MetaTalk Love-In No.2 October 29, 2014 9:23 AM Subscribe

If you're in the Northern Hemisphere, you might have a dim, grey day like we have here in London, and need a little sunshine in your life. Remember this post? Lets do that again! Come share your awesome!

Gather round the fire (someone throw some more grar on it) and lets share life events and achievements, large and small, and pass around the hugs and high-fives.

posted by greenish to MetaFilter-Related at 9:23 AM (172 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

I managed to finally get my Japanese driver's license today after a comical-if-it-hadn't-been-so-hellish span of five years, in which I had to get the record of my license application from the state of Illinois, then, having that, I was told I would need to get proof of my original passport application, which ended up involving FOIA. But now I have it, so there's that.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:45 AM on October 29, 2014 [8 favorites]

It looks like I'm actually going to finish this comic script in time for my deadline this Friday. Which is excellent, because I'll be in Philly all weekend and in DC for World Fantasy most of the next week.

Which reminds me: ANYONE ELSE GONNA BE AT WORLD FANTASY? :O
posted by Narrative Priorities at 9:49 AM on October 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

Which reminds me: ANYONE ELSE GONNA BE AT WORLD FANTASY? :O

NO BUT many many wonderful MeFites are in DC all the time! Call a meetup! It will be awesome!
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:58 AM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

I started writing again after a year or so sloth-hiatus and just had a pitch accepted, which feels wonderful and encouraging. Writing is hard.

NP! Call a DC meetup call a DC meetup!!!!!!!
posted by troika at 10:00 AM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

2 years, 5 months, 15 days, but who's counting?
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 10:00 AM on October 29, 2014 [55 favorites]

YAY - we are, BozoBurgerBonanza, nice one!
posted by greenish at 10:12 AM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

I had an essay published this week: Feminism Club. That was a nice thing in the midst of general life yuckiness.
posted by mothershock at 10:38 AM on October 29, 2014 [16 favorites]

I have successfully continued my 4 year long trend of not having stabbed any coworkers with a fork.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:40 AM on October 29, 2014 [49 favorites]

I imagine a sign above your desk that says 'It's been ___ days since poffin boffin stabbed any coworkers with a fork'.

Note: I originally wrote "...stabbed anyone..." but then realized that isn't what you wrote.
posted by Gorgik at 10:44 AM on October 29, 2014 [8 favorites]

the sign actually says STABBING PEOPLE IS WRONG
posted by poffin boffin at 10:45 AM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

Meanwhile spoon-bludgeonings continue apace.
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:48 AM on October 29, 2014 [20 favorites]

Yes, there is a curious omission of other flatware in that statement.
posted by LionIndex at 10:51 AM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

Fab work with deadlines and peacefulness and pitches and publishing and bureaucracy and personal awesomeness, everyone!

Achievement: after several failed attempts, this summer I finally worked off the 40 pounds or so to bring myself down from 'obese/overweight' to 'healthy'.

Life event: after _muttermutter years of singledom I met an amazing person completely out of the blue a few months ago and we totally hit it off and it's getting serious and oh my god you guys she just makes me the most happy I've been in so so long.
posted by chrismear at 10:52 AM on October 29, 2014 [35 favorites]

chrismear: I met an amazing person completely out of the blue

Technically it was out of the white/orange, depending on which theme you're using for IRL ;)

*happy sighs*
posted by greenish at 11:06 AM on October 29, 2014 [8 favorites]

Last month I had a blog article on the relationship between intersex and trans communities picked up by the Transadvocate, which was cool.

And yesterday, my kid turned 21. I have successfully raised a child to adulthood! She makes a cool adult, too. I feel like I should receive a reward chest or something for that.
posted by DrMew at 11:20 AM on October 29, 2014 [20 favorites]

It's a sad kind of happy, but: this weekend, I was the one to have the strength to walk away from a dating situation that wasn't making me happy rather than clinging to hope that things would change. (Yep, Object D'Schmoop gradually turned into Object D'Schmuck.) It hurt, but...it's a big step for me.

And as for the more happy kind of happy - the day after that happened, I became a godmother to this li'l bitty girl. And I apparently am infant valium because both times they gave her to me to hold, she completely zonked out within two and a half minutes.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:26 AM on October 29, 2014 [19 favorites]

poffin boffin: the sign actually says STABBING PEOPLE IS WRONG

I imagine a revised version of this t-shirt design, with an improved message.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:27 AM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Ha, in the last thread I posted about a new job I'd gotten. I've been pulling 10-12 hour days for the last little bit in order to finish a project that with good planning on my part would have been done by now, BUT I have also managed to take on a lot more responsibility here and I think I'm basically doing ok.

I have a review in three weeks. Hopefully this godforsaken project will be done and I can point to it and say "hey look, I rallied!"
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:45 AM on October 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

1 year, 201 days and 14 hours since I last partook of Demon ~~Rum~~Vodka, the Beverage Of Choice For The Sneaky Acoholic™.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:46 AM on October 29, 2014 [38 favorites]

I managed to not die last night when I suddenly lost my balance and found my hands on the floor on one side of a 3-foot-tall metal rabbit exercise pen, and my feet on the other! (I am less than six feet tall.)

But my spouse clearly thought I was an idiot when he had to come rescue me.

Also, ow.

Note to self: just open the damn pen next time.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 11:46 AM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

Oh, another fun observation on a tangent -

People, if you ever get a chance to be present when someone gives a toddler cotton candy for the first time, I highly recommend it. It's fascinating to watch them process the experience.

(The restaurant we celebrated at after the baptism brought out a big cone of cotton candy for each table as an after-dinner treat, and we pulled off a piece of it for one of the two-year-olds. She'd never had cotton candy before, and she watched us all eat it like, "wait, y'all are saying I should be eating cotton balls now? Y'all gone crazy?" But then when she finally put it in her mouth and tasted it her expression was a total "my god it's full of stars" kind of moment.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:50 AM on October 29, 2014 [11 favorites]

This month marks my millionth word of published fiction in 2014. End of October is also the six month mark of my career as a full time fiction writer.

If you think you can write, please do. There's never been a better time to be a writer. You will love it.
posted by Sternmeyer at 12:01 PM on October 29, 2014 [17 favorites]

October has been a pretty thoroughly weighty and craptacular month. Many nights when we turn out the lights I turn to Mrs. Plinth and say, "survived another day," to which she responds, "but they'll likely kill us in the morning."

On the good side, I'm joining my daughter in the cast of the local production of The Nutcracker. She is cast as a Holly Tree (a new role in this year's production). I am cast as a PARTY ADULT.
posted by plinth at 12:10 PM on October 29, 2014 [21 favorites]

About 7 months ago I packed up and drove from Maine to California for my first post-university job. I'm still working on making friends, but I have a wonderful boyfriend (this is kinda my first real relationship) and he got to meet my parents this past week.

Also I was in a 3 car accident on the freeway last night and both myself and my car (as well as the other 2 cars) emerged unscathed. I was really lucky...
posted by Strass at 12:10 PM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

I made cookies! They were terrible, but I made them - I broke out a stand-mixer we got for our wedding six years ago but had never used, followed the recipe, and ha! I have baked!

They were pumpkin cookies with cranberries and walnuts. The batter was awesome! When baked, they were pretty bland, and cranberry seeds get grainy and hard when cooked, so I was concerned some sand somehow got into the batter, our kid hated them. On the other hand, they were this lovely, deep orange color from the canned pumpkin, and had the consistency of a super-moist cake with just the barest of crust, your teeth saaaaaank into them.

Next time, I'll use craisins instead of fresh (because who can seed six dozen cranberries???), and replace some of the white sugar with brown sugar, and double the spices and vanilla. I can do that because I'm now an experienced baker of pumpkin cookies.

