A post about metatalk hasn't been deleted yet, and I wonder why May 15, 2013 3:47 PM Subscribe

A post about how to use "Metatalk" skill to discuss communication problems and it hasn't been deleted. But I thought we could discuss why it hasn't been deleted. Communication is important, I'm just sayin'
posted by twoleftfeet to MetaFilter-Related at 3:47 PM (8633 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

Why do you want it to be deleted?
posted by donnagirl at 3:51 PM on May 15, 2013

May 15 2013, the day an infinite metarecursion devoured us all.
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:52 PM on May 15, 2013 [33 favorites]

donnagirl. Don't dish deleted. Duh!

Everybody, each answer has to be alphabet game! We haven't played alphabet game in a long time!
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:53 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

I promise you can play alphabet, every answer is a question or recipe game in here if you promise not to actually need the mods for anything.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:54 PM on May 15, 2013 [53 favorites]

jessamyn! jessamyn! twoleftfeet is making faces at me!
posted by eyeballkid at 3:56 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

Alphabet threads were the best.
posted by donnagirl at 3:57 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ann, my cousin, asked me about a recipe for roly poly today.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 3:57 PM on May 15, 2013

Duuuuude... a MeTa about a post on Metafilter about Metatalk...

I have got to sober up.
posted by King Bee at 3:57 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Just when I thought we had it going.
posted by donnagirl at 3:59 PM on May 15, 2013

Krikey.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:01 PM on May 15, 2013

Lo and behold, if you promise not to actually need the mods for anything. This means the monkeys control the asylum!
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:02 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Mods are not needed now, I'm sure. But always welcome.
posted by donnagirl at 4:02 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Do what thy will shall be the whole of the law.
posted by The Whelk at 4:02 PM on May 15, 2013 [10 favorites]

Not alphabet game, but we are learning.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:04 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh Whelk, you have to ruin everything...
posted by WidgetAlley at 4:04 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Pretend he didn't comment.
posted by donnagirl at 4:05 PM on May 15, 2013

peut-être
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:06 PM on May 15, 2013

Question: doubles don't count either, right?
posted by donnagirl at 4:06 PM on May 15, 2013

Righty-ho
posted by Mooski at 4:07 PM on May 15, 2013

Sorry for wrecking it earlier.
posted by King Bee at 4:07 PM on May 15, 2013

Totally not a big deal.
posted by donnagirl at 4:08 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Understood.
posted by King Bee at 4:08 PM on May 15, 2013

Very nice.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 4:08 PM on May 15, 2013

What happens when we get to the end of the alphabet?
posted by mokin at 4:10 PM on May 15, 2013

eXciting things, no doubt.
posted by Atom Eyes at 4:10 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

You start over.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:11 PM on May 15, 2013

Zucchini Biscuit Pie

Ingredients
3 cups sliced zucchini, 1/4-inch thick
coarse salt
3 eggs
3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup canola oil
1/4 cup whole milk
2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil
1 garlic clove, minced
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1 small onion, chopped
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder

Instructions
A 1/2 to 1 hour ahead of time toss zucchini slices with a 1/2 teaspoon coarse salt in a colander over a bowl to drain.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 9-inch deep dish pie pan.
In a large bowl whisk the eggs, parmesan, oil, milk, basil, garlic and pepper. Gently stir in the zucchini, onion, flour and baking powder, tossing until the batter comes together and all the zucchini is coated.
Pour into the pie plate and arrange with a spoon so the zucchini lays flat and even.
Bake at 350° for 25-30 minutes or until lightly browned on top. Serve warm or at room temperature. Store leftovers in refrigerator.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 4:12 PM on May 15, 2013 [23 favorites]

Zounds, it seems we skipped X.
posted by donnagirl at 4:12 PM on May 15, 2013

Apparently I'm incorrect.
posted by donnagirl at 4:13 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

But now that we have the edit window, we should be able to avoid doubles.
posted by King Bee at 4:13 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Christ, you'd think so. (But your intentions were good.)
posted by ersatz at 4:14 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Doesn't that constitute edit window abuse?
posted by donnagirl at 4:15 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Everyone does it!
posted by QueerAngel28 at 4:16 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Fuggetaboutit.
posted by Mooski at 4:19 PM on May 15, 2013

God, I'm so sorry jessamyn
posted by ersatz at 4:19 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

How about we switch to Recipe Game!

Pickled onions.

I found this in a question about tacos. And it is really good. Everyone should go make this before the onions in the market get even worse!
posted by bilabial at 4:24 PM on May 15, 2013 [4 favorites]

I don't really understand what's happening right now.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:25 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

Ice takes many forms.

(if it's not creeping up into your backyard)
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 4:25 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

jessamyn, I need a time machine
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 4:27 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Kind advice: the last alphabet game I played went on for a whole month. Pack supplies.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:29 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

Loading up now.
posted by donnagirl at 4:29 PM on May 15, 2013

Meta-Meta-Metafilter may be crossing too many streams.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 4:37 PM on May 15, 2013

Never have I had as much fun in a MeTa.
posted by King Bee at 4:37 PM on May 15, 2013

PENIS
posted by Sys Rq at 4:38 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

OH WAIT FUCK
posted by Sys Rq at 4:38 PM on May 15, 2013 [30 favorites]

Question: Seriously, what's going on?
posted by cjorgensen at 4:40 PM on May 15, 2013

Riker is what's going on
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 4:40 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Zucchini biscuit pie? Chicken tamale pie!
posted by capricorn at 4:41 PM on May 15, 2013

YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY THE

|^^^^^^^^^^^^](ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
| KAWAII TRUCK | ‘|”“”;.., ___.
|_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] |
”(@ )’(@ )”“”“*|(@ )(@ )*****(@　　　　⊂（ﾟДﾟ⊂⌒） NO KAWAII TRUCK NO!!!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:41 PM on May 15, 2013 [17 favorites]

Save your zucchini recipes for Z, please. We're not even to Y yet.
posted by sonika at 4:42 PM on May 15, 2013

Too soon for zucchini.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:43 PM on May 15, 2013

Ugh
posted by hellojed at 4:44 PM on May 15, 2013

Yeah, almost zucchini time!
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:45 PM on May 15, 2013

Vulcans love zucchini recipes, I hear. It's the logical consequence of always ending up with too much zucchini.
posted by sonika at 4:45 PM on May 15, 2013

[SPEECH] I had the same thought, but it doesn't bother me.

[BARTER] A trade-off is neccesary for the site to survive.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 4:45 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

When will this grab-ass party end?
posted by en forme de poire at 4:45 PM on May 15, 2013

x-actly
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:46 PM on May 15, 2013

Xylophones at a grab-ass party are a decidedly bad idea.
posted by sonika at 4:46 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

You've got to believe in zucchini.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:47 PM on May 15, 2013

ZING! I took Z! Your zucchini recipes are denied until the next cycle! Hahaha!
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:48 PM on May 15, 2013 [4 favorites]

Aaaargh!
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:49 PM on May 15, 2013

Ah-hah, I think I got this game now.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:49 PM on May 15, 2013

Blast! I was wrong.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:49 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Come on now, don't take double turns. That's cheating.
posted by sonika at 4:50 PM on May 15, 2013

Could have been quicker.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:50 PM on May 15, 2013

Come on, get with the program.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:50 PM on May 15, 2013

Don't fight, kids, or cortex will turn this car around.
posted by donnagirl at 4:51 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

don't take double turns. That's cheating.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:51 PM on May 15, 2013

Daft Punk in six days!
posted by 4ster at 4:52 PM on May 15, 2013

Evidently, we have timing issues. Try previewing!
posted by donnagirl at 4:52 PM on May 15, 2013

Fuck previewing! #YOLO
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:53 PM on May 15, 2013 [24 favorites]

Got G covered, y'all. Just waiting.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:53 PM on May 15, 2013

don't take double turns. That's cheating.

Foul! No repetitions. 30-love.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 4:54 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

Ha!
posted by 4ster at 4:54 PM on May 15, 2013

hi
posted by elizardbits at 4:55 PM on May 15, 2013

hurry up and be B again so i can say BUTTS
posted by elizardbits at 4:55 PM on May 15, 2013 [4 favorites]

Just so you know, I plan my moves two steps in advance.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:55 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

I feel a little dizzy and lost.
posted by donnagirl at 4:56 PM on May 15, 2013

Korova cookies are better than juice cake.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:03 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Lies! Juice cake actually sounds awesome.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:04 PM on May 15, 2013

Making it seems easy, too.
posted by donnagirl at 5:05 PM on May 15, 2013

Montenegro were robbed.
posted by Wordshore at 5:05 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

No one has more cake than us juice.
posted by gman at 5:11 PM on May 15, 2013

Oblong cake, irregularly shaped, is not as delicious as...
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:13 PM on May 15, 2013

Pie.
posted by donnagirl at 5:15 PM on May 15, 2013

Quince!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:15 PM on May 15, 2013

Rats
posted by JohnnyGunn at 5:16 PM on May 15, 2013

So, this is the most peculiar MeTa I've read in a while.
posted by .kobayashi. at 5:17 PM on May 15, 2013

Food pie:

1. Remove all vegetables from refrigerator. However small they are, make them smaller. You can use your hands or a knife.

2. Place flour, water, a bit of baking powder if you've got it (but it's not crucial), and a bit of oil of some kind in a bowl, in the sort of proportion that ends up resulting in some type of dough when mixed thoroughly. You don't have to get the proportions right at the beginning, unless you use all the flour (or all the water, though this is less likely for Food Pie Constructors in wealthy nations) from the get-go.

3. Your baking dish is (roughly) the boundary of the Cartesian product of a large rectangle R with a half-open interval H. That means it's the union of R and four smaller rectangles. Make a copy of each rectangle with your dough, and another copy of R. Assemble one R and the four small ones inside the baking dish in the only possible way that won't result in total semantic breakdown if you call the thing you get at the end "pie". The extra copy of R will be the top.

4. Combine all of the vegetables (except lettuce) in a bowl. Add some sauce-type things that you like. I put tofu in mine, after macerating it with my fingers.

5. Add frozen peas. Otherwise your food pie sucks.

6. Put the mixed stuff in your crust. Maybe you wanted to grease up the dish before assembling the crust.

7. Put the top on.

8. Put in oven at a temperature, and for an amount of time, that seems correct.

9.

clean=0

while [ clean = 0 ]; do

remove $food_pie
stab $food_pie with $current_fork

last_fork=$current_fork
current_fork=$new_clean_fork

echo $food_pie >> oven

clean=`isclean($last_fork)`

done

remove $food_pie

10. HURF DURF
posted by kengraham at 5:17 PM on May 15, 2013 [23 favorites]

That didn't fit the pattern.
posted by donnagirl at 5:18 PM on May 15, 2013

Umbrella's are needed!
posted by QueerAngel28 at 5:19 PM on May 15, 2013

Turtles all the way down.
posted by special-k at 5:19 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ugh.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:19 PM on May 15, 2013

Very understandable confusion, as I've no idea how these people got their alphabets wedged into their MetaTalk or why.
posted by beryllium at 5:20 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

We're back on track.
posted by donnagirl at 5:20 PM on May 15, 2013

I'm not getting that thread at all. It seriously looks like the point is to point and laugh and I didn't think we did that here? I'm confused.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:21 PM on May 15, 2013

Whut?
posted by irrelephant at 5:21 PM on May 15, 2013

Otherwise your food pie sucks.

Uh, yes it did.
posted by kengraham at 5:22 PM on May 15, 2013

Xcept you're still out of order, sadly.
posted by donnagirl at 5:23 PM on May 15, 2013

Y and Y vibration.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:24 PM on May 15, 2013

You all are being willfully inscrutable. I'm sure of it.
posted by .kobayashi. at 5:24 PM on May 15, 2013

Zamboni comes by and smooths out the ice, making it ready for starting a new game.
posted by donnagirl at 5:25 PM on May 15, 2013 [4 favorites]

I'm not getting that thread at all. It seriously looks like the point is to point and laugh and I didn't think we did that here? I'm confused.

Thought it was amusing and interesting, but if put in MeTa would be too in jokey and people would laugh, so obviously the general the site would find it somewhat humorous and interesting, right?

*sighs*
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:30 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Actually, we promised jessamyn we wouldn't talk about the topic at hand.
posted by donnagirl at 5:31 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

IBut some people do it anyway.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:31 PM on May 15, 2013

Clever as we are, can we not understand alphabet game???
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:32 PM on May 15, 2013

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
posted by DaDaDaDave at 5:35 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Do not make the MeFite angry.
posted by Wordshore at 5:36 PM on May 15, 2013

can it be time for poffins now plz
posted by elizardbits at 5:36 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Early to bed, early to rise. I stay up late and eat lots of pies. I don't know what the rest of you eat. But I get up early and eat lots of meat. The meat makes me strong, the meat makes me sing, but I don't beat a gong for the beat that I bring.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:40 PM on May 15, 2013 [10 favorites]

Feet of two and left
Makes a delightful rhyming
But I? Just haiku
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:42 PM on May 15, 2013

Good. Continue
posted by QueerAngel28 at 5:43 PM on May 15, 2013

Haiku is awesome
Can we possibly go on
Completely in verse?
posted by donnagirl at 5:44 PM on May 15, 2013

I'm waiting for someone cleverer than me to do a limerick containing the word "MeFite."
posted by scratch at 5:45 PM on May 15, 2013

I would approve of
A haiku alphabet game
That would be neato
posted by insectosaurus at 5:45 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

I don't see why not
Verse is the life blood of joy
At least in my view
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:45 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Jesus, this is working like the 4chan "Count to 10" threads.
posted by Sarcasm at 5:45 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

There once was a meta from filter
who wore nothing under his kilter
posted by shothotbot at 5:49 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

*sighs*

I get why you thought it was clever and fun, but a bit of further exploration...it seems like the guy is a nutter. His website seems to indicate this is such. Now I am not on some moral high horse here. I don't have a problem with laughing at the time-cube types. After all, if they put it on the internet it's fair game, but I thought the general policy was that pointing and laughing was not what we generally did, and that's what people seem to be doing.

The initial question in this post goes unanswered.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:49 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

So much depends
upon

your pronunciation of
MeFite

if we were to write
limericks

based on that
rhyme
posted by .kobayashi. at 5:50 PM on May 15, 2013 [6 favorites]

Kids these days don't know the alphabet.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:50 PM on May 15, 2013

Let me know if this is just going to devolve into discussion of the post topic, and I'll show myself out.
posted by donnagirl at 5:51 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

Might we continue
to discuss the post topic
in alphabet verse?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:53 PM on May 15, 2013

I'd prefer a villanelle.
posted by scratch at 5:54 PM on May 15, 2013

No reason why not
But I don't really suppose
It's what people want.
posted by donnagirl at 5:54 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

oops
posted by carsonb at 5:57 PM on May 15, 2013

plunk
posted by carsonb at 5:57 PM on May 15, 2013

QWOP
posted by carsonb at 5:58 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

rage
posted by carsonb at 5:58 PM on May 15, 2013

stupid
posted by carsonb at 5:58 PM on May 15, 2013

There once was a dude from LA
Who moved up north of the bay
He built a website
For links and MeFites
Who now use it for alphabet games.

micdro—THUD
posted by carsonb at 5:58 PM on May 15, 2013 [4 favorites]

u no?
posted by carsonb at 5:59 PM on May 15, 2013

Viz: A limerick with Mefite!
It required a substantial rewrite.
At first it seemed funny,
But when it was done. Eeeh!
They said of it just that "he bites."
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:59 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

We were all set for a MetaTalk thread
full of mods and of flameouts and dread,
Then the MeFites proclaimed
"It's now alphabet gamed!"
But I want recipes instead.
posted by .kobayashi. at 5:59 PM on May 15, 2013 [4 favorites]

X is a hard letter to do
There's no one who wants it, it's true
But don't have a fit
Just cheat it a bit
And soon on to Y you are through.
posted by donnagirl at 6:07 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Better late than never.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:11 PM on May 15, 2013

ZYZZYVA
posted by scratch at 6:12 PM on May 15, 2013

So the Ms. asked for coconut french toast for breakfast on Mom's day, and normally I get this sweet coconut bread called cocktail rolls, from the local Asian grocery, which gets it from a weekly commute from New York's Chinatown. Anywho, by the time I got to the store they were out, but she asked for it, so I looked it up on the Internets and found this recipe. Here's my take on that, and then the french toast:

INGREDIENTS
Bread:
1/3 cup white sugar
1 cup milk
1/4 cup softened butter
1 tablespoon active dry yeast
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 egg, beaten
1 cup all-purpose flour, or more if needed

Filling:
1/4 cup softened butter
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup nonfat dry milk powder
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup finely grated fresh coconut

1 egg (optional)
1 tablespoon sesame seeds, for garnish
(optional)

DIRECTIONS:
Place sugar and milk in a small saucepan, and stir until the sugar is dissolved. Add butter, and gently warm the mixture until the butter melts and the mixture is warm, about 100 degrees F (40 degrees C). In a large bowl, stir together the yeast with 2 1/2 cups flour until blended, then pour the milk mixture into the yeast mixture. Stir in a beaten egg, and mix until the it forms a sticky dough.
Turn out onto a well-floured surface, and knead for about 10 minutes, gradually kneading in maybe another cup of flour until smooth and elastic. Form the dough into a round ball, place in an oiled bowl, and roll the dough to coat it with oil. Cover the bowl with a damp cloth, and allow it to rise in a warm place until doubled, about 1 hour or so depending on the room temperature.
Cream 1/4 cup softened butter with 1/2 cup of sugar until the mixture is light and fluffy, and add the dry milk powder, 1/2 cup flour, and the coconut until the mixture is smooth and well blended, like a paste.
Knock down the dough, and cut into 2 equal pieces. Cut each piece into 6-8 equal-sized pieces (12-16 pieces total). Form each piece into an oblong bun, and flatten the bun with your hand or a floured rolling pin. Scoop up about 1 tablespoon of filling with a spoon, and place in the center of a bun. Pull, fold, and pinch the edges of the dough together to enclose the filling in the bun. Repeat with all dough pieces, and place, seam down, onto the parchment lined baking sheets. Cover the buns with a damp cloth and allow to rise in a warm place.
Bake at 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) on baking sheets with parchment paper for about fifteen minutes.
If you're not making french toast out of them, before you bake them, beat 1 egg in a bowl, and brush each bun with a little beaten egg and then them with sesame seeds. Boom, cocktail rolls
The next morning, get up early and take the rest of the fresh ground coconut and put it in on a plate. In a shallow bowl beat four eggs and half a cup of cream, or if you're more of a hedonist than foodie, half a cup of Almond Joy non-dairy creamer.
Slice cocktail bread into fingers and allow them to soak for 10 minutes in the egg and cream mixture. Then roll them in the remaining coconut and fry in butter in a low-medium skillet until the coconut-egg coating is nicely browned.
Serve with bacon, mango, and hot coffee.
posted by Toekneesan at 6:12 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

Doh!
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:13 PM on May 15, 2013

Excellent! Another opportunity to post my favorite coconut bread recipe. Bring your samurai sword.
posted by carsonb at 6:16 PM on May 15, 2013

For the mood I am in, all this silliness is most helpful.
posted by EvaDestruction at 6:19 PM on May 15, 2013

Go with the silliness. Go into the light. Heaven and Hell await you.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:28 PM on May 15, 2013

Hp xjug ugf tjmmjoftt. Hp joup ugf mjhiu. Ifbwfo boe Ifmm bxbju zpv.
posted by carsonb at 6:30 PM on May 15, 2013

It's easy for you to say.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:31 PM on May 15, 2013

I wrote before:
heaven and hell await all those who die
no, wait! that's a silly old lie
you go in the ground
and then wait around
for nothing to happen— so cry.
posted by Red Loop at 6:32 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

Just gonna mention that I've never seen rot1 used before, carsonb.
posted by donnagirl at 6:33 PM on May 15, 2013

Khaaaaaaaaan!
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 6:35 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Lord, this again?
posted by rtha at 6:45 PM on May 15, 2013

Must be time for it.
posted by shothotbot at 6:46 PM on May 15, 2013

No one wants to hear about Benadryl Cumberbund, Riker, sorry.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 6:47 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

or bandylegs crumplesnacks
posted by elizardbits at 6:50 PM on May 15, 2013

On the contrary, Bumbershoot Cabbagepatch is relevant to my interests
posted by en forme de poire at 6:52 PM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

Perfect Ice Cream Bread
Makes 1 8 x 4 loaf

Ingredients:
2 Cups Ice Cream, any flavor, softened
1 1/2 cups Self-Rising Flour

Directions:
Preheat your oven to 350. Spray and flour an 8 x 4 loaf pan, or line it with parchment paper.
In a medium bowl mix the ice cream and flour together until just combined.
Scoop into the loaf and and smooth out.
Bake for about 45 minutes or until a toothpick stuck in the loaf comes out with a few crumbs stuck to it.
Remove from the pan and allow to cool (if you can wait that long)!
For best results, use FULL FAT ice cream
posted by nooneyouknow at 6:52 PM on May 15, 2013 [5 favorites]

Quite honestly I find Bandstand Crumpleduck sort of...tepid.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 6:53 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

PIFFLE
posted by carsonb at 6:53 PM on May 15, 2013

Quick, reverse it!
posted by carsonb at 6:53 PM on May 15, 2013

Roll it all back!
posted by never used baby shoes at 6:54 PM on May 15, 2013

Shocked, I am truly shocked by this behavior.
posted by third rail at 6:54 PM on May 15, 2013

Turtles. Chocolate turtles. Somebody get me a recipe!
posted by bilabial at 6:55 PM on May 15, 2013

Under the turtles are more turtles.
posted by third rail at 6:56 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Very delicious turtles.
posted by donnagirl at 6:57 PM on May 15, 2013

Who ate all of my turtles?
posted by asnider at 6:59 PM on May 15, 2013

'Xactly. That's what I want to know!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:00 PM on May 15, 2013

You no have recipes?
posted by bilabial at 7:00 PM on May 15, 2013

Zero recipes.
posted by donnagirl at 7:01 PM on May 15, 2013

AAAAGH STOP IT ALL OF YOU!
posted by vrakatar at 7:01 PM on May 15, 2013

BUTTS!
posted by Carmelita Spats at 7:02 PM on May 15, 2013

Carmelita, I want chocolate. And caramel. Together with pecans. And I don't trust martha stewart to give me the goods.

Butts are not the same as turtles.
posted by bilabial at 7:03 PM on May 15, 2013

DANIE'S 2013 CINCO DE MAYO CHICKEN MOLE

OIL, how about peanut?
4 T ground ancho chilies
4 T ground aleppo
2 T ground chipotle
1/2 cup sesame seeds
15 peppercorns
1 t anise seeds
2 t ground cumin
1 t ground coriander
1/2 t ground cloves
2 t cinnamon
3 T raisins
20 whole almonds -- skins on, shells off
1 28-ounce can Muir Glen diced fire-roasted tomatoes
6-8 cloves garlic, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
4 cups chicken stock
4 ounces dark chocolate, chopped
3 small chickens, cut into pieces
kosher salt
ground black pepper

INSUFFERABLY MESSY SAUCE STAGE:

1. Do not sniff the ground peppers, any of them, to see what they smell like, unless you're not feeling attached to your nasal epithelium. Do combine the peppers and marvel at their gorgeous deep reddish brown tone (#520600-ish?).

2. In a dry skillet, toast the sesame seeds, peppercorns, and anise (low-medium heat). If you're using whole coriander or cumin seeds, toss those in there, too. Heat til fragrant, stirring, a couple of minutes; don't overcook! Your seeds will get bitter and icky.

3. Use a mortar and pestle to grind the toasted seeds to a powder. Add this powder to the combined peppers.

4. Add a tablespoon or two of oil to the skillet and turn your heat to medium. Toss in the almonds and raisins and stir 'em around til the almonds are toasted and the raisins are plump. This'll take about 5 minutes. Smile at the plump, glossy raisins. They looked so gaunt before. Remove the almonds and raisins from the pan. If your goal is to dirty every last pot, pan, plate, utensil, and vessel in your kitchen (hi, Karen), use a fresh plate or something. You've only used one skillet, but you've dirtied a cutting board, at least one knife, a mortar, a pestle. Your spice and pepper bowl is still in use, so that doesn't count in the Dirty Dish Olympics.

5. Add a little more oil than you think you need to your skillet. Toss in your onions, stir. After a minute, add your garlic, stir. Here's why you need so much delicious oil: add to the pan your peppers, your toasted and ground spices, and the spices that you lazily obtained already ground: cinnamon, cloves, etc. Stir to coat with oil, reduce heat to low-medium, and "bloom" for a few minutes.

6. Add a handful of kosher salt, stir in the tomatoes and chicken stock, add in the almonds and raisins (which aren't quite so plump anymore), and stir very, very well to incorporate all ingredients, making sure nothing important (like your wallet) is stuck to the bottom of the pan. Bring to a simmer, then cover loosely, reduce the heat, and simmer away for about an hour, stirring when you remember to.

7. Remove the sauce-in-progress from the heat and let it cool down for a bit, especially if you're using a food processor instead of a blender. Work in batches or you will REGRET IT. You will go through 70 Magic Erasers and curse my name and never eat Mexican food ever again. So work in batches. Anyway, working in batches, puree the sauce along with the chocolate (remember the chocolate?), add salt and pepper to taste, and then drink the whole thing with a thick bubble tea straw.

8. You can put the sauce away now for up to a week til you're ready for the chicken part of it. Or, you can just move on to the chicken part of it. You know how we roll in faux Mexico. C'est bon!

PAINFULLY SPLATTERY CHICKEN STAGE:

1. Put on protective gear. Don't be like Danie! Do not forget that chicken is the most painful of the stovetop meats! Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Well, you could have done that part without the padded suit.

2. Season the chicken pieces with salt and pepper. Heat up... yeah, oil again. Over medium-high heat, brown the chicken on all sides, a few pieces at a time, and move to a roasting pan. When you're finally done (you'll know because you're out of chicken and your entire kitchen is shiny and hazardous to walk in), pour the mole sauce over the chicken and cover the pan with some foil.

3. Check the chicken after 45 minutes or so, maybe decide to turn the oven temp up to 400 because you've only lived in this new place for a couple of weeks and you're not sure if things are calibrated to reality. Maybe uncover the chicken. Maybe not. Again, c'est bon!

4. Chicken is DONE when it's cooked through and very tender, and the sauce is the temperature of the lava that ate Pompeii.

5. Optional: put everything in plastic containers and drive it to Brooklyn.
posted by houseofdanie at 7:09 PM on May 15, 2013 [10 favorites]

EVERYBODY DANCE NOW
posted by mintcake! at 7:10 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

FFS
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:15 PM on May 15, 2013

Gonna make you sweat!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:17 PM on May 15, 2013

Hammer Time!
posted by bilabial at 7:18 PM on May 15, 2013

I am stuck in a terrible political conversation with my housemates. SEND HELP.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 7:20 PM on May 15, 2013

In a Gadda Da Vida
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:20 PM on May 15, 2013

Jeepers, shoulda previewed.
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:20 PM on May 15, 2013

Food pie is my mother's secret recipe! It is my only heritage of culinary art of days of yore!

>:(
posted by winna at 7:21 PM on May 15, 2013

k
posted by en forme de poire at 7:23 PM on May 15, 2013

Jeepers, shoulda previewed.

Tilda Swinton does not preview.

Tilda Swinton discerns.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:27 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Leggo my eggo
posted by shothotbot at 7:32 PM on May 15, 2013

Make me.
posted by donnagirl at 7:34 PM on May 15, 2013

No life
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:35 PM on May 15, 2013

Is this a recipe thread? I recently made Banoffi pies for work. They are easy and everyone seems to enjoy them, although you'll need to prepare a parallel dish for guests with e.g. milk allergies.

You can use the toffee/dulce de leche from this recipe for other things (icecream topping, etc), so I'll explain that first. I learned this method from Ian Dowding's webpage.

Take as many cans of sweetened condensed milk as you can cram into a deep saucepan or casserole and cram them into a deep saucepan or casserole. Leave them shut! Cover with water and bring to the boil on the stovetop. While this is happening, preheat your oven to 140'C.

Once it hits the boil, transfer it to the oven and cook for three and a half hours. Because of what I think is vapour pressure magic, the water won't steam away in the oven, although it will bubble along merrily. (I topped it off with an additional pint of water at hour three, although I forgot to remove the lid from the casserole and just poured it all over the inside of my oven. In my defence it was two a.m. by this point.)

You now have cans of a very sticky, thick, milk toffee. It keeps in the cupboard (which is why you do several tins at once) and it is very rich. I spilled some on my hand while I was preparing the pies and I swear I could taste it through my skin.

For the pies, prepare high walled pie shells. I made mine as biscuit bases (Dowding hates these, but whatever). Spoon toffee into the bottom (it may help to stand the can in hot water before opening one) and flatten it out. Add a layer of sliced bananas to the top of the toffee. Take a lot of double cream and whip it with some caster sugar and a pinch or two of instant coffee until it holds its shape, and pile that business on top of the bananas. Serve.
posted by curious.jp at 7:41 PM on May 15, 2013 [7 favorites]

Occasionally a recipe thread, but in truth an alphabet thread.
posted by donnagirl at 7:42 PM on May 15, 2013

Pie!
posted by rtha at 7:45 PM on May 15, 2013

Quite. Ho, Ho! The game's afoot!
posted by zarq at 7:53 PM on May 15, 2013

------------------------------------------

Spicy Tumeric Stew
------------------------------------------

Meat:

6 Chicken Thighs
4-6 Tbsp. Olive Oil
Flour
Salt, Pepper

Spices:

1 1/2 Tbsp. Cumin Seeds
1 Tbsp. Corriander Seeds
2 Tbsp. Ground Ginger
2 Tbsp. Tumeric
2 Bay Leaves
1 Cinamon Stick
4 Cloves Garlic, minced

Veg:

1 large (or two medium) Onion(s), diced
1 Red Bell Pepper, diced
1 Green Bell Pepper, diced
3 Scotch Bonnet Peppers, minced
1 large can Crushed Tomatoes

For Sauce:
16 oz (one box/large can) Chicken Stock
16 oz. (two small containters) Plain Yogurt
4-6 oz. Goat Cheese
3/4 cup Flat-leaf Parsely, chopped

1. Get a heavy-duty pan (a large, deep one, so we can add a lot of liquid, or use a stock pot) and heat it well, then add about half the oil. Dredge the chicken thighs in seasoned flour and brown on both sides, then set them aside.

2. Toast the cumin and corriander seeds in the hot oil. This happens very quickly; as soon they go brown and you can smell the spice wafting up off the pan, IMMEDIATELY add the the other spices, (ginger, tumeric, cinamon, bay) the garlic, and the onion, and give 'em all a stir to coat. You might need to add the rest of the olive oil at the point if it looks a bit dry; you want the veg to have enough to fry in. Then add the peppers, stir together, and let sautee until the onions are soft and traslucent, say 5 or 6 minutes.

3. At this point, add the crushed tomatoes and the chicken stock. Return the chicken to pot and taste for seasoning (Don't worry if it seems too spicy at this juncture; the dairy will mellow it considerably.) Let the whole come to a boil, then turn the heat down to a gentle simmer, and let work for about an hour, or until the chicken is falling-off-the-bone tender.

4. Fish out the bay leaves and the cinamon stick. Remove the chicken, take off the skin and seperate the meat from the bone, and return the meat to the pot. Turn off the heat, add the yogurt and the goat cheese, and stir thoroughly until everything's incorporated. (The yogurt goes in pretty easy, the goat cheese is a bit slower to incorporate.) Add the parsley, give it a good stir, and you're good to go.

The end product should be a rich, meaty stew, bright yellow in color, with green and red flecks from the pepper and parsley and darker spots of spice.
posted by Diablevert at 7:55 PM on May 15, 2013 [5 favorites]

Rhubarb?
posted by Westringia F. at 7:56 PM on May 15, 2013

Strange how ritualized these games we play are
posted by ook at 7:58 PM on May 15, 2013

Thinking about turtles. Still. Obviously, I need to go to sleep.
posted by bilabial at 8:01 PM on May 15, 2013

Tiramisu Cheesecake

3 ounces, weight Lady Fingers (3 Ounces Is About 24 Ladyfingers)
2 cups Vanilla Wafers
3 Tablespoons Butter, Melted
7 Tablespoons Kahlua Liqueur, Divided
4 packages Cream Cheese (8 Ounces Each), Softened
¼ cups Sour Cream
¾ cups Sugar
2 whole Eggs
4 Tablespoons All-purpose Flour
1 ounce, weight Square Or Bar Semi-sweet Chocolate

Heat oven to 350°F. Fill a roasting pan (or pan large enough to accommodate the springform) with 2 inches with tap water, set inside oven while it heats. Wrap the outside of an 8- or 9-inch springform pan with heavy duty foil, ensuring there is no way water can leak through at least halfway up the sides of the pan.

Place the ladyfingers and Vanilla Wafers in a food processor and pulse into fine crumbs. Mix the melted butter and 3 tablespoons of Kahlua into the crumbs. Press into the bottom of the springform pan.

In a large bowl, mix cream cheese, sour cream, and sugar until very smooth. Add the rest of the coffee liqueur (4 tablespoons), and mix well. Add the eggs and the flour; mix slowly until just smooth. Batter might be as thick as pudding, which is OK. Do not over-mix at this point. Pour batter into crust and spread evenly with a spoon or offset spatula.

Place the springform pan inside the water bath on the middle rack of the oven. Bake for 60 minutes, or until just set. Then open the oven door, and turn off the heat. Leave cake to cool in oven for 20 minutes. Then remove cake from oven, and let it finish cooling in the pan set on a cooling rack.

Refrigerate for at least 3 hours, or overnight before attempting to remove the edge of the springform pan. Right before serving, grate the semi-sweet chocolate over the top.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 8:01 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

I'm just wondering why, since everyone is flush with favorites now, none are coming my way.

Can we talk about that?
posted by mazola at 8:04 PM on May 15, 2013 [4 favorites]

U sad, mazola? I favorite you!
posted by rtha at 8:10 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Batman Dancing

Batman Dancing 2
posted by Golden Eternity at 8:14 PM on May 15, 2013

Very strange place to put Batman.
posted by Salamander at 8:26 PM on May 15, 2013

Very glad am I to have discovered that you can make buttercream frosting IN THE FOOD PROCESSOR which is bad because I have a pound of leftover fudge frosting now. Is anyone in the Philly burbs and in need of, like, butter made EVEN MORE DELICIOUS?
posted by jetlagaddict at 8:26 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

whoops
posted by jetlagaddict at 8:27 PM on May 15, 2013

Thinking about turtles. Still. Obviously, I need to go to sleep.

I have previous to now composed a song about turtles which I sing* and it may aid you in seeking sleep WHILE thinking about turtles!

Tuuuuuurtles, walk along the sand!
One foot in front of the OTHer, One foot in front of the OTHer - Turtles walk along the sand!
Tuuuuuurtles, wear their party hats!
Pink and gold and yellow, pink and gold and yellow - Turtles wear their party hats!
Tuuuuuurtles, eat their party cake!
Chocolate with buttercream icing, Chocolate with buttercream icing - Turtles eat their party cake!
Tuuuuuurtles, walking hand in hand!
With their friend the [person who song is being sung to], With their friend the [], Turtles walking hand in hand!

Any old tune you have lying around will do.

* I am not a lyricist. It's not even my part-time volunteer activity to pad out my college application, let alone something for which I'd quit my day job.
posted by winna at 8:29 PM on May 15, 2013 [5 favorites]

Xylophones might be good for playing the turtle song. Or is it more a banjo thing?
posted by Salamander at 8:35 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

You'd think it would be best on steel drums; they look kinda like turtle shells.
posted by donnagirl at 8:36 PM on May 15, 2013

I have heretofore not considered instrumentation, but it would be a sort of plunky type of song. A banjo might work!

Or one of those little kid piano toys.
posted by winna at 8:38 PM on May 15, 2013

Zut alors! Our alphabet game, she eez ruined!
posted by onlyconnect at 8:41 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Aaaaargh!
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:42 PM on May 15, 2013

Boooo, winna.
posted by mokin at 8:43 PM on May 15, 2013

Come on, let's start again.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:44 PM on May 15, 2013

Does anyone in the world not know this recipe somehow?

English Peas
by Paula Deen
Servings: 6-8 servings
Prep Time: 5 min
Cook Time: 5 min
Difficulty: Easy
Ingredients
2 cans (14 1/2-ounces) English Peas
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter
Directions
Melt butter in small pot and add drained peas. Cook over medium heat until peas are warm.
posted by third rail at 8:44 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Don't cause trouble.
posted by scratch at 8:44 PM on May 15, 2013

Don't push your luck.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:44 PM on May 15, 2013

Egads, we are in 3-D!
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:45 PM on May 15, 2013

Everyone is doubling up.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:45 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

For the moment, but it will smooth out again.
posted by donnagirl at 8:46 PM on May 15, 2013

Fuck that.
posted by scratch at 8:46 PM on May 15, 2013

Got a joke, Do you know what you get when you cross a snake and a kangeroo? A jump rope.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:46 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Here is a trick: claim a letter five letters ahead, write, then submit when your letter comes up!
posted by onlyconnect at 8:47 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Me and my children have camped out here near M. You weirdos better not come close.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:47 PM on May 15, 2013

I don't think I can plan that far ahead.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:47 PM on May 15, 2013

Is that what you just did?
posted by third rail at 8:47 PM on May 15, 2013

I'll try that.
posted by rtha at 8:48 PM on May 15, 2013

Jugular. Just go for it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:49 PM on May 15, 2013

KTHXBAI
posted by scratch at 8:49 PM on May 15, 2013

Look, I planned ahead.
I will not apologise.
Good haiku takes time.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:50 PM on May 15, 2013

My god, why are all these left footed people camped at M?
posted by donnagirl at 8:50 PM on May 15, 2013 [5 favorites]

"Na na na na, hey hey, goodbye."
posted by Lynsey at 8:51 PM on May 15, 2013

Oh? I hadn't noticed.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:52 PM on May 15, 2013

Pants are what all the hip mefites are wearing these days.
posted by rtha at 8:52 PM on May 15, 2013

Pay attention.
posted by scratch at 8:52 PM on May 15, 2013

Quelling the pantless MeFi rebellion is my whole purpose these days.
posted by donnagirl at 8:54 PM on May 15, 2013

Quotes from the edge.
posted by arcticseal at 8:54 PM on May 15, 2013

Rn't you glad I didn't say banana?
posted by Sys Rq at 8:56 PM on May 15, 2013

Sys Rq did not say banana.
posted by scratch at 8:57 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

That is not true.
posted by donnagirl at 8:58 PM on May 15, 2013

Really, he did not say banana.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:58 PM on May 15, 2013

Uncle!
posted by scratch at 8:59 PM on May 15, 2013

Very clearly, he did.
posted by donnagirl at 9:01 PM on May 15, 2013

Vanya.
posted by third rail at 9:01 PM on May 15, 2013

What's the name of the magical land in those Piers Anthony novels?
posted by mokin at 9:01 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

We promised not to need the mods! NO FIGHTING!
posted by onlyconnect at 9:02 PM on May 15, 2013

Xanth, mokin. Thanks for asking.
posted by donnagirl at 9:04 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yes, that's it! Thanks.
posted by mokin at 9:05 PM on May 15, 2013

You can't fight in here! This. Is. META.
posted by rtha at 9:05 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Xanax? You have some?
posted by vrakatar at 9:05 PM on May 15, 2013

Zzzzzzzzzzz.
posted by scratch at 9:06 PM on May 15, 2013

Awake!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:08 PM on May 15, 2013

Banana is what Sys Rq did not say.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:09 PM on May 15, 2013

Can you believe we've been at this for five hours?
posted by donnagirl at 9:09 PM on May 15, 2013

Don't believe it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:10 PM on May 15, 2013

Eventually, I must go to bed.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:11 PM on May 15, 2013

Fortunately, others will be along to take our places.
posted by donnagirl at 9:12 PM on May 15, 2013

Good. Shall we away then?
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:13 PM on May 15, 2013

Hellz no! I have work to do. Don't leave me here aloooone!!
posted by Salamander at 9:14 PM on May 15, 2013

I would like to know whether twoleftfeet never used baby shoes.
posted by onlyconnect at 9:14 PM on May 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Just kidding. I did say banana.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:15 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Kangaroo has two 'a's, by the way. Also, I had pet kangaroos as a child.
posted by Salamander at 9:18 PM on May 15, 2013

Later
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:19 PM on May 15, 2013

Miss you!
posted by onlyconnect at 9:19 PM on May 15, 2013

Never have I taken more delight in MeTa.
posted by Phire at 9:20 PM on May 15, 2013

Out of the mouths of babes come baby shoes, if they put their foot in their mouth.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:22 PM on May 15, 2013 [4 favorites]

PENNIES
posted by Sys Rq at 9:23 PM on May 15, 2013

Quite.
posted by scrump at 9:25 PM on May 15, 2013

Quarters!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:25 PM on May 15, 2013

Rats. too slow
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:25 PM on May 15, 2013

Slightly.
posted by scrump at 9:26 PM on May 15, 2013

Slow, but not too slow.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:26 PM on May 15, 2013

Too slow.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:26 PM on May 15, 2013

Tragically.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:27 PM on May 15, 2013

Utterly.
posted by donnagirl at 9:27 PM on May 15, 2013

Very.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:28 PM on May 15, 2013

Weird. I am.
posted by Golden Eternity at 9:29 PM on May 15, 2013

Xanax helps.
posted by scrump at 9:30 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Y has this MeTa broken my "__ comments, show" function?
posted by onlyconnect at 9:30 PM on May 15, 2013

X-cruciating.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:31 PM on May 15, 2013

Zero-day exploit?
posted by scrump at 9:31 PM on May 15, 2013

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaRgh!
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:32 PM on May 15, 2013

BUTTS
posted by Snarl Furillo at 9:32 PM on May 15, 2013

Blargh.
posted by scrump at 9:32 PM on May 15, 2013

CURSES
posted by scrump at 9:32 PM on May 15, 2013

Dang, MoonOrb.
posted by scrump at 9:33 PM on May 15, 2013

Fine, be that way.
posted by scrump at 9:34 PM on May 15, 2013

Gonna lecture me about BUTTS, mister? I'll show you a moon orb.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 9:34 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Haters gonna hate...
posted by scrump at 9:34 PM on May 15, 2013

Just look at the size of that moon orb, though.
posted by scrump at 9:35 PM on May 15, 2013

Kindness will go a long way, folks.
posted by donnagirl at 9:36 PM on May 15, 2013

Lunch will go even farther, if you're buying.
posted by scrump at 9:37 PM on May 15, 2013

My, this is going downhill fast.
posted by arcticseal at 9:37 PM on May 15, 2013

MMM lunch
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:38 PM on May 15, 2013

MoonOrb, no takebacks! You're stuck with my moon orb whether you like it or not. Sorry!

...Sorry I'm not sorry that is! Mwahahahahahahaha.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 9:38 PM on May 15, 2013

No it isn't.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:38 PM on May 15, 2013

Oh yes it is
posted by scrump at 9:38 PM on May 15, 2013

Prove it.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:38 PM on May 15, 2013

Piffle
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:38 PM on May 15, 2013

~~How did improv get in my Metafilter?~~

~~"Keep playing! I missed the fun because I was out at improv class!" she said recursively~~

~~Moon orbs are pretty.~~

~~No more, my turn!~~

Quit posting already, I'm wasting good lines here!
posted by booksherpa at 9:39 PM on May 15, 2013

Quod erat demoonorbstrum
posted by scrump at 9:39 PM on May 15, 2013

Ramp it back, we're losing control.
posted by donnagirl at 9:40 PM on May 15, 2013

Sorry.
posted by scrump at 9:40 PM on May 15, 2013

Tsk.
posted by davejay at 9:42 PM on May 15, 2013

Urkel.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:42 PM on May 15, 2013

Viscosity.
posted by onlyconnect at 9:43 PM on May 15, 2013

May 15 2013, the day an infinite metarecursion devoured us all.

Well I always imagined it would be a criticality event, a single Metatalk thread in which everyone on the site flamed out. Sort of like this Monty Python sketch.
posted by XMLicious at 9:44 PM on May 15, 2013

Xerox my previous answer.

Y'all are welcome to go over to my open question and share your funny there. Please?

[I'm kinda shocked it has so few answers, really...]
posted by booksherpa at 9:45 PM on May 15, 2013

You should give us a link.
posted by donnagirl at 9:47 PM on May 15, 2013

Zounds, didn't want to be pushy....
posted by booksherpa at 9:50 PM on May 15, 2013

aaargh. I joined AA, but AAA had road service.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:52 PM on May 15, 2013

But then...
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:54 PM on May 15, 2013

Car accident?
posted by donnagirl at 9:55 PM on May 15, 2013

couldn't stay on the wagon.
posted by Golden Eternity at 9:57 PM on May 15, 2013

Don't dis AA. They're not totally anonymous.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:57 PM on May 15, 2013

Eventually, all good things must end. I am half asleep. Thanks for salvaging my day, friends.
posted by donnagirl at 10:01 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Everybody has a right to get high. It's in the Constitution, or the Declaration, or somewhere. Pursuit of Happiness. It's a fundamental principle. So pass the joint, dude. Really, pass the joint. It's in the Law, dude.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:01 PM on May 15, 2013

Everyone knows that.
posted by Edna Million at 10:01 PM on May 15, 2013

For a monent I thought that if I typed CTRL-F I could find anything. But I searched for true love and found nothing.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:06 PM on May 15, 2013

Goodnight.
posted by donnagirl at 10:07 PM on May 15, 2013

Hello tomorrow!
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:09 PM on May 15, 2013

I am -so- confused. I read this whole thread and I still don't understand why that post should be deleted.
posted by FritoKAL at 10:14 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

I love you all! Goodnight.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:14 PM on May 15, 2013

Jerk.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:14 PM on May 15, 2013

Kinda rude isn't that?
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:15 PM on May 15, 2013

LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU
posted by Sys Rq at 10:15 PM on May 15, 2013

Love you anyway.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:15 PM on May 15, 2013

Little bit.
posted by zamboni at 10:15 PM on May 15, 2013

Mostly.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:16 PM on May 15, 2013

Not!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:17 PM on May 15, 2013

No one would abuse the edit function in this thread, would they?
posted by zamboni at 10:17 PM on May 15, 2013

Please...
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:17 PM on May 15, 2013

Only 11 times, I swear.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:18 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Quit accusing!
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:18 PM on May 15, 2013

Right.
posted by zamboni at 10:19 PM on May 15, 2013

RRRR don't know my ABCs
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:19 PM on May 15, 2013

So I see.
posted by zamboni at 10:20 PM on May 15, 2013

Stupid.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:20 PM on May 15, 2013

Ta ta
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:20 PM on May 15, 2013

Uh, am I here too late?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:28 PM on May 15, 2013

Very nearly.
posted by dg at 10:28 PM on May 15, 2013

What is the name of that superhero group that Wolverine is in?
posted by onlyconnect at 10:29 PM on May 15, 2013

Xtremely
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:29 PM on May 15, 2013

Yippee!
posted by zamboni at 10:29 PM on May 15, 2013

↓
posted by zamboni at 10:30 PM on May 15, 2013 [7 favorites]

Alright, I'll go back to the beginning... and why does 'beginning' start with a B?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:30 PM on May 15, 2013

Because it starts with a B
posted by dg at 10:31 PM on May 15, 2013

'Cause it just does.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:32 PM on May 15, 2013

Can I call your attention to the fact that we skipped Z?
posted by mokin at 10:32 PM on May 15, 2013

'Cause it's awesome
posted by Sys Rq at 10:32 PM on May 15, 2013

Don't think about it too much, you'll start to feel hinky.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:33 PM on May 15, 2013

Each according to his ability, to each according to his need
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:34 PM on May 15, 2013

Foolish me, I see what you did there, zamboni
posted by mokin at 10:36 PM on May 15, 2013

Good lord, are you lot still going?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:36 PM on May 15, 2013

Hey guys something has really been bothering me.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:38 PM on May 15, 2013

I would be interested in hearing about it.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:39 PM on May 15, 2013

I'm only here for the chicks. Most of you are chicks, right?
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:39 PM on May 15, 2013

Just me.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:40 PM on May 15, 2013

Kidding.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:40 PM on May 15, 2013

Look, just because it's trash day doesn't mean the neighborhood dog walkers should leave their poop in your empty trash can on the street, does it?
posted by onlyconnect at 10:40 PM on May 15, 2013

Maybe I mean their dog's poop, not human poop.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:41 PM on May 15, 2013

Not that I'm really 100% sure I guess.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:43 PM on May 15, 2013

Only how would they get their own poop so neatly in a bag?
posted by onlyconnect at 10:44 PM on May 15, 2013

Poop. Can we talk about poop some more?
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:45 PM on May 15, 2013

Poop?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:45 PM on May 15, 2013

Quickly, I'd imagine.
posted by Athanassiel at 10:45 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Quit it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:45 PM on May 15, 2013

Really, must we?
posted by dg at 10:46 PM on May 15, 2013

Sorry, that was a non sequitur.
posted by Athanassiel at 10:46 PM on May 15, 2013

Seriously...
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:47 PM on May 15, 2013

TL;DR
posted by Cranberry at 10:47 PM on May 15, 2013

Underwear!!!
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:48 PM on May 15, 2013

Very sorry about the digression, but it has really been bothering me a lot.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:48 PM on May 15, 2013

What has been bothering you?
posted by Cranberry at 10:49 PM on May 15, 2013

What Would Wendell Do?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:49 PM on May 15, 2013

Xanax. You need some.
posted by Athanassiel at 10:49 PM on May 15, 2013

Xylophone practice?
posted by Cranberry at 10:49 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zoned out, everyone?
posted by Cranberry at 10:50 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zero points on that X effort.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:50 PM on May 15, 2013

Argh! Doubled again.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:50 PM on May 15, 2013

You missed Y
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:51 PM on May 15, 2013

BUTT
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:51 PM on May 15, 2013

But what if..
posted by Ahab at 10:51 PM on May 15, 2013

You supplied it
posted by Cranberry at 10:51 PM on May 15, 2013

Come on people, let's get this back on track.
posted by Athanassiel at 10:54 PM on May 15, 2013

Doesn't anyone want to talk about my dog poop problem?
posted by onlyconnect at 10:54 PM on May 15, 2013

Flatulence.
posted by Athanassiel at 10:55 PM on May 15, 2013

Everyone (doesn't)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:55 PM on May 15, 2013

Effing flatulence.
posted by Athanassiel at 10:55 PM on May 15, 2013

Granted, it's bad manners to put their poop in your garbage can, but I'm not sure what's to be done about it. Maybe you could lock your garbage can? That would deter dog walkers and raccoons. Two for one.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 10:56 PM on May 15, 2013

Hmmmmm. Thanks.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:59 PM on May 15, 2013

I feel better. I think I just needed to see someone else agree it was poor form.
posted by onlyconnect at 11:01 PM on May 15, 2013

Jiggle my botbot.
posted by h00py at 11:02 PM on May 15, 2013

K9 poop is much more offensive than cat poop, really.
posted by Rumple at 11:07 PM on May 15, 2013

Litter boxes make cat poop easier.
posted by Athanassiel at 11:08 PM on May 15, 2013

Maybe this conversation will convinced my husband to get the cat litter out to the trashcan before the garbage trucks come.

No, I won't hold my breath.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:10 PM on May 15, 2013

On the other hand maybe you should hold your breath!
posted by onlyconnect at 11:12 PM on May 15, 2013

Peut-être.

Too close to poo talk. I'm going to wake up Jessamyn and make you have a serious discussion, whether you want to or not.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:16 PM on May 15, 2013

Quitter.
posted by Athanassiel at 11:19 PM on May 15, 2013

Really, please don't discuss Shit or Turds yet.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:21 PM on May 15, 2013

Ship Hattens.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:22 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Tom Hatten
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:23 PM on May 15, 2013

Underwear!!!!
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:24 PM on May 15, 2013

Very handy to have on under your pants, though Jon Hamm would disagree.
posted by onlyconnect at 11:26 PM on May 15, 2013

Wondering who Tom Hatten is/was? A great TV kids show host in LA in the 50s/60s. Did live sketching and introduced Popeye toons while wearing a sailor suit.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:27 PM on May 15, 2013

Xylene fumes make this thread much funnier.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:28 PM on May 15, 2013

ZUCCHINI FRIED

Ingredients
Olive oil, for frying
1 3/4 cups freshly grated Parmesan
1 1/2 cups panko (Japanese breadcrumbs)
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs
3 medium zucchini, cut into 3-inch long by 1/2-inch wide strips
Directions
Pour enough oil into a large frying pan to reach a depth of 2 inches. Heat the oil over medium heat until a deep-fry thermometer registers 350 degrees F.

