November 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

The divine divined by radio sent me an extremely fancy array of things from Milwaukee, WI!
Including snacks both locally- and home-made, some badass-looking coffee, actual art by actual artists, and single-celled organism stickers!
Everyone at work was SUPER jealous. Thank you so much!!
posted by exceptinsects at 12:42 PM on November 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

My quonsing package is now ready to head out the door for a trip to the post office tomorrow. And then for an international plan ride. And after that? Well, probably a truck or a car or something? And after that? Quonsmas!
posted by janell at 3:24 PM on November 30, 2014

This might be the Quonsmas that keeps on giving!
On American turkey day (wow UPS I hope you guys got time and a half) we received anonymouse rainbow cat toys and a mouse on a long wire from San Francisco! Coslet says mrrrrrrrrr *batbatbatbatpounce*

thank you!
posted by tangaroo at 6:19 PM on November 30, 2014 [4 favorites]

Getting ready to send my package out tomorrow. Quonsmas, here I come!
posted by ocherdraco at 8:08 PM on November 30, 2014

I too have been Quonsed! Amazing stuff. Not one but two card games! Perfect, I can't wait to play them with my SO soon and my sister and father come christmas. The chocolate was just icing on the perfect cake. Thanks so much!
posted by Carillon at 8:20 PM on November 30, 2014

Got a really nice thank you from my Quonsee via the magic of arcticseal. Warm fuzzy feelings all round!
posted by Magnakai at 2:30 AM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Radiophonic Oddity sent me a lovely bundle of loose wool roving, which I love!

It will allow me to learn to make small, soft creatures -- I have only done a small penguin so far, and am eager to try more -- and also to relieve work stress by stabbing things over and over. So, you know, it's a two-fer!

(S?)he sent the package on like Quons Day Minus One, so it was at my house confusingly, wonderfully early, but I have been saving it until I got my own package in the mail -- which, of course, is today, on Absolute Final Quonsing Day. *hangs head in shame*
posted by wenestvedt at 5:55 AM on December 1, 2014

Quonsmas package is going out today!
posted by needlegrrl at 6:33 AM on December 1, 2014

I have Qunosed today (omg exactly on time), and look forward to being Quonsed! Hooray Quonsmas!
posted by bibliogrrl at 6:48 AM on December 1, 2014

The postal elves tell me my Quonsee's gift was left on their porch on Wednesday. I hope it was still there after the long weekend.
posted by Gridlock Joe at 7:22 AM on December 1, 2014

Because there is no minute like the last minute, my gift for my Quonsee was fed to the mail robot this morning. Hopefully it should arrive this week!
posted by sparklemotion at 7:27 AM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Happy "What do you mean we don't have any wrapping paper?!?" Day!

If you are like me, you have suddenly discovered that wrapping a platypus is slightly more difficult than you expected, but will find a way to get your quonsmas gift in the mail by the end of the day and feel that small rush of satisfaction of sending your gift out by the deadline.

If you think that you will miss out on that rush due to recalcitrant vendors, crazy bosses, unfortunate accidents, crazy life experiences, terrible weather, or whatever, do drop us a note so we can help your quonsee know when to look out their window every 3 minutes waiting for a delivery service to pull up and pull a wiggling wrapped mess with stamps over the eyes out of the back of the truck and deposit on your front porch/reception desk/mailbox.
posted by julen at 7:41 AM on December 1, 2014 [10 favorites]

My gift is in the mail today!
posted by Nimmie Amee at 7:44 AM on December 1, 2014

My Quansee should be getting hers tomorrow! Yay!
posted by daninnj at 8:01 AM on December 1, 2014

If you are like me, you have suddenly discovered that wrapping a platypus is slightly more difficult than you expected

Yeah people have no idea how hard it is to wrap things when they're fighting back! Part 1 of my package has already been shipped by reliable elves, but part 2 is up to me and the grumpy post office staff to wrestle with today...
posted by RedOrGreen at 8:02 AM on December 1, 2014

Oh, and I have two parts of my Quonsmas gift from Kostia - a book (says the note) and an envelope. I haven't opened anything yet, but they give me a tiny tingle of anticipation every time I see them sitting on my desk... I'm waiting till my Quonsee receives their stuff before I open mine.
posted by RedOrGreen at 8:05 AM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm on my way to the post office, after that all I have to do is hope my quonsee likes their gifts and anticipate getting something in the mail.

If you are like me, you have suddenly discovered that wrapping a platypus is slightly more difficult than you expected

Last year, as part of an ongoing campaign where I get my wife weird toy animals, I ordered a stuffed geoduck. When my son saw that, he decided his own gift for her, a matching set of reindeer and santa rubber duckies (it was an inadvertently duck themed year), needed to be wrapped in a construction paper geoduck that we made, and then THAT needed to be wrapped, so she'd get to unwrap his present to her twice. So, I ended up wrapping 10 ducks in a paper bivalve, and then figuring out a way to wrap THAT.

It was a sight to behold.
posted by Gygesringtone at 8:25 AM on December 1, 2014 [6 favorites]

Ahhh, getting excited to be quonsed! My quonsee sent me the nicest thank you(s). :)
posted by JoanArkham at 8:30 AM on December 1, 2014

I have Quonsed, woohoo!!!

Now comes the anxiety of hoping my quonsee likes their gifts. So much (self-generated) pressure!!
posted by spinturtle at 8:37 AM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thank you, a fiendish thingy! The pets are getting into their share of the loot.

My package just went out today, such a slacker. Although some of the credit must be shared with the Etsy vendor who waited three days to tell me that they were out of what I ordered.
posted by palindromic at 8:40 AM on December 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

JoanArkham - are you my quonsar (quonser?)? Were you the lovely person who sent me the fabulous yarn and bones and teeth?! I looked for an Akha and couldn't find that person! If so, thank you again so much!!!!!
posted by Sophie1 at 8:41 AM on December 1, 2014

I quonsed you, Sophie1, bad handwriting and all, and I'm so glad you liked it! I was super-nervous about that, even though I've been thinking about going back to get some of that yarn for myself. The lady at the yarn store had just unpacked it when I got there, and it was just irresistibly soft and pretty.
posted by Akhu at 9:00 AM on December 1, 2014 [3 favorites]

Yay Akhu!!! Thank you so much! So, so wonderful!
posted by Sophie1 at 9:21 AM on December 1, 2014

So I just mailed my gift off internationally this morning so I expect it should arrive in time. I received my gift a week ago though, so clearly someone is super-organized! I have not yet opened it and I'm not sure when I will but thanks mefite whose name I'm not sure of yet for being so on top of things.
posted by GuyZero at 9:36 AM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Okay. I've been neglectful but I promise quonsee your package will be in the mail tomorrow. You were just SO HARD! But I had this dream last night and now I know what to get you (I live in Utah. Everything comes in dreams or visions.) Im just one antique store away. Tomorrow, package meets mail and it'll go directly to California. :)
posted by Marinara at 9:49 AM on December 1, 2014

Argh. My post office is out of flat rate boxes. Grrr.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:25 AM on December 1, 2014

Today I Quonsed! (In my usual fashion of leaving everything until the last possible minute.) My package is winging its way across the Atlantic as we speak. Fingers crossed it's met with "whee!" and not "wtf?"

Happy "What do you mean we don't have any wrapping paper?!?" Day!

I was wrapping it at my Mum's last night so I was going "Do you have any paper?...And scissors and Sellotape?...And a padded envelope and a marker pen?..."
Mum: What's this all for?
Me: I'm sending a gift to Faraway Land.
Mum: Who's it for?
Me: It's kind of like a Secret Santa thing.
Mum: And they live in Faraway Land? Do you know them through work?
Me: No.
Mum: How do you know them?
Me: I don't, I just know their name. It's a website I'm on.
Mum: Oh. So do you write to them during the year?
Me: No, but I might come across something they've written. Or not.
Mum: So it's a total stranger?
Me: Yep.
Mum: ...
posted by billiebee at 10:25 AM on December 1, 2014 [25 favorites]

I'd just like to point out that taking part in the Secret Quonsar exchange this year and last has inspired me to send more parcels through the post to more far away friends than I ever have in my life. I don't think I had sent a parcel through the mail in 20 years before last year's Secret Quonsar. Now I'm saving all the sturdy paper bags from the liquor store to wrap all my little token Christmas gifts in for mailing. Happy unintended consequences!
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 10:28 AM on December 1, 2014 [5 favorites]

My package is in the mail! Nothing like a December trip to the post office <3
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:01 AM on December 1, 2014

RedOrGreen: "Oh, and I have two parts of my Quonsmas gift from Kostia - a book (says the note) and an envelope."

A fat envelope, or a thin envelope? I am so excited about the thin envelope I can't even, as the kids say.
posted by kostia at 11:10 AM on December 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

My gift is shipping directly from the seller. It's now officially on its way to the west coast, dear Secret Quonsar. I hope the Quonsmas Elves ensure its safe arrival!
posted by MsVader at 11:57 AM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I am thrilled with the gift my Quonsar, Narrative Priorities, sent me!

Although I did say "go nuts" I also mentioned that a) I liked home made stuff and b) that I've read very few comics in my life but I don't like superheroes or fantasy. She totally came through.

In addition to a graphic biography of Richard Feynmen by Jim Ottaviani she also sent me a couple of books that she wrote and illustrated herself, which even though I know is a thing some humans are capable of doing still manages to fill me with awe when they actually go and do it, since I couldn't draw a straight line myself even if I only existed in a two dimensional universe. Or something.

Not only are these comics a) hand made and b) comics, they are also about NASA and space, real space, which is my favorite subject in the entire universe. I learned all about NASA's TDRS and then nearly got teary-eyed when two people made a pilgrimage to... I won't spoil it. Go to the links in her profile and buy her stuff. It's neat.

So thanks very much, Narrative Priorities! Happy Quonsmas!
posted by bondcliff at 12:25 PM on December 1, 2014 [9 favorites]

It's the most Quonsarful time of the year! ♫

I was so excited about quonsing that I honestly forgot I was getting quonsed -- until my amazing Quonsar, meggan, had the Quonsarelves forward me the tracking information (which is how I got the idea to do it for my Quonsee, still_wears_a_hat). For those actually trying to keep this super-secret, tracking info doesn't spoil much detail, and it's a great way for the recipient to plan for maximum delight.

And delighted I am! While I was away for Thanksgiving weekend, tracking showed my package was safely in a "parcel locker," or what we in my apartment complex call the "Big Big Boxes" -- and getting to open the package was last night's reward for a successful road trip. Meggan dazzled me with something to read (a book all about my favorite author), Field Notes on which to write, bunny-shaped paper clips, and an amazing and enormous variety of comestibles, which I intend to nibble and NOT SHARE WITH ANYONE!

Thanks to the whole Secret Quonsar team. This was the best gift exchange in which I've ever been involved.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 12:41 PM on December 1, 2014 [4 favorites]

YAY! I'm so happy the package made it to you safely, The Wrong Kind of Cheese! I am bursting with Quonsmas cheer!
posted by meggan at 12:57 PM on December 1, 2014

I have quonsed! On my way into my tiny little town post office, I realized that I haven't been to the post office since *last* Quonsmas. Quonsmas, keeping the post office in business. (well, if I were their only customer...)
posted by Tandem Affinity at 12:58 PM on December 1, 2014

Went to the post office today, hooray!
posted by avocet at 1:08 PM on December 1, 2014

My husband dropped my box off at the post office today to start its journey from South Jersey to Central Jersey. :D
posted by kimberussell at 1:13 PM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have been Quonsared by kalessin and OMG BRILLIANT!

Books and booze! Feminism and the best kind of cherries for all the drinks! I make my Manhattans with blood orange bitters and amareta cherries - how did you know?!? Homemade bitters are the bomb and SO ARE YOU! I will be carving out a few hours in the next few weeks of crazy for one of the delicious drinks you suggested and some reading that is not of the picture book variety!

(Also, how jealous am I that you know Roxane Gay?)

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 1:31 PM on December 1, 2014

I have quonsed! Wheeeee!
posted by gaspode at 1:33 PM on December 1, 2014

I have Quonsed.
posted by KingEdRa at 1:45 PM on December 1, 2014

I received a mystery piece of art today that I KNOW I didn't order. Have I been partially quonsed??
posted by bibliogrrl at 1:55 PM on December 1, 2014

Oh wait - I haven't I figured out what it was. (A kickstarter thing!) Back to watching the mailbox!
posted by bibliogrrl at 1:56 PM on December 1, 2014

On my way out to the post office to quonse, I checked my brother's mailbox. Sure enough, there was something for ME in it! I didn't look any further and headed off, successfully negotiating the wilds of the USPS. And all through the long walk back, with gloom already gathering and rain beginning to spit down diffidently, the knowledge of the package shone before me whilst I was warmed from within by my own quonsing.

I got back and handed the mail to my brother. "The bottom one's for me," I said. He checked and seemed faintly surprised. I couldn't wait and tore in to find the most beautifully crocheted scarf with leafy, flowery patterns in variegated blues and jades. So gorgeous! And I love the card too! Thank you so much, Mizu! I hope my quonsee is even a fraction as pleased as I am!
posted by Athanassiel at 2:04 PM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have quonsed! I hope it doesn't take too long to cross the planet.
posted by janell at 2:23 PM on December 1, 2014

Certain issues with the post office have caused me to be unable to send off the gift for my quonsee until tomorrow.
posted by ocherdraco at 2:24 PM on December 1, 2014

NP, GuyZero!

ps - part of it is edible. Not perishable, but consider that an incentive :)
posted by spinifex23 at 2:47 PM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have received the best Quonsmas gift ever. Really. This is just amazing.

I did not see a note from my Secret Quonsar, so thank you, very much, whoever you are. This is the best present EVER.

I love the seeds (Whee!!! New interesting things to plant! Why is spring so far away??) and I loved (already ate...) the mints I found tucked here and there.

The little popper thing was adorable and awesome. I tried to get a picture of one of my dogs wearing the crown inside but he was not keen on that plan. ;)

The best part is the fantastic amazing ZILLION tiny boxes. This is so wonderful. Words cannot express the glee I felt upon opening this package. My husband, who fully understands my adoration of tiny containers, was very amused by my expressions of delight and impressed with my SQ's ability to find such a perfect gift.

I open the package and this is inside.

Then I open the largest box... and find another box full of boxes in addition to a bunch of little boxes.

Here's another view of them all.

THANK YOU!! Whoever you are, you totally made my day!!! I am going to have a lot of fun with all those boxes. I may even put things in them...
posted by AllieTessKipp at 2:53 PM on December 1, 2014 [4 favorites]

I have been quonsed! My beautiful package from mochapickle arrived today and I gleefully pranced down my apartment hallway with jingle bells jingling inside the box.

First of all, mochapickle is amazing at wrapping gifts festively. And secondly, mochapickle took my "quirky office supplies" request in stride, getting me delicious goodies, some tea, miniature erasers shaped like bunnies and foxes, and what is likely my favorite office supply of all time. Thanks mochapickle! So glad I finally signed up for Quonsmas!
posted by JannaK at 2:58 PM on December 1, 2014 [11 favorites]

JannaK: "what is likely my favorite office supply of all time. Thanks mochapickle! So glad I finally signed up for Quonsmas!"

Mochapickle, I think we need to know where that beautiful thing came from. I'm asking for a friend.

SO THEY CAN BUY IT FOR ME
posted by kostia at 3:07 PM on December 1, 2014 [13 favorites]

My package of quonsar-fun will be going out in the mail first thing tomorrow morning!!
posted by sarcasticah at 3:17 PM on December 1, 2014

I have quonsed! I hope my quonsee enjoys. : )
posted by SisterHavana at 3:43 PM on December 1, 2014

amazon told me my quonsmas gifts shipped today - i hope you like them, quonsee! i would have normally mailed you giant quantities of cookies too but i couldn't tell from your various social media accounts if you were diabetic or not and i didn't want to be mean. if it turns out you're not diabetic, then consider this a cookie IOU.
posted by kerning at 3:51 PM on December 1, 2014

Today, I've received a lovely Quonsmas box of Pacific Northwest items from esoterrica! Our tour of the box begins with the amazing piney aroma that wafted from my mailbox as I approached, next showcases the creative recycled wrapping materials (for starters, dinosaur and ant stickers marching around and atop the wrapping), and culminates in the Seattle/Portland goodness found therein -- a bottle of blueberry teriyaki sauce, Space Needle postcard and magnet, quince honey rosemary jam, some peppermint and pine soap (there it is!) and a beautiful scarf in a shade of green that I am quite partial to. I feel an abundance of Quonsmas joy. Thank you, esoterrica!
posted by initapplette at 3:56 PM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have also quonsed! Turns out the main item I decided on after much poking about the internet was already on my quonsee's Amazon Wish List, which I didn't look at until after I'd made the decision. Made me laugh.
posted by deludingmyself at 4:03 PM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have been well and truly Quansed!

I met my SQ IRL at my favorite pizza joint. I am going to sit down and read my new book, eat my Good n Plenty and then I'm going to brew as delicious cup of coffee. But the best gift of all is that I got to meet my Mefi Little Sister!

This has been HELLA fun!

Thank you needlegrrl!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 4:09 PM on December 1, 2014 [5 favorites]

I sensed a great quonsing in the Force, and lo, my anonymous Baltimorian Quonsar has bestowed upon me powerful talismans for enhancing the awesomeness of my new office.

The pen is erasable, and in the best possible colour. I don't think that I ever posted about my love of Frixion eraseable highlighters so I don't know how this most perfect pen was manifested.

I am not convinced that I will ever use the paperclips to clip paper, as they may be inconstant service of defending my office space (or, more likely, being used by me to enact epic battle scenes that I will not be able to bill for).

Thank you Quonsar, whoever you are!
posted by sparklemotion at 4:25 PM on December 1, 2014 [3 favorites]

Yay, quonsmas! saeculorum made such an amazing box of things that I don't even know what to say. I love everything, from the book I've been meaning to read for ages to the local candy that makes me want to go back to Seattle to the seriously delicious hot sauce and especially the toddler toy that I'm playing with right now. The octopus is taped up right by my computer, which is clearly the best place.

Thank you so so much, saeculorum!
posted by Akhu at 4:32 PM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I've been Quansed! Quansmacked, even. In the unexpected third Amazon box I picked up today, was a perfectly chosen book about quilts from InkaLomax! Thank you, InkaLomax, I love it.
posted by monopas at 5:46 PM on December 1, 2014

Belatedly noting that I quonsed on Monday before Thanksgiving - hopefully it will make its way across the country by today or tomorrow, but I've had some bad USPS luck recently and the guy at the Porter Square office is mean.
posted by maryr at 5:57 PM on December 1, 2014

Thank you so much Sophie1! I am looking forward to wearing the bee tattoos to work tomorrow morning, and to making adorable Day of the Dead paper dolls during boring conference calls for as long as that book will last me. You have made my holiday season immeasurably better and I am so, so happy. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
posted by none of these will bring disaster at 6:19 PM on December 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

I found this otter tape dispenser on Amazon, for your friend (to buy for you).
posted by Margalo Epps at 6:41 PM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Well, I got my out-going quons in the mail by today's deadline, so that's a Quonsmas Miracle right there.

I used the areas of interest in my quonsee's list as indication of the kinds of things they were into, and went from there. That might have been a little risky, so I filled up the rest of the box with food. They said they liked food and I like sending food, so that's the fallback. Now to wait.....
posted by benito.strauss at 7:22 PM on December 1, 2014

So, I was Quonsed earlier this afternoon and have spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how I can even begin to put together an adequate thank you to heyho.

First of all: I was actually expecting a package of more or less the same size and shape as the one that arrived today, so although I was surprised how quickly it got here, I didn't really suspect a thing until I opened it and saw the envelope with hand-written 'Read Me'.

Here I must step back a bit and add a couple of links for context: Back in 2006 I made this cigar box guitar/uke thing. I'd been interested in building fretted instruments for a long time and that was kind of a first real step down that path. I kvelled when it was featured on MetaFilter, back when I was still a lurker!

It was about 95% finished when I got distracted/derailed by a big move and subsequent renovation projects; it wasn't until 2011 that I finally got a workbench set up, made a few last refinements and got it restrung. A couple of days later I brought it with me to the local farmer's market and spend the afternoon fooling around with it. When we got home I left it in my truck, and it was promptly stolen in the early hours of the following morning. (We are in the sticks and don't generally have to worry about vehicle break-ins… but that just happened to be the day some scumbag had to prove the exception to the rule.) So, to have finally finished that instrument after 5 years only to have it stolen a couple of days later really took the wind out of my sails; it felt like the universe was telling me to forget about making instruments.

Back to this afternoon: When I unfolded the note I found a print-out of the Ask MeFi question I posted right after the incident, with a personal message (marked as Best Answer) from heyho at the bottom.

In the box I found THIS CIGAR BOX GUITAR, along with my missing motivation to make stuff like this myself. heyho, I'm still overwhelmed by your thoughtful note, and the time and thought you clearly put into choosing what was basically exactly the best thing someone could have given me on multiple levels; I mean, it's flat out supercool in and of itself, but it's also the nudge I've been needing to get my workshop put back together and to get back to work. Thank you so very much!
posted by usonian at 7:47 PM on December 1, 2014 [27 favorites]

Yes, it sounds great through my amp! I am clearly going to need to use it on my track for the MeFi Music Flood cover project!

(I meant to add before, my own quonsee's main thing should be on its way direct from the vendor, and I will be sending along a thing or two personally - admittedly a day late.)
posted by usonian at 8:17 PM on December 1, 2014

Now that the mailing deadline is about to pass, how ‘bout a mini stat update?

Our final total of participants is 399 MeFites, whose names begin with every letter from A to Z. Over the course of quonsing so far, we’ve talked to about 200 of you.

16% (64) of folks have received their gifts (that we know of!).
.5% (2) of folks might have received their gifts (we’re waiting on a confirmation)
22.8% (91) have a gift status that we know (e.g., en route, waiting on a vendor, will be sent tomorrow)
posted by julen at 8:41 PM on December 1, 2014 [5 favorites]

AllieTessKipp oh man, I have to wonder if you or your SQ is a fan of Chapi Chapo because your pictures of all the teeny boxes look just like the world they live in!
posted by pandalicious at 9:11 PM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I finally quonsed this evening and was even inspired to tack on a little something extra after the fact, so my quonsee can now expect two packages, one mysterious white paper wrapped box and one slightly less mysterious Amazon box! I'm not 100% sure which will arrive first, but one should be there by Friday (I hope) and the other should be there by next Monday, which is also my projected quonsing date! Woo hoo!
posted by pandalicious at 9:25 PM on December 1, 2014

The last bit of my quonsee's gift arrived today, WOO-HOO, and so the whole parcel will be mailed first thing tomorrow. I have already confessed to the quons-elves, but will also email them to confirm when it has actually really-and-truly been sent.

I will be individually wrapping everything in the parcel, due to our stupid Customs stupid rules which stupidly dictate that I stupidly specifically state exactly what's in the parcel, so there's no element of surprise. (Hopefully a box of wrapped little parcels will deliver some last minute suspense, because you can't tell which one is the platypus and which one is the marmoset until they're unwrapped.)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 11:12 PM on December 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I hope my quonsee likes creative uses of pastel tissue paper that came from a baby shower, because boy howdy is that what we've got around here.
posted by Madamina at 12:57 AM on December 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

I sent out my package today - a day late - as I was waiting on part of the present to be delivered to me first! Once I had it, it was a mad dash to wrap up all the different parts (sorry for the sloppy wrapping job btw), write a note ( which probably makes very little sense - if you have any questions when you receive it, Secret Quonsee, please MeMail me and I'll try and do a better job explaining myself), and get it to the post office before the after-hours window closed.

Judging from past mail I've sent, it takes about a week for things from Japan to get to the west coast of the US. Hopefully there's no problem, as the very patient post office guy stuck the customs label half over my return address.
posted by emmling at 3:42 AM on December 2, 2014

at this point, my main-quonse-thing seems to have passed through the hands of Post workers in at least 3 countries, none of which are the country of destination. but mostly the status seems to be "working on it" and it's still early days, so... occasional crossing of fingers.

apparently I just coined the phrase "Io Quonsarnalia"
which is hilarious because, since forever, at this time of year I throw around "Io Saturnalia" at the mere something of a something.

additionally, and as always:
paix et san' / pace e salute / peace, blessings and health, to you and all of yours.

and, as always-always,
2005-manhattan-IRL-era Quonsar-adjacent bus shelter vandalism
(I swear that guy in the ad is the spitting image of PP)
posted by dorian at 3:50 AM on December 2, 2014

Is it bad etiquette to check via memail that the quonsar gift was received okay?

I sent mine via amazon and the estimated delivery date was 18th Nov . . . . ?

I've already given them my MeFi name (I got confused about anonymity), but don't want to seem like I'm hassling anybody :S
posted by Faintdreams at 4:11 AM on December 2, 2014

Also belatedly noting that I dropped off my package with Canada Post a week ago, so barring customs shenanigans it should be getting to it's destination shortly!

_{Really regretting not getting tracking now, this sending things off into the ether and not knowing where they are is exceedingly stressful!}
posted by quaking fajita at 4:30 AM on December 2, 2014

Dear Quonsee. Your package was mailed yesterday, the packaging is subpar, but the contents are not. (I hope)
posted by DigDoug at 5:10 AM on December 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

I quonsed last night, by meeting Ruthless Bunny at a fabulous pizza joint (yay, excuse to finally meet up!).

I arrived home, only to find that I had a package! Beautifully wrapped, with a cute bird card - one lovely journal (yay, blank books! I could be surrounded by them and still want more!) and the most amazing sticky notes that are actually bunnies and are japanese. (Here is an etsy shop that has them. Which is good, because I may have to order more after I use them on *everything*! )

My SQ remained anonymous, but thank you thank you!
posted by needlegrrl at 5:41 AM on December 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

Faintdreams: "Is it bad etiquette to check via memail that the quonsar gift was received okay?I sent mine via amazon and the estimated delivery date was 18th Nov . . . . ?"

Nope, but we'd be happy to do it for you if you'd like - send us an email, and we'll get on it.

Bear in mind that a number of folks were not home for the holidays or saving the gift until things settled back down after the hubbub of Thanksgiving.
posted by julen at 7:00 AM on December 2, 2014

... or that this thread exists!
posted by julen at 7:25 AM on December 2, 2014

hey spinifex23 so I opened your gift last night - thanks so much! The crazy thing - my gift to my quonsee was nearly identical! How strange is that?
posted by GuyZero at 7:29 AM on December 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

my gift to my quonsee was nearly identical! How strange is that?

GuyZero, once your gift arrives I'd love to know what that was!
posted by Room 641-A at 8:53 AM on December 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

We definitely need more of the sharing of the Quonsmas joy (i.e., photos).
posted by MsVader at 9:40 AM on December 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

I have quonsed! Now, here's hoping the USPS delivers the gift successfully.
posted by ocherdraco at 11:08 AM on December 2, 2014

I have also quonsed, although I'm not just relying on USPS this year... also it turns out going into a post office almost made me cry. (I don't like doing things wrong. I don't know how things work here, so I did them wrong, and was sad.) Don't worry though, quonsee, I believe your package is on its way.

And I have *been* quonsed too (anonymously)-- or at least I think so. Otherwise the cardgame Gloom (which I have played before and much enjoyed but did not own) condensed out of the gray skies over Copenhagen.

Now I just have to recruit people to play it with me. I may tell them they have to come play this game I got from The Internets.
posted by nat at 11:31 AM on December 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

hey spinifex23 so I opened your gift last night - thanks so much! The crazy thing - my gift to my quonsee was nearly identical! How strange is that?

You're welcome!

Many people are getting Polish Christmas cards with Oplatki then! Merry Quonsmas!
posted by spinifex23 at 11:45 AM on December 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

I just wanted to check-in that whoever got me the nice photo book about a museum show they worked on, it was really cool and totally in my wheelhouse and I'm kind of surprised I can't figure out who it was but it was super great and I'm enjoying poring over it. Thanks!
posted by mathowie (staff) at 12:07 PM on December 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

I quonsed yesterday. I'm too lazy to go out to my car to get the tracking number right now, but they estimated that it would be delivered on the 4th.
posted by Weeping_angel at 12:42 PM on December 2, 2014

Phew, I can let out the deep breath I was holding! Glad the book made it to you, mathowie, and I'm double-extra glad you're enjoying it.
posted by PussKillian at 1:04 PM on December 2, 2014

I quonsed yesterday, also. Secretly. I should see the reaction by Thursday, can't wait!
posted by raisingsand at 2:10 PM on December 2, 2014

Hooray! I'm so excited! I got a fantastic Quonsmas gift from the delightful Capricorn!