I have discovered that raw cranberries are surprisingly awesome to snack on, and they grow local. My breakfast was leftover cranberries and walnuts.
posted by Slap*Happy at 12:14 PM on October 29, 2014 [10 favorites]

you might have a dim, grey day
Well, in my neighborhood (San Luis Obispo, Coastal California midway 'tween L.A.and S.F.), it's all blue skies... too much blue skies, in fact. You may have heard about the California Drought and how recent rains in the North and South have not-quite-broken it, but they completely missed us in the middle (where much of America's veggies are grown). Locally, we're on Consecutive Day #188 without measurable rain according to one guy who keeps track, which is the second longest dry spell on record (2004 saw just over 200 days). But it doesn't look like we'll beat that record because a storm is looming off the coast that is expected to hit this area in just over 48 hours... yes, Halloween Day afternoon and evening. Right at Trick-or-Treating time. So many soggy Rocket Raccoons and Elsas from 'Frozen'... or so few - I suspect I'll have a lot more leftover Fun Size KitKats this year.

In other issues, I don't have, nor I intend to get a "Stabby McKnife" tshirt, but I'm holding out hope that this shirt makes its goal and goes into production, because if you're going to stab people (or gators), don't use a fork, use a sword of righteousness.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:17 PM on October 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

I wrote a play 20 years ago about the Kishinev pogrom that has never been produced, because when I wrote it I had unrealistic ideas about what can be done onstage. It's probably three and a half hours long, has maybe 50 characters with speaking parts (and dozens of extras), is probably 20 percent Yiddish, and a big part of its story is about the conflict between hasidim and misnaggidim in Eastern Europe. I expected it is just one of those things you right and nothing ever happens with it, and then, out of the blue, a few months ago, it started circulating in New York, for reasons I still don't completely understand. A theater will be doing a reading of it in December, with the goal of partnering with other theaters for a production, and I'm flying out for it.

I still can't imagine the play will ever be produced, but I get to hear it aloud for the first time ever, 20 years after written, and get a nice trip to New York out of it. And it's another reminded that when you do something because you want to, and because you care about it, and you do it as well as you can, that effort is never entirely in vain.
posted by maxsparber at 12:18 PM on October 29, 2014 [22 favorites]

Hmm. I'd actually like to share an achievement that all you people did.

In therapy today, we were talking about things, and I got to articulate this sentiment: MetaFilter has changed me for the better. I have learned so very, very much--and that's all on you lot for being patient and knowledgeable. Congratulations, MeFi.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:23 PM on October 29, 2014 [34 favorites]

We got married on Saturday! It was a long time coming and we seriously considered (several times) canceling the whole thing and eloping, but it all ended up being wonderful and working out just as we had hoped.

We tried to avoid gifts, but our friends are creative(ly obnoxious) and all chipped in to get us... a whole, 11 lb serrano ham. So we are going to have to have a party soon, I think.
posted by backseatpilot at 12:27 PM on October 29, 2014 [44 favorites]

you mean a party of two where you eat eleven pounds of heaven right?

which reminds me I still have some Iberico in the fridge... so tempted...
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:30 PM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

My grandmother, direct or indirect subject of about 30% of my Ask Me questions, great lover of many of the jokes found in the "Dirty Jokes for Grandma" thread, and world's best roommate, passed away unexpectedly on Sunday. It doesn't really have anything to do with Metafilter, I just feel terrible.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 12:34 PM on October 29, 2014 [15 favorites]

Snarl Furillo, I am very sorry for your loss.
posted by chrismear at 12:46 PM on October 29, 2014 [11 favorites]

After the Katz's thread, thomas j wise got in touch with me and we figured out that we are probably related! Turns out that my great grandfather, Morris Kurlander (arrived in the US as Meische Kurlander) was from what is now Wizna, Poland - apparently the same part of Poland that thomas j wise's Kurlander relatives are from. So I spent the morning looking at family history and Ellis Island records, and now I know about a whole new branch of the family!
posted by ChuraChura at 12:50 PM on October 29, 2014 [8 favorites]

A theater will be doing a reading of it in December, with the goal of partnering with other theaters for a production, and I'm flying out for it.

omg is it folksbiene?
posted by poffin boffin at 12:51 PM on October 29, 2014

After four years of overthinking and research and writing anguish, I finally submitted my PhD dissertation last month. It's about the MetaFilter community, which is the very thing that kept me going through it all. Also, I have a full time job now, so I can actually settle into the UK for reals. Like, with a future and a paycheck and everything (first paycheck on Friday!). It feels good, and it's only been the last few days that I've really let it sink in.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:51 PM on October 29, 2014 [60 favorites]

awww, hugs to Snarl.
.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:52 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have a can of dill pickle flavored peanuts, that I've been sharing with my coworkers. They're delicious.
posted by jonmc at 12:52 PM on October 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

I went to hair school and then passed written and practical state board exams and earned my NY cosmetology license. I'm 41. My left shoulder really hurts, but I feel kind of accomplished. However, despite the small class sizes and that I've met the school's founder (a British celebrity stylist with a big salon in Manhattan) on multiple occasions, I'm positive he couldn't pick me out of a lineup. That's less thrilling.
posted by houseofdanie at 12:53 PM on October 29, 2014 [9 favorites]

I started a new job this month, where I am not working any harder or better than at the old one, but here it is noticed, and appreciated, and I had forgotten how wonderful that feels.

Also in the last thread I was 6 weeks in to my move to Paris, I'm still here, and I think it's permanent!
posted by ellieBOA at 12:57 PM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

omg is it folksbiene?

No -- Private Theater.

I'd love to see an entirely Yiddish version of this play. Who knows? You never know.
posted by maxsparber at 12:59 PM on October 29, 2014

Congratulations iamkimiam!
posted by ellieBOA at 1:00 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

On the good side, I'm joining my daughter in the cast of the local production of The Nutcracker. She is cast as a Holly Tree (a new role in this year's production). I am cast as a PARTY ADULT.

The year my old company got new costumes for the PARTY ADULTS they used kids' parents as they had for most years. The women's bodices were not attached to the skirts so as to make future temporary alterations easier.

Cut to dress rehearsal next year, where all of us in the professional level were covering the PARTY ADULT parts. Picture please, a bunch of fairly flat chested dancers in bodices originally modeled on your normal North Dallas womanly body type (read: TITS). Grousing about this in the dressing room lead to a friendly competition to see who could fake the most cleavage.

By the end of the First Act Tchaikovsky PARTY ADULT Conga Line, we all had tube socks, spare tights or leg warmers flapping out the bottoms of our bodices. Problem solved for opening night by judicial use of flesh colored tube tops to hold the damn padding in place.

In the realm of good news, Lil' Peanut is scheduled to become a big sister at the end of January. Peanuttier has decided of late that she likes kicking the shit out of my bladder. At some point, the kegels, they do nothing.
posted by romakimmy at 1:03 PM on October 29, 2014 [10 favorites]

Snarl, I'm so sorry. It's never the right time to lose your grandma.
posted by houseofdanie at 1:04 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have successfully continued my 4 year long trend of not having stabbed any coworkers with a fork.

After nearly 3 years at my job my role is changing from most shit-on employee to probably-won't-be-shit-on-often employee. We're hiring a new shit-upon. She starts Monday.

In prep for this I was told by Annoying Coworker that I needed to make signs for the kitchen to remind people to put their dishes in the sink and to close the fridge door so that new shit-upon won't have to be that guy. This is stupid and passive aggressive so I don't make any signs. I get reminded about it daily for 2 weeks, did you make the signs, why haven't you made the signs, you need to make the signs, so OK whatever, I'll make the stupid signs.

So I draw up a little sign with a scared dinosaur about to get pummeled by an asteroid made out of forks that says "FACT: SINK DISHES KILLED THE DINOSAURS" and put it up over the sink. Not more than 10 minutes later Annoying Coworker writes "*dishes need to be put in the dishwasher" on it because people won't "get" the sign.

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying here is that my biggest achievement is that I haven't murdered her yet.
posted by phunniemee at 1:10 PM on October 29, 2014 [29 favorites]

1. After a couple of months of figuring out how to crochet, including the production of The Woolen Immensity that now engulfs the couch, I have figured out how to make exactly what I wanted to make. *evil laugh*

2. The Sun Ra album I did the cover for is coming out this month. Yay.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:10 PM on October 29, 2014 [10 favorites]

I upgraded my MacPro to Yosemite OS X and promptly lost almost all wifi functionality. Due to MetaFilter, I swear, I promptly found a forum of knowledgeable people and read all the thread comments and links, then methodically worked my way through proposed fixes. And a day and a half after I started doing that, it is FIXED.