Stir 1 1/2 cups Parmesan, the panko, and salt in a medium bowl to blend. Whisk the eggs in another medium bowl to blend. Working in batches, dip the zucchini in the eggs to coat completely and allow the excess egg to drip back into the bowl. Coat the zucchini in the panko mixture, patting to adhere and coat completely. Place the zucchini strips on a baking sheet.

When the oil is hot, working in batches, fry the zucchini sticks until they are golden brown, about 3 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the fried zucchini to paper towels and drain.

Arrange the fried zucchini on a platter. Sprinkle with the remaining Parmesan and serve.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:32 PM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Y not
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:33 PM on May 15, 2013

Aaaand so round we go again.
posted by adamvasco at 11:36 PM on May 15, 2013

Bit out of order there.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 11:36 PM on May 15, 2013

Chaos! Ys and Zs all over the place!
posted by ormondsacker at 11:38 PM on May 15, 2013

Damn, this thread is still going strong! Amazing.
posted by drinkyclown at 11:40 PM on May 15, 2013

Except it's not really amazing at all.
posted by dg at 11:42 PM on May 15, 2013

Fuggetaboutit.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:45 PM on May 15, 2013

Good morning!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:53 PM on May 15, 2013

Great thread if you're a masochist.
posted by Salamander at 11:53 PM on May 15, 2013

Huh. Not morning here.
posted by Salamander at 11:54 PM on May 15, 2013

Italian Squash. Lots of it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:55 PM on May 15, 2013

Just...on its own?
posted by Salamander at 11:55 PM on May 15, 2013

Kill...me...
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 11:57 PM on May 15, 2013

Let's not get dramatic, now.
posted by Salamander at 11:59 PM on May 15, 2013

Midnight on the West Coast
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:00 AM on May 16, 2013

Now is a great time to get dramatic.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:01 AM on May 16, 2013

Nice work if you're a masochist.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:01 AM on May 16, 2013

OMG I'm so fucking sick of Chrome's new broken CTRL+ENTER crap, I'm back to Firefox for now.
posted by lordaych at 12:02 AM on May 16, 2013

Okay, fine, be pedantic.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:02 AM on May 16, 2013

Oh, 3 pm here. How strange.
posted by Salamander at 12:02 AM on May 16, 2013

Pwnage, that was a long minute.
posted by lordaych at 12:03 AM on May 16, 2013

PM here
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:03 AM on May 16, 2013

Quick twoleftfeet, where are you?
posted by Salamander at 12:04 AM on May 16, 2013

Quiet before the European onslaught
posted by adamvasco at 12:04 AM on May 16, 2013

Right now?
posted by Salamander at 12:04 AM on May 16, 2013

So far away.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:05 AM on May 16, 2013

So, metafilter is on US west coast time? My post says 12:04 a.m.
posted by Salamander at 12:05 AM on May 16, 2013

Tso's chicken anyway, I was eating this mulchy burrito sandwich steak.
posted by lordaych at 12:05 AM on May 16, 2013

Trust me, I'm probably further.
posted by Salamander at 12:05 AM on May 16, 2013

Under the rainbow.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:06 AM on May 16, 2013

Uh...are burritos supposed to be mulchy?
posted by Salamander at 12:06 AM on May 16, 2013

Verily, I am not believing you.
posted by Salamander at 12:07 AM on May 16, 2013

Wily, wily one.
posted by Salamander at 12:08 AM on May 16, 2013

Well, better than mulch that's burrito-ey.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:08 AM on May 16, 2013

X-ray images are often captured with CCD technology.
posted by lordaych at 12:11 AM on May 16, 2013

Yeah, not morning here either
posted by dg at 12:12 AM on May 16, 2013

Zilch is how many fucks I give that it's late.
posted by lordaych at 12:13 AM on May 16, 2013

Actually, not only is it not morning, it's also tomorrow here.
posted by dg at 12:14 AM on May 16, 2013

Almost evening here.
posted by Athanassiel at 12:14 AM on May 16, 2013

Bang! The Aussies go in unison.
posted by Athanassiel at 12:15 AM on May 16, 2013

Clear as day, definitely not night. The cool breeze ruffles my hair. She walks towards the beach and the birds sing.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:16 AM on May 16, 2013

Downright poetic.
posted by lordaych at 12:17 AM on May 16, 2013

Egad. I have been posting from work, but now I must leave. Farewell all.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 12:18 AM on May 16, 2013

Farewell, consecutive-posts-per-minute streak.
posted by lordaych at 12:21 AM on May 16, 2013

Grey and rainy here -
Autumn has returned at last -
Leaves stuck to my shoes.
posted by Athanassiel at 12:22 AM on May 16, 2013

How did I miss this thread before it go 400+ comments?!
posted by barnacles at 12:24 AM on May 16, 2013

Is spring here but not so much Mediterranean sunshine today.
posted by adamvasco at 12:25 AM on May 16, 2013

Just proving Athanassiel right, I suppose.
posted by barnacles at 12:25 AM on May 16, 2013

Kierkegaard might suggest that your faith brought you to the thread at the moment you needed to be. Or not, I can't remember
posted by lordaych at 12:29 AM on May 16, 2013

Leaving it till after work, maybe?
posted by Athanassiel at 12:30 AM on May 16, 2013

Man, I should've said that I Kant remember...
posted by lordaych at 12:30 AM on May 16, 2013

Now everyone is too intimidated by your philosophy puns. Writing haiku is easier.
posted by Athanassiel at 12:40 AM on May 16, 2013

Oh dear. What have I wandered into...?
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 12:42 AM on May 16, 2013

Party time! Except we need some more players or we'll be accused of threadsitting.
posted by Athanassiel at 12:46 AM on May 16, 2013

Quietly, I post from my corner of the bus.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 12:48 AM on May 16, 2013

Returned! You couldn't stay away from the madness, could you?
posted by Athanassiel at 12:50 AM on May 16, 2013

The sex with hornet's nest was deleted while the blatcherism stayed? Tsk.
posted by telstar at 12:57 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Stop! Or my mom will shoot Buddha if she finds him on the road.
posted by lordaych at 12:57 AM on May 16, 2013

Unbelievable swappage event. That means I can double-up, which I'd otherwise not do
posted by lordaych at 12:58 AM on May 16, 2013

Very impressed at how long this has gone on, wow.
posted by emptythought at 12:58 AM on May 16, 2013

What? You mean it's not an endurance contest?
posted by Athanassiel at 12:59 AM on May 16, 2013

Xounds! emptythought is chillin' in the same two threads I'm reading live-style
posted by lordaych at 1:00 AM on May 16, 2013

X-treme commenting
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:01 AM on May 16, 2013

You know, i do have this ability to be everywhere at once on the internet somehow
posted by emptythought at 1:01 AM on May 16, 2013

Zounds! here we are again.
posted by adamvasco at 1:02 AM on May 16, 2013

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:03 AM on May 16, 2013

But that trick never works!
posted by Athanassiel at 1:04 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Be quiet, I'm trying to get some rest in here.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:04 AM on May 16, 2013

cool it, jeeze lol
posted by emptythought at 1:05 AM on May 16, 2013

Damn, Too-Ticky hears text llike we hear voices, each character ticks away with its own unique sound and a rhythmic cadence. It's maddening I would suppose. Bump, set...
posted by lordaych at 1:11 AM on May 16, 2013

Early bird gets the worm. Big profit from worms funds development into other bird enterprises. Bird conglomerate becomes multi-national. Bird makes billions. But bird is lost, despondent, without purpose. Still misses worm.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:13 AM on May 16, 2013

Finds worm farm in effort to get back to roots. Overcome with nostalgia, sticks beak into teeming masses of worm life. Arrested for tampering with product and becomes jailbird.
posted by Athanassiel at 1:15 AM on May 16, 2013

Gaolbird, I mean.
posted by Athanassiel at 1:16 AM on May 16, 2013

Halli-bird-ton
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:17 AM on May 16, 2013

insane thread - no idea what's going on. Just ordered pizza
posted by Packed Lunch at 1:18 AM on May 16, 2013

Just was gonna say "High and Hungry is what I am." Can you fax me a slice
posted by lordaych at 1:19 AM on May 16, 2013

Kind of want pizza, but also kinda want burgers. Why can't I order a pizza-burger?

I think it would be popular.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:22 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Lord almighty, i had the absolute king of burgers earlier. Bacon, double, with peanut butter.. And sweet potato fries, and a pina colada shake. I'm getting hungry again just thinking about it.
posted by emptythought at 1:27 AM on May 16, 2013

Mortal Kombat Pirate Yaarg Edition on an NES is an interesting proposition. Love that post...

As a I kid I yearned for the counterfeit SFII clone for regular NES (with 4 characters including Chun Li! And that's what matters!) that I saw in GamePro or some shit, this tiny 2.5x1.5" picture or whatever with a little blurb, I'll have to find it there...could've found it instead of typing about it, but hey.

My parents would never get me the SNES or take me to Disneyland despite promising to take me there after the war my dad went to during which I acquired the NES, and yet still no SNES. WTF parents, this is the first world FFS.

        .-"-.            .-"-.            .-"-.           .-"-.
      _/_-.-_\_        _/.-.-.\_        _/.-.-.\_       _/.-.-.\_
     / __} {__ \      /|( o o )|\      ( ( o o ) )     ( ( o o ) )
    / //  "  \\ \    | //  "  \\ |      |/  "  \|       |/  "  \|
   / / \'---'/ \ \  / / \'---'/ \ \      \'/^\'/         \ .-. /
   \ \_/`"""`\_/ /  \ \_/`"""`\_/ /      /`\ /`\         /`"""`\
jgs \           /    \           /      /  /|\  \       /       \
 -={ see no evil }={ hear no evil }={ speak no evil }={ have no fun }=-

posted by lordaych at 1:28 AM on May 16, 2013

Now I'm thinking that the one on the left looks like a burger. I'm so fucking hungry. Sorry. I have a bag of Cheetos here. I'll get back to you.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:31 AM on May 16, 2013

Oh man...those Monkeys came from this epically astonishingly amazing Geocities page. Music and everything, everything you want in your Geocities page. Except RealPlayer?

Hahahaha

-=[ orangutan/gorilla or some other type of monkey ]=-  2/97

                  ."`".
              .-./ _=_ \.-.
             {  (,(oYo),) }}
             {{ |   "   |} }
             { { \(---)/  }}
             {{  }'-=-'{ } }
             { { }._:_.{  }}
             {{  } -:- { } }
       jgs   {_{ }`===`{  _}
            ((((\)     (/))))

posted by lordaych at 1:31 AM on May 16, 2013

Pizza-wing burgers with some pizza shooter nacho cheetah tacos and extreme fajita alabama slamma jammas sound about right actually.
posted by lordaych at 1:34 AM on May 16, 2013

quod erat yumyumyum
posted by Namlit at 1:35 AM on May 16, 2013

Qholesterol
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:40 AM on May 16, 2013

Relativity! You've been traveling back and forth, through thyme! And sage
posted by lordaych at 1:41 AM on May 16, 2013

Sage wisdom.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:44 AM on May 16, 2013

Time to order some pizza! It's like you were putting your thoughts in my head while I fed the cat etc etc.
posted by Athanassiel at 1:47 AM on May 16, 2013

Unless you link to cat pics your comment is void.
posted by Mizu at 1:48 AM on May 16, 2013

Void? This means war!
posted by Athanassiel at 1:51 AM on May 16, 2013

Video or it didn"t happen.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:52 AM on May 16, 2013

What the....cats in my alphabet!
posted by adamvasco at 1:53 AM on May 16, 2013

You can cure that by removing all cat hairs. These are hard to detect, but many hospitals offer cat-scans.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:56 AM on May 16, 2013

Oh, get an X-ray first.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:57 AM on May 16, 2013

zhit.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:59 AM on May 16, 2013

And somehow we've worked our way back round again. Fair warning, I'm stopping when the pizza gets here.
posted by Athanassiel at 2:01 AM on May 16, 2013

Alphabet issues, 2LF?
posted by Hobo at 2:01 AM on May 16, 2013

Back off, we've all done it. I have anyway. Just like double-ups, it's inevitable.
posted by Athanassiel at 2:06 AM on May 16, 2013

Criticism not intended.
posted by Hobo at 2:08 AM on May 16, 2013

Don't worry, I only sounded aggressive to fit in with the theme. This is actually my attitude.
posted by Athanassiel at 2:15 AM on May 16, 2013

Er.... Recently I was pulled over by the police and they demanded that I do a field sobriety test, on the suspicion that I was driving under the influence of alcohol. I wasn't drunk. But I was flying my head off on LSD.

"Officer," I said, "I'm not drunk. Ordinary tests for drunkenness don't apply. I demand that you administer a field hallucinogen test."

The officer seemed confused by this request, and insisted on performing the field sobriety test for alcohol. "Recite the letters of the alphabet backwards," he said.

I recited them in four different languages, all the while merging my base consciousness with the underlying pinpoint of galactic well-being.

He wasn't impressed, and ended up charging me with a DUI.

I think that more of our police should become aware of galactic consciousness, but my lawyer tells me that this won't play well in court.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:28 AM on May 16, 2013

Feet, maybe you need a multilingual galactic lawyer?
posted by iamkimiam at 2:38 AM on May 16, 2013

God is my lawyer. He knows Right from Wrong. He knows what is Just.

But he's kind of messed up, still litigating a wrongful death suit involving his son.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:45 AM on May 16, 2013

Heaven is a courtroom, then?
posted by iamkimiam at 2:48 AM on May 16, 2013

It is, but one where nothing ever happens.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:49 AM on May 16, 2013 [2 favorites]

Judge not, that ye be not judged.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:56 AM on May 16, 2013

Keroppi Hasunoue (はすの上けろっぴ Hasunoue Keroppi) (Also known as Kerokerokeroppi) is a frog character with large eyes and a V-shaped mouth. Keroppi loves adventure, and his bubbly personality makes him popular around Donut Pond. He has a brother called Koroppi and a sister called Pikki. Most often he is seen with his little snail friend Den Den, always tagging along a little behind. Keroppi is a fantastic swimmer and singer (but not at the same time.) Keroppi has appeared in video games like: Kero Kero Keroppi no Bouken Nikki, Kero Kero Keroppi no Daibouken, and Sanrio World Smash Ball!. Keroppi was created in 1987 and his birthday is on July 10. His hometown is Donut Pond and he lives in the Kero Kero House. Some of Keroppi's friends include Keroleen, Noberun, Kyorosuke, Ganta, and Keroppe, Den Den, and Teru Teru. His mom named Keroma owns a small restaurant and cooks Keroppi's favorite food-rice balls. His dad is named Keropa and he works at the Hasunoe Clinic with another doctor from Sanrio's Pokopon's Diary. Other family members include Kerobah-Keroppi's grandma, Kerojee-Keroppi's grandpa, and Chippi-Keroppi's little cousins. Kero means frog's croak and Hasunoe means on a lily pad.
posted by zarq at 3:09 AM on May 16, 2013

Let me see is this going to be a return to recipies now?
posted by adamvasco at 3:11 AM on May 16, 2013

My pizza was really yummy. I could try to write down the recipe for it, but I didn't make it.
posted by Athanassiel at 3:12 AM on May 16, 2013

No recipe from me, just huuuuugs
posted by greenish at 3:23 AM on May 16, 2013

Oh my gosh I finally have all my linens and fabric packed!
posted by bardophile at 3:35 AM on May 16, 2013

Packing is the pits.
posted by bardophile at 3:36 AM on May 16, 2013

Question: How much longer will you all be able to keep this up?
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:40 AM on May 16, 2013

risible - forever!
posted by Packed Lunch at 3:42 AM on May 16, 2013

Rather difficult to tell at this point.
posted by bardophile at 3:42 AM on May 16, 2013

Shucks.
posted by bardophile at 3:43 AM on May 16, 2013

Taking a break from boxes and steel trunks.
posted by bardophile at 3:43 AM on May 16, 2013

Under what circumstances is it ok to toss kid's toys without telling him?
posted by bardophile at 3:44 AM on May 16, 2013

Verily you are going back to the land of Qawalli after so long.
posted by adamvasco at 3:44 AM on May 16, 2013

Walking away from the UAE...yay!
posted by bardophile at 3:46 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Xylophones announcing the end of this thread
posted by Namlit at 3:48 AM on May 16, 2013

You are mistaken
posted by bardophile at 3:50 AM on May 16, 2013

Ze hearing aids are not functionigue
posted by Namlit at 3:52 AM on May 16, 2013

And I missed all the fun. :(
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:52 AM on May 16, 2013

Be gone with the Xylophone I say.
posted by adamvasco at 3:53 AM on May 16, 2013

Clearly a music hater
posted by Namlit at 3:53 AM on May 16, 2013

Doomed to teach. Goodbye (harpsichord, in fact, not xylophone)
posted by Namlit at 3:56 AM on May 16, 2013

Everyone sure is up early today. Or have you been up all night playing this silly game?!
posted by Grither at 3:58 AM on May 16, 2013

Everyone makes mistakes. Cheer up.
posted by bardophile at 3:58 AM on May 16, 2013

Far away is the land I live. 2pm here.
posted by bardophile at 3:59 AM on May 16, 2013

Gotta flag a lot of comments in here for duplicating letters, aka breaking the guidelines.
posted by dogwalker at 4:02 AM on May 16, 2013

Hoping for an Oulipo game?
posted by adamvasco at 4:03 AM on May 16, 2013

I dunno, geographically, the merciless sun dictates the time @ 23:00
posted by Packed Lunch at 4:03 AM on May 16, 2013

just here though
posted by Packed Lunch at 4:04 AM on May 16, 2013

Kale Soup all packed for work. Yes!
posted by kinetic at 4:06 AM on May 16, 2013

Lethargic.
posted by adamvasco at 4:14 AM on May 16, 2013

Maybe someone can think of a new game to play. I mean, sure, alphabets, been there done that
posted by ook at 4:25 AM on May 16, 2013

NEVER
posted by Elementary Penguin at 4:26 AM on May 16, 2013

Oh well, it was worth a try
posted by ook at 4:26 AM on May 16, 2013

Press on!
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:31 AM on May 16, 2013

quixotically I was going to start with a number
posted by Packed Lunch at 4:34 AM on May 16, 2013

See, it's just that now I'm looking for alphabets in all the other threads and it's very distracting
posted by ook at 4:42 AM on May 16, 2013

Tetris shapes in ceiling tiles all over again.
posted by houseofdanie at 4:48 AM on May 16, 2013

Usually it's best to wait for a long skinny piece and take out four lines at once.
posted by dogwalker at 4:50 AM on May 16, 2013

Very strange that it's been nearly 20 minutes since this thread was updated. I think people must be losing momentum.
posted by Athanassiel at 5:06 AM on May 16, 2013

Zounds!
posted by dg at 5:09 AM on May 16, 2013

We did that.
Xcommunicate the heretic.
Youseless upstart.
posted by adamvasco at 5:10 AM on May 16, 2013

What are you doing, dg? The bus will explode if we don't keep going in alphabetical order!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 5:11 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

And now I need to make amends.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 5:12 AM on May 16, 2013

Zounds V2
posted by Packed Lunch at 5:12 AM on May 16, 2013

Blast you Brandon Blatcher for buggering up the best part of my day.
.... also not enough tags.
posted by adamvasco at 5:12 AM on May 16, 2013

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
posted by Elementary Penguin at 5:12 AM on May 16, 2013

Call Mom, quick! She can delete all these people who skip letters. And the infinitely recursive alphabet.
posted by Athanassiel at 5:13 AM on May 16, 2013

...bs in 60 minutes a day with P90X, starring the one and only Tony Horton!
posted by Rory Marinich at 5:13 AM on May 16, 2013

Damn it! Forgot my alphabet there for a moment
posted by dg at 5:13 AM on May 16, 2013

Dammit.
posted by Rory Marinich at 5:14 AM on May 16, 2013

Edit: Jinx!
posted by Rory Marinich at 5:14 AM on May 16, 2013

Foresight would be wonderful in this game
posted by dg at 5:15 AM on May 16, 2013

Gone like the missing days of September 1752, never to return again.
posted by Athanassiel at 5:15 AM on May 16, 2013

Having the edit button saved me that time.
posted by Athanassiel at 5:20 AM on May 16, 2013

Have to think of a sequitur, have to think of a sequitur, too many non sequiturs
posted by ook at 5:20 AM on May 16, 2013

It's tough isn't it.
posted by fleacircus at 5:21 AM on May 16, 2013

Jeez, head away for a few hours and folks go crazy!
posted by barnacles at 5:23 AM on May 16, 2013

jelly? no!
posted by Packed Lunch at 5:23 AM on May 16, 2013

Jolly tough, yes
posted by dg at 5:23 AM on May 16, 2013

Krap!
posted by dg at 5:23 AM on May 16, 2013

Lolz
posted by barnacles at 5:24 AM on May 16, 2013

Maybe we should go back to the haiku. Not starting here.
posted by Athanassiel at 5:25 AM on May 16, 2013

No haiku, said I
"But barnacles!" you hollered
"We loves them, we do :("
posted by barnacles at 5:26 AM on May 16, 2013

Okay, that sucked.
posted by barnacles at 5:27 AM on May 16, 2013

Probably better than I could do, though.
posted by dg at 5:28 AM on May 16, 2013

Quoting other people's poetry seems to work when all else fails. But I think it's too late for me to come up with anything original myself.
posted by Athanassiel at 5:30 AM on May 16, 2013

rub some sun beach day.
Sun on beach burns the skin some.
Oil of Olay fail
posted by Packed Lunch at 5:32 AM on May 16, 2013

Sunny morning and I see we're still going.
posted by arcticseal at 5:36 AM on May 16, 2013

Someone turns over
in their grave, unbelieving
how can they do this?
posted by Athanassiel at 5:36 AM on May 16, 2013

Twenty-four hours
it has not yet been; besides
here it is nighttime.
posted by Athanassiel at 5:38 AM on May 16, 2013

Urine incident in aisle three.
posted by Wordshore at 5:43 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Versatile shamwow will solve that problem. Also, nuts.
posted by arcticseal at 5:45 AM on May 16, 2013

What does a favewhore have to do to turn a trick around here?
posted by flabdablet at 5:46 AM on May 16, 2013

Xemplary!
posted by Athanassiel at 5:49 AM on May 16, 2013

You pretty much have to do it just like they do it in town, I think.
posted by fleacircus at 5:50 AM on May 16, 2013

Zinnia between your teeth, come-hither look in your eye...
posted by Athanassiel at 5:51 AM on May 16, 2013

Acrostic sonnets are just not going to cut it, I guess.
posted by flabdablet at 5:54 AM on May 16, 2013

Butt of Mod.
posted by Wordshore at 5:54 AM on May 16, 2013

Cannes film festival = rain

Do keep that in mind when planning visits to the Riviera
posted by fraula at 5:57 AM on May 16, 2013

Crivens!
posted by ersatz at 5:57 AM on May 16, 2013

Damn.
posted by ersatz at 5:57 AM on May 16, 2013

Enfin...
posted by fraula at 5:58 AM on May 16, 2013

French people say that when they see a shark.
posted by fleacircus at 6:08 AM on May 16, 2013 [2 favorites]

Yokohama Rubber Down On Profit-Taking
posted by 256 at 6:10 AM on May 16, 2013

Good lord, why is this still happening?
posted by Lizard at 6:11 AM on May 16, 2013

How are we meant to stop?
posted by Athanassiel at 6:12 AM on May 16, 2013

I too am in this thread.
posted by Jofus at 6:12 AM on May 16, 2013

Jofus finally got here! Hooray!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:14 AM on May 16, 2013

Kudos for him.
posted by adamvasco at 6:17 AM on May 16, 2013

Lawsy, lawsy, lawsy. An all-nighter.
posted by Mooski at 6:28 AM on May 16, 2013

My word.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:33 AM on May 16, 2013

Not everybody has midnight you know. Some of us are goofing off from work.
posted by Dr Dracator at 6:38 AM on May 16, 2013

↓
posted by onlyconnect at 6:38 AM on May 16, 2013

Oooooooooooooweyoooo Oooooooooweyoooooo
posted by greenish at 6:40 AM on May 16, 2013

Passing the torch on to those of you goofing off, staying up late, and whatever other times of day it is where you all live. If this is still going tomorrow morning I may join in again.
posted by Athanassiel at 6:41 AM on May 16, 2013

Queens of the Stone Age new album, can't wait.
posted by mean cheez at 6:42 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Regents of the Pleistocene Era!
posted by onlyconnect at 6:46 AM on May 16, 2013

Soooo, this is still happening?! That makes me happy.
posted by donnagirl at 6:48 AM on May 16, 2013

The Exterminating Angel reminds me of this party.
posted by third rail at 6:51 AM on May 16, 2013

"Unless I miss my guess," I thought, "they're still at it." And here you all are.
posted by .kobayashi. at 6:52 AM on May 16, 2013

Very late here. I'm going to bed. Goodnight all!
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:53 AM on May 16, 2013

Why of course, this will certainly be going tomorrow.
posted by arcticseal at 6:56 AM on May 16, 2013

Wow, this looks like fun!
posted by snorkmaiden at 6:57 AM on May 16, 2013

yaaaaawn
posted by Namlit at 7:00 AM on May 16, 2013

Zzzzzz
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:01 AM on May 16, 2013

All right, new round. Dvorak order! Go!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:01 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

But I don't know what that is...
posted by Night_owl at 7:04 AM on May 16, 2013

Can't we do QWERTY?
posted by snorkmaiden at 7:04 AM on May 16, 2013

Dvorak wrote a lot of stuff that isn't the New World Symphony you know - the 8th is pretty great for example.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:06 AM on May 16, 2013

Exhausted. Stayed up late to watch new Trek movie
posted by pointystick at 7:12 AM on May 16, 2013

I'm interested pointystick - any insights into the film? Should we see it?
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:14 AM on May 16, 2013

Good morning MetaFilter.

How was the movie?
posted by Golden Eternity at 7:15 AM on May 16, 2013

Ffs guys.
posted by Night_owl at 7:15 AM on May 16, 2013

Good grief, I apparently forgot the alphabet last night while I slept.
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:16 AM on May 16, 2013

Harm, I have done. How to help this?
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:17 AM on May 16, 2013

I'm still interested pointystick - any insights into the film?
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:18 AM on May 16, 2013

Just waiting to type KHAAAAN.
posted by fleacircus at 7:18 AM on May 16, 2013

KHAAAAN
posted by fleacircus at 7:18 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Look, a Metatalk thread with 600+ comments...what the fuck happened last night? Oh." -

my thought process just now.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:20 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Might we wish to start asking questions?
posted by beryllium at 7:22 AM on May 16, 2013

Not really?
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:23 AM on May 16, 2013

Only if we also give answers.
posted by donnagirl at 7:24 AM on May 16, 2013

Probably a hiding to nothing.
posted by Jofus at 7:25 AM on May 16, 2013

Quite possibly this is the longest thread with the fewest favourites ever. No?
posted by Sebmojo at 7:26 AM on May 16, 2013

Questions have been asked already.
posted by snorkmaiden at 7:26 AM on May 16, 2013

Repeating letters is not ok
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:29 AM on May 16, 2013

Seriously.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:31 AM on May 16, 2013

Ten thousand comments before the thread closes?
posted by Wordshore at 7:34 AM on May 16, 2013

Ugh! I had a great s word!
posted by Night_owl at 7:35 AM on May 16, 2013

Vexatiously, we have still to hear a review of the Trek movie.
posted by arcticseal at 7:36 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

What's all this about a Trek movie? (Though I was kind of turned off by the last one - I'm tired of reboots).
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:38 AM on May 16, 2013

Xylophones may have been used on the soundtrack. Maybe.
posted by snorkmaiden at 7:39 AM on May 16, 2013

Yeah, is it worth hiring a babysitter to see? My wife and I loved the last one.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:42 AM on May 16, 2013

Word.
posted by Night_owl at 7:42 AM on May 16, 2013

Yet another xylophone comment - couldn't you do something with xerography, or the mighty Xerxes?
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:42 AM on May 16, 2013

Zachary Quinto actually took xylophone lessons so he could play them accurately in the pon farr orgy scenes, so it's okay this time.
posted by fleacircus at 7:44 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ack, must have been asleep at the wheel.
posted by Night_owl at 7:44 AM on May 16, 2013

Behold, the thread that keeps on giving!
posted by Wordshore at 7:50 AM on May 16, 2013

Copious counts of comments.
posted by arcticseal at 7:51 AM on May 16, 2013

Didn't see Star Trek Into Darkness yet, but Zachary Quinto has maybe the best possible name for an alphabet thread on the topic.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:51 AM on May 16, 2013 [6 favorites]

Everybody taking part in this is very, very silly.
posted by MartinWisse at 7:54 AM on May 16, 2013

For sure.
posted by donnagirl at 7:54 AM on May 16, 2013

Grabthar's hammered dulcimer can also be heard on some tracks.
posted by fleacircus at 7:57 AM on May 16, 2013

Jasika Nicole!
posted by clavdivs at 7:59 AM on May 16, 2013

IANYD, but ER NOW EVERYONE.
posted by third rail at 7:59 AM on May 16, 2013

Hastily.
posted by third rail at 7:59 AM on May 16, 2013

Knowledge of the alphabet's order seems a little sketchy around here.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:02 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Going backwards, now?
posted by Elementary Penguin at 8:02 AM on May 16, 2013

Letters getting messed up. Thankfully the edit function!
posted by Wordshore at 8:03 AM on May 16, 2013

The Hastily Cobbled Together for a Fast Buck Album?
posted by clavdivs at 8:03 AM on May 16, 2013

Lag seems to be interfering? Or maybe this just gross incompetence.
posted by snorkmaiden at 8:04 AM on May 16, 2013

MetaFilter alphabet game: every time you put a letter out of place, a kitten goes without a hug.
posted by Wordshore at 8:05 AM on May 16, 2013

Not fast enough, was going to write "MrMoonPie loves the alphabet game."
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:06 AM on May 16, 2013

Other than this, all I got going on is rain.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 8:08 AM on May 16, 2013

pointystick isn't going to tell us about the movie is she
posted by fleacircus at 8:08 AM on May 16, 2013

Quickly, posting comments is back on track.
posted by Wordshore at 8:08 AM on May 16, 2013

Ready? Go!
posted by QueerAngel28 at 8:09 AM on May 16, 2013

QueerAngel28, did your name count for Q?
posted by third rail at 8:10 AM on May 16, 2013

Semen soup had better be a typo on the menu.
posted by Wordshore at 8:10 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Sorry, slow load.
posted by third rail at 8:10 AM on May 16, 2013

This is a good time to say that preview is your friend.
posted by donnagirl at 8:11 AM on May 16, 2013

ultra edits are good too.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 8:12 AM on May 16, 2013

Verily.... The Jinmoti of Bozlen Two kill the hereditary ritual assassins of the new Yearking's immediate family by drowning them in the tears of the Continental Empathaur in its Sadness Season.
posted by zarq at 8:12 AM on May 16, 2013

YAY EDIT WINDOW FTW
posted by zarq at 8:13 AM on May 16, 2013

X-starting words are more frequent than you may think.
posted by Wordshore at 8:14 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Why did that appear in the wrong order? :(
posted by Wordshore at 8:14 AM on May 16, 2013

Zoo animals can't read.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 8:19 AM on May 16, 2013

Xenophon, the great historian said that
Youth should progress and not retread old ground.
Zounds, since we are back on track, let's continue.
posted by ersatz at 8:19 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ah, fooled once again.
posted by ersatz at 8:20 AM on May 16, 2013

Better than being dead
posted by QueerAngel28 at 8:21 AM on May 16, 2013

Can this be an addiction?
posted by third rail at 8:22 AM on May 16, 2013

Doubtful!
posted by barnacles at 8:22 AM on May 16, 2013

Enough! just kidding
posted by QueerAngel28 at 8:23 AM on May 16, 2013

Feels eerily similar to an addiction, though!
posted by snorkmaiden at 8:24 AM on May 16, 2013

Got any good, unique cocktail recipes, anyone?
posted by barnacles at 8:30 AM on May 16, 2013

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd, lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo!
posted by Wordshore at 8:31 AM on May 16, 2013

(Ingredient quantities must be in alphabetical order, and also descending from largest to smallest amount.)
posted by snorkmaiden at 8:32 AM on May 16, 2013

Kant was a real pissant.
posted by Kabanos at 8:34 AM on May 16, 2013

Look at it as a challenge!
posted by snorkmaiden at 8:35 AM on May 16, 2013

Let's talk about Star Trek some more, then -- but this time, the animated series!
posted by barnacles at 8:36 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Motion was pretty limited for a series called 'animated.'
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:43 AM on May 16, 2013

My goodness, I walk away for just a few hours and...
posted by WidgetAlley at 8:43 AM on May 16, 2013

...now here we are at N again.
posted by snorkmaiden at 8:45 AM on May 16, 2013

Oh what a dilemma.
posted by Ahab at 8:45 AM on May 16, 2013

Pickled pigs feet are gross. Do not eat them.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 8:48 AM on May 16, 2013

Perhaps the next round should be alphabetical by username.
posted by ook at 8:48 AM on May 16, 2013

Question, can we switch to alphabet combination question game?
posted by midmarch snowman at 8:49 AM on May 16, 2013

Really?
posted by ook at 8:49 AM on May 16, 2013

So, ook... what if the username and the sentence start with the same letter?
posted by snorkmaiden at 8:50 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

That would score double points, wouldn't it?
posted by ook at 8:51 AM on May 16, 2013

Using which scoring system?
posted by midmarch snowman at 8:52 AM on May 16, 2013

V-nobody wants V
posted by QueerAngel28 at 8:53 AM on May 16, 2013

What? I don't remember the rest. Anyone?
posted by RichardP at 8:53 AM on May 16, 2013

Xerxes makes it all up and writes it on the scoreboard, right?
posted by snorkmaiden at 8:55 AM on May 16, 2013

You forget about the new question rule?
posted by midmarch snowman at 8:56 AM on May 16, 2013

You forgot to ask a question, I think?
posted by Elementary Penguin at 8:56 AM on May 16, 2013

Zeus, not Xerxes, unless I'm remembering it wrong?
posted by donnagirl at 8:59 AM on May 16, 2013

Any chance the Warriors beat the Spurs in games 6 and 7 and move on?
posted by Golden Eternity at 9:01 AM on May 16, 2013

ButterBall.
posted by Wordshore at 9:03 AM on May 16, 2013

Can you really hope for that?
posted by Night_owl at 9:03 AM on May 16, 2013

Don't stop the cat pics!
posted by barnacles at 9:04 AM on May 16, 2013

Eminent sources of cat pictures: what are they?
posted by beryllium at 9:05 AM on May 16, 2013

Flickr, of course!
posted by barnacles at 9:06 AM on May 16, 2013

Great, I was just complaining about the lack of cat pictures on the internet.
posted by antonymous at 9:19 AM on May 16, 2013 [2 favorites]

Hello kitty.
posted by Wordshore at 9:23 AM on May 16, 2013

Jibed Rosencrantz: "Twenty-seven — three, and you think he might have had the edge?!"

do interrobangs count as questions?
posted by beryllium at 9:29 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Kinda sketchy, but I think they count.
posted by donnagirl at 9:30 AM on May 16, 2013

Last night I drank with a Mod. This morning I woke up in an unfamiliar room, in an unfamiliar house, in an unfamiliar city.
posted by Wordshore at 9:32 AM on May 16, 2013

"My kidneys? Where are my kidneys?!?"
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:41 AM on May 16, 2013 [2 favorites]

Not where they were last night, apparently!?
posted by snorkmaiden at 9:43 AM on May 16, 2013

Oops, were those yours that I put in this recipe:

MrMoonPie Kidney Pie

Ingredients:
Pastry for 9-inch (23 cm) double-crust pie
Filling:1 MrMoonPie kidney, trimmed (1/2 lb/250 g)
1 tbsp (15 mL) vegetable oil
1 lb (454 g) lean minced beef
1 onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup (125 mL) finely chopped celery
2 potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 cup (250 mL) beef stock
1/4 cup (60 mL) minced fresh parsley
1 tbsp (15 mL) Worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp (2 mL) dried sage
1/2 tsp (2 mL) salt
1/4 tsp (1 mL) pepper
1 tbsp (15 mL) all-purpose flour
1 tbsp (15 mL) butter

Glaze:
1 egg yolk
1 tbsp (15 mL) water

Preparation:
Pastry for 9-inch (23 cm) double-crust pie.

Filling:Cut kidney into 1/2-inch (1 cm) cubes. In bowl, cover kidney with cold water; let soak for 1 hour. Drain well and pat dry.

In large skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat; brown kidney and beef, stirring frequently to break up beef. Add onion and celery; cook for 3 minutes or until softened. Drain off any fat.

Transfer meat mixture to saucepan. Add potatoes, stock, parsley, Worcestershire sauce, sage, salt and pepper; bring to boil. Cover tightly and reduce heat to low; simmer for 1 hour or until kidney is tender.

Blend together flour and butter; stir into meat mixture and cook, stirring, for 2 to 3 minutes or until thickened. Taste and adjust seasoning if necessary. Let cool.

Roll out bottom pastry and fit into 9-inch (23 cm) pie plate; do not trim. Roll out top pastry. Spoon filling into pie shell. Moisten rim of shell and cover with top pastry. Trim and flute edge.

Glaze: Mix together egg yolk and water; brush over pastry. Cut steam vents in top. Bake in 425°F (220°C) oven for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 350°F (180°C) and bake for about 35 minutes longer or until filling steams and pastry is golden.

??????????
posted by Kabanos at 9:49 AM on May 16, 2013 [2 favorites]

Oh, is now my chance to score double points? Or is someone going to sneak in ahead of me with a recipe? (And does anyone mind if I totally abuse the edit feature in this thread only?)
posted by ook at 9:49 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

point multipliers can be reactivated only after a waiting period of 24 hours, thanks
posted by mean cheez at 9:51 AM on May 16, 2013

Really.
posted by Kabanos at 9:54 AM on May 16, 2013

So I haven't checked MeTa in a few days, what have I missed?
posted by yellowbinder at 10:01 AM on May 16, 2013

Surely you can't be serious.
posted by zarq at 10:01 AM on May 16, 2013

Thpbpbptpbptphttt!
posted by zarq at 10:02 AM on May 16, 2013

Under whose authority are you posting such nonsense?
posted by midmarch snowman at 10:07 AM on May 16, 2013

Viagra of the Soul: MetaFilter
posted by Wordshore at 10:08 AM on May 16, 2013

What do I have to do to get this thread back on track?
posted by midmarch snowman at 10:10 AM on May 16, 2013

Xanthic zounds, you want a veritable track under some besotted reified conception dourly quidnuncking existence?!
posted by beryllium at 10:15 AM on May 16, 2013

Good heavens, I go away for a day due to a family crisis, and this is what you get up to? The mods have my sympathy.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:17 AM on May 16, 2013

Zany idea, that.
posted by snorkmaiden at 10:17 AM on May 16, 2013

And the cycle of life begins anew...
posted by Wordshore at 10:19 AM on May 16, 2013

But for how long?
posted by yellowbinder at 10:19 AM on May 16, 2013

Centuries, probably. Or at least hours.
posted by snorkmaiden at 10:20 AM on May 16, 2013

Does anyone *really* know what time it is?
posted by sonika at 10:23 AM on May 16, 2013

Don't know how to play the alphabet game, GenjiandProust?
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:23 AM on May 16, 2013

"Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way to fit 5000 species of mammal on the same boat!"
posted by zarq at 10:23 AM on May 16, 2013

From what Jessamyn said, we can proceed as long as we promise not to need mod intervention, so I guess now is the right time and place to discuss abortion, Bengazi, creepiness, denial of climate change, education loans, feline claw removal, Gaza, housing crisis politics, Isreal-Palestine, jokes about hot topic issues...right?
posted by midmarch snowman at 10:25 AM on May 16, 2013

Guess so, it's not.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:26 AM on May 16, 2013 [2 favorites]

Heh; I do so love the elegant and simple mod smackdowns.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:27 AM on May 16, 2013

It's like she has some preternatural spider-sense that triggers when her name is mentioned in a metatalk thread.
posted by zarq at 10:28 AM on May 16, 2013

You guys skipped "Y". It's like poking at a loose tooth, I can't leave the gap unfilled.
posted by ook at 10:29 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Just remember.... it's SOMETIMES "Y".
posted by zarq at 10:30 AM on May 16, 2013 [7 favorites]

Krap: my 'Jessamyn? Psychic-Mod' comment was seconds too late.
posted by Wordshore at 10:30 AM on May 16, 2013

Lunchtime here in Chicago.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:35 AM on May 16, 2013

Mmmmmm, lunch. Good idea.
posted by ook at 10:36 AM on May 16, 2013

Nom
posted by Wordshore at 10:36 AM on May 16, 2013

Not time yet here on the West Coast.
posted by tangerine at 10:37 AM on May 16, 2013

Overheard in the courtyard: "I don't know if I want a man or a woman."
posted by sonika at 10:38 AM on May 16, 2013

Over here in the East, it was ages ago.
posted by snorkmaiden at 10:38 AM on May 16, 2013

PB anxiously watches the number of comments rise on this thread, distantly remembering something in the installation manual about it defaulting into a gopher server when a certain threshold is reached...
posted by Wordshore at 10:38 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Quality thread!
posted by thinkpiece at 10:41 AM on May 16, 2013

"Right," said Fred, "both of us together,
One each end, and steady as she goes...."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:42 AM on May 16, 2013

Scout Report: a useful Internet resource - seriously. Have a look.
posted by Wordshore at 10:44 AM on May 16, 2013

Too sexy.
posted by carsonb at 10:44 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Usenet never died.
posted by Wordshore at 10:46 AM on May 16, 2013

V - 16 May 1:48pm ET
180.84 -0.92‎ (-0.51%‎)
NYSE
posted by Kabanos at 10:49 AM on May 16, 2013

Would anybody like a peanut?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:54 AM on May 16, 2013

My kid's preschool has been doing this 'learn the alphabet' project where every week they cut out a different letter and make an animal out of it. I'd been wondering for ages what they were going to do for this week's letter, and was pleased to learn yesterday that it will be an "X-ray fish."
posted by ook at 10:57 AM on May 16, 2013

X-ray fish is a perfectly cromulent solution.
posted by yellowbinder at 11:00 AM on May 16, 2013

Too sexy.

For my shirt . . .

posted by Herodios at 11:02 AM on May 16, 2013

You know, I still feel bad about missing Y last time.
posted by snorkmaiden at 11:02 AM on May 16, 2013

Z for platypus means anything is possible.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:03 AM on May 16, 2013 [2 favorites]

Don't know how to play the alphabet game, GenjiandProust?

And ook and Herodios don't know how to play, either.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:18 AM on May 16, 2013

B is for Beard.
posted by Kabanos at 11:24 AM on May 16, 2013

Good thing I know how to play!
posted by shothotbot at 11:24 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Play the game where you start with the last word of the previous comment!
posted by Kabanos at 11:26 AM on May 16, 2013

Comment by Kabanos thwarted my plan to start with the Roman equivalents of letters of the Greek alphabet. Delta would have been next!
posted by beryllium at 11:28 AM on May 16, 2013

Next semi-final of Eurovision is in only 30 minutes. Join us on chat.metafilter.com for amusing snark. Or just, snark.
posted by Wordshore at 11:31 AM on May 16, 2013

Delta can still be next!
posted by snorkmaiden at 11:32 AM on May 16, 2013

confused
posted by Wordshore at 11:33 AM on May 16, 2013

> What happens when we get to the end of the alphabet?

Yuzz
Wum
Um
Humpf
Fuddle
Gliik
Nuh
Snee
Quan
Thnad
Spazz
Floob
Zatz
Jogg
Flunn
Itch
Yell
Vroo
Hi!
_

Then you can start over.
posted by jfuller at 11:33 AM on May 16, 2013

over here, this is the part of the thread where chaos breaks loose
posted by beryllium at 11:35 AM on May 16, 2013

Loose comments sink threads :(
posted by Snarl Furillo at 11:38 AM on May 16, 2013

And ook and Herodios don't know how to play, either.

Maybe you should reread my last comment.
posted by ook at 11:40 AM on May 16, 2013

Who let the dogs out?
posted by Kabanos at 11:40 AM on May 16, 2013

(: sdaerht knis stnemmoc esooL
posted by 0 at 11:40 AM on May 16, 2013

Man, do I go on the defensive on a hair trigger. Yes, I do.
posted by ook at 11:43 AM on May 16, 2013

Meanwhile I seem to be stuck on "M".
posted by ook at 11:43 AM on May 16, 2013

Now, there's a delta for every epsilon!
posted by beryllium at 11:43 AM on May 16, 2013

Move it along, someone
posted by ook at 11:43 AM on May 16, 2013

{Puts on Jules Winnfield voice}

Let's get this shit together, motherfuckers.

A IS FOR MOTHERFUCKING APPLE.
posted by Wordshore at 11:45 AM on May 16, 2013

B IS FOR MOTHERFUCKING BLARGH
posted by ook at 11:47 AM on May 16, 2013

C IS FOR MOTHERFUCKING COOKIE AND THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!
posted by yellowbinder at 11:49 AM on May 16, 2013

D IS FOR WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:50 AM on May 16, 2013

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENOUGH CAPS.
posted by adamvasco at 11:54 AM on May 16, 2013

FOR FUCK'S SAKE
posted by shothotbot at 11:57 AM on May 16, 2013

Geez you guys.
posted by carsonb at 11:58 AM on May 16, 2013

GET YOUR FUCKING CAPS ON.
posted by iamkimiam at 11:59 AM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

How about a reversal?
posted by carsonb at 11:59 AM on May 16, 2013

I dont even...
posted by The Whelk at 12:00 PM on May 16, 2013

Generally can't even do the normal progression, but maybe backwards?
posted by carsonb at 12:00 PM on May 16, 2013

Fudged it.
posted by carsonb at 12:01 PM on May 16, 2013

HWAT.
posted by Kabanos at 12:01 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Good! A fight!
posted by shothotbot at 12:01 PM on May 16, 2013

Jeez, use the preview button.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:01 PM on May 16, 2013

JUST GET WITH THE FUCKING PROGRAM EVERYBODY AND I MEAN THAT IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE, I LOVE YOU ALL
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:01 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Kind of funny coming from a guy who can't move on to the next letter.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:04 PM on May 16, 2013

Laugh all you want, fucker. Don't love you anymore.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:05 PM on May 16, 2013

Must you use such harsh language? My feelings are hurt.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:06 PM on May 16, 2013

No! someone hacked my account, I would never say such negative things!
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:07 PM on May 16, 2013

One just gets so emotionally invested!
posted by carsonb at 12:07 PM on May 16, 2013

Perhaps I should take a break
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:08 PM on May 16, 2013

Quit while you're ... not ahead and everything is fucked up?
posted by onlyconnect at 12:09 PM on May 16, 2013

Rationally, it's not a bad time to quit.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:10 PM on May 16, 2013

SILLY RABBIT, QUITS ARE FOR KIDS
posted by ook at 12:14 PM on May 16, 2013

Trix are for magicians.
posted by onlyconnect at 12:16 PM on May 16, 2013

Unless you are GOB from Arrested Development, who seems to be very bad at tricks.
posted by onlyconnect at 12:20 PM on May 16, 2013

Vanish! Vanish into my hat, stupid rabbit! It's not wooorking what am I doing wroooong
posted by ook at 12:21 PM on May 16, 2013

Wearing the hat you are trying to get the rabbit into seems like a mistake, maybe?
posted by onlyconnect at 12:23 PM on May 16, 2013

XOXO,
Houdini
posted by onlyconnect at 12:26 PM on May 16, 2013

Xrays indicate dead rabbit; onlyconnect is pregnant.
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:26 PM on May 16, 2013

You're doing it wrong!
posted by shothotbot at 12:27 PM on May 16, 2013

ZARG! Ya know, this is a good way for me to keep track of the time zone difference between meef and me.
posted by lordaych at 12:27 PM on May 16, 2013

YOLO, rabbit. YOLO. And now I need a new hat.
posted by ook at 12:31 PM on May 16, 2013

Watch me as I pull a new hat out of this rabbit.
posted by ook at 12:31 PM on May 16, 2013

eXactly who is going to pull the missing X out of their butt?
posted by onlyconnect at 12:35 PM on May 16, 2013

Xylan is one of the foremost anti-nutritional factors in common use feedstuff raw materials.
Your favorite anti-nutritional factor in common use is what?
posted by infinite intimation at 12:35 PM on May 16, 2013

Valium?
posted by onlyconnect at 12:36 PM on May 16, 2013

Ugh, I'm going to fail the drunk driving test aren't I
posted by ook at 12:38 PM on May 16, 2013

This is more difficult than I thought.
posted by arcticseal at 12:41 PM on May 16, 2013

Yuccaberg. Mark Yuccaberg.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:41 PM on May 16, 2013

Zucchiniberg. Mark Zucchiniberg.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:41 PM on May 16, 2013

All right, folks, keep moving. Nothing to see here.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 12:41 PM on May 16, 2013

Butts lol
posted by The Whelk at 12:43 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Bonobo. James Bonobo.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:43 PM on May 16, 2013

So much for reversals
posted by ook at 12:44 PM on May 16, 2013

Cabbage. Charles Cabbage.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:44 PM on May 16, 2013

Dumb I am.
posted by onlyconnect at 12:45 PM on May 16, 2013

Doubles now the theme?
posted by arcticseal at 12:45 PM on May 16, 2013

Daikons. Richard Daikons.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:46 PM on May 16, 2013

Double doubles.
posted by yellowbinder at 12:47 PM on May 16, 2013

Do it to me one more time.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:47 PM on May 16, 2013

Everybody knows magicians do illusions; not tricks, nor trix (also that the dice are loaded).
posted by infinite intimation at 12:48 PM on May 16, 2013

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, don't get fooled again.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:49 PM on May 16, 2013

Gherkins. Gary Gherkins.
posted by onlyconnect at 12:52 PM on May 16, 2013

Habenero. Black sheep, black sheep, habanero wool?
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:01 PM on May 16, 2013

Iceberglettuce. Mark Iceberglettuce.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:02 PM on May 16, 2013

Just kidding, folks!
posted by nostrada at 1:04 PM on May 16, 2013

Apeño. Jal Apeño
posted by shothotbot at 1:05 PM on May 16, 2013

HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that.
posted by arcticseal at 1:06 PM on May 16, 2013

Kale. John Kale.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:08 PM on May 16, 2013

Lemon. Jack Lemon.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:08 PM on May 16, 2013

Mustard. Colonel Mustard.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:09 PM on May 16, 2013

Nougat. Ted Nougat.
posted by onlyconnect at 1:10 PM on May 16, 2013

Onion. Mark O'onion
posted by Namlit at 1:11 PM on May 16, 2013

Pepper. Sergeant Pepper
posted by Namlit at 1:12 PM on May 16, 2013

Quince. John Quince Adams.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:12 PM on May 16, 2013

Ripper. Jack, the
posted by Namlit at 1:13 PM on May 16, 2013

stop. Make it
posted by Namlit at 1:14 PM on May 16, 2013

Top it. Make is.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:14 PM on May 16, 2013

Uncontrolled Ululation
posted by Namlit at 1:16 PM on May 16, 2013

Voluminously voluptuous.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:16 PM on May 16, 2013

Waffle Mc Waffleton
posted by Namlit at 1:17 PM on May 16, 2013

X and Bacon. Francis X and Bacon.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:19 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yemen, Zimbabweeeeeh!
posted by Dumsnill at 1:20 PM on May 16, 2013

Zemen.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:21 PM on May 16, 2013

Yarp.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:21 PM on May 16, 2013

Xerothermic xenophobe

Yes, that did require a dictionary.
posted by Diablevert at 1:21 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Wibbly Wobbly, Timey Wimey....
posted by zarq at 1:22 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Vilified velociraptor
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:24 PM on May 16, 2013

Upward Ho!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 1:26 PM on May 16, 2013

To the tip top on tiptoes!
posted by yellowbinder at 1:26 PM on May 16, 2013

So, am I too late to this thread?
posted by mlle valentine at 1:27 PM on May 16, 2013

Really, we're not even anywhere near the end.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:29 PM on May 16, 2013

Quite right! There are plenty of games still to be played.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 1:32 PM on May 16, 2013

Precious. Mine.
posted by arcticseal at 1:35 PM on May 16, 2013

ORLY?
posted by zarq at 1:36 PM on May 16, 2013

Nice to be a part of it.
posted by mlle valentine at 1:40 PM on May 16, 2013

Mine precious! Has gold!
posted by never used baby shoes at 1:41 PM on May 16, 2013

Looks like Slarty's here.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:41 PM on May 16, 2013

Quite right! There are plenty of games still to be played.