When I saw my name written on the envelope, my first exclamation was "she's an artist!" (I knew she was a she by the return address.) I love stickers and I love micro stickers even more! She sent me a lovely letter covered in them!

My gift was all Hello Kitty themed! I got a lunch box for my bento lunches, which also has a 100-piece puzzle inside, some gel pens, mini highlighters, a notebook, and more micro stickers!! Thank you so much Capricorn, I love it!!

Here are pics! (Yes my carpet is white with brown speckles, it's not dirty and I didn't choose it!)
posted by IndigoRain at 2:12 PM on December 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

I have been quonsed! Thank you to my Secret Quonsar who managed to satisfy my two gift hints. I said I liked bugs and I liked cooking, which culminates perfectly in the cutest little bug cookie cutters! Thank you, Secret Quonsar (whose Metafilter name I do not know, I have a guess, but I don't want to go throwing out user names willy nilly). I heard that there is still another package on its way, and I can't wait to get it, although I can't imagine it could be more perfect than bug shaped cookie cutters! Thank you thank you thank you. I love Quonsmas, I love you all.

Note on edit - I still don't know if my own Quonsee has received their gift. The post office said it was delivered, but they haven't checked in with this thread. I really hope they got it!
posted by msali at 2:28 PM on December 2, 2014

Package at the post office turned out to be the cat food I ordered. The wait for the quonsmas bounty continues.
posted by ActionPopulated at 2:56 PM on December 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

I have been well and truly quonsed! kerning sent me "My Drunk Kitchen" and a Star Wars ice cube tray ball! Thank you so much!
posted by Gridlock Joe at 3:34 PM on December 2, 2014

Smoke just quonsed me with platypus and bat! What a great thing to return to after a week away.
posted by divabat at 3:54 PM on December 2, 2014

Also it seems there are a lot of platypus this year, given malibustacey9999 and julen's comments.
posted by divabat at 4:17 PM on December 2, 2014

Thank you quonsar! The kettle was fantastic, and made a very tasty cup of coffee this morning! Here's to many more mornings!
posted by craven_morhead at 5:06 PM on December 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

I was the merriest person in the post office queue and my Quonsmas package is winging its way to its destination!
posted by atropos at 5:26 PM on December 2, 2014

I lied. No platypus in my (just-mailed, yay!) parcel.

But I could have included the stupid bat who works for Australia Post who tried to charge me $98 for postage. I would have gladly stuffed her in the parcel and sent her off to the other side of the planet.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 5:37 PM on December 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

I quonsed today -- priority Mail. Should be arriving Thursday -- Friday at the latest. Phew!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 5:39 PM on December 2, 2014

I seem to have the perfect match, as I just quonsed today (priority mail!) and have not yet been quonsed. It would have felt wrong to receive my gift early when I myself was not ready on time. Can't wait for my quonsee to get the package!
posted by pril at 6:42 PM on December 2, 2014

We just arrived home from a long family trip and found a box waiting for us. Thanks, mudpuppie, for the wonderful bamboo cutting board! We will definitely get a ton of use out of it.
posted by backseatpilot at 6:48 PM on December 2, 2014

The waiting is the worst. When will it get there? (I'm glad I'm not the only one who lost the tracking info) Will my quonsee like it? I hope my quonsee likes it. I hope it gets there soon! yarg!
posted by patheral at 8:39 PM on December 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

PATHERAL! you posted right before i could post my thank you! your scarf is GORGEOUS and I am so into it. I tweeted out a terrible photo of me wearing it. thank you! <3
posted by kerning at 9:08 PM on December 2, 2014

Wow! what a coincidence! I'm glad you like it! Whew, now I can stop biting my fingernails. Happy quonsmas!
posted by patheral at 9:14 PM on December 2, 2014

Welp, USPS took the package yesterday and have not bothered to scan the tracking number. I hope it makes it to its destination.
posted by bibliogrrl at 9:17 PM on December 2, 2014

Through my Quonsar gift, I discovered they have a Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum. My mug and writing slate are quite unique--thank you, I had no idea!

I sent my package out on Dec. 1st and my gift should arrive on Thursday. I'm so excited!
posted by loquat at 9:21 PM on December 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

A rock that floats? A tiny robot...who is also a pen?! A zine from 826 Seattle, including the story of Judy, the fire-breathing magic penguin who only wishes to fly?!!! A magnetic time machine hull repair patch?!!! (To prevent embarassing hull breach incidents!) And best of all, a packet of tiny rubber dinosaurs!!!! Rouftop, you outdid yourself!
It's all delightful, and as a grown-ass adult, it's hard to ask for tiny dinosaurs and not lose some credibility in the eyes of others, so thank you for reading my mind. (Seriously, they're so tiny! The pterodactyl is the size of a multi-vitamin.)
Thank you, secret quonsar! You made my day! (I also really liked the wrapping. Very mysterious!)
posted by blnkfrnk at 11:12 PM on December 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

Thanks to my secret quonsar, I now have some new reading material for the Giftmas season - including Vol 1 of a history of Dr Who.

And a cracker, which my 4 year old very much enjoyed pulling with me.
posted by hfnuala at 4:15 AM on December 3, 2014

I have been quonsed! My husband told me last night that a package came that wasnt from Amazon, and was probably that 'internet gift exchange you were futzing over a couple weeks ago'. I asked him to open it and there are multiple wrapped items inside - squeeee! He's under orders to open no further until I get home tomorrow night (am away for work) so I shall post pictures once I do.

Now if only my quonsee would indicate that they received their package, my quonsmas would be complete. USPS delivered it on Nov 22, so now I am worried that they delivered to the wrong address, or a platypus ate it, or some other mishap befell it.... in which case I would like to send a replacement..... back to watching this thread ....
posted by darsh at 5:27 AM on December 3, 2014

IndigoRain, so glad it arrived safely and that you liked all the Hello Kitty swag. Merry Quonsmas!
posted by capricorn at 5:37 AM on December 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

I sent my package out to my quonsee late on Monday, so hopefully it will arrive this week. It's been a crazy two weeks, but I wanted to at least make the deadline.
posted by Benway at 6:30 AM on December 3, 2014

Dear Quonsar: I laughed until I cried, and then laugh-cried, for a solid 5 minutes this morning. I don't even have words to tell you how awesome this is because I still have laugh-tears on my face and I may never, ever take this gnome hat and beard off. Thank you SO much!! SO SO much!
posted by VioletU at 6:31 AM on December 3, 2014 [8 favorites]

The post office claims it finally reached the correct state (and town!), after a tour of several other random states.... biting my fingers, hoping my Quonsee likes it!
posted by easily confused at 6:56 AM on December 3, 2014

dreamyshade: "I was mildly confused at first when I got a thing in the mail today - somehow I had forgotten that I would be getting a mystery present, and not just me giving somebody else a mystery present. Ha."

Yes, exactly this. Which is funny, since it was you who quonsed me! My daughter and I will enjoy many an evening ganking Maize Walkers and flooping pigs in the Adventure Time Card Wars game. I'll try and post a picture of my Cerebral Blood Storm this evening. Thanks again for the most algebraic Quonsmas ever, dreamyshade!
posted by Rock Steady at 8:19 AM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, I haven't sent my quonsee their gift yet, though it sits wrapped on my counter, ready to go. It shall be mailed this week, and by a magical Quonsmas Coincidence (Quoincidence?) it only has to go a couple of towns over, so it should be there soon.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:21 AM on December 3, 2014

I'm starting to worry my Quonsar's package will arrive while I'm out of town this Friday or Saturday. Not that we have had anything disappear in the past, but...fingers crossed!
posted by JoanArkham at 8:58 AM on December 3, 2014

So glad you liked your gift, blnkfrnk! I had a ton of fun trying to find things on your wish list, especially "bizarre objects that are seemingly sold as some kind of performance art on the part of the seller."

I meant to include a note letting you know that all the gifts were from my neighborhood in Seattle b/c you said you were curious about other places. Your items came from the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Company, Top Ten Toys, and Theo Chocolates down the road. And of course the post-it note wrapping was pilfered from the supply table at Works Progress.
posted by rouftop at 11:53 AM on December 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Athanassiel: I hope my quonsee is even a fraction as pleased as I am!

AM I EVER! I got home from teaching last night past 11pm, to find a big padded envelope from Australia by way of Dobbs Ferry, NY. I immediately said to my boyfriend, "My quonsar is Athanassiel! Aaaaah!" and then had to do some explaining. (He's a mefite, too, though, so the explanation was short.) He then obliged me by being my audience while I opened my gift.

Read on, with the knowledge that the opening of every gift was accompanied by "Aaaaah! So great!"

First out of the envelope was a paper airplane called The Quonsar with instructions to open the other things first before reading the message. Then, a calendar from Australia (with Pension Days helpfully marked in BIG PRINT), then a bunch of things wrapped individually in beautiful wrapping paper. Lots of awesome Japanese office supplies and fun bags, including AMAZING CORRECTION TAPE PENGUIN, FUNNY FOOD ERASERS, and a FISH SHAPED BAG. And STICKERS. And a very very thoughtful mix of happy songs. It was a perfect and delightful gift. (Behold!)

Thank you so much!
posted by ocherdraco at 1:58 PM on December 3, 2014 [6 favorites]

Awesome! I'm so glad you liked it/them! I had fun wrapping all the things and hiding them in different pockets. The present of presents! I adore that correction tape penguin, they're so great. Enjoy!
posted by Athanassiel at 2:46 PM on December 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! Quonsmas just arrived on my doorstep in a huge way!* Inside of a sodden box was a blessedly well-wrapped package complete with several handmade delights: an amazing sculpture made from a book, a beautiful needlepoint bookmark, two fabulous beaded pins, and a funny card! The book art was especially perfect, because I just came from a museum exhibit on art made from books this afternoon, so thank you very, very much, Altomentis! You have totally made my day!

*Well, actually, it's possible it landed yesterday, but for some reason the package was delivered so that it was hidden behind our door unnoticed and rained upon for some time, but all is well!
posted by Diagonalize at 3:30 PM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Me: I don't, I just know their name. It's a website I'm on.

billiebee: I don't know how many times I've had similar conversations, albeit not just limited to SQ. They usually go like this:

Me: So, there's this website I love, Metafilter. Do you know it?
Them: No.
Me: I saw this really interesting/cool/weird/wtf thing there yesterday - I'll send it to you.
Them: Thanks. What's Meta- ... what did you say it was?
Me: Metafilter! This website I love! Weren't you listening?!?
Them: ...
Them: Just send me the link.
Me: Ok.
posted by hapax_legomenon at 3:32 PM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yay! My gift has arrived!

Just in time for a totally legitimate scientific experiment I was going to conduct with gummy bears, too!

I have a lab coat, I am a scientist...

Thank you, Secret Quonsar!
posted by RainyJay at 3:37 PM on December 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Oh, also, more on topic: the gift I'd ordered for my Quonsee finally arrived yesterday and I put it in the mail today. Since they live approximately 3.7 miles from me I think it will get there in plenty o' time. I hope.
posted by hapax_legomenon at 3:41 PM on December 3, 2014

My gifts finally went into the mail today! The nice woman at the post office informed me that they were out of boxes, then helpfully jammed things into an envelope that seemed too small to me, frankly, but it was five minutes past closing and I know better than to argue with government employees. Then I got back to my car and realised that I forgot entirely to include the Quonsmas card I'd written out, so. Whups. At least they were mailed!
posted by MeghanC at 4:30 PM on December 3, 2014

I don't know how many times I've had similar conversations

My wife usually raises an eyebrow and goes back to what she's working on, but she does love the animal videos.
posted by arcticseal at 6:57 PM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Diagonalize, I am so happy you enjoyed your Quonsmas gifts. I just followed my instincts and am so happy it worked out. Thanks to my daughter, Monopas, for the fortuitous packaging so that the contents survived the rain.

You just made my day!
posted by Altomentis at 7:49 PM on December 3, 2014

I received my Quonsar package of awesome and it's great! Two project kits that are relevant to my interests (brew your own cola and a robot scorpion) plus a Quonsar cat ornament. Thanks for the great gifts, it's always fun to get cool stuff every year!
posted by burnmp3s at 8:18 PM on December 3, 2014

I am going to thoroughly enjoy this fancy black tea and manatee-shaped tea infuser. Thanks, gaspode!
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 8:22 PM on December 3, 2014

Thank you, maryr! I love the desk set and Lisa Frank stickers, and I am eating Christmas-flavored candy as we speak!
posted by Ideal Impulse at 8:49 PM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Not to, y'know, drive a MeTa into a recipe thread or anything, but was this possibly a homemade cake? Any chance of getting the recipe? *makes puppydog eyes*
posted by Lexica at 9:51 PM on December 3, 2014 [3 favorites]

Reminds me of the old "test the rum" cake recipe, which I'm sure I read in Mad magazine a long time ago. One early Internet version is here.

Edited to add that I underestimated my google-fu, because I found the Mad cartoon, where Robinson Crusoe is looting the shipwreck and keeps testing the rum. It's from 1954, so I must have read it in a compilation book. Still makes me giggle.
posted by kostia at 10:28 PM on December 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yay, glad to see Ideal Impulse got her gift!

---

I got home from a late night of failure at work followed by a re-energizing drink and trivia with Mefites (with a 1-2 MeFi finish after two tie breakers!) to find that my goofy had arrived! I was excited that the package was big. :)

The stoneware casserole/bread pan with lid is beautiful! I look forward to craft projects making paper flowers and a felted kitty ornament assuming I can decode the Japanese instructions. The ginger syrup will be diluted with rum and some seltzer.

I was so excited by my gift that I made not one but two batches of caramels before going to need which was a poor life choice. I will try to send some to your return address, but as the box was only initialed, you remain anonymous and I'm not sure a package will get through. I'm going to re-read both Quonsar threads to see if I can figure out who to send them to.

Now, first, I must sleep. Thank you again, Secret Quonsar!
posted by maryr at 11:08 PM on December 3, 2014

Now I'm feeling bad because I was so desperate to not be too late I just shoved the stuff in a box. Nothing artisanal or clever. Not even wrapped.

:(

Sorry, Quonsee!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 1:03 AM on December 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yesterday the postal gods were smiling on me! I came home from the barn to three packages: I got my stupid expensive new stirrups that will hopefully reduce the risk of me falling off my horse due to lost stirrups and breaking more ribs/puncturing lungs again; I got Cookies from the Internet, which indeed are (very close to being were) the best cookies; and I got wonderful Kentucky-sourced makings for proper tea with scones and jam, which I am very much looking forward to! Thank you secret quonsar!
posted by drlith at 2:59 AM on December 4, 2014

Post office should be picking up the package for my quonsee today. I hope they like what I got (and wrote) for them. I'm actually really looking forward to knowing that it was received so that I can add the person to my MeFi contacts list and follow them on social media because they sound like such a cool person whom I'd love to be friends with IRL but we live in different states.
posted by TrishaLynn at 4:24 AM on December 4, 2014

A big thank you to my Secret Quonsar who had to deal with very little guidance and a scant posting history, yet somehow deduced that I like robots and games. Thank you for the Transformers and Phase 10 dice game!
posted by Svenny at 5:49 AM on December 4, 2014

Thank you, Lexica! It arrived safely. But there must be some kind of mistake... your lovely card (which is now decorating my living room) says you sent me a tea towel, and this looks much too nice to be a mere tea towel. I think I shall remake it into a pillow cover, and the picture of the loading crane at the Port of Oakland shall grace our couch for years to come!

Srsly. I didn't know tea towels could look this cool. Thank you and happy Quonsmas to you, too!

(Man, postage from the US -> Europe is crazy.)
posted by Too-Ticky at 6:05 AM on December 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

EEEEEEE!!!!! I have been Quonsed!! My Qunosar is anonymous! And once again, I am SUPER DUPER STOKED!!

They had no way of knowing this, but pizzelle cookies are one of my favorites, and since I don't have an iron, they are all the more precious to me! And toffee! AND A BEAUTIFUL PASHMINA SCARF.

I mean this is amazing and perfect and I am soooooo happy. THANK YOU QUONSAR!!!
posted by bibliogrrl at 6:26 AM on December 4, 2014 [4 favorites]

My gift was sent just yesterday so if you're still waiting to be Quonsed, give it a few more days.
posted by bondcliff at 6:55 AM on December 4, 2014

Munching Langolier, I'm so glad you liked it! I'll admit that I was a little worried that the cake was too boozy as I was packing it up.

Your Quonsmas prompt: "Something edible, no booze but food with booze is ok" finally got me in gear to try that fruitcake recipe that I've heard good things about on the internet for a while. The recipe takes two days -- during which time the rum (and the brandy) was well tested I promise.

The card was painted by Gay Scheibl, who is the aunt of a friend of mine. It was painted based on a photo taken on a trip to an emu farm. I just learned today that it is available in t-shirt form.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:13 AM on December 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

The gift I sent out is most likely still in transit, too.
posted by Too-Ticky at 8:48 AM on December 4, 2014

Quonsmas just arrived for me!!!!! I am so excited!! Check out my amazing goodies! You may not be able to tell what the smallish black object is. Well, IT'S A CASTING OF AN ALLOSAURUS CLAW. So AWESOME! I am beside myself. My quonsarer didn't reveal his or her identity to me, so dearest quonsarer, I hope you see this post and know that I am so appreciative of this badass gift! I love everything!! Thank you so much!!! <3
posted by hansbrough at 9:16 AM on December 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

Rock Steady: "My daughter and I will enjoy many an evening ganking Maize Walkers and flooping pigs in the Adventure Time Card Wars game. I'll try and post a picture of my Cerebral Blood Storm this evening. "

OK, so I didn't get a picture, but we did have a great game that ended in the Card Warsiest possible ending. If you are not familiar with the show this won't make much sense, but I need to tell someone about it, and you all are the nerdiest nerds I know, so here goes: We were both down to 2 Hit Points, and my daughter only had one Creature on her board. She played the Schoolhouse to add a Floop ability to her Punk Cat and Flooped him, but she forgot that Flooped creatures can't attack, so my execution was stayed, and I played a Creature to attack her on an empty lane, and now I am the Cool Guy!

So yeah, thanks again, dreamyshade!
posted by Rock Steady at 9:24 AM on December 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

I too packaged for protection, not festiveness. I take full credit for all enjoyment that my quonsee may get from their gifts, and anything I did wrong I'll blame on this being my first SQ. Lessons learned for next year!
posted by spinturtle at 9:32 AM on December 4, 2014

That was me hansbrough. I didn't mean to be secretive, in fact, there's a card that got left out of the box (I'm blaming either dog, three year old, or general forgetfulness on my part) that's currently working its way towards you via the USPS.
posted by Gygesringtone at 9:39 AM on December 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Due to several mix ups, my gift is only going out today. To Canada. Notoriously slow Canada. If it arrives after Solstice, just think of it as a New Year's gift.
posted by small_ruminant at 9:54 AM on December 4, 2014

Oh, no worries, Gygesringtone! Thanks so much again! I'm truly filled with quonsmas wonder and delight! :)
posted by hansbrough at 10:24 AM on December 4, 2014

My gift just went out, too, and should arrive by Monday. So sorry, Quonsee, apparently I am shockingly bad at meeting deadlines even when I really WANT to do so.

Sorry Quonsmas will be a bit late, but I hope you like your gifts!
posted by DingoMutt at 12:04 PM on December 4, 2014

Dear "P",

Thanks! I've never been to Pittsburgh, so the local flavor is right up my alley. And a chunk of coal means I keep the dead dinosaur theme going for another year!

Obligatory flickr link
posted by DigDoug at 2:11 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Argh. False alarm. My wife ordered a gift for a friend's child, and had it shipped to me (as a gift - no receipt) so it could be hand delivered. Apologies to my SQ for any confusion I might have caused!
posted by Svenny at 2:12 PM on December 4, 2014

Svenny I love that such is the randomness of Secret Quonsar that if you get a mystery package containing Transformers you don't think "Buh?" you think "Yay I've been Quonsed!"
posted by billiebee at 2:27 PM on December 4, 2014 [8 favorites]

I just got a message saying there's a package waiting for me when I get home tonight - I'm not expecting anything, so I suspect it's from my SQ. Yay!!!!!!!
posted by une_heure_pleine at 2:30 PM on December 4, 2014

Sarcasticah has bestowed upon me a wealth of Quonsmas joy, so much so that I might have actually teared up a little. Lest you think I am of the temperament to cry at anything, gaze upon this itty bitty teeny tiny menagerie she made me and weep upon your own keyboards!
_{ApathyGirl claims no responsibility for any and all squee-ing that may be induced from viewing this picture.}

Also? Yarn! Chocolate! Stickers! A new pocket-size journal! Handmade strawberry shortcake tea, ya'll!!
Merry Quonsmas, indeed!

_{Miniature anthropomorphic food kills me dead. Dead from cute.}
posted by ApathyGirl at 2:40 PM on December 4, 2014 [11 favorites]

Woooo, I'm so glad you liked your surprises!! I had WAY too much fun making the wee little things. The pear, in particular, gave me a case of the giddy giggles for at least 20 minutes after I finished it.
posted by sarcasticah at 3:00 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

(Also, there seems to be a package waiting for me at home! I'm champing at the bit to open it later!)
posted by sarcasticah at 3:01 PM on December 4, 2014

I have been stalking the USPS tracking number my SQ helpfully sent me, and it hasn't updated at all in THREE DAYS - yet it still predicts my package will arrive today. *peers out the window*
posted by meggan at 3:04 PM on December 4, 2014

sarcasticah - if you have an etsy store or something, please tell me. Is that a baked potato???
posted by artychoke at 3:08 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have been quonsed!!! NikitaNikita brought a big smile to my face on my very first SQ! A keychain that is both a cat and a doughnut to make me laugh and keep me from eating real cats and doughnuts. And a gorgeous lacquered and painted river stone that is beautiful and glossy and meditative and beautiful and glossy and I will get lost in it for hours and it is beautiful and glossy. And a 'welcome to SQ' note that was filled with so much random internet happiness that I was beaming before I even opened anything else. Thank you so much!
posted by spinturtle at 3:16 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

I HAVE BEEN QUONSED.

Thank you dialetheia! The beef jerky will be yummy.

(How did I know it was you? Well that statistic where julen said "most people don't get the person they are getting from" (I'm paraphrasing here (and using too many parentheses)), well, we aren't most people :D . Your package should be there tomorrow-ishness.)
posted by deezil at 3:19 PM on December 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

Behold the baked potato! It's roughly the size of a grape.
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:28 PM on December 4, 2014 [6 favorites]

> I have been stalking the USPS tracking number my SQ helpfully sent me, and it hasn't updated at all in THREE DAYS - yet it still predicts my package will arrive today.

I did the same thing for the package I sent. USPS tracking seems to work like a Windows progress bar — hangs out at 73% for a long time, and then *ZOOP* 100%.
posted by benito.strauss at 3:30 PM on December 4, 2014

Yay spinturtle! I am so glad you like the gifts. :) Yay.

Another fun part of the quonsing this year was that I signed up for text message tracking and I would get these texts every day as my package worked its way city to city, arrived in the destination city, loaded on the truck, riding on the truck etc. The last text I received like an hour ago said something like "IN THE MAILBOX". I thought it was a bit premature to sit down and check this thread now but Bam there is your comment. Man, technology sure is fun. Yay Mefi! Yay quonsing!
posted by NikitaNikita at 3:48 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, special update to last year's (still secret) quonsar: Look! I managed to keep 5 of the little succulents alive, flourishing, even!
They're so cheerful, they make me smile every day (even though I worry about killing them still).
posted by ApathyGirl at 4:04 PM on December 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

Just in case you didn't get my MeMail, thank you, still_wears_a_hat, for the lovely notebook and bookmark!
posted by book 'em dano at 4:14 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

I received my quonsar gift yesterday! I received a bunch of local items from Washington DC from Chocolates to chickpeas as well as a book series. My favorite was "The Obscure Animal Compendium" by Nathan Marsh. I would insert a link online, but the book is slightly obscure too which makes it that much cooler to receive since I would not find it on my own. The art work is cool and the stories about the animals are funny.


Thanks!
posted by Jaelma24 at 4:15 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Just got a notice that there's a package waiting for me at the post office. Tomorrow, tomorrow!
posted by PussKillian at 4:25 PM on December 4, 2014

I don't have an Etsy store! (I didn't design the wee things, so I'm never sure about the ethics or legality of selling them. And yes, that is a baked potato! With a pat of butter and some chives!!)
posted by sarcasticah at 4:52 PM on December 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Oh anon Secret Quonsar, thank you so much for the gift! I love it! Its perfect! Cheerful printed paper with decorated wreaths and sprigs. The yellow ribbon made of fancy yarn, expertly tied in a perfectly draped square knotted bow, one tail slightly more frayed than the other to a very charming effect. This after suffering the indignities of the post! The contents are soft. And the ribbon secures a card that says on the front "Do Not Open Until Christmas!"
The torture is quite delightful.
With no thought beforehand, upon sighting the box I promised myself I would access the PRESENT to ME immediately for the pure joy of it, an indulgence I do not always grant myself.
And now this Directive! In light of the ongoing discussion about Whether to Open "Early" or Not, what shall I do?
(Or must I burn an Ask?)

It IS beautiful. I cannot wait!! Or, can I? Whatever's inside could not possibly thrill as much as this authoritative directive. Or could it? Well, sq I cannot promise compliance, but I will try.
Hahaha we shall see!
Thank you SQ!
posted by bebrave! at 4:55 PM on December 4, 2014 [6 favorites]

I have been quonsed, by bibliogrrl who is awesome AND works at an awesome place!

I love the "Don't Panic" patch, especially appropriate for me as a Girl Scout leader, and I'm looking forward to a steaming mug full of Chi-town local coffee. I was also stoked about the Cicerone stuff. Enjoying a delicious beer now opened with a tuff bottle opener (pale ale, and yes, I looked it up in the cards). Funny how one person's $STUFFATMYJOB is another person's $AWESOME!

Thank you!!
posted by jeoc at 5:11 PM on December 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

Hooray! I received a package of all kinds of stationary and letter accessories and ephemera! Details include nostalgia-drenched Lisa Frank stationary, SPACE STICKERS, a hedgehog card (!), and an entire packet of these: postcards from the Catalog Men: Mail-Order Fashion Hunks. These postcards are obviously the best postcards, and I would be happy to pass along the SQ glow by mailing any interested parties a postcard replete with evidence of the time the wild polyesters were brutally turned into cheerful lilac flares. Memail me.

Thanks very much, youngergirl44! Going to go turn my apartment into a sticker space station now.
posted by jetlagaddict at 5:12 PM on December 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Oh jeoc - I AM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT. I admit to squeeing a bit when I saw you liked to homebrew. :D Merry merry Quonsmas!!!!
posted by bibliogrrl at 5:16 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

I got quonsed yesterday! Actually I think I may have been quonsed several days ago but my UPS guy is quite possibly in secret agent ninja training and hid my package under a pile of crap on my neighbor's side of the porch so if the fabulous jeri hadn't sent me a memail following up I may never have known to look for it!

Anyway I got quonsed AND IT WAS GREAT! I got these super awesome adorable earrings and a squeaky stegosaurus for my dog (who was very troubled by being asked to sit still for the camera)!

I don't remember quite what I put in my gift wishlist thing, but I don't think I ever mentioned that purple was my favorite color or that I actually have a collection of dinosaur earrings, but it is and I do, so these are just so completely perfect. The hemp stegosaurus has gone from being soft and plush to that delightful "dog slobber crust" texture in just this short time. Truman loves it. Great gifts, thank you so much, jeri!!

Also I am THE WORST and just sent my quonsmas gift out yesterday. I do have a reason, though. I was hoping and waiting for a particular thing to be restocked but particular thing is from a small operation and with Thanksgiving happening last week a restock didn't happen :( But! To be slightly obnoxiously cryptic about this, any Boston area mefites who have not yet been quonsed, if you are the lucky chosen one, your expected delivery date is Tuesday the 9th!
posted by phunniemee at 6:19 PM on December 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

YOU GUYS. Thanks to deludingmyself, this Quonsmas now has CAPYBARA. That's right, it's not just for wombats and platypuses anymore. I cannot tell you how ADORABLE and SNUGGLY SOFT this best Capybara of all, is. But it IS. This alone, obviously, would have made an extremely brilliant and entirely satisfying Quonsmas. But deliciously included in this package was a dark chocolate Oaxacan Sampler including discs of Cacao Puro, Cinnamon, Vanilla and Guajillo Chili! AND, also arriving today, a lovely handwritten postcard, with WOMBAT.