Still tracking the forum thread because I am a bad person and schadenfreude and also I blame MetaFilter's influence on me.
posted by bearwife at 1:12 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

I also have not stabbed any co-workers but shit is REAL touch and go right now so by the time you read this that may no longer be accurate and therefore we will not count it.

I did also forget that I found a secret cabinet in our house that is the perfect size to hide a sewing machine. SCORE.

Also forgot album cover
posted by louche mustachio at 1:13 PM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

My friend came over for a productivity date today, during which I got 3/4 of the way through formatting my first zine! It's an account of my month of training to be a Certified Nursing Assistant, as told through a series of letters to my late favorite college professor reflecting on each day. You can read a representative letter in this thread.

I want to put this up in projects before I debut it at Philly Zine Fest next week: stay tuned for a post there!

A different friend also got back to me with sketches for the comic zine we're making together (based on a dream I had) and they look great. I'll probably be able to have that out for zinefest too.
posted by ActionPopulated at 1:13 PM on October 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

We just completed an adoption for a little girl whom we have been fostering for two and a half years. She came to us when she was one month old from a volatile life situation, just a tiny little thing. (She's still little for her age, but we call her "small but mighty"as she's an unstoppable little whirlwind.) The court process has been one of the hardest things I've ever done, but the final time before the judge was one of the most amazing moments of my life. It was so surreal that every once in awhile I have to pinch myself and double check the adoption papers.
posted by SpacemanStix at 1:30 PM on October 29, 2014 [56 favorites]

Oh I like this Northern Hemisphere thing. It's been soo gloomy (again).

Hrm...

My daughter is one of four winners of this year's Dutch Royal Award for Modern Painting (MartinW and the other Dutch members have been making posts about entirely other stuff. Sigh. Ohwell). It's the first time the phrase "aren't you proud" makes some sense to me. That prize totally made my October (to be frank, though, on 10 October when the prize was announced I was still in Tel Aviv, which isn't quite as northern and grey as here).
What do I do, then...well, I now (just now, like, right now, this minute) decided to skip all of my usual share of supervisions at the university until next spring, and to concentrate finishing my 80%-done, but shelved-due-to-other-things book project. Live's too short and all that. Yay freedom.
posted by Namlit at 1:34 PM on October 29, 2014 [9 favorites]

I managed to move some furniture around so the maintenance guys could fix my AC unit yesterday. Does that count?
posted by SisterHavana at 1:43 PM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

Oh I forgot: I made a pretty sweet jack-o-lantern.
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:44 PM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

Well, in a week this election will be OVER and I won't have to phone bank, walk precincts, talk to crappy reporters, talk down my anxious colleagues, or wonder what the results will be (with the caveat that vote counts always take longer than I want them to.) I'm really excited about that!
posted by gingerbeer at 1:59 PM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

I was going to say exactly the same thing, gingerbeer. A week from today I'm going to be upset, because we're going to have lost the election that I threw my heart and soul and pretty much all of my free time into. But it's going to be over, and I'm going to have free time. And at least I'll know that it wasn't my fault.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 2:02 PM on October 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

This asshole Republican running against one of our endorsed candidates is pulling some late, dirty mail over transgender kids, but she did it using a stock photo (here) so I'm getting to play around with meme-ing some hit pieces that use the same graphics. Dunno if we'll run 'em officially, but if anyone else wants to get in on the fun, you can email me and I'll send you a copy of the evil mailer from the other side and you can play along at home. (I haven't ponied up for the stock photo yet, otherwise I'd offer to send that along too.)
posted by klangklangston at 2:05 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Greenish, you are a good dude and I appreciate what you're doing here.
posted by boo_radley at 2:12 PM on October 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

I like a photo of myself - where half my face isn't covered up - for the first time in my life. I'm 61.

And thanks to whoever posted that youtube link here of how to pose for photos.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 2:38 PM on October 29, 2014 [8 favorites]

After many months of practice I was recently able to play and sing the song Beeswing for my guitar teacher all the way through without stopping.
posted by Daily Alice at 2:41 PM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Things I Have Done Lately: I finished my son's Halloween costume so he can trick-or-treat as a Ghostbuster. Thank goodness for duct tape and zip ties! I palmed off a surprise elk haggis onto an unsuspecting friend, claiming that it would remind her of her time in Scotland. I discovered that one of our rescued kittens is not, in fact, a girl, and his new name is Tank because he rumbles who'sapurringkitten,awwww and he's unstoppable. That's not a bad start to the week. Achievable happiness!
posted by MonkeyToes at 2:42 PM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

I have successfully tested all the scripts and spreadsheets for secret quonsar, and we're ready to go when November rolls around.
posted by julen at 3:12 PM on October 29, 2014 [13 favorites]

I got my dream job a week and a half ago which means I will be downtown and free to probably go goat-frogging.
posted by Uncle at 3:23 PM on October 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

I may or may not have gotten a Blank check to produce a one -off show and I'm trying to decide if I should base it around Mefi's Own Sonascope....
posted by The Whelk at 3:54 PM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

(also I was paid cash money recently to watch a movie and talk about it, the first time I thought "this would make a good metafilter post ...no it would make a good SALABLE ARTICLE." )
posted by The Whelk at 3:55 PM on October 29, 2014 [11 favorites]

I'm trying to decide if I should base it around Mefi's Own Sonascope....

...or if sonascope should write it based around Mefi's Own sonascope.

I mean seriously how is this even a question
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:00 PM on October 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

He has a one man show! I was wondering if he could be compelled to perform a segment. Ah! so much to think about, I have a bored producer who is kind of up for anything so who knows. There's also MaxDabers gay musical I kinda want to see on stage.... And my my own stuff of course.

Everything is coming up Milhouse carrer-wise these days!
posted by The Whelk at 4:04 PM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

I passed my 3rd kidney stone a few weeks ago followed by oral surgery to remove 5 teeth.
posted by KogeLiz at 4:09 PM on October 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

I'm cleared to return to walking for exercise again after the ankle I sprained at the ACL Festival earlier this month. Life is good!
posted by immlass at 4:15 PM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

My husband's rib is fractured. This might not seem at all good, but!—a known rib fracture with a treatment plan is far better than scary, unexplained chest pain in the middle of the night, and I'm grateful for small blessings.

A photo I took got featured on the blog of my state's Office of Travel and Tourism today. That was a fun surprise.

There is a beautiful dog laying against me on the couch. She is sweet and warm and lovely.
posted by cellar door at 4:17 PM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

This past weekend a good friend of mine introduced me to her friends, a nice American couple who were returning to Seattle in a month, and we all spent a relaxing afternoon together at my friend's place. It was the first time in at least a year, maybe two? that I'd spoken only in English for such a long stretch and it was nice to know that I can still manage to do so. Writing and speaking are such different beasts!
posted by misozaki at 4:18 PM on October 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

Mrs. Penguin and I spent a day digging up our front yard to make this walkway. We're pretty pleased with ourselves, if a little tired from hauling 2000 pounds of sand to the house from Lowes.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 4:27 PM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

I'm getting a Multiple Sleep Latency Test next Tuesday and the specialist I'm seeing is really helpful and takes me seriously, so I might be able to stop feeling so exhausted I want to die all the time.
posted by NoraReed at 4:38 PM on October 29, 2014 [7 favorites]

I am two minor projects away from having replaced\repaired\repainted pretty much everything make my house sellable. The Bluegrass band from this question last year just headlined at the Fox Theater, and is about to head into the studio for an EP.
posted by Gygesringtone at 4:42 PM on October 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

I am cast in a play which is opening in 2 weeks! And right when it opens, I start rehearsal for another play I'm cast in! Plus, I've been admitted to a workshop I've been longing to be in for a year!
posted by jasper411 at 4:50 PM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

... scary, unexplained chest pain in the middle of the night ...

Does that mean no known trauma? He broke his rib by coughing??
posted by Bruce H. at 5:06 PM on October 29, 2014

Yup. (He's been doing a lot of coughing.) Apparently this is a thing that happens.
posted by cellar door at 5:18 PM on October 29, 2014

I have moved successfully to a new country (Denmark). I can tell I am settled in because it is 1 am and I do not want to sleep.