Yes, but how many are drinking games?
posted by QueerAngel28 at 1:41 PM on May 16, 2013

Kwait alåt åf them
posted by Dumsnill at 1:43 PM on May 16, 2013

Just a few, really.
posted by mlle valentine at 1:43 PM on May 16, 2013

I was going to say "all of them, if you're doing it right."
posted by Snarl Furillo at 1:44 PM on May 16, 2013

Here's to that.
posted by Kabanos at 1:45 PM on May 16, 2013

Great! I get it now!
posted by QueerAngel28 at 1:46 PM on May 16, 2013

Fortunately, he missed the haystack.
posted by third rail at 1:47 PM on May 16, 2013

Evidently, I forgot the alphabet. Do we keep going backwards around and around now, or do we bounce forward? And if it's the latter, do we double up on As?
posted by NoraReed at 1:47 PM on May 16, 2013

Dunno.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:48 PM on May 16, 2013

Could go any which way.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:48 PM on May 16, 2013

But then is it just up to the person who goes after A? What if they can't be trusted?
posted by NoraReed at 1:49 PM on May 16, 2013

About to find out!
posted by yellowbinder at 1:49 PM on May 16, 2013

Alas.
posted by mlle valentine at 1:49 PM on May 16, 2013

Are we going the other way around? Cause I was out for a while and I think I missed something.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:49 PM on May 16, 2013

But...
posted by Dumsnill at 1:50 PM on May 16, 2013

Can go this way or that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:50 PM on May 16, 2013

Can we go round another two times?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:50 PM on May 16, 2013

Dunno.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:55 PM on May 16, 2013

Do si do, go round two times and try to leave.
posted by third rail at 1:55 PM on May 16, 2013

Even if we did go backwards twice, we could always change our minds.
posted by kinetic at 1:56 PM on May 16, 2013

Forward in all directions!
posted by Dumsnill at 1:58 PM on May 16, 2013

Find an alphabet thread on the Grey
Where the letters go every which-way
The thread got quite long
Making mobile browsers wrong:
They all crashed by the end of the day.
posted by NoraReed at 1:58 PM on May 16, 2013

Go go go!
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:58 PM on May 16, 2013

Have to keep moving, always moving, like a shark. Or a barnacle. A barnacle that moves.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:00 PM on May 16, 2013

I still am in this thread
posted by Jofus at 2:00 PM on May 16, 2013

Just as it should be...
posted by QueerAngel28 at 2:03 PM on May 16, 2013

Keep a moving on. Gotta keep a movin' on.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:04 PM on May 16, 2013

Let's close this up.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 2:05 PM on May 16, 2013

Letters are fetters, a truly free mind puts hand over mouth and makes fake farting sounds.
posted by fleacircus at 2:06 PM on May 16, 2013

merde
posted by fleacircus at 2:06 PM on May 16, 2013

Never give up!
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:07 PM on May 16, 2013

Onward ho!
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:08 PM on May 16, 2013

Persevere!
posted by box at 2:11 PM on May 16, 2013

Quite.
posted by Dumsnill at 2:11 PM on May 16, 2013

Quitters are quitters!
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:12 PM on May 16, 2013

Really, guys? This is getting old.
posted by phunniemee at 2:12 PM on May 16, 2013

So what? I'm old too.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:13 PM on May 16, 2013

Time makes bolder, etc.
posted by box at 2:14 PM on May 16, 2013

Tilda Swinton is not old.

Tilda Swinton is the age of the universe.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:14 PM on May 16, 2013

Unless I am mistaken, the Treaty of Westphalia can be summed up in four words.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:16 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Unbelievable, it took 900+ comments to get a Treaty of Westphalia? Y'all are slipping.
posted by Phire at 2:17 PM on May 16, 2013

Very Much Not Cool?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:17 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

What are those?
posted by Treaty of Westphalia at 2:17 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Why don't we go to a perfect 1000?
posted by third rail at 2:17 PM on May 16, 2013

XXX in Roman numerals? I forget how that works.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:19 PM on May 16, 2013

You forgot to carry the I
posted by fleacircus at 2:19 PM on May 16, 2013

You've hurt my feelings
posted by Treaty of Westphalia at 2:20 PM on May 16, 2013

Z isn't a Roman numeral. Why not? Didn't the Romans know about Z?
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:21 PM on May 16, 2013

Yikes, x is coming by again....
posted by Kabanos at 2:22 PM on May 16, 2013

X-rated in Rome meant 10-rated.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:23 PM on May 16, 2013

When in Rome, go the movies.
posted by third rail at 2:25 PM on May 16, 2013

Veni, vidi, meh.
posted by fleacircus at 2:26 PM on May 16, 2013

U is V in Rome.
posted by Kabanos at 2:26 PM on May 16, 2013

Veni, vidi, V for Vendetta.
posted by box at 2:27 PM on May 16, 2013

W is two V's
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:27 PM on May 16, 2013

X is two V's too.
posted by fleacircus at 2:28 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

X-rated. Solve for X.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:28 PM on May 16, 2013

Say! What a lot of vees there are!
posted by third rail at 2:28 PM on May 16, 2013

Y is a V with a tail.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:29 PM on May 16, 2013

HEY W GUYS!
posted by Kabanos at 2:29 PM on May 16, 2013

Z is two V's doing a 69.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:30 PM on May 16, 2013

Actually, we're on A
posted by Treaty of Westphalia at 2:30 PM on May 16, 2013

But now we're not
posted by Sys Rq at 2:31 PM on May 16, 2013

Or "Eh" for those of you joining us from Canada.
posted by Kabanos at 2:31 PM on May 16, 2013

C'mon!
posted by double block and bleed at 2:32 PM on May 16, 2013

that you understood the change is Doubtful.
posted by dogwalker at 2:33 PM on May 16, 2013

D = 500 in Roman numerals.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:33 PM on May 16, 2013

X is a variable.
posted by box at 2:35 PM on May 16, 2013

The change can be understood by Everyone.
posted by third rail at 2:35 PM on May 16, 2013

e is an irrational constant, and as such cannot be expressed in Roman numerals.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:35 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

f is a function. Almost any function, really.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:36 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

f is a function. fj is a function at the junction.
posted by box at 2:36 PM on May 16, 2013

g stands for gravitational acceleration.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:37 PM on May 16, 2013

good to know that box and 2lf are the same person
posted by Treaty of Westphalia at 2:38 PM on May 16, 2013

h is a v that was eaten by a distant brontosaurus.
posted by fleacircus at 2:40 PM on May 16, 2013

h is the Planck constant.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:40 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

i is tired of this game.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:40 PM on May 16, 2013

i is an imaginary number. Or so I would imagine.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:40 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

i,j,k are quaternions all
posted by Talkie Toaster at 2:41 PM on May 16, 2013

j is a unit vector pointing in the direction of the y-axis.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:41 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

k points in the z-direction.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:42 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

kvas is yum.
posted by Kabanos at 2:42 PM on May 16, 2013

Lambda is an eigenvalue.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:42 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Mmmmm. Kvas.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:42 PM on May 16, 2013

Nu is a metal, not found in nature.
posted by Talkie Toaster at 2:43 PM on May 16, 2013

O is not a number. That's the letter O, you fool!
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:44 PM on May 16, 2013

OI is new to OSPD4.
posted by box at 2:45 PM on May 16, 2013

P is for urine.
posted by Kabanos at 2:45 PM on May 16, 2013

Q is for the middle of an early season when script writers run out of ideas.
posted by Talkie Toaster at 2:46 PM on May 16, 2013

ρ is not a P. It's a fucking rho.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:47 PM on May 16, 2013

SILENCED ALL MY LIFE!!!
posted by Treaty of Westphalia at 2:47 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

T of W, we who are hanging around here are very lucky to have seen a glimpse of the fleeting Treaty.
posted by third rail at 2:51 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

τ is not a T. It's a fucking tau.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:51 PM on May 16, 2013

∪ is not a U. It's a fucking union.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:52 PM on May 16, 2013

V is not a V. It's a fucking 5.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:53 PM on May 16, 2013

W is two V's fucking.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:53 PM on May 16, 2013

XXX usually means people are fucking.
posted by Sarcasm at 2:57 PM on May 16, 2013

Y is a combinator, from whose news pages we glean material for the blue.
posted by Talkie Toaster at 2:58 PM on May 16, 2013

Z is an axis.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:59 PM on May 16, 2013

And then it was out of our systems.
posted by fleacircus at 2:59 PM on May 16, 2013

Bondage. James Bondage.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:00 PM on May 16, 2013

But-
posted by The Whelk at 3:00 PM on May 16, 2013

C-C-C-C-Combo breaker!

oh god dammit
posted by Sarcasm at 3:00 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Dare I suggest that if we're banned from posting the Treaty of Westphalia as a comment, then could we do it as an acrostic?
posted by ambrosen at 3:01 PM on May 16, 2013

Excellent idea!
posted by Dr Dracator at 3:02 PM on May 16, 2013

Fuck that.

(Sorry I mean, go for it.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:04 PM on May 16, 2013

Good heavens, that's a bad idea.
posted by zarq at 3:05 PM on May 16, 2013

Have to find a way to post the Treaty of Westphalia as a limerick.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:06 PM on May 16, 2013

I hear there's a guy with some long genitalia from there.
posted by fleacircus at 3:07 PM on May 16, 2013

Just now getting close to 1000 comments. Who will have the honor?
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:08 PM on May 16, 2013

kan vi sluta med det här nu. Va fan är det som pågår?
posted by Namlit at 3:09 PM on May 16, 2013

leuk spelletje. ik snap er geen bal van
posted by Namlit at 3:10 PM on May 16, 2013

Meine Güte, ist das langweilig hier.
posted by Namlit at 3:10 PM on May 16, 2013

Never mind
posted by Namlit at 3:11 PM on May 16, 2013

Oh, I see what you were doing there.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:11 PM on May 16, 2013

Once was a Treaty of Westphalia
Adorned with the Osnabrück regalia
It clogged up the Filter
Was banned and rebuilt here
To showcase my Münster genitalia
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 3:12 PM on May 16, 2013 [2 favorites]

Perceptive
posted by Namlit at 3:12 PM on May 16, 2013

Perhaps this comment is the 1000th.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:12 PM on May 16, 2013

Please forgive me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:13 PM on May 16, 2013

Quite honestly I cannot understand
How anyone could want the upper hand.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:13 PM on May 16, 2013

Repeating letters? That's a minor fault.
Not even close to spilling my good salt.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:14 PM on May 16, 2013

Right. I'm left-handed. Not up-handed
posted by Namlit at 3:14 PM on May 16, 2013

sut alors
posted by Namlit at 3:14 PM on May 16, 2013

That didn't have to happen, Namlit -
Much like the dénouement of Hamlet.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:16 PM on May 16, 2013

Ugh you guys are such dorks.
posted by dismas at 3:18 PM on May 16, 2013

Ve have ways of making you metatalk.
posted by fleacircus at 3:20 PM on May 16, 2013

Wow this thing is still going?
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 3:21 PM on May 16, 2013

xtremely well, going it is.
posted by Wordshore at 3:22 PM on May 16, 2013

Ya betya
posted by Namlit at 3:22 PM on May 16, 2013

Zed! Is! Dead! Zed is dead!
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:26 PM on May 16, 2013

Alcohol is free! (may win the final of Eurovision on Saturday, yay!)
posted by Wordshore at 3:26 PM on May 16, 2013

AlternaTiVe UniverSe kicking in now. Clusters. YaYY.
posted by Namlit at 3:26 PM on May 16, 2013

Bedtime, guys
posted by Namlit at 3:27 PM on May 16, 2013

Ciao
posted by Namlit at 3:28 PM on May 16, 2013

Danke.
posted by The Whelk at 3:31 PM on May 16, 2013

Eventually.
posted by iamkimiam at 3:38 PM on May 16, 2013

Finnish saunas are one of the odder places I've had an academic research meeting.
posted by Wordshore at 3:41 PM on May 16, 2013

Good euphemism.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:43 PM on May 16, 2013

Hot one too
posted by Namlit at 3:44 PM on May 16, 2013

I,000 comments?
posted by starman at 3:47 PM on May 16, 2013

Jofus? Anyone seen Jofus?
posted by fleacircus at 3:50 PM on May 16, 2013

Kind of late for European Mefites, isn't Jofus Dutch?
posted by Dr Dracator at 4:07 PM on May 16, 2013

Late? It's only just gone midnight.
posted by Wordshore at 4:08 PM on May 16, 2013

Midnight Blue?
posted by mintcake! at 4:10 PM on May 16, 2013

Midnight for you maybe, I'm in the future.
posted by Dr Dracator at 4:10 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

No--the past, it seems.
posted by Obscure Reference at 4:12 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh, I'm in the future. It's the morning of the 17th for me.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:13 PM on May 16, 2013

first
posted by Sticherbeast at 4:14 PM on May 16, 2013

Perth?
posted by double block and bleed at 4:17 PM on May 16, 2013

Queensland?
posted by double block and bleed at 4:17 PM on May 16, 2013

Rockhampton?
posted by onlyconnect at 4:25 PM on May 16, 2013

Somewhere in Australia, I'd guess
posted by double block and bleed at 4:26 PM on May 16, 2013

The right way to overthink a plate of beans
posted by double block and bleed at 4:26 PM on May 16, 2013

The right way to overthink a plate of beans
posted by double block and bleed at 4:27 PM on May 16, 2013

Underthink a plate of beans.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:31 PM on May 16, 2013

Vixen is 1297 in Roman numerals, right?
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:41 PM on May 16, 2013

Dubya.
posted by Kabanos at 5:03 PM on May 16, 2013

The recipe of love!

1 tablespoon of forgiveness
1 cup love of loyalty
1 cup of faith
1 cup of

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
posted by R. Mutt at 5:26 PM on May 16, 2013

YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, \ /
/ ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( \( = =)
( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( / ( ^ )~°
(__(__(__(__(__(__)
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
*~*~THE CATERPILLAR OF GOOD CHEER~*~*

If you see this image while scrolling this thread,
good luck and prosperity will come to you,
but only if you post a ZANK YOU in this thread.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:27 PM on May 16, 2013

I couldn't decide what to wear ti a cigar bar so I put together something based on rewatchung L.A Confidental and paying attention to the clothing.
posted by The Whelk at 5:32 PM on May 16, 2013

Zank You
posted by arcticseal at 5:35 PM on May 16, 2013

AS FAR AS I KNOW

___________.__               __                         __                   _____   __      __                 __         .__           .__  .__                            .___         .___   __  .__             ___________.__    .__         __           _____.___.                          /\  __      __                
\__    ___/|  |__   ____   _/  |________   ____ _____ _/  |_ ___.__.   _____/ ____\ /  \    /  \ ____   _______/  |_______ |  |__ _____  |  | |__|____      ____   ____    __| _/____   __| _/ _/  |_|  |__   ____   \__    ___/|  |__ |__|_______/  |_ ___.__. \__  |   | ____ _____ _______  _____)/ /  \    /  \_____ _______  
  |    |   |  |  \_/ __ \  \   __\_  __ \_/ __ \\__  \\   __<   |  |  /  _ \   __\  \   \/\/   // __ \ /  ___/\   __\____ \|  |  \\__  \ |  | |  \__  \   _/ __ \ /    \  / __ |/ __ \ / __ |  \   __\  |  \_/ __ \    |    |   |  |  \|  \_  __ \   __<   |  |  /   |   |/ __ \\__  \\_  __ \/  ___/  \   \/\/   /\__  \\_  __ \ 
  |    |   |   Y  \  ___/   |  |  |  | \/\  ___/ / __ \|  |  \___  | (  <> )  |     \        /\  ___/ \___ \  |  | |  |_> >   Y  \/ __ \|  |_|  |/ __ \_ \  ___/|   |  \/ /_/ \  ___// /_/ |   |  | |   Y  \  ___/    |    |   |   Y  \  ||  | \/|  |  \___  |  \____   \  ___/ / __ \|  | \/\___ \    \        /  / __ \|  | \/ 
  |____|   |___|  /\___  >  |__|  |__|    \___  >____  /__|  / ____|  \____/|__|      \__/\  /  \___  >____  > |__| |   __/|___|  (____  /____/__(____  /  \___  >___|  /\____ |\___  >____ |   |__| |___|  /\___  >   |____|   |___|  /__||__|   |__|  / ____|  / ______|\___  >____  /__|  /____  >    \__/\  /  (____  /__|    
                \/     \/                     \/     \/      \/                            \/       \/     \/       |__|        \/     \/             \/       \/     \/      \/    \/     \/             \/     \/                  \/                 \/       \/           \/     \/           \/          \/        \/

posted by twoleftfeet at 5:39 PM on May 16, 2013 [7 favorites]

Best guess, the caterpillar is on acid.
posted by arcticseal at 6:05 PM on May 16, 2013

Clearly you are correct.
posted by Lizard at 6:10 PM on May 16, 2013

Deviously clever ambitious strongman.
posted by vozworth at 6:24 PM on May 16, 2013

Everclear is distilled from corn (maize) and is nearly identical in taste to fine-grade unflavored vodka. But it doesn't make you clear forever, as I mistakenly thought when I drank four bottles. Just a warning.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:28 PM on May 16, 2013

For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'No' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

-Steve Jobs
posted by kinetic at 6:40 PM on May 16, 2013

God. A millionaire would say that.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 6:54 PM on May 16, 2013 [2 favorites]

How poignant.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 7:01 PM on May 16, 2013

Indubitably.
posted by Diablevert at 7:02 PM on May 16, 2013

Jeremias, mi nombre es.
posted by jeremias at 7:03 PM on May 16, 2013

Know that I'm laughing out loud for real, Jeremias.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 7:07 PM on May 16, 2013

Laughing my ass off over here.
posted by wallabear at 7:08 PM on May 16, 2013

My ass is laughing at me. Just another sign of old age.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:16 PM on May 16, 2013

Every time I play Geoguessr I inevitably end up somewhere in Russia which I immediately recognize by the street signs that are supposed to signify crosswalks but look a little like someone who's tripping, and the trees lining the streets which have their lower 3-4 feet painted white(?).

If you find yourself in this situation, you might be tempted to navigate around because surely one of the signs will be in English, or you might think you could puzzle out a cyrillic city name. This will not happen. Always guess somewhere between St. Petersburg and Moscow. You'll be wildly wrong and it'll end up being somewhere 3,000 miles east because Russia is huge, but I just saved you several hours of frustration.

Suggested Geoguessr hardcore mode: break 10,000 points by guessing your locations without moving the camera. Alternatively, 30-60 seconds per guess with a stopwatch.
posted by empyrean at 7:18 PM on May 16, 2013

Nobody's laughing here.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 7:37 PM on May 16, 2013

Once, I thought I'd read this whole thread and construct a perfect next post when I got to the end, but you all talk too much, I couldn't take it, so I scrolled to the end to wait for "O." But the thread stalled out without an "N." Forgive my double post.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 7:38 PM on May 16, 2013

Poor croutonsupafreak! I just ducked in to see if this was still going so can't promise to keep it up for long, but at least I can set you up in case you have a wonderful Q.
posted by Athanassiel at 7:42 PM on May 16, 2013

Problems of the connected world.
posted by arcticseal at 7:42 PM on May 16, 2013

Quiet in here. Sigh. I'd only just found the thread.
posted by wallabear at 7:55 PM on May 16, 2013

Really quiet. I can't believe people have lost enthusiasm. How are we going to break 10,000 at this rate?
posted by Athanassiel at 7:58 PM on May 16, 2013

Surely it will find new breath, a second wind.
posted by wallabear at 8:02 PM on May 16, 2013

That's nice, Athanasseil, but I'm good now. Thanks.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 8:04 PM on May 16, 2013

Um, what can I write?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:30 PM on May 16, 2013

Very, very witty comments. That's what you should write.
posted by Area Man at 8:31 PM on May 16, 2013

Wit is the last refuge of the guy who doesn't want to figure out X or Z.
posted by ook at 8:32 PM on May 16, 2013

X marks the spot in my heart that swells with love for you all for keeping this going for more than 24 hrs.
posted by donnagirl at 8:34 PM on May 16, 2013

Yeah, we are the champions! (Goes off to bang head against wall for giving self earworm.)
posted by Athanassiel at 8:42 PM on May 16, 2013

Zardoz!
posted by arcticseal at 8:50 PM on May 16, 2013

And there goes my plan to write about Zilwaukee, Michigan.
posted by Area Man at 8:51 PM on May 16, 2013

Bears. I love bears.
posted by wallabear at 8:53 PM on May 16, 2013

Coulda said beers. I love beers.
posted by wallabear at 8:55 PM on May 16, 2013

Deers. Deers who drink beers are dear. But not bears. Bears are a bore.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:56 PM on May 16, 2013

Deers are good also.
posted by dg at 8:56 PM on May 16, 2013

Ears are nice, too.
posted by dg at 8:56 PM on May 16, 2013

Fears. Nothing to fear here.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:57 PM on May 16, 2013

Gosh, that wasn't very nice :(
posted by wallabear at 8:57 PM on May 16, 2013

Hey, I'll cop to it I guess. Nothing worse than a boring bear. Except an endearing deer?
posted by wallabear at 9:01 PM on May 16, 2013

I'd party with a beer drinking deer. He'd been endearing, I fear.
posted by wallabear at 9:03 PM on May 16, 2013

Just beer? Wouldn't the deer have a beer and a bump?
posted by Area Man at 9:06 PM on May 16, 2013

Killing time in the forest are laughing deer, drinking beer! Comes the bear, big old bore. Jolly deer says grumpy bear, have some beer! And a bump, I suppose... beats getting killed by grumpy bear.
posted by wallabear at 9:16 PM on May 16, 2013

Let this be a warning.
posted by wallabear at 9:16 PM on May 16, 2013

Kinnear. Greg Kinnear. Had a beer with a deer in a bar with a bear. Near here.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:17 PM on May 16, 2013

Lear. Edward Lear. Had a beer with a body in a bag, I fear.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:18 PM on May 16, 2013

Myself, I'll show out.
posted by wallabear at 9:19 PM on May 16, 2013

Near to here, things look more clear.
posted by donnagirl at 9:20 PM on May 16, 2013

Oir. Spanish for "to hear".
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:21 PM on May 16, 2013

PLEASESTOP
posted by vrakatar at 9:21 PM on May 16, 2013

Quite happy to see donnagirl back.
posted by wallabear at 9:22 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Queer.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:22 PM on May 16, 2013

Really? Thanks! I'm happy to be here.
posted by donnagirl at 9:22 PM on May 16, 2013

Silly me, thought you'd just rejoined the thread, first commenter and all. Just now saw you'd been here this evening already. But yeah! (Late to the game as always.)
posted by wallabear at 9:29 PM on May 16, 2013

Tricky game! Edited for continuity.
posted by maryr at 9:29 PM on May 16, 2013

Understandably curious if this is the most times I've commented in a thread. Anyone know how to find out?
posted by donnagirl at 9:31 PM on May 16, 2013

vrakatar lowercase may calm the nerves. be steady.
posted by wallabear at 9:33 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

WOW I don't know the alphabet.
posted by maryr at 9:34 PM on May 16, 2013

What maryr? Cheating!
posted by wallabear at 9:34 PM on May 16, 2013

X_X
posted by maryr at 9:35 PM on May 16, 2013

(Yes, that's a face.)
posted by maryr at 9:35 PM on May 16, 2013

ZOMG I'm caught out -- nicely done :)
posted by wallabear at 9:36 PM on May 16, 2013

Yes, we are now going backwards through the alphabet
posted by Rumple at 9:37 PM on May 16, 2013

Я не знаю.
posted by mazola at 9:40 PM on May 16, 2013

And left my own devices, I probably would.
posted by wallabear at 9:43 PM on May 16, 2013

Backwards or forwards? We need to decide.
posted by donnagirl at 9:45 PM on May 16, 2013

Christ on a pony
posted by Existential Dread at 9:45 PM on May 16, 2013

Doesn't he prefer donkeys?
posted by donnagirl at 9:49 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Existentially, this begins with an X and suffices for backwards and forwards.
posted by booksherpa at 9:50 PM on May 16, 2013

For a minute, I almost believed you, booksherpa.
posted by donnagirl at 9:59 PM on May 16, 2013

Good lord, that last comment was #1111.
posted by donnagirl at 10:04 PM on May 16, 2013

Here's hoping for 1111 more!
posted by Tevin at 10:04 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

I don't get it. What's going on?
posted by mazola at 10:12 PM on May 16, 2013

Jeez, really? Recipes and drunken forest creatures.
posted by wallabear at 10:14 PM on May 16, 2013

Just watch a while; you'll get the hang of it.

Or

Jump in, you're doing fine!
posted by booksherpa at 10:14 PM on May 16, 2013

Kinda not like booksherpa just did, though.
posted by donnagirl at 10:19 PM on May 16, 2013

LMFAO! :D
posted by mazola at 10:20 PM on May 16, 2013

Maybe mix :D with [hugs]. It'd be all like :Dhugs, or hugs:D or :DhugsLMFAO or
posted by wallabear at 10:24 PM on May 16, 2013

Not on your life. I have my pride.
posted by mazola at 10:26 PM on May 16, 2013

↓
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:27 PM on May 16, 2013

Or you can just go to bed. See you all in the morning.
posted by arcticseal at 10:27 PM on May 16, 2013

Posted? No, that arrow should be above the oneswellfoop!!!
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:27 PM on May 16, 2013

Quite right, mazola. Just playing the game.
posted by wallabear at 10:30 PM on May 16, 2013

Really questioning whether that counts, regardless of its cleverness.
posted by donnagirl at 10:30 PM on May 16, 2013

RATS!!!! BIG FUCKING RATS WITH COCKS THIS FUCKING LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by mazola at 10:30 PM on May 16, 2013

So did I win?
posted by mazola at 10:31 PM on May 16, 2013

Tonight, we all win.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:31 PM on May 16, 2013

Unless we all lose.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:31 PM on May 16, 2013

Wah, wah, wah, waaaaaah....
posted by mazola at 10:32 PM on May 16, 2013

Vacillating on whether it wouldn't be better to not comment twice in a row. Wondering why mazola skipped v.
posted by donnagirl at 10:33 PM on May 16, 2013

Wah, wah, wah, waaaaaah....

I don't know my alphabets! Har!
posted by mazola at 10:35 PM on May 16, 2013

X-ray specs, watchin' you. 50 cents comic book special. Nice shirt?
posted by wallabear at 10:38 PM on May 16, 2013

Y? Because we like you!
posted by mazola at 10:39 PM on May 16, 2013

Z-O-U-S-E!!!!
posted by mazola at 10:39 PM on May 16, 2013

zamboni beat you to it, oneswellfoop.
posted by wallabear at 10:39 PM on May 16, 2013

And I got kicked that time...
posted by wallabear at 10:40 PM on May 16, 2013

Butt. In my.
posted by wallabear at 10:40 PM on May 16, 2013

Coulda been worse.
posted by donnagirl at 10:41 PM on May 16, 2013

Did you know 'zouse' isn't even a real word?
posted by mazola at 10:42 PM on May 16, 2013

Eventually it will be real. If you believe.
posted by donnagirl at 10:43 PM on May 16, 2013

FWIW I thought it was fair play.
posted by wallabear at 10:44 PM on May 16, 2013

Fuck that shit.

Pabst Blue Ribbon!
posted by mazola at 10:44 PM on May 16, 2013

... gee, your hair smells terrific!
posted by mazola at 10:46 PM on May 16, 2013

Having trouble going back to sleep after my daughter woke up upset. She's asleep now, but I came back to this thread for some reason.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 10:49 PM on May 16, 2013

Hey, if I had any I'd think you were talking to me.

hides PBR stash
posted by wallabear at 10:49 PM on May 16, 2013

I got here first, wallabear!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 10:50 PM on May 16, 2013

I don't know why I keep coming back here.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:50 PM on May 16, 2013

Jeepers! I wanted to do 'I'!
posted by mazola at 10:50 PM on May 16, 2013

'K. Do it next time round.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:51 PM on May 16, 2013

Long night ahead....
posted by wallabear at 10:52 PM on May 16, 2013

Maybe we need reinforcements.
posted by donnagirl at 10:53 PM on May 16, 2013

No we don't.
posted by mazola at 10:54 PM on May 16, 2013

OK
posted by donnagirl at 10:57 PM on May 16, 2013

Pushover.
posted by mazola at 10:57 PM on May 16, 2013

POP POP POP go the FIREWORKS in my head
posted by vrakatar at 10:58 PM on May 16, 2013

Quietly he mobilizes the unseen MeTa forces.
posted by wallabear at 10:59 PM on May 16, 2013

RATS!!!! BIG FUCKING RATS WITH COCKS THIS FUCKING LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by mazola at 10:59 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Surely, we've been found out!
posted by wallabear at 11:00 PM on May 16, 2013

Terrifying shit! (edited for compliance) -- ah, fuck it.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 11:00 PM on May 16, 2013

They're usually quieter than that, dammit.
posted by wallabear at 11:00 PM on May 16, 2013

User error.
posted by mazola at 11:01 PM on May 16, 2013

VRAK I AM VRAK NOT KARV
posted by vrakatar at 11:03 PM on May 16, 2013

WTF?
posted by mazola at 11:03 PM on May 16, 2013

Xenophobia, likely.
posted by donnagirl at 11:04 PM on May 16, 2013

You've got to be kidding.
posted by mazola at 11:05 PM on May 16, 2013

Zipping my lip.
posted by donnagirl at 11:07 PM on May 16, 2013

1 is the loneliest number...
posted by mazola at 11:07 PM on May 16, 2013

About to unzip my lip...
posted by donnagirl at 11:12 PM on May 16, 2013

2 for the show...
posted by mazola at 11:13 PM on May 16, 2013

Blithely refusing to play by the (very loose) rules will get you nowhere.
posted by donnagirl at 11:23 PM on May 16, 2013

3 ways this can go people: Either everybody plays along, or we pretend we didn't notice anything changed, or it just dies out and everybody moves on to Friday deletion GRAR. Your call.
posted by Dr Dracator at 11:24 PM on May 16, 2013

Come on, this is ludicrous!
posted by mazola at 11:26 PM on May 16, 2013

Don't break the chain.
posted by donnagirl at 11:27 PM on May 16, 2013

4-gone conclusion.
posted by mazola at 11:28 PM on May 16, 2013

Mazola, I've given you every bit of benefit of the doubt. This is a fun thread where folks are having fun. Why the fuck are you trolling it so hard?
posted by wallabear at 11:28 PM on May 16, 2013

Everyone, let's just play. No swearing at people. We promised the mods.
posted by donnagirl at 11:32 PM on May 16, 2013

Ein letzter Beitrag und ich bin raus.
posted by mazola at 11:33 PM on May 16, 2013

5 answers from mazola, or s/he's outta here!
posted by croutonsupafreak at 11:33 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

!
posted by mazola at 11:33 PM on May 16, 2013

F. I don't have an 'f' word.
posted by mazola at 11:34 PM on May 16, 2013

Yeah, donnagirl is right, never mind. Carry on.
posted by wallabear at 11:35 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Get a dictionary.
posted by donnagirl at 11:35 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Hey I just woke up and it looks like I've missed some stuff. Got to go to work anyway, carry on people.
posted by Dr Dracator at 11:39 PM on May 16, 2013

I can't believe I came back here at this time of day...night...whatever that shit is.
posted by lordaych at 11:40 PM on May 16, 2013

~~I really messed this thread up. I apologize.~~
posted by mazola at 11:40 PM on May 16, 2013

Just go with it. It's better if you don't question it.
posted by donnagirl at 11:41 PM on May 16, 2013

'k. I will.
posted by mazola at 11:41 PM on May 16, 2013

Let's have a group hug.
posted by donnagirl at 11:43 PM on May 16, 2013

Mazola, I apologize. Without strikeout. Peace.
posted by wallabear at 11:47 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

No problemo. Groovy.
posted by mazola at 11:50 PM on May 16, 2013

OMG I love you all.
posted by donnagirl at 11:50 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Philosophically speaking, that statement has many layers to unpack.
posted by lordaych at 11:52 PM on May 16, 2013

Cute thread.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 11:57 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Artsy even.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 11:57 PM on May 16, 2013

RATS!!!! BIG FUCKING RATS WITH COCKS THIS FUCKING LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by mazola at 11:57 PM on May 16, 2013

Quite certain I don't know what you mean.
posted by donnagirl at 11:57 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

RATS!!!! BIG FUCKING RATS WITH COCKS THIS FUCKING LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by mazola at 11:58 PM on May 16, 2013

Sounds like a real personal interest of yours, mazola.
posted by donnagirl at 11:59 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is the greatest thing ever! Whatever it is.
posted by booksarelame at 11:59 PM on May 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

You really missed what I did there Donna and mazola?
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 12:00 AM on May 17, 2013

Very clever, Doroteo...
posted by mazola at 12:01 AM on May 17, 2013

Well, I didn't miss it so much as ignore it as unsustainable. But clever, yeah.
posted by donnagirl at 12:04 AM on May 17, 2013

Xactly how bitchy did that sound? Really bitchy. Sorry.
posted by donnagirl at 12:04 AM on May 17, 2013

Why did you do that? This was going perfectly well...
posted by mazola at 12:06 AM on May 17, 2013

Why do I keep posting here? Extremely sustainable and it gives your brain a workout.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 12:08 AM on May 17, 2013

Zoning out, no time for a brain workout for me.
posted by donnagirl at 12:17 AM on May 17, 2013

Alright, Friday has begun in one of the last outposts of major Time Zones (US Pacific). So, PARTEEE!
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:26 AM on May 17, 2013

Be warned, Friday MeTas are usually not pretty.
posted by mazola at 12:27 AM on May 17, 2013

Can't we be the exception?
posted by donnagirl at 12:28 AM on May 17, 2013

Don't think so.
posted by mazola at 12:28 AM on May 17, 2013

Every rule has an exception.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:29 AM on May 17, 2013

For example?
posted by mazola at 12:30 AM on May 17, 2013

Goodness, you're determined to be a grump.
posted by donnagirl at 12:31 AM on May 17, 2013

Holy heck, I don't even understand!
posted by mazola at 12:32 AM on May 17, 2013

I just think you sound kinda hostile. Maybe I'm misreading you.
posted by donnagirl at 12:33 AM on May 17, 2013

There's no way I'm reading this whole thread. All I wanna know is have we discussed the Treaty of Westphalia yet?
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 12:35 AM on May 17, 2013

Java java java; need my wake-up juice.
posted by Wordshore at 12:35 AM on May 17, 2013

~~Ja, du bist Verlesen me!~~
posted by mazola at 12:35 AM on May 17, 2013

Kiss my grits. How's that for hostile?
posted by mazola at 12:36 AM on May 17, 2013

Lovely.
posted by donnagirl at 12:37 AM on May 17, 2013

Mentions of the Treaty have been made, Aelfwine.
posted by donnagirl at 12:37 AM on May 17, 2013

No, we should go another direction. Peace, Love, and Groovy Beads?
posted by mazola at 12:38 AM on May 17, 2013

Only way to go from here is up.
posted by donnagirl at 12:41 AM on May 17, 2013

Perfect!
posted by mazola at 12:42 AM on May 17, 2013

Quite.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:44 AM on May 17, 2013

Rare querulousness subsides, the Dude abides.
posted by donnagirl at 12:44 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

~~RATS!!!! BIG FUCKING RATS WITH COCKS THIS FUCKING LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~
posted by mazola at 12:44 AM on May 17, 2013

Surely that's gotten old.
posted by donnagirl at 12:45 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

So we'll make our first upward move over the prone carcass of mazola, right?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:45 AM on May 17, 2013

True. Very true.
posted by mazola at 12:45 AM on May 17, 2013

Undoubtedly.
posted by donnagirl at 12:46 AM on May 17, 2013

Very reluctantly, I'm headed to bed. I wish you all luck with mazola's prone carcass. It's too late at night for me to feel fighty.
posted by donnagirl at 12:48 AM on May 17, 2013

Well who's flaming out?
posted by adamvasco at 12:57 AM on May 17, 2013

Xtra careful to not flame out. Maybe I'll just fade away?
posted by mazola at 1:06 AM on May 17, 2013

You shouldn't fade OR flame. Just keep playing. The game is all there is.
posted by donnagirl at 1:07 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Z's. I'm always left with the Z's and an empty box. Le sigh.
posted by Wordshore at 1:11 AM on May 17, 2013

A little patience and it's a whole new slate.
posted by mazola at 1:28 AM on May 17, 2013

Begone tis Friday . I thought you were being gone.
posted by adamvasco at 1:31 AM on May 17, 2013

Can't sleep, crap.
posted by donnagirl at 1:35 AM on May 17, 2013

Don't get sucked into this!
posted by mazola at 1:35 AM on May 17, 2013

Does anyone know a lullaby?
posted by donnagirl at 1:36 AM on May 17, 2013

Everybody's awake?
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:41 AM on May 17, 2013

For sure. Well, sort of...
posted by Chairboy at 1:48 AM on May 17, 2013

Good! Because we need this to go on productively. Else I look like a stooge!
posted by mazola at 1:51 AM on May 17, 2013

Hello Friday! Good morning.
posted by Namlit at 2:03 AM on May 17, 2013

I still look like a stooge. :(
posted by mazola at 2:05 AM on May 17, 2013

Just for the record, you don't look like a stooge. I wish I had been a bit quicker off the mark now. There's nothing worse than having to rewrite your comment (twice) as a result of being sluggish.
posted by Chairboy at 2:06 AM on May 17, 2013

'K I'm here what's up
posted by fleacircus at 2:11 AM on May 17, 2013

Last commenter gets $10,000 right?
posted by fleacircus at 2:15 AM on May 17, 2013

MeFites-on-a-Hard-Body style or something.
posted by fleacircus at 2:16 AM on May 17, 2013

Nothing for quarter of an hour?
posted by adamvasco at 2:30 AM on May 17, 2013

Obviously we're down to 4-5 updates an hour.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:43 AM on May 17, 2013

Personally, I could fix that.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:43 AM on May 17, 2013

Quickness, however, is not my specialty.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:44 AM on May 17, 2013

Romania for Eurovision!
posted by Wordshore at 2:50 AM on May 17, 2013

Sure is starting to get sluggish here.
posted by adamvasco at 3:43 AM on May 17, 2013

That's to be expected, isn't it?
posted by .kobayashi. at 4:07 AM on May 17, 2013

Understandable, certainly.
posted by jonnyploy at 4:08 AM on May 17, 2013

Very nice, is there actually an unbroken chain in this thread? All 26 with no interlopers?
posted by jeremias at 4:09 AM on May 17, 2013

Well, if not then this could be the first one. Only three more letters to go...
posted by Wordshore at 4:12 AM on May 17, 2013

Xanthe would be proud of us. Xanthelasma however is not something to be proud of.
posted by adamvasco at 4:19 AM on May 17, 2013

You know, even if the Z arrives in time the D did a double :(
posted by jeremias at 4:34 AM on May 17, 2013

'Zat so? When did this happen?
posted by fleacircus at 4:37 AM on May 17, 2013

At the risk of starting something new, there are bananas in the kitchen.
posted by iamkimiam at 4:43 AM on May 17, 2013

Boo! Not cool.
posted by Area Man at 4:56 AM on May 17, 2013

*Command-F* *pointystick* jeez how long do we have to wait.
posted by fleacircus at 5:38 AM on May 17, 2013

Dear spitbull, I appreciated your little joke. Bless your little heart.
posted by adamvasco at 5:40 AM on May 17, 2013

Evidence suggests when someone tells you who they are, you should believe them.
posted by donnagirl at 5:42 AM on May 17, 2013

Everybody have fun last night?
posted by ook at 5:43 AM on May 17, 2013

(Fooey)
posted by ook at 5:44 AM on May 17, 2013

Good luck with life and all that!
posted by iamkimiam at 5:55 AM on May 17, 2013

Thor has a trombone.
posted by box at 5:59 AM on May 17, 2013

He likes to take it to the bridge.
posted by fleacircus at 6:03 AM on May 17, 2013

I can't find the confounded bridge.
posted by ook at 6:14 AM on May 17, 2013

Jump in the river and keep looking up. Eventually you'll see it.
posted by Dr Dracator at 6:19 AM on May 17, 2013

Know that I basically never comment in a metatalk thread and then immediately remove it from my activity.

Basically never.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:21 AM on May 17, 2013

Keep your left hand on the wall at all times and you'll eventually find your way out of the maze.
posted by iamkimiam at 6:21 AM on May 17, 2013

Like cortex, when I first commented in this thread, I removed it from my recent activity, but honestly I'd rather read this thread than about half the other active posts right now, so I think we should set a goal of topping 10,000 comments. We're already 12.8% of the way there!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:29 AM on May 17, 2013

Meant to say that I've since re-added the thread to my recent activity as well. It's like a virus.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:30 AM on May 17, 2013

No way - I did NOT know you could remove threads from recent activity!

Something new: learned.
posted by greenish at 6:37 AM on May 17, 2013

OP - is this what you had in mind?
posted by foxhat10 at 6:42 AM on May 17, 2013

Please tell me how to re-add something to recent activity?
posted by ook at 6:45 AM on May 17, 2013

Quick, go to your recent activity page. Scroll to the bottom. Click "manage posts removed from recent activity."
posted by zarq at 6:48 AM on May 17, 2013

Row, Row, Row you bastards Row.
posted by adamvasco at 6:49 AM on May 17, 2013

Scroll to the bottom of the Recent Activity page, and there is a link to manage your removals.

On preview: dammit zarq
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:49 AM on May 17, 2013

That zarq. So prompt with the helpfulness.
posted by EvaDestruction at 6:57 AM on May 17, 2013

Twelve hundred comments. Lets close this up now.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:57 AM on May 17, 2013

Unknown at the time, this would be the thread that caused the server to catch on fire.
posted by arcticseal at 7:03 AM on May 17, 2013

Viewing this caused my browser to crash :(
posted by Westringia F. at 7:16 AM on May 17, 2013

Well this has been fun but now I have to bury these woodchucks.
posted by Mister_A at 7:18 AM on May 17, 2013

Xtra Xtra! Read all about it. Metafilter Members Mock Morphemes
posted by jeremias at 7:22 AM on May 17, 2013

You're not helping the woodchuck chuck. Why is that, Leon?
posted by fleacircus at 7:24 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zilwaukee was given its name in order to lure people who intended to move to Milwaukee.
posted by Area Man at 7:26 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ah, sorry Elementary Penguin.
posted by zarq at 7:30 AM on May 17, 2013

But why? All's fair in love and the alphabet game.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:33 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Connecticut has three c's, but I usually only pronounce two of them.
posted by .kobayashi. at 7:34 AM on May 17, 2013

Don't need to ask why, Elementary Penguin, do you?
posted by foxhat10 at 7:49 AM on May 17, 2013

Eh. Don't know why I keep coming back. I blame the wine.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 7:52 AM on May 17, 2013

For crying out loud, you folks are still at it?
posted by croutonsupafreak at 7:52 AM on May 17, 2013

Gosh, I'm surprised too.
posted by snorkmaiden at 7:53 AM on May 17, 2013

Ha ha ha! There is no stopping us! Not for another 28 days!
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:56 AM on May 17, 2013

If we've got 28 days left, it's time for somebody to start talking about zombies.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 7:59 AM on May 17, 2013

Jaunty dead or plodding dead?
posted by fleacircus at 8:03 AM on May 17, 2013

Kan't wait for an appropriate letter to thank zarq and EP. I never noticed that link before!
posted by ook at 8:08 AM on May 17, 2013

Love my undead in both jaunty and plodding forms.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 8:10 AM on May 17, 2013

Metafilter: undead in both jaunty and plodding forms.
posted by Westringia F. at 8:13 AM on May 17, 2013

Not zombies please - it's a dead meme.
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:16 AM on May 17, 2013

Oh, come on!
posted by croutonsupafreak at 8:16 AM on May 17, 2013

Right in time for GRARing hour. Fridayyy. GRAR
posted by Namlit at 8:29 AM on May 17, 2013

PQ
posted by Namlit at 8:29 AM on May 17, 2013

Puns are the lowest form of humor.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 8:30 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Querelous complaints about puns again? Quite clearly out of line!
posted by snorkmaiden at 8:33 AM on May 17, 2013

Read past the complaints, see only the joy.
posted by donnagirl at 8:36 AM on May 17, 2013

Surely this will be over soon.
posted by Lizard at 8:45 AM on May 17, 2013

Time to join the alphabet.
posted by klangklangston at 8:50 AM on May 17, 2013

Unfortunately, the thread's already to the point where it won't load on my phone, so I suspect it's going to slow down from now on.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 8:50 AM on May 17, 2013

Very sad, but probably inevitable. My laptop fan just kicked into high gear for the refresh.
posted by donnagirl at 8:53 AM on May 17, 2013

Valyrian Steel. That was the name of my band in Academy. We were a pre-industrial punk band. I played first chair.
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 8:54 AM on May 17, 2013

What's this about phones?
posted by The Whelk at 8:55 AM on May 17, 2013

Xenophon wrote Anabasis.
posted by Ndwright at 8:59 AM on May 17, 2013

Y are you all giving up so soon? Just get more wine!
posted by foxhat10 at 9:00 AM on May 17, 2013

Zinfandel isn't good at 11am
posted by donnagirl at 9:01 AM on May 17, 2013

Yuck. It takes so long to actually post the comments after I hit post, that we skip a letter or two after I've commented. I'm really needing that time machine I asked jessamyn for at the beggining of this thread.
posted by The Riker Who Mounts the World at 9:01 AM on May 17, 2013

Laconism?
posted by clavdivs at 9:01 AM on May 17, 2013

Aaaaaand, I'm putting us back on track for my 100th comment in this thread.
posted by donnagirl at 9:03 AM on May 17, 2013

But...?
posted by foxhat10 at 9:05 AM on May 17, 2013

Could you elaborate on that but?
posted by donnagirl at 9:06 AM on May 17, 2013

Drats, i'm fresh out of elaborations, donnagirl. guess i need some wine!
posted by foxhat10 at 9:09 AM on May 17, 2013

E is not a common starting letter for wine varieties, I've just learned.
posted by snorkmaiden at 9:12 AM on May 17, 2013

Fermentation is necessary, from what I understand.
posted by Mooski at 9:15 AM on May 17, 2013

Grapes, too.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:16 AM on May 17, 2013

Hold on, what if wine isn't our preferred beverage? Lets not be drink-ist.
posted by donnagirl at 9:20 AM on May 17, 2013

Izsáki is a Hungarian grape variety used in the production of white wine in eastern Europe. Also known as White Kadarka, Izsáki is thought to be related to the Kadarka variety used in the production of Hungary’s iconic Bull’s Blood wine.
posted by The Whelk at 9:22 AM on May 17, 2013

Jack, Johnny, or Jameson, anyone? (My favorites actually start with B but I can't break the chain)
posted by donnagirl at 9:24 AM on May 17, 2013

Ketamine.
posted by The Whelk at 9:29 AM on May 17, 2013

Lonesome Charlie.
posted by mazola at 9:30 AM on May 17, 2013

Mojitos!
posted by snorkmaiden at 9:31 AM on May 17, 2013

No Name Red.
posted by mazola at 9:32 AM on May 17, 2013

Ok, all this talk about wine is making me want chocolate.
posted by foxhat10 at 9:37 AM on May 17, 2013

Port and cigars in the library.
posted by The Whelk at 9:38 AM on May 17, 2013

Q Wine.
posted by mazola at 9:39 AM on May 17, 2013

RATS! ...
posted by mazola at 9:39 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Such restraint.
posted by fleacircus at 9:40 AM on May 17, 2013

To be sure.
posted by mazola at 9:41 AM on May 17, 2013

Understated compromise, I heartily approve!
posted by donnagirl at 9:51 AM on May 17, 2013

Vitamin M!
posted by Mister_A at 10:16 AM on May 17, 2013

What is this "vitamin M"? Never heard of it.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 10:18 AM on May 17, 2013

What?
posted by Sys Rq at 10:18 AM on May 17, 2013

Xcrutifuckingating . So near.
posted by adamvasco at 10:19 AM on May 17, 2013

Yet so far.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 10:21 AM on May 17, 2013

Zinfidel, Death to the.
posted by Kabanos at 10:24 AM on May 17, 2013

zeugma!
posted by iamkimiam at 10:24 AM on May 17, 2013

AHHH, not again dammit!
posted by iamkimiam at 10:24 AM on May 17, 2013

Aargh. I had the Zucchini bread pancake recipe up and running.
posted by Sophie1 at 10:25 AM on May 17, 2013

Between you and me, have you ever heard of the tale of Sisyphus?
posted by jeremias at 10:26 AM on May 17, 2013

Can't push a pancake up a mountain though.
posted by Sophie1 at 10:26 AM on May 17, 2013

Donuts are easy though
posted by Sys Rq at 10:28 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Donuts would be much easier.
posted by donnagirl at 10:28 AM on May 17, 2013

Didn't it ever occur to him that the rock, being round and all, wouldn't stay atop the hill anyway?
posted by iamkimiam at 10:29 AM on May 17, 2013

Exactly what I was thinking, Sys Rq.
posted by donnagirl at 10:29 AM on May 17, 2013

Feels more like eternal recurrence to me.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 10:29 AM on May 17, 2013

Everloving fuck, I stutter at alphabet game.
posted by iamkimiam at 10:29 AM on May 17, 2013

FOR FUCKS SAKE.
posted by iamkimiam at 10:30 AM on May 17, 2013

Gracious, such language!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 10:31 AM on May 17, 2013

Holy fuck, Batman!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:31 AM on May 17, 2013

Hell, why push the donut when you could just eat it?
posted by rtha at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2013

I swear I previewed!
posted by rtha at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2013

I'm covering my ears -- can't handle the profanity!
posted by croutonsupafreak at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2013

It was on the ground
posted by Sys Rq at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Just don't worry about it.
posted by donnagirl at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Just kidding. You all fucking rock.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2013

Hell.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2013

Krullers probably are in order now, we finished the donuts.
posted by donnagirl at 10:33 AM on May 17, 2013

Let me share a recipe....

Nipples of Venus (Capezzoli di Venere) or Chocolate Truffles of Venus

Ingredients:
12 ounces high quality dark chocolate, chopped
16 ounces canned whole chestnuts, drained
6 tablespoons butter, softened
1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brandy
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
12 ounces high quality white chocolate, chopped -divided
1 dash powdered red food coloring

Directions:
1. Place the dark chocolate into the top part of a double boiler over simmering water, and let the chocolate melt. Turn off the heat and let the chocolate cool.
2. Place the chestnuts into the work bowl of a food processor, and process until the chestnuts are smoothly pureed, about 1 minute.
3. Beat together the butter and sugar with an electric mixer until the mixture is light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Stir in the chestnuts, brandy, and vanilla extract until the mixture is smooth. Stir in the chocolate, and pinch off about 1 tablespoon of filling per truffle. Roll the mixture into balls about 1 inch in diameter. If the mixture is too soft to hold its shape, chill for several minutes in refrigerator.
4. Reserve about 1 ounce of white chocolate for tempering, and about 1 ounce for coloring. Melt the remaining 10 ounces of white chocolate over simmering water in a double boiler until the chocolate is melted and warm but not hot (about 105 degrees F (40 degrees C)). Remove the pan containing the melted chocolate from the double boiler, and add about 1 ounce of chopped, unmelted white chocolate. Stir the chocolate until the unmelted pieces of chocolate melt, and the temperature drops to 80 to 82 degrees F (27 to 28 degrees C)).
5. Carefully dip each center in the melted white chocolate, and gently place the truffle onto a piece of parchment paper or waxed paper to cool and harden, about 15 minutes.
6. Melt the remaining 1 ounce of chopped white chocolate over simmering water in a double boiler until the chocolate is melted and warm but not hot. Stir in a very small amount of powdered red food coloring until you get a desired shade of pink. Dip a little colored chocolate out with a spoon, dot each truffle with a pink dot, and allow the pink chocolate dots to set, about 15 minutes. Place the truffles into paper candy cups to serve.
posted by zarq at 10:40 AM on May 17, 2013

Mmmmm.
Also: Love them krullers. Yum.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 10:41 AM on May 17, 2013

Nipples.
posted by Sophie1 at 10:44 AM on May 17, 2013

Oipples and banoinois.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:52 AM on May 17, 2013

Pancakes, Zucchini Bread Pancakes

A couple pancake overarching theories: Thin pancake batters make large puddles of flatter pancakes that are harder to manage, but cook quickly and always cook through. Thicker pancake batters make taller pancakes that take on crisp edges and tender insides. But, they also don’t always cook through 100% on the stove. To ensure they’re all cooked through when you serve them, it’s good to keep them in a warm oven for about 10 minutes before serving. The advantage of this, of course, is that all pancakes are warm when you’re ready to put them on the table. You can also keep pancakes warm in the same oven until everyone is ready to eat.

I keep the sugar level really low in pancakes because we love a sweet topping on ours, and I love the contrast between unsweet and sweet in any baked good. If you’re someone who doesn’t like maple syrup or anything sticky or sweet on top of your pancakes, you might want another spoonful of sugar inside your pancakes.