Thank you so much, deludingmyself! So totally brilliant! Happy Quonsmas to all!
Also thank you to the most excellent Quonsar Staff to whom I reported receipt of this gift earlier today, and who were wise to remind me not to fold, spindle, or mutilate my capybara.
posted by Glinn at 6:27 PM on December 4, 2014 [5 favorites]

I was anonymously quonsed today! I got an amazing assortment of Memphis goodies (a pin! Seasoning from a famous restaurant! Espresso caramels!! An Elvis Santa postcard, which might be the most amazing thing I've ever seen). On top of that , my mystery gifter also got me a vegetarian cookbook, which is perfect. Thank you so, so so much. Here's a pic of it all. So great.

In an extreme coincidence, Mr Fig and I are going on a roadtrip down south in a little over a month, and Memphis is one of the cities on our itinerary. How crazy is that? So, if my Secret Quonsar wants to meet up, I'd love to buy you a thank-you drink!
posted by Fig at 6:28 PM on December 4, 2014

Svenny is my new favorite person! I arrived home from work to a box of gorgeous yarn (Merino/yak/silk blend!! Perfect colors!! So pretty even my non-knitter husband said "Oooooh!") and chocolates! I need to take good pictures of the yarn in daylight, because the colors are seriously stunning. Thank you so much, Svenny, you done GOOD!!
posted by sarcasticah at 6:34 PM on December 4, 2014

Quonsmas came early! I received a lovely package from my Secret Quonsar, LN, containing chocolate (with almonds! with maple sugar!), chutney, mango hot sauce, garlic smoked salt, and a jar of strawberry and balsamic jam. Yum and wow and I'm salivating just looking at these treats! Thank you, LN, and a very merry Quonsmas to you!
posted by Songdog at 6:42 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thank you dear angiep for sending me the most delightful secret quonsmas gift package!

Warm mittens for cold ski nights, some yummy habanero sea salt chocolate (oh my goodness) a little book with a delightful bookmark and OMG A PAIR OF SKIS AND SKI POLES !

OK the skis and poles are sized and destined for my Christmas tree - but how did you know that I live for skiing? Thank you from the bottom of my heart, it was so delightful to receive the package in the mail this morning.
posted by seawallrunner at 6:51 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have confirmation that my QS gift will be delivered tomorrow...whew!
posted by Benway at 6:52 PM on December 4, 2014

Nimmie Amee, thank you so much for the Oakland Spice Shop kit! OMG they both smell fantastic and I can't wait to use both of them! The Harissa powder smells exceptionally good. I'm so excited to use them I want to put one in my Chai Latte I'm drinking right now, but will save it for when I cook this weekend! Thanks again!
posted by daninnj at 6:52 PM on December 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

Seriously, I cannot do this yarn justice, it's so pretty. Look how awesome!!
posted by sarcasticah at 7:15 PM on December 4, 2014 [11 favorites]

seawallrunner, I was so worried that your parcel was transported to another dimension as Canada Post tracking said it was delivered Monday! Glad that everything arrived and you like it.
posted by angiep at 7:19 PM on December 4, 2014

Well, Fig, I was really loving the anonymity, but if you're headed to my town, I have to confess. I quonsed ya. Let me know when you'll be here and we'll have that cocktail. I am so glad you liked your gift.
posted by raisingsand at 8:24 PM on December 4, 2014 [4 favorites]

Oops, false alarm - had forgotten about that random thing I ordered weeks ago that finally turned up tonight. Apologies to my SQ for any confusion.
posted by une_heure_pleine at 8:29 PM on December 4, 2014

Whew! LOTS of updates over the past few days. The rush of good news has been, well, good news!

We three quonsczar elves are always happy to pass your thanks onto your secret quonsar if you don't want to - or can't - mail them directly or post in this thread. It makes us really happy to do so. Not only do we pass on thanks - a lovely gesture that adds more positivity to the world - but we know to update our tracker with the ever-valuable Yes! in our Did it Arrive column in the spreadsheet.

If you are interested in being a second chancer and have not already sent us an email about it, you should do so! Due to some unfortunate life circumstances, we'll be assigning our first second chancer this weekend, but most of them will be assigned later in the month.

Next statistics update will be this weekend!
posted by julen at 9:39 PM on December 4, 2014 [4 favorites]

thomas j wise was an excellent quonser, providing many cookies, and the package to MY quonsee should reach ... Canada ... soon.

also I forgot to put my username, so this is anyone's game really. you could be getting a package from SPACE for all you know. SPACE.
posted by tooloudinhere at 9:58 PM on December 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Svenny, sarcasticah, that yarn is amazingly gorgeous and I really really need one of you to please tell me what it is so that I can go acquire some for my best friend's holiday gift. and maybe also for me because it's so pretty and I think my dad is giving me yarn money for holidays and i neeeeed that.
posted by MeghanC at 5:57 AM on December 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

!! Thank you raisingsand, for both the fantastic gifts and breaking your anonymity. I'll post an IRL event once Mr Fig and I have our schedule down pat.
posted by Fig at 6:47 AM on December 5, 2014

bebrave!, open it! I double doggy dare you to! come on bebrave!... BE BRAVE!!!
posted by daninnj at 7:43 AM on December 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

Look out Quonsee! Canada Post tracking says that today is the delivery date but it's not showing "delivered" yet, which means that your package is ON ITS WAY TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW! GO STAND BY THE WINDOW!!
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 9:05 AM on December 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

Oh my goodness, my day has been made! Thank you mmascolino! I received two very lovely looking books about his fair city. One Art Deco book and one on the history of chili. AND a homemade card! Thank you!

(and tracking shows my Quonsee will be receiving their package probably tomorrow)
posted by schnee at 9:15 AM on December 5, 2014

Thank you so much, deludingmyself! So totally brilliant! Happy Quonsmas to all!
Also thank you to the most excellent Quonsar Staff to whom I reported receipt of this gift earlier today, and who were wise to remind me not to fold, spindle, or mutilate my capybara.

You're welcome, Glinn! And the Quonsmas elves must not know you as well as I do after all this e-stalking, because I'm pretty sure you're 100% incapable of spindling or mutilating an adorable capybara. :P
posted by deludingmyself at 9:16 AM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Chasles' gift came through! A collection of items including a snow globe, magnet, and Christmas decoration. There was also a lovely postcard with a book, The Time Traveler's Almanac. Thanks for a lovely Quonsmas!
posted by jadepearl at 9:45 AM on December 5, 2014

I was thrilled to find a package on my front porch yesterday--gift wrapped and everything! It was fantastically fun to open, and I received an awesome new cookbook from TigerMoth. Thank you!!
posted by pril at 10:06 AM on December 5, 2014

My husband reports my gift has arrived!! Can't wait to go home from this shitty day at work and open it!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:04 AM on December 5, 2014

I got mine today! Not sure if I'm going to open yet or wait until Christmas.
posted by smackfu at 11:06 AM on December 5, 2014

Thank you so much to my SQ in Austin TX! I loved the KGSR Broadcasts CD, and I've already started using the awesome IXIA notebook at work. :)

The rest of the gifts were perfect for me too. Thanks so much for making me a happy Quonsee!
posted by kinsey at 11:55 AM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Whee, after 4 days of nothing, the tracking page finally says "Delivered, In/At Mailbox"! Hope my quonsee likes it...
posted by msbubbaclees at 1:22 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

My Quonsee's gift is in transit - still a couple states away per tracking info. But it should be there soon!
posted by SisterHavana at 1:27 PM on December 5, 2014

MeghanC, I purchased the yarn at Knitorious in St. Louis, but it's from a local dyer, DyeabolicalYarns, who has an Etsy shop. It's from her Yakety Yak line.

sarcasticah, I'm so relieved you like the colors. I wasn't sure what direction to go with - the choices were a bit overwhelming!
posted by Svenny at 1:33 PM on December 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

Wow, it is harder to wait and find out if my Quonsee liked my present than waiting for my own present to arrive.
posted by Margalo Epps at 1:37 PM on December 5, 2014 [15 favorites]

Thanks, Svenny! I'm looking at her shop right now, and will almost certainly have ordered something before bedtime.
posted by MeghanC at 2:44 PM on December 5, 2014

First things first... I'll be relieved to hear that it arrived at all!
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:44 PM on December 5, 2014

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The mailman stopped in front of my driveway to bring a package up the door, and I hoped that it would be my SQ present - but we're ordering lots of internet stuff these days, so I figured it was just something I ordered.

But I was delighted to find that it WAS my Quonsar gift from a "Ms. Quonsar." Inside there were two lovely gifts...

IT WAS PERFECT. ThePinkSuperhero has gifted me with Stephen Sondheim's 'Look I Made a Hat' - Sondheim is pretty much a musical theatre god, for those who are not musical theatre nerds, and somehow I didn't have this book yet (actually, I've never even read it. I think I requested it at the library once but never picked it up)! My package also contained a GORGEOUS treble clef ornament! And apparently there's another piece coming!

Oh happy happy day. Thank you SO MUCH ThePinkSuperhero! It was a rough week, so this was a fantastic way to start off the weekend!
posted by firei at 3:29 PM on December 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

I was Quonsed! I was Quonsed!

A package in a Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer envelope was waiting for me when I came home from work today. It's from "Secret Quonsar" in NY state. My SQ is amazing! In that envelope was the Big Bad Book of Crosswords. I LOVE crosswords! Also included were 5 pencils from New Paltz, NY (I like things that aren't from where I live.)

And! AND! I also got a World of Warcraft MegaBloks figurine. But not just ANY one. The Paladin. MeFites...my beloved WoW main is a paladin! You didn't know this, SQ, but I have the Orc warrior MegaBloks right on the shelf above my head. Now he has a rival.

Thank you thank you thank you, secret Quonsar. May the joy you sent to me today be multiplied a hundredfold in 2015!
posted by kimberussell at 3:58 PM on December 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

I have been quonsed! Thank you nameless Secret Quonsar! I got an awesome lunchbox with pictures of my kids all over it and a silver thermos and Flash Scrabble (which I have never heard of but I love regular Scrabble) and Hello Kitty chocolate covered Macadamia nuts. (I'd wonder how you knew I liked Hello Kitty, but everyone loves Hello Kitty and chocolate and macadamia nuts, right?) I'll have to make everyone play flash scrabble with me this weekend and then bring my lunch to work in style next week! Thanks!
posted by artychoke at 3:59 PM on December 5, 2014

Hurray, firei, I'm so glad it arrived! I'll forward the last piece when it arrives...at this rate, it'll be there by Valentine's Day :P

My gift from Quonsar arrived today, too- a beautiful decorative cross! I mentioned that I enjoy them; this one is so intricate and smells lovely, too. Thank you, Benway!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:27 PM on December 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

Awesome, it got there, ThePinkSuperhero.... it can also be used as an ornament...sort of... on a strong branch... But glad you like it! My wife wants one for our house now after I showed it to her... so, I am getting another :)
posted by Benway at 5:14 PM on December 5, 2014

I have been awesomely Quonsed! Thank you so much PareidoliaticBoy!! I tore into the wrapping to discover some of the very best of BC goodies: a cedar plank, cookbook, and skewer barbecue thingy for planked salmon; some beautiful smoked salmon cuz maybe you folks in Lotus Land can still bbq, but at -30 in Calgary it's going to be a while and this way I get to have salmony noms IMMEDIATELY; a super west coast First Nations (Haida, I'm thinking) eagle design coffee mug; and a lovely card with glowing trees (possibly from Stanley Park?).

Does Quonsmas get any better than this? No, it does not. Thank you, thank you PareidoliaticBoy.
posted by angiep at 5:28 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Svenny, you picked excellent colors! They compliment each other beautifully!
posted by sarcasticah at 6:05 PM on December 5, 2014

Good News! This year's Gavle Goat is still intact and not charred at all. Yet. You may proceed with your quonsmas-related activities, no limited to obsessively looking at delivery tracking systems and filling up on rum cake and putting things in boxes and doing happy dances around your living room.
posted by julen at 6:57 PM on December 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yay! I got quonsed today. Well I am not sure when because we use a post box - I picked up mail today.

I received two boxes of great gifts. One contained a package of exquisitely beautiful origami paper. The other had a classic and wonderful book on Paper Airplanes and an Origami Omnibus. There are enough wonderful origami designs of different styles to keep me folding for a long time. And I am looking forward to reading all the details about the aerodynamics of paper planes (and that isn't sarcasm, it is the kind of techie thing I love.)

Thank you, anonymous Secret Quonsar, for such thoughtfully chosen gifts!
posted by Altomentis at 7:19 PM on December 5, 2014

Some sweet, sweet quonsing just happened in my house! My dog was sniffing all around this mysterious package, trying to open it with his paws and mouth cause he smelled the goodness inside. I got to the chocolate bar and the granola beer bar (what?!) before he did, and I'm glad I did! I also got a new celeb biography for my candy-deprived brain, a little buddy that grows in water, and my two fave things: a sweet (and loud!) bright orange whistle and a lenticular pin that says "I <3 Cough Syrup"!

Thank you so much, Silverstatue! I am now happily reading and also eating chocolate for dinner, and I am totally wearing that pin to work tomorrow (want to see how long I can make it through the day before someone notices it).

Also, uh...when I got your package I burst out laughing when I saw where it came from. I suspect you may get a chuckle too when you see the return address on your Quonsmas package.
posted by pandalicious at 7:39 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Ooh ooh, which celeb biography did you get, Pandalicious?
posted by SisterHavana at 8:11 PM on December 5, 2014

The Autobiography of Larry Sanders as told to Garry Shandling!
posted by pandalicious at 8:19 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

It's been sort of a rough month, including some shitty mail yesterday, so imagine my excitement when I discovered a package from Spirit of Quonsar!

Thank you, msbubbaclees! I've had a Videri chocolate bar before and it was super tasty, so I can't wait to eat my new one. I also went to a concert tonight wearing my snazzy new jewelry and was 300% fancier than usual. Happy Quonsmas!
posted by ferret branca at 8:21 PM on December 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

Somehow, I ended up receiving TWO Quonsar packages! A lovely banjo themed beard brush from the USA, and The coolest lapel pin (now in a prominent place of honor on my vest) and some Masonic anti drug stamps from the UK. Neither included their Mefi handle, so whoever you are, THANKS!
posted by TheCoug at 8:44 PM on December 5, 2014

Thank you to the ? sender. The book and painting dovetail perfectly together. It is the great type of Quonsar that makes it awesome.
posted by Nackt at 8:49 PM on December 5, 2014

Haha yayyy! I'm so happy you liked your gifts, Pandalicious! The lady at the bookstore was laughing so much when I bought the Garry Shandling book. She said she never thought anyone would ever buy it. I told her it was a Quonsmas miracle!

My quonsmas package is temporarily MIA.... the tracking says it was delivered yesterday but I think my landlord grabbed it by mistake. I will report back later.
posted by silverstatue at 7:31 AM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Okay so Amazon tells me package A was delivered a few days ago, and USPS tells me package B was delivered on Friday, but I haven't heard anything from my Quonsee yet. Maybe they're waiting to open it till Christmas? I hope the packages got there safely...

I'm waiting to open my packages until what I sent out gets there at least, so my Quonser and I will just have to be patient... :)
posted by RedOrGreen at 8:05 AM on December 6, 2014

Guys guys guys the doorbell just rang and I got my Quonsmas present!

topoisomerase knit me a scarf. I am just floored that a stranger from the Internet KNIT ME A SCARF. topoisomerase, I can't tell you how perfectly to my taste it is, except to say it is almost exactly like a scarf I made for myself several years ago (in color, gauge, pattern), except it is new and shiny and soft, instead of ratty and stretched out and destined for the Goodwill. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

The enormous box ALSO contained the most adorable whale notecards (with new pens!!!), special New Jersey peanut brittle and chocolate-covered Oreos, Metafilter buttons, and the most lovely and detailed notes about each of the items. I love that you are lately of Somerville also, topoisomerase -- I wish we'd been IRL pals.

Thank you so much, topoisomerase, and merry Quonsmas, every one!
posted by teditrix at 9:45 AM on December 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

Bibliogrrl - I squeed when I saw Cicerone Program in your note, so.

Mutual squee is the best part of Quonsmas!
posted by jeoc at 11:19 AM on December 6, 2014

I was able to get to the post office this morning and GUESS WHAT WAS WAITING FOR ME? An envelope from Australia! And within it was the cutest little Butterphant necklace you ever did see, along with a note proclaiming me the Queen of the Universe! I don't see a Metafilter handle, but since your name is on your Etsy shop (which I'm now going to go browse, omg) I will say thank you, thank you, thank you, Gem! Funky awesome necklaces are really the only type of jewelry I ever wear and I will wear this little guy with lots of happiness.
posted by PussKillian at 11:22 AM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have the best SQ.

I've had the most awful week: A 20-hour chain of flight delays and broken planes on Monday for a trip that should have taken six hours, followed by a nasty flu and too much work.

My mystery SQ sent me homemade chocolatey cinnamony rice krispie treats! They are individually wrapped with shiny little bows! They are the only food I have in the house right now and I am literally in tears right now because someone made something for meeeee.

Thank you, mystery SQ!
posted by mochapickle at 11:22 AM on December 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

Also, SQ, I may have misread things and you might not be Gem but ordered from her store and maybe you wish to stay anonymous or maybe you will pop up in this thread but either way I'm so tickled by this gift so thank you once again!
posted by PussKillian at 11:30 AM on December 6, 2014

I was nearly WEEPING with joy opening my Quonsmas package just now. A huge, huge, Quonsarful thank you to hansbrough! Everything was wrapped beautifully and your note was a treat. I've never read the book (The Secret History by Donna Tartt) but it sounds right up my alley, and according to Goodreads, two of my friends have already read it which makes me think it's basically perfect for me. The little birdie letter opener is also completely my style and super useful to boot! I've of course sampled the sweets already (YUM!!!) and the feather notebook is super cute and aaaah! A letterpress postcard! I love letterpress stuff! hansbrough, you are an expert gift-giver and I am so pleased you were my SQ this year.
posted by meggan at 11:34 AM on December 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

I was quonsed on Thursday and my anonymous secret quonsar really nailed it! Some excellent little folding scissors for my knitting bag, a soft crocheted washcloth that my toddler immediately tried to claim, and two incredible Theo chocolate bars in the perfect flavors -salted almond and coffee and cream. Beautifully done, internet stranger, and thank you!
posted by SeedStitch at 12:35 PM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have been quonsed! My SQ sent me a great manatee tea infuser, a lovely necklace and a CD! Thank you quonsar!
posted by cozenedindigo at 12:40 PM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Many thanks to ShawnString for the amazing collection of Quonsmas goodies that fulfilled all my Quonsmas wishes: Berger cookies are my new favourite thing, vintage stereoscopes are even better than vintage postcards, and I have replaced the tiny reindeer that pulls my tiny Santa with a tiny wooly mammoth!
posted by atropos at 1:01 PM on December 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

*twiddles thumbs*
posted by infini at 1:48 PM on December 6, 2014

The waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiting, it is haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!
posted by Faintdreams at 2:09 PM on December 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

YAY!! meggan, I do not know what was up with the USPS taking so long to deliver your gift. I'm super relieved that it arrived safely and that you like it!!!! And I'm doubly excited to learn that you've never read The Secret History. It's my favorite book of all time and I have a hunch that you will dig it! Merry Quonsmas!
posted by hansbrough at 3:01 PM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thanks for the fancy beer glasses, diagonalize! I am using one right now.

(So glad you liked the Butterphant, PussKillian.)
posted by box at 3:21 PM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Argh! Now the package I sent my Quonsee is not supposed to arrive until the 9th! That's Tuesday! (You can stop waiting by the window now, Quonsee....)
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 3:39 PM on December 6, 2014

So, you may or may not know this, but it has been raining in California. This is news not only because of DROUGHT, but because a full week of rain this time of year means MUSHROOMS! It's mushroom season! Yay!

I headed out this morning to some spots in the East Bay where I've harvested chanterelles in years past -- but not last year, because last year it did not rain, and there was therefore no mushroom season, and it made me grumpy. It was a grumpy, mushroomless year.

But this year? Rain and more rain!

So I had two years of excitement built up in me, see, when I got in the car this morning.

I got to my first spot, hiked a mile in (uphill!), and then found that the place I was headed was off-limits due to a slide. (Calling it a mudslide is too melodramatic and too Southern Cal. This was just a slide.) So I trudge back down to the car and head to my second place. This spot is just on the other side of the bushes from the parking lot of a county park. I always feel like people think I'm up to no good when I'm back there, behind the bushes, so I tend to try to sneak about and walk real quietly (which makes ME feel like I'm up to no good.) Have to walk carefully, too, because the area is positively overrun with poison oak. Oh right, here's the thing I forgot to mention: The chanterelles that grow around here are associated with oak trees -- specifically, coastal live oak. They have a symbiotic relationship with the oaks, so to find the mushrooms, you look for the trees. Thing is, they also have an affinity for blackberry brambles and that dastardly poison oak. When you're in search of chanterelles around here, you're pretty much guaranteed to encounter poison oak. It's a calculated risk, then, and you must decide how badly you want the chanterelles: Just a little bit, so you're therefore willing to skirt the edges of the poison oak border, with it maybe coming in contact with your pants legs; a little bit more than that, so you go deeper into the woods, but you're really cautious about where you step; or really, really bad, because you've been jonesing for two years and it finally rained, dammit, so you plunge into the oak forest, with your sleeves tucked into rubber gloves, and poison oak be damned. And that's where I was today.

One hour of code-red poison-oak exposure later, I finally admitted that I was skunked, and I headed home.

The (pouty) drive home was spent carefully planning the extrication process -- extrication of myself from my poison clothes, that is. By the time I pulled into the driveway, I had it all worked out, and the plan commenced. Enter the house; make a beeline for the bathroom; DO NOT LET CAT RUB ON LEGS; remove shirt so that it does not touch face (more difficult than it sounds); remove pants without touching them at all, except to unzip; scrub hands viciously with soap and water; into the shower. And oh! That shower! Remember the movie Silkwood, and how Meryl Streep got scrubbed raw in the shower by a mean old lady in a Hazmat suit? That was the shower I had. A very abrading experience.

After my decontamination, I put the soiled clothes into the washing machine, along with the bath towels (just in case). I finally said hello to the cat, since I'd dissed her on the way in. After a minute, I realize that the cat is sitting in front of the washing machine, staring. That is odd behavior -- not for every cat, but for this one. She looked up at me while I was judging her for her weirdness and then I heard a *clunk* come from inside the washer. The cat looked smugly back at the machine and said "See? Something's in there." *clunk*

I open the washer and go fishing around in there, but couldn't find anything. I have now just been arm-deep in poison oak water, so I go and rescrub my arm, which by this point is reacting to all of the soap it's been subjected to. I'm drying my arm off on a clean towel, when I hear a *clunk clunk*. The cat's still in front of the washer, saying "I told you so, asswipe." Again I go fishing, and I find.... Sigh. I find my cell phone. My carefully planned extrication process had featured a way to empty my front pockets without ever touching the presentation side of my jeans, but it omitted a process for removing my cell phone from my back pocket. [This is a replacement cell phone, by the way. I bought it a couple months ago to replace one that was stolen.]

As of that moment, I was officially having a bad day.

I went to rescrub my fishing arm for the umpteenth time. I then attended to the phone, taking the back cover off, etc. I needed to look up what you're supposed to do with a machine-washed cell phone, but, uh, the cell phone was in no position to Google. My computer was still in the car, so I hate-walked out there, barefoot and with wet hair, cursing myself and my really bad day, and trying to convince myself that the body-wide itching that was just starting was either psychosomatic or the result of soap overload, and not the beginning of a poison oak rash.

I'm retrieving my computer when a postal truck pulls up. I didn't make eye contact because I wasn't really dressed for being out on the street, but Mr. Mailman beckoned me. He was holding this box in his hand and scrutinizing it like it was one of the oddest things he'd ever delivered. (Come on dude, it's a box.) He finally asks me, "Um, so is there a...... a mud... a mudpie... who lives here? That doesn't even make any sense."

Mister, my whole day at this point doesn't make any sense. Give me the damn box. (I didn't say that, but I was thinking it.)

It was a package from a secret Quonsperson, and I was excited, but I needed to finish attending to my phone before opening it.

I'm just totally in a shitty mood at this point, and itchy, and mushroomless, and really pissed off at myself for two cell phone mishaps in as many months (totally not like me! really!), and mostly, again despondently mushroomless.

The phone successfully nestled into a bag of rice, as directed by the Internet, I finally open the Quonsmas package.

In that package? Shitting you not? A mushroom growing kit.

So MsVader, thank you for redeeming what had otherwise been a pretty crappy day, and for reminding me that however bad things are, you'll probably end up laughing at yourself eventually.

It's another Quonsmas miracle!

Happy Quonsmas to all, and to all a good night.


Soooo itchy.
posted by mudpuppie at 4:35 PM on December 6, 2014 [55 favorites]

Mudpuppie, that was beautiful. I will think of your tale in trying times, and try to be mindful of keeping perspective.

Metafilter: Shitting you not? A mushroom growing kit.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:43 PM on December 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

It's on my SQ's front porch. Your front poooooorrrch!
posted by TrishaLynn at 7:40 PM on December 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

Update: today brought a sticker sheet of wee historical figures from Hark! A Vagrant. I have long desired this and now I have a tiny Ben Franklin and Genghis Khan to beautify and reign terror over my notebooks!! Thank you so much again to youngergirl44 for a truly lovely Quonsmas.
posted by jetlagaddict at 8:42 PM on December 6, 2014 [6 favorites]

I got one of those manatee tea infusers from my work's Yankee Swap thingie last year! I swiped it from someone, even, because it's so cute!!
posted by sarcasticah at 11:39 PM on December 6, 2014

My Quonsee's package made it to their state as of yesterday. Quonsmus will come very soon for someone!
posted by SisterHavana at 12:04 AM on December 7, 2014

julen, are you keeping statistics on manatee tea infusers along with the playtpus and marmoset counts?
posted by janell at 12:06 AM on December 7, 2014

I have not been going so granular, but that's mostly because I didn't anticipate an explosion in the use of manatee tea infusers. But since you mention statistics:

Statistics Time!

399 people are participating this year. Here's what we know:

149 (37.3%) have received their gift.
8 (2%) have probably or maybe received their gift.
81 (20.3%) of the gifts have a status in our tracker but have not arrived yet.
161 (40.4%) of the gifts are a complete mystery to us.

37 different animals have played a starring role in gifts that we know about.
3 packages that we know of have taken bizarre non-intuitive uncommonsensical routes to their destination.
3 pairs of people are quonsing each other, thereby proving I am great at making sure people didn’t draw themselves and terrible at identifying how many pairs of mutual quonsing there actually were because two of the three were a surprise to me, too!
posted by julen at 12:16 AM on December 7, 2014 [5 favorites]

I sincerely hope my dropbear, frogs and snakes were included in that animal count. The dropbear gets cranky, you see, I'd hate him to be ignored. That's why I sent him to someone else.

(PS: Quonsee, the label says "calendar and toys". It lies. There is no calendar, but the post office lady knew I was stressed and gave me a half-completed customs form, and said for me to not worry about changing it, it would get there intact anyway.)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 2:23 AM on December 7, 2014

A big thank you to my semi-anonymous secret quonsar (the gift slip had your real name but it doesn't correspond to a MeFi username as far as I can see) for the lovely "Humans of New York". Fascinating pictures! I am looking forward to having the leisure to look through them all over the holiday break.
posted by Cheese Monster at 3:02 AM on December 7, 2014

Yay, got some neat little animal figurines from my secret Finnish quonsar! Thank you!
posted by HFSH at 4:09 AM on December 7, 2014

USPS says my quonsee's package was delivered "in or at the mailbox" yesterday. I'm as bemused by the oddly nonspecific phrasing (is the package under the mailbox? Next to the mailbox? Around the corner from the mailbox?) as I am excited it arrived!
posted by DingoMutt at 6:47 AM on December 7, 2014 [3 favorites]

Also, after seeing DigDoug's gifts, I'm kicking myself at not thinking to include Pittsburgh Popcorn in my own package - that stuff is the shit. On the other hand, I did resist the urge to send along Black & Gold Pierogies, which I guess is probably a win for everyone.
posted by DingoMutt at 7:02 AM on December 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

A lovely Quonsmas gift arrived from an "R. Steady, Metafilter Industries" yesterday--a super soft open weave cowl/infinity scarf in beautiful teal and gray colorway. Perfect for our generally mild, yet sometimes nippy NC weather. Thanks Rock Steady!
posted by msbubbaclees at 9:48 AM on December 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

Sometimes the best part about Quonsmas is "watching" everyone else open their gift. ^_^
posted by patheral at 10:29 AM on December 7, 2014 [11 favorites]

crepesofwrath -- thank you for my lovely bundle of goodies! They are spectacular. The peanut butter cup alone took me to a whole new plane of consciousness!
posted by Mrs. Rattery at 12:16 PM on December 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

Welp, USPS says my quonsar gift was delivered "in or at the mailbox" on Friday at 4:32 PM. So now I can stop worrying if it was received and just worry about whether is sucks.
posted by jeoc at 12:20 PM on December 7, 2014 [2 favorites]

Mine was also declared In The Mailbox yesterday by USPS. I hope they're right...
posted by wenestvedt at 12:22 PM on December 7, 2014

Yay! Having just been laid low by a cold and feeling pretty miserable about my shot weekend, I checked the mail yesterday and discovered that the awesome Mrs. Rattery had not only given me a really handsome Toronto/bicycle-themed shirt, but had also actually designed the shirt and had it printed for just this occasion! I am now the proud owner of a cool 100% unique shirt and it's the happiest Quonsmas ever! (I shall endeavor to post a picture of said shirt when I am less ill.) Thank you, Mrs. Rattery!
posted by introp at 12:28 PM on December 7, 2014 [6 favorites]

Pouts seeing all the received all the packages. Yea I'm jealous. But patient.
posted by ShawnString at 4:52 PM on December 7, 2014 [2 favorites]

I left the apartment early this morning, and there was a USPS package outside my door. At 6:45am on a Sunday morning. Since I definitely checked the mail yesterday, this package's appearance is a Quonsmas miracle unto itself. But even better was what was inside! A comic anthology highly relevant to my interests and signed to me by the author of one of the stories, who is also my Quonsar; a delightful single page of a story with instructions to tweet what I think should happen next so I can receive an additional page each month; and an assortment of Christmas candy. I am beyond touched and thrilled to receive something so thoughtful and personal. Thank you, TrishaLynn!! Best Quonsar is best.
posted by rhiannonstone at 5:16 PM on December 7, 2014 [3 favorites]

I have been quonsed! Thank you, mysterious Evanstonian, for these wonderful additions to my robut collection.