I have also purchased toilet paper, and this evening cooked a massively tasty lamb chop with persimmons.

In the last eighteen months metafilter has helped me: sell my own car; aid Mr. Nat in buying a car; eat at good places in (at least) Tempe, Aspen, Denver, Traverse City, and the UP; ship my things overseas (although they haven't arrived, so, uh..).. ; stay at hotels in Copenhagen and West Virginia, and do fun things in three road trips across Ohio and Michigan; and, importantly, cut off toxic harasser from my past.

Yes, life is good. But I'm still pretty proud I managed to buy toilet paper. Also drain cleaner.
posted by nat at 5:28 PM on October 29, 2014 [10 favorites]

Got a really nice and unexpected compliment today about the photography I do in the gardens where I work from someone who is a well known professional photographer specializing in gardens and landscapes.

I also got free bacon for breakfast.

I just finished up planting around 3,000 bulbs and I can't wait for spring.
posted by sciencegeek at 5:40 PM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

We are hosting an exchange student from Brazil this year. We kind of fell into host parenting. We'd originally been contacted practically out of the blue when they were looking for a temporary placement for our student and agreed to take him in for 4-6 weeks while they tried to find a permanent placement for him. Well, you know...kids are kind of like puppies that don't shit on your rug, and they look at you with their big brown eyes and how can you send them back to the shelter when they really need a "forever" home (or at least a 10-month home)? So now I am navigating the waters of having two 16-year-olds in the house. It's been a great and strangely validating experience so far. (A teenager who's GRATEFUL for what you do for them? SHOCKING!)

(If this sounds like the sort of transformative experience YOU need in your life--and you live on the East Coast, have a spare room in your home and enough spare money in your wallet to feed a teenager 3 squares a day--drop me a me-mail, there's a kid in the regional network who's still in a temp placement who needs to find a permanent placement, like, yesterday).
posted by drlith at 5:43 PM on October 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

Big creative project is going well. And, I've got a baby. So, uh, yeah!
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:47 PM on October 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

Finished writing my dissertation this week (fucking finally), after very nearly giving up on it about six months ago. It's coming up on my one year anniversary on hormones (and omg! you guys! growing tits is awesome!). Now trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do for a living. This year has been a wild fucking ride.
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:24 PM on October 29, 2014 [17 favorites]

Today I sang some Dowland songs in harmony with a friend who was having some angst, and we were both cheered up by it.

This weekend I have a house full of splendid goths and we're going to ALL the halloween parties.
posted by Pallas Athena at 6:46 PM on October 29, 2014 [8 favorites]

Yesterday, at the 118th attempt, I finally wrote an FPP on MetaFilter that I'm happy with. Today, I unexpectedly went to visit a dear friend from the 90s, and we reminisced like mad. Tomorrow, I'll...
posted by Wordshore at 6:52 PM on October 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

My son is getting married Saturday in my back yard. I have a list of the twenty plus things I have to do every day and today I not only did all of Wednesday's list, but three of Thursday's, too. And got some fabulous ideas for gifts from the green. Bring it!
posted by raisingsand at 7:15 PM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

Well, my daughter is now 5 1/2 and next week will be the 4th anniversary of her cancer diagnosis and big old brain surgery. She's doing fantastic, just started kindergarten, super social and outgoing and pretty much up to speed in all her motor skills, including those needed for soccer and making faces.

I've got PTSD, but what the hell.
posted by Rumple at 7:24 PM on October 29, 2014 [20 favorites]

Two weeks ago, my back went out (aggravated by a work thing [I'm a nurse, there are many possibilities for back aggravation]). Today, I was able to wash a dish! TOMORROW, LAUNDRY.
posted by shiny blue object at 7:30 PM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

The nuts in question are here. I got them in a shop on 14th Street, however. They're great but they cry out for beer.
posted by jonmc at 7:50 PM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

I moved! The apartment hunt ended up being a huge pain in the ass, and I didn't end up rooming with the friend mentioned in that AskMe, but instead I'm now in a room in an enormous 3BR/3BA in a really nice part of town.

Narrative Priorities, absolutely do schedule a meetup! Would be great to see you again.
posted by capricorn at 8:05 PM on October 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

I joined Metafilter so I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
posted by Marmaduke Hammerhead at 8:16 PM on October 29, 2014 [9 favorites]

I started a new job this month, where I am not working any harder or better than at the old one, but here it is noticed, and appreciated, and I had forgotten how wonderful that feels.

Same here. After the last two years spent at a work environment so toxic it permeated every aspect of my life, I've been at my new job for just over a month and it's so, so nice to be in a non-toxic environment. I love my job, I enjoy going into work, I feel like I'm making a contribution. Having the constant cloud of mild job-related depression and anxiety lifted has made such a difference in my life. I'm spending more times with friends, I'm reading books again, I'm planning trips. I'm happy.

(kind of related tweet that I love)
posted by triggerfinger at 8:16 PM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

Mr. Kitty and I had our wedding anniversary this week. Nothing crazy - but he restrung my pearls after our darling puppy destroyed them on a chewing spree this summer (and thank for she didn't swallow any - poop pearls are a less than lovely necklace)
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 8:26 PM on October 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

Due to a lot of personal trauma and upheaval, I had to withdraw from my Doctor of Ministry program five years ago. Two years ago, when things calmed down, I petitioned for re-admittance, which was granted. On October 2nd, I passed my defense, so it's Doctor Pater Aletheias now. At this point, it's less of a party than a deep sigh of relief, but a welcome bit of good news nonetheless.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 8:49 PM on October 29, 2014 [46 favorites]

I just want to say that reading this thread is really good for me. In the last reorganization (end of August; I think it was two months ago yesterday) at the place I had worked for 10 years, I lost my job and find myself trying to figure out what is next. At times, I feel very positive, optimistic and happy about my prospects, glad to be away from the culture that had become toxic to me over the years, and the gift of time I have right now; at other times I feel like a pretty worthless human being that no one wants.

So reading about the great things other Mefites are up to is really nice.

Congrats Pater Aletheias - that's a huge achievement.
posted by nubs at 9:42 PM on October 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

i finished up the final draft of my second master's thesis, i presented at harvard (the presentation didn't go well, tho), i will present in toronto soon, i had really nice sex and an okay date with a handsome boy after a long dry spell,
posted by PinkMoose at 10:22 PM on October 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

I feel like PinkMoose is leaving me hanging. :/
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:28 PM on October 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

Oh yes - the election being over in less than a week means that there will be no more awful political attack ads on TV and radio!
posted by SisterHavana at 11:38 PM on October 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

I found a LIFEHACK regarding awful political ads!! They had the closed captioning on the TV at the gay bar a few weeks ago and it malfunctioned so for several commercials it was stuck saying "ONLY AT PANERA BREAD", and the next ads were political ones, so it was the angry rhetorical stuff and the cut to Udall standing there and the whole time it was subtitled with that and it really improved the message overall. I highly recommend just appending "ONLY AT PANERA BREAD" to every political ad you see.
posted by NoraReed at 12:14 AM on October 30, 2014 [8 favorites]

Snarl Furillo: "I just feel terrible."

I'm so very sorry to hear that. Please accept my deepest sympathies.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 2:33 AM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

Mr Too-Ticky had a cerebral hemorrhage three weeks ago. I'm rather proud of how I brought him to hospital, instead of panicking, within two and a half hours of the very first symptoms ("my foot is sleeping".) We were on a trip at the time, so I had to find my way in an unknown city too.
The actions I took resulted in a much better prognosis for his recovery. He is, in fact, showing great progress. And for that, I'm also freaking proud of him.

Yesterday I drove several hours to go and buy him a sidecar that he found on the internet and really liked. Friends will attach it to one of his motorbikes and we will be able to ride together. I'm looking forward to learning how to ride a sidecar combo.