Makes 10 to 12 pancakes
2 large eggs
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons light brown, dark brown or granulated sugar
1/4 cup buttermilk or 2 tablespoons each of milk and plain yogurt, whisked until smooth
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups shredded zucchini (from about 9 ounces whole, or 1 1/2 medium zucchini), heaping cups are fine
1 cup all-purpose flour (half can seamlessly be swapped with a whole wheat flour)
1/4 teaspoon table salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground or freshly grated nutmeg
Butter or oil, for coating skillet
In a large bowl, combine eggs, olive oil, sugar, buttermilk and vanilla until smooth. Stir in zucchini shreds. In a smaller bowl, whisk together flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg. Stir dry ingredients into zucchini batter, mixing until just combined.
Preheat oven to 200°F and place a tray — foil-lined if you’re into doing fewer dishes later — on a middle rack.
Heat a large, heavy skillet (my favorite for pancakes is a cast-iron) over medium heat. Once hot, melt a pat of butter in pan and swirl it around until it sizzles. Scoop scant 1/4-cup dollops of batter (mine were about 3 tablespoons each) in pan so the puddles do not touch. Cook until bubbles appear on the surface, about 2 to 3 minutes. Flip pancakes and cook another minute or two, until golden underneath. Transfer pancakes to prepared pan to keep warm as well as ensure that they’re all cooked through when they’re served. Repeat with remaining batter. Serve warm.
posted by Sophie1 at 10:53 AM on May 17, 2013 [6 favorites]

Quasi-funny joke:

One day in school, the teacher wanted her kids to go through the
alphabet and give a word that started with each letter. She started
with 'A'.

Dirty Ernie was waving his arm higher than all the other kids. She
didn't want to call on him, because he was a pervert and always said
bad things.

She called on Betty instead. Betty stood up and said "Apple".

"Very good, Betty! Next is the letter 'B' ." Again, Ernie was waving
his arm as high as he could, but she picked Andy instead.

"Butterfly."

"Excellent, Andy! How about 'C' ." Ernie was almost having a seizure
he was waving so hard. The teacher picked Billy, still afraid of what
Ernie would say.

"Caterpillar."

"Great job, Billy!"

She continued going through the alphabet, never calling on Ernie. When
she got to 'R', Ernie was the only child waving his arm. She thought
to herself and couldn't think of anything too bad that started with
'R' so she said, "OK Ernie, give me a word that starts with 'R' ."

Ernie stood up straight, smiled and yelled...

posted by mazola at 10:53 AM on May 17, 2013

RATS!!!! ...
posted by mazola at 10:54 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Somehow that seems familiar.
posted by donnagirl at 10:55 AM on May 17, 2013

There. I'm done with that now :)
posted by mazola at 10:55 AM on May 17, 2013

U sure?
posted by donnagirl at 11:06 AM on May 17, 2013

Very.
posted by mazola at 11:09 AM on May 17, 2013

Well, I liked it.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:10 AM on May 17, 2013

X-rated Ernie. That would have been a better name.
posted by jeremias at 11:14 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yeeeeeesh, you guys, I just watch the Elementary finale. Do we have an open thread for Elementary discussion? I obviously have to talk about this with like-minded others. Come ON interbutts!
posted by WidgetAlley at 11:16 AM on May 17, 2013

Zip on over here, WidgetAlley. Those are your peeps.
posted by donnagirl at 11:19 AM on May 17, 2013

Again!
posted by yellowbinder at 11:23 AM on May 17, 2013

Bloody hell - I missed the A...again! Any tips on making sure I get the A?
posted by foxhat10 at 11:28 AM on May 17, 2013

Calmly start to post before the Z appears. There's usually a long gap after Y. Preview, preview, preview, see the Z, post.
posted by donnagirl at 11:31 AM on May 17, 2013

Don't preview, just dive in and hope. Meanwhile I keep missing my chance to link to Z is for Moose, which my son returned to the library yesterday and then immediately checked out again. It's a cute book.
posted by ook at 11:32 AM on May 17, 2013

Either approach works.
posted by donnagirl at 11:34 AM on May 17, 2013

Frequently neither one works, but it's just a game...
posted by ook at 11:35 AM on May 17, 2013

Good point.
posted by donnagirl at 11:36 AM on May 17, 2013

Heck, it looks like a few of us may be shirking our work duties this afternoon...
posted by foxhat10 at 11:39 AM on May 17, 2013

I get off early in 20 minutes due to long weekend!
posted by yellowbinder at 11:40 AM on May 17, 2013

Jeepers. 1400 comments.
posted by zarq at 11:41 AM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Just say no to working on Fridays.
posted by donnagirl at 11:41 AM on May 17, 2013

Keep coming in at the K
and don't have anything to say.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:42 AM on May 17, 2013

Keep it going - isn't there a goal of 10,000 comments??
posted by foxhat10 at 11:42 AM on May 17, 2013

Kudos to the first person to comment every letter.
posted by iamkimiam at 11:42 AM on May 17, 2013

lol guys 3 ks in a row so racist wtf
posted by phunniemee at 11:44 AM on May 17, 2013

mmmmmmm

Lick the thread.

Don't lick the thread.

Lick the thread.

Don't lick the thread.

Decisions... decisions....
posted by zarq at 11:45 AM on May 17, 2013

Now I need to tally my letters thanks to iamkimiam.
posted by donnagirl at 11:46 AM on May 17, 2013

Oh L'amour
posted by zarq at 11:49 AM on May 17, 2013

Peter Piper picked peppers, but Run rocked rhymes.
Humpty Dumpty fell down, that's his hard time.
posted by jeremias at 11:57 AM on May 17, 2013

Quota reached. I'm out!
posted by mazola at 11:57 AM on May 17, 2013

Realizing I've hit all the letters, with a frequency range of 2-8.
posted by donnagirl at 11:58 AM on May 17, 2013

Pourquoi pas!
posted by snorkmaiden at 11:58 AM on May 17, 2013

Score one for a slightly obsessive personality.
posted by donnagirl at 11:58 AM on May 17, 2013

There's one for ya!
posted by foxhat10 at 11:59 AM on May 17, 2013

Unexpectedly, "Z" was my most frequent hit.
posted by donnagirl at 12:00 PM on May 17, 2013

Vengaboys are coming.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:14 PM on May 17, 2013

We like to party.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:14 PM on May 17, 2013

Xactly what are Vengaboys??
posted by foxhat10 at 12:16 PM on May 17, 2013

Yes, please explain.
posted by donnagirl at 12:17 PM on May 17, 2013

Z-list Eurodance group from the 1990s. Also known as responsible for the Six Flags guys song ("We Like To Party" with the chorus "The Vengabus is coming.")
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:20 PM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zoiks! Here I am Scoobs! At Z!
posted by foxhat10 at 12:20 PM on May 17, 2013

And that's my life in a nutshell.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:20 PM on May 17, 2013

Brazilian nutshell, perhaps?
posted by foxhat10 at 12:21 PM on May 17, 2013

Can only think of "we like to party, we don't botha nobody..."
posted by foxhat10 at 12:22 PM on May 17, 2013

Dance, dance, dance, dance / Strike it up, this band / Is gonna play my tune / Strike it up, I wanna / I wanna tell you so
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:26 PM on May 17, 2013

Damn, I remember the Vengaboys. I wonder if there's enough content for an FPP...
posted by zarq at 12:26 PM on May 17, 2013

Everybody, Everybody
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:26 PM on May 17, 2013

For all your 1990s dance pop needs, apparently, I'm your man.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:26 PM on May 17, 2013

Gonna make you sweat til you bleed

(okay I'm done now)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:27 PM on May 17, 2013

How is this thread still open?
posted by Gordafarin at 12:32 PM on May 17, 2013

It just is!
posted by snorkmaiden at 12:33 PM on May 17, 2013

Just no reason to close it.
posted by donnagirl at 12:34 PM on May 17, 2013

Keep it around, it's fun.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:41 PM on May 17, 2013

Look, I flexed Friday, so y'all had better entertain me.
posted by arcticseal at 12:48 PM on May 17, 2013

Mornington Crescent.
posted by Wordshore at 12:49 PM on May 17, 2013

Not alphabetically, surely?!
posted by snorkmaiden at 12:52 PM on May 17, 2013

Oh, definitely alphabetically...
posted by Wordshore at 12:53 PM on May 17, 2013

Order of the day is to alphabetize. and don't call me shirley.
posted by foxhat10 at 12:53 PM on May 17, 2013

Poop, double O'd.
posted by foxhat10 at 12:54 PM on May 17, 2013

Quite an 'O' pile-up, there.
posted by Wordshore at 12:55 PM on May 17, 2013

Really o-y.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:58 PM on May 17, 2013

So what?
posted by snorkmaiden at 12:59 PM on May 17, 2013

Think of the O's
posted by shothotbot at 1:00 PM on May 17, 2013

Unbelievable! What about the R's? and the S's? and the X's...?
posted by foxhat10 at 1:02 PM on May 17, 2013

Very sad, that.
posted by shothotbot at 1:03 PM on May 17, 2013

Well, tonight is Friday night, my wife has book club, I have to stay home with the kids, I have two bottles of scotch, and an open alphabet thread.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:04 PM on May 17, 2013

Xcellent, Slarty! However, time for me to rid myself of the square eyes and start the weekend. Have a great one, mefites! :)
posted by foxhat10 at 1:05 PM on May 17, 2013

You know, I just want one unbroken chain. One. Is that too much to ask? Rhetorical question, because if I were to actually ask something in this thread that might be interpreted by a moderator incorrectly and they'll take our ball away.
posted by jeremias at 1:13 PM on May 17, 2013

Zebedee was my favorite character from the Magic Roundabout.
posted by Wordshore at 1:18 PM on May 17, 2013

Alright; and again, the wheel ...
posted by Wordshore at 1:19 PM on May 17, 2013

begins
posted by Wordshore at 1:19 PM on May 17, 2013

Can we close this thread up, moderators? I think it's run its course now. Thanks.
posted by Wordshore at 1:19 PM on May 17, 2013

Don't close this thread, mods! It can freewheel on forever, or whenever it takes down MetaFilter, whichever comes first...
posted by Wordshore at 1:19 PM on May 17, 2013

Even if the mods close it, the spirit will live
posted by shothotbot at 1:22 PM on May 17, 2013

FOREVER!
posted by Kabanos at 1:22 PM on May 17, 2013

Good start to jeremias' unbroken chain.
posted by donnagirl at 1:24 PM on May 17, 2013

Hope it keeps going...
posted by Wordshore at 1:25 PM on May 17, 2013

I do too.
posted by Kabanos at 1:26 PM on May 17, 2013

Just think positively.
posted by donnagirl at 1:26 PM on May 17, 2013

K+ is positively charged.
posted by Kabanos at 1:30 PM on May 17, 2013

Let's do this!
posted by Wordshore at 1:40 PM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Maintain maintain maintain
posted by donnagirl at 1:47 PM on May 17, 2013

Now I'm all anxious, cause I want in on the award-winning chain, but don't wanna f' it up. Ha! Wouldn't that be rich. Rich I tell you! What letter is least likely to double? Probably Q, but then that's what everyone thinks so it's too easy. But, n . . n is a conservative consonant right? Overshadowed by it's big brother m, n is also the 14th letter of the alphabet, so we are now more than 1/2 way through.

So I'm starting this ahead of time and this typing isn't nervous energy at all, nope. It's more like I need to look like I'm working when it is clear that on a Friday afternoon with 20 minutes to go I'm really not. Well, I am working, working on making this the best motherfuckin' alphabet thread in the universe! Yeah, take that dog! Cause goddamn, this is the internet so I can swear if I want to. It's a free country. Bits and bytes are free. If I was a millionaire I would buy everyone in this thread a beer, but I'm not.
posted by jeremias at 1:48 PM on May 17, 2013

Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
posted by Kabanos at 1:56 PM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Probably because I've already contributed to the letters A, E, I, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, S, T, U, W, X, and Y, (and my page wasn't updating) here's P again.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:04 PM on May 17, 2013

Questioning why I keep coming back to this thread.
posted by dg at 2:15 PM on May 17, 2013

Really? I haven't done R yet? Here it is.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:20 PM on May 17, 2013

Surely trolls are all that can stop us now.
posted by donnagirl at 2:21 PM on May 17, 2013

Trolls manipulating the edit window will doom this thread.
posted by klangklangston at 2:22 PM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Use the edit window, klang.
posted by donnagirl at 2:23 PM on May 17, 2013

Very boring waiting for the letters I haven't done to come around. (But my next one is Zucchini)
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:29 PM on May 17, 2013

When did "Zucchini" become a letter?
posted by .kobayashi. at 2:40 PM on May 17, 2013

XANADU!
posted by Kabanos at 2:50 PM on May 17, 2013

You beat me while trying to find a good way to work 'xeriscape' into a sentence.
posted by Gordafarin at 2:52 PM on May 17, 2013

ZOOBILEE ZOO!
posted by Sys Rq at 2:53 PM on May 17, 2013

You can have another chance, Gordafarin, if we go backwards this time.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:04 PM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

XANADU?
posted by DaddyNewt at 3:32 PM on May 17, 2013

Why the hell not!
posted by iamkimiam at 3:34 PM on May 17, 2013

Very nice! I will never ask for another thing in this window again!
posted by jeremias at 3:38 PM on May 17, 2013

Wonder if Billy Zane calls his mansion/trailer/budoir Zanedu
posted by fleacircus at 3:45 PM on May 17, 2013

Unbroken chain so far!

On preview, crap!
posted by arcticseal at 3:45 PM on May 17, 2013

Too much to expect, I guess
posted by dg at 4:21 PM on May 17, 2013

So glad I removed this from RA.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:44 PM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

RA is for suckers
posted by Sys Rq at 4:45 PM on May 17, 2013

RA is for closers
posted by The Whelk at 4:48 PM on May 17, 2013

Queer that we are going in the opposite direction now.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 4:55 PM on May 17, 2013

Pun Direction
posted by Sys Rq at 5:04 PM on May 17, 2013

OMG ALPHABET THREAD?
posted by localhuman at 5:07 PM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Nun Direction
posted by Sys Rq at 5:08 PM on May 17, 2013

Mackwards?
posted by dg at 5:13 PM on May 17, 2013

Lovely!
posted by slothhog at 5:16 PM on May 17, 2013

Kids these days. *shakes head*
posted by carsonb at 5:18 PM on May 17, 2013

Just a minute... what happened to the alphabet?!?!
posted by booksherpa at 5:36 PM on May 17, 2013

Is this going to run for the full 30 days?
posted by Area Man at 5:39 PM on May 17, 2013

Ho ho ho!
posted by RedOrGreen at 5:50 PM on May 17, 2013

Gosh.
posted by maryr at 5:53 PM on May 17, 2013

Ferns: I love them.
posted by Dr. Zira at 5:57 PM on May 17, 2013

Eggs: I ________ them.
posted by jeremias at 5:59 PM on May 17, 2013

Dye?
posted by maryr at 6:13 PM on May 17, 2013

Can y'all really keep this up?
posted by Maecenas at 6:15 PM on May 17, 2013

Bet you we can
posted by The Whelk at 6:31 PM on May 17, 2013

Any idea which way we go now?
posted by Area Man at 6:35 PM on May 17, 2013

Back the way we came? But either is valid.
posted by donnagirl at 6:46 PM on May 17, 2013

Can we keep it up? Sure, way better that I can keep it up in other contexts ;-)
posted by dg at 7:05 PM on May 17, 2013

Dude.
posted by box at 7:24 PM on May 17, 2013

Effin' A!
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:26 PM on May 17, 2013

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugedaboutit.
posted by box at 7:29 PM on May 17, 2013

Giant, tame, saddle-able hamsters, think about it.
posted by The Whelk at 7:31 PM on May 17, 2013

Horserats, basically?
posted by donnagirl at 7:32 PM on May 17, 2013

Imagine it! I can see so many uses for Horserats.
posted by The Whelk at 7:36 PM on May 17, 2013

I'm not sure I want to meet a horserat in person.
posted by arcticseal at 7:36 PM on May 17, 2013

Just recently I've been thinking about the Thirty Years War, and how it was ended by the Treaty of Westphalia. How long can a thing like that go on? Thirty Years, or thirty days, is a long unit of time, hard to conceptualize. But people adjust their time-frames, and learn to think about actions that play out over a longer period of time.

Is there a biological clock for wars? As a war gets closer to thirty years, does it start to wonder about its future? Does it question its own existence in a way that the war didn't do back when it was in its teens, and war was all fresh and exciting?
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:40 PM on May 17, 2013

Kick me in the head if I ever describe war as "fresh and exciting".
posted by donnagirl at 7:42 PM on May 17, 2013

Love me some Westphalian sovereignty.
posted by Dr. Zira at 8:00 PM on May 17, 2013

Lemur, right behind you!
posted by localhuman at 8:01 PM on May 17, 2013

Man that lemur scared the crap outta me.
posted by donnagirl at 8:05 PM on May 17, 2013

No lemur ever scared the crap outta John Wayne, pilgrim.
posted by jeremias at 8:33 PM on May 17, 2013

Orangutangs, on the other hand...
posted by maryr at 8:34 PM on May 17, 2013

Possums, too.
posted by donnagirl at 8:37 PM on May 17, 2013

Quetzals, I saw one once in the jungles near Tikal and it damn near spooked me.
posted by jeremias at 8:39 PM on May 17, 2013

Rabbits can be terrifying.
posted by donnagirl at 8:42 PM on May 17, 2013

So can horserats.
posted by third rail at 8:46 PM on May 17, 2013

Those damned dirty horserats!
posted by Dr. Zira at 8:58 PM on May 17, 2013

Unusually sized rodents? I don't think they exist.
posted by maryr at 8:59 PM on May 17, 2013

VRAK SAYS AGGGGHH RODENTS
posted by vrakatar at 9:09 PM on May 17, 2013

Wren Mafia is what the husband and I call those groups of little wrens that flock near the patios of restaurants and fight off other birds for the crumbs.
posted by booksherpa at 9:13 PM on May 17, 2013

X-Men could easily fend off rodents.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:16 PM on May 17, 2013

Yaks, though? Could they handle yaks?
posted by donnagirl at 9:19 PM on May 17, 2013

Zira's research indicates yaks would be no match for horserats of unusual size.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:23 PM on May 17, 2013

Zucchini, best deep-fried version in the California Central Coast region here.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:24 PM on May 17, 2013

You beat me again, Dr. Zira! Curses!
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:24 PM on May 17, 2013

Xylophone practice, two hours, is an appropriate punishment for me.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:25 PM on May 17, 2013

Innit!
posted by dg at 9:28 PM on May 17, 2013

With a little horserat roping thrown in for good measure.
posted by donnagirl at 9:28 PM on May 17, 2013

Very large failure in magic refresh!
posted by dg at 9:30 PM on May 17, 2013

Understatement.
posted by donnagirl at 9:31 PM on May 17, 2013

Tell me what you mean by "magic refresh", by the way.
posted by donnagirl at 9:33 PM on May 17, 2013

'sup people?
posted by carter at 9:38 PM on May 17, 2013

Recursive repetitions
posted by Rumple at 9:39 PM on May 17, 2013

quite.
posted by The Whelk at 9:51 PM on May 17, 2013

Probably time to accept that this thread is just going to go on and on and on and
posted by Lizard at 10:01 PM on May 17, 2013

On and on and on...
posted by Lizard at 10:02 PM on May 17, 2013

Perpetually, even.
posted by bardophile at 10:05 PM on May 17, 2013

Oops we were going backwards.
posted by donnagirl at 10:06 PM on May 17, 2013

No excuses. I just didn't read.
posted by bardophile at 10:07 PM on May 17, 2013

Might not make the varsity alphabet reversey team with those moves
posted by localhuman at 10:10 PM on May 17, 2013

Like anybody is really paying attention...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:10 PM on May 17, 2013

Knife to the heart! and curses! I had my heart set on that varsity letter!
posted by bardophile at 10:11 PM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Junior varsity alphabet reversey team letters are also impressive.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:17 PM on May 17, 2013

I don't think there has been a single time through without some kind of fuck up...
posted by Lizard at 10:20 PM on May 17, 2013

Hey, the round starting here is a perfect A-Z, though the edit window might have helped.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:28 PM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Hey, I noticed several perfect A-Z's and at least one perfect Z-A.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:28 PM on May 17, 2013

Golly gee, this won't be one of them.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:33 PM on May 17, 2013

Foop Everything!
I get a major kick out of where he chooses to use the "FOOP FOOP" sound effect
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:33 PM on May 17, 2013

Every day I'm shuff-a-lin'
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:51 PM on May 17, 2013

d'oh, no big deal donnagirl. The 'x new comments' thing didn't load all the comments is all.
posted by dg at 10:52 PM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Certainly everyone is still having fun.
posted by donnagirl at 10:53 PM on May 17, 2013

Cor, yes ma'am.
posted by dg at 10:59 PM on May 17, 2013

Because we can!
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:01 PM on May 17, 2013

And here's the decision point - backwards or forwards?
posted by donnagirl at 11:02 PM on May 17, 2013

Bugger! It appears that about 1,500 comments is where a MeTa thread becomes impossible on an iPad.
posted by dg at 11:03 PM on May 17, 2013

But backwards starts with B...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:03 PM on May 17, 2013

Can I have a "D'OH-over"?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:04 PM on May 17, 2013

D'OH.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:04 PM on May 17, 2013

Easy decision, that one
posted by dg at 11:05 PM on May 17, 2013

For what it's worth, edit window abuse takes care of all that extra d'oh.
posted by donnagirl at 11:05 PM on May 17, 2013

Good God, this thread is ridiculous.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 11:07 PM on May 17, 2013

How so?
posted by dg at 11:13 PM on May 17, 2013

In many delightful ways, really. Ridiculous can be a compliment if you squint at it.
posted by donnagirl at 11:14 PM on May 17, 2013

Just came in to ask why everyone in here is squinting.
posted by onlyconnect at 11:18 PM on May 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Keep going... got... to... keep... going...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:43 PM on May 17, 2013

Legs ... this thread has legs ... it will run, and run ...
posted by Wordshore at 11:47 PM on May 17, 2013

Moo!
posted by phaedon at 11:48 PM on May 17, 2013

Nice and quiet tonight. Except for those damn cows.
posted by donnagirl at 11:57 PM on May 17, 2013

Over here it's sunny. And hot. But still quiet.
posted by bardophile at 12:08 AM on May 18, 2013

Panties. Panties and parties. That was our life for years. God I miss her.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:21 AM on May 18, 2013

Quit eulogizing me she would say. But she was so beautiful. I can't forget her.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:22 AM on May 18, 2013

Ruminants are so beautiful.
posted by flabdablet at 12:23 AM on May 18, 2013

Random memory. We were flying kites and our strings got tangled. I don't know if I've ever been more in love.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:24 AM on May 18, 2013

She didn't think she would ever die. When she died I didn't think she did.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:25 AM on May 18, 2013

Two little flowers keep growing on her grave. I trim them back every year, but they keep growing.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:26 AM on May 18, 2013

Underneath everything I do, I still think of her.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:27 AM on May 18, 2013

You find that one person, and you love them, and they go away. And you end up crying every morning because you miss them.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:28 AM on May 18, 2013

Very touching but OUT OF ORDER
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:35 AM on May 18, 2013

Z is the last letter. It ends with Z. But she would tell me sometimes, as we watched the sunset, "nothing really ends. It seems to end, but it all starts over."
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:38 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

All??
posted by barnacles at 12:51 AM on May 18, 2013

Beaten to the post; I was just about to start it all again.
posted by adamvasco at 12:53 AM on May 18, 2013

Cold and beaten, the dog crawled to my door.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:57 AM on May 18, 2013

"Don't kill me yet." the dog said.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:57 AM on May 18, 2013

Dog-gone cold?
posted by dg at 12:58 AM on May 18, 2013

"Every dog has his day. Right?" he barked. "Can we talk about this?"
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:59 AM on May 18, 2013

For what it's worth, I didn't believe him. I didn't believe that animals like that had feelings and thoughts. But I gave him another chance.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:01 AM on May 18, 2013

Goodness, it's still going. I'm happy with that. It's my birthday!
posted by lordaych at 1:05 AM on May 18, 2013

Happy birthday!
posted by dg at 1:06 AM on May 18, 2013

I didn't even see that coming until I came back to the tab after exploring this for a minute.

Thanks!
posted by lordaych at 1:08 AM on May 18, 2013

Just wondering if you noticed that the woman in the background of photo 12 appears to be firmly grasping her own breasts?
posted by dg at 1:16 AM on May 18, 2013

Kekeke! I most certainly did. </not Korean or Korean-ist>
posted by lordaych at 1:22 AM on May 18, 2013

Last chance to place your bets before Eurovision tonight.
posted by Wordshore at 1:30 AM on May 18, 2013

My Eurovision bet is on Framistan. They have kazoos.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:37 AM on May 18, 2013

No Eurovision here.
posted by bardophile at 1:38 AM on May 18, 2013

Nobody gets my bet, for I care not about Eurovision.
posted by dg at 1:39 AM on May 18, 2013

Odds are shortening on "Alcohol is free" by Greece.
posted by Wordshore at 1:45 AM on May 18, 2013

Party poopers. You could at least cheer for a fictional country like Framistan. (I've heard if their kazoo band wins, they'll change the country's name to Kazoonia)
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:46 AM on May 18, 2013

Quiet. Too quiet.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:59 AM on May 18, 2013

R is the only letter I haven't made at least one entry for.
NOT ANYMORE.

Now to begin Phase TWO of my Master Plan.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:59 AM on May 18, 2013

Selecting the edit window is often useful.
posted by Wordshore at 2:01 AM on May 18, 2013

The Edit Window is a frequent site for defenestration.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:05 AM on May 18, 2013

Um, that's probably better than masturbation in the edit window - the italics button gets all sticky.
posted by dg at 2:23 AM on May 18, 2013

Verily I say unto you, never go into the window below, for you will never emerge. It's metaphysical and will eat your existential organs

┌─┬─┐       
├─┼─┤
└─┴─┘

posted by lordaych at 2:26 AM on May 18, 2013

Well it could be pataphysical maybe.
posted by adamvasco at 2:36 AM on May 18, 2013

Xanthine, Methyl = Friend

		
                 CH3
                  |
                  N
                 / \
            N---C   C==O
           ||  ||   |
           ||  ||   |
           CH   C   N--CH3
             \ / \ /            
              N   C
              |  ||
             CH3  O

posted by lordaych at 2:46 AM on May 18, 2013

You can pay ThinkGeek to come to your house and brand that on your forehead.
posted by fleacircus at 2:56 AM on May 18, 2013

Zylene. What about Zylene?
posted by dg at 3:01 AM on May 18, 2013

Ambiguous; is that Xylene or Zylene?
posted by adamvasco at 3:11 AM on May 18, 2013

Both available as free ass tattoos with purchase of TARDIS USB hub.
posted by fleacircus at 3:12 AM on May 18, 2013

Can I vent for a second? I went out to see this Kanye West "New Slaves" projection thing tonight but apparently it started early so I missed it and now I'm bummed that I put forth any effort. Okay, cool, thanks for listening, I feel a bit better.
posted by dogwalker at 3:32 AM on May 18, 2013

Don't mention it.
posted by flabdablet at 3:53 AM on May 18, 2013

Entirely different, indeed completely different.
posted by adamvasco at 4:14 AM on May 18, 2013

FFS will someone else wake up!
posted by adamvasco at 5:15 AM on May 18, 2013

Good morning, adamvasco!
posted by beryllium at 5:17 AM on May 18, 2013

Hello everyone!
posted by ook at 5:20 AM on May 18, 2013

Haha! I bought a fog machine and. Disco ball from a shady guy off Craigslist last night. I am very pleased with myself.
posted by shothotbot at 5:23 AM on May 18, 2013

Is everyone ready for a dance part at shothotbot's?
posted by Area Man at 5:28 AM on May 18, 2013

I regret not previewing.
posted by shothotbot at 5:28 AM on May 18, 2013

Just happened again
posted by shothotbot at 5:29 AM on May 18, 2013

Ket race then yea
posted by yoHighness at 5:39 AM on May 18, 2013

Let's list some other things we'd need at our disco party!
posted by onlyconnect at 6:14 AM on May 18, 2013

Medallions.
posted by fleacircus at 6:18 AM on May 18, 2013

Night vision glasses!
posted by onlyconnect at 6:33 AM on May 18, 2013

Oxygen tanks
posted by donnagirl at 6:34 AM on May 18, 2013

Projector Lights.
posted by adamvasco at 6:38 AM on May 18, 2013

Questlove
posted by Area Man at 6:39 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Richard Proenneke.
posted by clavdivs at 6:41 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Stefan from Saturday Night Live
posted by onlyconnect at 6:42 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Turquoise jewelry, and lots of it.
posted by donnagirl at 6:45 AM on May 18, 2013

Umbrellas for our drinks.
posted by donnagirl at 6:54 AM on May 18, 2013

V-necks
posted by fleacircus at 6:59 AM on May 18, 2013

Why would you want Richard Proenneke at a disco?
posted by adamvasco at 7:00 AM on May 18, 2013

Xylophonists
posted by donnagirl at 7:04 AM on May 18, 2013

Yards and yards of high quality cocaine.
posted by The Whelk at 7:06 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

You know, I should have said vibraphonists.
posted by fleacircus at 7:06 AM on May 18, 2013

Zardoz cosplay outfits.
posted by fleacircus at 7:08 AM on May 18, 2013

Zebra patterned couches, of course.
posted by The Whelk at 7:08 AM on May 18, 2013

ABBA
posted by onlyconnect at 7:10 AM on May 18, 2013

Bass!
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:11 AM on May 18, 2013

Confetti cannons
posted by donnagirl at 7:14 AM on May 18, 2013

Did we need Richard Proenneke around in case the party goes really, REALLY well and we get cut off from the rest of society?
posted by onlyconnect at 7:14 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Emergency medical personnel
posted by onlyconnect at 7:26 AM on May 18, 2013

Flamingo headdresses
posted by donnagirl at 7:28 AM on May 18, 2013

God, the lapels.
posted by fleacircus at 7:29 AM on May 18, 2013

Hot pants. With sequins.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:33 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ice sculptures of the mods.
posted by fleacircus at 7:34 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

John Travolta's hairy chest
posted by onlyconnect at 7:35 AM on May 18, 2013

Kriss Kross keeping Richard Proenneke company in a quiet corner.
posted by fleacircus at 7:43 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Lava lamps
posted by onlyconnect at 7:48 AM on May 18, 2013

Mankini-clothed, oiled men. Writhing, writhing for you.
posted by Wordshore at 7:50 AM on May 18, 2013

"no more coke" what does that even mean
posted by fleacircus at 7:58 AM on May 18, 2013

Orange you glad I didn't say 'banana'?
posted by carsonb at 8:01 AM on May 18, 2013

peagood: Better late than never!
posted by peagood at 8:01 AM on May 18, 2013

Quentin Crisp Cereal
posted by Sys Rq at 8:11 AM on May 18, 2013

Really tall platform shoes with fish in them
posted by The Whelk at 8:12 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

So at what point is it obvious that a lipogram, built following adamvascos's asking for Oulipticity, has grown actually Ouliptic, in a statistically significant way, and is not just a product of how orthographic biscuits got torn apart?
posted by kengraham at 8:13 AM on May 18, 2013

That's correct.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:14 AM on May 18, 2013

Utter modness.
posted by Wordshore at 8:19 AM on May 18, 2013

Very high waistlines.
posted by fleacircus at 8:27 AM on May 18, 2013

What's that watermelon doing there?
posted by flabdablet at 8:28 AM on May 18, 2013

We'll also need some marimbas.
posted by fleacircus at 8:28 AM on May 18, 2013

Xtreme decolletage.
posted by adamvasco at 8:31 AM on May 18, 2013

Yves St Laurent bags
posted by third rail at 8:35 AM on May 18, 2013

Zip lines
posted by The Whelk at 8:36 AM on May 18, 2013

Arbitrary Neclace of Placeholding (Increases your placeholding by 17 %)
posted by Dumsnill at 8:41 AM on May 18, 2013

Backup singers. Max 2 per guest.
posted by fleacircus at 8:43 AM on May 18, 2013

confused. but that's ok.
posted by bardophile at 8:44 AM on May 18, 2013

Does anyone remember Deney Terrio from Dance Fever?
posted by Dr. Zira at 8:58 AM on May 18, 2013

Do this: embrace the randomness. If someone posts a duplicate then we have to double every letter. Then someone messes up again and we have three of the same letter, three becomes the new count. Someone skips a letter we post every other letter. Someone goes back we reverse the direction. Kind of like playing UNO.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 8:58 AM on May 18, 2013

Embrace the randomness! Doubling up on letters now. Until we mess it up!
posted by onlyconnect at 9:04 AM on May 18, 2013

Eschatologically interesting experiment,
posted by Dumsnill at 9:08 AM on May 18, 2013

For people just entering the thread, it will be a little confusing.
posted by onlyconnect at 9:12 AM on May 18, 2013

Gosh, I hope so!
posted by Sys Rq at 9:15 AM on May 18, 2013

He messed it up!
posted by Dumsnill at 9:17 AM on May 18, 2013

I think he did it right.
posted by donnagirl at 9:18 AM on May 18, 2013

I did mess it up. Sorry!
posted by Sys Rq at 9:21 AM on May 18, 2013

It's messed up.
posted by box at 9:27 AM on May 18, 2013

Just a tick, are we doing 3 or 4?
posted by arcticseal at 9:30 AM on May 18, 2013

Just wait til someone has to think of a third J word; then we'll be sorry!
posted by onlyconnect at 9:30 AM on May 18, 2013

Kids, this is silly and we'll just end up with 1000 j words. No one wants that.
posted by donnagirl at 9:33 AM on May 18, 2013

Jesus wants that.
posted by box at 9:35 AM on May 18, 2013

I am getting dizzy.
posted by onlyconnect at 9:38 AM on May 18, 2013

He told you what he wants? He never does that.
posted by donnagirl at 9:45 AM on May 18, 2013

Gin was involved.
posted by box at 9:46 AM on May 18, 2013

Gee, he does to me
posted by shothotbot at 9:46 AM on May 18, 2013

How do we do a backwards double?
posted by shothotbot at 9:47 AM on May 18, 2013

I don't think we do it like that.
posted by onlyconnect at 9:48 AM on May 18, 2013

Just carry on forwards, please. Give the other letters their moment in the sun.
posted by donnagirl at 9:50 AM on May 18, 2013

Kind of annoying that just when we really needed the survivalist skills of Richard Proenneke, he disappears into the bathroom with all the coke.
posted by onlyconnect at 9:52 AM on May 18, 2013 [2 favorites]

Like who can blame him for that tho
posted by ook at 9:53 AM on May 18, 2013

Maybe we should cut him some slack. Dude's not used to crowds.
posted by donnagirl at 9:55 AM on May 18, 2013

No parking on the dance floor.
posted by shothotbot at 9:57 AM on May 18, 2013

Only vehicles with junk in their trunk may park here.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:03 AM on May 18, 2013

Parking is a privilege.
posted by donnagirl at 10:18 AM on May 18, 2013

Quite crowded tonight! Want to step outside?
posted by shothotbot at 10:20 AM on May 18, 2013

Reeeeeeeeeeealy don't think that's a good idea. You've had a lot of coke.
posted by donnagirl at 10:27 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

So what's wrong with soda?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:50 AM on May 18, 2013

Tsk, tsk.
posted by Dumsnill at 10:54 AM on May 18, 2013

U can touch this.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:56 AM on May 18, 2013

Vy vould I vant to?
posted by maryr at 10:59 AM on May 18, 2013

Wipe the windows already, Sergei.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:00 AM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Xebu.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:01 AM on May 18, 2013

Zoophelia yuck no.
posted by adamvasco at 11:06 AM on May 18, 2013

Yuck no zoophelia would have been more fitting.
posted by donnagirl at 11:08 AM on May 18, 2013

Xebus prefer Zohamlet.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:10 AM on May 18, 2013

Wipe down the dancefloor, it's so damn sticky.
posted by donnagirl at 11:12 AM on May 18, 2013

Vicious rumour that zebu starts with a zed.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:14 AM on May 18, 2013

Ugh, vicious rumors and sticky dance floors?
posted by RedOrGreen at 11:20 AM on May 18, 2013

Why don't we go out for pancakes? This party is turning disgusting.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:25 AM on May 18, 2013

Tacos sound better. Can we get tacos?
posted by donnagirl at 11:35 AM on May 18, 2013

Sure, I love tacos.
posted by Dumsnill at 11:36 AM on May 18, 2013

Really? I prefer quesadillas.
posted by booksherpa at 11:39 AM on May 18, 2013

"Quesadilla?" Explain.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:42 AM on May 18, 2013

Por favor.
posted by box at 11:45 AM on May 18, 2013

Or, what makes Dilla so sad?
posted by onlyconnect at 11:45 AM on May 18, 2013

Nasty onions. It's just the nasty onions.
posted by donnagirl at 11:46 AM on May 18, 2013

Mmmmmmmm, I'm getting hungry.
posted by onlyconnect at 11:51 AM on May 18, 2013

Let's all watch Eurovision and stuff our faces.
posted by Dumsnill at 11:53 AM on May 18, 2013

Kansas TV doesn't get Eurovision, please liveblog for me.
posted by donnagirl at 12:03 PM on May 18, 2013

A choir is singing while a giant fake bridge hovers over the crowd. Yeah.
posted by Dumsnill at 12:05 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Jesus, wrong thread
posted by Dumsnill at 12:07 PM on May 18, 2013

I have no idea where this giant fake bridge came from while we sing "Stayin' Alive," but it is creeping me out.
posted by onlyconnect at 12:20 PM on May 18, 2013

Hold on, you probably just got the bad acid.
posted by donnagirl at 12:33 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Good Lord there is a man from Romania in black sequins singing falsetto!
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:13 PM on May 18, 2013

Figaro! Figaro Figaro Figarooooooooo!!!!!!
posted by onlyconnect at 1:27 PM on May 18, 2013

Eventually, this woman from Denmark who is singing about teardrops will need to put on some shoes.
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:30 PM on May 18, 2013

Daring Dane debuts de-shoed.
posted by arcticseal at 1:48 PM on May 18, 2013

Come to MetaChat: It's safe and sexy.
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:49 PM on May 18, 2013

Bye Bye until tomorrow.
posted by adamvasco at 1:52 PM on May 18, 2013

And each and ev'ry night,
I'll write you faithfully!
Bye Bye Birdie,
It's awful hard to bear;
Bye Bye Birdie
Think I'll always care,
Guess I'll always care,
Guess I'll always care!
posted by peagood at 2:47 PM on May 18, 2013

Mad men cast and crew sing Bye Bye Birdie
posted by The Whelk at 3:05 PM on May 18, 2013

Cherry Coke for me, please... no, don't spread it on the table, idiot!
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:08 PM on May 18, 2013

Dagnabbit Cezar was robbed!
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:32 PM on May 18, 2013

Europe, I love you (though not quite as much as the USA).
posted by Wordshore at 3:38 PM on May 18, 2013

Fucking hell. Can't believe this is still happening.
posted by Sophie1 at 3:53 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Get used to it; we have 27 more days to run and more participants with OCD than ADHD.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:03 PM on May 18, 2013 [2 favorites]

How about a Mad Lib?

One STINKY day, CORTEX, FOZZIE BEAR, and...
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 4:07 PM on May 18, 2013

INDIANA JONES walked into a COSTCO and told the BIGFOOT at the PITSTOP "we'll each have..."
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:17 PM on May 18, 2013

"JETPACKS, because we need immediate transport to...."
posted by Dr. Zira at 4:27 PM on May 18, 2013

Kazakhstan?
posted by dg at 4:37 PM on May 18, 2013

"Let's BARF," said
posted by Sys Rq at 4:42 PM on May 18, 2013

Mommy.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 4:43 PM on May 18, 2013

Not that I need any encouragement to barf, due to
posted by dg at 4:47 PM on May 18, 2013

OILY
posted by Sys Rq at 4:53 PM on May 18, 2013

POOP.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 5:01 PM on May 18, 2013

questionable, quite questionable
posted by Namlit at 5:15 PM on May 18, 2013

Really can't think of a good 'r' word.

Really can't...
posted by mazola at 5:17 PM on May 18, 2013

"Sorry I even encouraged this" said...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:19 PM on May 18, 2013

THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE as he
posted by Sys Rq at 5:28 PM on May 18, 2013

UNGULATED (wait, that's not a verb)
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:31 PM on May 18, 2013

Neither is birthed.
posted by y2karl at 5:32 PM on May 18, 2013

Verbs are problematic.
posted by Wordshore at 5:39 PM on May 18, 2013

Wainscoting.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:46 PM on May 18, 2013

Xerography does not produce perfect copies.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:48 PM on May 18, 2013

As Richard Proenneke once said: You can't beat that.
posted by y2karl at 5:53 PM on May 18, 2013

Zero hour: "The Name of the Doctor" has just aired on BBCAmerica Eastern/Central Time Zones. Which means everybody but the West Coast of the US has seen it (maybe Australia where it was scheduled for Tomorrow but it's already tomorrow there... TIME SUCKS)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:06 PM on May 18, 2013

And the latest I heard is that River Song returns to the show, but with better hair and a smaller waist.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:15 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Brave" joke.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:15 PM on May 18, 2013

Can someone add RichardProenneke as a tag to this post? I think he has earned it.
posted by onlyconnect at 6:32 PM on May 18, 2013

DickProenneke?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:40 PM on May 18, 2013

Excellent finale, oneswellfoop. It is worth spending the next couple of hours away from the internets to avoid the spoilers, because it made me scream out loud.
posted by Dr. Zira at 6:43 PM on May 18, 2013

God gods, will you freaks ever stop?
posted by vrakatar at 7:32 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Hell no!
posted by Area Man at 7:36 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

I doubt it!
posted by zarq at 7:42 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Just think; it could go on for weeks.
posted by solarion at 7:47 PM on May 18, 2013

Kill me now, then. I can't hold out for much longer..
posted by Lizard at 7:52 PM on May 18, 2013

Let's leave all the killing for later when this thread turns into MetaFilter Alphabet Survivor Hunger Games Thunderdome.
posted by onlyconnect at 8:07 PM on May 18, 2013

MetaFilter Alphabet Survivor Hunger Games Thunderdome, you say?
posted by Sys Rq at 8:10 PM on May 18, 2013

Need a hobby, you do.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 8:14 PM on May 18, 2013

Oh I think I have plenty of hobbies.
posted by donnagirl at 8:21 PM on May 18, 2013

I have lots of hobbies, if by hobbies you mean cats, and if two count as lots
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:23 PM on May 18, 2013

Perhaps it would be fun to teach your cats the alphabet.
posted by donnagirl at 8:35 PM on May 18, 2013

Quite.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:36 PM on May 18, 2013

Plenty of hobbies, you say?
posted by Sophie1 at 8:36 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Rats. Shoulda previewed.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:37 PM on May 18, 2013

Shoulda previewed!
posted by carsonb at 8:39 PM on May 18, 2013

Tsk, tsk!
posted by Sys Rq at 8:39 PM on May 18, 2013

ur in the state of having done it wrong
posted by fleacircus at 8:40 PM on May 18, 2013

i would hate to be that state's treasurer
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:42 PM on May 18, 2013

Very uncomfortable state to be in.
posted by donnagirl at 8:43 PM on May 18, 2013

Will you read the thread sticherbeast!?
posted by Sophie1 at 8:45 PM on May 18, 2013

Xtraneous comments are easily ignored.
posted by donnagirl at 8:47 PM on May 18, 2013

Ichabod Hootchie Koo!
posted by y2karl at 8:50 PM on May 18, 2013

Yes, yes, I know, but my perfectionism demands satisfaction.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:52 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zounds! I get it now.
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:56 PM on May 18, 2013

Alright! Glad to have you!
posted by donnagirl at 8:57 PM on May 18, 2013

BE STILL HUMAN SCUM!
posted by vrakatar at 9:13 PM on May 18, 2013

Crikey, that was loud and abrasive.
posted by donnagirl at 9:36 PM on May 18, 2013

Doctor... Huh?
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:44 PM on May 18, 2013

Dat's what she said.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:44 PM on May 18, 2013

Everyone settle down.
posted by Sophie1 at 9:52 PM on May 18, 2013

Fat's what she said.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:54 PM on May 18, 2013

"Gee, I can't believe you came!"
posted by onlyconnect at 10:10 PM on May 18, 2013

How about we not do that again?
posted by donnagirl at 10:19 PM on May 18, 2013

It makes me so pleased to see this thread still going, even though I couldn't contribute to it at all yesterday. Well done, us.
posted by Athanassiel at 10:23 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Julienne vegetables makes me feel all fancy.
posted by arcticseal at 10:47 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Kee-rist, this is a long thread!
posted by scottymac at 11:13 PM on May 18, 2013

ℓoℓ
posted by mazola at 11:19 PM on May 18, 2013

mom
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:24 PM on May 18, 2013

Now I see many have lives on Saturday nights!
posted by scottymac at 11:25 PM on May 18, 2013

Or not.
posted by en forme de poire at 11:26 PM on May 18, 2013

Paaaaarty hardy!
posted by mazola at 11:27 PM on May 18, 2013

Q_Q (this is a friend's band! blatant plug!)
posted by en forme de poire at 11:30 PM on May 18, 2013

Really interesting how they did so many performances without a change of clothes.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:37 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Swell rocking
posted by scottymac at 11:39 PM on May 18, 2013

The Moose Lodge looks cool.
posted by mazola at 11:43 PM on May 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Uh, it vibrates?
posted by rmannion at 12:27 AM on May 19, 2013

Veni, vidi, I jumped right into an alphabet thread a-fucking-gain
posted by lordaych at 1:24 AM on May 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

Welcome back.
posted by adamvasco at 1:34 AM on May 19, 2013

X marks the spot where I jump in long enough to wave before heading off to a Eurovision party. I'm bringing the spanakopita.
posted by Athanassiel at 1:49 AM on May 19, 2013

You make your own spanakopita or you buy it at the store?
posted by dogwalker at 2:21 AM on May 19, 2013

Zounds! Did you really expect me to answer that using a z? (I've only had it at restaurants.)
posted by Area Man at 2:28 AM on May 19, 2013

All in all, it's pretty simple to make.
posted by donnagirl at 2:34 AM on May 19, 2013

But spanakopita sounds so ... kinky. (Spank-a-pita!)
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:43 AM on May 19, 2013

Can we get a recipe?
posted by Area Man at 4:24 AM on May 19, 2013

1 1/2 cups Urad Dal (split black lentil)
1 1/2 cups rajma (red beans or kidney beans)
1/4 cup channa dal (bengal gram)
1 chopped onion
4 garlic cloves
1/2 tablespoon ginger
1 cup chopped tomatoes or 3/4 cup tomato puree
1 teaspoon red chili powder
1 teaspoon turmeric powder
1 teaspoon dhaniya powder (coriander)
2 green chilies
salt
1 cup butter or 1 cup ghee
fresh cream (4/5 tbsp)
Directions:

1
Soak dal and red beans over night and
2
boil with water ,turmeric powder and salt, until the dal is soft(pressure cook).
3
Chop the onions, Ginger (Adrak), green chilies and tomatoes.Fry all together in butter/ ghee until turn brown.
4
Add chilli powder,dhania powder towards the end.You will get a batter like consistency.
5
Then add the boiled dal and red beans and allow simmering for 5 to 7 minutes.
6
Finally add cream slowly and mix well.
7
Adjust salt and add 1/4 cup water if consistency is too thick.
8
Garnish with fresh coriander leaves.
9
Serve hot with naan.
posted by Dumsnill at 4:26 AM on May 19, 2013

Disaster recipe? Or food?
posted by fleacircus at 4:27 AM on May 19, 2013

(Externally, I say "ress-ih-pee". Internally, I'm always thinkin "reh-SIPE".)
posted by fleacircus at 4:29 AM on May 19, 2013

For spanakopita, get a long strip of candy buttons. Drop a big pinch of Big League Chew at one end then wrap in triangles like you're folding a flag. Feel free to experiment with different ingredients!
posted by fleacircus at 4:35 AM on May 19, 2013

Gonna go see that Cumberbatch movie this morning...
posted by ersatzkat at 4:39 AM on May 19, 2013

Hey! I found a recipe for Snickers Salad!