I have quonsed late, but the deed is done! My Massachusetts victim should feel extra expectant.
posted by Freyja at 5:23 PM on December 7, 2014 [2 favorites]

Thank you jessypie, for the completely AWESOME quonsar gift! My cats loved their gift - they even opened it themselves! I'm sure my babby on the way is going to love his rattle - which was even blue - and received on the day I found out I'm having a boy! The book will be consumed immediately, along with the tea. And I loved the card. THANK YOU thank you THANK YOU!! =)
posted by xiaolongbao at 5:44 PM on December 7, 2014 [4 favorites]

My landlord finally handed over my quonsor packages, hooray! I received so many goodies - gorgeous fancy delicious smelling soaps, some turkish baklava which I already ate half of (and oh my god, so good) a chocolate bar that contains crystalized ginger which is basically my favorite food ever, and some very needed sporks for my winter camping adventure next month!

Thank you, thank you Pandalicious! I'm glad we ended up quonsing each other this year :)
posted by silverstatue at 5:52 PM on December 7, 2014 [2 favorites]

I have been quonsed, and wonderfully so! The note is signed Serendipity, but it seems there are no MF users by that name, so I'm slightly confused as to your identity, but I'm delighted by the gift. Thank you so much for my gorgeous knitting ring! It arrived in the middle of a truly crappy, migraine-filled weekend in which my child has strep and my dog's legs are failing, and it was a package of perfect delight. I'm already reconsidering some holiday knitting plans--the headband thing my mother wanted was going to be cablework, but I feel like it'd be even nicer as tonal colorwork, so that might be what I start tomorrow, instead!
posted by MeghanC at 6:29 PM on December 7, 2014

This is my written record of how delightful it was to come home to find my Secret Quonsar gift from Kinsey! Thank you! There's a gorgeous tin of fancy sea salts to try, a tiny spoon, and peppermint sugar, which I plan to dust on many a cookie over the next few weeks. How did I not know that peppermint sugar existed, such a good idea! Thanks!
posted by chocotaco at 6:53 PM on December 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

I love this happy thread and I want to live in it forever.
posted by mudpuppie at 7:13 PM on December 7, 2014 [12 favorites]

To be clear, I'm the sender of the gift USPS assures is at the mailbox. Not the receiver. I not wondering if what I will receive sucks.

The Quonsar gift I received was THE BEST.

Just to be clear.
posted by jeoc at 7:35 PM on December 7, 2014 [5 favorites]

Hours later, having had occasion to return to my room, I see that asking my partner to double-check the name of my Quonsar was, in fact, not my best plan, as he got the name totally wrong, and I feel stupid now. Soliloquy! Thank you so much. I remain delighted, and have spent the last hour using the ring, single-stranded, to avoid the feeling of woolen yarn dragging over dry skin. Soon, this hat will be done, and the colorwork will begin.
posted by MeghanC at 8:39 PM on December 7, 2014

I am so regretting not springing for tracking on my quonsee's package. How long does the cheapest international shipping take (which was still not cheap)? I forgot to ask at the post office and the googling is saying it could take anywhere from a day to forever, depending on where I look. aaarrrrrgghh... Sorry quonsee! I hope you get it one day! And then I hope you like it!
posted by artychoke at 8:48 PM on December 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'd just like to thank mudpuppie for her amazing tale of Quonsar magic.

So even though I'm still waiting patiently to be Quonsed, I feel like her story was an extra Quonsar gift and I'm just the luckiest Quonsee ever.
posted by MsVader at 8:59 PM on December 7, 2014 [2 favorites]

People!

PLEASE please PLEASE look to your email, your spam folders, your junk mail, and anyplace else an email from us might be dwelling. We are waiting on lots of folks to respond to our emails about if they've gotten their gifts, if the gifts they sent were X, and other kinds of quonsorial bonhomie.
posted by julen at 9:02 PM on December 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

You guys, I am still so sick but when I refresh this thread and read about all the anticipation and all the neat things people have picked out and made, I get so crazy happy. I need to bookmark this thread for the summer slump.

* knocks back more cough syrup (yuuuurgh) and restarts that Fireplace For Your Home video on Netflix for the thousandth time. Nibbles on marshmallow treats from mystery SQ.
posted by mochapickle at 9:27 PM on December 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

And also... When you turn on the closed captioning for that Fireplace for Your Home video, it's amaaaaazing. It flashes this over and over:

[CRACKLING]
posted by mochapickle at 9:31 PM on December 7, 2014 [24 favorites]

Yaaay, silverstatue! I am so happy you got the gifts! Also so happy to get the opportunity to quonse each other (that sounds stranger than intended...) as this is only my second year participating in SQ, so that was an extra cool little gift in and of itself.
posted by pandalicious at 10:31 PM on December 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

For those who are tracking..

1. I received my gift, an assortment of spices and seasonings, from my Secret Quonsar on Thursday and notified the sender via MeFi Message.
2. The package to my Quonsee was posted on 1 December. Tonight I checked the tracking info to see whether it has been delivered and was slightly dismayed (but not shocked) to find that the info has not been updated since the package left the small town in which I live. I have also MeFi Messaged the intended recipient so that they know a gift was sent and should be on its way (and, though it doesn't appear to be especially useful, also provided the tracking info.) Since I live on an island in Alaska and the recipient is on the opposite coast of North America, it's a bit early to be concerned, and totally believable that the delay is normal and expected travel time for a parcel via USPS.

posted by Nerd of the North at 12:34 AM on December 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

I'd like to thank snakeling for the delightful quonsing I've just experienced. Things have been less than great recently, and the doorbell just rang (at 8:30 pm, the Japanese post office doesn't play) and bam, QUONSED! Not only that, but there was a thoughtful card, and based on my love of cooking, spice mixes (and recipes!) for mulled wine and gingerbread cookies! It's time to get over my fear of baking (serious, it mystifies me) and make some cookies. Thanks again, snakeling!
posted by Ghidorah at 3:40 AM on December 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

Three things about Secret Quonsar make me happy:

1. The enviably conjugationable word Quonsar.
2. Receiving a message from your quonsee, telling you how awesome your gift was and how happy it has made them.
3. How impressively organised, dedicated and level-headed the Quonczars are. Many thanks to julen, arcticseal and phunniemee.

posted by Magnakai at 4:49 AM on December 8, 2014 [10 favorites]

Hooray Freyja! So glad the robuts have landed. :D
posted by Glinn at 5:03 AM on December 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh frabulous joy!

My Quansar gift arrived from Belgium mere moments ago!

It contained two yummilicious peanut brittle bars, three double ended Optic marker pens in my favourite colours, and a small bamboo logic/maze puzzle thingy which is most excellently timed as I finished the Monument Valley game last night and was feeling despondent at it's lack of 3d puzzleness.

THANK YOU WHOMSOEVER YOU ARE MY LOVELY QUONSAR GIFT GIVER.

Oh and there was the cutest quonsar card too!

YAY \0/

::does dance of happy peanut brittle eating person::
posted by Faintdreams at 5:43 AM on December 8, 2014

Yay, rhiannonstone! I'm so glad you liked what I got for you! I was afraid that my writing experiment wouldn't work and I spent all day figuring out what it was going to be as well beginning, then discarding two separate ideas (which were backstories to the story in the anthology, btw) before deciding to begin something new in a universe I only thought up on the spot. I'm hoping I'll be able to tell a great story for you over the next year.
posted by TrishaLynn at 6:03 AM on December 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

I want to thank the most excellent RedOrGreen for the toy helicopter and metalcraft desk toy, and for the maple candy from their home state of NY. Love getting local stuff from my appointed Quonser. Merry Quonsmas everyone!
posted by schleppo at 6:36 AM on December 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

I got home tonight after a late dinner with a friend (during which I kept talking about secret quonsar because BEST. TIME. OF. YEAR.) to find a large mailing envelope squished into my mailbox! I rushed up the stairs and messaged my friend I'VE BEEN QUONSED!! and immediately opened my gift.

Inside was the best most adorable handmade bag with an axolotl on it! And the inside pocket is lined with sharks!

artychoke, thank you so much for the wonderful gift! I love it and so does wani-chan, who was so excited he swam out of his little tunnel right into the side of his tank.
posted by emmling at 7:47 AM on December 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

julen, I did not get the email to which you're referring. I have checked all possible folders. But please mark me down as having sent my gift.
posted by aabbbiee at 8:08 AM on December 8, 2014

Glad you received the book Cheese Monster. I thought it was an acceptable mash up of some of your interests - photography, travel and psychology. I have to admit the prohibitions on imports to Australia stymied me for awhile!
posted by Julnyes at 8:22 AM on December 8, 2014

got home from a long work (and pleasure) trip to a present! Thanks aabbbiee for the awesome local chocolate, fruit infusing water bottle, cooking implements and A RING POP. I HAVE A RING POP MOTHERF$&KERS
posted by atomicstone at 9:00 AM on December 8, 2014 [6 favorites]

My gift went out late, but it did go out!
posted by cjorgensen at 9:40 AM on December 8, 2014

Ditto aabbbiee. Mine went out a few days before the deadline.
posted by carbide at 10:09 AM on December 8, 2014

I got quonsed super early, so this thank you is belated. Received a nicely made wooden puzzle, which started out making me feel inadequate (what is it even supposed to look like when assembled??!?). But my 2 year old quickly informed me that the pieces should be assembled into a fire station and fire trucks. So we had fun! Some day, I will figure this thing out, but I'll have to do it while the little guy is sleeping cause he loves this gift!
posted by cubby at 10:33 AM on December 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

Hi there! I feel the need to provide a Quonsing update. I have received a very intriguing cardboard box from an address I believe to be my secret Quonsar. I haven't opened it yet, though, because I've been waiting until I can send my own Quonsmas gift out. It feels wrong to be Quonsed before I myself have Quonsed another, but my gift is taking F O R E V E R to arrive to me from a vendor so I can put the package together. So nothing has gone awry here though I have not yet sent nor opened. Looking forward to both!
posted by Miko at 10:39 AM on December 8, 2014

I was quonsed and cookied on the same day! I'm stuffing myself full of MetaFilter goodness while sporting a beautiful cuff with a map of my love, mpls, printed on it. The kids will get their rainbow fish when they wake up from their naps, unless the cats get to them first. Thank you, whoever you are!!!
posted by deadcrow at 11:21 AM on December 8, 2014

Through the magic of Quonsmas, I have been quonsed on the same day my quonsee received their presents! Thank you to the awesome Megami for making my day with several Quonsmases-worth of presents: pens from Japan and a trio of Field Notes, several monster chocolate bars and some marzipan potatoes, packets of lovely-smelling things that might be used as wool wash, some divine-smelling tea, and some really gorgeous wool that I already know what I'm going to do with :D. Thank you thank you thank you!!
posted by you must supply a verb at 11:40 AM on December 8, 2014

Thank you Secret Quonsar!! The toddler loves the car and I haven't even turned it on yet! He was stoked about the kitty toys and was asking to open the package when I pulled out the car. He immediately ran and dropped the mice on the sleeping cat and has been sitting at his little table vroooooming for the past 20 minutes. I'm stashing the cool stickers away for the next stormy day.
The tiny gingerbread house is perfect and going up on the tiny thing shelf asap! Thank you Thank you!
Happy Happy!
posted by Swisstine at 12:04 PM on December 8, 2014

I got quonsed actually, like, two weeks ago, I just keep forgetting to post in the thread. I gave the guidance "send me something you'd enjoy!" and guys, initapplette has great taste.
posted by troika at 12:10 PM on December 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

Just now, I was idly looking at the stuff currently on my desk and re-picked up the lovely notebook I received from my SQ to admire it. And then I discovered something.

When I had unwrapped the notebook, I was apparently so engrossed in the sweets that came with it that I completely failed to notice that THE NOTEBOOK HAS MY NAME ON IT. It's personalized!!! With my weirdly-spelled name!!! AAAH!

I feel terrible that I didn't notice it earlier because it makes the gift THAT MUCH MORE SPECIAL and I feel as though I have been Quonsed all over again today. Three cheers for hansbrough! I am certainly feeling the Quonsmas love.
posted by meggan at 1:20 PM on December 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

So, I seem to have to posted not-clearly last night, and caused a bit of consternation.

There's a not-insubstantial number of folks whom we have mailed and from whom we are awaiting answers. (Not everyone!) Many many many of you don't have emails waiting from us (yet), and yet were understandably confused when you couldn't find an email from us.

I am so sorry, but appreciate so many of you reaching out proactively to tell us status. You guys rock.
posted by julen at 1:22 PM on December 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

Love my assortment of goods from Colonial Williamsburg! I've been drinking the tea and using the lip balm every day, haven't had occasion yet to use the lavender soap but it's making my room smell much nicer.
My Quonsee didn't give me a lot to go on but hopefully they'll appreciate the collection on Canada-themed goods.
posted by sgrass at 1:26 PM on December 8, 2014

I was delightfully Quonsed today!
Somebody did their research and figured out I grew up in Denver, so I got bunch of cool Denver-themed stuff, including a sucker that is legal both in Washington and Colorado (I'll be waiting for a long-ish weekend), a very nice tea towel (dish towel to you young 'uns), and a candy cane! woot! It feels just like Quonsmas...
...Now, if only my Quonsee would chime in, I mailed it two weeks ago!
posted by dbmcd at 2:04 PM on December 8, 2014

I have been quonsed with red raspberry vinegar, pumpkin butter, and pineapple preserves from a bay area farm! Thanks, anonymous SQ, for the delicious haul, which we will certainly enjoy!!
posted by JMOZ at 2:12 PM on December 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thank you, troika, for making my Quonsmas awesome! Delicious-looking coffee and treats, an adorable Washington Monument Christmas ornament, and - most amazing of all - an authentic Mrs. Pterodactyl octopus! Squee!

I still haven't sent out my quonsee's gifts due to a bunch of unwelcome coincidences, but they - and the envelope they are to be mailed in - are now here in my house and will be mailed this week (with luck, tomorrow.)
posted by Daily Alice at 3:23 PM on December 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

OK- sorry to make you wait dear Quonsee, but your box is in the mail and will arrive on Thursday, Thursday, THURSDAY! Or, so said the kind lady at the post office. Stand by your mailslot/box in excited anticipation, if you so desire!
posted by but no cigar at 3:44 PM on December 8, 2014

USPS tracking says that the package I sent a week ago should be delivered today. I hope you like it, Secret Quonsee!
posted by Songdog at 3:44 PM on December 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

I got my wonderful packages from specialagentwebb today! Thank you so much for the amazing smelling coffee, candy, and the coffee producing device. I'm also already generating plans to launch my two cats to internet celebrity using the guidance you sent. Thanks!

(I mean honestly, look at these faces: Cat One and Cat Two)
posted by divka at 4:04 PM on December 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

On behalf of my anonymous quonsar, "The Peacock of Quonsmas" delivered an awesome Origami Airplane kit to be shared with my young'uns... and a "to be continued..." postcard?!?!? WOO!
posted by rouftop at 4:19 PM on December 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

Having quonsed my own quonsee way back at the beginning of this delightful mayhem, I was on tenterhooks to be quonsed myself. I'm so excited that it happened today! The lovely jeoc sent me prettily wrapped things that are 100% relevant to my interests. My ten-year-old is fascinated that the little phone stand guy came from a 3D printer, and Maldon salt and weirdly flavored dark chocolate are two of my great joys. Thank you jeoc!
posted by kostia at 4:57 PM on December 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

Amazing package of wonderfulness has arrived from Dayton!! (seriously..... meme-decorated box filled with coffee hiding a treasure chest holding a handmade wooden pen, with bonus funny things that are already decorating my office!) Thank you, secret quonsar!
posted by korej at 4:58 PM on December 8, 2014

I just realized that I should probably report in that I have quonsed, and my quonsee should be receiving the gift any day now. Hooray!
posted by ilana at 5:14 PM on December 8, 2014

Oh wow!

Mr Manager, my package arrived and I am so happy with everything! The CD is so wonderful! I already knew and love seven of the artists although I didn't own any of their music. (We all belted out "Hey, hey! Marry me, Archie!" while we set the table tonight.) And now I love the other five artists, too. So great.

The book was one that I knew of at some point, and I thought at at the time "Wow, I must read that!" ("The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down.") But of course it never happened then. So I get to read it now. Thank you!

And even earrings from Ten Thousand Villages. I'll admit that at first I wasn't sure they were me (the way the other two gifts were exactly me!) but when I put them on I thought "Hey, you know, those work!" And my husband thought they looked great, too, so thank you! You nailed it! Thank you! Thank you so much!
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 5:17 PM on December 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

I was just quonsed by a very clever anonymous Quonsar, who put together this question and this question and got me a fabulous vintage poster print of the California Zephyr. It fits in perfectly with the other things on my walls, and will be a fantastic memento-in-advance of my upcoming trip. Thankyou Quonsar, whoever you are!
posted by une_heure_pleine at 5:42 PM on December 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

Ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmigosh!!! I just got a box full of awesomeness from IndigoRain and I.... I.... I am speechless. It is so on point/so me, I am just... wow. There is so. Much. Fun. In this box.

Ok, let me compose myself! Whew.

I got the most awesome desk accessories and accoutrements. I freaking love post-it notes, and now have a wide array of sarcastic ones, and one set with little cut-out yogis in up-dog, plow, and cobra yoga poses, which is so so so cute. I've never seen anything like that! I got a set of mind-bender puzzles, and toy DNA to fiddle with (I work am of a biomedical-y background/work at a big biomedical-y place, so this is perfect!), and this Japanese wooden desk tetris puzzle which I love. And! a cute little koala eraser whose package i even love because i'm always sending around that research study showing that kawaii aids in working memory so I'm like the office's kawaii-concept- introducer. And! Anthropomorphizing stickers which are also amazing because I actually had some from a PAST SQ (hi Ambrosia Voyeur!) and I am running out so I keep on peeling them off existing items and rearranging them, because I am a nut and I love them. Now I can eyeball-sticker everything. But, holy piece de resistance, I also now own an artful desk caddy of a man on a toilet. He holds the tape roll like he's unrolling toilet paper. You lift him from the toilet and he has paperclips magnetized to his ass. My camera phone isn't working; you'll have to take my word for it.

This description is as insane as this package is great.

Thank you thank you thank you! Happy Quonsmas!
posted by NikitaNikita at 7:28 PM on December 8, 2014 [4 favorites]

Quick mini-Quonsar update: it's been a busy day with responses and updates from lots of people, including the confused "I can't find an email, but here's an update anyway" emails that gave us some useful info, like who's reading their email!

So far, of the 399 SQ/Quonsee matches:

192 (48.12%) have received their gifts.
2 (0.50%) have maybe received their gifts
202 (50.63%) no information - so if you haven't received your gift yet, not to worry, you're in the silent, expectant majority.

I'd encourage anyone who hasn't sent their gift out yet to dash to the post office and then let us know that their SQ gift has been mailed and any tracking info so we can reassure nervous Quonsees. Everyone has been super helpful and lovely to deal with, Quonsmas really does bring out the best in people.
posted by arcticseal at 8:41 PM on December 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm glad you like it, emmling! I had fun making my first axolotl purse! My kids had not realized that one could have a pet axolotl and now they want one!
posted by artychoke at 8:42 PM on December 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

J'ai été quonsée ! Joyeux Quoël !

Received a neat omake (backup gift) a few days ago, with the most adorable little handmade chirimen cat, and loose-leaf tea samples that have since been sampled and enjoyed.

Main gift arrived yesterday evening: some fun washi tape and a big package of beautiful chiyogami (paper for origami), of which two pieces became festive cranes for the office this morning. I've been on an origami binge lately, it's perfect.

Merci Quonsar Secret qui est secret ! :)
posted by fraula at 2:08 AM on December 9, 2014 [3 favorites]

NikitaNikita, I'm so glad you liked it!! The toy DNA is a Tangle fidget toy - I got one for myself last year and got you the same, textured one. I love to play with it!

And if anyone is wondering about the guy on the toilet, it's The Butt Station!
posted by IndigoRain at 2:57 AM on December 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

I've been quonsed in the most tasty fashion! I've received postcards, a lovely Pennsylvania Dutch sign and raspberry jam (how did you know that was my favourite?).

Unfortunately, the apple jam sacrificed itself to save the raspberry by throwing itself in front of UPS, so I gave it a Viking funeral , but not licking it's sweet goodness off my fingers.

Thank you SQ! They didn't out themselves in the package, but I'm going to abuse elf privileges and send a MeMail.
posted by arcticseal at 7:56 AM on December 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

I received a box of adorable office supplies! I'm at work and forgot to bring the slip with my SQ's username on it but thank you so much! I unwrapped every bit of it and squealed over the adorable post it tabs, the tiny animals, the horse paperclips and the awesome pens! Seriously, I tried out each of the pens and they all write like a dream. SO HAPPY
posted by brilliantine at 9:03 AM on December 9, 2014

I was quonsed yesterday! Thank you, redsparkler! I got a cool looking foodie magazine/"journal of food and writing" which I've started looking through and it's super fun. She also sent an adorable little Short Stack Editions paperback cookbook filled with corn recipes (and now I want all of the other volumes to go with it (plums! sweet potatoes! eggs! honey!) I need all of them) AND a Cuppow! AND little mason jar shot glasses! AND yummy chocolates (which did not make it 'til today, they were so good!)! Happy Quonsor, everybody!

(Oh, AND a cut-out paper Christmas pickle ornament (which is actually a tradition my family followed, but I did not have my own pickle, so Yay! Now I do!) )
posted by Weeping_angel at 9:07 AM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yay meggan! :) It was on the subtle side. That's cool that it felt like an extra quonsmas!!! I'm so delighted that you enjoyed everything!
posted by hansbrough at 9:46 AM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

I've been quonsed in the most tasty fashion!

Oh my! I must remember next year to ask for dill pickle potato chips if my SQ happens to be from Pennsylvania!
posted by Room 641-A at 9:48 AM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

If you haven't seen it, there's a sad, sweet SQ update in MeTa.

.
posted by janell at 10:33 AM on December 9, 2014 [7 favorites]

I received a very lovely gift from "S. Quonsar' on this dreary, rainy day. Yummy yummy cranberry-ginger jam! Homemade cocoa mix! Mini journals (squee!)! A handmade bookmark! Beautiful yarn! All individually wrapped with a nice card. Thank you S. Quonsar. ;) You made my day today.

I'm still going to watch everyone else unwrap their presents...
posted by patheral at 12:15 PM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

Eeeee! Thank you to my anonymous Quonsar for the Ballmer goodies! My Ni-Vanuatu colleagues are puzzled by my excitement. I got Ravens, Orioles and Steelers swag, plus Cow Tales candy and a Stroopwafel! And a Webkins puppy--I've heard of these but haven't experienced it myself so I'm looking forward to trying it. Finally, there's a USB drive that claims to be full of crabs...a little nervous to find out what THAT means!

Happy Quonsmas everyone!!
posted by orrnyereg at 1:16 PM on December 9, 2014 [3 favorites]

I've been quonsed! And it arrived just in time to turn my crappy day around and bring me good cheer! Thank you, daisyace, for the beautiful hummingbird feeders and the pretty hairpin and the nuts that I do not know what they are but they are very yummy (and hidden, so I do not have to share!). The bird wrapping paper was so pretty I carefully unwrapped it to save it, like my crazy uncle does. :D I am going to spend all winter planning which windows to strategically site the feeders at come spring and hummingbirds!

Also the butterfly thingie in the card legit made me jump backwards across the kitchen when I opened it, so of course I wound it right back up to similarly startle my children.

This was my first Quonsmas and A+++ will quonse again! SO FUN YOU GUYS!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 1:47 PM on December 9, 2014 [7 favorites]

While I wait to be Quonsed, my brain keeps subbing Quonsmas into all the Christmas music. A few days ago I took my car in for a service and was stuck in the waiting area with piped-in contemporary holiday songs for almost two hours. Only the magic of Quonsmas kept me sane enough to drive home again.

♫♪ Last Quonsmas, I gave you my heart. And the very.next.day you gave it away... ♪♫
posted by deludingmyself at 2:27 PM on December 9, 2014 [6 favorites]

Hurry home Quonsee! The tracker says your gift is waiting for you!
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 4:07 PM on December 9, 2014

Thank you nat, my quonsar from across the seas! Today I received gifts that were so thoughtfully chosen that I grinned so wide it hurt. Lovely scented soap from Elsinore (Queen's Closet act 3 scene 4), Shakespeare Mints, British Peppersmuth mints, and then a bag of Dark Milk chocolates! Mint! Chocolate! Scented soap! All things I adore and Pointycat is lying in the faraway scented tissue paper so he's happy too! THANK YOU!

I admit, I quonsed late but I have a tracking # for my quonsee and it is on the way!
posted by pointystick at 4:17 PM on December 9, 2014

♫♪ Last Quonsmas, I gave you my heart. And the very.next.day you gave it away... ♪♫

Sounds like a problem for AskMe!
posted by orrnyereg at 6:31 PM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have been anonymously Quonsed! I received a delightful framed Teo Zirinis print called "Let's All Go and Have Breakfast", which I hope references one of my favourite jingles of all time, "Let's go out to the lobby.....and get ourselves some snacks". It will look fantastic in our kitchen and I love it. Thank you, seekrit quonsar! I too am quonsing late (due to a variety of relatively minor family catastrophes), but I'm excited to mail out my gift tomorrow. It's the most quonsarful time of the year!
posted by Go Banana at 6:47 PM on December 9, 2014

i_am_a_fiesta, I am drinking the hojicha right now and it is excellent. I will definitely put the chapstick and hand warmers to good use during this cold time of the year, not to mention the Pez and silly putty for stress relief purposes (exams! oh joy! ahahaha). The sponge chocolate candy is super tasty, and the guitar tea dispenser is very cute and cool. Thank you! :D

Also, the blue wrapping paper is really pretty. *____*
posted by ilicet at 6:48 PM on December 9, 2014

Yay, pointystick, I'm glad you liked it.. and that the package actually got to you. I have no idea how I managed to take an hour to send a simple package, or why the postal system seemed so confusing-- but it worked! great! And props to pointycat for figuring out what to do with the packaging.

I have quonsed, I have been quonsed, but I will still stay to watch everyone else's quonsing unfold.

I do have a question, though... Quonsmas, Qöel... Qule? What is the Quons-esque equivalent of Yule?
posted by nat at 2:48 AM on December 10, 2014

I do have a question, though... Quonsmas, Qöel... Qule? What is the Quons-esque equivalent of Yule?

Quole?
posted by KingEdRa at 5:07 AM on December 10, 2014

Okay, I finally sent off my belated gift. Now it's all up to the good people at the Canadian and US postal services, and those crazy gremlins at Customs.
posted by Kabanos at 6:14 AM on December 10, 2014

What is the Quons-esque equivalent of Yule?