Oh and I made him a nice big plush surrogate cat to overcome the weeks of involuntary catlessness at the rehab centre. I made it from a fake fur jacket I found at a charity shop and it turned out well.
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:54 AM on October 30, 2014 [17 favorites]

Thanks to not being poor, I continue to be able to buy enough good quality wine to adequately numb the bleak, relentless days of disappointment, loneliness and self-loathing. Unlike the shattered remnants of my hopes and dreams, this is no small thing.
posted by Decani at 4:04 AM on October 30, 2014 [10 favorites]

I finished my MA dissertation! (It's shite, but it's done.)
I bought a house! (It's the size of a litter tray, but it's mine.)
I survived a year that included back surgery, marriage breakdown, redundancy, bereavement and family drama, and came out the other side. So now I know I'm A Person Who Can Survive Shit. That feels good.

Hugs and high-fives all round guys, and cheers to greenish for brightening another grey UK morning.
posted by billiebee at 6:07 AM on October 30, 2014 [27 favorites]

Billiebee! So glad to see you here again... and you still rock!
posted by Too-Ticky at 6:11 AM on October 30, 2014

I have stuck with my guitar lessons this year and have written 3 original songs so far that I'm kinda proud of.

Also, I got promoted at work and am now running my own architectural studio and managing clients and staff. I was able to hire three really great recent graduates and they are all working out great. I now have projects in all corners of the US, but traveling has surprisingly lightened up.

Mrs. Benway was successfully cleared from a systemic lupus flare up and has been doing great.

It's been a pretty good year so far...
posted by Benway at 6:23 AM on October 30, 2014 [6 favorites]

I started running again after a six-month break (enjoying it); I also created an FPP that got 290 favorites -- this is a kick for me. Finally: got to see Dennis Christopher and Paul Dooley at a "Breaking Away" screening with a Q&A afterwards and it was just buckets of fun.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 6:49 AM on October 30, 2014 [5 favorites]

I blew a (low-stakes, except in my head) audition on Tuesday night, but managed to thank the people who worked with me and get out of the place without crying, and I have so far not descended into "see, you blew it because you're NOT GOOD ENOUGH" mental things. Because for once, I actually believe that I am good enough. I just happened to blow that one. It happens. The next one will be better.

Also, I had a whole conversation with a stranger last night where they asked me about myself and stuff and I didn't get tongue-tied or stammer or stare blankly at them in dawning horror as I realized I hadn't heard what they'd said, not even once.

Little things, yo.
posted by Hold your seahorses at 6:49 AM on October 30, 2014 [11 favorites]

I have been taking an anti-anxiety med for three months now and I feel better than I have in so many years. Not constantly worrying about everything is freakin amazing!
And after being sick three times this year for a month each time, not puking daily is also freakin amazing!
And, and, as always this place is the best place.
posted by shmurley at 8:05 AM on October 30, 2014 [8 favorites]

Snarl, I am so sorry.

Me and some of the ladies of the Vermont Library Association tabled at the first annual VT ComicCon and were the sponsor for one of the special guests MrMcfeely (David Newell) from Mister Rogers Neighborhood. He was a peach. We met a lot of nice people and even though it was a bit of a hassle getting it all taken care of it was so so worth it and helped me get out of a "not enough sunlight" funk. Some photos of people's costumes (including mine).
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:25 AM on October 30, 2014 [9 favorites]

Just drove cross-country with most of my belongings in a hatchback, and didn't get robbed, murdered, or worse, despite the dire predictions of my nearest and dearest re: a woman traveling such a distance alone. And now I am in sitting in a sunny spot on a deck in San Diego, pet-sitting a handsome, yippy little dog who's toning down the barking and being very patient with me. Starting over is such a weighty thing, but I've done it before and for the first time in this process I feel I can do it again.

Many, many thanks to everyone here -- I know that some of that unfamiliar confidence comes from everything I've learned from you over the years.
posted by Iris Gambol at 8:59 AM on October 30, 2014 [12 favorites]

I blew a (low-stakes, except in my head) audition on Tuesday night, but managed to thank the people who worked with me and get out of the place without crying, and I have so far not descended into "see, you blew it because you're NOT GOOD ENOUGH" mental things. Because for once, I actually believe that I am good enough. I just happened to blow that one. It happens. The next one will be better.

I went out for an audition for a really, REALLY good group at the end of August, and I was scared shitless because I really felt like this group was out of my league. My brother, who is also a musician, told me "If you're punching at the right weight, you'll lose about half your fights." In other words, if you're auditioning for things at the right level, you'll fail half of them at least. (Adjust statistics as necessary for different disciplines; this was for a choral group, not like casting a single role or something.) If you ace every audition you go out for, you're selling yourself short, and every time you blow an audition -- whether through mistakes that you make, or because you're just not right for the gig -- you're practicing your "auditioning at this level" skills. It fundamentally changed my perspective about auditions.
posted by KathrynT at 9:09 AM on October 30, 2014 [16 favorites]

Oh, and one more thing! Another user memailed me a few weeks ago asking some follow-up questions about an AskMe I wrote a few years ago. I noticed we had other things in common from our posting histories, memailed back about that, we kept on writing, and now it looks like we might be collaborating on the writing project I've been dreaming about for a good four years.

That other user you've always admired and wanted to ask something to? Take a minute today to memail them. You have nothing to lose and possibly a hell of a lot to gain.
posted by ActionPopulated at 9:12 AM on October 30, 2014 [7 favorites]

I finished my MA dissertation! (It's shite, but it's done.)

You know what they say: you start off wanting to write the most impressive dissertation in the history of your discipline, and you end up wanting to write the dumbest thing that could possibly pass.

The best dissertation is a completed dissertation. Congrats!
posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:24 AM on October 30, 2014 [5 favorites]

Well, it's cold, bleak, and rainy in Seattle, my marriage is struggling, I am starting to regret having children, and I am completely overwhelmed at work (thanks Obama! literally, and only partly sarcastic) but yesterday I Talked to My Doctor™ about upping my Lexapro, took a random "me" day off work and plan to spend a fair amount of it in pajamas here on MeFi, the same place I've been for ten years now.

Also, both kids are ninjas for Halloween, as is every single one of their friends, and I have high hopes that running around the neighborhood with a gang of five year old ninjas is as much fun as it sounds.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:26 AM on October 30, 2014 [11 favorites]

Thanks to an AskMe question & some answers by some mefites
(especially quince & PuppetMcSockerson so thank you), I tried a low carb diet (keto but my version that includes plenty of veggies and not all you can swallow cream and bacon and yes I ran this by a physician).
After 5 weeks I am down a size, have no cravings, no side effects (bad breath nor BO), my skin is clearer and my hair shiny. I sleep better, have more energy, and I am exercising. I feel GREAT.
posted by pointystick at 9:48 AM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

The other week my pigs got out and ended up in the storage barn helping themselves to about a half ton of chicken feed. I managed to get them into the pig section of the barn all by my lonesome (Do you have any idea how hard it is to dislodge a pig from a pile of grain?). Fortunately, I'd been meaning to move them in from the pasture for the rainy season regardless. Then on Tuesday I found all of my cows out and halfway across the farm. I managed to herd them all into the barn as well. Again, all by my lonesome. The cows kept ending up in the wrong half of the barn eating a pile of years-old moldy wet hay. Why do they love that hay so much? I don't know. But they do.

Neither of these are great accomplishments, but I'm feeling much better about my ability to manage this farm than when I was so sketched about about my ability to handle animals that I was afraid to take the dogs off leash in our 70-acre hay field. Progress!

Maybe I really can do this crazy thing we've set out to do.

Feel better, Slarty. Good luck with the ninjas.
posted by stet at 9:53 AM on October 30, 2014 [8 favorites]

I'm feeling much better about my ability to manage this farm

As you should. Good work, stet!

Marshmallows. Stale, flavored marshmallows. Pigs love them more than grain. Bring a bag or two so you can toss a trail in front of them. If you can get one interested and moving, the rest will follow out of envy/curiosity.
posted by MonkeyToes at 10:05 AM on October 30, 2014 [5 favorites]

The worst thing was that I didn't have any sweet treats. I was forced to try and lure the pigs out with a bucket full of the pumpkin I'd really been looking forward to eating and the soup I really wanted to have for dinner. My wife made that soup, dammit! It still didn't work. They got distracted under the apple tree and started gorging themselves on green apples. Who does that?

Stupid pigs. I did learn how to make a barrow move, though. On reflection, it was obvious.
posted by stet at 10:19 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

I did learn how to make a barrow move, though.