1 (3.5 oz.) box Vanilla Instant Pudding
1 C. Milk
1 container Cool Whip
8 Apples, diced (I used 2 very large apples and that was PLENTY)
6 Snickers Candy Bars (I used about 10 fun size), cut into chunks
Mix the pudding with the milk. Stir. Fold in Cool Whip. Let set up in refrigerator for at least one hour. Add the apples and Snickers and enjoy!

posted by peagood at 5:19 AM on May 19, 2013

I had no idea you could make a snickers salad, but now I want one.
posted by barnacles at 5:32 AM on May 19, 2013

Just reading that recipe made my teeth want to retract into my gums. Sounds super sweet.
posted by arcticseal at 5:59 AM on May 19, 2013

Khaaaaaan! <- this thread
posted by lordaych at 6:53 AM on May 19, 2013

lordaych, what, jeeeesus <- Khan, answering phone blearily from different timezone entirely
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:23 AM on May 19, 2013 [2 favorites]

Muß es sein? Es muß sein!
posted by Dumsnill at 7:41 AM on May 19, 2013

No, it needn't be.
posted by Area Man at 7:44 AM on May 19, 2013

Oh the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
posted by third rail at 8:01 AM on May 19, 2013

Point the way.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:04 AM on May 19, 2013

Quaint, quoting Seuss.
posted by carsonb at 8:08 AM on May 19, 2013

Right this way, past the striped, tilting mesa thing.
posted by third rail at 8:17 AM on May 19, 2013

Romania didn't win. Oh well.
posted by Wordshore at 8:17 AM on May 19, 2013

Simultaneous posts after a big gap
posted by donnagirl at 8:27 AM on May 19, 2013

That Snickers salad...I've had it. It's like something out of ancient mythology made specifically to lure us into hell.
posted by Dr. Zira at 8:31 AM on May 19, 2013

Um, that was real? I thought it was just a joke. Why are there apples in it, for god's sake?
posted by donnagirl at 8:35 AM on May 19, 2013

Variety.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:42 AM on May 19, 2013

Well, the apples are there to provide some minimal nutritional value, as the thing is pretty much a blood glucose hellscape. I could not eat more than two bites. If you ever want to turn someone off of sugar, this is what to feed them.
posted by Dr. Zira at 8:44 AM on May 19, 2013

X-acto knife salad might be a little worse in the long run.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:54 AM on May 19, 2013

You saw me start with Z too early. Leaving it for posterity: Z-cars was a great TV show in the 60s.
posted by arcticseal at 9:20 AM on May 19, 2013

Z-cars was a great TV show in the 60s? I didn't know that.
posted by donnagirl at 9:24 AM on May 19, 2013

Arctic seal's opinion may differ from yours, of course.
posted by Ahab at 9:30 AM on May 19, 2013

Bloody great theme tune.
posted by arcticseal at 9:36 AM on May 19, 2013

Can't say I've ever heard of it, nor can I tell what it's about from that clip. But I'm not British, either.
posted by donnagirl at 9:47 AM on May 19, 2013

Do you know the way to San Jose?
posted by Wordshore at 10:40 AM on May 19, 2013

Each time I check in on this thread I feel absolutely compelled to contribute. Gamification is a powerful force
posted by ook at 11:24 AM on May 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

Force, Police: UK thereof.
posted by arcticseal at 11:32 AM on May 19, 2013

Gamifried Chicken, Kentucy
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:34 AM on May 19, 2013

Hutch, Settee and
posted by box at 12:25 PM on May 19, 2013

I just got here, what the hell is going on?
posted by xqwzts at 12:51 PM on May 19, 2013

Just wish I knew what a hutch was, or a settee for that matter. They sound like the words people in the UK would use to describe furniture, but I'm not sure. I have seen rabbit hutches, but I've never heard of a rabbitt settee.
posted by Area Man at 1:29 PM on May 19, 2013

Keep going, folks! We need to hit 2000 or all this was for nothing.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 2:14 PM on May 19, 2013

Like two grand is gonna be the hard get? Think big.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:15 PM on May 19, 2013 [2 favorites]

Mittens big?
posted by fleacircus at 2:20 PM on May 19, 2013

Nineteen hundred is fast approaching.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:36 PM on May 19, 2013

OH NO NOT NINTEEN HUNDREDSEZ!
posted by vrakatar at 2:52 PM on May 19, 2013

Penny-farthings will be passé!
posted by Sys Rq at 2:56 PM on May 19, 2013

Really big? Let's not stop at Z. There is a whole Unicode universe to explore!
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 3:03 PM on May 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

QUANTUM ALPHABETICS ^^^
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:05 PM on May 19, 2013 [2 favorites]

Rules-wise I think an R goes here.
posted by fleacircus at 3:12 PM on May 19, 2013

Sweet fancy culottes, that was an awesome Star Trek movie...
posted by ersatzkat at 3:13 PM on May 19, 2013

That would be the older meaning of awesome, which I think was, "omg really bad and dumb", right?
posted by fleacircus at 3:15 PM on May 19, 2013

Utterly crushed by everyone's assessments of the Star Trek movie except yours, ersatzkat. I really want it to be awesome.
posted by donnagirl at 3:40 PM on May 19, 2013

Vulcanized rubber ear-tips.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:04 PM on May 19, 2013

What, people didn't like it? I've got tickets for 8:30.
posted by Area Man at 4:09 PM on May 19, 2013

Xenophobes are the ones who don't like it, I suspect.
posted by shothotbot at 4:55 PM on May 19, 2013

Yes, I'm staying with my parents and just finished watching the Lawrence Welk show, with my mom snoozing in her lazy boy chair after a fine pork loin and mashed potato dinner. But it wasn't a particularly good episode. Not like the one with Bad, Bad Leroy Brown.
posted by peagood at 4:56 PM on May 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zachary Quinto will save the film for me, I'm sure.
posted by donnagirl at 4:59 PM on May 19, 2013

Awesome. Which was what the Star Trek movie was. Just got back from the cinema.
posted by arcticseal at 5:32 PM on May 19, 2013

Bravely went, they did.
posted by shothotbot at 6:09 PM on May 19, 2013

Chekov should stay in the bridge. (not a spoiler).
posted by arcticseal at 6:13 PM on May 19, 2013

Don't tell me anything more!
posted by donnagirl at 6:14 PM on May 19, 2013

Erm, actually, I think they went boldly.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:23 PM on May 19, 2013

For non-Star Trek fans like myself, the new movie is not as enjoyable as the previous one.
posted by dogwalker at 6:24 PM on May 19, 2013

Go Go Gadget... Plot device!
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:46 PM on May 19, 2013

How many people hare have recovered from the Doctor Who ~~Series~~Season Finale yet? Me neither.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:48 PM on May 19, 2013

It was the famous detective what did it.
posted by arcticseal at 6:49 PM on May 19, 2013

JOHN HURT IS WHAAAAAAT?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:52 PM on May 19, 2013

KHAAAAAN
posted by Sticherbeast at 7:03 PM on May 19, 2013

Like, as IF.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:12 PM on May 19, 2013

Mind melding is a thing Vulcans are known for.
posted by arcticseal at 7:26 PM on May 19, 2013

Not emoting is another.
posted by donnagirl at 7:39 PM on May 19, 2013

Oh, the Dr Who finale made so little sense. Although it's nice to see John Hurt's craggy visage.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:26 PM on May 19, 2013

Please don't forget the death gripes. The deadly Vulcan death gripes.
posted by XMLicious at 8:27 PM on May 19, 2013

Quaking with crazy glee after watching that Leroy Brown version. Thank you peagood.
posted by third rail at 8:48 PM on May 19, 2013

Romulans used to be Vulcans. It's a fact!
posted by Sys Rq at 8:51 PM on May 19, 2013

Star trekkin'?
posted by klangklangston at 9:11 PM on May 19, 2013

Two-hundred more Tribbles on your desk by Monday Morning? YES WE CAN.
posted by Dr. Zira at 9:18 PM on May 19, 2013

Unfortunate that no one thought to make slippers out of those things. You just gotta hollow 'em out!
posted by Sys Rq at 9:21 PM on May 19, 2013

Very tricky how it turned out Benedict Cumberbatch's character really was Sherlock Holmes.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:36 PM on May 19, 2013

When are we going to see Sherlock Holmes wielding a gattling gun one-handed and mowing down Moriarty's shouty minions?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:37 PM on May 19, 2013

X-Men; it's in the next X-Men movie
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:44 PM on May 19, 2013

YOU STOLE MY X!
posted by Ahab at 9:44 PM on May 19, 2013

ZZ Top had a song about that, I think.
posted by dg at 9:51 PM on May 19, 2013

Also:
posted by dg at 10:27 PM on May 19, 2013

BB King
posted by dg at 10:37 PM on May 19, 2013

C+C Music Factory
posted by dg at 10:37 PM on May 19, 2013

Debbie Harry
posted by dg at 10:38 PM on May 19, 2013

Elliot Smith too, but it was super depressing.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:42 PM on May 19, 2013

Ferguson, Craig
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:57 PM on May 19, 2013

Groovie Ghoulies.
posted by mazola at 11:54 PM on May 19, 2013

Herbie Hancock.
posted by mazola at 11:54 PM on May 19, 2013

Incubus
posted by mazola at 12:05 AM on May 20, 2013

Joan Jett.
posted by mazola at 12:05 AM on May 20, 2013

Kenn Kweder
posted by mazola at 12:06 AM on May 20, 2013

Lyle Lovett
posted by mazola at 12:06 AM on May 20, 2013

Manfred Mann
posted by mazola at 12:06 AM on May 20, 2013

Nervous Norvus
posted by mazola at 12:06 AM on May 20, 2013

Ozzy Osbourne
posted by mazola at 12:06 AM on May 20, 2013

Phantom Planet
posted by mazola at 12:07 AM on May 20, 2013

Queen
posted by mazola at 12:07 AM on May 20, 2013

Robbie Robertson
posted by mazola at 12:07 AM on May 20, 2013

Sister Sledge
posted by mazola at 12:07 AM on May 20, 2013

Tiny Tim
posted by mazola at 12:08 AM on May 20, 2013

Union Underground
posted by mazola at 12:08 AM on May 20, 2013

Viva Voce
posted by mazola at 12:08 AM on May 20, 2013

Wet Willie
posted by mazola at 12:08 AM on May 20, 2013

XTC
posted by mazola at 12:08 AM on May 20, 2013

Yeah Yeah Yeahs
posted by mazola at 12:08 AM on May 20, 2013

Zippy Bums, The
posted by mazola at 12:09 AM on May 20, 2013

Adam Ant
posted by mazola at 12:09 AM on May 20, 2013

Beau Brummels
posted by mazola at 12:09 AM on May 20, 2013

Chubby Checker
posted by mazola at 12:09 AM on May 20, 2013

Dave Dudley
posted by mazola at 12:09 AM on May 20, 2013

Eliane Elias
posted by mazola at 12:10 AM on May 20, 2013

Fifty Four Forty
posted by mazola at 12:10 AM on May 20, 2013

Gloria Gaynor
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:11 AM on May 20, 2013

Haysi Fantayzee
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:12 AM on May 20, 2013

Idle Eyes
posted by mazola at 12:31 AM on May 20, 2013

Jerry Jerry and the Sons of Rhythm Orchestra
posted by mazola at 12:31 AM on May 20, 2013

Kris Kross
posted by Snarl Furillo at 12:48 AM on May 20, 2013

Los Lobos
posted by mazola at 12:49 AM on May 20, 2013

Martha and the Muffins
posted by mazola at 12:49 AM on May 20, 2013

No Means No
posted by mazola at 12:50 AM on May 20, 2013

One to One
posted by mazola at 12:50 AM on May 20, 2013

Porno for Pyros
posted by mazola at 12:54 AM on May 20, 2013

Queensrÿche
posted by mazola at 12:54 AM on May 20, 2013

Rheostatics
posted by mazola at 12:55 AM on May 20, 2013

Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet
posted by mazola at 12:55 AM on May 20, 2013

Tears for Fears
posted by Athanassiel at 1:04 AM on May 20, 2013

U2
posted by iamkimiam at 1:26 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Violent Femmes
posted by Westringia F. at 1:32 AM on May 20, 2013

Weakerthans, the.
posted by barnacles at 1:54 AM on May 20, 2013

XXYYXX
posted by iamkimiam at 2:05 AM on May 20, 2013

Yes
posted by Athanassiel at 2:05 AM on May 20, 2013

Zaz
posted by iamkimiam at 2:06 AM on May 20, 2013

Asia
posted by fleacircus at 2:21 AM on May 20, 2013

Beirut
posted by iamkimiam at 2:43 AM on May 20, 2013

Chennai
posted by adamvasco at 2:48 AM on May 20, 2013

Danzig
posted by fleacircus at 2:51 AM on May 20, 2013

Esther Rantzen
posted by greenish at 3:12 AM on May 20, 2013

Fears, Tears For.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:14 AM on May 20, 2013

Gogi Grant (not a mythical creature)
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:44 AM on May 20, 2013

Go-Gos!
posted by shothotbot at 3:44 AM on May 20, 2013

Hawkwind
posted by zamboni at 4:09 AM on May 20, 2013

In This Moment are fun to listen to while grinding spreadsheets
posted by Sticherbeast at 4:24 AM on May 20, 2013

James
posted by fleacircus at 4:34 AM on May 20, 2013

Kashmir have some great melodies but are sometimes depressing.
posted by Athanassiel at 4:43 AM on May 20, 2013

Let's Wrestle are pretty great.
posted by barnacles at 4:55 AM on May 20, 2013

Magnetic Fields (the) are pretty crazy and awesome.
posted by Athanassiel at 5:00 AM on May 20, 2013

Neti Pots, The is probably not the name of a band.
posted by shothotbot at 5:14 AM on May 20, 2013

Orchestral Manouevres in the Dirty Bastard
posted by box at 5:22 AM on May 20, 2013

Pink Floyd, OBVIOUSLY
posted by greenish at 5:28 AM on May 20, 2013

Quick! Someone work out how to line up the 2,000th post with T
posted by shothotbot at 5:36 AM on May 20, 2013

Random scribbling scratching noises as the end of the LP goes round and round endlessly until the power dies
posted by ook at 5:40 AM on May 20, 2013

Someone just dated himself.
posted by shothotbot at 5:42 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Then he probably got lucky.
posted by fleacircus at 5:52 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Unusually, no posts so far today on the Blue.
posted by Wordshore at 6:03 AM on May 20, 2013

Victoria Day here in Canada. Everyone is napping.
posted by arcticseal at 6:36 AM on May 20, 2013

Whatevs, STID haters, I'mma stan Benedict all day long.
posted by ersatzkat at 6:44 AM on May 20, 2013

"X."

There, we did that and can now move on
posted by ook at 7:25 AM on May 20, 2013

You people are crazy.
posted by Johann Georg Faust at 7:29 AM on May 20, 2013

Zany, maybe, but not crazy.
posted by donnagirl at 7:29 AM on May 20, 2013

Are we still talking about bands?
posted by barnacles at 7:32 AM on May 20, 2013

Beach Boys are an alliterative band.
posted by shothotbot at 7:36 AM on May 20, 2013

Crazy is as crazy doeWOOFLAGHABITYABITYABITYABITYFLOOMWHACKER
posted by ook at 7:41 AM on May 20, 2013

DAFT PUNK'S NEW ALBUM REALLY IS PRETTY GOOD FYI
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:49 AM on May 20, 2013

Egads, the madness continues!
posted by snorkmaiden at 7:51 AM on May 20, 2013

Foo Fighters.
posted by third rail at 7:53 AM on May 20, 2013

Goo Goo Dolls
posted by third rail at 7:54 AM on May 20, 2013

Hoo Tieandtheblowfish
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:55 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Hot Hot Heat
posted by iamkimiam at 7:55 AM on May 20, 2013

Indigo Girls
posted by ersatzkat at 7:59 AM on May 20, 2013

Join us for another transmission of MUSIC FROM THE HEARTS OF SPACE. Coming up, three hours of somnolent synthesizer drones, pan flutes, frame drums and whale farts. Date myself? I'll show you how I date myself. ::checks wikipedia:: oh holy shit that show is still on the air? That's a lot of whale farts
posted by ook at 8:00 AM on May 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Janis Joplin
posted by snorkmaiden at 8:01 AM on May 20, 2013

Knopfler, Mark.
posted by xqwzts at 8:08 AM on May 20, 2013

Liam Gallagher (so sorry)
posted by arcticseal at 8:14 AM on May 20, 2013

Meh, Oasis was overhyped.
posted by maryr at 8:17 AM on May 20, 2013

Marky Mark
posted by Sys Rq at 8:17 AM on May 20, 2013

Nigel Tufnel
posted by fleacircus at 8:26 AM on May 20, 2013

Odetta
posted by Sys Rq at 8:43 AM on May 20, 2013

Pig Destroyer
posted by vanar sena at 8:48 AM on May 20, 2013

Queen Latifah
posted by donnagirl at 8:51 AM on May 20, 2013

Roxette
posted by zarq at 8:54 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Such a good band for the 2000th comment.
posted by donnagirl at 8:55 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Tears for Fears
posted by donnagirl at 8:56 AM on May 20, 2013

Urge Overkill
posted by Sys Rq at 8:57 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yaz (Yazoo, for purists.)
posted by zarq at 9:03 AM on May 20, 2013

Zamfir
posted by fleacircus at 9:06 AM on May 20, 2013

Adam Ant
posted by shothotbot at 9:16 AM on May 20, 2013

Bananarama
posted by Sys Rq at 9:17 AM on May 20, 2013

Culture Club
posted by bardophile at 9:17 AM on May 20, 2013

D'Arby, Terence Trent
posted by fleacircus at 9:26 AM on May 20, 2013

Eskimos! Corky and the Juice Pigs
posted by zarq at 9:33 AM on May 20, 2013

Earl Jamp
posted by Sys Rq at 9:33 AM on May 20, 2013

Fred Mannman
posted by Sys Rq at 9:36 AM on May 20, 2013

Funkmaster Freddie and the Prinzette Juniors
posted by ook at 9:37 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Great Big Sea
posted by zarq at 9:42 AM on May 20, 2013

Hamsterfürher
posted by fleacircus at 9:44 AM on May 20, 2013

Iggy Marleyz
posted by Sys Rq at 9:46 AM on May 20, 2013

Jan Stevenssuf
posted by Sys Rq at 9:49 AM on May 20, 2013

Jar Jarfunkel
posted by fleacircus at 9:49 AM on May 20, 2013

Jagjit Singh
posted by vanar sena at 9:49 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Kris Kristofferknopfler
posted by fleacircus at 9:50 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Les Minguschar
posted by Sys Rq at 9:52 AM on May 20, 2013

Mannheim Steamrollingstones
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:53 AM on May 20, 2013

Neil Youngfreshfellows
posted by fleacircus at 9:54 AM on May 20, 2013

Oasisters of Mercy
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:56 AM on May 20, 2013

Peter, Paul, and Mary J. Blige
posted by Sys Rq at 9:58 AM on May 20, 2013

Portishelmet
posted by fleacircus at 9:58 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Quincy Jonas Brothers
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:59 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Radiolips
posted by rabbitrabbit at 10:00 AM on May 20, 2013

Seven Mary Three Dog Night
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:00 AM on May 20, 2013

The the the the
posted by ook at 10:00 AM on May 20, 2013

Ugly Kid Rock
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:00 AM on May 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Violent Dommes
posted by ook at 10:01 AM on May 20, 2013

Wham!erican Analog Set
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:01 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Xys Midnight Runners
posted by Sys Rq at 10:02 AM on May 20, 2013

Xanadu inline skates and hairspray bundle
posted by ook at 10:02 AM on May 20, 2013

Yesllo
posted by fleacircus at 10:04 AM on May 20, 2013

Yes Said Fred
posted by Sys Rq at 10:04 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Z.Z. Top Gun Soundtrack
posted by Sys Rq at 10:05 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Alison Chains, and other people with unfortunate names that sound like bands?
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:05 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ben Vogue, for example.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:05 AM on May 20, 2013

Alien Sexual Response
posted by shothotbot at 10:05 AM on May 20, 2013

Camper Van Halen
posted by fleacircus at 10:06 AM on May 20, 2013

Depeche Modell?
posted by shothotbot at 10:07 AM on May 20, 2013

Dan Zig, to follow cortex.
posted by donnagirl at 10:07 AM on May 20, 2013

Everybody Wang Chung Some Other Night; My Wang Is All Out Of Chung
posted by ook at 10:07 AM on May 20, 2013

Frankie Gusto Holly-Wu
posted by fleacircus at 10:09 AM on May 20, 2013

Gotye Nose!
posted by ook at 10:12 AM on May 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Hands up if you're waiting for Nick Elbach
posted by fleacircus at 10:16 AM on May 20, 2013

I can't type with my hands up
posted by ook at 10:18 AM on May 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Justin Beeble
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:25 AM on May 20, 2013

Krustin Heebee Jeebee
posted by shothotbot at 10:27 AM on May 20, 2013

LemonRadioheads
posted by arcticseal at 10:30 AM on May 20, 2013

Mutt Hohl-Zurfer
posted by fleacircus at 10:34 AM on May 20, 2013

Nan Season Otter Uh
posted by Sys Rq at 10:36 AM on May 20, 2013

Oh how I wish Dinah Sojourner Truth had come earlier.
posted by fleacircus at 10:42 AM on May 20, 2013

Prints
posted by Sys Rq at 10:45 AM on May 20, 2013

Quiet Riot Grrrrl
posted by third rail at 10:49 AM on May 20, 2013

Rammsteionel Richie
posted by fleacircus at 10:53 AM on May 20, 2013

Radiootherbodyparts
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:53 AM on May 20, 2013

Scissor Chapin Sisters
posted by shothotbot at 10:54 AM on May 20, 2013

Television of Burma
posted by Sys Rq at 10:56 AM on May 20, 2013

U2Pac
posted by donnagirl at 10:59 AM on May 20, 2013

Veruca Salt n pepa
posted by third rail at 11:06 AM on May 20, 2013

Wallflo Rida
posted by Sys Rq at 11:10 AM on May 20, 2013

XTLC
posted by fleacircus at 11:19 AM on May 20, 2013

Xanthippe bought the waffle rideau, I heard. (Ok folks I helped you. Over to you now)
posted by Namlit at 11:19 AM on May 20, 2013

You are doing acronyms in CAPS. That's cheatingue
posted by Namlit at 11:20 AM on May 20, 2013

zuh?
posted by fleacircus at 11:22 AM on May 20, 2013

A Room with a View to a Kill
posted by shothotbot at 11:24 AM on May 20, 2013

Battleship Down
posted by fleacircus at 11:27 AM on May 20, 2013

Boyz n the Hood: Men in Tights
posted by Sys Rq at 11:27 AM on May 20, 2013

City of Lost Children of the Corn
posted by dogwalker at 11:28 AM on May 20, 2013

C*R*A*S*H
posted by fleacircus at 11:29 AM on May 20, 2013

Donnie Dark Knight
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:29 AM on May 20, 2013

Elephant Man on the Moon
posted by Sys Rq at 11:30 AM on May 20, 2013

End of Days of Heaven
posted by fleacircus at 11:31 AM on May 20, 2013

Ferris Bueller's Face/Off
posted by fleacircus at 11:31 AM on May 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Godfather of the Bride
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:31 AM on May 20, 2013

Homeward Bound for Glory
posted by Sys Rq at 11:32 AM on May 20, 2013

In the Garden of Good and Evil Dead 2
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:33 AM on May 20, 2013

Journey to the Center of Another Earth
posted by fleacircus at 11:34 AM on May 20, 2013

Kangaroo Jack the Giant Slayer
posted by Sys Rq at 11:35 AM on May 20, 2013

Lolita, Pray, Love
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:35 AM on May 20, 2013

Nellraiser damnit
posted by fleacircus at 11:35 AM on May 20, 2013

No Country For Grumpy Old Men
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:35 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Man on the Moonraker ^^^
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:36 AM on May 20, 2013

O Brother From Another Planet
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:36 AM on May 20, 2013

Princess Bride of Frankenstein
posted by Sys Rq at 11:38 AM on May 20, 2013

Quantum of Solaris
posted by Sys Rq at 11:39 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Run, Lolita, Run
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:39 AM on May 20, 2013

The Sound and the Fast and the Furious
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:39 AM on May 20, 2013

(The T in a title doesn't count, right? Right.)
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:40 AM on May 20, 2013

Uncle Buck To the Future
posted by fleacircus at 11:42 AM on May 20, 2013

Vertighost Rider
posted by fleacircus at 11:42 AM on May 20, 2013

Waking Life of Pi
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:42 AM on May 20, 2013

xXx-Men
posted by Sys Rq at 11:43 AM on May 20, 2013

X-Madea
posted by fleacircus at 11:44 AM on May 20, 2013

You've Got Mailman Always Rings Twice
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:45 AM on May 20, 2013

Zero Dark Thirty-Nine Steps
posted by Sys Rq at 11:45 AM on May 20, 2013

A, as in bread or aesthetic.

silent letter alphabet game (Young Guns of Navarone)
posted by infinite intimation at 11:46 AM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

B, as in subtle choice, ii.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:46 AM on May 20, 2013

B as in Numb and Dumb
posted by Sys Rq at 11:47 AM on May 20, 2013

C as in Science! (the first one)
posted by Sys Rq at 11:47 AM on May 20, 2013

D as in ladder (the second one) (Krull Bounce)
posted by fleacircus at 11:51 AM on May 20, 2013

Eidetic ffolkes ought to go straight for obvious noble glory.
posted by infinite intimation at 11:51 AM on May 20, 2013

Django
posted by vanar sena at 11:51 AM on May 20, 2013

Borne on the wings of a silent e
posted by rabbitrabbit at 12:00 PM on May 20, 2013

F as in Halfpenny (Briiiiiittttttttttttttttssssss)
posted by infinite intimation at 12:00 PM on May 20, 2013

G as in ghoti
posted by ook at 12:01 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

H as in herbs (Americaaaaaaaaaaaaaaans!)
posted by maryr at 12:01 PM on May 20, 2013

I as in team
posted by ook at 12:03 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

In 1968 an American linguist, answering the question "How do you pronounce TESOL?" (the acronym of the Association of Teachers of English to Speakers of Other Languages) answered: "T as in castle, E as in give, S as in island, O as in people, and L as in calm."
posted by infinite intimation at 12:03 PM on May 20, 2013

Just like the L in calm, then. #accents
posted by fleacircus at 12:06 PM on May 20, 2013

K as in Knifin' Around
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:07 PM on May 20, 2013

L as in llama which for years I pronounced "yama" until I realized that the guy who taught me that word was speaking Spanish
posted by ook at 12:08 PM on May 20, 2013

Mnemonic, Johnny
posted by Sys Rq at 12:11 PM on May 20, 2013

Oedipus, you motherfucker.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:13 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Pneumatic, Johnny.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:16 PM on May 20, 2013

Psycho.
posted by maryr at 12:17 PM on May 20, 2013

Q as in Alexis de Tocqueville
posted by dogwalker at 12:18 PM on May 20, 2013

Q as in Turduckqen
posted by third rail at 12:18 PM on May 20, 2013

R as in arse.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:19 PM on May 20, 2013

S as in silent.
posted by maryr at 12:21 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

T as in coffee.
posted by ook at 12:21 PM on May 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

T as in tneumonia
posted by third rail at 12:21 PM on May 20, 2013

This is the place I buy ze porn?
posted by Ahab at 12:22 PM on May 20, 2013

U as in fck. (Offer applies only to Boing Boing.)
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:23 PM on May 20, 2013

U need the shop next door
posted by arcticseal at 12:23 PM on May 20, 2013

V as in wiper.
posted by maryr at 12:24 PM on May 20, 2013

W as in viper
posted by third rail at 12:24 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

X as in xnemonic.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:24 PM on May 20, 2013

Y as in why not?
posted by maryr at 12:25 PM on May 20, 2013

Ze porn: hot, sweaty sports racer on duckie action, and you're all inside the sandwich
posted by ook at 12:25 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

X as in every french word with an x in it i mean why do they even have it
posted by Sys Rq at 12:25 PM on May 20, 2013

Apples to Literal Apples, and other food-related board games.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:26 PM on May 20, 2013

Battleship That You Can Eat
posted by Sys Rq at 12:28 PM on May 20, 2013

Carcassonions
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:29 PM on May 20, 2013

Diplumacy, for that matter.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:30 PM on May 20, 2013

Deli Mystery Meat Date
posted by The Whelk at 12:30 PM on May 20, 2013

Edible Battleship
posted by Sys Rq at 12:31 PM on May 20, 2013

Fonclue
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:32 PM on May 20, 2013

Gin Rummy
posted by zarq at 12:33 PM on May 20, 2013

Hearts of romaine
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:34 PM on May 20, 2013

Imperial chicken!
posted by iamkimiam at 12:44 PM on May 20, 2013

Jengarlic
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:45 PM on May 20, 2013

Kingpapadoms
posted by iamkimiam at 12:49 PM on May 20, 2013

Latitude/Longitude-Based Naval Battle Simulator Which Is Also Food
posted by Sys Rq at 12:52 PM on May 20, 2013

Monsters and maizes
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:53 PM on May 20, 2013

Nomopoly
posted by Sys Rq at 12:57 PM on May 20, 2013

Operationions
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:58 PM on May 20, 2013

Parcheesy
posted by iamkimiam at 12:58 PM on May 20, 2013

Quinoa: The Gathering
posted by Sys Rq at 1:00 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Riskuits and gravy
posted by Sys Rq at 1:07 PM on May 20, 2013

Snacks & Ladders
posted by Sys Rq at 1:09 PM on May 20, 2013

Triomino's Pizza
posted by Sys Rq at 1:10 PM on May 20, 2013

UNI
posted by iamkimiam at 1:12 PM on May 20, 2013

Vegemighty
posted by Sys Rq at 1:16 PM on May 20, 2013

Warhamandcheesesandwich
posted by iamkimiam at 1:20 PM on May 20, 2013

X-Com: The search for more dinner.
posted by The Whelk at 1:21 PM on May 20, 2013

You Basically Put The Pieces From Battleship In Your Mouth And Swallow Them
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:22 PM on May 20, 2013 [4 favorites]

ZÈRTZ with Certs?
posted by en forme de poire at 1:24 PM on May 20, 2013

Alphabetgame Soup
posted by third rail at 1:27 PM on May 20, 2013

B-troot!
posted by iamkimiam at 1:29 PM on May 20, 2013

Carcassontario, and other board games which are also regions of Canada

somebody else choose a topic for all our sakes please
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:37 PM on May 20, 2013

Drinking games. Or just drinking, really.
posted by ook at 1:44 PM on May 20, 2013

D as in Dvorak, Third World Sonata no 10
posted by Namlit at 1:44 PM on May 20, 2013

Elgar, Stigma Ouverture
posted by Namlit at 1:46 PM on May 20, 2013

Everclear!
posted by zarq at 1:46 PM on May 20, 2013

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
posted by scottymac at 1:47 PM on May 20, 2013

Franck Variations ridiculeuses
posted by Namlit at 1:47 PM on May 20, 2013

Gewurztraminer of the Nibelung
posted by ook at 1:47 PM on May 20, 2013

Goldberg: Bach variations
posted by Namlit at 1:47 PM on May 20, 2013

Hans Liszt: Sonata in slash minor
posted by Namlit at 1:48 PM on May 20, 2013

Hard Cider, Hard Men: A History Of The Apple Polishers Of The Wild West
posted by ook at 1:48 PM on May 20, 2013

Intermezzo in Green
posted by Namlit at 1:50 PM on May 20, 2013

Jott Scoplin: the Nerdertainer
posted by Namlit at 1:51 PM on May 20, 2013

Kant: criticism of the left-hand trill
posted by Namlit at 1:54 PM on May 20, 2013

Liebfraumilch Of The Nibelung
posted by ook at 1:55 PM on May 20, 2013

lonely I feel
posted by Namlit at 1:55 PM on May 20, 2013

Morksgurkski Statues of a Demolition
posted by Namlit at 1:55 PM on May 20, 2013

Nolfgand Namadeus Nozart Eine grosse Wochenendsfanfare
posted by Namlit at 1:56 PM on May 20, 2013

Nibelungs of the Cirrhosis
posted by ook at 1:56 PM on May 20, 2013

Obit of the Noob elingen
posted by Namlit at 1:57 PM on May 20, 2013

Perhaps a non sequitur, but who knows these things
posted by Namlit at 1:58 PM on May 20, 2013

Quantz, Johan Xemopuk Joachim: Instruction to drive the Harley Davidson
posted by Namlit at 1:59 PM on May 20, 2013

Right, that may not be clear. Google Quantz, then.
posted by Namlit at 1:59 PM on May 20, 2013

Siegfried and the last Dram
posted by Namlit at 2:00 PM on May 20, 2013

Topped by the Rhine Daughters who were never sober, judged by their lyrics...
posted by Namlit at 2:01 PM on May 20, 2013

Uh. Rhine Maidens. Maidens! ever drunker.
posted by Namlit at 2:02 PM on May 20, 2013

Verily, after hardship, comes ease.
posted by greenish at 2:10 PM on May 20, 2013

what
posted by Namlit at 2:16 PM on May 20, 2013

XYLOPHONE SOLO
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:17 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

YEAH BABY PHONE THOSE XYLOS
posted by ook at 2:18 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zamboni!
posted by zamboni at 2:20 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

As we all know, successful comedy is all about timing
posted by ook at 2:22 PM on May 20, 2013

Bet you we can't make this game all about TV crossovers.
posted by The Whelk at 2:23 PM on May 20, 2013

Can you believe it, but someone upthread said that I should chuck that xylophone!
posted by Namlit at 2:24 PM on May 20, 2013

Dandelions abound (and I'm not kidding. Come go loom at my yard)
posted by Namlit at 2:25 PM on May 20, 2013

Equally we have slugs
posted by Namlit at 2:26 PM on May 20, 2013

Find the catcher attachment for your mower -it's great for dandelions.
posted by zamboni at 2:26 PM on May 20, 2013

Got it. Not for the slugs though. We drown them in beer
posted by Namlit at 2:27 PM on May 20, 2013

Have you ever seen a fermented slug?
posted by Namlit at 2:28 PM on May 20, 2013

If you think normal slugs are icky, think twice
posted by Namlit at 2:28 PM on May 20, 2013

Jeffersons/All in the Family
posted by Sys Rq at 2:29 PM on May 20, 2013

Kryptic
posted by Namlit at 2:30 PM on May 20, 2013

Law & Order/Law & Order SVU
posted by zamboni at 2:34 PM on May 20, 2013

Millenium/X-Files
posted by zamboni at 2:35 PM on May 20, 2013

Mowing just spreads out the dandelion seeds; I'm seriously considering going over the lawn with the shop-vac tomorrow to suck up those evil puffballs before they can spread further.
posted by ook at 2:35 PM on May 20, 2013

Nother method is to use a mower that sorta vacuums up the clippings. I collect those and thrown them into the abyss behind my yard. New dandelions will pop up every day though. And slugs.
posted by Namlit at 2:36 PM on May 20, 2013

On a related note, this turns into an ask about garden pests. I like that. Nibelungen and wine, and now this.
posted by Namlit at 2:37 PM on May 20, 2013

Petticoat Junction/Beverly Hillbillies. I just got a new Fiskars dandelion puller that's doing pretty well.
posted by zamboni at 2:39 PM on May 20, 2013

Queens, The King of/Everybody Loves Raymond
posted by zamboni at 2:40 PM on May 20, 2013

Recess/Lilo & Stitch
posted by zamboni at 2:43 PM on May 20, 2013

St. Elsewhere/Everything in Existence
posted by zamboni at 2:43 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Three's Company/The Ropers
posted by donnagirl at 2:44 PM on May 20, 2013

Unlikely crossover for "S": Saved by the Bell and Sons of Anarchy = instant ratings bonanza.
posted by jeremias at 2:45 PM on May 20, 2013

Vampire Slayer, Buffy the/Angel
posted by donnagirl at 2:47 PM on May 20, 2013

Who, Doctor and Torchwood.
posted by arcticseal at 2:50 PM on May 20, 2013

X-Files/later shitty X-Files
posted by donnagirl at 2:59 PM on May 20, 2013

You were suppose to say "TIMING!", donnagirl.
posted by maryr at 3:06 PM on May 20, 2013

Y.P.D. Blue, N./Hill Street Blues
posted by Sys Rq at 3:06 PM on May 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Zar, C, Nicholas and Lenin.
posted by arcticseal at 3:08 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Alphabet monsters, go!
posted by donnagirl at 3:11 PM on May 20, 2013

B-la Lugosi?
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:16 PM on May 20, 2013

Cookie.
posted by maryr at 3:17 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Dot Com?
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:18 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Eater of Cookies And/Or Souls
posted by ook at 3:22 PM on May 20, 2013

Fred Savage
posted by box at 3:28 PM on May 20, 2013

Ghoul.
posted by arcticseal at 3:29 PM on May 20, 2013

Howie Mandel in that movie with Fred Savage
posted by Sys Rq at 3:30 PM on May 20, 2013

Iron golem.
posted by jeremias at 3:37 PM on May 20, 2013

Judge Judy and executioner.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:38 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

King Hippo
posted by box at 3:40 PM on May 20, 2013

Loch Ness
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:45 PM on May 20, 2013

M for murder. I don't have to dial it anymore 'cos I got it on speed dial.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:46 PM on May 20, 2013

Mothra of the Bride
posted by Sys Rq at 3:46 PM on May 20, 2013

North by Northeast. Why didn't Hitchcock do that sequel?
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:48 PM on May 20, 2013

Orko.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:49 PM on May 20, 2013

Psycho had a sequel. Psycho II, Mommy Comes Back from the Dead.

Also the plot of Psycho I, if I remember correctly.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:50 PM on May 20, 2013

Q*bert.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:53 PM on May 20, 2013

Rear Widow.

It was about a woman whose husband dies, and she develops an appetite for anal sex.

One of Hitchcock's best, though maybe it was a porn film. I'm not sure.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:54 PM on May 20, 2013

Spaghetti monster, flying.
posted by rmless at 3:56 PM on May 20, 2013

The Thing.
posted by arcticseal at 3:56 PM on May 20, 2013

Unless I'm mistaken, The Thing had more than one thing in it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:57 PM on May 20, 2013

VAMPIRES
posted by snorkmaiden at 4:00 PM on May 20, 2013

Watch out for the Michaelceratops!
posted by Sys Rq at 4:00 PM on May 20, 2013

X marks the Michaelceratops lair!
posted by Sticherbeast at 4:07 PM on May 20, 2013

Yo, look out, son, word.
posted by box at 4:20 PM on May 20, 2013

Zoldfinger
posted by Namlit at 4:21 PM on May 20, 2013

Apple Cinnamon Cheerios.
posted by zamboni at 4:32 PM on May 20, 2013

Bran Flakes.
posted by zamboni at 4:32 PM on May 20, 2013

Birds, The is a 1963 suspense/horror film directed by Alfred Hitchcock, loosely based on the 1952 story "The Birds" by Daphne du Maurier. It depicts Bodega Bay, California, which is, suddenly and for unexplained reasons, the subject of a series of widespread and violent bird attacks over the course of a few days.

Numerous birds were cast as characters in the movie, including some well known TV birds. Woody Woodpecker did a cameo. The Maltese Falcon, who didn't even appear in his eponymous film, has a role in this one. They say Big Bird got his start in this movie (look carefully at the little bird on Tipy Hedren's shoulder, as she is mauled.) Robin Williams also appears, though not technically a robin, but he was doing almost any movie at that point in his career. A pelican appears briefly. The crow was played by the son of Bruce Lee. I think Bird Pitt was also in it. Black Hawk was down with it. Chickens, not technically birds but rather dinner, also had important last-minute roles in the movie, coming out of the wings. Cheech and Chong were on hand to smoke a jay. The film ends with a tribute to the glorious bald eagle, who is the majestic symbol of all things good and true about America, despite his baldness.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:33 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Cock! Hitch Cock
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:33 PM on May 20, 2013

Cheerio!
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:34 PM on May 20, 2013

Delicious cinnamon toast crunch
posted by rmless at 4:36 PM on May 20, 2013

Don't think Will Smith got naked in that one. Donkey Kong Crunch!
posted by zamboni at 4:36 PM on May 20, 2013

Dessert for breakfast.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:36 PM on May 20, 2013

Eggs and toast. In that order.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:37 PM on May 20, 2013

For lunch, we're having strudel.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:37 PM on May 20, 2013

grapenuts
posted by rmless at 4:38 PM on May 20, 2013

Honey nut nuts.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:39 PM on May 20, 2013

I eat breakfast but I don't oat breakfast.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:41 PM on May 20, 2013

Jello for breakfast!
posted by snorkmaiden at 4:42 PM on May 20, 2013

Kice Rrispies
posted by Sys Rq at 4:42 PM on May 20, 2013

Lettuce. But not for breakfast.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:43 PM on May 20, 2013

Mango lassie
posted by shothotbot at 4:44 PM on May 20, 2013

Nutella and almond-butter sandwich.
posted by box at 4:46 PM on May 20, 2013

Organic Trix
posted by Sys Rq at 4:48 PM on May 20, 2013

Phở is not only the most popular breakfast in Vietnam but is also internationally renowned as a symbol of Vietnamese gastronomy.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:49 PM on May 20, 2013

Raclet is full of cheesy goodness and potatoes.
posted by arcticseal at 4:50 PM on May 20, 2013

Salad, but not for breakfast.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:53 PM on May 20, 2013

Quinoa has been left out of this discussion.
posted by snorkmaiden at 5:09 PM on May 20, 2013

Toast! With butter and sugar and cinnamon!
posted by Night_owl at 5:09 PM on May 20, 2013

Udder juice is what we called the milk we put in our cereal
posted by rmless at 5:15 PM on May 20, 2013

Vegan breakfasts are bland as hell,
and do not fit my habits well.
Sleep knits up the ravel'd sleave of care
and wants a breakfast of steak done rare.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:16 PM on May 20, 2013

Waffles, each square carefully filled with real maple syrup.
posted by donnagirl at 5:26 PM on May 20, 2013

Xanthan gum? What the hell is that? Next time I'm making my own goddamn bread.
posted by box at 5:37 PM on May 20, 2013

Yam sandwich. Yamwhich
posted by shothotbot at 5:40 PM on May 20, 2013

Zam I am, green eggs and zam!
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:43 PM on May 20, 2013

All the things you're grateful for, now.
posted by donnagirl at 5:44 PM on May 20, 2013

BREAKFAST. The meal no one does fast.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:45 PM on May 20, 2013

Crumpets always seemed to me to be the most preposterous breakfast food. All full of themselves, these crumpets. Sound the trumpets for the crumpets!
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:47 PM on May 20, 2013

Dandelion and burdock is the drink of champions.
posted by arcticseal at 6:07 PM on May 20, 2013

Eggs and bacon and toast and sausage and fruit and eggs and steak and bacon and cereal and yogurt and berries and jam and oatmeal and blintzes and omelets and coffee and bloody marys and bellinis and lions and tigers and bears and sashimi and tabouli and donuts and pastries and goat cheese and lox with bagels and rice soup and pancakes and tea and muffins and mimosas and gruel and blood pudding and kippers and salmon and cottage cheese with peaches and cheese and ham and McMuffins and beans and rice and noodles and candied wheat and vegemite and two tablets of Alka-Seltzer and cinnamon buns and sausage and an onion and juice and pupusas and frijoles and maramalade. I like marmalade.

That's what I eat every morning.

It hasn't killed me yet.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:08 PM on May 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Fuckin' hell, twoleftfeet. Not yet, but at that rate, maybe soon.
posted by barnacles at 6:11 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Goose liver pate, you forgot that.
posted by arcticseal at 6:18 PM on May 20, 2013

Hash browns, twoleftfeet, you forgot the hash browns!!!
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:19 PM on May 20, 2013

Jam I see but you forgot jelly.
posted by shothotbot at 6:22 PM on May 20, 2013

Ice cream?
posted by donnagirl at 6:23 PM on May 20, 2013

Kidding aside, I had a right foot before I started that diet.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:38 PM on May 20, 2013

Lemon ricotta pancakes
posted by Area Man at 6:40 PM on May 20, 2013

Marmalade. I like marmalade.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:44 PM on May 20, 2013

No room for Marmite?
posted by arcticseal at 6:45 PM on May 20, 2013

OMG (Oh, Marmite. God knows you have to draw the line somewhere.)
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:47 PM on May 20, 2013

Petit déjeuner is French for "put it down my jeans." Which is how the French enjoy breakfast.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:49 PM on May 20, 2013

Quote the number 5 unquote.
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:54 PM on May 20, 2013

Regrettably, grits is where I draw the line.
posted by arcticseal at 7:05 PM on May 20, 2013

Sorghum molasses
is made from grasses
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:08 PM on May 20, 2013

Toaster pastry? Thanks, but I'm good.
posted by box at 7:11 PM on May 20, 2013

Tea is a traditional breakfast drink
It wakes you up, and pee, I think.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:11 PM on May 20, 2013

Unless I am very sadly mistaken,
The only good breakfast is one slab of bacon.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:13 PM on May 20, 2013

Vichyssoise is a breakfast food,
Served correctly, it is quite good.
Sleep's unraveled knit I unfold,
and eat up my breakfast, slimy and cold.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:26 PM on May 20, 2013

Waffles taste good, with syrup of maple.
No waffling here, to me it's a staple.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:27 PM on May 20, 2013

Xander from Buffy is my breakfast. I mean this literally. I eat pieces of a still-living Nicholas Brendan for breakfast every day. It's terrible.
posted by Sticherbeast at 7:27 PM on May 20, 2013

With a name like Smuckers, you can tell it's an old company... today it'd be Smuckr.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:27 PM on May 20, 2013

XXX breakfast foods are not,
but if they were, it could be quite hot.
I like to eat hot breakfast foods as a rule
But too hot and each bite includes a small drool.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:30 PM on May 20, 2013

X-Rays of my head just came back. Good news. They found nothing.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:30 PM on May 20, 2013

Yes, we have no bananas for your cereal.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:31 PM on May 20, 2013

Zat's okay; bananas smell terrible, anyway. Too bad, because their packaging is superb.
posted by barnacles at 7:34 PM on May 20, 2013

A man, a plan, a banana.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:47 PM on May 20, 2013

Bananas? Yes, we have no bananas.

Why did you say "yes" then? You should have said "no, we don't have bananas", if you really didn't have any bananas. I mean it's simple logic, right?

Yes. Bananas.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:47 PM on May 20, 2013

Clear the way for ambiguity:
posted by Sticherbeast at 7:52 PM on May 20, 2013

"Double-u."
posted by Sticherbeast at 7:53 PM on May 20, 2013

Eye
posted by donnagirl at 7:54 PM on May 20, 2013

F this thing.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:04 PM on May 20, 2013

4
posted by fleacircus at 8:09 PM on May 20, 2013

Grunts and snarls.
posted by fleacircus at 8:10 PM on May 20, 2013

Hell's belles.
posted by vrakatar at 8:19 PM on May 20, 2013

I just don't know.
posted by dg at 8:27 PM on May 20, 2013

Just say know.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:39 PM on May 20, 2013

Know what you don't no.
posted by donnagirl at 8:43 PM on May 20, 2013

wonk backwards
posted by ook at 8:43 PM on May 20, 2013

let's start over from the eht morf revo trats s'tel
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:49 PM on May 20, 2013

mazola
posted by mazola at 9:26 PM on May 20, 2013

nbapmb is 'mazola' one letter ahead on each letter.
posted by mazola at 9:28 PM on May 20, 2013

ocbqnc is...
posted by mazola at 9:28 PM on May 20, 2013

pdcrod? I think I heard of a rapper named PD Crod...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:31 PM on May 20, 2013

qedspe, and I think that horse is beaten beyond death and the shark is jumped beyond the Fonz
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:32 PM on May 20, 2013

really, I could have started with poftxfmmgppq, but nobody wanted that.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:33 PM on May 20, 2013

Shucks, I was just working up a brilliant line about R. Fet Qf, ambassador of somewhere small and vowel-averse.

The brilliant part was going to come later.
posted by ook at 9:34 PM on May 20, 2013

Undoubtedly.

MetaFilter: The brilliant part was going to come later.
posted by mazola at 9:42 PM on May 20, 2013

Verily and forsooth. Sooth. Sooth. Sooth. (Yes, I've turned into a soothsayer.)
posted by Athanassiel at 9:46 PM on May 20, 2013

Way too sooth.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:50 PM on May 20, 2013

Vermouth, with a dash of gin. Stirred not shaken. The favorite drink of bizarro James Bond.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:51 PM on May 20, 2013

X_{X_{X_{X_{X_{X_{X_{X_{X_{X_{X_{X_{X_X}}}}}}}}}}}}
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:56 PM on May 20, 2013

Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^{Y^Y}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:57 PM on May 20, 2013

zedzedzedzedzedzed
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:01 PM on May 20, 2013

∀
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:10 PM on May 20, 2013

ߘ
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:15 PM on May 20, 2013

ٮ
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:17 PM on May 20, 2013

Boxes. Just boxes. Please can we stick with an alphabet everyone can see?
posted by donnagirl at 10:19 PM on May 20, 2013

C̟͈͕̦̘̖̼̾̑͆ã̴̝̠̞̜̭̝̠̯̄ͬͦ͌̌̚̚n̛̥̩̮̖͍͍ͩ̇͂ͯ̾ͬ̀͒͘ ̴̳͔͉̄ͬ͒͐̃̊͟͝y̸̦̪̬̟̤͍ͫ̆̃͆o̸̹͖̯̪̜̘̿̑ͨ̀͗͋͗̀u̲̗͚͎͍ͦ̋͊̍ͣ̂͜ ̨̢̻̬̬̱̌͛ͯͬ̋̄͛́̕s͓̯̞̋̾͟e̍ͣ͌̂҉̼͙͎e̶̪͒̂̄̐̀͋ ̹͙͕̝̈́̽Z̴̟̞̟̤̲͇̑͐͘͘ͅͅa͚ͩ̉́͡ĺ҉̯̀g͚̑ͣ͛ͤ̏ͩͬ͗̈́͘͟o̜̦͓̮̓͛̍͗͌?̷̶̪̱̠̤̫̦͖ͥ̍̌͘ͅ
posted by klangklangston at 10:22 PM on May 20, 2013

ȸ looks like a penis
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:24 PM on May 20, 2013

Ǝ
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:24 PM on May 20, 2013

ǝpoɔıun pɐǝɹ ʇ,uɐɔ noʎ ɟı ʇı ʞɔnɟ
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:27 PM on May 20, 2013

Give you a break
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:35 PM on May 20, 2013

H H I forget what H was for
posted by ook at 11:01 PM on May 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

I was at the grocery store and Vicky Christine Barcelona came to mind. Tee hee.
posted by fleacircus at 11:14 PM on May 20, 2013

                                                   ,o',o'
                                                ,o$$$$$$
                                             ,o$$$$$$$
                                       ,,o$$$$$$$$$$$ ,A,
                                ,,,ooO$$$$$$$$$$$   '$$$$$'
                        ,ooO$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ o,A,\$$$/,A,o
                     ,o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ,-$$$$,$$$,$$$$-,
                    o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ 'T$$$$$$$$$$$T'
                    $$$$""      """$$$$$$$$$$$$$$  '$$$$$$$$'
                ,o$ $$$(            """"$$$$$$$$$$$ /$$$$$$\
      ,oO$$$$$$$$$$$ O$$o    ,o,          """"""""
     o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o=====$ $$$=============$$$$$$$$
                             'o'              $$$$$$$$
     "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$                       o$$$$$$$
       "O$$$$$$$$$$$$$,                    ,$$$$$$$
                   ''o$$,                 ,$$$$$$$
                       'o$,              ,$$$$$$$
                         'o$,          ,$$$$$$$"
                           'o$,       ,$$$$$$$$
                            'o$        ,$$$$$$
                             'o$     ,$$$$$$$$'
                              'o$   $$$$$$$$'
                               'o$$$$$$$$$'
                                '$$$$$$$$'
                                '$$$$$$'
                                 '$$$'
                                  $'

posted by barnacles at 12:05 AM on May 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

kinda looks like a barnacle in motion. Is that right?
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:22 AM on May 21, 2013

let's all back away while barnacles beats the crap out of twoleftfeet, shall we?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:26 AM on May 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Must be something I'm not seeing. Missing PRE tag, maybe?
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:28 AM on May 21, 2013

No offense intended anyway. I was reflecting on an earlier thought.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:31 AM on May 21, 2013

Offense cannot be taken where no offense was intended!
posted by barnacles at 12:34 AM on May 21, 2013

Plus hugs are better than offenses.
posted by barnacles at 12:34 AM on May 21, 2013

Quick note to twoleftfeet: Toronto and baseball.
posted by barnacles at 12:35 AM on May 21, 2013

Reckon I shoulda filed it under "B", I suppose, but that's not the way I roll today. File me under "rebel, goddamned".
posted by barnacles at 12:36 AM on May 21, 2013

Space and time
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:40 AM on May 21, 2013

Time and space
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:41 AM on May 21, 2013

Time and space.
posted by barnacles at 12:41 AM on May 21, 2013

Üüüüüüüüps.
posted by barnacles at 12:42 AM on May 21, 2013

Understand the links, and you will understand all the connections
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:43 AM on May 21, 2013

well, for anyone for whom it didn't render properly, here's what barnacles' ASCII art was supposed to look like... JAY bird, right? Because it shouldn't have been a BLUE jay. That's on the other end of the alphabet.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:46 AM on May 21, 2013

Vee-Jay day. I'm better at smoking jays than recognizing them in the wild.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:49 AM on May 21, 2013

X-acto knife cuts the time-space continuum, and the future becomes the past.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:52 AM on May 21, 2013

You really shouldn't be giving people the bird...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:56 AM on May 21, 2013

Zamboni is not a word you hear as much. At this point I can't think of anything new to say, so I'm just going to keep linking to my previous thoughts.

CAREFUL! Don't click that link! Your time-space continuum could get warped!!
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:59 AM on May 21, 2013

Awfully weird. It rendered right (and continues to!) for me. BTW, oneswellfoop, I covered the misfiling under "J" already.
posted by barnacles at 1:30 AM on May 21, 2013

Blimey; this thread is still going...
posted by Wordshore at 3:02 AM on May 21, 2013

Can you dig it?
posted by iamkimiam at 3:22 AM on May 21, 2013

Dirty mackintosh brigade, them blokes who have a predilection for exposing their genitals in public.
posted by jeremias at 3:51 AM on May 21, 2013

Extreme thread gets extreme comments.
posted by adamvasco at 5:02 AM on May 21, 2013

Finally, a chance to reveal my love of canned sardines.
posted by Area Man at 5:39 AM on May 21, 2013

Gadnabbit. Just checked in expecting a dead thread, and here we are.
posted by Sophie1 at 6:28 AM on May 21, 2013

Here we are indeed. Once mefites stake out an area of silliness we will defend it to the very end
posted by ook at 6:41 AM on May 21, 2013

I am about to go hit the lawn with the shop vac, by the way. For reals. I'll report back later on the results.
posted by ook at 6:43 AM on May 21, 2013

Just use a Swiffer.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:50 AM on May 21, 2013

Kilos of slugs and dandelions, ending up in shop vac. (auto correct persists in making this shop van. Matches the amount of dandelions and slugs. (and yes. It's a real issue here.)
posted by Namlit at 7:16 AM on May 21, 2013

Lazily, I omitted a ")"
posted by Namlit at 7:17 AM on May 21, 2013

Maybe use a Roomba? (Lawnba??)
posted by Kabanos at 7:18 AM on May 21, 2013

Nourishment for the slug-eating goat!
posted by Namlit at 7:20 AM on May 21, 2013

Otherwise one orangutang.
posted by shothotbot at 7:23 AM on May 21, 2013

Perfect if your lawn happens to be covered in fruit, I guess.
posted by Kabanos at 7:43 AM on May 21, 2013

Pleased to report that that was quite possibly the most satisfying thing ever.

YOU SHALL NOT GERMINATE</gandalf>
posted by ook at 7:44 AM on May 21, 2013

QARTH. With a Q.
posted by barnacles at 9:00 AM on May 21, 2013

Podrick's bizarre sexual skills still confuse me. More power to him, of course, but it confuses/hilariouses me.
posted by barnacles at 9:01 AM on May 21, 2013

Really happy, too, that HBO saw the fucking light and is releasing Game of Thrones on iTunes in Australia less than a day after it airs in the US. You could go onto the Torrents or deal with the sleazebaggano in the office who always has the hookup, but who cares when you can just do a season pass subscription and have it ready and waiting for you when you get back from work, beers wine and pide at the ready?

BRAVO, HBO. Bravo.
posted by barnacles at 9:03 AM on May 21, 2013

Same for the folks who make Mad Men, and props should be delivered. The world forgets the Antipodes most of the time, but christ, the antipodes forgets nothing. They're just biding their time. SEND HELP THEY WON'T LET ME HAVE ACCESS TO PROPER MUSTARDS OR HOPPY BEERS
posted by barnacles at 9:05 AM on May 21, 2013

To be fair, decent (e.g., cheap and bitey) yellow mustard fer hotdiggitydogs and beers with hops are able to be found and it's really quick nice down here. I'm just required -- per the conditions of my visa -- to do the occasional RAH RAH USA pro bono work.