I like "Qule" - pronounced "Kyool".
posted by Rock Steady at 7:08 AM on December 10, 2014 [4 favorites]

Also, I think Quanukkah, Quantzaa, Queid, and Questivus are among the acceptable holidays to celebrate this time of year.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:14 AM on December 10, 2014 [6 favorites]

griphus has asked me to pass on a quick note from beyond the veil of Metafilter vacation:

I came home the other day to a large, heavy box that was to my total surprise full of amazing preserved treats from mollymayhem. I've already broken into the pickles and they are amazing. Thank you, mollymayhem!

posted by cortex (staff) at 9:20 AM on December 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

A belated thank you to msali for a delicious collection of treats including chai spice peanut butter and pimento cheese straws that didn't last 24 hours from when we opened them.
posted by samhyland at 10:06 AM on December 10, 2014

Ugh, I'm going to have to call USPS. I fear for the package I mailed out before Thanksgiving. No updates since 26 November. D:
posted by peripathetic at 10:13 AM on December 10, 2014

Mrs. Svenny just texted me to let me know there is a package (wrapped in plastic) from Quonsar Heavy Industries waiting at the house! Now I'm trying to figure out how to secretly leave the office and go open it. Stay tuned!
posted by Svenny at 11:34 AM on December 10, 2014

I'm working from home today and went to grab the mail, and what did I find but a package all the way from AUSTRALIA! I tore into it immediately, of course: wonderfully soft and warm gloves that match my other winter accessories perfectly, a package of crocodile jerky that I admit I am the tiniest bit afraid of, and beautifully packaged chocolate with gold, frankincense, and myrrh in it! Thank you, anonymous quonsar!
posted by quaking fajita at 11:51 AM on December 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

My Quonsee's package has been received and sorted by their local post office. I'm guessing it will reach its destination by tomorrow!
posted by SisterHavana at 12:04 PM on December 10, 2014

Okay, two things you need to know about me:

1. I freaking love coffee mugs.
2. I just got rid of my old school cathode tube TV in my bedroom and am shopping around for a fancy new flat screen version.

So .. guess what I got in the mail today! My Secret Quonsar (who is still secret) sent me an awesome mug from Detroit, that will now replace my current Eeyore mug at work. Eeyore finds this depressing (but what doesn't depress that sad sack). My cool new coffee mug says that:
I HAVE PEOPLE IN DETROIT THE MOTOR CITY


I also received a super cool Google Chromecast HDMI Streaming Media Player! What! Yes I did!!
This will be immediately plugged into the new TV I get so I can watch stuff from my bed! I mean I can currently watch stuff while sitting at my computer desk, but sometimes a person just wants to watch stuff from bed on a TV screen, you know?

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
posted by Julnyes at 2:18 PM on December 10, 2014 [7 favorites]

orrnyereg, I do solemnly swear the USB stick is safe for your computer and the crabs are tame... kind of? There is also a letter on there for you, separately, but I would not advise delving into the Baltimore-themed, crab-infested Christmas part with your speakers at full volume. (You have no idea how worried I was that some shipping person having a bad day would randomly drop your package in the South Pacific just for shiggles - whew. Happy Quonsmas!)
posted by Wyeldfire at 3:55 PM on December 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yay, thank you Wyeldfire! Hopefully they're nothing like our coconut crabs.

You'd be surprised at the different places mail addressed to me has been sent. The Virgin Islands seems to be the most popular. Happy Quonsmas!!
posted by orrnyereg at 4:41 PM on December 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

*reaches other side of the world and continues thumb twiddling*
posted by infini at 5:19 PM on December 10, 2014

I have been Quonsed! (For reals this time.) Sphinx sent a cornucopia of awesome from the North featuring cheese curds (which are truly one of my favorite foods and I can't get them nearly enough), lefse, two(!) compilation cd's of live music, two(!) shirts (one of which was instantly co-opted by Mrs. Svenny), and an excellent beer from a local brewery.

Thank you, Sphinx - you've made this a stellar Qunonsmas!
posted by Svenny at 5:32 PM on December 10, 2014

J'ai été quonsée aussi! Merci bien, fraula, for the lovely souvenirs français. (Zeke, my cat, was especially enamored of the mini Tour Eiffel - he was convinced it was something sent just for him!)

The real gift, however, (and most likely unbeknownst to you) was simply getting un cadeau from France, and, specifically from the Paris environs. I lived in Paris off and on for ~4 years (2003-2007) in the 16th, not far from Courbevoie! So when I got your package last night, it brought back several lovely memories of Christmas in Paris, life in Paris, and, well, so, so many things about that magical time. Thank you!
posted by hapax_legomenon at 7:40 PM on December 10, 2014 [2 favorites]

(How did I know it was you? Well that statistic where julen said "most people don't get the person they are getting from" (I'm paraphrasing here (and using too many parentheses)), well, we aren't most people :D . Your package should be there tomorrow-ishness.)

Thank you so much Deezil! I have finally opened your package - what a wonderful quonsmas present! I saved your package for a reward after a brutal end of the term and it proved to be perfect for that celebration/relief: indulge in some chocolate, relax with some tea, and enjoy some regional flavor from Kentucky. I love everything, thank you so much and apologies for the delay in opening and posting here!
posted by dialetheia at 8:04 PM on December 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

Our wreath is up, bedecked with Quonsmas birds and butterfly. It makes me smile to look at it.
posted by Lexica at 9:16 PM on December 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

*thumb twiddling over*

Scene at the parents house, I gave this address since I'm here until Jan.

Mom: "You got a parcel today"
Dad: "Look at that postage paid!!"
Mom: "What is it? Who is it from? Why are you getting a parcel here?"

Me, jetlagged, blearily awake, wants to pee badly "Why don't you guys open it for me while I grab a cup of coffee and brb?"

Noises

"Pull tab to open, does that mean I yank this"
"No, I think you pull that"
"Wait, you hold this end while I pull that thing there"
"Ohhh its a poster from Paris"
"Its heavy"
"Look there's a note in there"
"Hey firstborn come read the note addressed to Infini"

Um, thank you motdiem2 for the entertainment you provided and the lovely poster from Paris. I know exactly where to put it up in my new apt in Helsinki.
posted by infini at 3:59 AM on December 11, 2014 [7 favorites]

My Secret Quonsar gift made its way over to the UK from the USA and my partner and I excitedly opened it in the evening. The customs declaration said 'candy' and 'hat', which I felt was extremely promising. First, two delightful maple syrup candies (which I initially thought were some kind of cosmetic product, before being gently corrected). We pulled out, one by one, a series of M&Ms packets in flavours we'd never dreamed of here on our little provincial island ("Peanut butter! Awesome!" "Pretzel?" "Birthday cake?!"). And then, two lovely gourmet bars of chocolate, wrapped in lovely paper. (So far we've tried the dark chocolate one with salted bread pieces in it: Oh My Quonsar it is tasty.) My Quonsarer obviously figured out that I am into my chocolate, and boy did they ever figure that one out right.

And the hat? A lovely red wooly number that I think was hand-knitted! What a treat! And it fits great! Perfect for the cold days that are setting in now.

Here is me enjoying my haul. Thank you, Secret Quonsar, for such sweet, lovely gifts. You put huge delighted smiles on our faces.
posted by chrismear at 4:38 AM on December 11, 2014 [7 favorites]

Hee hee hee "partner" - that's totally me :D
posted by greenish at 5:33 AM on December 11, 2014 [4 favorites]

Yay! Chrismear, that was me, and I'm still feeling a bit bad that the card (modified from MERRY CHRISTMAS to WHY DOES NO ONE SELL QUONSMAS CARDS THIS IS A TRAVESTY) somehow ended up in the doorwell of my car and not in your parcel. I'm glad you intuited that it was your Quonsmas gift, though, and delighted that you like it.

Also, I almost bought you a bacon chocolate bar, and then didn't, as I wasn't sure about dietary restrictions--in the event that you would like a bacon chocolate bar, please inform me, and I'll send one your way post-holidays. (You probably want one. They're amazing.)
posted by MeghanC at 8:35 AM on December 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

Wow! Not only did I get a cool book that I'm already partway through, but my second batch of Quonsmas gifts from the lovely orrnyereg came today! I got some awesome handicrafts (pic) from Vanuatu - a coconut shell turtle and a cool bag made from pandanus fronds - and a Smithsonian Associates gift certificate.

Thank you, thank you! I'm so happy!

I had to smile that it came from Vanuatu - somewhere I'm quite familiar with since I work on Taiwan/China issues. :) (reference)
posted by gemmy at 10:29 AM on December 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

WOW!

As soon as I pierced the tape on the mysterious package I was greeted with the most intoxicatingly spicy scent, and tore in to find a box full of wonderful New England treats: local Massachusetts honey, apple butter, maple syrup, hot fudge (OMG OMG OMG), maple candy (OMG), cinnamon-clove soap (I cannot stop huffing it -- it smells AMAZING)... along with a cute handdrawn card of a FISH IN PANTS and six festive Merry Quonsmas buttons in MeFi blue & grey!

Everything is so perfect & happy-making! I smile when I see the card on the mantle flaunting its uniqueness; I smile at work when I see the Merry Quonsmas button pinned to my tackboard (others will shared with appreciative audience!); I swoon when I smell the soap; and I salivate when I see the jars. I've resolved that the treats will make their debut for our all-day-long ChristmasQuonsmas breakfast, and it's literally taking all my willpower... an exception has already been made for the maple candies :]

I love it all! Thank you so much, Songdog!!!
posted by Westringia F. at 12:08 PM on December 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

Quonsee! Your gift arrived two days ago. Are you home? Did you get it? (No worries if you're out of town, it won't go stale or anything.)
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 12:13 PM on December 11, 2014

According to the Oracle of Fedex my Quonsee should stumble across a package that dropped from the sky today and landed at their front door!

Will they like what's in it? Will I have any nails left on my fingers by the time I find out?
posted by Hairy Lobster at 12:19 PM on December 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have been quonsed, verily! Banknote of the Year sent me the cutest kitty birthday card (my 30th is in a week; it is absolutely appropriate, I think, to combine birthday and Quonsmas in this case) and a really awesome-looking book called "We See a Different Frontier: A Postcolonial Speculative Fiction Anthology," focusing on cultural imperialism and the stories of the colonized. I'm so excited to read it after I finish marking my million final essay exams. Maybe I'll have a new story to teach next semester alongside Shankar Lamichhane's "The Half-Closed Eyes of the Buddha and the Slowly Setting Sun."

Thank you so much, Banknote of the Year! This made my extremely-snowy day.
posted by ilana at 12:51 PM on December 11, 2014 [3 favorites]

OK- I'm trying to remain calm, but it's so difficult, as today's the day my quonsee should get their box! I keep checking back to see if in fact the quonsee-ing has occurred and must remind myself to chill out already.

The enthrallment builds!
posted by but no cigar at 12:54 PM on December 11, 2014

I hope my Quonsee is traveling or something rather than disappointed with my present. Stupidly, I did first class mail rather than something trackable, so I'm also afraid it could have been lost in the mail.
posted by JMOZ at 1:12 PM on December 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

gemmy, I'm so glad everything arrived safely! One never knows. I hope you enjoy your goodies!
posted by orrnyereg at 1:16 PM on December 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

Add me to the list waiting on tinterhooks, as my Quonsee's package was supposedly delivered last Friday. Quonczars, will you guys check up on folks whose packages should have arrived if we ask, or is that something we should do ourselves? I'm not sure what the Quonsetiquette is here and I don't want to pester!
posted by DingoMutt at 1:19 PM on December 11, 2014

DingoMutt: "Add me to the list waiting on tinterhooks, as my Quonsee's package was supposedly delivered last Friday. Quonczars, will you guys check up on folks whose packages should have arrived if we ask, or is that something we should do ourselves? I'm not sure what the Quonsetiquette is here and I don't want to pester!"

We absolutely will check up for folks who want to be sure their packages made it there. It is not a pesterment (not an actual word), and we'd be delighted to help make your quonsmas less fraught! You should email us if you want us to check up on a quonsee and their package.

And Quonsees! We are happy to pass on your thanks if you can't or don't want to post in this thread. It's what we're here for. And if you'd just like to tell us you got your gift but already thanked your quonsee privately, that'd be awesome, too! We like knowing gifts got there, and our goal is to know the fate of every single gift.
posted by julen at 1:29 PM on December 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

It's a cold day in Northern Canuckistan today, with up to 30cm of snow predicted and police estimating a collision every three minutes across the city. But I am warm inside having just been quonsed this morning. From sunny California* came a gorgeous pair of large Japanese bowls (one of which I've already sacrilegiously filled with Thai lemongrass soup for lunch today to help ward off the cold) all wrapped in a great printed tea towel (aka Thai soup napkin). The perfect gift to hold the comfort food that will get me through the winter. Thank you for sending some Quonsmas warmth up north small_ruminant!

*For Canadians all of California is permanently hot and sunny like on TV.
posted by Kabanos at 2:09 PM on December 11, 2014 [4 favorites]

I'm so late on this, because things, but either an old friend sent me the perfect present without any note, or my secret quonsar is very generous and I leave a great deal of myself here. I am touched. Thank you so much. I hope my quonsee receives their parcel well.
posted by holgate at 3:09 PM on December 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

You guys. You guys. You guys. So my SQ had mentioned there was a second part coming to follow the awesome rice krispie treats, which btw essentially kept me alive during the flu.

And... you guys. It's BUNNIES. Little, individually sculpted rabbitses that Mister Moofoo created out of clay! They have different faces and noses and bellies and these big ol' feetses and one has a santa hat(!) and I am telling you I very nearly had a meltdown at the post office. They are the most perfect and adorable things and I love them.

You are so talented, Mister Moofoo, and so thoughtful to boot. Thank you! And Happy Quonsmas to you!
posted by mochapickle at 3:26 PM on December 11, 2014 [18 favorites]

I have been, to be direct about it--we're all adults here, eh?--Quonsared by Sharon.* I have thus far enjoyed myself immensely! Indeed, I am just working up the fortitude to have another go--not easy at my age, but oh so worth it. And not to paint too swinging a picture of the maxwelton domestic scene, my partner joined in and shared my pleasure...or so it seemed as a momentarily sated--but interested**--observer.

* Sharon, Pennsylvania, that is, in the form of a delicious assortment of chocolate from Daffin's Fine Candies, located thereof. There is was a chocolate car, and a snowman, and a happy-face chocolate pop, and a semi-sweet bar, and a milk bar, and a box of something called "melt-a-ways" which turn out to be very nice truffle-like chocolates. Thank you, anonymous Quonsar! You have demonstrated an uncanny ability to know exactly what would be a Quonsmas hit here.

** "ONE. You may have ONE! Wait, are you absconding with the happy-face pop, too?! GET BACK HERE!"
posted by maxwelton at 5:55 PM on December 11, 2014 [3 favorites]

So, once Secret Quonsar signups begin, I find myself visiting the signup thread multiple times per day, just to share in the Quonsar spirit. It's delightful to read about the anticipation of the draw, then the excitement of the draw itself, and then the musings on what everyone's thinking of getting for their Secret Quonsar. So, this year, while reading through the signup thread, I came across this comment...

My quonsee is awesome and we have a lot of interests in common! I just hope they don't already have any of the stuff I'm sending them. I would send them anonymous questions, but I don't want to give away the nature of the gifts. :(

... and I remember thinking to myself - That's so cool. I hope it's me!

Holy Quonsar Miracle of Miracles, it WAS me!

Check out my perfectly dead-on and awesome gifts.

Thank you SO MUCH, Pizzarina Sbarro!
posted by MsVader at 6:34 PM on December 11, 2014 [4 favorites]

julnyes: That was me. The shippers wouldn't let me put a name on it that was different from the credit card, and the stuff was already packed when they told me that so I couldn't put in a note.

Two things:
1 -- The mug is a promise as well as a mug. You ever need a favor in Detroit, MeMail me. I know good places for burgers, pizza, and burying... things.

2 -- The Chromecast, I admit, is a regift of sorts. I got it a while back on the mistaken notion that it worked with Amazon Instant Video. So then I got a Roku stick instead and just had the 'Cast sitting under my TV for months. On my way out the door to go to my local Detroit Stuff Shop, I figured, Well, the damn thing is already late (mailed on the 3rd, I think, due to travels), so if I can't find anything good, I can at least send that. And then after I found the mug, I figured, Well, sod it, I might as well send the 'Cast anyhow.

Glad they both worked out well.
posted by Etrigan at 6:55 PM on December 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

I so hope my anonymous SQ is following this thread and sees how delighted I am by his/her gifts! I've been away from home for over two weeks but I knew a mysterious package from Walnut Creek, CA arrived just after I left. After enjoying the delicious anticipation, today I opened the package to discover a plethora of funny, thoughtful and playful gifts, individually wrapped for maximum joy. I started with the smallest, some cute stickers, and moved up to see a tiny magnetized clip board, a passel of itty bitty clothespins that contrasted nicely with giant paper clips and will be used in concert with stripey baker's twine, bright bendy pretzel-shaped, erasers, darling two- and three dimensional note cards (bacon and eggs, a garden hedgehog), and a felt board full of trees and owls that has already been installed on the bulletin board by my desk. And that's not all! A tin flower pot to hold the various miniatures, a box of Auntie Anne's pretzel mix and, get this, a Starbucks card too!

All of this demonstrated so much whimsy and good wishes... it plays right into my addictions to office supplies--and not a single duplicate!--coffee and travel. For yes, it's true, I've been known to go out of my way to hit the Auntie Anne kiosks at airports around the country. And the first Starbucks in my town recently opened, so I need not even venture away from home to enjoy the sweet coffee goodness. Thank you thank you thank you, Secret Quonsar!!
posted by carmicha at 6:59 PM on December 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

Trivia Newton John is the best, you guys. Not only did I get an awesome Shaun the Sheep that goes perfectly with last year's Quonsmas gift (from someone else) of an adorable shark puppet, but she included an Epiphany gift (because of this six-year-old comment, possibly) and a beautiful note about why a Shaun the Sheep and about Christmas time in Australia and a touching personal affirmation.
posted by Etrigan at 7:02 PM on December 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

Also, there really should be a "quonsar" option for contact details.
posted by Etrigan at 7:04 PM on December 11, 2014 [29 favorites]

I love this thread. I wish I could render it like a global event sequence in a 1930s/40s movie, with a map of the spinning globe and dotted lines tracing each Quonsmas gift as it travels through the air and lands in each spot.

I'm glad to report that an essential part of my gift to my quonsee finally arrived, and it will go into postal mail tomorrow. Tomorrow evening I'll open the one that's been tantalizing me all week. Should make for a nice Friday night, eggnog, R&R moment.
posted by Miko at 8:05 PM on December 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

To my secret quonsar, whose username remains a mystery: thank you SO MUCH for the awesome and very generous gift! You chose perfectly! I am going to go brew a cup of coconut oolong as soon as I am done writing this thank you message. :) I would have thanked you sooner, but my roommate apparently had my package riding around in her car for 3 days without telling me. Grr. No tea for her.

Best Quonsmas ever. :)
posted by Pizzarina Sbarro at 10:39 PM on December 11, 2014 [2 favorites]

I got an awesome star wars mug! It stirs itself. Truly the future is a magical place :)
posted by goHermGO at 6:52 AM on December 12, 2014

On my way out the door to go to my local Detroit Stuff Shop

I am going to move forward in life believing this is the actual name of a store :)


I also am a good source for burial locations in and around New York - my services are at your disposal as well Etrigan.
posted by Julnyes at 7:31 AM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, there really should be a "quonsar" option for contact details.

I would ride this pony, feed it, water it, curry its mane, and do all the other things that ponies need doing. This needs to be an option!
posted by RedOrGreen at 8:49 AM on December 12, 2014 [4 favorites]

The Quonsing has ocurred! I was lying in bed today, totally miserable, because it is the day of my Christmas party and I am dying (dying!) of flu and I can't make it. So I rang my workplace to tell them and while I was on I asked if there was a package for me, and yes there was! I said I'd collect it on Monday, then roughly two minutes later the suspense was killing me so I dispatched my SO to go and get it "to cheer me up *piteous sniffle*".

My Secret Quonsar remains secret, but whoever you are thank you so much! I got a great mascara and a gorgeous vintage-style lip and cheek rouge (which my puffy eyes and ghostly pallor are actually in great need of right this minute) and also a really interesting looking book about Louise Brooks and her contemporaries which I'm very much looking forward to reading. I'm sure I've never mentioned anywhere on the site that I love Louise Brooks, but when I trained as a makeup artist that was my favourite period to research and she was my favourite icon, so you couldn't have chosen any better.

I'd love to know who you are so I can thank you personally, but in case you want to remain anonymous please accept a massive thank you for lifting my spirits today when I really needed it. Quons bless us, every one!
posted by billiebee at 8:49 AM on December 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

Also, there really should be a "quonsar" option for contact details.

I thought about even posting a MeTa about this! but then I forgot</small
posted by maryr at 9:06 AM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]

Also, there really should be a "quonsar" option for contact details.

I thought about even posting a MeTa about this!

Contact form has been used. I'll let y'all know what they say.
posted by Etrigan at 9:20 AM on December 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

maxwelton, that was me! I'm so glad you're enjoying the gift. You said you liked things that were local to the sender but, well, I'm about 60 miles away from you!

So I reached back to my growing-up years. Daffin's candy, especially the chocolate pops, were always part of our Christmas as kids. Melt-a-ways were for the grown-ups! So you get both!

Merry Quonsmas!
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 9:20 AM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

Contact form has been used. I'll let y'all know what they say.

Did you ask for "Quonsar" only as a contact option, or "Quonsar" and "Quonsee"? (Or maybe I'm the only one who would like that option?) Either way it would be a cool addition to the contact list, thanks for taking it up.
posted by billiebee at 9:31 AM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

Being ensQuonsed?

is this the great ensQuonsoning?

Will I ever meet my Prince Quonsar?

I wish to ensQuonse you
posted by infini at 9:37 AM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]

My gift is patiently waiting at the post office! Quonsee, it's waiting for you! (and has nothing in it that'll go bad if it waits a little longer)
posted by platypus of the universe at 9:44 AM on December 12, 2014

I found an adorable package waiting for me at home yesterday-- a beautiful necklace from my thoughtful Quonsar! Thank you, thank you so much, Quonsar! I love it! :)
posted by bonheur at 9:53 AM on December 12, 2014

I would like Quonsar, Quonsee, and Quonsest!
posted by mochapickle at 9:57 AM on December 12, 2014

I'm going to save this thread and read it throughout the year because it brings me the warm fuzzies to see everyone so happy.
posted by patheral at 11:35 AM on December 12, 2014 [7 favorites]

I'd love the option to add my quonsee/ar as contacts as well, but contacts use the XFN specification and I don't think that will be changed. Even for Quonsmas.
posted by sockermom at 12:43 PM on December 12, 2014

OMGOMGOMG! My Quonsar PorcineWithMe sent me an adorable necklace with a tuxedo cat on it!!! Thank you SO much! That makes two years of excellent cat gifts!
posted by avocet at 3:12 PM on December 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

Oh yay!! I'm glad it arrived! I was nervous because I didn't spring for tracking.... Happy Quonsmas!
posted by PorcineWithMe at 3:15 PM on December 12, 2014

I've been Quonsed! With an adorable, yet terrifying, small preserved gator head. I shall place in in the Cabinet of Curiosities. Thank you Herr Zebrurka!

(Also, the box arrived opened, yet the gator was unharmed. A Quonsmas miracle!)
posted by JoanArkham at 3:45 PM on December 12, 2014 [4 favorites]

Also, the box arrived opened, yet the gator was unharmed. A Quonsmas miracle!

When I first read that, it took me a second to realize you meant "the jar was unbroken" and not "something really wild happened between the time I opened my gift and the time the gator became a small preserved head." Quonsmas miracles can be scary!
posted by DingoMutt at 3:59 PM on December 12, 2014

Oops, forgot to post a pic. No jar...beware the pointy teeths!
posted by JoanArkham at 4:07 PM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]

Watching the myriad of Quonsmas interpretations is just the best. The best! Homemade bitters! Crocodiles!! Mysterious jams! It's like an advent calendar of glee!
posted by jetlagaddict at 5:10 PM on December 12, 2014 [5 favorites]

(Oh my dear gods of Quonsmas, I hope I did it right and I hopehopehope that the gift I sent finally arrives! For the love of all that's small and fuzzy, please let it arrive soon, and may it make my Quonsee smile.)
posted by Too-Ticky at 5:16 PM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]

Quonsmas has arrived! I got mine today, and I love it! I've already had some of the Firecracker chocolate (and I love that brand, by the way) and it is amazing! My Quonsar stayed anonymous, but if she's reading: Thank you!!!
posted by bookwibble at 6:29 PM on December 12, 2014

Quons bless us, every one! I finally shipped off my Quonsmas gift, and sat down to open my mystery package from the left coast. Appealingly heavy, it turned out to be two delicious jars - of local LA orange blossom raw honey and Viola's jalepeno jelly! How did you know pepper jelly is something I dream about, blahlala. Can't wait to try this honey, too, which I think will give me some of California's magical rejuvenating power. Thanks for introducing me to one of the more unexpected urban agriculture scenes in the US, and happy Quonsmas!
posted by Miko at 8:08 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

JoanArkham: I'm so glad the gator head gets a spot in your Cabinet! Also that the post office handled it with care in spite of the failed package - next time I shall use better tape.
posted by Herr Zebrurka at 11:03 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

Everyday I text my wife....anything yet?
I keep reading this thread amd seeing such amazing stuff and hoping my Quonsar isnt a rogue (if Julan could MeMail me and put myind ease that would be stellar)
posted by ShawnString at 3:13 AM on December 13, 2014

Bookwibble, that was me! I realized after I taped up the package that I had neglected to include a note. Glad you like the stuff!
posted by Daily Alice at 4:52 AM on December 13, 2014

bel et bien quonsée de Montréal!!! Joyeux Quoël! Io Quonsarnalia!

this morning, I considered whether to make my semi-infrequent bus trip to check my post box. decided not to brave the cold and pulled the covers over my head.

later...

hesitantly looked outside, only to be greeted by 'n paquet petit from Postes Canada! hurray!!!
(the woman who manages the Post and the carrier-lady both know me, and sometimes they'll do nice things like this, even though there is technically no actual mail delivery for the house. small town things...)

I have been wondering for a while now, what should I do when the day comes...? open everything or wait 'til the end of December? this cusp is the essence of Quonsmas!

so, this well-shaped cube du Québec. the douane-type slip sez:
- candy (yay!)
- USBkey (oooooooh!)
- soapstone (truly intrigued, this may be culturally relevant to me...)

(man, I always tell the most scurrilous lies on customs slips. being polite and honest is not the way!)

I did open the box, first thing I saw was colorful newsprint! (thank you SQ for recycling! also I have a particular nostalgic love of color newsprint wrapping) and the USB doodad! digging further, there are literally about 17 million separately-wrapped-somethings in there. still debating on whether to open things now, or.

but I did have to at least check out the flash drive:

an unassuming USB stick containing the most lovely Montreal local photos, music, recipes, and more!
(also, since I opened it in lunix, it automatically showed those weird hidden files that Macs keep around - don't worry SQ, I won't tell anyone what TV shows you watch! :)

but the iceberg lurks underneath still; we'll see how long it takes me to crack!

thank you Secret Quonsar! sans doute I will be back (possibly quite soon lol) with more tales of delight, and photos...
posted by dorian at 9:17 AM on December 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

also, I have to say: I have a pretty amazing signature, people almost always ask me if I'm a doctor. but, SQ? yours is better.
posted by dorian at 9:29 AM on December 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oops, forgot to post a pic. No jar...beware the pointy teeths!

JoanArkham, I like to think that the box contains a variety of citations for you to use in future MetaFilter disputes.
posted by Room 641-A at 9:53 AM on December 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thank you Secret Quonsar! I love my new scarf and can't wait to try the delicious Christmas pudding themed chocolate! Proof of Quonsmas Joy!
posted by vespabelle at 10:32 AM on December 13, 2014

Today is my birthday, and the wonderful Mr. Door gave me an Audubon field guide to New England and a lightweight tripod, so naturally we went out for a hike in the snowy western MA woods this morning. The perfect birthday outing for me—nature, photography, and exercise. So I was already in a pretty excellent mood when we arrived home... and what should be waiting outside our door, but a parcel from one S. Quonsar! Inside was some buttermilk biscuit mix, sweet pepper jelly, and a scraper/spatula. Thanks so much, sockermom! You made my first quonsmas (not to mention my birthday) just lovely, and I can't wait to make and eat some delicious treats.
posted by cellar door at 11:23 AM on December 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

Now I've opened my quonsmas package, and it had a variety of neat things in it! Bouncy balls, cookies, plastic dinosaurs, a memory stick and a pretty butterfly made of old electronics. Thanks a lot schnee!
posted by Herr Zebrurka at 12:08 PM on December 13, 2014

I've been Quonsed!! Thank you anonymous Quonsar - the napkins are fantastic as is the maple lolly! I've already been forced to share the Smarties with my thieving children who report that it was, 'yummy'. I love this Metafilter tradition!
posted by PorcineWithMe at 3:53 PM on December 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

Dbmcd - thank you so, so, SO much for all the goodies! Our package came last week, and my girlfriend and I ate the pickles the day we got it (and the apricot jam the day after). We're saving the third jam for a special occasion, and I've been furiously Googling recipes I can make with my new enormous supply of roman beans. The card are also amazing - we can't decide if we want to send them out or frame them and put them on our walls. Thanks a million!
posted by Itaxpica at 5:00 PM on December 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

I am really sorry to take a big ol' passive aggressive dump in the collective Cheerios here, but I have had a disappointing Quonsmas thus far and would like to vent a bit. (For the record, julen and the Quonczars have been unfailingly wonderful, as always.)