You did not pick up his back legs, did you?
posted by MonkeyToes at 11:09 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

so much depends
upon

an escaped
barrow

unswayed by
wife-soup

gorging on green
apples.
posted by cellar door at 11:23 AM on October 30, 2014 [7 favorites]

More a sign of "potential good":

In June I started a temp gig at a particular company, as a sort of "we'll get you to fill in while we conduct the search for the more permanent person." It's a company I'd temped for before in February, and they actually asked for me back by name (and made no bones about the fact that they basically think the sun shines out of my ass).

After two weeks, I applied for the position I was filling in for - and then heard nothing for a couple months. Then in early August the head of HR personally called me to say "I just wanted to let you know why you hadn't heard from us about this..." there was also, she explained, a lot of internal structure shifting-around going on, and they were trying to get all the powers that be to figure out whether that position, as described, was even going to continue to exist. And it would be another couple months at least while they figured that out. "But I can tell you," she said, "that if it does, that you are an EXTREMELY strong candidate for the job." She also asked if I was okay hanging in as a temp in the meantime. And I figured that if I did, that not only would I keep getting money, but I also had that much more of a chance to impress people, so I said "sure!"

That was August. It is now nearly November. And while I am still a temp, my direct boss has been gradually giving me more and more "we trust you with complex responsibility" duties, I've continued to visibly impress people, I've gotten even more confident that I want to work here, and have identified another "Plan B" future opening if the one I'm doing now doesn't pan out (and am already "temporarily" filling in there too). It's a situation where I almost literally cannot do anything wrong.

(Also: I'm extremely confident my direct boss is a fan; I had an offsite errand last month, and asked him whether he preferred I check in first and THEN go do it, or go do it first before coming in to work. He just gave me a look and said, "you've been splendid about getting things done. I'm not going to mess with success - do it whatever way you want.")
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:27 AM on October 30, 2014 [10 favorites]

Congrats to everyone on your achievements!

Snarl Furillo, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I remember thinking she sounded awesome when you'd post about her.

My life's not too different from usual these days but I'm finally back on my bike after a year of avoiding it for no very good reason. I love biking even though I'm not really great at it. It gives me a whole new awareness of space, circling around and get the big picture instead of being like one of the blind men with the elephant. Every time I solve one mystery--where does that road go? how long does it take to get to the sea?--three more crop up for future rides and it makes me excited for the future.
posted by ferret branca at 11:39 AM on October 30, 2014 [5 favorites]

I had a baby six weeks ago, so now I have an ever-growing chunky baby to snuggle. This is a nice addition to our crazy toddler, who is an explosion of vocabulary these days! Two great kids.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:01 PM on October 30, 2014 [20 favorites]

I'm having a tough time--unemployed, and fighting depression and anxiety. And I'm worried about my relationship. But I'm still in there doing the best I can. And I'm really proud that I made a decision back in May to exercise every day that I can possibly manage it, and I've kept to that. I've lost 10 pounds (kind of a big deal when you're 50 and have PCOS) and my goal is to lose 20 more. I've taken up sewing clothes for myself again and have started a blog--something I've meant to do for years--to show off what I make.
posted by WorkingMyWayHome at 1:18 PM on October 30, 2014 [16 favorites]

I threw lovely birthday parties for my daughter (extended family dinner and friend sleepover, on different nights) despite being sick and having a storm on the night of the slumber party. And I found out that rather than just being the third cold I've had this fall, this is actually a sinus infection, which is fantastic news because you can treat that. (I say from my third day lying on the couch while the room spins.)
posted by Margalo Epps at 3:02 PM on October 30, 2014 [4 favorites]

Close friends are getting married and my new coworkers are swell. Also, tripling your living space while lowering your rent is fantastic.
posted by ersatz at 3:46 PM on October 30, 2014 [6 favorites]

((hugs)) for snarl, too-ticky and anyone else who wants them.

Today, someone in Nigeria emailed me that they would like to solve my financial problems by giving me $650,000.00.

This makes the recent uptake in my freelance income pale in comparison.

A sudden and unexpected change of scenery has me feeling like I have blessedly returned to civilization today.

Much to my shock, the foreseeable future is no longer one in which I cannot leave San Diego county. I am beginning to contemplate moving someplace cheaper, where housing is more affordable.

My headache from yesterday is resolving, the vomiting has stopped and my appetite is returning.

I think it's been a pretty darn good day so far.
posted by Michele in California at 6:01 PM on October 30, 2014 [6 favorites]

I can't help but think those are ideal transferable achievements if there is an uptick in MetaFilter finances and more mods can be hired...

stet is also a librarian....
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 6:45 PM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Not anymore. That ship has unfortunately sailed. No more librarian.
posted by stet at 8:40 PM on October 30, 2014

Librarian-trained farmer? I call myself a librarian and I haven't worked inside a library in nearly a decade.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 8:47 PM on October 30, 2014 [4 favorites]

wife-soup

Hey that was my soup that he fed to the pigs! I felt somehow honored that he regretted having to feed it to the pigs. (Usually he doesn't like my soups that much.) But not as honored as having a "so much depends" poem written about my wife-soup.

You did not pick up his back legs, did you?

Kick 'im in the balls! I mean, gently, not in an animal abuse way, just in a "move that way, balls" way.
posted by librarina at 9:09 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]

OK, now that I've read everyone else's stories, I would like to send hugs of sympathy and/or joy to all who need them. I love this place.
posted by librarina at 9:21 PM on October 30, 2014 [5 favorites]

my sweet bear is involved with Sudden Kids in his life

And how. Never in my life would I've taken this on, but they're family and the other option was to let these kids, our kids, disappear into the system.

My kids are kids in all their nonsensical ways. I've been overwhelmed by it all. I didn't see it coming, no idea of what I was getting myself into. I've never been a father, just an uncle. I'm too old for this, I say. Then I make sure they brush and bathe and change their clothes and get to school on time. My sister takes on a huge part of the load, I couldn't do it without her.

Two months anniversary was yesterday. Tomorrow is trick-or-treat. We'll keep learning about each other. We have years to go.
posted by wallabear at 11:25 PM on October 30, 2014 [7 favorites]

All y'alls awesome is awesome and you all deserve to be proud. Because you're awesome.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:06 AM on October 31, 2014 [4 favorites]

My 79 year old mom died at 20:37 last night.

We initally thought it was a back injury. That old girl was digging a 140 foot ditch with me to run a water line to the barn. Two months later, we switched doctors after 6 ER visits and it was blood cancer. Then it was brain cancer too.

Walleyed open eyes, unseeing. Mouth breathing. Seven months of pain. My sister got here just in time. The last person to have a decent conversation with her was my son. She snapped out of it when she heard his sweet little voice Wednesday and asked him about school. Last coherent conversation.

Thursday night, I told him she could not talk but that he should talk to her. I just told him to say "I love you G'ma, but he went on about Cub Scout badges and Halloween and how he was doing so well in math and that he would take care of her dog.

Adventist clergy read to her from the Tibetan Book of the Dead, as per her wishes. I was amazed. And then she went.

Don't be sad for me. Be happy for her. She went out having spent her last good year with her grandson and me on a farm very similar to the one she grew up on. But with books and electricity and Alpacas.

I feel really good about the way we eased her out.

Maybe I will feel differently in a few days. Right now, my sister and I are watching old movies that we watched with mom in the seventies and talking like we have not talked in years.

Be well.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 1:21 AM on October 31, 2014 [22 favorites]

Mr. Yuck, I'm very happy for your mom. Sounds like y'all did an awesome job as a family.
Hugs, if you want them.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:26 AM on October 31, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thanks Too-Ticky. I don't want to soak this thread.

The love of my mom's life is in Arlington. People had to pull rank to get him close to the best friend he ever had. No adjacent spaces. He is just a small urn in a coffin because his friends would have had a fit if we hadn't given him him a full military ceremony. If anyone has any idea how I could get my mom's urn into that same coffin, PM me.

Done. Won't spoil this thread anymore.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 1:54 AM on October 31, 2014

Mr Yuck, you haven't done any spoiling. I'm so sad for your loss, but it warms my heart to hear about how you dealt with your mother's passing as a family. Thanks for sharing it.