Otherwise: US EMBASSY PAMPHLET DROPS ON MY HOUSE
posted by barnacles at 9:07 AM on May 21, 2013

Ummm, maybe I shouldn't have used a blink tag.
posted by barnacles at 9:09 AM on May 21, 2013

Very soon, I imagine a mod will come to fix it, though.
posted by barnacles at 9:10 AM on May 21, 2013

Well, I'm getting the wrap-it-up sign from the guy working the sound board, so I suppose I'll turn it back over to twoleftfeetnow.

Have a great night, and be sure to tip your waiter!

Directly. In cash. I hear the house intercepts all the tips from the jar.
posted by barnacles at 9:11 AM on May 21, 2013

X marks the spot. i propose piratery.
posted by greenish at 9:14 AM on May 21, 2013

Y u no close thred, modz?
posted by Wordshore at 9:19 AM on May 21, 2013

Y'all were speaking of slugs a little while ago? Slug sex and dandelions and shop vacs (or a weed-whacker - Oh my!)...
posted by peagood at 9:19 AM on May 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zebras are holding the mods at bay. That, and our promise not to fuck things up, and probably also cortex's random bursts of participation. That blink tag is crazy annoying, btw.
posted by donnagirl at 9:40 AM on May 21, 2013

ACCESS TO PROPER MUSTARDS OR HOPPY BEERS -- But isn't that what makes VB so terrible?
posted by Sys Rq at 9:47 AM on May 21, 2013

Because I'm a bit of a beer snob in my own little way (in that I love a tasty beer and I take bad beer as a personal slight), I have shat upon VB in my time (more than once) but it has been a true source of comfort in time of need for me, and so I guess I gotta give it some props in some way.

When you've been out working like a fool in the heat of summer and it's 45C in the shade and you have to wear long-sleeve shirts tucked into long pants and walk 10 kilometers across the desert with only the water you can carry on your back, it turns out that you build up a thirst.

A hard-earned thirst, some might say!

Ho-ly shit. After a day (or two, or fourteen) of that, there is nothing so good to your body and tastebuds as a piss-weak watery boring beer like VB. Nectar of the goddamned gods, I tell you what.

I'd genuinely love to hear anything about scientific research on the topic, because the effect is not as good with beers that I'd normally drink in my off-time. No pale ales or tasty porters or pricey Anchor Steams then, no thanks god I think they'd kill me, but a VB?

Fuck. Yes. Someone, drop some science bombs on me.
posted by barnacles at 9:55 AM on May 21, 2013

C₈H₁₀N₄O₂
posted by zarq at 10:06 AM on May 21, 2013

Damn Barnacles, that's precisely how I used to feel about VB in my desert wandering days. Except maybe it was never really thirst quenching unless you sunk the whole carton and rugby tackled one of the drillers off the first floor balcony of the hotel. But you articulate the heart of the matter so well.
posted by Ahab at 10:29 AM on May 21, 2013

Eh, I don't know. I'm getting a little sick of hoppy beers. There's more to the brewer's art than just using boiling as many hops as possible.
posted by Area Man at 10:46 AM on May 21, 2013

FFS, I can't tell what VB stands for and I tried as hard as I'm willing to, which is not very hard, to figure it out by scrolling up.

But whatever it is it sounds like what I think of as Lawnmower Beer for similar laudatory reasons: when you just finished mowing the goddam lawn on a too-sunny day, it is not time for finely crafted nuance and shit, it's time for A Beer. Some simple pilsner or lager that just goes right down the throat and reminds you that life is a pretty good situation.

If I were a rich man, maybe I'd just always have a really nice kolsch around as the slightly dressier alternative. Occidental sells it in cans now, which is the sort of thing that makes Portland awesome even if, like me, you don't really like the hoppiness that's front-and-center in 70% of what gets brewed locally.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:49 AM on May 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

Go enjoy your beer while you can. The weeds are taking over
posted by Namlit at 10:59 AM on May 21, 2013

Having a VB is not as bad as having a VD. Especially on a hot day.
posted by Kabanos at 11:03 AM on May 21, 2013

I mean, that's what my friend told me.
posted by Kabanos at 11:03 AM on May 21, 2013

Just so you non-hoppy folks know: Slate is on your side.
posted by EvaDestruction at 11:07 AM on May 21, 2013

Kotex -- I mean cortex, sorry -- VB is actually Australian for beer, no matter what Paul Hogan might tell you.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:12 AM on May 21, 2013

Maybe if Pierce Brosnan had been willing to cut his own grass like a real goddam American we wouldn't have spent the last twenty years living in a hellish cyberdystopia.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:34 AM on May 21, 2013

No-Trimmington Steele
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:35 AM on May 21, 2013

Oh Oh Seven: You Only Mow Never
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:36 AM on May 21, 2013

Pie?
posted by shothotbot at 11:43 AM on May 21, 2013

"pierce brosnan movies gardening puns" is an unhelpful Google search.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:43 AM on May 21, 2013

Q hands Bond a cherry pie. "Oh, very clever, it's a disguised landmine or some such?"

No, Q replies, it's a pie. Eat a damned pie. You're too skinny. Pulls mask of his face: it's actually Bond's mother.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:58 AM on May 21, 2013

RolledInPie
posted by Sys Rq at 12:01 PM on May 21, 2013

Sod That Loved Me, The.
posted by Kabanos at 12:19 PM on May 21, 2013

Try Another Tray
posted by Sys Rq at 12:25 PM on May 21, 2013

Underball.
posted by dg at 12:29 PM on May 21, 2013

U only eat pies
posted by Namlit at 12:30 PM on May 21, 2013

Violive and Violet Die
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:31 PM on May 21, 2013

With misgivings from Estonia
posted by Namlit at 12:32 PM on May 21, 2013

X-actopussy
posted by Sys Rq at 12:32 PM on May 21, 2013

Zucchini Royale
posted by EvaDestruction at 12:34 PM on May 21, 2013

Yikes, and there was You Only Weed Twice, just ripe for the picking.
posted by EvaDestruction at 12:35 PM on May 21, 2013

You only skip twice
posted by Namlit at 12:35 PM on May 21, 2013

YOU ONLY REPAIR THRICE
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:36 PM on May 21, 2013

A tantrum of shoelace
posted by Namlit at 12:36 PM on May 21, 2013

Bold drinker
posted by Namlit at 12:37 PM on May 21, 2013

Castrato Vocale
posted by Namlit at 12:37 PM on May 21, 2013

Core Your Apples Only
posted by Sys Rq at 12:37 PM on May 21, 2013

Doctor Nope, Chuck Testa
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:37 PM on May 21, 2013

Enough is Not the World
posted by Sys Rq at 12:39 PM on May 21, 2013

Fly, you fools!
posted by Namlit at 12:39 PM on May 21, 2013

GoldenDoodle
posted by Namlit at 12:40 PM on May 21, 2013

Hon 'Er Majesty's Secret Service, Innit Luv
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:41 PM on May 21, 2013

High Fence to Drill
posted by Sys Rq at 12:41 PM on May 21, 2013

I Who Loved Me
posted by Sys Rq at 12:45 PM on May 21, 2013

Jalapeño Royale
posted by Sys Rq at 12:45 PM on May 21, 2013

Know that there are now two Jalapeño references in this thread.
posted by shothotbot at 12:48 PM on May 21, 2013

Key Lime Pie Another Day
posted by Sys Rq at 12:48 PM on May 21, 2013

Live and Left Eye
posted by box at 12:49 PM on May 21, 2013

Moldfinger
posted by shothotbot at 12:50 PM on May 21, 2013

Moldfinger
posted by Sys Rq at 12:50 PM on May 21, 2013

Moldfinger?
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:50 PM on May 21, 2013

Moldfinger.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:51 PM on May 21, 2013

No, Doctor
posted by Sys Rq at 12:51 PM on May 21, 2013

Only Preview
posted by shothotbot at 12:53 PM on May 21, 2013

Pumpkins are Forever
posted by Sys Rq at 12:55 PM on May 21, 2013

Quantum of Soil Test
posted by Kabanos at 12:58 PM on May 21, 2013

Russia, Baby, You Know I Love You
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:58 PM on May 21, 2013

Skyfail.
posted by dg at 1:00 PM on May 21, 2013

Saruman with the golden bolt
posted by Namlit at 1:00 PM on May 21, 2013

Tractorpussy
posted by Sys Rq at 1:01 PM on May 21, 2013

Under Her Majesty: Secret Service
posted by Kabanos at 1:04 PM on May 21, 2013

Verandahs Never Die
posted by Sys Rq at 1:07 PM on May 21, 2013

Wield another pie
posted by Namlit at 1:08 PM on May 21, 2013

You only eat pies
posted by Namlit at 1:08 PM on May 21, 2013

Xerxes ghost! Back to X!
posted by shothotbot at 1:08 PM on May 21, 2013

Xcruciating blooper
posted by Namlit at 1:08 PM on May 21, 2013

Zuneraker
posted by Sys Rq at 1:10 PM on May 21, 2013

A view to a dill
posted by Kabanos at 1:17 PM on May 21, 2013

Bond movie
posted by sleevener at 1:44 PM on May 21, 2013

Chiropractor No
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:46 PM on May 21, 2013

Dr. Too Early To Say
posted by Sys Rq at 1:55 PM on May 21, 2013

Edgar Allen Poe jokes, go:
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:58 PM on May 21, 2013

Fall of the House of Flusher, more like.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:58 PM on May 21, 2013

Gack! What is in this Cask of Amontillado anyhow?
posted by shothotbot at 2:02 PM on May 21, 2013

However more.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:14 PM on May 21, 2013

Heffalump (Edgar Allen Pooh, right? Right?)
posted by Namlit at 2:14 PM on May 21, 2013

Grade AA pollen
posted by Kabanos at 2:19 PM on May 21, 2013

in a dream with an in-dream in a ... dream ... eh
posted by Namlit at 2:25 PM on May 21, 2013

I don't know the alphabet, apparently.
posted by Kabanos at 2:26 PM on May 21, 2013

James. Bond James.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:56 PM on May 21, 2013

Kask of amontillado
posted by jeremias at 3:14 PM on May 21, 2013

Kodecs, I mean Cortex, kan you kindly klue me in? Kan you do an Infodump on my brain?

What is the official record for the most number of comments in a thread, throughout the Metafilter Universe?

Paging Cortex. Call for Cortex. Klu Klux Kan you help?
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:16 PM on May 21, 2013

"Let no bell toll"

Poe verse/Potential Bond title
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:27 PM on May 21, 2013

Mangy bird, shut up! Who listens to some dumb bird anyhow.
posted by shothotbot at 3:31 PM on May 21, 2013

Maybe it's worth saying this. It really doesn't matter if you fuck up the alphabet too much. That shit gonna happen. It doesn't matter if you happen to make a comment that wasn't fast enough, so someone else got there first. All that matters is persistence, the willingness to keep commenting for the whole month that we have until the system automatically shuts us down.

This is a collective enterprise. It's a testament to the power of ordinary individuals to take a standard premise ("I'm commenting on a website") and run with it, well beyond the point where it makes any sense.

It's an expression of humanity. Also of insanity, community, vulgarity, and many other itty bitty -ities. But most of all of humanity. This new technological world of webpages and comments cannot hold us prisoner.

We push the limits of our prison. We go beyond. We are human.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:31 PM on May 21, 2013

Never Say Nevermore Again
posted by box at 3:32 PM on May 21, 2013

Order up: 8,218 comments is the record.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:37 PM on May 21, 2013

Pick up the pace, people!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:40 PM on May 21, 2013

PRETTY MUCH
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:41 PM on May 21, 2013

QUITE THE REVISIONIST, EP
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:41 PM on May 21, 2013

Revision is better than repetition, when it comes to alphabet games...
posted by midmarch snowman at 3:43 PM on May 21, 2013

Solstice a month from today. Then, the nights draw in. Winter approaches.
posted by Wordshore at 3:51 PM on May 21, 2013

TERROR IN NORTH DAKOTA
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:52 PM on May 21, 2013

UNDER A FARGO MOON
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:52 PM on May 21, 2013

Too soon?
posted by Sys Rq at 3:52 PM on May 21, 2013

VENISON AND DEATH
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:53 PM on May 21, 2013

Walter Kowalkski's a genre-writing machine.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:54 PM on May 21, 2013

WHY THE CAPS?
posted by Wordshore at 3:54 PM on May 21, 2013

X MARKS THE SNOWMOBILE
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:55 PM on May 21, 2013

YOU MARKED MY SNOWMOBILE NOW YOU WILL PAY
posted by ook at 3:58 PM on May 21, 2013

Zooks! (of the Gad Variety)
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:11 PM on May 21, 2013

At almost 2500 comments in 6 days, we are generally on pace to a 15,000 comment thread, but we know how things s l o w
d
o
w
n.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:14 PM on May 21, 2013

But with the foopster back in front of his keyboard and gaping into the maw of a very boring week, I could probably do a couple thou myself, as long as twoleftfeet does more...
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:16 PM on May 21, 2013

Can do more. Much more. Haven't even warmed up yet.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:18 PM on May 21, 2013

Candy bars endorsed by rock stars.
posted by box at 4:19 PM on May 21, 2013

Don't we all love Ted Nougat.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:20 PM on May 21, 2013

Eminem and M's
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:22 PM on May 21, 2013

Feist and Ikes
posted by box at 4:25 PM on May 21, 2013

Goo Goo Dolls & Plenty
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:27 PM on May 21, 2013

Good and Puffy
posted by box at 4:28 PM on May 21, 2013

Henry Rollins, Oh
posted by box at 4:28 PM on May 21, 2013

Iggy Pop Rocks
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:30 PM on May 21, 2013

Junior Mink DeVille
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:31 PM on May 21, 2013

KitKat Stevens
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:31 PM on May 21, 2013

latitude, longitude
posted by Wordshore at 4:33 PM on May 21, 2013

Mitt Romney is your father, Luke.
posted by Wordshore at 4:33 PM on May 21, 2013

Lianne La Halvah
posted by iamkimiam at 4:34 PM on May 21, 2013

Mike & Ike Turner
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:34 PM on May 21, 2013

Nerds Herder
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:35 PM on May 21, 2013

Oppa Cortex Style
posted by Wordshore at 4:36 PM on May 21, 2013

Oh, Henry Rollins!
posted by iamkimiam at 4:36 PM on May 21, 2013

Peanut Bri'l Wayne
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:37 PM on May 21, 2013

Quasimacallit
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:40 PM on May 21, 2013

REO Henry
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:40 PM on May 21, 2013

Sara Bareilles Non Pareils
posted by iamkimiam at 4:41 PM on May 21, 2013

Three Musketears For Fears
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:42 PM on May 21, 2013

Ugly KitKat Joe
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:43 PM on May 21, 2013

Violent Femmes Crumble
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:43 PM on May 21, 2013

Weird Al's Wonka Bar
posted by iamkimiam at 4:45 PM on May 21, 2013

XTCrunch
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:46 PM on May 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yogurt covered candies aren't as healthy as you might think.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:47 PM on May 21, 2013

Yello Mellow
posted by iamkimiam at 4:48 PM on May 21, 2013

Zero 700 Grand
posted by iamkimiam at 4:51 PM on May 21, 2013

All aboard MetaFilter Chat!
posted by Wordshore at 4:52 PM on May 21, 2013

But... but... I thought THIS was the free-form-est thing at MeFi!
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:53 PM on May 21, 2013

Cortex is on fire tonite (not, literally).
posted by Wordshore at 4:56 PM on May 21, 2013

Drop a bucket of water on him anyway, just in case...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:01 PM on May 21, 2013

Fwoosh!
posted by snorkmaiden at 5:37 PM on May 21, 2013

Gush the Raven
posted by Namlit at 5:38 PM on May 21, 2013

EEK
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:41 PM on May 21, 2013

Hooks and ladders come to the scene
Blaring out a loud sir-een.
What is on fire they do not know,
They just like to go where there is a glow.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:43 PM on May 21, 2013

Iron Butterfinger
posted by box at 5:47 PM on May 21, 2013

Jujubeyoncés
posted by box at 5:48 PM on May 21, 2013

Kid Creole and the Almond Joys
posted by box at 5:48 PM on May 21, 2013

Lemonheads
posted by box at 5:49 PM on May 21, 2013

Lemonheads Except As A Pun
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:50 PM on May 21, 2013

Man-O-Honey
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:50 PM on May 21, 2013

Necco Case
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:51 PM on May 21, 2013

Oreo Speedwagon
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:51 PM on May 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

PJ Hershey
posted by box at 5:52 PM on May 21, 2013

Peanut brittle is very tasty, but quite brittle. In our labs we are trying to make it less brittle, for shipping purposes.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:52 PM on May 21, 2013

Quicksilver Milk Dud Service
posted by box at 5:52 PM on May 21, 2013

Ray Charleston Chew
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:55 PM on May 21, 2013

Sugar Ray Daddies
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:55 PM on May 21, 2013

Turkish Deee-lite
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:55 PM on May 21, 2013

Ted Nougat
posted by Sys Rq at 5:58 PM on May 21, 2013

Uriah Heath
posted by box at 5:59 PM on May 21, 2013

Vanilla Fudge
posted by box at 6:00 PM on May 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Wunderbarry Manilow
posted by Sys Rq at 6:01 PM on May 21, 2013

XTCeeses Peanut Butter Cups
posted by MCMikeNamara at 6:04 PM on May 21, 2013

Y Kant Tori Reeses Pieces
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:04 PM on May 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zevon Plenty
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:05 PM on May 21, 2013

Almond Joyce Brothers
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:05 PM on May 21, 2013

ZZ Toblerone
posted by MCMikeNamara at 6:06 PM on May 21, 2013

Alaska Dating: The Deadliest Crabs
posted by XMLicious at 6:06 PM on May 21, 2013

Bounty Holly
posted by Sys Rq at 6:07 PM on May 21, 2013

Connie Chungky
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:08 PM on May 21, 2013

Dangit, are we doing fake reality shows or candy bars slash daytime talk show personalities past and present?
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:08 PM on May 21, 2013

Dick Twizzler
posted by box at 6:08 PM on May 21, 2013

Edward R. Mars Bar
posted by MCMikeNamara at 6:09 PM on May 21, 2013

Fred Fisherman's Friendly
posted by box at 6:10 PM on May 21, 2013

Geraldo 3 Musketeera
posted by Sys Rq at 6:10 PM on May 21, 2013

Howard K. Smith Bros.
posted by box at 6:13 PM on May 21, 2013

Ina Jaffe Taffy
posted by box at 6:15 PM on May 21, 2013

Judge Jujuby
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:16 PM on May 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Jerthers Orijinal
posted by Namlit at 6:16 PM on May 21, 2013

Klondike, Yukon Territories. I wanted to go to a bar, and they kept asking me what I would do for it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:16 PM on May 21, 2013

KitKathie Lee Gifford
posted by Sys Rq at 6:16 PM on May 21, 2013

Kokoa for the Tillerman
posted by Namlit at 6:16 PM on May 21, 2013

Kit Kathie Lee Gifford
posted by MCMikeNamara at 6:17 PM on May 21, 2013

Leeway. gimme some leeway
posted by Namlit at 6:17 PM on May 21, 2013

Milky Povichway
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:18 PM on May 21, 2013

Nougat Kids on the Block
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:18 PM on May 21, 2013

Nerdshey bars
posted by Namlit at 6:18 PM on May 21, 2013

Nestle Stahl.
posted by box at 6:19 PM on May 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

Oh, too many Ns!
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:19 PM on May 21, 2013

Phil Donuthue
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:19 PM on May 21, 2013

Onion rings [heh]
posted by Namlit at 6:19 PM on May 21, 2013

Oh Henry! Rollins
posted by Sys Rq at 6:20 PM on May 21, 2013

Questionable leftovers
posted by Namlit at 6:20 PM on May 21, 2013

Ravenous, Quoth, the
posted by Namlit at 6:21 PM on May 21, 2013

Skorley Safer
posted by Sys Rq at 6:22 PM on May 21, 2013

Tupercalifragilisticexpialidocious
posted by Namlit at 6:23 PM on May 21, 2013

Terry Wogan's Chocolate Orange
posted by Sys Rq at 6:23 PM on May 21, 2013

Uri Geller's energy drink
posted by Namlit at 6:26 PM on May 21, 2013

Vast amounts of Nutella
posted by Namlit at 6:26 PM on May 21, 2013

Walter Fun Bite
posted by box at 6:27 PM on May 21, 2013

Wide in waist, a consequence
posted by Namlit at 6:27 PM on May 21, 2013

X-rayed for hidden stash
posted by Namlit at 6:27 PM on May 21, 2013

Yumminess found by surgeon
posted by Namlit at 6:28 PM on May 21, 2013

Zatisfying conclusion of this day for me. gnite
posted by Namlit at 6:28 PM on May 21, 2013

'avin' a laugh at the format, are we?
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:29 PM on May 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

'bout time someone took the stuffing out of our wordgames
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:30 PM on May 21, 2013

'ckham's razor suggests as much.
posted by box at 6:31 PM on May 21, 2013

'Damn apostrophe keeps sneaking in front of my sentences. FOR NO REASON
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:41 PM on May 21, 2013

'e is a right bastard, that one.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:42 PM on May 21, 2013

'd have thought so.
posted by ook at 6:42 PM on May 21, 2013

'f we're on f, I got it.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:48 PM on May 21, 2013

Grandpa came over on the Mayflower. Not the boat, the actual flower. He met Grandma at a deli in the Lower East Side. It could have been like West Side Story, except on the Lower East. He was Puerto Rican and she was Irish Catholic. Together they made lots of babies. They had that in common.

I remember, growing up, Grandpa would tell us about the old days. "Jackie Robinson came into the deli and wouldn't eat any food that was blackened." Grandpa was kind of an idiot. But Grandma was a dancer. She danced on Grandpa's grave. "It's a ballet!" she said. But none of us believed her.

Years later we all gathered around Grandpa's grave, celebrating the Day of the Dead. His ghost shot up out of the earth and said "I'm fucking Puerto Rican, not Mexican."

That's a true story. Why would anybody lie about a thing like that?
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:50 PM on May 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Hey, I do not even like contractions.
posted by box at 6:52 PM on May 21, 2013

I wouldn't've either if I'd've been you.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:53 PM on May 21, 2013

JUST YOU TRY TO CALL ME OUT ON THE REDUNDANT USE OF THE VERB 'TO HAVE' IN THAT SENTENCE
posted by Sys Rq at 6:54 PM on May 21, 2013

Knever.
posted by box at 6:57 PM on May 21, 2013

Late in his life Grandpa became senile. Some days he wasn't sure who he was. "I'm Mary, Queen of Scots!" he would say.

None of us wanted to hurt him, so we humored him. That's why we found him guilty of plotting to assassinate Elizabeth, and had him executed.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:20 PM on May 21, 2013

Mostly though, my childhood memories are of Grandma making jam. "Children, we're going to make jam!" she would say. And all of us children would run to the kitchen. Then we would pile into the old jalopy and head on down to the highway, parking in the middle of the onramp. And all the city folk would jam up, a delay that took them hours.

God I miss Grandmama.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:26 PM on May 21, 2013

Now that I think of it, Uncle Fred may not have entirely forthcoming when we were pretending to be automobiles, and he checked my oil by pulling on my dipstick.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:35 PM on May 21, 2013

Old lady Parson, down the street, was always a hoot. She always paid me a dollar to collect poppies. I never understood why she liked to put these flowers in a vein in her arm.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:37 PM on May 21, 2013

Perhaps I had an idyllic childhood, growing up in a small town, with cherished family members. Many of my cousins have moved away to the big city and found careers that don't require regular visits back to our small town. Which makes it more difficult for my lawyers to serve their subpoenas.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:41 PM on May 21, 2013

Quite.
posted by box at 7:42 PM on May 21, 2013

Red Vines or Twizzlers?

Your answer predicts which coast you're from.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:59 PM on May 21, 2013

So what if my answer is BLACK JELLY BEANS MASHED INTO AN EIGHT INCH LONG TURD OF LICORICE?
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:14 PM on May 21, 2013

The real question is - what are those things?
posted by dg at 8:23 PM on May 21, 2013

The California Department of Public Health announced a recall of one lot of Red Vines' black licorice candy due to lead contamination. Only the one-pound packages marked "Best Before 020413" were recalled. Testing found that candy in the contaminated lot had as much as 0.33 parts per million of lead resulting in up to 13.2 micrograms of lead per serving. This was more than double the limit of 6.0 micrograms of lead per day from all dietary sources for children under 6 years old.

I'll have a Twizzler, thanks.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:24 PM on May 21, 2013

Unleaded Red Vines is a pretty great band name.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:25 PM on May 21, 2013

Very Twizzler, also
posted by dg at 8:28 PM on May 21, 2013

When I was a kid, my mom told me that one of my aunts was involved in inventing a red licorice flavor during her short career as a food chemist.
posted by Area Man at 8:38 PM on May 21, 2013

X-rays cannot penetrate Red Vines.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:45 PM on May 21, 2013

You've given me a great idea for a Superman comic.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:48 PM on May 21, 2013

Zod is involved.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:13 PM on May 21, 2013

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
posted by vibratory manner of working at 9:15 PM on May 21, 2013

Bizarro Red Vines are Twizzlers?
posted by Sys Rq at 9:16 PM on May 21, 2013

Cinnamonsters.
posted by zamboni at 9:17 PM on May 21, 2013

Dementos.
posted by zamboni at 9:17 PM on May 21, 2013

Evilemonheads?
posted by Sys Rq at 9:19 PM on May 21, 2013

Fruit Stripe gum cause the donkey's gonna get you . . .
posted by jeremias at 9:23 PM on May 21, 2013

Funless Dip.
posted by zamboni at 9:23 PM on May 21, 2013

Famine & Death & War & Pestilence & Good & Plenty
posted by Sys Rq at 9:23 PM on May 21, 2013

Fruit Stripe gum (is even on its sown without wordplay because it is so delicious but then awful)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:24 PM on May 21, 2013

God Stoppers
posted by Sys Rq at 9:24 PM on May 21, 2013

Hundreds & Thousands of murderers
posted by Sys Rq at 9:29 PM on May 21, 2013

Ice Breakers of the Geneva Convention
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:46 PM on May 21, 2013

Juicy Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil
posted by Sys Rq at 10:10 PM on May 21, 2013

Krackel of Death
posted by donnagirl at 10:15 PM on May 21, 2013

Ku Kit Kat
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:16 PM on May 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Luden's Cough
posted by Sys Rq at 10:29 PM on May 21, 2013

m&mortal wound's
posted by Sys Rq at 10:32 PM on May 21, 2013

Necco Strafers
posted by Sys Rq at 10:34 PM on May 21, 2013

Orange Creme. (More "Street" than "Quality," that one.)
posted by Sys Rq at 10:45 PM on May 21, 2013

Pop your vital organs with Rocks
posted by Sys Rq at 10:56 PM on May 21, 2013

questionably sourced caramel apples
posted by Sys Rq at 11:03 PM on May 21, 2013

Red Hots

(where the "hot" means "radioactive")
posted by NoraReed at 11:22 PM on May 21, 2013

Shiv League Chew
posted by fleacircus at 11:49 PM on May 21, 2013

Tic Tox
posted by fleacircus at 11:51 PM on May 21, 2013

Uterus of Ruth
posted by dogwalker at 2:57 AM on May 22, 2013

Vulvas (Iced)
posted by dg at 3:40 AM on May 22, 2013

Well, now I'm thinking that might have been a step too far.
posted by dg at 3:43 AM on May 22, 2013

Xenougat
posted by dogwalker at 3:48 AM on May 22, 2013

Yog-Sothoth-gurt
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:51 AM on May 22, 2013

Zing! Went the strings of my heart
posted by greenish at 4:22 AM on May 22, 2013

Around we go again...
posted by Wordshore at 4:38 AM on May 22, 2013

Bastards brought me back to B
posted by shothotbot at 5:18 AM on May 22, 2013

Can I join in now?
posted by pianissimo at 5:49 AM on May 22, 2013

Doctor Who? More like Doctor Who Cares?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:52 AM on May 22, 2013

Elementary? More like remedial.
posted by shothotbot at 6:13 AM on May 22, 2013

Fringe? More like fromage.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:18 AM on May 22, 2013

Game of Thrones? More like LAME of Thrones.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:23 AM on May 22, 2013

How I Met Your Mother? More like How I Stretched Our Premise.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:24 AM on May 22, 2013

I Want to Believe? More like I Want a Bee Leaves.
posted by h00py at 6:31 AM on May 22, 2013

Jimmy Kimmel Live? More like... whatever.
posted by Sophie1 at 6:34 AM on May 22, 2013

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? More like Kiss Kiss Lame Lame.
posted by Area Man at 6:45 AM on May 22, 2013

Leaving Las Vegas? More like Let's Remake Wickerman.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:48 AM on May 22, 2013

Monster, starring Charlize Theron? More like Monster, by REM.
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:50 AM on May 22, 2013

Neverwhere? More like Never Care!
posted by h00py at 6:53 AM on May 22, 2013

Oh, no you didn't.
posted by Sophie1 at 6:53 AM on May 22, 2013

Pardon moi. I longed to abuse the edit button right after I typed it.
posted by h00py at 6:56 AM on May 22, 2013

Quaint euphemism? More like shut up and go to sleep.
posted by h00py at 6:59 AM on May 22, 2013

Randy Savage? More like Randy Snackage.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:08 AM on May 22, 2013

Reaming With The Stars? More like This Old Router
posted by ook at 7:09 AM on May 22, 2013

Submitting comments moments too late? yeah baby that's my specialty
posted by ook at 7:10 AM on May 22, 2013

Teen Wolf? More like Adolescent onset Hypertrichosis
posted by Kabanos at 7:13 AM on May 22, 2013

Underwear? More like over there.
posted by Kabanos at 7:14 AM on May 22, 2013

Violent Femmes? More like violent strumming.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:19 AM on May 22, 2013

William Shatner's Weird or What? More like William Shatner's Weird, With Nuts.
posted by peagood at 7:21 AM on May 22, 2013

White Zombie? More like Dead White Males.
posted by Kabanos at 7:21 AM on May 22, 2013

Xenophobics? More like xenaerobics.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:22 AM on May 22, 2013

Yes? More like No.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:22 AM on May 22, 2013

Z.Z.Top? More like A.A. Milne.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:22 AM on May 22, 2013

V for Vendetta? More like skipped over like a red headed stepchild.
posted by shothotbot at 7:23 AM on May 22, 2013

A.A. Milne? More like Z.Z. Top
posted by Kabanos at 7:23 AM on May 22, 2013

A is for Angus, a man or a beef.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:24 AM on May 22, 2013

B is for burping, or, vaginally, "queef".
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:25 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:25 AM on May 22, 2013 [2 favorites]

D is for dumbwaiter WHERE IS MY TEA
posted by Sys Rq at 7:26 AM on May 22, 2013

E is for Einstein, not so fine as me
posted by shothotbot at 7:27 AM on May 22, 2013

F is for Friday (from Dragnet was he)
posted by Sys Rq at 7:29 AM on May 22, 2013

F is for Frank Einstein, emceeing a square dance
posted by third rail at 7:29 AM on May 22, 2013

G is for ghosts, who crack whips whilst they ride
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:29 AM on May 22, 2013

H is for hiding and elephant hide
posted by Sys Rq at 7:30 AM on May 22, 2013

I is for inkling, of which I have none.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:31 AM on May 22, 2013

J is for Johnny, who did have his gun.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:32 AM on May 22, 2013

J is for J, of which I'll have one later
posted by ook at 7:32 AM on May 22, 2013

K is for kids and by that I mean goats
posted by Sys Rq at 7:32 AM on May 22, 2013

K is for keeerist how do I keep doing that
posted by ook at 7:32 AM on May 22, 2013

L is for Like, wow, for reals?
posted by ook at 7:33 AM on May 22, 2013

M is for maybe if you'd rhyme with us
posted by Sys Rq at 7:34 AM on May 22, 2013

N is for nless you want to get tossed under the bus
posted by shothotbot at 7:35 AM on May 22, 2013

N is for NOW THEN, THE NEXT LINE HAS GOATS
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:35 AM on May 22, 2013

M is for Moray, a family of eels.
posted by box at 7:35 AM on May 22, 2013

O is for Ook, 10 seconds late
posted by shothotbot at 7:35 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

C is for chaos, loosed mere on the world
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:35 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

P is for Purl, which is some kind of knitting thing, I think.
posted by box at 7:36 AM on May 22, 2013

P is for pate, or peas or plate.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:36 AM on May 22, 2013

Q is for queens smashing champagne on boats
posted by h00py at 7:37 AM on May 22, 2013

R is for rhyme, which scheme I did not not'ce
posted by ook at 7:37 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

S is for scansion, who knows where it's gone.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:37 AM on May 22, 2013

S is for Something that begins with S
posted by Sys Rq at 7:37 AM on May 22, 2013

S is for spike, and that hurts a lot.
posted by Night_owl at 7:38 AM on May 22, 2013

T is for trite, of which this is not
posted by ook at 7:38 AM on May 22, 2013

U is for umbrella, hard to rhyme
posted by Sophie1 at 7:39 AM on May 22, 2013

V is for slant rhymes, used all the time
posted by ook at 7:39 AM on May 22, 2013

W's tricky, with three syllables.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:40 AM on May 22, 2013

X is for xylophone ... Chicago Bulls
posted by Sys Rq at 7:41 AM on May 22, 2013

Y is for Why, but it comes at the end
posted by Sys Rq at 7:42 AM on May 22, 2013

Z is oh my the most fun way to bend
posted by ook at 7:42 AM on May 22, 2013

Z is for zoinks, we're done my friend!
posted by Night_owl at 7:42 AM on May 22, 2013

Z is Zelda, Scott's drunken friend
posted by third rail at 7:43 AM on May 22, 2013

ZZ's for ZZ, a doubled-up band.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:43 AM on May 22, 2013

A is for argon, we're not done quite yet.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:43 AM on May 22, 2013

Z is for Zebra, stuck in a rut
posted by shothotbot at 7:44 AM on May 22, 2013

B is for boron, the noblest yet.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:44 AM on May 22, 2013

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
posted by Night_owl at 7:44 AM on May 22, 2013

ZZZ is for sleep, or for snoring on land
posted by ook at 7:44 AM on May 22, 2013

C's for correction, my chemistry's wrong.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:44 AM on May 22, 2013

C is for carbon, always right there
posted by Sophie1 at 7:44 AM on May 22, 2013

D is for debacle, this thread has become
posted by shothotbot at 7:45 AM on May 22, 2013

E is for elements, are we doing this?
posted by Sophie1 at 7:45 AM on May 22, 2013

E is for Einsteinium, which doesn't quite scan
posted by Sys Rq at 7:46 AM on May 22, 2013

D is for Deuterium, which tastes like chicken
posted by ook at 7:46 AM on May 22, 2013

F is for Freon, like an element right?
posted by shothotbot at 7:46 AM on May 22, 2013

F is for fluoride which Portland don't got
posted by donnagirl at 7:46 AM on May 22, 2013

C is for chaos, now just hanging out.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:46 AM on May 22, 2013

G is for G-block, containing 18 elements with partially filled g-orbitals in each period
posted by ook at 7:47 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

G is for Germanium, a favorite of Blish.
posted by zarq at 7:47 AM on May 22, 2013

G is for gee, I could use some more Zinc
posted by Sys Rq at 7:47 AM on May 22, 2013

A is absolutely getting us back on track
posted by shothotbot at 7:47 AM on May 22, 2013

Damnit Cortex, you're fucking me up!
posted by Sophie1 at 7:47 AM on May 22, 2013

B is bound to keep us going in order
posted by donnagirl at 7:48 AM on May 22, 2013

H is for here is the letter we're actually on damn it
posted by Sys Rq at 7:48 AM on May 22, 2013

Q is for Chaos, amok in disguise.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:48 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

C is correct for the next letter.
posted by Night_owl at 7:49 AM on May 22, 2013

I think that I would be much better.
posted by ook at 7:49 AM on May 22, 2013

I is for iodine, the goiter repeller
posted by zarq at 7:49 AM on May 22, 2013

J is for just give up and go with it
posted by donnagirl at 7:50 AM on May 22, 2013

K is for Khaos, am I doing this right?
posted by shothotbot at 7:50 AM on May 22, 2013

D's for divisions of alphabet threads.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:50 AM on May 22, 2013

K is for Potassium
posted by Sys Rq at 7:50 AM on May 22, 2013

K is for Potassium... wait, what?
posted by zarq at 7:50 AM on May 22, 2013

L is for look! Parallel alphabets thread!
posted by ook at 7:50 AM on May 22, 2013

L is for letting this go to our heads.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:50 AM on May 22, 2013

L is for Lithium, like from the song
posted by Sys Rq at 7:51 AM on May 22, 2013

L is for lithium to make you feel better.
posted by Night_owl at 7:51 AM on May 22, 2013

E's for emergence of complex behavior.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:51 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

M is for making sense of this mess
posted by donnagirl at 7:51 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

L is for light-headed, just how I feel
posted by shothotbot at 7:51 AM on May 22, 2013

M is for metafilter, I need a bong.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:51 AM on May 22, 2013

M is for Mythium, which does not exist.
posted by ook at 7:51 AM on May 22, 2013

M is for Moli... Molyb... Molymbidinium... Mollybdin....

M is for Magnesium.
posted by zarq at 7:52 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

M is for May 21, the day Metafilter achieved sentience
posted by shothotbot at 7:52 AM on May 22, 2013

F is for freedom from simpler forms.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:52 AM on May 22, 2013

N is for Neon, it lights up the street
posted by Sys Rq at 7:52 AM on May 22, 2013

N is for never regressing to norms.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:52 AM on May 22, 2013

Na is for sodium... Am I doing this right?
posted by Night_owl at 7:53 AM on May 22, 2013

P is for preview, please press
posted by shothotbot at 7:53 AM on May 22, 2013

N is for not getting any work done
posted by donnagirl at 7:53 AM on May 22, 2013

G is for great! Why not mess with the forms?
posted by ook at 7:53 AM on May 22, 2013

Q is for quiet, this thread has less
posted by shothotbot at 7:53 AM on May 22, 2013

G is for going for the parallel thing
posted by donnagirl at 7:53 AM on May 22, 2013

O's for omission, let's reference ourselves!
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:54 AM on May 22, 2013

P is for persevering in the face of great trial
posted by donnagirl at 7:54 AM on May 22, 2013

O is for Oxygen, which apparently you all need more of
posted by Sys Rq at 7:54 AM on May 22, 2013

T is for Treaty of Westphalia, I feel it coming
posted by shothotbot at 7:54 AM on May 22, 2013

H is for happily indentured elves.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:54 AM on May 22, 2013

O is for Oxygen, it's in the air that we breathe.

Some of us are apparently inhaling a purer mix than others....
posted by zarq at 7:54 AM on May 22, 2013

H is for how will these two streams collide
posted by ook at 7:54 AM on May 22, 2013

R is for river, can't step in it twice.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:55 AM on May 22, 2013

P is for phosphorus, so shiny and white.
posted by Night_owl at 7:55 AM on May 22, 2013

SI is some science thing where the two alphabets combine
posted by ook at 7:55 AM on May 22, 2013

S is for sewage, a pool for the mice
posted by Sys Rq at 7:56 AM on May 22, 2013

I's for the elder gods under the ice.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:56 AM on May 22, 2013

Q is for Mistress Quickly. A fine, shapely lass with a firm grasp of... science.
posted by zarq at 7:56 AM on May 22, 2013

T is for trouble a-brewing in here
posted by Sys Rq at 7:57 AM on May 22, 2013

J is Jury, convictions are near.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:57 AM on May 22, 2013

U is for undo this "X is for" stuff
posted by Sys Rq at 7:58 AM on May 22, 2013

K is for Kant's categorical bluff.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:58 AM on May 22, 2013

V is for Vümlaut, the letter with fluff
posted by ook at 7:59 AM on May 22, 2013

L is for leering at VHS snuff.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:59 AM on May 22, 2013

L is for Lenin, rarely seen in the buff
posted by donnagirl at 7:59 AM on May 22, 2013

L is for Lydia's tattooed muff
posted by ook at 8:00 AM on May 22, 2013

W is for what the fuck has become of my life
posted by donnagirl at 8:00 AM on May 22, 2013

W is for well, are we having enough?
posted by ook at 8:00 AM on May 22, 2013

M is for maybe just put down that knife.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:00 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

N is for no it feels good in my hand
posted by donnagirl at 8:01 AM on May 22, 2013

X is for exile for killing a man.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:02 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

O is for oh shit, must write a Larp Trek.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:02 AM on May 22, 2013

Y is for you all keep doing this dreck.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:02 AM on May 22, 2013

P is for patience, we know you'll be back
posted by donnagirl at 8:03 AM on May 22, 2013

P is for parallel alphabet's near end
posted by ook at 8:03 AM on May 22, 2013

R is for Rory, Who Dies Every Day.
posted by zarq at 8:04 AM on May 22, 2013

S is for Story, with no further delay.
posted by box at 8:04 AM on May 22, 2013

T is for Tony, fell from a tower
posted by shothotbot at 8:05 AM on May 22, 2013

U's for umbrella, protection from shower
posted by donnagirl at 8:07 AM on May 22, 2013

U is for Uony, smelling a flower
posted by Sys Rq at 8:07 AM on May 22, 2013

V is for Vanna, who turns all the letters
posted by Sys Rq at 8:07 AM on May 22, 2013

W is for work, got to get on that better
posted by donnagirl at 8:08 AM on May 22, 2013

W is for Wesley, who wears giant sweaters
posted by Sys Rq at 8:08 AM on May 22, 2013

W is for white, name of her betters
posted by shothotbot at 8:08 AM on May 22, 2013

Q is a letter we skipped, now it's better
posted by ook at 8:09 AM on May 22, 2013

Q is for query are we finishing both tracks?
posted by donnagirl at 8:09 AM on May 22, 2013

X is for X'ed Out by C. Monty Burns
posted by Sys Rq at 8:10 AM on May 22, 2013

R is for rawr, dino soundtrack
posted by shothotbot at 8:11 AM on May 22, 2013

Y is for yeah we've got control back
posted by Namlit at 8:14 AM on May 22, 2013

Z is for sure but I'm drunkk
posted by Namlit at 8:14 AM on May 22, 2013

A is for dunk dunk-a dunk
posted by Namlit at 8:15 AM on May 22, 2013

B is for alternative universe
posted by Namlit at 8:15 AM on May 22, 2013

C is for clatter of letter-disperse
posted by Namlit at 8:16 AM on May 22, 2013

C is for crap, you guys are really fucking me up. This thread has been my reference point for the last few days for figuring out how the alphabet works and now I'm gonna have to like wikipedia this shit or something. Damn.
posted by phunniemee at 8:16 AM on May 22, 2013 [2 favorites]

Care Bears don't give a fuck.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:17 AM on May 22, 2013

D is for damn, the reaction is terse
posted by Namlit at 8:17 AM on May 22, 2013

Donkey balls dont either
posted by shothotbot at 8:18 AM on May 22, 2013

E is for equally ob noxious
posted by Namlit at 8:18 AM on May 22, 2013

E.T. gave you the finger
posted by Sys Rq at 8:18 AM on May 22, 2013

F is for fist on the nose
posted by Namlit at 8:18 AM on May 22, 2013

G is for garishly dis figu red
posted by Namlit at 8:19 AM on May 22, 2013

H is for hope you don't mess up the bed
posted by Namlit at 8:19 AM on May 22, 2013

I is for it'd be great if someone captured all the letter orders here once we're done and transform them into tonal values so we can play the thread in order and listen to the world's most complicated atonal arpeggio © all of us oh right this was supposed to rhyme and scan sorry about that
posted by ook at 8:19 AM on May 22, 2013

Gizmo ate your face off after midnight
posted by Sys Rq at 8:20 AM on May 22, 2013

J is for just please go on with the thread
posted by Namlit at 8:20 AM on May 22, 2013

K is for Kan't think of what I was thinking
posted by Namlit at 8:21 AM on May 22, 2013

L is for last beer I'm drinking
posted by Namlit at 8:22 AM on May 22, 2013

Llamas bit my sister once
posted by shothotbot at 8:22 AM on May 22, 2013

L is for leaping rather than sinking
posted by ook at 8:22 AM on May 22, 2013

Mousketeers live in my walls
posted by Sys Rq at 8:23 AM on May 22, 2013

No such beasts exist at alls
posted by Namlit at 8:24 AM on May 22, 2013

Pests do crawl wherever you go
posted by Namlit at 8:25 AM on May 22, 2013

Question is what are you gonna do
posted by Namlit at 8:25 AM on May 22, 2013

Queer that you've forgotten O
posted by Sys Rq at 8:25 AM on May 22, 2013

Oops now its righto
posted by shothotbot at 8:26 AM on May 22, 2013

Right, you see, I actually ought to grade a paper. Just fyi.
posted by Namlit at 8:26 AM on May 22, 2013

So it happens I don't really wanna...
posted by Namlit at 8:26 AM on May 22, 2013

Time to work. Yeah right.
posted by shothotbot at 8:26 AM on May 22, 2013

Unwarranted push
posted by Namlit at 8:27 AM on May 22, 2013

Vile intervention
posted by Namlit at 8:27 AM on May 22, 2013

Wining ensues
posted by Namlit at 8:28 AM on May 22, 2013

Verging on aggressive
posted by Sys Rq at 8:28 AM on May 22, 2013

Xlow, you guys are so xlow!
posted by Namlit at 8:29 AM on May 22, 2013

Yeah, but thorough.
posted by flabdablet at 8:37 AM on May 22, 2013

Zombie-like, rather
posted by Namlit at 8:42 AM on May 22, 2013

Annoying alliterations abound.
posted by Kabanos at 8:51 AM on May 22, 2013

Babbling baboon babies bounce
posted by shothotbot at 8:55 AM on May 22, 2013

Cats can't carry concrete cones!
posted by The Whelk at 8:56 AM on May 22, 2013

Don't dwell on dubious discourse, discreetly disco dance.
posted by greenish at 9:06 AM on May 22, 2013

Eurodisco entertains everyone except everyone else
posted by Sys Rq at 9:10 AM on May 22, 2013

Frankly, five fucking f-words is fine.
posted by shothotbot at 9:11 AM on May 22, 2013

Gads, grandpa, get gone.
posted by Sophie1 at 9:15 AM on May 22, 2013

Han hit hitman headmost. Honestly.
posted by Kabanos at 9:16 AM on May 22, 2013

Holy Hulking Helios! How horrible!
posted by Sophie1 at 9:16 AM on May 22, 2013

Icy Iceland is icy.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:17 AM on May 22, 2013

Jiggling jugglers joggling the part of their anatomy that starts with J.
posted by ook at 9:32 AM on May 22, 2013

Korean kids' kittens kissing kangaroos.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:34 AM on May 22, 2013

Lovely ladies lick luscious lips.
posted by Night_owl at 9:37 AM on May 22, 2013

metatalk masturbation makes many mefis mellow
posted by shothotbot at 9:42 AM on May 22, 2013

Nattering nabobs never need niceties. Nevertheless, none notice neat-o Ney's nature.
posted by Sophie1 at 9:42 AM on May 22, 2013

Ostrich organization overthrows ornithologists.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:46 AM on May 22, 2013

Piddling personal problems propagating pneumatically.
posted by ook at 9:58 AM on May 22, 2013

Quell this querulous quarreling!
posted by greenish at 10:04 AM on May 22, 2013

Really regular rabbits require roughage.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:07 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Trek task totally tamed.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:08 AM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Shit, sibilant section skipped. Sorry!
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:09 AM on May 22, 2013

Uruguayans ululate unrelentingly under unusual umbrellas.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:11 AM on May 22, 2013

Verena veers off into vast ventilation vaults
posted by Namlit at 10:12 AM on May 22, 2013

Wanton wattage wasted on waterplays
posted by Namlit at 10:13 AM on May 22, 2013

X-rayes x times for x-treme xgony
posted by Namlit at 10:14 AM on May 22, 2013

Your yellow yaks yell, "Yo, Yorick!"
posted by Sys Rq at 10:18 AM on May 22, 2013

Z̵̡͢a̴͜ĺ͜҉͏g̴̷̸̀͝ǫ̨҉ zippily zaps Ze's zinjanthropus (comma true facts about the)
posted by ook at 10:24 AM on May 22, 2013

AHHH - onomatopoeia!
posted by The Whelk at 10:25 AM on May 22, 2013

brumblebee
posted by Namlit at 10:26 AM on May 22, 2013

Bash!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:26 AM on May 22, 2013

Crack!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:26 AM on May 22, 2013

Ding-dong!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:27 AM on May 22, 2013

Dunkin' Domumble
posted by Namlit at 10:27 AM on May 22, 2013

Drip
posted by ook at 10:27 AM on May 22, 2013

EEGAH
posted by The Whelk at 10:27 AM on May 22, 2013

fffffft
posted by ook at 10:28 AM on May 22, 2013

Frizzle
posted by Namlit at 10:28 AM on May 22, 2013

gobble
posted by Namlit at 10:29 AM on May 22, 2013

Grumble
posted by Sys Rq at 10:29 AM on May 22, 2013

Hork
posted by Sys Rq at 10:29 AM on May 22, 2013

Idiosyncrasy (believe me, it does make that sound)
posted by Namlit at 10:30 AM on May 22, 2013

Jimmy is saying Jimmy.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:32 AM on May 22, 2013

Kekeke
posted by ook at 10:32 AM on May 22, 2013

Lop!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:33 AM on May 22, 2013

Libido
posted by Namlit at 10:33 AM on May 22, 2013

Mmmmmmuffins
posted by Sys Rq at 10:33 AM on May 22, 2013

Muffled
posted by Namlit at 10:33 AM on May 22, 2013

ook
posted by ook at 10:34 AM on May 22, 2013

noooooooo
posted by ook at 10:34 AM on May 22, 2013

Nope
posted by Namlit at 10:34 AM on May 22, 2013

pop
posted by Namlit at 10:35 AM on May 22, 2013

Piss
posted by Sys Rq at 10:35 AM on May 22, 2013

quench
posted by Namlit at 10:35 AM on May 22, 2013

Quack!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:35 AM on May 22, 2013

ratchet
posted by Namlit at 10:35 AM on May 22, 2013

Sploosh!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:36 AM on May 22, 2013

tribble
posted by ook at 10:36 AM on May 22, 2013

Tick-tock
posted by Sys Rq at 10:36 AM on May 22, 2013

Ululate
posted by Sys Rq at 10:37 AM on May 22, 2013

Vroom!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:37 AM on May 22, 2013

waffle
posted by Namlit at 10:38 AM on May 22, 2013

Whack!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:38 AM on May 22, 2013

XOXOXO
posted by ook at 10:38 AM on May 22, 2013

Yoink!
posted by ook at 10:39 AM on May 22, 2013

Zzzzzzz...
posted by Sys Rq at 10:40 AM on May 22, 2013

And now is the time when we
posted by ook at 10:42 AM on May 22, 2013

Begin again, begin again
posted by Sys Rq at 10:42 AM on May 22, 2013

continuously to continue
posted by ook at 10:43 AM on May 22, 2013

don't ever stop we don't
posted by Namlit at 10:44 AM on May 22, 2013

ever never ever
posted by ook at 10:46 AM on May 22, 2013

felt so low when you gonna take me out of this black hole
posted by yellowbinder at 10:47 AM on May 22, 2013

gonna keep on
posted by Sys Rq at 10:52 AM on May 22, 2013

How to Paint Cats -- search returns not about applying colour to cats, more about creating images of them. Well, I was hoping...
posted by peagood at 10:53 AM on May 22, 2013

Key is sedating the cat
posted by Namlit at 10:55 AM on May 22, 2013

I lost a few here
posted by Namlit at 10:56 AM on May 22, 2013

Just a few
posted by Namlit at 10:56 AM on May 22, 2013

look: they're over there
posted by ook at 10:57 AM on May 22, 2013

Mine. Those are mine.
posted by Kabanos at 10:59 AM on May 22, 2013

Never. OURS theyr'e ours, precious.
posted by Namlit at 11:01 AM on May 22, 2013

Orcs don't taste very good, though
posted by Namlit at 11:02 AM on May 22, 2013

perhaps sautéed with truffle oil
posted by ook at 11:03 AM on May 22, 2013

questionable. Too tough for sautéeing
posted by Namlit at 11:06 AM on May 22, 2013

Rather suited for a stew. Like Peter Mayle's account of the fox stew. Ten liters of red wine, and a week of cooking.
posted by Namlit at 11:07 AM on May 22, 2013

Skinning them is a major task.
posted by Namlit at 11:08 AM on May 22, 2013

Takes steel gloves and a chainsaw
posted by Namlit at 11:09 AM on May 22, 2013

Unavoidably, I've now lost my readership. Take a whisky and you'll be fine again.
posted by Namlit at 11:14 AM on May 22, 2013

VRAK NOT UNDERSTAND
posted by vrakatar at 11:25 AM on May 22, 2013

What, Vrak not grok?
posted by Kabanos at 11:28 AM on May 22, 2013

Xtra-thin tenderized slices of orc, on a bed of grilled free-range warg
posted by ook at 11:31 AM on May 22, 2013

You wouldn't think that would be good, but it's lovely with a nice malbec.
posted by donnagirl at 11:39 AM on May 22, 2013

Zigilgund's local speciality, in fact.
posted by ook at 12:10 PM on May 22, 2013

Absalom, Absalom, Absalom is the sequel to Absalom Absalom and is Faulkner's only foray into romantic comedy.
posted by shothotbot at 12:13 PM on May 22, 2013 [3 favorites]

Brave New New World was a sequel to Brave New World, in which John the Savage turns out to have faked his own death and escaped to a secret first nations colony in the Americas.
posted by ook at 12:36 PM on May 22, 2013 [3 favorites]

Call of the Mild is the story of a pet golden retriever named Buck who is stolen from his owner, sold to a retired but still active couple in Oregon, and forced to spend his remaining years scratching himself, sleeping, and occasionally begging for table scraps.
posted by ook at 12:53 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Dryptonomicon is the hiliarious tale of a plumber's adventures dealing with sanitary problems in the south seas, a codebreaking genius who eventually diagnoses the leak as occurring in Guam, Staffordshire, and a mysterious gentleman named Root whose history and role is poorly explained.
posted by Ahab at 1:09 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Eeekonomics is a collection of articles that investigates the sounds made by little mice, and what causes them. Considered a pop culture look at rodents' oratory skills, it was later made into a documentary movie.
posted by dogwalker at 1:13 PM on May 22, 2013 [2 favorites]

Far Away and Little: A Heuristic Approach To The Phenomona Of Bovine Geography was Fr. Dougal's rejected thesis at NUI Maynooth.
posted by Diablevert at 1:26 PM on May 22, 2013

Fist in Thy Face is a large interview study among Shakespearians about passive aggressiveness and aggressive passivity.
posted by Namlit at 1:27 PM on May 22, 2013

Going to Gondor is a new example of trans-genre fan fiction, where a family of ogres, accompanied by three penguins and a saber tooth tiger ride a Japanese high-speed train through mirkwood on their search for the holy Shawl.
posted by Namlit at 1:28 PM on May 22, 2013

Greatest Gatsby is the graphic novel follow up where a tycoon is sent off in a rocket from the dying economy of the great depression.
posted by jeribus at 1:28 PM on May 22, 2013

Grifty Shades of Fey: A small town succumbs to an effeminate conman's fly-by-night lamp business.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:29 PM on May 22, 2013

The Hound aint Fed - I think the author is Ayn Rant. Something about dogfood, architecture and philosophy
posted by Namlit at 1:31 PM on May 22, 2013

Holy Smokes is a study of the University of Bloomingbun about better alpha-bed skills
posted by Namlit at 1:32 PM on May 22, 2013

iLight - Apple's new novel about vampires
posted by Namlit at 1:33 PM on May 22, 2013

I, Robotz covers

A walrus may not injure a bucket or, through inaction, allow a bucket to come to harm.