My quonsee was disappointed by some aspects of last year's gift, so the instructions asked to not do that. "Well," I thought, "I take that as a challenge!" I followed that request to the letter, then fulfilled at least three or four other suggestions. Then, on my way to send it alongside another package or two, I found some other fun additions that reflected my quonsee's habits and likes while adding some local flair. All told, I probably spent a good $50 or so. That was my choice. I love giving gifts, and I especially wanted to ensure that my quonsee felt good about the experience after a less than exciting one last year.

I managed to get it out pretty early, and USPS notified me that it got delivered. So I kept refreshing this thread, hoping to see that Quonsmas had come to a certain town across the country. Nothing.

After a while, I asked julen to check in with my quonsee. She reported back that the package had made it fine, but my quonsee had decided to open it later. Fine. So I waited some more. A few days ago, I remembered that there was some food in there that had an expiration date that was about to pass (if it hadn't already). I asked julen to mention it to my quonsee, and she said she'd be happy to do so.

Still nothing. The only thing I've heard is through julen herself.

I know I shouldn't expect a certain outcome from being quonsed. I give (more than suggested) because I love hunting for things that I think will delight someone else; I absolutely do not expect anything fancy or complicated. I just want to know that someone was thinking of me and took the time to pay attention to what I'm like -- or, failing that, just made me smile. Which isn't too hard!

Look: if you're not going to even acknowledge that someone took the time to send you something, maybe Quonsmas isn't for you. And I'm saying this as the world's worst thank-you note sender. All I want is for someone to post or message me saying, "I got a gift from [sheena's main account], and it was neat."

So if you can't manage that...

Compounding this is the fact that I haven't gotten any word on a package from my my own quonsar. Last year I was dealing with some health problems and didn't manage to get my gift out until January or something. But I emailed julen and my quonsee directly to keep them updated, and I tried to add some more stuff in to make the eventual gift worthwhile.

I mean, at this point someone even received a gift from a quonsar who was DYING but still managed to come through.

MetaFilter is such a special place. It's always a crapshoot to wonder what will happen; you're taking a chance by putting your thoughts out there in this community of strangers. But more often than not, things turn out not only well but happily, serendipitously, delightfully...

Not getting even that small consideration kind of shakes my faith in the community, the social contract that we have that says "I care about you even though I haven't met you." It shouldn't, but it does. And that's upsetting.

[Rant over. My apologies for carrying on. Thanks again to julen for serving as a kind ear and a messenger, among everything else.]
posted by sheena is a sock puppet at 7:43 PM on December 13, 2014 [4 favorites]

Sheena, I'm sorry you're not having a good experience with the Secret Quonsar exchange right now. Not everyone reacts exactly how we'd like them to all the time. Trust that when your Quonsee opens your gift they will love it and they will appreciate all the thought and care you so enjoyed putting into the choices you made for them.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 8:09 PM on December 13, 2014

I feel your pain, sheena is a sock puppet.

Although, now that I've quonsed and been quonsed for a few years now, I don't know what is worse - getting no acknowledgement for the gift I've sent (when I was given no direction whatsoever as to what the quonsee is into, so was flying blind, and it ended up costing me close to $100 with the international postage and all), or getting some weird random thing that still has me scratching my head as to what the hell that is good for, and why did someone think that's an appropriate gift for anyone.

But, on balance, every other year has been fantastic, both giving and receiving. Stay strong, have faith, and may the spirit of Quonsmas bring a package of amazingness to you soon.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 8:11 PM on December 13, 2014 [6 favorites]

You guys, I got quonsed BY JULEN! Which is basically the Quonsmas equivalent of finding out that your presents REALLY DID COME FROM SANTA CLAUS!!

And my gifts were amazingly perfect. Like, I wrote in my description that I collect old vintage ads that feature ridiculous sexism, and what did Julen do: she made me a bunch of magnets featuring 50s housewives from old magazines! And I also got a bunch of other cool knick-knacks and a scarf and it was fabulous.

The magic of Quonsmas is real, y'all!
posted by decathecting at 8:20 PM on December 13, 2014 [15 favorites]

Today I Quonsed! (In my usual fashion of leaving everything until the last possible minute.) My package is winging its way across the Atlantic as we speak. Fingers crossed it's met with "whee!" and not "wtf?"

So billiebee posted that two weeks ago, and today, in the Faraway Land that is Western Canada, I got her beautifully selected gifts! It was met with a "WTF! How did a gift this perfect arrive from a Total Internet Stranger? Whee!", so I think she did pretty well. There was obviously a lot of effort went into stalking me, given the charming card featuring an obscure critter I mentioned seeing once, the same chocolate I got (and loved) from my previous year's SQ, and some fun fidgeting toys, and a super-fitting and exciting looking cook book, Cooking For Geeks, (a cookbook from O'Reilly Press!) with all kinds of interesting information and tidbits - the exact kind of cookbook I love!

Thanks so much, my no-longer-secret Quonsar! Huzzah!
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 9:08 PM on December 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

sheena is a sock puppet, I'm really sorry to hear about your poor experience. I hope it gets better. it does get better. Quonsmas has a certain special meaning to me - from actually knowing the bastard, to the super-weird beautiful community bizarre-ass-tradition it's grown into, to being widow-er-ed for so many years and I don't even know how to explain how to my friends that it's this separate comfort.

I can't complain because every quonse I've gotten has been wonderful, no matter how random. and some years I have sent some pretty fire-and-forget-random stuff, and some years I have sent some direct-from-spamazon stuff, and I'm not one of these amazing crafts-people that make awesome cards and wrapping paper from scratch (well actually I am but debilitating mental illness puts a stop to that lately)

and yeah it is incredibly heart warming to see someone post about the nonsense you sent them, but for me, that's really not why I do it. well, no, I do like to see a grateful post, we all do. but, knowing that the package got there and made someone go WTF?! is about 95%, good enough. sometimes the quonsee may not be well enough to respond...

and. yes. the Quonsczar welves are awesome AS BALLS. er, BELLS! thank you julen, thank you arcticseal, thank you other hidden unnamed-welves.

Everyone needs a hug!
posted by dorian at 10:01 PM on December 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

Still nothing. The only thing I've heard is through julen herself.

Sheena, I feel your pain, but I can't help wondering if maybe you are transferring it from another source of stress for you at the moment. Regarding your gift - it's been just a few days since your message to OPEN NOW went out.

There is no reason to believe your quonsee has even read Julen's follow up note, let alone had time to act on it. I realise that it's important to feel a sense of gratitude when you do something nice, but I think you're being a bit premature to jump the gun - give it some more time, and the thanks you crave may well materialise. Additionally, I would hold in your heart your own words: "I know I shouldn't expect a certain outcome from being quonsed."

Regarding receiving your Quonsmas present, mate, it's only been two weeks since the deadline to send passed. You yourself acknowlege you were over a month late last year. I haven't received anything yet - probably because I live in frickin' Australia and it takes bloody weeks for anything to get anywhere to or from here. Your quonsar may be in Australia, or somewhere equally far flung.

I think Quonsmas is a fun, whimsical aspect of the site and I love participating in it. But I don't think it's really built to sustain a heavy emotional load on either side. It shouldn't be an upsetting time for anybody, and I'm sure it won't be one for you, if you hang in there.
posted by smoke at 10:38 PM on December 13, 2014 [9 favorites]

Sheena. We are in the same boat. My gift was delivered but I have not heard anything in the thread or privately. It has lessened my enjoyment this year. I am hoping the person is just being a little thoughtless and not enduring some kind of horrible holiday nightmare.

When I get bummed out by it I pop a piece of Chai Tea Rock Candy in my mouth and thank my Quonser for sending me something so delicious.
posted by cairnoflore at 11:37 PM on December 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

Sheena, I've been in the same boat as you. Last year was my first year participating, and my Quonsee never acknowledged my gift, which I had indeed put some thought into. I even debated participating again this year. (The gift that was sent to me was wonderful, and everyone should try to get Room 641-A as their Quonserer.) It's disappointing and disheartening, but you just have to let it go.

This year I sent mine off pretty early and didn't hear anything, nothing, nada, zilch. I finally broke down and asked the elves to find out whether if was received, so I wouldn't have a repeat experience. Thankfully, my Quonsee responded and is simply delaying opening it. So for everyone who might still be wondering, the elves are happy to put your troubled mind to rest.
posted by Liesl at 6:12 AM on December 14, 2014 [2 favorites]

The holidays can be so stressful. I have to admit that quonsing was hard this year. I received a lovely, lovely gift on the same day that a lot of meatspace stuff went down and in the chaos I just... didn't come in and thank my lovely Quonsar right away. And I kept remembering that I had a box at home but I kept forgetting to open it and I knew that the deadline hasn't even yet passed so I kept putting it off, the opening and the thanking, because I wanted to enjoy it and appreciate it and things were getting in my way and making it hard for me to find the right time to do all that. And I still feel bad about that, because my gift was just the bees knees phenomenal and I know I wasn't quick enough with my gratitude. But the little felted animals my quonsar gifted me with and made herself (!!!) keep staring at me with those big globey eyeballs and they are telling me it's just fine. That no one is perfect and that my quonsar didn't make them and send them to me so that I would experience guilt.

And then my gift went out two weeks late despite having it all together and ready to go before the deadline, again because of some external factors (surprise travel! miscommunication with a friend who was supposed to send it for me when I was away! etc!). So it's set to arrive on Monday and for that I am glad but man. It was a bit of a stressful one this year. I love doing it but this year was just a little more sideways than years past. Sometimes external factors happen and make things that are otherwise joyful and lovely just a bit less so. I'm sorry if anyone's quonsar gives them more sadness and not more joy. That's the pits.
posted by sockermom at 8:08 AM on December 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

Sheena, I feel your pain. Last year I received no acknowledgment of (what I thought was) a nice gift. This year I haven't heard anything at all either, but it's been less than a week since the gift was delivered so who knows. I think it's made worse by the fact that two years ago I had an amazing experience with the exchange so to expect some excitement again and not receive that was disappointing. Maybe I've reached peak Quonsar.

This is the season, however, to give the benefit of the doubt. There are a million reasons why someone might not acknowledge a gift received. Perhaps they're an introvert and they want an anonymous gift to be just that. Perhaps they're amazingly busy, perhaps they had some family crisis. Maybe they're not aware of this thread, which has long fallen off the front page of Metatalk. Maybe they lost the package and don't have your username. Maybe they don't use MeMail. I could go on, but my point is that while it may be disappointing, try assuming there's a good reason for it.

Enjoy the season. Enjoy knowing you put some effort into sending something and there's a good chance whoever received it will enjoy it, even if they don't tell you so.

I've been doing the exchange for a few years now and every year is different. Some years are amazing, some years are "meh", and some years are disappointing. Don't let it discourage you. Keep at it and maybe next year, or the year after that, it'll be better.

And, remember, in the grand scheme of things, this is an exchange where you send a gift to a random person from the internet, and receive one from a random person in return. Don't put too much stock in it.

Enjoy the season.
posted by bondcliff at 8:19 AM on December 14, 2014 [5 favorites]

The holidays can be so stressful.

Agreed. Holiday expectations are really rough all around. My SQ one year never posted in any of the public threads though I got a private "Got it, thanks" email from them. I just assume that people participating are a cross-section of the people who are posting to AskMe and many of them really seem to have a lot going on, some of which I can't even imagine enduring.

I was a sort of low-end participator in the cookie swap which is a similar "oooh aaaah" thing in a different thread. I missed the deadline because I was hurt. I participated to the letter of the rules and possibly not the spirit because it was the best I could do this time. I took out of it so much more than I put in this year and I am stupidly grateful to the people who (I am hoping) took my participation in the manner that I intended it which was basically "I signed up for this when I thought things would be better. They are not better." (they are better now, it was just bad timing for me)

So I am sorry you are hurting because that feels bad. I sometimes think these exercises we do as a community help us gird our loins or whatever you may want to call it for doing similar but more fraught things with our other real life family and friends. Take good care of yourself and realize that on balance you really added to the project and the community with your thoughtfulness and caring, and maybe that helped someone else when they needed it.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:25 AM on December 14, 2014 [4 favorites]

I'm so glad you like it, Westringia F.! Merry Quonsmas!
posted by Songdog at 9:18 AM on December 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

Itaxpica- so very glad you enjoyed the food and cards. If you (or a friend) have access to a garden, save a few of the beans and plant them, then you can have fresh supply next year!
posted by dbmcd at 9:25 AM on December 14, 2014

I made the suggestion to julen via memail, and it's not some amazing insight or anything, but maybe in the future one or more of these might be possible?

• That the thank you thread is established before the swap notices go out, and included in the announcement
• Perhaps pb/mathowie could establish a permanent address quonsmas, like metatalk.metafilter.com/quonsmas which would be an easy place to gather things like this thread

Though, of course, duh, maybe just use a tag, like one that's in use now, but an additional one for each year? /tags/quonsmas2015/ That way, it can be included in the notice.

Maybe try to establish that communicating with the elves both on gift sent and gift received is strongly encouraged? Not to create more work for the elves, of course.

And, of course, it's the time of year where you look at the calendar and go "2015? How it'd become 2015? I'm not even really caught up to 2011 yet."

To all my mefi friends (and frenemies), merry quonivus!
posted by maxwelton at 9:56 AM on December 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm sorry that you're having a lousy quonsar experience, sheena. For what it's worth, I'm another person who quonsed early (though my recipient did chime in in this thread) but hasn't gotten a package yet. My apartment is not the most secure place to get packages, and the post office is out of my way, so I'm down every day eagerly hoping to intercept my SQ gift and save myself that post office trip, and oh the suspense! Oh the hoping that no one steals my package!

Whenever I have those thoughts though, I think about everything else I've gotten from metafilter, both literally and figuratively. How folks I'd only met that night let me stay on their couch after a DC meetup, because I was drunk and it was awfully late for heading to my crash space clear across town. How I started down the career path I'm on now with so much mefi help. How I can't stop listening to an album I learned about on the blue a few days ago, and the lemon-date spread recipe I got from the green was such a hit at Thanksgiving. How I've taken so much human relations advice to heart and become a better person for it.

Hell, later this week a mefite friend I've never met IRL is coming to visit me! I wouldn't let just any person from the internet stay on my futon, but after a few months of weekly skype chats and talking about all the writing projects we want to collaborate on, I'm ready for this to happen and excited beyond belief. Metafilter made that happen.

Quonsmas may be the most literal physical take-home you can get from metafilter, but there is so much more to be gained here. As I wait for my quonsmas package, I try to tell myself that the physical items of quonsmas are only one subset of the many gifts metafilter's given me.
posted by ActionPopulated at 10:08 AM on December 14, 2014 [5 favorites]

The first year I didn't receive a thank you, either personal or not. The second year I did, and it was a nice note. This year, I'm extremely gratified that my quonsee loves what I got for her because putting it together was stressful for me due to finances.

I do make sure that when I do get a gift, I am appropriately thankful and mention what I like about it, and I definitely use them. I'll admit that I had to trim the cuffs of the hoodie a bit because they were too small and constricting, but otherwise, I wear it in the fall and I'm looking at the alarm clock I got from my first-year quonsar right now. (It's under my second monitor stand.) To look at these things and wear them remind me that there are awesome people out there in the world that I haven't met yet, even my own quonsar whose gift hasn't arrived yet.

Hang in there, sheena. Please don't let this minor thing ruin your holidays.

On preview, rock on, ActionPopulated.
posted by TrishaLynn at 10:12 AM on December 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

One of the services we offer as quonsczars that isn't so obvious is that we will gladly pass on messages of thanks and arrival from quonsees to quonsars, even if your sender isn't anonymous. We are super-happy to do it, not just because we totally steal gift ideas and then play them off on Xmas as being gift-giving geniuses, but because communication is a really powerful tool for making everything run more smoothly.

We also like passing on tracking numbers, delivery updates, guidance on when to open packages, etc. We are happy to ask folks if the gift arrived. We're happy to help quonsars and quonsees try and figure out why a gift hasn't arrived. We want to make things smoother, but are not yet omniscient. (We're working on it!)

Secret quonsar is both interesting and sometimes, yes, frustrating because people come from such different perspectives, places on the extrovert->introvert continuum, traditions, experiences/involvement with the MeFi community, and points of view. Some people genuinely just want to know it arrived; others want to be thanked; still others just want to make sure they are doing quonsar right. It's easy for me to overlook the fact that people do take this very seriously and don't want to be wrong on Metafilter -- because we three quonsczars tend to be understanding and forgiving; we've been there in so many instances and our quonsar philosophy is that people should do the best job they can in the circumstances they're given.

The fact is that every year, some people are superstars due to a magical combination of circumstances, and some people are "only" very good, and some people had a struggle. And it's tough to be on either end of the struggle. I will say this: the least of the gifts I have gotten - the one that seemed like a last-minute, buy it on the way to the post office 3 weeks later gift, I have $3, oh that is ... giftish? gift - has ended up being one I that I actually use pretty frequently. But at the time, I was ... underwhelmed. And that was nowhere near the worst gift I have heard about.

But enough about me. We do need to come up with a way to make it easier to keep track of presents that have arrived. I can't make anyone thank anyone else, but hopefully we can come up with an easy way to register that gifts have arrived, which is one of the biggest concerns we see in the secretquonsarswap email box.
posted by julen at 11:42 AM on December 14, 2014 [9 favorites]

I must have been a disappointment last year both as sender and sendee. Neither a thank you note nor did my gift arrive in one piece. As Jessamyn says above, life seriously got in the way of SQ.

What makes the difference though is julen and arcticseal and phunniemee and the others who keep these wheels oiled for us.

Thanks.
posted by infini at 11:56 AM on December 14, 2014 [3 favorites]

Otoh, whoever sent me maple syrup from Vermont along with buttermilk pancake mix, last year, thank you. I finally opened the box, one of the few things that did arrive safely from 6 months of customs warehousing between country A and B.
posted by infini at 11:57 AM on December 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

Now I'm worried that I forgot to acknowledge a prior quonsar :(
posted by divabat at 11:59 AM on December 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

What bondcliff said rings true to me. Some years are way better than others when it comes to Quonsmas. But in the end, it's random people sending and receiving gifts from random people on the internets, and that (to me) is in and of itself amazing. And, really, thank you to the Quonsmas elves for making this possible every year.

I've been doing Quonsmas for awhile -- even when I didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of -- but to me this helps. It helps to know that we're all willing to sign up and make someone else's holiday a little brighter by sending what we can. These thank you threads are great because I can watch everyone else open their gifts. It's like having a big circle of friends just digging in to the present pile. Yeah, it's a little anxiety producing when I'm looking for my present and not finding it or I see that the person I sent my present to hasn't found theirs yet. But I'm easily distracted by everyone else holding theirs up and saying, "OMG! Look what I got! Isn't it great?"
posted by patheral at 12:38 PM on December 14, 2014 [4 favorites]

Last year I was disappointed to never hear from my Quonsee. I really wanted to know if she liked the presents or not. But I loved the presents my Quonsar sent and I loved picking out presents for my Quonsee. So I decided to do it again this year. To temper my expectations a little, I didn't sign the card on my gift, and I left a clue as to who I was in the box. So now I have a Quonsee who may or may not solve a mystery, which is easier for me to not worry about whether it happens or not, and also fun to send out into the world.
posted by Margalo Epps at 1:22 PM on December 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

Just to back up what julen said: we are VERY, VERY, VERY HAPPY to help out both Quonsee and Secret Quonsar with questions, uncertainties and general "WTH, life just threw me a curveball, what do I do?" situations. We understand that between signing up in October and shipping in December, a whole lot can happen to change your ability to send stuff.

The post office gremlins also have their part to play too. I once wasn't quonsed due to China Post and had my present out get bounced the same year. Thanks to the miracle of Quonsmas and a lovely Second Chancer, I got the most marvellous Dr Who posters that now adorn my walls. It's down to that experience that I became an elf three years ago and it's been great every year.

So if you're having difficulties or just have a neck cramp from peering out the window looking for the post man, please get in touch and we'll do our best to make Quonsmas happen for you.
posted by arcticseal at 2:53 PM on December 14, 2014 [4 favorites]

Statistics time!

260 (65.1%) have received their gifts.
4 (1%) have maybe received their gifts.
6 (1.5%) have probably received their gifts.*
120 (30.08%) have no info - so please get in touch if we've sent you a check-in email.
9 (2.26%) were a No when we checked in with them, doesn't mean it's not on the way though, please check the woodshed or wherever the squirrels stash their acorns.

*New for 2015 is the definitely maybe category.
posted by arcticseal at 5:14 PM on December 14, 2014

I would like to chime in as well as the worst* elf, simply backing up julen and arcticseal to say that yes, we are super duper happy to pass along any messages, follow up on any questions, and basically try to make your Quonsmas experience as easy as humanly possible.

One of the things I've learned from my elfening, er, I've learned a bunch of things, but a really big one is that you can't anticipate how other people work. Some people are really bad at emailing. Some people are really bad at leaving their house. Some people are really bad at choosing gifts. Personally I think I'm bad at all of those things, but I know I do better than a lot of folks. Also? Shipping is hard. So hard. My UPS guy hid my gift under my neighbor's table, tarp, and chair on the porch! That package made it to my house and it was STILL HARD.

Anyway I think where I'm going with this is that my attitude towards Quonsmas is to try not to mess things up too bad on my end and then just be excited and happy and grateful if the stars align and a gift makes it to my door. That and julen and arcticseal are completely wonderful.

*No seriously, I am the worst. Nearly every time I sign into the quonsar account to do my share of the emailing I find 0 unread messages, then look and see that one or the other of those two has been busy all day. And I haven't even cracked it today because I am THE WORST and spent the entire day making a really elaborate gingerbread house from scratch and it was super grueling and someone please help me I have eaten so much sugar.

Oh and also I would like to thank everyone for making this thread and this community an absolute delight. I got fired right before quonsmas season started and this has been such a lovely, welcome escape from real life. You are all quonsmas heroes!
posted by phunniemee at 5:30 PM on December 14, 2014 [11 favorites]

Personally, I'm a adherent to the cult of julen, long may she reign. I have no idea how she gets it all organised so well, seriously, I turn up for a hard day at the Quonsmas coal face and she has all the tools* ready for a good day's chipping away.

- Candy pick - check
- Jelly bucket - check
- Cookie hard hat - check (because we're all about safety here at Quonsmas Central)

phunniemee is understating her contributions, she's awesome!

*we may have to rethink the marshmallow gumboots though
posted by arcticseal at 5:37 PM on December 14, 2014 [3 favorites]

No seriously guys look at this gingerbread house. The roof collapsed in on itself after about 2 seconds. We're gonna make a 3rd roof attempt tomorrow.

Oh oh oh oh! One of the windows is a triceratops, made with the dinosaur cookie cutters I got from my quonsar MeghanC last year!
posted by phunniemee at 5:39 PM on December 14, 2014 [14 favorites]

That may well be the best gingerbread house in the history of gingerbread houses.
posted by arcticseal at 5:40 PM on December 14, 2014 [2 favorites]

The roof looks a little leaky, though...
posted by quaking fajita at 5:42 PM on December 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

I've been quonsed, and man, do I need it today.

My son is in Sydney on a school excursion. Yes, the same Sydney which is currently in lockdown because of a siege, possibly terrorist-related, in a very public part of the CBD. I feel sick, and scared, and keep bursting into tears.

So thank you, SQ, for what will become the most awesome shot glass in my collection. I don't care that it didn't come from your hometown, the fact that you went out of your way during your Thanksgiving trip makes it even cooler. And the card is lovely too.

I can't thank you enough for a lovely bright spot in any otherwise awful day.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 5:43 PM on December 14, 2014 [6 favorites]

I was quonsed on Friday, and have been enjoying my Flavour Thesaurus in tiny doses all weekend. I'm dreaming about later this week, when the semester will be over, and I'll have time to enjoy cooking again, instead of just shoving miscellaneous sustenance into my face.

Thank you Quonsar!
posted by bethnull at 6:08 PM on December 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

Best wishes for your son, mailbustacey9999.
posted by DingoMutt at 6:51 PM on December 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

I wonder, when/if we have a way to "mark received" - or even if not - would it be reasonable to make "acknowledge receipt" part of the basic expectation of SQ? Like, when you get your draw, you're expected to send a gift of such-and-such general value, AND you're expected to acknowledge it in one of XYZ ways. I know that wouldn't solve 100% of the cases, but might not hurt to lay it out there at the outset.

I also like the idea of creating an official "Thank you" thread when the draw goes out, and adding a link to the thank-you thread in the same email as the draw, making it easy to find again.
posted by Miko at 9:01 PM on December 14, 2014 [2 favorites]

Okay, so I have been very, very good this Quonsmas season. I was pretty on the ball with my gift, and got a nice thank you memail and comment in the thread from my quonsee. I sent out a second chance package - that's still on the road, but I was even happier with how that came together. And all the while, my Quonsmas gifts waited on my desk: I had what felt like a book, and a padded mystery envelope, but Kostia, my quonser, told me that there was a third item yet to arrive, in a thin envelope. Out of her control, she said. Might take a long time, she said. Should I wait, or should I open ...?

Well, the thin envelope showed up in my mailbox, so I took a deep breath, and...

WOW!

The padded envelope was packed with goodies from NASA Goddard. Historic old postcards with pictures of Robert Goddard and NASCOM and Mission Control. A Goddard patch - sadly lost to me, because it has been claimed for my son's backpack. NASA lanyard. Fun stuff!

The book, in one of those classic bits of Quonsar synchronicity, was actually on my Amazon "To get some day" list: The Orphan Master's Son, winner of the Pulitzer, discussed on MeFi ("Dear Leader dreams of sushi") and repeatedly recommended. Just perfect.

So this was a perfect Quonsmas, and I was ready to write up this comment and send along a Thank You memail, as I slit open the thin envelope. There was a little card inside - a bookplate. And it took me several seconds to figure out what I was looking at, and scrape my jaw off the floor.

Guys. Kostia got Ann Leckie - the 2014 Hugo, Nebula, BSFA, and Arthur Clarke award winner Ann Leckie, whose first book, Ancillary Justice, I've repeatedly pushed on people here on AskMe - Kostia got her to personally inscribe a bookplate to me, by name, wishing me a Merry Quonsmas.

I don't know how she got this to happen. Is she a favorite aunt? A family friend? Is there blackmail involved? Dark magic of some sort? I don't know, but O. M. G. this is incredible. I'm going to go to bed glowing with the warmth of Quonsmas, and I am going to giggle in my sleep as I imagine Ann Leckie scratching her head ("Really? with a Q?") as she writes out "Merry Quonsmas" to me.

Thank you, Kostia - this was simply incredible. The merriest of Quonsmas wishes to you.
posted by RedOrGreen at 9:49 PM on December 14, 2014 [29 favorites]

(The school bus with precious cargo - my son, and about 60 other country kids - is safely on the way home. Words cannot express the relief I feel.)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 10:16 PM on December 14, 2014 [19 favorites]

We just sent out another batch of "Did you get it?" emails to 38 lucky (quiet) folks for who we had no notes and no status. We'll be swinging back around to check-in again with folks whose status is amorphous in our tracker to make sure your gifts arrived. Feel free to beat us to the punch to let us know that you've gotten your gift (after all)!
posted by julen at 11:40 PM on December 14, 2014

I've been quonsed from Texas but I missed this thread! In my haste to open the package I may have wrecked the sender information, so thank you, mysterious cthlululian quonsee from Austin!

Infini, I'm glad you liked it and it made it through!
posted by motdiem2 at 11:56 PM on December 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

To my dearest Quonsee, Quonsmas Benefactory, Quonsy Godmother... I have not been home in over two weeks due to an extended work placement in the but my housemate just confirmed there is a parcel waiting for me. I will be home in 6 more days and want to open it myself. If it contains a puppy MeMail me immediately and I'll make him open it. Even though he claims it is a bodystocking and he has already tried it on, but I have been very good this year and I know you wouldn't do that to me.