.
posted by greenish at 3:16 AM on October 31, 2014 [3 favorites]

Mr.Yuck, I'm sorry for your loss.

But you arent' spoiling the thread! It is very uplifting to read "I feel really good about the way we eased her out."
When my dad died in May, circumstances were complex enough to make me seriously doubt that he had the best possible way out--no matter how hard we tried. There followed a prolonged period of feeling pretty shitty about it on top of being sad and worn out (one of the hardest things is to find the right kind of conversation at the bedside of someone who can't talk back).

Maybe my greatest achievement of grey October, about which I should have written above, is that I am actually gradually able to leave all that behind and to make some new sense of my own life.
posted by Namlit at 4:52 AM on October 31, 2014 [4 favorites]

Mr. Yuck, I'm sorry for your loss but it is also a beautiful and touching story about letting go in a way that was perhaps as peaceful and gentle as possible.

On my front, I now have a job interview coming up in a little over a week, which is both a good and terrifying feeling. And my main desktop computer is finally fixed, although the video card is apparently fried and no longer useable (and I've lost a few months worth of files due to the corrupt sectors on my hard drive). So, it seems like one step forward, one step backwards.
posted by nubs at 8:02 AM on October 31, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yeah, the thread, she is not spoiled Yuk.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:00 AM on October 31, 2014 [1 favorite]

Standing offer --->> ((hugs)) for snarl, too-ticky and anyone else who wants them.

So it's open for Mr. Yuck, should Mr. Yuck so desire.
posted by Michele in California at 11:09 AM on October 31, 2014 [2 favorites]

Snarl Furillo and Mr. Yuck: you're in my thoughts. Snarl, I wish I had gotten to know my grandparents better.

I'm continuing my Val Lewton-a-thon tonight with "Isle of the Dead," which I've seen before but which I remember fondly from TCM's Halloween Lewtonfest a few years back. Then, going to a benefit bluegrass concert tomorrow night with a friend.

Also, film nerds: Interstellar will be showing in true 70mm in a bunch of locations. I'm not a huge Nolan fan, but I am a McConaughey fan so I'll be headed down to Providence for the event.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 1:14 PM on October 31, 2014 [2 favorites]

I worked low-wage service industry jobs for a year and a half after grad school, and this month I obtained stimulating, fulfilling professional work that lets me serve my community and seems to be a first actual stop along the path of a real career! I love what I'm doing right now and I feel so lucky and almost confused to finally have the opportunity.
posted by threeants at 1:31 PM on October 31, 2014 [13 favorites]

Results were posted at 430pm est and I PASSED THE MD BAR EXAM. Which is great bc oh my god I never want to do that again. Ever.
posted by atomicstone at 2:06 PM on October 31, 2014 [21 favorites]

I appreciate all the kind words.

It's weird. A whole bunch of people who I barely know showed up unannounced with food and are crashed out all over the house. They snore. They are my cousins. My mom was the youngest of seven, a twenty year spread of fertility from her mom, so some of my TN cousins are older then she was.

They just showed up to help. Initially, I didn't want help. Then we started going through boxes that had never been unpacked and found a bunch of slides of my mom in hot pants, up in a tree. And racing cars in the late 40's and early fifties. I never knew she flipped a Hudson on a racetrack or played football in a cornfield, or carried a .22 caliber pen gun with phosphorus rounds. I never knew she took off on the back of a motorcycle and married some guy who only spoke Polish and wore a leather jacket.

In her late sixties, she was cut off on I-95 between Richmond and DC and rolled many times into that deep crevice between the North and Southbound lanes. Subaru landed on it's wheels and she got right back on the road and carried on to Maine. Told me about it a month later. No big deal to her. "Shit mom, could you tell me about near-death as it happens?" "The dog won't get in the car anymore." That was the big deal to her.

The cousins were remembering her as being fiery and I was remembering her beating down a mugger with a fallen tree limb in Chicago when I was 4. "Behind me!" Whacked that knife guy right down. "The hell you get my purse!" Extra whack when he was down.

One of these very conservative guests that I now have said "She was a feminist before feminism existed." He meant it it in a good way.

We are having great time unpacking mom's past. She saved everything, and we are glad. This is the wake you want. Sifting and laughing.

When I was in first grade, I drew a picture of a guy shooting from the hip based on Westworld. Teacher called my mom in because she thought my bad drawing was a spraying penis of doom. I have that frayed non-archival drawing now. Whee!

My sister was an art major before NYPD beat her into law school. We have all of her early work now.

There are about 50 boxes of stuff in the basement and I anticipate more good times.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 10:52 PM on October 31, 2014 [21 favorites]

I have hugs for anyone who feels like a hug them, whether virtual or in-person.*

I started a new job that I really like, and this week I found out that I passed the New York Bar (by, I dare to brag, a comfortable margin), and I had a great costume for Halloween for like the first time ever (I was Sallie Mae, the hungriest vampire in America, who rises monthly from the swamp to feast upon the hopes and ambitions of our nation's young).

So, thanks everybody for your hugs in the last thread: they totally worked.

* In-person hugs available only at participating locations in the Albany, NY area, while supplies last. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. See store for details.
posted by gauche at 8:48 AM on November 1, 2014 [5 favorites]

And, I should say, specific kind thoughts to Snarl Furillo and Mr. Yuck and Too-Ticky, and to anyone who is going through something hard right now.
posted by gauche at 8:54 AM on November 1, 2014 [4 favorites]

Ooh, the attic. A perfectly functional, recently fired break action, .38, with a 6 inch barrel manufactured in the 1890's and a shoulder holster. My NYC sister handed it to me in horror. Five loaded, hammer on an empty chamber. A box of 50 rounds half gone. What the hell Mom? That's totally Wild West. What in the heck was she shooting? Mom would only ever tell me about trouble when it was over. It's a bit too over to ever find out.

Mom moved in on a day I had to work. I didn't know there was anything up there in the attic. Many years of dream journals, that involve all my uninvited but welcome guests. So we put them in chronological order and are reading them out loud as a group. I have much better "book learning" than the TN people, but they are kind of Jungian in their response. We are having some serious fun here as we get flummoxed.

"I have to cross the flooded plain wearing only a hat."

"The dog gets out of the water with a Moray attached to it's leg and then dog bites me and won't let go."

"Mom didn't see me and fired the shotgun at the fox. I thought bees were all around me."

"Grandpa Robinson was drunk and told Grandma he was going to shoot Grandma. Did she want to die with boots on or off? His son shot him through the crack of the door as he cocked his revolver."

That last one turned out to be true. People here attest to that. It was covered up, 15 years before my mom was born.

I'm kind of torn. I can get my mom's urn into the same casket in Arlington with the love of her life. Or I can get her in the family cemetery. Maybe I can do almost halves and keep a bit for later when I land.

All hugs and adoptions are accepted and returned, but this is really not hard. This constant laughter around here is coming from shared tales and basic archeology and potluck meals.

Now my sister's ex-husband's ex-wives are coming as the TN relatives go home. They kind of formed a support group. Most of them are lawyers and we are going to shake every book looking for the will we know was written. Probate is hell. I'm blowing through money feeding the animals and have been since my mom got sick. We will shake every book and see if something falls out.

The people that wish to come when something like this happens are not people you should turn down.

Best
posted by Mr. Yuck at 8:15 PM on November 1, 2014 [8 favorites]

It's amazing to think that this thread is only a small chunk of what's happening to mefites at a random time. So much living!

As for me, my accomplishment of the week is getting myself out of the month long slump I had been inhabiting in which I was feeling extremely pessimistic about my chances of getting into medical school.

Now, once again, I am starting to feel certain of myself, and optimistic about my chances.
posted by ocherdraco at 3:47 PM on November 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom, Mr. Yuck. I'm glad you've been able to connect with your family and learn more about all the cool stuff she did.

Thank you for your kind condolences, everyone. They really did help.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 7:41 AM on November 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Mr. Too-Ticky gets to spend most of the weekend at home! Most of Saturday, ALL of Saturday night, most of Sunday!