A walrus must obey the orders given to it by a bucket, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

A walrus must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
posted by jeribus at 1:34 PM on May 22, 2013

just in time for a grilled slices of hippopotamus butt recipe. You need a concrete floor, a gas torch and a fork truck to turn...
posted by Namlit at 1:36 PM on May 22, 2013

Jonathan Livingston Seagal: A garbage-eating seabird has an urge to grow the bitchingest ponytail ever and kick more terrorist ass than anyone else.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:37 PM on May 22, 2013

Kon-Tikki-Tikki-Tavi recounts the sea voyage of a brave mongoose to a new world of snakes.
posted by jeribus at 1:38 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Lambs of the Silence is a post apocalyptic novel in which a distressed group of juvenile ovines wander the grim dusty roads of Australia looking to be shorn after a psychotic serial killer has eaten all their human friends. It should be kept in special collections to prevent access by minors.
posted by Ahab at 1:50 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Muggles: A History. Hermione Granger's master's thesis
posted by Namlit at 1:58 PM on May 22, 2013

Midsummer Night's Requiem for a Dream. Puck shows up with some serious shit and everyone gets FUCKED UP.
posted by Kabanos at 1:59 PM on May 22, 2013 [3 favorites]

Nobody "rings twice" True facts about package delivery.
posted by Namlit at 2:01 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh Henry! The Collected Works: Peanuts, caramel, and fudge coated with irony.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:08 PM on May 22, 2013

Retching in the Rye. A post-apocalypcitc teenage novel with an emphasis on getting the message out.
posted by Namlit at 2:08 PM on May 22, 2013

Pestilence. What's wrong with me
posted by Namlit at 2:09 PM on May 22, 2013

"Quod erat led to tantrum." I found this article in an obscure database of Gothenshrug Univertisy. It describes the meek average swede's relashionship to their neighbor's lawn mower.
posted by Namlit at 2:11 PM on May 22, 2013

Satisfaction I can get no. From the time Yoda was a songwriter.
posted by Namlit at 2:13 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Return of the King Rat. Lieutenant Gandalf the Grey strives to destroy the Ring of illicit trade in the camp.
posted by Kabanos at 2:27 PM on May 22, 2013

To Kill A Mocking Bird - Atticus Finch defends Edgar Allan Poe from animal cruelty charges.
posted by zamboni at 2:46 PM on May 22, 2013

Under's Game: The enemy's gate is down. No, further than that.
posted by ook at 3:01 PM on May 22, 2013

Veal and Vengeance. Jane Austen's essay on vegetarianism.
posted by Namlit at 3:02 PM on May 22, 2013

Wuthering High: Will teenage cheerleader Catherine finally hook up with heartthrob quarterback Heath Cliff? Find out in the next very special episode!
posted by ook at 3:04 PM on May 22, 2013

Will in the windows, The. Dorothy Sayer's unpublished toad mystery
posted by Namlit at 3:06 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

xyclops hugged. A mono-optic romance
posted by Namlit at 3:07 PM on May 22, 2013

You Only Live Three Times: direct-to-video sequel focusing on Blofeld's cat
posted by ook at 3:15 PM on May 22, 2013

Zzz: A Novel Of Zelda Fitzgerald Having A Nap
posted by ook at 3:17 PM on May 22, 2013

Alphabet Games: in a dystopian future, the totalitarian nation of Panem is divided between 26 districts and the Capitol. Each year, two young representatives of each district are selected by lottery to participate in a brutal, cutthroat spelling bee
posted by ook at 3:17 PM on May 22, 2013

Beta or For Worse: longrunning comic strip about a family of software testers...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:27 PM on May 22, 2013

Cinderella Rockafella: a Grimm attempt to explain trickle-down economics
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:30 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Doctor WTF: longrunning British TV series depicting hilarious surgical errors
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:34 PM on May 22, 2013

Everybody Loves Rainbow Brite: about the dysfunctional family of a magical Color Kid.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:37 PM on May 22, 2013

Fringe On Top: in which multiple universes are discovered within a surrey parked in Oklahoma.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:38 PM on May 22, 2013 [2 favorites]

Going to hit 3000 soon, and if I have to do it alone... well, it'll make up for being asleep most of the last 22 hours...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:39 PM on May 22, 2013

Gangnam Abbey - when the skeleton in the closet started to dance
posted by Namlit at 3:40 PM on May 22, 2013

How I Met Your Mothra: The neverending story of finding love in on Japanese horror movie sets
posted by donnagirl at 3:43 PM on May 22, 2013

I Love Lucifer - hijinks ensue when a Cuban band leader falls for the Prince of Darkness
posted by donnagirl at 3:44 PM on May 22, 2013

Jello for the Spiderman (a song)
posted by Namlit at 3:47 PM on May 22, 2013

Keeping up with the Cardassians - space exploits of some tacky young things from the Alpha Quadrant
posted by donnagirl at 3:50 PM on May 22, 2013

Lovely Bones, The: the touching tale of a really truly attractive skeleton
posted by ook at 3:57 PM on May 22, 2013

Mad Menace: a delightful single-panel comic strip about an aspiring young tap-dancer, set in 1950's NYC.
posted by iamkimiam at 4:06 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

No skeletons on the tin roof (the cat learned to play the harpsichord)
posted by Namlit at 4:25 PM on May 22, 2013

Odie Giovanni. An opera about a dog that can sing.
posted by Namlit at 4:29 PM on May 22, 2013

Prost. A TV show about a bunch of strangers who get dropped on a German Beer island.
posted by Namlit at 4:30 PM on May 22, 2013

Quasilolo. Nobody can quite tell what that was about.
posted by Namlit at 4:31 PM on May 22, 2013

Rye in the Catcher: The autobiography of Lew Brown
posted by Sys Rq at 4:33 PM on May 22, 2013

Shoelisses (Irish spelling for shoe laces)
posted by Namlit at 4:36 PM on May 22, 2013

Singin' in the Reign of Terror: Goofy tapdances with guillotines as props
posted by third rail at 4:36 PM on May 22, 2013

The big Jeep: Humphrey B. getting lost in another inexplicable plot.
posted by Namlit at 4:37 PM on May 22, 2013

Unger the Boardwalk: An uptight neat-freak lets people walk all over him.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:42 PM on May 22, 2013

Vile unfair Lady. Language oriented slasher drama
posted by Namlit at 4:43 PM on May 22, 2013

When the chimney sweep leaves lice. (not sure what to do about it)
posted by Namlit at 4:46 PM on May 22, 2013

xcuse me, that was a little surrealistic.
posted by Namlit at 4:47 PM on May 22, 2013

Y84Q1: a young woman follows a taxi driver's enigmatic advice and is thoroughly confused for the next seven hundred pages
posted by ook at 5:01 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zen and the art of galley repair. When slavery got woo woo
posted by Namlit at 5:09 PM on May 22, 2013

And Another Thing, rants about the gold standard from your uncle.
posted by shothotbot at 5:29 PM on May 22, 2013

But we really should do recipes now. I had Buns of lamB today. Like meatBalls. Ingredients: an egg, some BreadcrumBs (self-grated a few days ago), a taBlespoon of milk, freshly pressed fresh garlic, herBes de provance, a good taBlespoon full of French chestnut puree of which I still had half a jar in the fridge, salt pepper, and minced lamB. Mixity mix. Bunnity shape. The Black Frier with olive oil. Sizzlity sizz. Done.
posted by Namlit at 6:08 PM on May 22, 2013

Crab stuffed krab with carbs and crispy crabapples.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:18 PM on May 22, 2013

Duck and daikon daquiris
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:19 PM on May 22, 2013

Enchilasagna... word of my invention, basically a stacked enchilada done quick & dirty.

Dip corn tortillas in enchilada sauce (I prefer green), and put into a microwavable bowl big enough for them, with your choice of inbetween layers like a crazy 7-layer dip...
Cheese
Salsa
Meat (ground beef, shredded beef, chicken, whatever)
Refried Beans
Chili Beans
Sour Cream
Guacamole
Diced Peppers, Onions or Olives (best mixed with salsa or sour cream)
Go nuts! (No, no nuts)

And since it's in a microwavable bowl, cook it by microwaving (one minute per tortilla)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:20 PM on May 22, 2013

Forgot one thing... on top of the top tortilla put both salsa and shredded cheese... because ... salsa and cheese!

and yes, I'm talking about 6-9 tortillas with 6-9 layers of other stuff! that's why a microwavable bowl and not a plate
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:21 PM on May 22, 2013

Grilled groats with grated grapes.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:26 PM on May 22, 2013

Hungary as I am, I'm still ordering this Togo.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:29 PM on May 22, 2013

Idaho potatoes? I dunno.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:32 PM on May 22, 2013

Japancakes.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:36 PM on May 22, 2013

Kuwaiter, there's a fly in my soup.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:38 PM on May 22, 2013

Libya, Libya, Libya on the label, label, label, you will like it, like it, like it on your table.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:39 PM on May 22, 2013

Malta liquor.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:40 PM on May 22, 2013

Now that I think of it, there are plenty of other things you can put on a tortilla.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:55 PM on May 22, 2013

Other things that you can put in a tortilla: Everything.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 7:07 PM on May 22, 2013

Pronounce GIF like JIF? Only because Mr. Wilhite is trying to sell Hollywood a script for "Jraphical Park".
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:09 PM on May 22, 2013

QIF is pronounced "kif", which is pronounced "keef".
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:12 PM on May 22, 2013

Really? Some people are upset that the Human Torch of the Fantastic Four is now black? He should've been black since the first time his fire went out. Charred.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:13 PM on May 22, 2013

Superman wasn't black, but he initially suffered discrimination because he immigrated from the planet Krypton. Until he started burning up buildings with his heat vision, and earthlings quickly passed some comprehensive immigration reforms.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:16 PM on May 22, 2013

The correct pronunciation of QWERTY is really Francis Twisleton - ffoulkes.
posted by arcticseal at 7:18 PM on May 22, 2013

USPS is pronounced with an US, while UPS is all OOPS.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:19 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Vegan is pronounced "vee-gan", while "began" is pronounced completely differently. This confuses my spanish speaking friends.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:27 PM on May 22, 2013

Whore has a silent W, which is weird.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:29 PM on May 22, 2013

X is pronounced "eks", so it should really start with an "e".
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:39 PM on May 22, 2013

You know what is confusing about English pronunciation for this Spanish speaker? Everything.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 7:58 PM on May 22, 2013

Zed is a confusing pronunciation for z.
posted by donnagirl at 8:00 PM on May 22, 2013

AJAX is pronounced "you still using that old sh*t?!?"
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:05 PM on May 22, 2013

Bed is a confusing pronunciation for b.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:07 PM on May 22, 2013

Come on, Zed is perfectly acceptable in Canada.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:10 PM on May 22, 2013

Dead is pronounced 'ded', unless you are.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:12 PM on May 22, 2013

Ed is pronounced "A horse is a horse, of course, of course..."
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:12 PM on May 22, 2013

Fed is pronounced "Ron Paul."
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:15 PM on May 22, 2013

GED is pronounced "alternative high school diploma".
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:16 PM on May 22, 2013

GED is pronounced "so you never went to the prom"
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:16 PM on May 22, 2013

Head is pronounced "Monkees."
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:17 PM on May 22, 2013

IED is an inter uterine device.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:17 PM on May 22, 2013

Head
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:17 PM on May 22, 2013

Jed, come and listen to a story 'bout a man named...
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:18 PM on May 22, 2013

Ked is some kind of Bostonian word, I keep reading.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:19 PM on May 22, 2013

Ked is one of two shoes.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:19 PM on May 22, 2013

Lead, because somebody beat me to Keds
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:19 PM on May 22, 2013

Led by the nose on that one.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:20 PM on May 22, 2013

Med. Is one of the medications I forgot to take.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:20 PM on May 22, 2013

Med school would have been expensive.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:20 PM on May 22, 2013

OED is not a defined term.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:21 PM on May 22, 2013

Ned is pronounced "decapitation."
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:22 PM on May 22, 2013

SPOILER, Rustic Etruscan!
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:23 PM on May 22, 2013

Ped xing.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:23 PM on May 22, 2013

QED.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:23 PM on May 22, 2013

RED.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:24 PM on May 22, 2013

Oh, it's three seasons in by now, oneswellfoop.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:24 PM on May 22, 2013

Red. I'm seeing it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:24 PM on May 22, 2013

Said, that's what she...
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:25 PM on May 22, 2013

Sed. That's what she sed.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:25 PM on May 22, 2013

Ted Danson.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:25 PM on May 22, 2013

TED talk. Talk. Talk.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:26 PM on May 22, 2013

UED is an unimprovised explosive device.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:26 PM on May 22, 2013

Unwed teenage mothers make the baby Jesus say, "Hi Mommy!"
posted by Sys Rq at 8:27 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

very oddly, Ted Danson has never done a TED Talk.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:27 PM on May 22, 2013

Wed teenage mothers are just as scary.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:28 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Wed Redding, guys!
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:28 PM on May 22, 2013

Xed Out by Charles Burns
posted by Sys Rq at 8:29 PM on May 22, 2013

Yed: When I'm using Japanese money and I have a cold.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:30 PM on May 22, 2013

Z
posted by Sys Rq at 8:30 PM on May 22, 2013

Zero sum answers from now on, people.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:30 PM on May 22, 2013

ZED!
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:30 PM on May 22, 2013

Americans always mispronounce that one.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:31 PM on May 22, 2013

Baghdad is often mispronounced for a Bad Gag.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:32 PM on May 22, 2013

Canada is NOT pronounced with an "Eh?"
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:32 PM on May 22, 2013

Dallas is (surprisingly) not pronounced like 'dollars'
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:41 PM on May 22, 2013

Eh?
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:47 PM on May 22, 2013

Feenix Arizona
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:52 PM on May 22, 2013

Geography is apparently not our favorite subject. How about Geology? What's you favorite rock starting with H?
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:53 PM on May 22, 2013

Hard rock
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:54 PM on May 22, 2013

Igneous and the Stooges
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:55 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Jasper Johns.
posted by box at 8:57 PM on May 22, 2013

Kebabs
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:59 PM on May 22, 2013

Lost the topic, someone clarify: rocks? places? freeform go nuts?
posted by donnagirl at 9:02 PM on May 22, 2013

Metallica. Metal is a rock, right? If you disagree, take it to MetaMetalliTalk.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:03 PM on May 22, 2013

Nuts. Freeform nuts. Go commando.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:05 PM on May 22, 2013

On another topic, I hear the weather is supposed to be nice. I'm going to wear my shorts.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:06 PM on May 22, 2013

People point at the sign that says "no shirt, no shoes, no service" so I put on my shoes. But not my shorts, because that wasn't on the sign.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:08 PM on May 22, 2013

Quartz crystal meth is a reliable high. You can set your watch by it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:11 PM on May 22, 2013

Reliable isn't always what I'm looking for in a high.
posted by donnagirl at 9:12 PM on May 22, 2013

Raclet is full of cheesy goodness, though not technically made of rocks.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:12 PM on May 22, 2013

Surprise highs are the best. Everything just seems normal, then all the sudden you're like "whoa, somehow I'm high!"
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:14 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Totally, but I was thinking more of "wow, so this is the kind of high I'm going to be".
posted by donnagirl at 9:16 PM on May 22, 2013

Understand, that's all strictly hypothetical and things my friends told me once.
posted by donnagirl at 9:17 PM on May 22, 2013

Various times when I mix MDA and LSD and THC I experience a strong TSA high, which gives me an overwhelming compulsion to search people's luggage.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:19 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

When I take MDA, I just feel like one of Jerry's Kids, not a good thing.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:26 PM on May 22, 2013

X-stasy always gets me high. I don't mean the drug, I mean actual ecstasy.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:31 PM on May 22, 2013

Yerba mate is best consumed from a metal straw immersed in a gourd. On cocaine.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:33 PM on May 22, 2013

Zippity doo dah, zippity ay! My oh my, what an MDMA!
posted by Sys Rq at 9:34 PM on May 22, 2013

Argh! You just ruined what would have been an excellent Zoloft gag.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:35 PM on May 22, 2013

Anyone can do drugs. Improv is MY high!
posted by booksherpa at 9:35 PM on May 22, 2013

Better not tell anyone. They'll make it illegal.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:36 PM on May 22, 2013

Comedy IS illegal in several counties in Florida.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:40 PM on May 22, 2013

Drugs are just something I need to find Jesus, my Mexican drug dealer.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:40 PM on May 22, 2013

Eveready 9-volt, straight to the tongue.
posted by box at 9:41 PM on May 22, 2013

Forceps applied directly to the scrotum.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:42 PM on May 22, 2013

Gag on this, Thoughtsy.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:43 PM on May 22, 2013

Heroin is very popular in Seattle. In its honor the city has constructed a giant Needle.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:46 PM on May 22, 2013

In my day, if you wanted to get high, your only option was to climb a hill. There was no sun. We ate gravel. We drank sand. Every day it rained sharp sticks.

You kids don't know how good you have it now.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:10 PM on May 22, 2013

Just wanted to add that that was also uphill. Both ways!
posted by dg at 10:12 PM on May 22, 2013

Keep going. Because it always IS uphill both ways.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:14 PM on May 22, 2013

Life, that is.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:14 PM on May 22, 2013

Myriad kinetic iridescent corpuscular anemones extruding azure effluvia. Metaphorical mandalas meditating on meandering mind-waves, the succulent orb of indecipherable exuberance.

"Take another hit off the bong," he says. But that doesn't seem important now. I have better things to do.

"Listen, really listen," I say. "If you listen very closely, you can hear the Earth breathing. You can hear the transfer of oxygen and carbon as the day moves into night."

"No, I think that's the toilet running. I've been meaning to get that fixed."

"It's not the toilet. There an inhalation and an exhalation as the Earth revolves around its axis. In the morning, as the sun strikes our part of the planet, there is a great exhalation, a magnificent outpouring of early-morning energy, coming from the plant life, which perfectly complements our human need to take in that energy, so we, as mobile animals can bind the space and time around this terrestrial oasis."

"Uh, OK, whatever. Maybe we can have that fixed."
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:15 PM on May 22, 2013

No, I think it's the toilet. Occam's razor etc.
posted by dg at 10:24 PM on May 22, 2013

Occam's razor cut my coke.
posted by donnagirl at 10:27 PM on May 22, 2013

Phasers on stun. I bet some of the boys down in engineering used to set them on stun and shoot each other, just for kicks. It was a five year mission, and not much else to do for fun.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:30 PM on May 22, 2013

Quickies in the turbolift, maybe.
posted by donnagirl at 10:33 PM on May 22, 2013

Romulans know how to throw a party.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:33 PM on May 22, 2013

So.... I found a place for the next Very Special Brooklyn Meetup....
posted by zarq at 10:34 PM on May 22, 2013

Too bad I'm not eligible.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:36 PM on May 22, 2013

Ugh, boyzone.
posted by donnagirl at 10:37 PM on May 22, 2013

Vulcans throw the worst parties. C'mon... logic puzzles again?
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:37 PM on May 22, 2013

When did we play logic puzzles?
posted by donnagirl at 10:39 PM on May 22, 2013

X out that comment i forgot the alphabet
posted by donnagirl at 10:40 PM on May 22, 2013

Xerography
posted by Sys Rq at 10:41 PM on May 22, 2013

You start the logic puzzles, I'll catch up.
posted by donnagirl at 10:42 PM on May 22, 2013

Zenoes' para'doxen. Recursion acceptable.
posted by infinite intimation at 10:45 PM on May 22, 2013

A and B arrive at a crossroads. To the left, there is C, who always tells the truth. To the right, there is D, who always lies. You want to meet up with E and F, who are themselves stuck at another crossroads with G and H, trying to talk to I and J. The puzzle is this, if you have to send a message to K and L, expressed using only the symbols M, N, O, and P, then where should you have lunch?
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:46 PM on May 22, 2013

Burger King.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:50 PM on May 22, 2013

Continuum hypothesis. Still a hypothesis, as far as I'm concerned, until scientific experimentation proves otherwise.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:50 PM on May 22, 2013

Doppleganger always seemed like a unique word to me, until I found another word just like it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:52 PM on May 22, 2013

Ever thought about the hierarchy of fast food royalty? There's Burger King, then Dairy Queen. Lower down there's Jack in a Box. Below that, there's Peasant Burger, but maybe that's just a local chain.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:56 PM on May 22, 2013

Fast Food by the cards? In-N-Out used to be called Ten-N-Out, I think.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:01 PM on May 22, 2013

Got to hope there's more of these. I think that 7-11's were called 11-7's until they perfected the formula, the right mix.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:06 PM on May 22, 2013

Have you heard of White Castle? Maybe that's where the fast food royalty lives.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:07 PM on May 22, 2013

Including those military dictators like Colonel Sanders?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:11 PM on May 22, 2013

Just don't know if Mayor McCheese counts as royalty. I think that is an elected office, though I don't remember voting for him.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:12 PM on May 22, 2013

Kinda think that Colonel Sanders was under the direct command of General Foods. Not sure.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:14 PM on May 22, 2013

Long John Silver isn't a part of that establishment. A pirate. A renegade. Whitefish.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:31 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Maybe I'm just a stickler for details, but I don't believe the claim that Arctic Circle invented the kid's meal. Because there just aren't that many kids around the arctic circle. Either that, or they're lying about their name.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:39 PM on May 22, 2013

Nachos were invented by Ignacio Anaya. That's why they're called "nachos"; it's a version of "Ignacio".

I bet you didn't know that. You learn something new every day at Metafilter, don't you?

But there aren't any fast-food drive-through nacho places. Why not? It's mystery. Why can I get a burger or some chicken at a drive-thru place, but I can't get nachos? Or pizza slices?

Think about it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:51 PM on May 22, 2013

Oh, but Taco Bell has nachos on the menu at their drive-thru... and the 'combination Pizza Hut & Taco Bell' may not have single pizza slices, but they do have mini-pizzas. But I prefer Del Taco for just about everything on the fast-food-taco menu, PLUS they have burgers, fries and chili fries. "Doritos Tacos" can't come close. And my local Costco has a drive-up window at their 'fast food court', primarily for handing off full pizzas but you can nag them for a single slice.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:05 AM on May 23, 2013

Put down that taco and meditate on this important trivia question. Why is Taco Bell called "Taco Bell"? I give you a hint; the founder was not Glen Taco.

This just proves that Americans are the strongest people on the planet, making all other nations bow to our mighty prowess at providing food fast.

Certainly among the dying embers of the British Empire there is no equal to Taco Bell, a truly American food. Over there they have burgers that are Wimpy. They have fish and chips, but don't fully understand that chips should be called "fries" and served with ketchup.

Truly America is the guiding light of all foods fast-worthy, and all other nations should move to the back of the line.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:16 AM on May 23, 2013

Quit with the American fast food triumphalism already. I believe the humble pierogi is actually a great fast food item and its day will come. I will welcome that red dawn.
posted by Area Man at 1:27 AM on May 23, 2013

Red Robin is a weird restaurant. When I was younger I was not very impressed by it, but as I get older, I'm still not very impressed by it, but I don't think it's actively gross anymore – just adequate.

In conclusion, Red Robin is a land of contrasts.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 1:33 AM on May 23, 2013

So.... anyone fancy the next line game? We could write the Next Great Transcontinental Novel.
posted by greenish at 2:16 AM on May 23, 2013

That needs to be explained...
posted by Namlit at 2:45 AM on May 23, 2013

Unbelievably slow, how this thread is loading. We're about to break the internets
posted by Namlit at 2:45 AM on May 23, 2013

Very easy - storytelling, but each person leaves a cliffhanger for the next to pick up
posted by greenish at 3:09 AM on May 23, 2013

Would we have to play the alphabet game simultaneously?
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:22 AM on May 23, 2013

When Göran Hasselkvist opened his kitchen window last Friday, the firs thing he saw was a shoe. It peeped around the corner of the shed. A foot was stuck in it, and it didn't move.
Used to his habits, he nevertheless first charged and started his Moka pot on the stove, hitched up his jeans. Took a swig of Pellegrino and slowly went to the door. The cat made a show of impatience, but this time, he closed the door into her indignant little face.
Göran rounded the corner of the house and Hey don't Post while I'm Writing!
posted by Namlit at 3:23 AM on May 23, 2013

Xylophones are Right Out, I can tell you that.
posted by Dr Dracator at 3:23 AM on May 23, 2013

You're not the boss of me.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:24 AM on May 23, 2013

Y'm fed up with xylophones, said Göran, why did I ever bring them up
posted by Namlit at 3:24 AM on May 23, 2013

Zippy's Burgers: The failed attempt to extend the brand of the well-loved but still obscure comic strip.
posted by jeremias at 3:52 AM on May 23, 2013

at once saw why the foot wasn't moving: it was attached to a leg that ended in a bloody stump just above the knee. There was no sign of the rest of its owner.

Shit, he said. Another one. That's all I fucking need.
posted by flabdablet at 4:07 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

But first things first: he turned around and vomited luxuriously into the forsythia that stood, in full bloom, before the shed. Straightening up, still retching, he felt more than saw a movement in the periphery of his vision.
posted by Namlit at 4:32 AM on May 23, 2013

Cursing, he turned and squinted. "Dammit!" he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. A fat Basset Hound waddled into view, nose to the ground, sniffing away. Dammit was its name, and wherever that slobbering beast was, it meant that SHE wouldn't be far behind...usually at the end of the leash...
posted by peagood at 4:50 AM on May 23, 2013

Dammit began investigating the forsythia, unable to resist the smell. The long shadow of Elspeth, a dominatrix I used to date, fell over me.
posted by jeremias at 5:16 AM on May 23, 2013

"Elspeth, you dropped your shadow again," I said. "You've got to be more careful with that thing, someone's going to get hurt one of these days."
posted by ook at 5:26 AM on May 23, 2013

Flicking her crop absently she said nothing but continued to stare at the spectacle unfolding just out of my vision.
posted by shothotbot at 5:33 AM on May 23, 2013

Fast now, Dammit turned his attention to the lone leg on the lawn. Elspeth, meanwhile, was not answering, as she still had to deal with the aftermath of a too large bite of her peanut butter sandwich, which she absurdly had taken with her on her dog promenade. Göran dashed after the dog. What are you doing here anyway. And you, he snarled furiously, turing to the mumbling Elspeth, help me find a spade. We don't need this to lie about here on the grass
posted by Namlit at 5:34 AM on May 23, 2013

"Great God in Heaven!", ejaculated Goran when he spied the peanut butter upon Elspeth's chin.

Elspeth burped.

Dammit looked up.
posted by h00py at 5:54 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Harsh sounds came out of his throat. Then he collapsed, an arrow stuck through his bulging body down to its shaft. While Göran dived for cover, Espeth's shadow jumped and she finally regained speech, showering the lone severed leg on the grass with peanut butter. "What in the world is going on here? Who's leg is that? Why is my dog dead? Where is the shooter?" - All questions our dear readers also have asked themselves for a while.
Another arrow whizzed past her head but missed.
posted by Namlit at 6:10 AM on May 23, 2013

Just in time, however, Göran remembered his moca pot and dashed inside the house before the third arrow struck the facade where he just had passed. The pot was hissing and dancing on the red plate. He cursed, took a towel, and removed it from the heat. Outside he could hear the gurgling end of Elspeth. He went to bolt the door. Then, finally, he called the cops. His cat made purring noises and licked some peanut butter off his jeans.
posted by Namlit at 6:14 AM on May 23, 2013

It had been launched by the evil Smeldicott, who despised peanut butter in all its forms. "YOU SHALL RUE THE DAY YOU BROUGHT YOUR EVIL INTO MY WORLD!", he spluttered. He killed the cat and stared at Goran balefully.
posted by h00py at 6:15 AM on May 23, 2013

Krap, how did you come indoors, Göran wheezed.
posted by Namlit at 6:16 AM on May 23, 2013

Longingly, Smeldicott pawed at the window and continued to shoot mind rays into the interior of the cunningly locked but still vulnerable house.
posted by h00py at 6:18 AM on May 23, 2013

Meanwhile the cat, banking on eight lives left, vanished, an indignant fur ball, upstairs. You should post a pic of that thing on MetaFilter one day, Smeldicott told Göran, fitting another arrow in his bow. Göran saw that the point was honed and gleaming in the sun. Now come out, said Smeldicott, we've got to talk. Can't do that when the cops arrive, so we'd better go.
posted by Namlit at 6:23 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Not right now!" shouted Göran through the door. "I need to caffeinate before I go anywhere, you know that, Smeldicott!"

A sinuous tentacle quietly unwrapped itself from the severed end of the leg, and began feeling its way through the grass.
posted by ook at 6:50 AM on May 23, 2013

On the opposite end of the lawn, Frodo, whom we haven't seen yet, backed away. Déja vu, he mumbled, while the tentacle haltingly, but insistently, wriggled its way toward him.
posted by Namlit at 7:22 AM on May 23, 2013

Presently, the in-ground sprinkler system turned on, and everyone was covered in a wet warm mist.
posted by Kabanos at 7:24 AM on May 23, 2013

Questioning the quality of the last batch of micro-roasted high-end coffee, meanwhile, Göran inside the house planned his escape, while the arrow, through a crack in the window, was pointed straight at him. The only way was to produce a joke so hilarious that Smeldicott completely lost it. Then, there would be a dash at the basement door. And then: a tunnel...
posted by Namlit at 7:27 AM on May 23, 2013

"Really, now," reflected Smeldicott, "am I trying to shoot him or am I trying to talk to him? I seem to be oddly conflicted on that point." Göran often had that effect on people. Particularly Smeldicott. Particularly when Smeldicott was armed. Which was most of the time.

The tentacle reached and probed silently, glistening with sprinkler mist and eldritch ooze.
posted by ook at 7:55 AM on May 23, 2013

Scanning the room, Göran found a stack of hastily scribbled notes. Squinting to see through the rings his coffee cups had left on them, he saw only punchlines -- but no set-ups for the jokes.
posted by peagood at 7:58 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

That Sheep Lies!
Smart Pills > Rabbit Pellets
Face like Sr. Wences' fist
Ghost/Goat
Wife, brother, monkey, crash, Monkey Driving
Jesus/Pinocchio
Wendy/Welcome to Jamaica
Sheep/I wish it was dark
Death or Bungee
I was talking to the duck!
More fun than watching a monkey try to fuck a coconut
More ducks on that side
It's your wife's handwriting
10-inch dick & hangs up
Bear: You don't come here just to hunt, do you
George Bush/Snapping Turtle
Talking golf ball more amusing
Genie, 3 wishes, visit to vet
Read my lips: bring a posse!
Priest, Minister, Rabbi; last wish, fork, Fuck your boat!
Last time you didn't have holes in your feet.
I'm going to have to numm those
Duck hunter license for each state - cop's fingers up duck's ass
Indian names, tepee, soaring eagle, running deer, 2 dogs fucking
polish joke, bar, tell it six times
nice tits, where do you want these blinds
a round of drinks, no thanks, blew chunks
lorena bobbitt dead in crash, some dick cut her off
goddam fish, love this fucking place
Brick the camel
Designated decoy
posted by Kabanos at 8:00 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Uh oh," Göran whispered. "This is going to be impossible to google. If only there were some other way to find out the jokes to these punchlines..."
posted by ook at 8:10 AM on May 23, 2013

Vastly running out of time, and coffee, however, he decided not to do the obvious and go to the Green to find out the answers. Instead he decided ad-libbing a punch line by himself. The mug flew out of the window and hit Smeldicott square over his nose, introducing a fleeting crunching noise into this story. The arrow flew wide.
Göran dashed for the basement door, and with a cloud of dust and old coffee grinds from the unsweeped floor, he was gone. Panting through his escape tunnel, behind a securely bolted steel door, he tried to puzzle the dissociate ingredients of his breakfast hour together.
First, of course, the presence of Smeldicott, who was supposed to be thousand miles away at this time, playing piano recitals in Australia. What was he even doing here, at this early hour, and waving archaic weaponry? Why would he shoot a poor dog with an unfortunate name? Or anyone else, for that matter? What was the severed leg about? Why (he realized now) was it stuck into a nineteen seventies style tennis shoe? Was it David Niven's leg?
As he reached this point of his research, Göran put his foot into something soft and yielding.
posted by Namlit at 8:50 AM on May 23, 2013

Göran wondered how a bowl of chocolate pudding had found it's way into the tunnel.
posted by arcticseal at 9:13 AM on May 23, 2013

Wondering briefly whether his narrators had forgotten the alphabetical nature of his story, Göran shook himself and considered whether he had perhaps put too much lime in his coconut the night before.

He removed his foot from the chocolate pudding and sniffed some of the dark goo suspiciously, weighing up the likelihood of it being another one of Smeldicott's crude traps versus his own forgetfulness and history of carelessness when it came to dessert storage.

He crept further along the tunnel, listening carefully for any sounds of the crazed piano genius entering the house, and wondering what had happened to the rest of David Niven, or whoever's leg it was.
posted by greenish at 9:18 AM on May 23, 2013 [4 favorites]

X marks the spot! He found the the X-shaped door that he had cleverly marked with symbol of Jesus H. Christ.
posted by Kabanos at 9:20 AM on May 23, 2013

Yet, as he went to open the door, he paused. In the far distance, he heard a rumbling, growing closer, closer…
posted by Elementary Penguin at 9:24 AM on May 23, 2013

Zut alors! Dammit, Elspeth, Frodo, Göran, Smeldicott, the severed leg and the tentacle all joined appendages and sang "Oh, what a beautiful morning!" as the mist rained gently down on the ghastly scene.
posted by jeremias at 9:30 AM on May 23, 2013

And they all lived happily ever after.
posted by ook at 9:31 AM on May 23, 2013

But wait -- no! I was wrong! Because, shockingly,
posted by ook at 9:32 AM on May 23, 2013

Cumberbatch was approaching the scene in a deerstalker. That could only mean that there were still unsolved factors, and he had a look about him that suggested he wasn't prepared to let them go unexplained.
posted by greenish at 9:39 AM on May 23, 2013

Dear Göran! He hadn't expected that. Raining mist (probably acid and bad for the trees), a medley of dissociated unexplained items and actors, and now this! Not enough that his girlfriend (whom we haven't met) was spending nights drooling over her iPad, in obvious need of a Cumberbatch Patch to ease the pain. Here stood the man in true flesh (as far as that goes) trying to solve the Mystery of the Rest of Niven, and related things.
To add injury to agony, Cumberbatch now slowly pulled his hand out of his deep, and tailored, pocket...
posted by Namlit at 10:17 AM on May 23, 2013

Ellipsis! How one that long could fit in Cumberbatch's kurta pocket could not explain that day, or at the trial.
posted by shothotbot at 10:21 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Flash Forward 7 years. After the trial, Cumberbatch and Elspeth unexpectedly found themselves in love and had a child. The 6 year old was predictably precocious and one night asked his father the following: "Papa, tell me the one about the long ellipsis and the chocolate pudding again?"
posted by jeremias at 10:36 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Göran was a man of few words other than curses," said Cumberbatch "and he smelled like burnt coffee and wet dog...but he had one great quality, and it was..."
posted by peagood at 10:39 AM on May 23, 2013

"... having good luck... But this why we pay Morgan Freeman to be our narrator, so shut up now and listen!"

Luckily for Göran and the Gang (as they'd later be identified on their debut album) the Ellipsis stalled, giving Göran the opportunity to fire off his umlauts. One grazed Cumberbatch's ear, the other pierced his deerstalker, which made someone think of Christopher Walken. Goran was relieved, but felt strangely emasculated.
posted by Kabanos at 10:50 AM on May 23, 2013

Inexplicably, the dismembered leg went unremembered until a David Niven film festival where it was discovered to actually be a skillfully designed prop from a J.J. Abrams movie (the only one he'd done in recent years that was not part of a franchise with 'Star' in the name) and one of 13 identical legs based on the lower right appendage of David Lindelof, resolving multiple hanging plot threads in this and other mysteries.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:08 AM on May 23, 2013

J.J. himself only possessed two of the legs (but since they were all right legs, that was silly) while the others were scattered all over the world as part of a promotional scavenger hunt for the movie and Taco Bell's latest menu item, the first to contain peanut butter. And Göran was blissfully unaware at the head start it gave him in the competition, since he already had Item #7 on the list, umlauts.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:14 AM on May 23, 2013

Kneeling in front of the Del Taco drive-thru, Goran found the leg and his umlauts swiftly confiscated by the Shift Manager, wearing the traditional paper hat and quoting an oddly-hued character from an obscure webcomic: "I'm going to give Bravo back to you. Then I'm going to tell you everything I know about Quebec."
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:20 AM on May 23, 2013

Luckily Göran knew where JJ Abrams stored his legs. They were easy to find by the lens flare on the box.
posted by arcticseal at 11:37 AM on May 23, 2013

Making a call to his agent in Stockholm a still umlautless Goran set his plan in motion. Through a series of sham corporations in exotic locals, via lawyers with three thousand dollar suits and no scruples, lubricated by the untraceable wealth of the hawala network and coordinated by Cockney rhyming slang as articulated by Navajo code talkers the pieces began to come into place.
posted by shothotbot at 11:42 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Now the Shift Manager's actions began to make sense. His advice bounced around in Goran's head like a fart in a mitten: "Quebec Language Laws. You can't just go waltzing in there with your umlauts hanging out, they'll lock you up right away. Trust me, I worked at Toque aux Belles in Montreal during the riots."
posted by Kabanos at 11:47 AM on May 23, 2013

On cue, almost too late finally Martin Freeman rushed onto the scene.
posted by Namlit at 11:50 AM on May 23, 2013

Pushing aside Martin Freeman and recovering his umlauts (along with a breve he found lying on the floor), Görăn still lacked one clue to the ongoing mystery: why peanut butter? Why not Nutella? He did not realize the irrational nature of Nutella's legal department, nor the fact that the brand of peanut butter was Jif, meaning... IT WAS ANIMATED.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:53 AM on May 23, 2013

Parbleu, he shouted. Why is it always me who needs to keep the plot together. Turning to Frodo, who still was lying about near the the x-shaped door, he roared, "You're in the wrong story my friend! What are you even doing here?"
"Euh Maatin" answered the latter in accented British, "you deunt even kneuh whhat I've been threough!"
"Right. yeah," said Martin. Wheeling around, he addressed Cumberbatch. "My
posted by Namlit at 11:54 AM on May 23, 2013

...quickly disassembled friend" he said pointing at the leg "led me on a wild goose chase when I was specifically looking for a Chinese restaurant that serves DUCK."
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:57 AM on May 23, 2013

question to you, Ceekbones, is what you're doing here at all! People aren't even really supposed to know that you're alive. How do we explain that now?"

I have a theory, said Göran meekly. Frodo rolled his eyes (which looked like the Haddock which I didn't buy yesterday came to life). Well, said Smeldicott, who'd come over to listen in, let's have it, then!

Slowly, Göran began to explain his theory of how Sherlock had survived his fall...
posted by Namlit at 11:57 AM on May 23, 2013

Rather than hearing, finally, the true story behind Holmes' fall, pb decided to put metatalk on hold and so we keep guessing.
posted by Namlit at 12:05 PM on May 23, 2013

Sadly but oh so true. Weeping, Göran turned away from the lovely scene and walked back home.
posted by Namlit at 12:06 PM on May 23, 2013

Time was rapidly running out, while peanut butter was slowly seeping out the bottom of the cracked tub.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:15 PM on May 23, 2013

Uh-oh.
posted by Kabanos at 12:19 PM on May 23, 2013

Virginia, it might seem like a good idea to pour the oil off the organic peanut butter, but trust me, it's not.
posted by box at 12:25 PM on May 23, 2013

Where do we go from here?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:49 PM on May 23, 2013

X-rated sitcoms.
posted by box at 12:51 PM on May 23, 2013

'Yes, Yes, Yes, Prime Minister'
posted by box at 12:52 PM on May 23, 2013

Zamboni enters, stage left, to smooth the stage before the next round of Alphabet Antics.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:53 PM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

'Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane'
posted by box at 12:54 PM on May 23, 2013

All Sin the Family
posted by Rumple at 12:54 PM on May 23, 2013

Becker, I don't even know her
posted by Kabanos at 12:58 PM on May 23, 2013

Charles In Charges Of War Crimes
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:59 PM on May 23, 2013

DEEPER! Space Nine.
posted by shothotbot at 1:00 PM on May 23, 2013

Everybody Fists Raymond
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:01 PM on May 23, 2013

Full Arse
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:02 PM on May 23, 2013

Gang Bang Theory
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:02 PM on May 23, 2013

Golden Shower Girls
posted by Kabanos at 1:02 PM on May 23, 2013

How I Mount Your Mother
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:03 PM on May 23, 2013

I Cream on Jeannie
posted by Rumple at 1:11 PM on May 23, 2013

Joanie Does Chachi
posted by peagood at 1:12 PM on May 23, 2013

Kate Does Allie
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:18 PM on May 23, 2013

Leave It Up Beaver
posted by Rumple at 1:18 PM on May 23, 2013

My So-Called Orgy
posted by Diablevert at 1:19 PM on May 23, 2013

NudesRadio
posted by Kabanos at 1:20 PM on May 23, 2013

Nip/Fuck
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:20 PM on May 23, 2013

One Lay at a Time
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:21 PM on May 23, 2013

Orifice (The)
posted by Kabanos at 1:21 PM on May 23, 2013

O'Reilly Fucker
posted by iamkimiam at 1:22 PM on May 23, 2013

Party Go Down
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:24 PM on May 23, 2013

Petit Cunt Junction
posted by Rumple at 1:25 PM on May 23, 2013

Prime Minister's Fisting Time
posted by Diablevert at 1:25 PM on May 23, 2013

Queer as Folk Who Fuck Other Men in the Butt Because that is Pretty Queer
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:27 PM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Quimly Matters
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:27 PM on May 23, 2013

Reboot Up Your Ass
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:32 PM on May 23, 2013

Sesame Streetwalkers
posted by iamkimiam at 1:32 PM on May 23, 2013

Star Trek: In Her Prize
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:33 PM on May 23, 2013

Three's Cumpany
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:33 PM on May 23, 2013

Ugly Booty
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:35 PM on May 23, 2013

Vajeffersons
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:37 PM on May 23, 2013

Wanted: Dead or Alive
posted by iamkimiam at 1:38 PM on May 23, 2013

Wet's Happening!!
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:38 PM on May 23, 2013

XXX Rock
posted by Rumple at 1:52 PM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

You Can't Do Them on Television
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:59 PM on May 23, 2013

zap, and (the hi)story was reduced to meek one-half-liners. Oh what a world what a world
posted by Namlit at 2:06 PM on May 23, 2013

and that while I only ate dinner and filled in my payment forms for the hourly GRARsuperGRARvisions
posted by Namlit at 2:07 PM on May 23, 2013

be this a round of wining about daily life
posted by Namlit at 2:08 PM on May 23, 2013

could the neighbour's cat please stop shitting in my yard?
posted by Rumple at 2:11 PM on May 23, 2013

dtmfa
posted by Namlit at 2:14 PM on May 23, 2013

Everything is awesome and nobody is happy
posted by jeribus at 2:22 PM on May 23, 2013

fucking people, god damn it
posted by Sys Rq at 2:23 PM on May 23, 2013

Google ruined everything, amirite?
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:29 PM on May 23, 2013

Hell, I'm so far behind on packing.
posted by vrakatar at 2:34 PM on May 23, 2013

It just goes to show.
posted by Kabanos at 2:40 PM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Just now I was thinking: who the hell sends 4 Government Center trains in a row when North Station stop is desperately needed? AND. . . who will hear my complaint! (Metatalk Alphabet thread, that's who)
posted by jeremias at 2:45 PM on May 23, 2013

Kids, man.
posted by box at 2:47 PM on May 23, 2013

Let's be Civil, people. Like a Servant. Or a War.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:50 PM on May 23, 2013

Must get up at 7 tomorrow. Maan that sucks. How can I keep reading this here now if I have to sleep, dammit.
posted by Namlit at 3:40 PM on May 23, 2013

Now i ALSO have to prepare my backpack and do the dishes. Oh yeah.
posted by Namlit at 3:40 PM on May 23, 2013

Oh yeah, indeed.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:44 PM on May 23, 2013

Personally feeling alarmed to see pictures of Matt Smith with his hair cut to Chris Eccleston length... is THAT part of the upcoming 50th Anniversary Special?
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:52 PM on May 23, 2013

QUIT DRINKING MY MILKSHAKE
posted by ook at 3:54 PM on May 23, 2013

Reason #374 why The New York Times is no longer real journalism. Solidarity with Fox News, not Wikileaks.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:08 PM on May 23, 2013

stop telling me what milkshake I can drink
posted by Namlit at 4:21 PM on May 23, 2013

These free chicken wings that someone brought for us to eat at work today aren't as hot as I would prefer, forcing me to use auxiliary hot sauce from the office refrigerator.
posted by box at 4:25 PM on May 23, 2013

users, make up your minds, is it solidarity with fox news or auxiliary hot sauce? I'm getting confused
posted by Namlit at 4:32 PM on May 23, 2013

Various options exist that include non-Fox-News-approved hot sauces... Sriracha, Tapatio, that weird green Jalapeno Tabasco...
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:35 PM on May 23, 2013

Where is everybody?!? We just passed the 8-day mark with over 3250 comments... projected to 30 days, that's (pulls up Windows Calculator) over 12K. We can do it!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:44 PM on May 23, 2013

X-treme actions may be required. If goals are not met, twoleftfeet may end up short oneleftfoot.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:45 PM on May 23, 2013

You don't want ME picking the theme for the next alpha-cycle... do you?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:46 PM on May 23, 2013

Zounds, no! Fox-News-approved hot-sauce brand names, let's go!
posted by box at 5:48 PM on May 23, 2013

A-Reilly Fiery-tor
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:51 PM on May 23, 2013

But X-Files was on Fox, which is ALMOST FoxNews, so... "I prefer not to activate my Catholocism Powers at this time. Only my Sarcasm Powers."
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:19 PM on May 23, 2013

Cavuto-asco
posted by Area Man at 6:21 PM on May 23, 2013

Dana Perineum. Dana Perino, obscure Fox News commentator who I looked up on Wikipedia + Perineum, otherwise known as the "taint", the area betwixt the cod and the fundament: an area sometimes irritated by the spiciness of hot sauce.
posted by jeremias at 6:24 PM on May 23, 2013

Dang, spread some of that on your Hot Right Wings!
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:25 PM on May 23, 2013

Doocy Sauce! I forgot Doocy Sauce!
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:26 PM on May 23, 2013

El Becko Loco.