Anyway, sorry if you have been checking the thread to find out how much I loved your gift. I do! I just haven't seen it yet.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 3:38 AM on December 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yeah my favourite part was "You're awesome" :P made my day
posted by infini at 3:50 AM on December 15, 2014

infini : there may or may not be another package coming your way too, depending on wether the retailer corrected the address properly and/or was able to send it on time - Otherwise, there will be a quonsmas gift in the ether of the world's postal service.

Yes I sent two packages. I like redundancy across unreliable networks.
posted by motdiem2 at 4:53 AM on December 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

I came back from my vacation to Japan to find my quonsar gift waiting for me at the office. It is a badass set of LED lights that I cannot wait to use to decorate my apartment. A very thoughtful and useful gift - cheers all the way around for both the gift and the slant rhyme that was attached.

Much love for my quonsar.
posted by leffler at 6:13 AM on December 15, 2014

Phunniemee, that gingerbread house looks amazing, and the triceratops window thrills me beyond measure. Also, I'm pretty impressed at your house construction skills, because holy shit, that is not what the gingerbread houses I've made have come out looking like.
posted by MeghanC at 6:14 AM on December 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

bondcliff, thank you so much for the local sweets! This is my first Quonsmas and I did not realize we were supposed to check in here when we received the gift. I knew there was a thank you thread but I was going to save opening the package for Christmas. After reading this thread, however, I got too excited to wait anymore and tore into it! The chocolates are so delicious, thanks!
posted by slenderloris at 9:37 AM on December 15, 2014

Given the hurt feelings in this thread, next year maybe it should be made explicit that the deadline for RECEIVING gifts is the 10th or 15th or whatever. I thought it was the 25th but I know a lot of people don't celebrate Christmas on the 25th (Russian) or don't celebrate Christmas at all and instead celebrate New Years or something.

Personally, I would be fine receiving something anywhere between Solstice and January 6th or so, so I feel bad on behalf of the gifters whose giftees are already upset.
posted by small_ruminant at 9:43 AM on December 15, 2014

Setting a receive date is all very well but from previous years I know it has taken about 6 weeks for packages to get through internationally, so having some form of penalty would be a bit much.
posted by biffa at 9:57 AM on December 15, 2014

I agree. I was more thinking of people holding off on the hurt feelings til then, I guess.
posted by small_ruminant at 9:59 AM on December 15, 2014

bondcliff, thank you so much for the local sweets! This is my first Quonsmas and I did not realize we were supposed to check in here when we received the gift.

You're welcome! Glad you enjoyed them!
posted by bondcliff at 10:37 AM on December 15, 2014

It's Quonsmas!!!!! It's Quonsmas!!!!! And WHAT a Quonsmas it is!

An extremely fragrant box arrived on my desk today, and HOLY CRIPES is it full of fine things. I am still unpacking it all: a warm pair of Smartwool socks in a color I don't have, an absolutely gorgeous blue and gold and sparkly shawl/scarf thingy, an iTunes gift card...

And LOCAL stuff! A gorgeous magnet from the Fenimore Art Museum in Cooperstown, Two bars of soap from the Erie Canal Soap Company, featuring scenes of different lock and dam systems :) Utica is Rosemary Lavender; Little Falls is Mint. I am generally smell-averse, but these are some of the nice, natural smells I actually really enjoy.

Geez, it's still going...

BABY stuff! Two adorable soft, small rattles with animal heads -- my daughter doesn't have any rattles, but she's right at the age of grabbing things for herself, so these are perfect. Three board books, including Richard Scarry's I Am A Bunny, which was on my wish list!

Oh, golly. The sweetest little card: "Toys and books for bambina; rest for Madamina. P.S. I forget if we're supposed to be secret?!?!"

I'm kind of fanning myself at this point.

User number 115649, you are currently my favorite MeFite. Thank you, Snarl Furillo. You have made my everything better.
posted by Madamina at 12:45 PM on December 15, 2014 [3 favorites]

Oh, and apple butter. Which is literally my favorite of all the butters. SO GREAT.
posted by Madamina at 12:51 PM on December 15, 2014

I wonder, when/if we have a way to "mark received" - or even if not - would it be reasonable to make "acknowledge receipt" part of the basic expectation of SQ? Like, when you get your draw, you're expected to send a gift of such-and-such general value, AND you're expected to acknowledge it in one of XYZ ways.

While I was struggling with insomnia last night, I was thinking about this. Partly because I just got a thank you from my last year's Quonsee, who was appalled to find out that after she'd asked Quonczar Elves for me email address, she'd failed to turn that into an email to me. I wonder if there's a way to make this easier/fewer steps. Though I have no idea if it's feasible to implement, I love the idea of having a Mad Libs style form memail. (Particularly for the more introverted/reaching out is difficult of us. I know party invitations got a lot easier when I could go click on a list of I plus people will/will not/may attend rather than call or compose a nice email or letter.)

Thanks for the Quonsmas present, it was [awesome][loud][furry][tasty].[I tore in right away][I'm saving it for _____]. [Yay!][Happy!][Merry Quonsmas!]
posted by Margalo Epps at 2:00 PM on December 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

Totally became a jerk and forgot to send all my love to atrahasis for a lovely quonsmas. Although truthfully i have been ruined by the amazing pear jam for all time.
posted by chasles at 2:20 PM on December 15, 2014

Quonsmas has come to the deludingmyself/tau_ceti household, after a long journey across the Atlantic Ocean! An anonymous Quonsar in the UK air mailed me this box, which, though slightly mangled on one corner, survived its trip intact. But what was inside? Removing the outer wrapper only piqued the natives' curiosity. But lo! the contents were entirely for human consumption: a jar of local honey, some handmade chutney, and clotted cream fudge from a Quonsar who I can only assume lives in Cornwall. Thank you, mystery MeFite, for making it a delicious Quonsmas here in Colorado!
posted by deludingmyself at 2:27 PM on December 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

I will NEVER NOT do SQ again. This is the best.

I did not think anything could make me feel better than having SENT the gifts to my quonsee, but his enthusiastic report of his slack-jawed amazement has made my year. Thank you, RedOrGreen, for responding to my gifts with such a wonderful gift of your own.

Happy Quonsmas to all!
posted by kostia at 3:01 PM on December 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

deludingmyself: Your "natives" are adorable!! Look at those sweet faces!
posted by orrnyereg at 3:03 PM on December 15, 2014 [4 favorites]

Bethnull, that was me - glad you liked it!
posted by une_heure_pleine at 3:08 PM on December 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

deludingmyself: Your "natives" are adorable!! Look at those sweet faces!

They are very practiced at The Sad Eyes.
posted by deludingmyself at 3:36 PM on December 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

deludingmyself: that was me in Cornwall, I was going to send a card but had to seal up the box before going to the PO due to its somewhat jury-rigged nature. I was kind of hoping the cat food box would slip by you, the recycling truck had been by the day before and it was the only box in the house, do pass on my apologies to your hounds. Happy Quonsmas!
posted by biffa at 3:54 PM on December 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yay! I have been quonsed ! A pretty freaking-smart member must have realized from my request (absolutely no sugar!) and an earlier post here that I have been orally-challenged, lately.

There is only so much one can do with rice, tofu, and noodles, before one begins to go; "FLAVOUR! I NEEDS ME SOME FLAVOUR."

Contained in the package were some amazing Ontario garlic products for my masticating pleasure. Garlic oil with scapes, garlic marinades, and freaking garlic beans! Yay! Nummy goodness pictured here. Astute observers will note that the garlic oil level is slightly down. I just used it to season my stir fry, the taste explosion was incredible. I also learned that scapes are a thing. The beans are soaking in a pot for awesome soup tomorrow night, as I type.

Angie P. Very pleased that my choices were well received. I spotted the cedar-plank BBQ-salmon skewer recipe thingy, and that sent me down the First Nations path, something I had been contemplating already. Hmmm I thought BBQed planked salmon is awesome. No way though that this is happening in Alberta, better gt some smoked salmon too. Oh Look! Smoked-salmon, in a cedar box! She can have that immediately. Grabbed the (Haida) mug on the way out, only because I saw the inscription inside. MEFI members, are special friends, met IRL or not, in my opinion.

The image Glowing Trees is actually taken at a mall in Coquitlam. I had an Inuit card ready to go, but a colleague is a huge fan of the local photographer, Nancy Harrison. He had some cards for mailing, and spontaneously offered me that card, when he saw me wrapping up your goodies, at the shipping table.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 4:21 PM on December 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thank you, biffa! And hey, the cat food box gave us a laugh. In the U.S. I don't think anything is advertised as "in jelly" unless it's a sweet fruit preserve of some kind. They sometimes throw gelatin into the "in gravy" versions of cat & dog food, but I think Americans find it more offputting than our UK & European animal-loving counterparts.

Either way, the pups eat dry food, and give us all the sad eyes.

Tried the fudge last night. Yum.
posted by deludingmyself at 4:21 PM on December 15, 2014

I got ask.metafilter's favorite ice scraper! No note, so I only know your real name, not your user name, SQ. Thank you and Merry Quonsmas!
posted by daisyace at 4:36 PM on December 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

Update on the perfect present:
"Still Waiting, still waiting .... [bass and drums, repeat]"
At least some of you will remember the Talking Heads song

Do Not Open Until Christmas remains intact so far ...
posted by bebrave! at 5:45 PM on December 15, 2014

Many thanks to samthemander for an awesome Quonsmas, including candy from Iceland (Iceland! I AM GONNA EAT CANDY LIKE A VIKING!) and a cardboard penguin and some adorable cat-shaped post-it notes. The process of battling it out with a 4-year-old for control of the post-its and the penguin is not going to be pretty, but I'm up to it. Ain't nobody getting those cat notes but me. Thanks again!!
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 6:22 PM on December 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh, nerdfish, thank you so much for the lovely gift! I could hardly wait to get home from a trip out of town after my family messaged that there was a mysterious box from Europe waiting for me. The stamps, kitchen timer, and crochet kit are *perfect* and I am happily stuffing my face with Christmas Quonsmas marzipan as I google "rookworst musical"... two words I never thought I'd be looking up together on purpose :)

Please excuse me, I must go now and find my ink pads so that I can Stamp All The Things.

(Thank you and Happy Quonsmas!!!!!)
posted by vespertine at 6:48 PM on December 15, 2014

SO MUCH THANKS to the excellent but no cigar! I'd mentioned in my signup that I've been getting more excited about bookbinding and minicomic making recently, and they sent me a really fun and also SUPER USEFUL assortment of supplies and tools! Everything was all individually wrapped in tissue paper, decorated with metallic pens, just....jeez, you know, just INCREDIBLY HAPPY MAKING! I took about a billion photos while I opened the package, it really did make a kind of stressful week about a thousand times better.

They also threw in a handful of my VERY FAVORITE KIND OF MINTS, which I assume means they're psychic in addition to being an extremely kind and generous human being.
posted by Narrative Priorities at 6:52 PM on December 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

I have been most thoroughly quonsed. The wonderful phuniemee looked at my list and thought "I know this guy. I know what he needs." At least I assume that's what she did, because that's what it felt like opening my Quonsmas box. Can you say "weird candy"? I got dulce de leche — actually, goat milk dulce de leche with pecans (it's really good). And mango flavored hot candy with tamarind sauce — that is made to look like spaghetti, and is in fact called "Salsagheti", featuring a Poochie-cool duck on the wrapper who I think is named Lucas Gusano ('cause ducks eat worms???). phuniemee suggested I might want to just enjoy the image and not actually eat it. What she didn't know is that I take statements like that as a dare! And delicious ginger-chai mints for the more conventional days.

I also got some "Kinetic Sand", which I have never seen before (I'm not down with the under-10 set.) I look forward to getting creative with it. Heck, I've just been enjoying the texture. Thank you, phunniemee, for all the great stuff.

(P.S. And sorry the coffee didn't come through. That was a great idea too.)
posted by benito.strauss at 7:39 PM on December 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

In honor of reaching the milestone of 300 confirmed secret quonsar gift deliveries...

STATISTICS!

399 people are participating this year
    300 (75.19%) have received their gift.
    12 (3.01%) have probably or maybe received their gift (waiting for confirmation from quonsees).
    22 (5.51%) have a package known to be in transit.
    31 (7.77%) of the gifts have not arrived yet and we are waiting on more info from senders.
    One is Lost/stolen.. One is probably lost/stolen. We are worried about 3 other presents in particular.
    34 (8.52%) of the gifts may or may not have arrived yet. We’re waiting to hear from quonsees if they got a present.

43 different known animals have played a starring role in quonsar presents.
15 Days before I abandoned distinction between probably and maybe in our spreadsheet*
7 people were known to be saving their packages for Christmas.
3 still are.
2 of the 3 quonczars have received their present.
1 gift has already been reassigned to a second chancer.

There's a whole bunch of emails we're waiting on to be answered.
posted by julen at 9:55 PM on December 15, 2014 [7 favorites]

What's the procedure to sign up to be a second chancer (if one is needed in the AustraliAsian region)
posted by infini at 1:30 AM on December 16, 2014

Imagine my delight on arriving home this afternoon to see a square box with a US postage label on it. I was immediately feeling Quonsy, and this feeling intensified into pure Qounstacy when I saw what the delightful Wintrymix had bestowed upon me.

One of my favourite OS gift categories of all time: Foreign Comestibles! Some delightful Vermontian (Vermontese? Vermin?) maple syrup AND some strawberry rose jam YUMSICLES!

I was even more impressed as said postage label included the ball-withering postage costs of sending such weighty foodstuffs all the way to Australia. I can only imagine Wintrymix's mixture of horror and awe when quoted such prices.

Thank you my friend, most appreciated!!
posted by smoke at 3:04 AM on December 16, 2014 [3 favorites]

The phrase "ball-withering...costs" might be a new favorite.
posted by JMOZ at 4:12 AM on December 16, 2014 [5 favorites]

A big thank you to maryrussell for some authentic Massachusetts goodness sent all the way to Australia. We get adequate maple syrup down here, but along came some never-before-tasted maple syrup candy (hmm...explains much diabetes I think) and pumpkin pancake mix. We don't have either locally, so this was awesome to the max. And packed with some lovely tea & jam in a fun little bag.
So my award for sweet & classy 2014 has been decided.

As a runner up, I'd like to thank all the folk who run this each year. It looks like a mammoth endeavour, but I can assure you when my kids see the parcel from my Internet friends from all over the world they are mammothly excited. Thank you kindly for all the work.
posted by bystander at 4:27 AM on December 16, 2014 [2 favorites]

And carbide, I see you were a few days before deadline. I have heard, from a friend of course, that your quonsar is well on its way, but might have been a little late.
I imagine that you have a mail slot in a Dublin flat that will clatter in the not too distant future.
posted by bystander at 4:30 AM on December 16, 2014 [3 favorites]

Yay!

(The "ball-withering postal costs" aren't even the worst of shipping internationally [Quonsmas comes but once a year]. It's the fact that you can't wrap anything up all pretty and you have to make some tough choices about what to include. But it's fun to send things to far-flung places!)
posted by wintrymix at 6:43 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

Perhaps it was this thread, perhaps it was the quonsmas elves, but I got a lovely MeMail from jasper411 letting me know that the place from where he'd purchased my gift hadn't even mailed it out yet! So, we're now both on tenterhooks to see if it will make it through. And now is there a new category for "The gorram place it was ordered from hasn't shipped it yet even though it was ordered a long time ago" in the spreadsheet?

Also, how pleased am I this year that both my quonsar and my quonsee live in the Bay Area? Quite pleased, I'll say. I lived there briefly in my early 20s and I've always wanted an additional excuse to visit again.
posted by TrishaLynn at 7:39 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

smoke - we just say Vermont (or any state) as the adjective for things from Vermont, I think. Unless it is a person, which is a Vermonter.
posted by maryr at 9:37 AM on December 16, 2014

Whee! Thank you, bystander! I got home grumpy this evening, and there was your parcel waiting for me. Pretty cheering even before I opened it, but it got better and better.

Along with a lovely note formatted like an FPP (this is so great), I got a 2015 calendar with woodland animal illustrations and collages, a puzzle book that I'm looking forward to conquering on a nice lazy day over the holidays, and an Australian Women's Weekly veggie cookbook full of delicious recipes.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful gifts, especially with my stupidly long and unhelpful hints to work off. You're totally on the mark, and I will enjoy them all.
posted by carbide at 10:02 AM on December 16, 2014

Huzzah, Narrative Priorities! I'm exceedingly thrilled you like your gifts and hope you find them useful. It was great fun choosing things for you and, as a bonus, getting to know your wonderful art and smart stories. I so love art supplies (so many raw possibilities), even if I'm all thumbs in that department. The candy I included is a favorite of mine, too! Nothing says Merry Quonsmas like excessive wrapping and concentrated sugar!

Happy Quonsmas one and all!
posted by but no cigar at 10:41 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

infini: "What's the procedure to sign up to be a second chancer (if one is needed in the AustraliAsian region)"

Send an email to our gmail account (secretquonsarswap), and we'll add you to the list. If you tell us where you are/willing to ship, it will make our lives slightly easier. We generally try to match folks sensibly, so we pay attention to people's locales, guidance, etc.

Whee!
posted by julen at 12:12 PM on December 16, 2014

Wowwww! I got my present, Cuke! I love it! I am feeling super rad in my matching toque and scarf. The grey and white combination is very nice. Also, what a sweet little surprise you'd wrapped up in the middle! My new little mouse-friend is great, I love its expression and the way it sits up. Also its rough crackly surface is beautiful. These gifts must be handmade, I wonder did you make any of these things? They're lovely, Thank you so very much!
posted by to recite so charmingly at 6:07 PM on December 16, 2014

I have been totally lax in my thank-you to cubby for my terrific wooden beads! We're both jewelry-makers, so it feels like a present from someone who knows!
posted by xingcat at 6:21 PM on December 16, 2014

Hi Secret Quonsar! Thank you so much for the PCB ruler (which I shall share with my soldering friend) and the Owl Kit! It is a beautiful little felt sewing project which will be perfect for winter nights at home listening to podcasts.

Hoot!
posted by Kerasia at 6:48 PM on December 16, 2014

Owl kit. Owl kit.

I can't stop saying it...
posted by JoanArkham at 12:50 PM on December 17, 2014

Huge thank you to carmicha who sent me spectacular bee socks and a bee pin, having clearly noticed my love of bees on Pinterest!
posted by Nimmie Amee at 4:00 PM on December 17, 2014 [2 favorites]

After missing an attempt by my post office I was successfully Quonsed on Monday! The gift I received was so thoughtful and generous I still can't believe it. First, I wonder if the person is on Ravelry because I got this pattern which has been sitting in my queue since October 2011, waiting patiently for me to buy and make it. Plus, little eyes because, if it were left up to me, I would never get around to buying eyes and then I'd do a crappy embroidery job and call it good. But now my flask will have cute, amazing eyes and I'm so excited to knit it. January is knit for yourself month (I may have made that up but it feels like it should be a thing) and this will be my first project.

I also got two amazing books. The first is Colour by Victoria Finlay which looks so interesting. I saw Roald Hoffman give a lecture on indigo a couple years ago that sparked a small curiosity for dye in my brain but I squashed it because it was the semester of my senior seminar. So I'm very happy to receive a gift that reignites that. The other book is The Fat Duck Cookbook by Heston Blumenthal. Cookbook doesn't begin to describe this. Every person who has walked through my door since Monday has been forced to admire the artwork. The last third of the book would be worth reading alone! It amazing that they use a rotavap for food. So clever! It's such a perfect blend of chemistry and cooking.

The gifts were also beautifully wrapped but I tore them open before I thought to take a picture. So here's a picture of an annoyed cat sitting the box. Sitting in the box is less fun when the human is taking your picture.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
posted by MaritaCov at 5:26 PM on December 17, 2014 [5 favorites]

I came home and there was a package!!!! I have been quonsed! Joy!!!

I got a beautiful flat stainless steel roux whip from Tesseractive! It's totally awesome and I had actually been thinking about getting one because I only have regular rounded whips and beaters and those are hard and frustrating to get stuff moving at the bottom of the pans with. It's a perfect quonsing and I was so excited I had to show it to someone but my wife isn't home from work yet. So I showed it to one of the cats instead. The lack of excitement displayed by the cat does not at all reflect my own level of excitement though she did try to gnaw on it for a moment.

Thank you Tesseractive! This was perfect! Thank you! I will put it to use immediately this very weekend. Oh, the roux and reductions I shall make with this great tool!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 9:16 PM on December 17, 2014 [2 favorites]

cat unamused == perfect
posted by dorian at 3:28 AM on December 18, 2014 [4 favorites]

While there was a real name signed to the thoroughly delightful package that arrived yesterday, I did not see a username (and cannot be sure that they are one and the same), so secret Quonsar, whoever you are, thank you!

I realized, after submitting the SQ sign up form, that my lack of details might be a little frustrating, I hope that they were not, but it certainly did not hinder my SQ from sending such a great gift.

I was a little extra excited to see that the package came across the pond from London, as it's a favorite place of mine. I laughed out loud at the letter about the history of the renaming of the game "Snatch-It", which I am looking forward to playing (very) soon. It sounds right up my alley, as are the postcards! And it's always a treat to get any, well almost any, British foodstuffs.

Thanks for a great Quonsmas and Happy Quonsmas to all!
posted by wintrymix at 7:34 AM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm glad you liked them to recite so charmingly! Everything is handmade. I made the mouse, it was fired in a raku kiln with a white crackle glaze. The toque and scarf were made by someone else and I bought them at a local craft fair. I hope you can wear them in good health this winter.
posted by Cuke at 11:28 AM on December 18, 2014

Vectorcon Systems, thanks so much for your gift! I was delighted to find it by the mailbox today, and even more so when I opened it up to find treats and reading material! The chocolate blueberries smell amazing and I can't wait to settle in with a cup of the tea and read an obscure book or two. (Personal inscriptions make things even better.)
posted by capricorn at 1:37 PM on December 18, 2014

Hey, I got a second package -- a very bright, very small flashlight! That makes two useful gifts, and 'useful' is just what I asked for. Thank you! Still no note, and now I think the real name on the first package may have been a shipper and not you, SQ... I wonder if there will be a big reveal?
posted by daisyace at 6:03 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thank you so much to my secret quonsar, who gifted me the most beautiful piece of petrified wood. I would actually love to hear more about it, if you know - it is partially blue and so pretty. Thank you thank you!!
posted by rocketing at 6:24 PM on December 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

donpardo, the elves told me to expect a present to be delivered by next Tuesday, but apparently the quonsars fly fast because a hefty box was on my porch this evening. The cookie jar pre-filled with sweets is super! It is super even without the cookies - and are those handmade marshmallows? I am trying not to devour all the goodies.
I am planning to save the other bits until next week so I can feel heroic about waiting. I will eye them greedily every day, morning and night, until I finally cave. Thanks so much! Merry quonsmas!
posted by janell at 7:05 PM on December 18, 2014

Ok broke down and read the card that adorns the package which says on the front: Do Not Open Until Christmas!
Inside addressed to my REAL first name by a SQ who has the same REAL first name as one of my best friends on earth!
This card directs me to wash warm and tumble dry (on the bottom as a footnote!)

There is NO WAY to peek into the package without ripping the paper, so ...
So I tucked the card back in to the package as it arrived and continue to wait for Christmas.

SQ I do love textiles. The wash/dry instructions are thrilling to me!
Thank you again!
Yes, I'm still waiting!
posted by bebrave! at 7:25 PM on December 18, 2014

I am so late to this party! But here is my Official Thank You Secret Merry Quonsar post and photo. My Secret Quonsar gets FULL POINTS for providing the only gift that can ever confound that classic staple of 20 Questions: "Is it bigger than a breadbox?"
posted by redsparkler at 11:07 PM on December 18, 2014 [4 favorites]

Thank you malibustacey9999!

Your lovely gift arrived on Tuesday. Or I should say gifts. I already wore the socks and they are perfect for wearing under winter boots. And it's fun to wear bright pink socks in winter when everything is so dark and everyone is wearing black. I appreciate that you supported your local breast cancer foundation in the process. Bruce the dropbear has found a place of honour on my bookshelf. He has plenty of dust bunnies to prey on.

I've already opened the musk sticks bag. At first I was doubtful but now they're in my handbag and everyone I meet gets one. They're like edible shampoo or perfume, in a good way. Nothing like that here in Finland. The rest of the candy I'm saving for Christmas. I also liked the newspaper you included. Local papers are so interesting when they're from the other side of the world! :)

So thank you again! I had big smile on my face when I noticed that my package was from Austaralia. I got candy and socks and a puppet from the other side of the globe!!!
posted by severiina at 5:48 AM on December 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

After some post office confusion it was determined that the mystery gift that coincidentally arrived on my birthday was, in fact, my secret quonsar gift. Thanks to my secret quonsar for the thoughtful gift and to both them and julen for their help in solving the mystery.
posted by jedicus at 7:47 AM on December 19, 2014

After a knuckle-headed mishap in which I inadvertently opened up one of my wife's presents in front of her after mistaking a package I'd forgotten I'd ordered for something from my Quonsar, I got my REAL Quonsar package last night - and am utterly delighted! Xingcat's presents were so spot-on that my wife said she's worried he out-gifted her =) An assortment of Ass-Kickin' hot sauces (including a wasabi one I'm trying to stop drinking straight out of the bottle), a cool lock-picking manual to fuel my love of odd hobbies, a metal dragonfly I will be assembling during my marathon conference calls today, and two hand-made bracelets whose colors just make me so happy - I will DEFINITELY be showing those off on my trip to Florida next week. As an Extra Added Bonus, our dog, who is convinced the entire world is a toy, decided that the empty envelope was great fun to ass around with all night.

What an excellent first Quonsmas, and how fun to get such a great collection of gifts from a Mefite whose comments I've enjoyed reading quite often. Thanks so much for everything, xingcat - happy Quonsmas!
posted by DingoMutt at 7:49 AM on December 19, 2014 [4 favorites]

Thank you so much griphus (and Apple)! The book is absolutely perfect. I am not a wizard. Happy Quonsmas from me, Masha, and Kodiak.
posted by rainbaby at 9:41 AM on December 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

P.S., Thank you for not sending me a gallon of cattle lube.
posted by DingoMutt at 10:47 AM on December 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Not yet been quonsed. ; _ ;
posted by LN at 12:44 PM on December 19, 2014

Aw, DingoMutt, I wouldn't even know how to wrap a gallon of cattle lube! I'm sorry the gift was on the late side....I was so excited by what I found, and then I couldn't get myself to the post office for some reason. I'm tickled pink that you're happy, and that your dog liked the envelope!
posted by xingcat at 12:45 PM on December 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thank you so much griphus (and Apple)! The book is absolutely perfect.

My first glance at that line had it as

Thank you so much griphus! The Apple ibook is absolutely perfect.

I was like "damn-n-n-n, how do i get griphus next year?"
posted by maxwelton at 12:56 PM on December 19, 2014 [2 favorites]

DingoMutt:

"Thank you for not sending me a gallon of cattle lube."

You say that now but what if next year's SQ gift is a frozen sample from Superior Equine Sires?
posted by Hairy Lobster at 12:57 PM on December 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Then their quonsar has broken the price guidelines.
posted by maryr at 12:59 PM on December 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Guys, I hate to break it to you, but my secret quonsar is the best secret quonsar of all. ThePinkSuperhero sent me part 2 of my gift! (Which was totally unnecessary since part one was so awesome.)

BUT OMG! She ordered a gift card to my local movie theater, with instructions to see Into the Woods (planning on it), The Last 5 Years (one of my favorite musicals but the trailer concerns me, still planning to see it), or Annie (I thought the trailer was cute, but it has gotten not so stellar reviews) to continue in the musical theatre theme.

I am so completely touched and thrilled. I had an awesome day, actually, and this is the icing on the cake. TPS, you went so above and beyond, I have no words (well, obviously I do, but they don't suffice.) THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Best Quonsmas ever.
posted by firei at 2:57 PM on December 19, 2014

Severiina, you have no idea how much I'm enjoying the mental image of you strutting around in your hot pink socks, eating pink musk sticks, while Bruce attacks the dust bunnies on your bookshelf.

I'm so glad you're happy. Merry Quonsmas!
posted by malibustacey9999 at 6:10 PM on December 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

So, my secret quonsar gifts arrived today and I was thrilled and wanted to say thank you to Kabanos!

I now have an awesome book about pie with some really neat recipes! I've been wanting to brave pie crusts now that I have my grandma's recipe so this is exciting.