*beams*
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:55 PM on November 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

Too-Ticky, that's great news!!
posted by librarina at 8:21 PM on November 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I may be later than I'd planned, and it may be 4:22 in the morning, and I may have been at work since 10am... but, damn it, I sent the draft of that 60 page conference report to my boss today. I shudder to estimate how many hours of work it represents, but given the number of individual speeches I had to listen to, take notes on, and summarize, I am guessing it is upwards of 200. So far.

Later on I will also have to lay out the entire document in InDesign, because lol nonprofits, but for now I am going to go home and sleep and sleep and not come in until noon tomorrow.

Yay yay I can maybe have a life again
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:25 AM on November 7, 2014 [6 favorites]

I've been accepted to a medical school! Aaaaaaaaaa!
posted by ocherdraco at 12:35 PM on November 7, 2014 [27 favorites]

I fixed the car mirror I clipped on a Muni bus with a $6 wrench and some J-B Weld glue and I feel good about myself.
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:38 PM on November 7, 2014 [3 favorites]

Banana pudding with vanilla cookies. Boy and I are up too late. Whee!
posted by Mr. Yuck at 9:36 PM on November 9, 2014

Saturday morning, I realized that while stumbling around in this mess of dead stuff, I was really neglecting my late Mom's dog. Her collar came off and while I was putting it back on, the stench! Snapped me out of my fog.

She did her best to not get carried in there, no biting or scratching but she's been skittish around men all her life and pretty freaked since my mom's demise. Hung on to the door frame and I had to go sideways, but I had the heater in there going and she was cautiously interested in warm water.

She was a brown pup who went creamy and retained some brown here and there, so it is hard to tell what is dirt and what is not. Two shampoos and a rinse.

Standard Poodles take a long time to dry, so I wrapped her up in beach blankets and violated the no dogs on the couch rule. Then I fed wrapped dog a chicken breast with a fork. Oh, the love. It was like the first time I gave Boy a bottle of breast milk. "Hmm, you could be useful."

Can't afford to heat this place properly, so I just held her and changed towels until she was dry.

I think she feels much better about me now. I just wish her name was not Girlfriend. That was funny when it was an old lady calling her. She is not very obedient for me and that gets awkward when you are a guy yelling for your Girlfriend to get back in the house. I just want to hang a sign around her neck to tell people that I did not name her. "It's a dog, I'm really not like that!" Neighbors have slowly realized that I am not trying to recapture some poor woman that I keep in my basement.

It's a big property. I have 27 neighbors and it took a while to meet all of them. Have had to grovel in front of sheer disbelief. "It's a dog! I promise! Can you not point that at me?"

Good, concerned people. But shit, they were going to shoot me because Mom named a dog wrong and they thought I was pursuing some battered woman through the woods.

I totally retract the answer I posted about dog names early this year.

Dead parents can leave you with all kinds of baggage. Probably got 12 years of that left on the dog front.

Whatever. I think I won dog over today. She seems quite pleased. Dog is love. Maybe she will listen now. We are going to work on hand signals so I don't have to shout her name. Not quite 3, might work.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 9:55 PM on November 15, 2014 [6 favorites]

Aw, Mr. Yuck, I really loved that little snapshot of your life. I hope you are enjoying the dog.

You can change her name if you want! It's not hard. Just start calling her the new name and giving her treats -- she'll figure it out pretty quickly. In my house we've changed Checkers to Oscar, Ruby to Rita, and Brodie to Fry. But if you are worried about it you could pick something with the same number of syllables or a similar cadence or similar consonants. Like ... Gomer? I don't know, I've got nothing.
posted by librarina at 10:25 PM on November 15, 2014

Goodfriend would probably be closest.
posted by ocherdraco at 8:34 AM on November 16, 2014

You get the laugh of the day, Ocher. As a matter of fact, my son just came up with that after hearing a Matthew Sweet demo this am and I was just about to post.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 8:42 AM on November 16, 2014

I HAVE AN UPDATE ON MY SLEEP THING: I am TREATABLE!!!! I have Upper Airway Resistance Syndrome; I'm gonna go in and get a CPAP on the 17th, and the abbreviation for that also stands for Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite so I have a lot of exciting openings for telling people jokes about being diagnosed with an orbital observatory that fell into the ocean in 2011.
posted by NoraReed at 12:58 AM on November 24, 2014 [7 favorites]

That's GREAT news, NoraReed! A CPAP can be revolutionary. I hope you get great sleep.
posted by ocherdraco at 5:23 AM on November 24, 2014

As of yesterday our house is under contract.
posted by Gygesringtone at 5:44 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]

So it's like this - every other Thanksgiving I'm on my own, because my brother's family trades off which in-laws will get them for which holiday, and the whole rest of the family has started timing their own holidays around them; and on the Thanksgivings we don't have custody and it's just me and my parents, we just say "fuck it" and meet for brunch at a restaurant in a midpoint to where we all live on the weekend before, and then spend Thanksgiving all lazy-like.

The thing is, not a SINGLE PERSON I have told this to has felt in any way sorry for me. I tell people, on the years I do this, that I'm going to spend Thanksgiving on my own dressed in jammies all day and watching TWILIGHT ZONE reruns and eating whatever I want WHENever I want and not leaving the house, and they always get this sort of dreamy, faraway look on their face and they say, ".....that sounds fantastic."

I do go ahead and try to make something foodwise; sometimes non-traditional, sometimes traditional. This year, I already had most of the vegetables and some apples on hand thanks to a CSA, and my parents gave me my annual Ration Of Cranberries From The Bog, and I adopted a couple of unclaimed oranges from a fruit basket delivered to work for some random meeting and I have some storebought pie crust scraps from something else I made that need using. So all I had to buy was a turkey breast for $15 bucks.

And thus, on Thanksgiving, while everyone else is getting up hella-ass early and fussing with the turkey or the stuffing or fighting over how many onions should be on the green bean casserole, for the price of a lunch, I am gonna get to sleep in until noon, have a nice long loll on the couch, and at some point will throw a turkey breast in the oven and heat up some vegetable things I've already cooked, make a single-serving apple tart, nibble some nachos while the turkey's cooking (made with the cranberry salsa my parents also gave me - I think it's new this year!), and will only wait an hour and a half for the turkey and then eat only as much as I want and have only a small amount of leftovers and then will take a long bubblebath and a nap before getting up and going to bed again.

AND IT IS GOING TO BE AWESOME.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:27 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]

Oh, another thing I'm very grateful for:

Sometime in May I started up a blog again. I've been keeping tabs on the stats I notice that at least three or four MeFites are consistently checking in every few days, and have been doing so for several months now. Just lurking, but they keep coming back.

I don't know who you are, but I'm grateful you do that.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:35 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

I just noticed that it is fifty years since I started playing the harpsichord. Yes. With 5 1/2 years.

Anyway, yay me, still not crazy.
posted by Namlit at 2:50 PM on November 24, 2014

This does sound fantastic, except you're supposed to be watching the MST3K marathon.

TELL ME MORE.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:01 PM on November 24, 2014

Here is a link for you.

I am also pleased to be having a bejamma'ed T'giving. I have a lot to be thankful for but that is one of the things. Last year since it was the Thanksgivukkah Confluence, I made some things. This year I bought a delicious meat pie and a lot of weird snacks from Frugal Franks and we're going to have a reheated-food-and-video-games day of it, that will stretch into a second day when we stay home and Buy Nothing. Not everyone's idea of a good time, but definitely mine.
posted by jessamyn (retired) at 4:31 PM on November 24, 2014

It's my birthday. I'm 27. I'm only freaking out a little.
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:16 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]

(That's a lie, oh god where did my childhood go and why am I so very single)
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:20 AM on November 25, 2014

wooooop happy birthday showbiz_liz, and enjoy your awesome age. if you're anything like me (a few years older) this is about the age you'll start relaxing and enjoying life a bit more, and that helps if you're looking to un-single. knowing who you are and what you want out of life gets easier towards 30, and I'm pretty sure that makes it easier to seek out good people.

citation: various things conspired to bring what I wanted out of life into sharp focus this year, it doesn't feel totally unrelated that soon after I happened upon the most wonderful man.
posted by greenish at 7:10 AM on November 25, 2014 [3 favorites]

Is that another MeFite coupling? I love it!
posted by billiebee at 8:40 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]

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