And then..the best gift ever, ever, ever. Kabanos sent me a large card, suitable for framing, that is a photoshop of a cover of a book by one of my favorite authors customized for my profession. This is so getting framed and hung in my office next to the Seattle dalek painting.

Thank you for making a lousy week much better!
posted by eleanna at 7:28 PM on December 19, 2014

janelle: Those are indeed handmade marshmallows, coconut and orange. Screw patience. Dig in.

I have received my gift and I'm waiting until the day. I have high hopes as the box is from a quonsar at Dreamworks!
posted by donpardo at 8:30 AM on December 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

I suspect my mailman is hiding with my Quonsar's goodies in the back of ye olde post office, cackling with glee at making me wait like this.... is aiming evil thoughts at him un-Quonsmassy?
posted by easily confused at 8:57 AM on December 20, 2014

A very well-package box from Brooklyn showed up at my work with some Chuao Spicy Maya drinking chocolate and Tumbador Crazy Little Animal crackers. The animal crackers are lots of fun and the drinking chocolate is amazingly decadent. Thanks for the package, mysterious mefite, and have a great new year!
posted by saeculorum at 2:53 PM on December 20, 2014

Just arrived home to find a package with a box of microscope slides in it. I think this might mean that I've been quonsed, but I'm not sure because there was no packing slip or other identifying information. In any case, thank you secret quonsar, I'll definitely put them to good use.
posted by amelliferae at 6:23 PM on December 20, 2014

I was so excited to find a package all the way from the UK waiting for me in the Mail the day before I left home for three weeks for a bunch of holiday travels. I believe my secret Quonsar wanted to remain anonymous (either that or I completely fail at reading comprehension) but I got a delightful pink champagne chocolate bar from their favorite chocolate shop in the UK, and great handmade and painted ceramic buttons I can use to brighten up my infant's clothing. Thank you so much! The chocolate tasted amazing and the buttons are adorable!
posted by kthxbi at 1:29 PM on December 21, 2014

I got the second part of my Quonsar gift yesterday - a delicious package of Canadian treats, including a bar of Icewine Truffle Chocolate which I have never heard of and am very excited to try. I also got a postcard - so now I can say thankyou to Homeboy Trouble, rather than just to anonymous SQ. You are awesome!
posted by une_heure_pleine at 3:54 PM on December 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

A very late thank you to my Secret Quonsar. I got some wonderful bird earrings as well as a book that will come in handy on an unexpected plane ride coming up. I did truly appreciate it (Apologies for the late thank you as I got it in early December. It took me a little while to find my way back to this thread again.)
posted by typecloud at 6:16 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

You're very welcome eleanna. I'm glad the package got to you, and relieved that you enjoyed it!
posted by Kabanos at 8:58 AM on December 22, 2014

received in the mail today - an unexpected but most heartwarming postcard from la Quonsée!

I usually don't get any holiday cards, so thank you for the thank you!!

...

as for mine own S-Quonsar - I'm still trying to resist until 12/25... I will admit, I peeked slightly and saw what appeared to be a packet of mix for poutine sauce/gravy... now madly pondering if I can make/buy some cheese fries on Christmas day, not to mention wondering over what other treasures remain in this box!
posted by dorian at 9:59 AM on December 22, 2014

Many thanks for the Quansar package. It was torn open immediately. The card game will in time be played ,the home made bread and the jam were eaten on the spot by me and the shop staff (glad I did not wait till X-mas) and how did you know I had access to a player piano?

Thanks
posted by boilermonster at 10:21 AM on December 22, 2014

In this, the holiday season, let your eyes drift up to the top banner and see if there’s a number by the memail link. If there is, click on it and see if you have a message from one of us (arctic seal, phunniemee, julen). We’re probably asking if your gift arrived, if you have tracking for your gift, or other key gift-related questions.

(We prefer to communicate via email so we three quonsczars can all see the history behind a response, but we’re not afraid to use memail to get answers! Things we are afraid of: elves who think we stiffed them on butter, running out of packing tape, cookie recipes that turn out to be TERRIBLE.)

some mid-week STATISTICS!

399 people are participating this year
340 (85.21%) have received their gift.
10 (2.51%) have probably received their gift.
29 (7.27%) have a package known to be in transit.
15 (3.76%) of the gifts have not arrived yet. This number includes re-sends not yet in transit, scheduled late sends, and quonsars from whom we need more info.
5 (1.25%) of the gifts may or may not have arrived yet. We’re waiting to hear from quonsees if they got a present.

44 different known animals have played a starring role in quonsar presents.
27 awesome mefites have signed up to be second chancers.
9 people were known to be saving their packages for Christmas.
3 still are.
5 gifts have been declared lost or stolen; their original quonsars are sending or have sent another gift. 2 more are on the verge of being declared as such.
4 vendors have been remarkably bad at getting the purchased gift into the mail and thus into the quonsee’s hands!
5 times quonczars have responded to the same email at the same time! (a trending improvement!)
1 gift was returned to sender.

0 times the Gavle Goat has been burned down this year. It lives!
posted by julen at 10:30 AM on December 22, 2014 [5 favorites]

0 times the Gavle Goat has been burned down this year. It lives!

However, it is taking its toll on the quonczars...
posted by arcticseal at 11:24 AM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

You guys, I could not have asked for a better several days of mefi!

First I spent a lovely weekend wandering Philly, singing, playing Set, and eating decadent meals with elephantsvanish. While she was visiting, my second cookie swap package arrived in the mail. And today, in the midst of recovering from the weekend adventures, I got quonsed!!

Thank you MsMolly, for the adorable wee little jams, pickles, and walnuts in honey! Entire spread is here, laid out on my scarf in a vain attempt to prettify the kitchen floor.

Oscar Wildcat interrupted the photo shoot just moments later but tough luck for him, this food is ALL MINE! Hoping to get some vanilla ice cream to put those walnuts over later today.

I also appreciated the multi-purpose holiday card because the boxes my quonsar checked were uncannily fitting. I'm sure the cat will be horrified when I betray him to leave for Christmas, but he'll survive.

Thank you again MsMolly, and I hope your quonsmas has been excellent as well!
posted by ActionPopulated at 2:01 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

Thanks you my anonymous Quonser! I have been quonsed with an assortment of goodies from the pacific Northwest! Items included a very cool MoMA wind up thingamajig, which I love, a wonderful set of measuring cups for spices, etc, and various knickknacks. Love them all...and right before the holidays. Thank you secret Quonser! (my phone is dead so I will try to post pics later).
posted by Benway at 4:14 PM on December 22, 2014

My present arrived today! Thank you so much, astapasta24! I was actually considering whether to do the international or US-only quonsar group this year, and though I really like to have things from around the world, my budget meant that I chose the US group. So, getting items from Bali is extra-super-awesome :D

The little elephant incense holder is super cute, and he's holding a stick of my new incense right now - it smells lovely. The soaps look fantastic as well, I am excited to try them out. Also, you have lovely handwriting :)

Thank you, and happy-merry-quonsmas!
posted by insectosaurus at 5:50 PM on December 22, 2014

We have 3 x Quonsees and 1 x SQ from whom we have not received responses back from email, MeMail or telepathy.

You know who you are and if you want to stop getting the elfin stink eye, then I suggest you drop the Quonsczars a note pronto...
posted by arcticseal at 10:01 AM on December 23, 2014 [2 favorites]

Received an extremely handy and useful gift of bulletproof tools from arnicae last week, but life got in the way. So here is my belated official thank you!
posted by casarkos at 3:14 PM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]

I got quonsed (well it came in a while ago, but only got back home yesterday to open it)! Thanks to my quonsar for the chocolate (I've exercised some immense willpower to not devour it when I first saw it), little snacks, and bubble bath! I can't wait for the bubble bath. Having been traveling for the last 3 and a half months, I haven't had much chance of taking actual baths! Bubbles!!!
posted by astapasta24 at 3:59 PM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]

Well color me delightfully quonsared! I was told by one of the kindly Quonsar elves that my first gift was declared lost and the very same Quonsar-giver wanted to try again. Thank you so very much, stalwart and generous anonymous person! I absolutely love my tasty, fancy and boozy chocolates and will be enjoying these with coffee, as dessert or, as is the case at this moment, with nothing more than a song in my heart and a smile on my lips. The many (attractively boxed) chocolates are filled with Jim Beam, Grand Marnier, Remy Martin, or Orange Stolichnaya and so far I've had two, and they taste fabulous. Thank you for being so thoughtful and gifting me with such fun delights! ~Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more tasting to do. Oh the difficult life of a Mefite during Quonsmas........
posted by but no cigar at 5:02 PM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]

I've been quonsed! It's under the tree, waiting on The Big Day!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 9:27 PM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]

Totally non-Quons-related... it's now late Christmas Eve here in Oz. I've been inundating everyone I know (and some people I don't know) with Christmas cheer. Perhaps there may be wine involved.

I wish you all the happiest, bestest, most lovely 25 December ever. And especially for Julen, Articseal and Phunniemee. Without you, us Quonsees and Quonsers would have not had the best fun ever. (I don't even know if that makes sense. I'm drunk. Don't judge me.)

Okay. Time for me to drink a big glass of water and go to bed.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 3:55 AM on December 24, 2014 [15 favorites]

Thanks to cjorgensen's quonsing, my feelings about spiders have gone from 'I hate spiders unreservedly' to 'ambivalent'. I have a pile of comics to indulge in that I'd never have splurged on for myself, really cool art to frame, chocolate that won't kill me and a holiday card with a spinny thing that I can't seem to stop playing with. Thank you for bringing some happy to a very gray and rainy day!
posted by Wyeldfire at 1:29 PM on December 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

The second half of my Secret Quonsar's present has arrived! Candy plus some amusing things for my office. I'm sure my students will be very impressed by the Hello Kitty pens...
posted by thomas j wise at 5:23 PM on December 24, 2014

Thank you, Hairy Lobster! When did I mention my love of Jonny Quest? I'm working at the bar tonight and will share the whiskies and your notes with my partner.
posted by donpardo at 8:51 AM on December 25, 2014 [2 favorites]

SQ, do I know you??!? as each thing was unwrapped, my smile grew and my grinch-heart++

crunchie / violet crumble is one of my most-favoritest things in the world!
smarties - oh, man! the good, correct version of smarties!
90g street puck. except it is not vulcanized rubber but somehow apparently made out of delicious chocolate? I look forward to bafflement!
winegums, both sour and sweet! and a coffee crisp!
the previously-mentioned poutine sauce - I do have the cheese fries ready (sadly no curds) - but, not sure that part will survive to get more photos...
but... but... maple candy. wow. waow. growing up, there was a public sugar-house in wintertime. enough said.
soapstone! - apologies for bad photo, but it's a fat happy little walrus! zero clue if SQ carved it themself but it's awesome! - regardless - I am delighted that I am going to spend so much time interpreting and contemplating.
(my heritage includes both soapstone-carving and infuriating-collecting-and-boiling-of-sap, both of which I've done to ... interesting effects. so - I really enjoy what my SQ did, and I truly don't know what to devour first!)
what a haul, thank you!!!
posted by dorian at 9:02 AM on December 25, 2014

Loved the box of toys, ocherdraco! The glasses that make all the Christmas lights into snowflakes are indistinguishable from magic!
posted by smackfu at 10:44 AM on December 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

Merry Quonsmas, donpardo! Glad my sleuthing seems to have led me in the right direction!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 11:58 AM on December 25, 2014

Yay! Glad you liked it, smackfu!
posted by ocherdraco at 8:59 PM on December 25, 2014

Thank you advicepig! I love the whole box o stuff. I needed a thing for my bike handlebars to hold a phone and keys and you've provided just the thing. The matches are awesome. And so are you.
posted by readery at 10:44 PM on December 25, 2014

I've heard from my Quonsée and all is well. I will happily participate again next year!
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:32 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Well here it is Fri the day after Quonsmas and WOW have I been righteously Quonsed!
I waited as instructed on the accompanying card and I can tell you all it was so, so worth the wait!
I suspect but do not know for certain that it was handmade (wheeee!) which is no little thing, as this is a beautifully constructed (knitted? crocheted?) winter-wear OWL HAT! See, the washing instructions were in the card (which I did peek at a week or two ago) and not on the garment. AND, I'm quite sure the pretty yarn holding the package together in a lovely bow was also some of the yarn used to construct this magical bit of awesomeness!
Oh dear anon SQ, I could not be more pleased to have received this gift as my Quonsmas present! You see, I think of owls as my personal totem. I do not know how you were able to divine this fact, but you did! The magic of Quonsmas is REAL!
Thank you so, so much, I love it!
posted by bebrave! at 8:17 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh, I forgot to mention that the hand drawn card was amazing too.
posted by smackfu at 8:23 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Theora55, thanks to the card with the hand-cut and oh-so-seasonally appropriate 'special snowflakes,' now I know who you are! Thank you again for my very useful gifts!
posted by daisyace at 1:28 PM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

jmoz, I shall memail as well, but your gift was/is perfect. I have the flu, and have for several days. Opening the rather amazing FireDragon paper sculpture was really wonderful. Thank you, and I hope every Quonsmas is full of fishpants and joy for you! I won't attempt assembly until I feel a bit better, but I really, really like it.
posted by theora55 at 7:33 PM on December 26, 2014

theora55, I'm so glad you like it. They looked very very cool when assembled at the store, but I was nervous about a sending a craft project. I hope you feel better soon and your 2015 is excellent.
posted by JMOZ at 2:46 PM on December 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

Quansar! I was just told that a package from Japan(!) is at my house but I'm out of state until Tuesday, which is also my birthday, so I'm extra excited. I'll update when I get home :)
posted by Marinara at 7:14 PM on December 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

I got a lovely assortment of handmade nicknacks from thatcanadiangirl! We put the ornaments up on the tree, and we're saving the ornament-shaped chocolates to eat when we take the tree down. The bicycle-shaped paperclips are quite stylish. Heck, even the box is nice: now I have the conundrum of figuring out what, of the stuff on my desk, is worthy of being stored in such a handsome box.

Thanks!
posted by Banknote of the year at 9:54 PM on December 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I would like to thank the lovely and creative bethnull for a sweet package I received before xmas but saved to open on THE DAY. Not just a lovely collection of local treats from BC but padded in arbutus bark! Very thoughtful and appreciated.
posted by headnsouth at 7:07 AM on December 29, 2014

OK I don't know what to say now. The Elusive Architeuthis, via the Narwhal of Quonsmas -- the pantheon keeps growing! -- has sent me the most amazing signed, limited-edition print of the lunar calendar I have ever seen. It is gorgeous and I plan to spend a great deal of time studying its details (dinosaurs! time machines!) as soon as I convince myself that maybe I won't ruin it if I tempt fate and take it out of the tube a second time.

... and tucked inside, a unique New Moon patch as well? So great!

My sons and I have been having a blast with our growing origami airplane fleet. This additional gift has totally blown me away. Thank you!!! Merry Quonsmas to all, and to all a... a... a good deal of favorites on your next post!
posted by rouftop at 10:06 AM on December 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

A very pretty box arrived today! So pretty! Thank you thank you!
posted by JanetLand at 10:50 AM on December 29, 2014

Yay! rouftop, I was so excited to send you that lunar calendar that I was literally rubbing my hands together going "hee hee hee!" when I sent it off. I'm not sure it says so anywhere in the packaging but the calendar also glows in the dark. I'm glad it was a good call and that you're also enjoying the airplanes!
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 1:11 PM on December 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

I got a lovely package from an unknown MeFite who declined to leave their username! Some adorable stationery, beautiful stickers, and a gift card for my e-book habit. Thank you kindly, Mysterious Secret Quonsar!
posted by Phire at 1:30 PM on December 29, 2014

I came back from a lovely Christmas in Louisville to a spectacular box of wonderfulness. Readery nailed it, gift-wise, form and function in each item. Had to fight off other members of the family (and A Cat Who Lives Here) for some of the items. Whee!

We'll be posting statistics later tonight, but it's never too late to tell us your gift arrived if you think we don't already know!
posted by julen at 3:14 PM on December 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

STATISTICS

100%: 399 people participated in the swap.

91.48%:   365 people have gotten their gifts.
   5.01%:   20 gifts are still in transit (or have arrived and we haven’t been informed/noticed in public postings)
   2.76%:   11 gifts have not arrived. This number includes:
                       gifts traveling internationally
                       people who are getting a second chance gift that hasn't arrived yet.
                       people who are about to be reassigned to a second chancer…
                       people who told us the gift hasn’t arrived, but haven’t responded to subsequent emails…
   0.50%:   2 gifts have probably arrived.
   0.25%:   1 gift is a complete mystery.
                        one person has never responded to an email or a memail from us; we have no idea if they got it.

Our unique animal count starring in quonsar gifts is up to 45.

The Gavlegoat survived the season without being set alight; it’s been disassembled and is being sent to China for the Year of the Goat!
posted by julen at 7:30 PM on December 29, 2014 [11 favorites]

I am sitting here chortling at the jar of homemade applesauce I have just received from my quonser, who has not disclosed their username. Rest assured I have plans for this applesauce.

I am also marvelling at the little vial of gallium, and the envelope of dried... weirdberries? that you put one on your tongue and it merges with the flavor of whatever you're eating. How space-age. I am just filled with glee.
posted by tel3path at 5:39 AM on December 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

I forgot to post here, but I want to thank my mysterious Quonsarer, who sent me adorable cat shirts which cheered me up immensely in what has been a pretty bad end to 2014. I have only managed to wear them under multiple layers for warmth so far, but I look forward to spring.
posted by jeather at 9:51 AM on December 30, 2014

But what's the cat wearing then?
posted by arcticseal at 10:08 AM on December 30, 2014 [10 favorites]

I was just walking back to my place when I spied a blue and red box marked PRIORITY MAIL at the service desk of my building. :D :D :D :D

Thank you drlith for your cute and thoughtful little trinkets (I put them into my little box of such treasures, I love collecting them!!!), the magnets, the pretty cupcake purse and my favourite, the Chai Tea hand lotion! I loveee yummy and lovely-smelling toiletries and little pretty things, I was so happy to get them :D And this despite my vague guidance -- sorry, it was my first Quonsmas *_*
posted by rozaine at 8:38 PM on December 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

I was quonsed the day after Christmas, and after I was poked by the quonselves and got some confirmation via MeMail, I can reveal that my gift was this amazingly cute T-shirt from Threadless.

I'm going to have to do something about the sleeves because while my torso is an XL, my arms are bigger than that. But I like modding T-shirts anyways. Keeps my collection from looking too generic.

Looking forward to next year!
posted by TrishaLynn at 8:50 AM on December 31, 2014

I fnally got to open my quonsar present this morning. Oh man, totally worth the wait. Thank you so so so much for all the wondeful Japanese chocolates. Your homemade almonds were amazing. I'm super excited to try the wasabi snacks, the magnets on the fridge, and the socks are on my feet. Thank you!! :)
posted by Marinara at 1:20 PM on December 31, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have been quonsed! A beautifully packaged box showed up in the mail on Friday, filled with goodies! Thank you, unidentified quonsar! We will read the book with great interest and definitely sample the maple syrups! The neighbor down the road from my folks sugars in the spring, and his stuff is as dark as shoe polish, so I understand when you say the darker stuff is the best stuff! Happy Quonsmas, all!
posted by LN at 2:56 PM on January 3, 2015

I'm so glad the package finally arrived, rozaine! 7-10 days estimated delivery time my ass... I was beginning to worry that either the lotion had exploded en route and disintegrated the packaging, or that something in the box was on the secret customs ban list that had gotten my package confiscated and you put on the Highly Suspicious Furiners Surveillance List. Santa penguins can be subversive that way, you know.
posted by drlith at 6:25 AM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

STATISTICS

378 (94.74%) gifts have arrived.
009 (02.26%) gifts have not arrived yet.
        6 of these gifts are being re-sent or have been assigned to second chancers.
        3 of these gifts may be reassigned this week, barring a miracle.
006 (01.50%) gifts are in transit.
        these gifts are split between gifts sent super-late and gifts sent to far-off climes.
005 (01.25%) gifts have maybe arrived.
        2 of these gifts are waiting pickup
        1 of these gifts is awaiting a quonsee to get home and confirm that’s the sq gift
        1 of these gifts was sent to the late lamented anitanola.
001 (00.25%) gifts remain a complete mystery to us.
————
399 (100%) gifts in total.

We have about 10 emails out to folks awaiting answers (including most of the outstanding in transits asking if it’s arrived, and a few quonsars to ask what is up). We’ll be sending out a few more update requests in the next few days, and will be taking advantage of 1-3 more secret chancers this week.
posted by julen at 4:04 PM on January 4, 2015 [7 favorites]

I have my second round of Quonsmasness all packaged up and ready for posting tomorrow.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 6:29 PM on January 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

1 of these gifts is awaiting a quonsee to get home and confirm that’s the sq gift
I think that's me, and I can confirm that the package is indeed my SQ gift!

And boy was it worth the wait :) I've no idea who my Quonsar is, but I want to convey my gushing thanks for a wonderful, thoughtful gift! The package smelled like marzipan all the way home, and contained almond oatmeal soap, a chocolate truffle assortment, and two beautiful skeins of wool, one of which is getting knit into a pair of socks as soon as I can get my hands on a ball winder. There was also a nice card telling me that everything was made in Minnesota, from where my Quonsar hails. Thank you! ♥ ♥ ♥
posted by snakeling at 9:42 AM on January 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

Thanks for the lovely gift, Kimberussell! I'm looking forward to trying this new kind of tea making mug and thrilled with this puzzle which is both jigsaw and hidden objects (one you've put the jigsaw together). I can see I'll be spending time with the both of them this week.
posted by Margalo Epps at 7:39 PM on January 5, 2015

Thank you wiskunde! :D I returned from a trip and found your package waiting... thank you for the lovely card and thoughtful note! And the special tshirt! :) I appreciate all the thought and effort you put into sharing something interesting from your city that wasn't super typical/stereotypical. Thank you for making Quonsmas / Quonsyear fun!
posted by aielen at 7:33 AM on January 6, 2015

Thank you to my secret second-chancer! Your package arrived just as the kids and I came home together so we we all opened it together. My 6yo has claimed the change purse and the 8yo is placing the cute bike magnets on the fridge as I type. The clips and tea towel are adorable, as is the collage-your-own card. Thank you so much! A very merry quonsar indeed. I especially appreciate you stepping in after the first gift was declared lost/stolen.

Thank you to whoever my first quonsar was as well, I'm sorry the package didn't make it but I appreciate the thought you put into it all the same.
posted by Cuke at 12:43 PM on January 6, 2015 [1 favorite]

I was quonsed! Thank you to my lovely quonsar, whose name I am unsure of because I have misplaced their card, but who sent me a selection of delicious chocolate from NYC.

Actually, I was quonsed a while back, but haven't been able to post until now because of…well, life stuff. Unhappy life stuff. Really, super crappy life stuff. But thank you, secret quonsar, for your thoughtful gift, and I do hope you're not one of the people feeling unloved and unappreciated by their quonsee's lack of response. I'm sorry I wasn't able to thank you earlier, but do know that unhappy life stuff is easier to endure when served with large quantities of delicious chocolate.

My gift is also on its way, but also super late. Please give it a little longer before reassigning it, Quonsar Elves…it departed later than expected (later than I initially advised you) and has a long way to travel. I'm so sorry, dear quonsee, for the long wait. If it's any consolation, your will likely receive your gift before several first-degree relatives receive theirs. Can we perhaps agree to think of it as "making Quonsmas last longer?"
posted by embrangled at 4:23 PM on January 6, 2015 [3 favorites]

Just as a non-stats update:
-> our list of Not-Arriveds is trending down,
-> our Yeses are trending upward,
-> our Maybes are just emails looking for confirmation,
-> our second chancers are awesome (and we'll call on 1 or 2 more before we're done, I think),
-> mail services maintain to display occasional spots of jerkiness,
-> mailing to Australia from the US is apparently done by strapping packages to jellyfish.
posted by julen at 2:36 AM on January 8, 2015 [4 favorites]

Thank you to my secret quonsar. I'm sorry I've left the card elsewhere, so I can't pop your name in at the mo - but the gift was just awesome.

Full of local goodies: including local teas, a Yale glass & card, a local cook book, some scrumptious s'mores (which I've never heard before, but I swear there's some sort of law in US TV series to make sure they're mentioned at least once, so I've always wondered!) and an awesome field notebook from California. (If you're interested there's : a pic online).

Last time I went to the US I managed to eat Clam Chowder - another US food I'd always wondered about - so now I've got two of those down. Next on my list is "grits".

I actually work at a Uni in the UK - so the Yale glass has pride of place on my desk, and has got some admiring comments already!

Thank you so much - it's like you knew exactly what would be perfect for me and it made it here for the first day back after Christmas, when I was feeling ill, tired and not ready for work - I think everyone here felt a little more jolly at the unpacking!
posted by SuckPoppet at 3:48 AM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

SuckPoppet: check your memail!
posted by easily confused at 7:34 AM on January 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

I've been quonsed, I've been quonsed! Or maybe, considering the date, perhaps I've been birthday-ed?!?

jessypie sent me a lovely collection of Chicago chocolatey goodness: I'd post a photo, but oopsie! It appears a couple of the goodies, um, "accidentally" fell open....
posted by easily confused at 5:39 PM on January 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

GOOD GAD!!! I'VE BEEN DOUBLE QUONSED!

Waiting to confirm if it was the backup from my SQ since it was simply addressed to the business name, but LOOK WHAT I GOT!


no, not a new ALL CAPS key, sorry!
posted by infini at 2:52 AM on January 9, 2015

Yes infini - this was my initial SQ gift! When afraid it wouldn't show up on time, I sent a backup one. So happy it made its way to you! It's a January quonsar miracle!
posted by motdiem2 at 4:43 AM on January 9, 2015 [2 favorites]

Yes, this was the BESTEST present!! You have no idea just how perfect this is - I always use paper calenders for my appointment diary and while this is more for the wall, than the desk, it resonates with me on *so* many levels.

Thank you for this most perfect choice.

/repurposed memail, don't print it out and save our trees
posted by infini at 4:51 AM on January 9, 2015 [1 favorite]

Wyeldfire, just to you know, those cards were handmade and I made the balls.

The artwork is from an artists named Joe Havasay and everyone should own something by him.

Thank you to my quonsor, but unless you out yourself you'll have to stay anonymous. I put the envelope on the counter and it was discarded before I could note the name.

I got chocolate and a poetry journal!
posted by cjorgensen at 1:04 PM on January 9, 2015

I believe I received my SQ gift, which made quite a journey over land and sea! Thank you, SQ!
posted by peripathetic at 11:36 PM on January 12, 2015

I too have now been quonsed. I received an awesome bamboo cutting board with marks for all sorts of useful sizes and styles of cuts. Which, since consistency with my knife work is a major weakness, is just about perfect. It's also really cool looking and will have a place of honor in my new kitchen as soon as it's legally my new kitchen.

Thank you second-chance quonsar!

(Also, thanks to my original quonsar, who no doubt put picked out something equally awesome that I unfortunately will never get due to whatever cosmic force intercepted the package)
posted by Gygesringtone at 10:30 AM on January 17, 2015

Thank you to headnsouth for my lovely gifts, after so many post office shenanigans! I have already gobbled the Virginia-shaped chocolate!
posted by Liesl at 12:51 PM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

Any final roundup on how we did, Julen?
posted by easily confused at 2:48 AM on January 30, 2015 [2 favorites]

I was hoping to post the final stats after everything was buttoned up, but I'll go ahead and do it now!

399 is the number of participants
392 is the number of participants who told us "Lo, a gift has arrived."
4 is the number of participants who probably got their gift, but have not confirmed it. *
2 is the number of participants from who we have not heard that their re-gift or second chance gift has arrived.
1 is the number of participants who have never responded to an email we've sent.

30 is the number of second chance volunteers.
9 is the number of second chance volunteers used.

*Tracking says yes; emails are unanswered; we're being insouciant about it.

I want to thank everyone who makes this a fun annual event, and particularly arcticseal and phunniemee who have been awesome co-administrators/quonselves/facilitators/butt-kickers/mefites this year. I too often get an outsize portion of the credit, because I'm the one yammering on in a long-winded fashion but they are awesome and fantastic and deserve all the praise.
posted by julen at 8:55 AM on February 3, 2015 [26 favorites]

Hate to nitpick, but you forgot one stat:
3 is the number of awesome Quonsmas elves
posted by easily confused at 2:06 PM on February 5, 2015 [10 favorites]

And 10 is how fun (on a scale of 1-10) this thread has been.

julen, arcticseal, and phunniemee, this was a great success yet again and you've made a lot of people happy! Thank you for all your energy, hard work, and good cheer.
posted by mochapickle at 2:23 PM on February 5, 2015 [10 favorites]