Dana Perino, obscure Fox News commentator

Dana Perino, former Deputy Press Secretary for the Bush admin, fwiw.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:16 PM on May 23, 2013

Fiery, As Hot As Megyn Kelly Sauce
posted by Area Man at 7:34 PM on May 23, 2013

George's Insanity Sauce.
posted by box at 7:38 PM on May 23, 2013

Goler Green Salsa (or Vendell Verde)
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:39 PM on May 23, 2013

Hannity Hot (and Colmes Cold, remember him?)
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:41 PM on May 23, 2013

I used to love Colmes Cold sauce. That flavor--a little milktoast, some straw notes and an ineffable beige yellowness, yowza.
posted by box at 7:44 PM on May 23, 2013

Jeb Bush's Baked Beans.
posted by box at 7:45 PM on May 23, 2013

Koch-a-Kola
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:47 PM on May 23, 2013

Lieberman's hawk sauce
posted by Area Man at 7:54 PM on May 23, 2013

Marco Rubasco.
posted by box at 7:58 PM on May 23, 2013

Newt's Third Time is the Charm Pepper Sauce
posted by Area Man at 8:02 PM on May 23, 2013

Old Glory Spicy Blend
posted by shothotbot at 8:55 PM on May 23, 2013

Palin's Peppers (All of 'em)
posted by jeremias at 9:03 PM on May 23, 2013

Quayle's Martian Canal Picante Sauce
posted by Area Man at 9:06 PM on May 23, 2013

Quayle's Hotter Than Jack Kennedy Sauce
(dammit, too slow)
posted by Westringia F. at 9:08 PM on May 23, 2013

Ron Paul's Subsidy-Free Spicy Salsa.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:10 PM on May 23, 2013

Supreme Court Split Opinion Supernova Sauce.
posted by arcticseal at 9:14 PM on May 23, 2013

Trickle Down (Your Chin) BBQ Sauce
posted by Westringia F. at 9:14 PM on May 23, 2013

Unlimited Scovilles of America
posted by en forme de poire at 9:30 PM on May 23, 2013

Victory Sauce (Sweet, Sweet)
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:52 PM on May 23, 2013

Wild Tea Spice, party pack
posted by Namlit at 10:17 PM on May 23, 2013

Xtra Burn the Poor, Texas Style
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:35 PM on May 23, 2013

Zappo, the sauce that ends it all
posted by Namlit at 10:41 PM on May 23, 2013

A round about touristic hot spots, city named at the end
posted by Namlit at 10:41 PM on May 23, 2013

Blooperbahn. Hamburg
posted by Namlit at 10:42 PM on May 23, 2013

Carpal Canal. Venice
posted by Namlit at 10:43 PM on May 23, 2013

DooDaahBanana. Forgot where.
posted by Namlit at 10:44 PM on May 23, 2013

Every Banana Stand, Orange County, CA
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:45 PM on May 23, 2013

Flakeland, Kellogg, Minnesota
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:46 PM on May 23, 2013

GongPongSong, Hong Kong
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:48 PM on May 23, 2013

High Five, Four Corners
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:50 PM on May 23, 2013

Indian Ink Apple Grove, Indianapolis
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:51 PM on May 23, 2013

Just looking through this list of tourism slogans from around the world I couldn't help but notice that while many countries have inviting or exuberant slogans ("Malawi - The warm heart of Africa", "Kyrgyzstan – oasis on the Great Silk Road") many nordic and scandinavian countries can't muster much enthusiasm to entice visitors ("Visit Finland", "Visit Iceland", "Visit Norway", "Visit Sweden"). It's like "Come visit, but it's going to be miserably cold. So are you sure about that?"
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:04 PM on May 23, 2013

Keeping with tradition, I am obliged to note that a moose bit my sister once.
posted by Dr Dracator at 11:27 PM on May 23, 2013

Likewise, I am obligated to mention that my moose was once bit by Sister Territoria of the Order of the Alphabetical by Height.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:48 PM on May 23, 2013

Moose - Early Woody Allen
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:11 AM on May 24, 2013

My wombat was bit by a vampire bat and now it's really confused.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:12 AM on May 24, 2013

Nickelodeon has a new cartoon this weekend with a title character named Craig (my real name) who is a talking snake (not my real identity) voiced by Chris Hardwick (I wish) and produced by the creators of Pete & Pete (I double wish). Sanjay and Craig
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:14 AM on May 24, 2013

Ochanomizu in Tokyo is the best place in the city to shop for musical instruments.
posted by Ghidorah at 12:17 AM on May 24, 2013

Pluck Twang is a good place for guitars in Thailand.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:19 AM on May 24, 2013

Oboe-kin is a great place for wind instruments in New Jersey.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:20 AM on May 24, 2013

Quite Quiet is a store that sells musical instruments that produce sounds that are almost inaudible, only liminally appreciable during those moments when the winds are still and the birds are silent.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:24 AM on May 24, 2013

Rock Cafe was a chain of restaurants which featured interesting geological memorabilia.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:26 AM on May 24, 2013

Song of Solomon is a bordello where they do it Old Testament style.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:33 AM on May 24, 2013

Timpani is a breakfast place. Breakfast at Timpani's is a great way to wake up your morning, with deep booming bangs from the tea in a kettledrum.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:37 AM on May 24, 2013

Unaussprechlichen Torten is a fictional German bakery specializing in HPL-themed cakes
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:41 AM on May 24, 2013

Victor's Secret is a shop that sells lacy lingerie and tells us more than we want to know about Victor.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:44 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

Walmart is a big store and I spent over an hour walking up and down the aisles before I found an employee who could tell me that, no, they don't sell walls.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:51 AM on May 24, 2013

Xbox is a gaming platform that is also a platform for TV and Internet and platforms.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:53 AM on May 24, 2013

Yog is a successful chain of restaurants in California for people who like yoghurt but don't want the hurt.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:55 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zanzibarrista is my favorite coffee shop, whenever I'm in Tanzania.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:04 AM on May 24, 2013

Aardvarks love coffe, it's one of the less well known animal facts I just made up.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:53 AM on May 24, 2013

Allen Poe.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:54 AM on May 24, 2013

Butler Yeats.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:54 AM on May 24, 2013

C. Fields
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:57 AM on May 24, 2013

D. Rockefeller.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:58 AM on May 24, 2013

Edgar Hoover
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:59 AM on May 24, 2013

F. Kennedy
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:59 AM on May 24, 2013

G. Wells
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:00 AM on May 24, 2013

H. Auden
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:00 AM on May 24, 2013

I. I is. I is I.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:02 AM on May 24, 2013

J Abrams
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:06 AM on May 24, 2013

K. Chesterton
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:07 AM on May 24, 2013

Luther King
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:08 AM on May 24, 2013

M. Pei
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:09 AM on May 24, 2013

N. Stein
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:24 AM on May 24, 2013

Oreilly
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:27 AM on May 24, 2013

P. Morgan
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:28 AM on May 24, 2013

Q. Public
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:29 AM on May 24, 2013

R. Murrow
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:33 AM on May 24, 2013

S. Eliot
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:34 AM on May 24, 2013

T. Washington
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:35 AM on May 24, 2013

Under the cover of night, I will make one cycle before anybody notices.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:37 AM on May 24, 2013

Van Beethoven
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:38 AM on May 24, 2013

W. Bush
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:39 AM on May 24, 2013

X
posted by greenish at 2:40 AM on May 24, 2013

Yeah, well. There goes that idea.

But that just means it's your turn to find another one.

Hah!
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:43 AM on May 24, 2013

Zap! What night are you anyway referring to. It's bright daylight. And no mooses only stupid magenpies.
posted by Namlit at 2:59 AM on May 24, 2013

Arach-snides. Sarcastic spiders.
posted by Namlit at 3:00 AM on May 24, 2013

Barbecue-rates. Addictive grill contest.
posted by Namlit at 3:02 AM on May 24, 2013

Casta-nettles. Weeds that click rhythmically.
posted by Namlit at 3:03 AM on May 24, 2013

Dada-schism. Two surreal characters running in opposite directions.
posted by Namlit at 3:05 AM on May 24, 2013

Egregi-mouse. Rhodent with no style.
posted by Namlit at 3:07 AM on May 24, 2013

Fapplication - software just for your pleasure .
posted by dg at 3:54 AM on May 24, 2013

Grar-gantula. A very large and very angry spider.
posted by Namlit at 4:01 AM on May 24, 2013

Heave-ning. Your typical college student's Friday night.
posted by jeremias at 5:18 AM on May 24, 2013

Icy-kills. Look up in winter, people.
posted by h00py at 5:21 AM on May 24, 2013

Jessa-mine. Blows up if you leave a nasty comment around here.
posted by Namlit at 5:37 AM on May 24, 2013

Kettle broom. One of the few things that Mahler didn't use in his symphonies.
posted by Namlit at 5:40 AM on May 24, 2013

Lolly-plop. A sweet smelling turd.
posted by h00py at 5:42 AM on May 24, 2013

Masti-creation. A five-year-old's upper and inner life turned outward.
posted by Namlit at 5:43 AM on May 24, 2013

North hole. What's left behind by global warming.
posted by Namlit at 5:44 AM on May 24, 2013

Orangu-twang. Slightly out of tune great ape.
posted by h00py at 5:47 AM on May 24, 2013

Preposterosis. Life-threatening condition of waiting for the letter that never comes.
posted by Namlit at 5:50 AM on May 24, 2013

Quisling. A baby quis.
posted by h00py at 5:51 AM on May 24, 2013

Radi Cal: West coast root digger
posted by Namlit at 5:53 AM on May 24, 2013

Stupefried: shrimp tend to end up like that
posted by Namlit at 5:53 AM on May 24, 2013

Tentachles - an annoying condition suffered after sleeping inside canvas.
posted by h00py at 5:57 AM on May 24, 2013

Un canny. What an empty fridge is like.
posted by Namlit at 6:00 AM on May 24, 2013

Verti stop. Is what you do when you have that condition.
posted by Namlit at 6:01 AM on May 24, 2013

Wile A. Raccoon. Cartoon character that lives in upstate NY and keeps falling out of trees, hunting hamburger wrappings.
posted by Namlit at 6:03 AM on May 24, 2013

Xenofile - for removing the sharp bits off foreigners.
posted by h00py at 6:10 AM on May 24, 2013

Yankee - one who yanks.
posted by h00py at 6:26 AM on May 24, 2013

Zanzibar - a long metal object used to quell the Vicious Beast of Zanzi.
posted by h00py at 6:37 AM on May 24, 2013

Achoo!
posted by h00py at 6:38 AM on May 24, 2013

Bless you!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:43 AM on May 24, 2013

Christ, the pollen is bad this year.
posted by shothotbot at 6:51 AM on May 24, 2013

Çok yaşa!
posted by Kabanos at 6:51 AM on May 24, 2013

Dukha vehil !
posted by Kabanos at 6:52 AM on May 24, 2013

Egészségedre!
posted by Kabanos at 6:53 AM on May 24, 2013

Feurff
posted by h00py at 7:24 AM on May 24, 2013

Gesundheit
posted by Golden Eternity at 7:28 AM on May 24, 2013

Hatschiii
posted by Namlit at 7:45 AM on May 24, 2013

Is it still catching?
posted by Namlit at 7:46 AM on May 24, 2013

Just barely...
posted by Namlit at 7:46 AM on May 24, 2013

(Keeling over)
posted by Namlit at 7:47 AM on May 24, 2013

Look sharp people!
posted by Kabanos at 7:49 AM on May 24, 2013

Mislaid my glasses. Won't happen.
posted by Namlit at 7:49 AM on May 24, 2013

My mobile is in hand! Anyone know the number for 911?
posted by shothotbot at 7:50 AM on May 24, 2013

Never mind, its just the glasses.
posted by shothotbot at 7:50 AM on May 24, 2013

Optometrists count on you losing them now and then to keep from starving.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:52 AM on May 24, 2013

People squinting is the new black.
posted by h00py at 8:02 AM on May 24, 2013

quintessential squintessential
posted by Kabanos at 8:04 AM on May 24, 2013

squintessential schmintessential
posted by flabdablet at 8:43 AM on May 24, 2013

Really, missing a letter is like so 24 seconds ago.
posted by h00py at 8:44 AM on May 24, 2013

retroactive (and now redundant) reintroduction
posted by ook at 8:45 AM on May 24, 2013

Terribly sorry. Won't happen again.
posted by flabdablet at 8:45 AM on May 24, 2013

Unless it does. In which case THINGS TURN SOUR LET ME TELL YOU
posted by ook at 8:47 AM on May 24, 2013

Very much like the time Edna scoffed the vinegar instead of the vodka. Oh, laugh, we nearly prolapsed.
posted by h00py at 8:48 AM on May 24, 2013

Wasabi and avocado dip look regrettably similar also.
posted by flabdablet at 8:49 AM on May 24, 2013

You shouldn't scoff at vinegar: it'll scoff right in your eyes if you let it.
posted by ook at 8:50 AM on May 24, 2013

Xenomorphs will hug the face of the next person to skip a letter.
posted by flabdablet at 8:55 AM on May 24, 2013

We should head back to my place.
posted by shothotbot at 8:55 AM on May 24, 2013

Zounds! 'tis harsh, m'lud, I do declare!
posted by h00py at 8:56 AM on May 24, 2013

Are you trying to start an argument?
posted by h00py at 8:56 AM on May 24, 2013

Bollocks to that.
posted by flabdablet at 8:57 AM on May 24, 2013

Cool it you guys
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:58 AM on May 24, 2013

D'oh, someone stole my perfectly good X joke and replaced it with a Y! I blame time travelers!
posted by ook at 8:59 AM on May 24, 2013

Damn you and the duck you rode in on!
posted by h00py at 8:59 AM on May 24, 2013

Excuse me, you talkin' to me?
posted by Dr Dracator at 9:02 AM on May 24, 2013

Every time, those time travelers! I swear they do it every single time
posted by ook at 9:02 AM on May 24, 2013

FFFUUUUUUUUU
posted by ook at 9:02 AM on May 24, 2013

Fell moderation's hand crushed all dissent
Until dissent self-censored, and was stilled;
Consensus reigned and as mathowie willed
Kind thoughts and words alone were evident.
Yet underneath the noble sentiment
Our hearts remained with basest fury filled;
Unspeakable, it could do naught but build
And harden as we wrote not what we meant.
So courteous we seem, but it's a ruse:
Sour bile and petty spite will find a way!
Habitual politeness can't uproot
Our fundamental need to hurl abuse
Lest someone else's viewpoint win the day
Especially if they're clearly more astute.
posted by flabdablet at 9:04 AM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]

Go not gently into that good night
Who the fuck knows what's waiting in there to eat you
posted by ook at 9:14 AM on May 24, 2013

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
posted by Kabanos at 9:19 AM on May 24, 2013

I think that I shall never see
A tree as lovely as a poem;
The cool fresh water's not for me
But champagne by the jeroboam.
posted by flabdablet at 9:21 AM on May 24, 2013

Frantic'ly flail for rhymes I do
It isn't native to me, njet
Results are likely so and so
But who am I to sit and fret
posted by Namlit at 9:42 AM on May 24, 2013

Just sayin'
posted by Namlit at 9:43 AM on May 24, 2013

Key to rhyming. Travel timing.
posted by Namlit at 9:43 AM on May 24, 2013

Late to party: fail at starty.
posted by flabdablet at 9:49 AM on May 24, 2013

Make it better: N's your letter.
posted by flabdablet at 9:51 AM on May 24, 2013

Never ever will I fail
making this here thing in time
even though my brainsies flail
there you have it, it does rhyme
posted by Namlit at 9:54 AM on May 24, 2013

Obviously need more ale!
Posting sober is a crime.
Here's a cold Corona Pale.
Would you like a wedge of lime?
posted by flabdablet at 10:06 AM on May 24, 2013

Pity. I've already wine,
from sunny ca li forniaah
All the wine is act'lly mine,
my girl is in vir giniah
posted by Namlit at 10:11 AM on May 24, 2013

Piss and swill! the beer snobs say
Drink obscure or rue the day
Unless it's been quadruple-bocked
By bearded hipsters in wool socks
It's worse than Coors (and that's a lot!)
posted by ook at 10:11 AM on May 24, 2013

Quip to close the couplet. (Rot.)
posted by ook at 10:12 AM on May 24, 2013

Rapturous applause
posted by flabdablet at 10:13 AM on May 24, 2013

Questionable stuff, alas,
called "deadly Zins" I must confess
It will taste as taste it does
Leaves me likely in a mess
posted by Namlit at 10:13 AM on May 24, 2013

Something tells me I'm slow
posted by Namlit at 10:14 AM on May 24, 2013

Stunned silence.
posted by Kabanos at 10:14 AM on May 24, 2013

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And wished I had brought my GPS.
posted by Kabanos at 10:15 AM on May 24, 2013

Tasting is going on.
posted by Namlit at 10:15 AM on May 24, 2013

Unless you follow the yellow quick toad
posted by Namlit at 10:16 AM on May 24, 2013

Veering off to the right, he made it into the yellow wood in time to get rid of his beer (remember. Beer cannot be bought, only borrowed)
posted by Namlit at 10:17 AM on May 24, 2013

Waking under leaves
A foul cascade of hot piss
Ruins my hairstyle
posted by flabdablet at 10:35 AM on May 24, 2013

X. I can't think of anything that rhymes with X. It's on the tip of my tongue but I just can't get it up. I'm sure this happens to all the guys sometimes. Let's just make out for a while and see if it comes to me.
posted by ook at 11:09 AM on May 24, 2013

Xiphoid regress, or something, like.
posted by Namlit at 11:33 AM on May 24, 2013

"Yo-ho" said the pirate from Snook
who was known for his ninety-pound hook.
Then he said "Lack-a-day!
[as his wristbones gave way]
Maybe next time...not such a big hook."
posted by DaDaDaDave at 11:35 AM on May 24, 2013

Zoo animals
don't wear flannel-alls
don't watch "Hannibal"
don't really care at all.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:25 PM on May 24, 2013

Are we still required to use rhyme?
Because I suspect most of us don't really have the time.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:26 PM on May 24, 2013

Could be we need to write in couplets
Dat use two sequential letters as a doublet
posted by ook at 12:33 PM on May 24, 2013

Everything that can be done will be
Failure's not in our decision tree
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:54 PM on May 24, 2013

God, what have you two done
Hard as Hell, and I've just begun!
posted by Kabanos at 1:05 PM on May 24, 2013

I think we can make it
Just keep on, or fake it
posted by ook at 1:11 PM on May 24, 2013

Know what I think? Here's what we will do:
List ingredients, instructions, we'll do recipes too.
posted by Kabanos at 1:20 PM on May 24, 2013

Mmmm, a recipe in slant rhyme
No more than two ingredients, mind
posted by ook at 1:23 PM on May 24, 2013

Memorial Day Milkshake. It's really quite easy:
No milk, and no shake, just down beer till you're queasy.
posted by Kabanos at 1:23 PM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

Orange Chicken. You start with a hen.
Pluck it all naked, and cover with cayenne.
posted by Kabanos at 1:42 PM on May 24, 2013

quail as a roast, I believe, needs just this
rosemary, garlic, the rest is pure bliss
posted by Namlit at 1:47 PM on May 24, 2013

sausage is made with a crapload of meat
turned into goo, fried and munched if there's need
posted by Namlit at 1:52 PM on May 24, 2013

unearthed, the truffle just merely needs slicing,
verily nothing much more (unless dicing)
posted by Namlit at 1:56 PM on May 24, 2013

Wild is the stuff that comes sweet hard and brown
xiocola-tll is the name that is known
posted by Namlit at 1:59 PM on May 24, 2013

Yogurt with Stripes. You should warm up your hands.
Zebras don't like cold on their mammary glands.
posted by Kabanos at 2:09 PM on May 24, 2013

You're making poems now, from the alphabet game?
Zero interest in that; so very lame.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:09 PM on May 24, 2013

Aaaaand beaten, 'cause, damnit, every fucker goes high-speed.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:11 PM on May 24, 2013

Bleh, we are never doing that again.
posted by Kabanos at 2:21 PM on May 24, 2013

A bright cat does everything fast, grippingly, handy. It juggles keys, lamps, mice nicely. Other pets quip, rant, scathe, thus underestimating vastly willfulness, xactness, zen.
posted by Namlit at 2:22 PM on May 24, 2013

And another Anfang
posted by Namlit at 2:23 PM on May 24, 2013

b
Damn why did I lose the y. Wilfulness, yoga, exactness, zen
posted by Namlit at 2:24 PM on May 24, 2013

Best cat. Defiantly escapes furious grooming. Hides in junk, keeps leaping monstrously near our pale quivering rumps. Stand tall, unwavering, violent, wild xample. Yonder zebra awaits.
posted by arcticseal at 2:28 PM on May 24, 2013

...but can't dodge every freakin' gator. His incisors jut, kissing legs made newly ocher.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:34 PM on May 24, 2013

Bats cunningly dive estimating fluffy greasy hairy insects just kiting lusciously mesmerizingly nearby. Owls put quick, radical stop to unaware vampires, while xiting yonder zone a.
posted by Namlit at 2:41 PM on May 24, 2013

Can we PLEASE move forward? B is so... two hours ago!
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:00 PM on May 24, 2013

Do we need a theme to keep up interest? Would rhetorical questions be doable, or is that just another rhetorical question?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:01 PM on May 24, 2013

Either way, something different please! How about things you can do on your knees?
posted by peagood at 4:02 PM on May 24, 2013

Finding my glasses! Finding my glasses!
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:04 PM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

Get a book to read from the bottom shelf of the bookshelves (and realize the reason you put these particular books on the bottom shelf was because you didn't want to read them ever again)
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:14 PM on May 24, 2013

Hide from people looking in the window.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:15 PM on May 24, 2013

Insufflate that white powdery stuff that keeps piling up in the corner behind the door, whatever it is
posted by ook at 4:21 PM on May 24, 2013

Ice skating, if you wear the skates on your knees
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:22 PM on May 24, 2013

Joke about being a dwarf but carry it on just a little too long such that you make everyone at the party mildly uncomfortable
posted by ook at 4:24 PM on May 24, 2013

Kiss a midget.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:25 PM on May 24, 2013

Liturgical audience participation.
posted by box at 4:25 PM on May 24, 2013

Mouse hunt!
posted by ook at 4:26 PM on May 24, 2013

must catch up. So the abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz-a type of posting is out?
posted by Namlit at 4:26 PM on May 24, 2013

nagging thoughts: is it that they didn't want it or that they didn't get it...
posted by Namlit at 4:27 PM on May 24, 2013

On your knees!
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:28 PM on May 24, 2013

Playing goalie.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:28 PM on May 24, 2013

Present!
posted by ook at 4:28 PM on May 24, 2013

query: how many presents?
posted by Namlit at 4:29 PM on May 24, 2013

rather like presents
posted by Namlit at 4:30 PM on May 24, 2013

Silly, that was a verb...
posted by ook at 4:31 PM on May 24, 2013

Sense of a presence
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:31 PM on May 24, 2013

Tense present
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:31 PM on May 24, 2013

...unless you do it right...
posted by ook at 4:32 PM on May 24, 2013

voluptuous peasants
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:33 PM on May 24, 2013

wiry werewolves (is that the idea? Coach me)
posted by Namlit at 4:35 PM on May 24, 2013

Wish for something pleasant
posted by ook at 4:35 PM on May 24, 2013

Xclude all prescience
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:37 PM on May 24, 2013

Yell at the downstairs presence
posted by ook at 4:39 PM on May 24, 2013

"Yes and..." is a technique of improv. Look it up presently.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:39 PM on May 24, 2013

Yuck. Fast food after Memorial Day traffic jam. Roy Rogers, where I used to work, slinging TriggerBurgers.
posted by shothotbot at 4:40 PM on May 24, 2013

Zat burger waz Trigger!
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:42 PM on May 24, 2013

Zip up a pheasant.

I'm not going into how he got unzipped in the first place
posted by ook at 4:42 PM on May 24, 2013

Appease a mod
posted by Namlit at 4:43 PM on May 24, 2013

B-cause they're watching us
posted by Namlit at 4:44 PM on May 24, 2013

constant com-mod-dity
posted by Namlit at 4:44 PM on May 24, 2013

Dominant Mod
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:46 PM on May 24, 2013

E-mod-icon
posted by Namlit at 4:47 PM on May 24, 2013

Fond me-mod-ries
posted by Namlit at 4:48 PM on May 24, 2013

God mod
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:52 PM on May 24, 2013

Hodge-modge
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:56 PM on May 24, 2013

iMod
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:56 PM on May 24, 2013

Jeeves and Modster
posted by Namlit at 5:00 PM on May 24, 2013

Le Mod, the 24 hours of...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:02 PM on May 24, 2013

key-mod speaker
posted by Namlit at 5:02 PM on May 24, 2013

Moddy Mac Modderton
posted by Namlit at 5:03 PM on May 24, 2013

Model of a modern major general
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:03 PM on May 24, 2013

Nod at a mod
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:03 PM on May 24, 2013

Nod
posted by Namlit at 5:03 PM on May 24, 2013

Oods are Doctor Who's Mods
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:04 PM on May 24, 2013

Prods (giggles)
posted by Namlit at 5:07 PM on May 24, 2013

Quasi-mods-ooze
posted by Namlit at 5:08 PM on May 24, 2013

Remody
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:12 PM on May 24, 2013

Somod and Gomorrah
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:12 PM on May 24, 2013

To-mod-rrow
posted by Namlit at 5:13 PM on May 24, 2013

Uh
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:20 PM on May 24, 2013

veal à la mod-e
posted by Namlit at 5:31 PM on May 24, 2013

Xetroc is a mod. Careful! Pass it on.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:38 PM on May 24, 2013

Weapons of mod destruction
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:39 PM on May 24, 2013

Yadda-yadda-yadda-Mod-a-filter
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:40 PM on May 24, 2013

Zoe is pronounced "zo-ee" and Chloe is pronounced "clo-ee"
But they never say Curly, Larry, and Mo-ee.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:55 PM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

Zaphmod Beeblbrox
posted by Kabanos at 5:58 PM on May 24, 2013

Admissions of guilt.
posted by Kabanos at 6:00 PM on May 24, 2013

because mo-ee is a boy-ee?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:01 PM on May 24, 2013

Confessions are the opposite of professions?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:01 PM on May 24, 2013

Digress is the opposite of progress
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:04 PM on May 24, 2013

Egress is the opposite of entrance
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:05 PM on May 24, 2013

Foie gras is the opposite of grass-fed beef
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:06 PM on May 24, 2013

Grass is the opposite of weed. But also not.
posted by Kabanos at 6:13 PM on May 24, 2013

Hankering for weed now.
posted by Kabanos at 6:14 PM on May 24, 2013

Ingress is the opposite of egrets.

At least according to autocorrect.
posted by arcticseal at 6:20 PM on May 24, 2013

I'd like to smoke the opposite of weed. I'm not sure what that is, but I'm pretty sure that after a couple hours you don't want any potato chips.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:20 PM on May 24, 2013

Junkies, really serious junkies, junkies who are also ornithologists, mainline heron.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:23 PM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]

Kooky! I just like to smoke a Jay.
posted by Kabanos at 6:24 PM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

Let me be the first to say that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:26 PM on May 24, 2013

Might I be the first to say, during this discussion of the drug habits of birds, that...
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:28 PM on May 24, 2013

No tern has been left unstoned
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:29 PM on May 24, 2013 [3 favorites]

Owl be stoned for Christmas.
posted by Kabanos at 6:44 PM on May 24, 2013

Puffin.
posted by Kabanos at 6:45 PM on May 24, 2013

Quailuuuudes, dudes.
posted by Rumple at 7:02 PM on May 24, 2013

Robin red nose?
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:13 PM on May 24, 2013

Stoned woodpeckers.

(I don't know, the idea was suddenly just really funny to me.)
posted by maryr at 7:26 PM on May 24, 2013

Seagulls on speedballs
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:27 PM on May 24, 2013

Toronto Rob-bin doin crack
posted by Kabanos at 7:46 PM on May 24, 2013

Under the in-flew-ence?
this is hard, need new theme SOON
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:56 PM on May 24, 2013

Yellow honey eaters down in the Amazon with Ginzberg, all chuggin yage.
posted by Ahab at 8:10 PM on May 24, 2013

Vultures on valium, they fall out of the sky.
posted by pianissimo at 8:12 PM on May 24, 2013

Weebill on Whiz's worth of alphabetical fuckup there.. Sorry.
posted by Ahab at 8:14 PM on May 24, 2013

X is a pair of birds on X-stasy.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:46 PM on May 24, 2013

X-tc with me, baby
posted by jeremias at 8:46 PM on May 24, 2013

Young and angry, Ed didn't fit in with the other birds. But he was pretty sure that they couldn't tell he was on drugs.

posted by twoleftfeet at 8:47 PM on May 24, 2013

Zenker's Honeyguide is a species of bird, not a designer drug.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:29 PM on May 24, 2013

Are we up to doing cow puns yet?
posted by pianissimo at 9:36 PM on May 24, 2013

Bovine by me.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:41 PM on May 24, 2013

Cattle-gorically this is the best metatalk thread in like, ever.
posted by pianissimo at 9:46 PM on May 24, 2013

Definitely legen-dairy.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:51 PM on May 24, 2013

Everybody wants to be a cow-median...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:06 PM on May 24, 2013

Found it in my library's card cattle-log.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:11 PM on May 24, 2013

Guns With Cows
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:12 PM on May 24, 2013

Heifer me, heifer you.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:15 PM on May 24, 2013

I herd you like cow puns...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:17 PM on May 24, 2013

Just wanting to milk this thread for all it's worth.
posted by pianissimo at 10:19 PM on May 24, 2013

Keeping the moooood light...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:28 PM on May 24, 2013

Like I cud care less...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:34 PM on May 24, 2013

MOOOOO-d music would improve the atmosphere in here.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:36 PM on May 24, 2013

No, what we really need is MORE COWBELL!!!
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:38 PM on May 24, 2013

Outstanding in your field...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:39 PM on May 24, 2013

Pasture prime...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:40 PM on May 24, 2013

Quite the thread you're calving out here, oneswellfoop
posted by pianissimo at 10:43 PM on May 24, 2013

Really? I thought it was getting jerky.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:46 PM on May 24, 2013

Steaks are high...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:47 PM on May 24, 2013

Tipping cow point
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:48 PM on May 24, 2013

Udderly ridiculous...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:48 PM on May 24, 2013

Veal-ing any better?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:49 PM on May 24, 2013

Wagyu ask?
posted by pianissimo at 10:51 PM on May 24, 2013

X with an O is an Ox-ymoron.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:00 PM on May 24, 2013

Yes, mis-steaks were made...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:01 PM on May 24, 2013

X-actly when did this get so cheesy? The perpetrator should be put into custard-y.
posted by pianissimo at 11:01 PM on May 24, 2013

'zat? You got a beef with me?
posted by pianissimo at 11:03 PM on May 24, 2013

ALL RIGHT PEOPLE, the next theme (which I will declare and then stay the @#$% away from) is DOGS (start looking up breeds - there are several that start with 'B')
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:05 PM on May 24, 2013

Bulldogs are barking mad, as is this thread.
posted by pianissimo at 11:11 PM on May 24, 2013

Cantaloupe + Lassie = Melon-collie Baby!
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:20 PM on May 24, 2013

Daschunds are super adorable, and come in bite sized.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 12:04 AM on May 25, 2013

Elo EDO, of Eldorado, opening a small show; for ELO electric light orchestra, eclectic dogbreed orchestra, covering a song by Speedwagon REO, though I wonder how different they are from a Eurasier.
posted by infinite intimation at 12:31 AM on May 25, 2013

Forget the themes, it's time for...

FREE FORM! GO NUTS!
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:17 AM on May 25, 2013

Goldennoodles, however, are a crossbreed between a poodle and stir fry
posted by Namlit at 1:25 AM on May 25, 2013

Here's the favorite pet of Jedis, the Poodlawan...
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:29 AM on May 25, 2013

Haphazard, German.

The German Haphazard Dog (German: Deutscher Trottelköter), is a breed of large-sized dog that originated in Germany. German Haphazards are a relatively wayward breed of dog, with their origin dating to some century or other. As part of the Disoriented Group, German Haphazards are wandering dogs developed originally for walking into walls and guarding their dreams. Because of their strength, lack of intelligence and abilities in oblivion training they are often employed in police and military roles around the world. [wikipedia]
posted by Namlit at 1:31 AM on May 25, 2013

I think they also have Labradookiees...
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:31 AM on May 25, 2013

Jukedogs. If they don't have them, they ought to invent them
posted by Namlit at 1:33 AM on May 25, 2013

Kritterbull. A dog that fits between the gaps in the floor and gets stuck there because it can't unlock its jaws
posted by Namlit at 1:35 AM on May 25, 2013

Let it be known if I am ever the companion species to a canine, I will name it So-Bacca (собака).
posted by infinite intimation at 1:36 AM on May 25, 2013

More likely it is a twin, which would be called Co-Baccca(собака). Maybe they are lions or ligers.
posted by infinite intimation at 1:39 AM on May 25, 2013

now we have the Baccca #4, the Tom Baccca...
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:49 AM on May 25, 2013

or the ultimate Baccca, the Kevin Baccca
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:50 AM on May 25, 2013

possibly even the Sir Mixalot version, Babygot Baccca...
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:53 AM on May 25, 2013

Quite large like a barge is the boody I'll charge
posted by lordaych at 1:54 AM on May 25, 2013

Redundancy is something I do and it's also something I do.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:06 AM on May 25, 2013

Star Wars themed chew toys for your Bacca are sold under the Chew-Bacca brand.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:11 AM on May 25, 2013

Time is not on my side... a week later I still haven't figured out the last episode of Doctor Who
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:14 AM on May 25, 2013

Unfiguredoutshow syndrome afflicts a lot of people. Ask your doctor if Desoxyn is right for you.
posted by lordaych at 2:19 AM on May 25, 2013

Virtually spoken, it needs a Bac-uppa.
posted by Namlit at 3:06 AM on May 25, 2013

When I was in North Korea a few months ago I met the most beautiful woman. "Take me with you" she said. But I couldn't. I was on my way to the next party, and in North Korea there is no "next party", so it would have damaged her psyche.

I was heading to Democracy Day in Nigeria. She wouldn't have understood.

Most people wouldn't understand. Most Americans don't understand what it's like to fly around the world in search of the biggest parties, but it's a hobby of mine.

I'm about to go to China for Children's Day.

She would really like that, but she can't go.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:07 AM on May 25, 2013

xenoflop?
posted by Namlit at 3:08 AM on May 25, 2013

Abacus has a plural, but I don't know what it is. It could be abacus's. Or maybe it's abacese. Or maybe it's just "abacus", the way "some moose" is the plural of "a moose".
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:14 AM on May 25, 2013

you-buggah skipped the
posted by Namlit at 3:17 AM on May 25, 2013

z
posted by Namlit at 3:18 AM on May 25, 2013

Bacchus has no plural
posted by Namlit at 3:19 AM on May 25, 2013

Cos Bacchae dosn't exist? Am I rite?
posted by adamvasco at 3:42 AM on May 25, 2013

Debunking round!
posted by Namlit at 3:47 AM on May 25, 2013

Electricity. Biggest rip-off of modern times. Has anyone seen it? I only see sparks.
posted by Namlit at 3:48 AM on May 25, 2013

Flute playing. Obviously a trick.
posted by Namlit at 3:50 AM on May 25, 2013

Gastronomy. Long term project initiated by some sinister French butchers for making money on offal and B-cuts.
posted by Namlit at 3:51 AM on May 25, 2013

Haptics/Psychohaptics. Research field developed to divert funding commissions' attention from haplessness.
posted by Namlit at 3:55 AM on May 25, 2013

Initiative: already taken
posted by Namlit at 3:57 AM on May 25, 2013

job interview: unemployment interview
posted by Namlit at 3:58 AM on May 25, 2013

Keno: a way of separating the mathematically illiterate from their money.
posted by pianissimo at 4:58 AM on May 25, 2013

Love: just another catastrophe
posted by pianissimo at 5:08 AM on May 25, 2013

Master's degree: a degree of what?
posted by Namlit at 5:18 AM on May 25, 2013

model trains: nobody is training.
posted by Namlit at 5:22 AM on May 25, 2013

orthodontics: sponsored by the fence industry
posted by Namlit at 5:22 AM on May 25, 2013

pianissimo: restrained pounding
posted by Namlit at 5:23 AM on May 25, 2013

quarks: sub sub atomic particles strange and charmed. What happens when physicists try to cross over into literature.
posted by pianissimo at 5:39 AM on May 25, 2013

Roarks: what happens when objectivists try to cross over into literature
posted by ook at 5:52 AM on May 25, 2013

Storks: have never brought me a baby
posted by pianissimo at 6:01 AM on May 25, 2013

Torque: it just spins around
posted by pianissimo at 6:16 AM on May 25, 2013

Ubiquitous: never seen one.
posted by Namlit at 6:22 AM on May 25, 2013

Valpolicella: not a ballet.
posted by Namlit at 6:24 AM on May 25, 2013

Wisdom teeth: if they brought wisdom, why are they usually extracted at the first opportunity?
posted by pianissimo at 7:19 AM on May 25, 2013

X-Rays: they prevent me from hiding gems and coins in my stomach
posted by Sticherbeast at 7:42 AM on May 25, 2013

Yog-Sothoth: gets all moldy if not aired out frequently. And have you ever tried airing out an outer god? That'll kill your whole weekend
posted by ook at 7:45 AM on May 25, 2013

Zebra crossings - where are the frikken zebras, hey?
posted by Ahab at 7:49 AM on May 25, 2013

America's next fast-food trend is...
posted by box at 8:10 AM on May 25, 2013

BBLTB: Bacon, lettuce and tomato, served between two slices of Canadian bacon.
posted by box at 8:11 AM on May 25, 2013

Chicken toes: Chicken fingers too big? Popcorn chicken too little? America, your prayers have been answered!
posted by box at 8:11 AM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]

Dingo's Kidneys.
posted by h00py at 8:16 AM on May 25, 2013

Eatballs (specialty of the new furniture store REEKEA)
posted by Namlit at 8:22 AM on May 25, 2013

Frenzy Fritters (contain caffeine)
posted by Namlit at 8:24 AM on May 25, 2013

Guppy Rings - small fish cunningly formed into circles, breaded and fried.
posted by h00py at 8:25 AM on May 25, 2013

Groundhog: Groundhog deluxe, Groundhog wraps, Groundhog nuggets (don't ask), BBQ Groundhog
posted by Namlit at 8:25 AM on May 25, 2013

It's official. As of this comment, this thread is now the longest MetaTalk thread in history.
posted by RichardP at 8:26 AM on May 25, 2013

Jerky Pops.
posted by box at 8:27 AM on May 25, 2013

Hasting back to the topic at hand. Short minute of glory-thoughts, though
posted by Namlit at 8:27 AM on May 25, 2013

Keystone McMeal. A new crossover-low carb creation with three lettuce leaves, five slices of bacon, a cube of whale blubber, a fish-burger in the shape of a duck, three olives, a maxi coke with free refills and a teaspoon of low-fat yoghurt.
posted by Namlit at 8:33 AM on May 25, 2013

Last lamb Standing. Pork chops arranged in a vase.
posted by Namlit at 8:35 AM on May 25, 2013

Meditation Sensation. Some huge and brown chunk of wtf with a mango sauce.
posted by Namlit at 8:42 AM on May 25, 2013

McRib Nuggetwich Deluxe.
posted by box at 8:43 AM on May 25, 2013

Naggers. Doubtful ingredients.
posted by Namlit at 8:44 AM on May 25, 2013

Orio rings. Like onion rings
posted by Namlit at 8:44 AM on May 25, 2013

Pink Ketchup: Finally, ladies, there's a ketchup that's just for you! (A fractional percentage of after-tax net profits will be donated to a quasi-legitimate breast cancer charity in exchange for a huge tax advantage.)
posted by box at 8:50 AM on May 25, 2013

Quesadillos. They taste like chicken, with melted cheese - and come in Giant, 9 Banded and Pink Fairy flavours!
posted by peagood at 8:53 AM on May 25, 2013

Raspcherries. Scratchy in your smoothie
posted by Namlit at 8:55 AM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]

Scrappy-Doo Snacks (but we can soon file them next to New Coke and Garlic Cake)
posted by peagood at 8:56 AM on May 25, 2013

Toaster Tacos (available in cool ranch, sour patch, or all natural MSG)
posted by ook at 9:04 AM on May 25, 2013

Urchin in clay. Seems to be traditional.
posted by Namlit at 9:27 AM on May 25, 2013

Vegan turkey. A compromise
posted by Namlit at 9:27 AM on May 25, 2013

Wrigglers. Animated French Fries
posted by Namlit at 9:28 AM on May 25, 2013

Xacuti is pretty tasty.
posted by Lizard at 9:47 AM on May 25, 2013

X-Flies. An attempt to make people eat more insects.
posted by Namlit at 9:51 AM on May 25, 2013

Zoolamari fritti. Like crab sticks: can be made of pretty much any type of animal. They must come in rings and rubbery consistencies.
posted by Namlit at 9:55 AM on May 25, 2013

Avoid the responsibility of defining the next rule set by referring to it in the self-referential abstract
posted by ook at 10:27 AM on May 25, 2013

[Aand yes!

Here's the place to vent my exhila-something-tion about "It's official. As of this comment, this thread is now the longest MetaTalk thread in history." Sidebar material. Podcast material. Yay us.

Now what]
posted by Namlit at 10:29 AM on May 25, 2013

Be so kind and give another example
posted by Namlit at 10:30 AM on May 25, 2013

Carefully eschew specificity.
posted by box at 10:37 AM on May 25, 2013

Deviate from explication: you don't want the marks catching on
posted by ook at 10:41 AM on May 25, 2013

Examples of people not wearing pants (with or without marks).
posted by arcticseal at 10:51 AM on May 25, 2013

Figure 7b [refer to supplemental documentation]
posted by ook at 10:53 AM on May 25, 2013

Go to appendix, find footnote referring to Introduction; footnote there refers to article by same author out of print. Qed.
posted by Namlit at 11:05 AM on May 25, 2013

Hidden elements contain the most visible information
posted by ook at 11:14 AM on May 25, 2013

In science, unsupported statements of a statistical character are frowned upon. A sizable part of the community is aware of this fact.
posted by Namlit at 11:42 AM on May 25, 2013

Just think, if this sentence seems confusing then change one kangaroo.
posted by jeremias at 12:30 PM on May 25, 2013

Kangaroos are so passe, wombats are where it's at.
posted by arcticseal at 12:33 PM on May 25, 2013

Leave room to add details later.
posted by box at 12:51 PM on May 25, 2013

Moon-unit Zapper, call out to the Lagrange avocado, chocolate, and Axlotl, signalling a borrowed vocabulary, and spooky action at a distance, seeing evolutionary ghosts (locked in mortal kombat with Darwin's Ghosts), I've eschewed specificity, but it tasted a little nondescript.
posted by infinite intimation at 12:58 PM on May 25, 2013

Nondescript? I've tasted specificity specifically, and found it quite descript.
posted by donnagirl at 1:00 PM on May 25, 2013

Omit needed words.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:01 PM on May 25, 2013

Paralepsis is something I'm not willing to mention in this context.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:02 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]

Questioning your intent is not something I'm going to do.
posted by donnagirl at 1:09 PM on May 25, 2013

Rationally seen, if one would begin one's experiment, which has previously been outlined in detail, and has prepared all the ingredients beforehand. The outcome would, then, provide. Let's consider the problem of falsification, however. It is an issue that researchers even in the nineteenth century, but to inconclusive results. That said, our team felt that there were sufficient reasons to proceed with the exercise and has not been disappoint.
posted by Namlit at 1:54 PM on May 25, 2013

Simplify.
posted by box at 2:15 PM on May 25, 2013

Terseness by the reader cannot justify ever
posted by Namlit at 2:23 PM on May 25, 2013

Unless there is, as explained in footnote 3.
posted by Namlit at 2:24 PM on May 25, 2013

Vagueness of definition has forced me to abandon the term "Non-sequitur" (also the existence of a comic strip by that name), in favor of the more specific "Anti-sequitur".
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:01 PM on May 25, 2013

Which species has always been extinct?
posted by jeremias at 3:06 PM on May 25, 2013

X does not mark a spot, ° marks a spot.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:08 PM on May 25, 2013

You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:12 PM on May 25, 2013

Alternative universes never do that. See what I mean?
posted by Namlit at 4:03 PM on May 25, 2013

Zerberus now takes one of my legs and starts pulling. slooooow-ly. Attadog
posted by Namlit at 4:04 PM on May 25, 2013

Better the devil you know than the New Jersey Devil, you know?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:12 PM on May 25, 2013

Cat Dance
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:14 PM on May 25, 2013

Doctor Who's most recent episodes had me rather confused, until I realized the first episode of Doctor Who ever broadcast was the BBC's first regularly scheduled show after its special news coverage of the JFK assassination, and his current companion has three names ending in Oswald.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:18 PM on May 25, 2013

Everybody: 3700!!!
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:21 PM on May 25, 2013

Four-thousand four-hundred fifteen until we get to the 'whole site' record...
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:22 PM on May 25, 2013

Grant application. We need a grant application! (And I need some sleep. Almost full moon, not noon...)
posted by Namlit at 4:41 PM on May 25, 2013

Holiday weekend should see us over the top as people avoid relations.
posted by arcticseal at 4:44 PM on May 25, 2013

I wish it was a holiday weekend here... Or should that be I wish it were a holiday weekend? Please discuss.
posted by pianissimo at 6:04 PM on May 25, 2013

Is Memorial Day really a relative-avoiding kind of holiday? IME it's a oh shit what do you mean school is closed today I had no idea now I have a four year old to entertain all day kind of holiday
posted by ook at 6:05 PM on May 25, 2013

Just starting to appear that for THIS holiday weekend, people are avoiding this thread. (Then again, MetaFilter has more of what I consider 'relations' for me than Real Life).
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:05 PM on May 25, 2013

'k, over an hour break between comments and I still manage to post out of order one minute after someone else. I have a talent
posted by ook at 6:09 PM on May 25, 2013

Looks like you're just lucky that way, ook.
posted by pianissimo at 6:34 PM on May 25, 2013

Maybe my family just isn't very holiday-oriented, but Memorial Day tends to be a holiday where I am like "What, Mr. NoraReed is off work Monday? Cool, another full day to spend with him. Hooray!"

It's also possible New Mexico isn't a super Memorial Day oriented kinda place.
posted by NoraReed at 6:38 PM on May 25, 2013

New Mexico isn't a super anything oriented kinda place; otherwise, why would it be so hard to take the right turn at Albuquerque?!?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:55 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]

Or we could go with the Weird Al-buquerque (which I saw him perform live on his 2nd Homecoming Concert at Cal Poly U.)
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:02 PM on May 25, 2013

Pbbbt

I am so fucking sick of that joke that I compiled a handy list of other things to make fun of New Mexico and/or Albuquerque for:

we put green chile in everything, including sushi and peanut brittle
we have so much road construction that orange barrels should be the state flower
we call all sodas "coke"
people paint saguaros on all of our tourist shit but they do not grow here

posted by NoraReed at 7:02 PM on May 25, 2013

Quite sorry, but when my family moved from Cleveland to Los Angeles when I was 5 years old, my father drove us in a white 1960 Dodge Dart over Route 66 and the only thing I vividly recalled of the trip, besides the back seat of that car, was the City of Albuquerque. Then I kept seeing it mentioned in Bugs Bunny cartoons and realized I had probably taken a wrong turn myself... and 45 years later, I moved to San Luis Obispo County, just 4 miles from Pismo Beach (where all the clams WERE, they were overfished in the years between the Bugs Bunny cartoon and my ultimate arrival). So it's kinda important to me.

And I have nothing against green chile (but I'm allergic to peanuts so I'll never have it in brittle)
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:12 PM on May 25, 2013

Route 66 is kind of awesome.

I can see that. It's just that the Weird Al reference and the Bugs Bunny thing are sort of the only thing people know about this town.

They could at least make fun of the Shins. Or Freddie Prinze Jr.
posted by NoraReed at 7:22 PM on May 25, 2013

Saw that wrong as "Weird Al-burlesque" and had some very complicated thoughts.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:23 PM on May 25, 2013

To give you some other frame of reference, after I moved into San Luis Obispo County, famed MeFite Front Page Poster Person filthy light thief moved FROM there TO New Mexico (he never specifically said Albuquerque, but if it'd been Santa Fe or even Roswell, I think he'd have been more open about it).
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:28 PM on May 25, 2013

Utah has very few Tex-Mex restaurants, I've noticed. I wonder why.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:30 PM on May 25, 2013

Verily, were it Los Cruces flt moved to I could see them not mentioning it. And that is our second largest city in population. But it is first in population to boringness ratio.

Does Utah have other Mexican places? Or just not much Tex-Mex?
posted by NoraReed at 7:33 PM on May 25, 2013

Willard Mitt Romney's ancestors lived in Mexico, and yet his Spanish is not as good as his French. I wonder why.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:34 PM on May 25, 2013

Weird Al Burlesque, you say? It's been done. Twice.
Mind blown.
Eyes ripped out.
Head 'sploded.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:37 PM on May 25, 2013

X's are in Texas. All of them.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:38 PM on May 25, 2013

Yeah, I'm not clicking on that. That sounds terrifying.
posted by NoraReed at 7:39 PM on May 25, 2013

Zero chance of me clicking on that. I'm keeping my mind pure for marriage.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:42 PM on May 25, 2013

Any link like that is something upon which I will not click.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:43 PM on May 25, 2013

Better things to do with my time than click on a link like that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:43 PM on May 25, 2013

Cannot. Unsee...
posted by pianissimo at 7:44 PM on May 25, 2013

Caww! I am a crow! Who is not clicking on that!
posted by NoraReed at 7:45 PM on May 25, 2013

DON'T CLICK! DON'T CLICK! DON'T CLICK! DON'T CLICK! DON'T CLICK!
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:45 PM on May 25, 2013

Even small children know better than to click on a link like that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:46 PM on May 25, 2013

Fucking links like that will fuck you up.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:46 PM on May 25, 2013

Good links are plentiful. But a link like that... that's just bad.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:47 PM on May 25, 2013

Heaven help anyone who clicks on a link like that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:49 PM on May 25, 2013

I get it, I get it. Bad link, bad link. Bad enough I Googled "Weird Al Burlesque" and it jumped right out at me. Bad Google.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:50 PM on May 25, 2013

Just kinda wishing cortex had also Googled it...
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:51 PM on May 25, 2013

Know that I don't think that you yourself are bad. But the link is bad, and it may have corrupted you with its bad linkiness. I blame the link itself, and I'm praying for you.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:53 PM on May 25, 2013

Link bad. Jesus good.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:54 PM on May 25, 2013

Maybe, in your defense, I should click on the link. But no, that would be bad.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:56 PM on May 25, 2013

Nope. Don't do it.
posted by NoraReed at 7:57 PM on May 25, 2013

Not sure whether or not to click on the link. Now I'm praying for myself.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:57 PM on May 25, 2013

Only a fool would risk clicking on that kind of link.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:58 PM on May 25, 2013

Perhaps the Surgeon General should issue a warning about links like that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:03 PM on May 25, 2013

Quite a few years ago, I clicked on a link like that. I'm not proud of that fact.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:11 PM on May 25, 2013

Really paying for my bad link click choices now.
posted by pianissimo at 8:20 PM on May 25, 2013

So it is. We are all really just one click away from a bad link.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:23 PM on May 25, 2013

This is why someone needs to invent a brain scrubber.
posted by pianissimo at 8:25 PM on May 25, 2013

Ultimately though, a time machine would also work.
posted by pianissimo at 8:26 PM on May 25, 2013

Unless I am mistaken, the link is not really that bad. But to find out, I would have to click it, and this I will never do.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:26 PM on May 25, 2013

Visited links used to be purple and unvisited links used to be blue in the old days. And when you clicked the link, it turned red. I think it should still turn red if it's a bad link, so people have some kind of warning.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:28 PM on May 25, 2013

We got us a Bad Link.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:30 PM on May 25, 2013

X-rated links again? At least, I assume that it's X-rated.

I'm not going to click on that link. Don't make me alphabetize my reasons.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:32 PM on May 25, 2013

Your link is bad, and you should feel bad.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:33 PM on May 25, 2013

Zero chance of me clicking on any links for the rest of the week. I'm too pure for that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:34 PM on May 25, 2013

AVOCADOS
posted by NoraReed at 8:34 PM on May 25, 2013

BANANAS
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:35 PM on May 25, 2013

CHERRIES
posted by pianissimo at 8:36 PM on May 25, 2013

DATES
is it date night already?
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:39 PM on May 25, 2013

ELDERBERRIES
Thank you for not doing "dingleberries"
posted by NoraReed at 8:39 PM on May 25, 2013

FIGS
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:40 PM on May 25, 2013

GRAPES
posted by NoraReed at 8:41 PM on May 25, 2013

GUAVAS
posted by pianissimo at 8:41 PM on May 25, 2013

HUCKLE BERRIES
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:44 PM on May 25, 2013

ITA PALM
posted by Dr. Zira at 8:51 PM on May 25, 2013

J is for Pachyrhizus Erosus
I hope you've gotten over your lack of trust in me to click the Huckleberries links... if not, you won't know what I'm talking about here unless you click... bwahahahahaaa...
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:52 PM on May 25, 2013

KUMQUAT
posted by box at 9:24 PM on May 25, 2013

LEEK
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:25 PM on May 25, 2013

LETTUCE not get smutty here, with all this talk of kumquats.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:25 PM on May 25, 2013

MELONS. She had some big ones. Very tasty.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:26 PM on May 25, 2013

NUTS.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:27 PM on May 25, 2013

OKRA (Winfrey)
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:28 PM on May 25, 2013

PEA on me.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:30 PM on May 25, 2013

Quat? you could've picked Papaya, Peach, Pear, Pecan, Pepper, Persimmon, Pimiento, Pineapple, Plum, Pomegranate, Potato or Pumpkin and you picked PEA?
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:31 PM on May 25, 2013

SUCCOTASH this.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:35 PM on May 25, 2013

RADISH THE THOUGHT!
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:37 PM on May 25, 2013

RUTABAGA (no relation to Rula Lenska, victim of the Great VO5 non-celebrity endorsement goof)
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:37 PM on May 25, 2013

TOMATILLOS
are they a fruit or a vegetable? that depends on whether you are using a botonist's definition or a layman's definition! however everyone agrees: different from tomatoes
posted by NoraReed at 9:37 PM on May 25, 2013

TURNIIP YOUR NOSE AT THAT!
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:37 PM on May 25, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, '"fruits and vegetables" is a derogatory term for homosexual quadriplegiacs.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:39 PM on May 25, 2013

VEGETABLE. Why don't any vegetables start with the letter V?
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:40 PM on May 25, 2013

WATERMELON, WATERCRESS, WATER CHESTNUT, no dry fruits or veggies here...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:43 PM on May 25, 2013

X a few more off your shopping list...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:43 PM on May 25, 2013

You didn't eat all your vegetables, so you can't have dessert.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:45 PM on May 25, 2013

ZUCCHINI. Mark Zucchiniberg.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:46 PM on May 25, 2013

YAM WHAT I YAM
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:47 PM on May 25, 2013

Afropop is the new pop.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:48 PM on May 25, 2013

Beta testing is the new testing.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:48 PM on May 25, 2013

Carbon dioxide poisoning is the new poisoning, displacing carbon monoxide poisoning for the number one position.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:52 PM on May 25, 2013

Duck Dynasty is the new Dynasty.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:15 PM on May 25, 2013

Eek! I just missed posting Donuts for all!
posted by y2karl at 10:15 PM on May 25, 2013

Fuck a duck comes to mind as well.....
posted by y2karl at 10:16 PM on May 25, 2013

Great googly moogly also applies.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:19 PM on May 25, 2013

Humina humina?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:43 PM on May 25, 2013

I think I need to listen to some more not-a-parody Weird Al music, but I could be wrong.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:17 PM on May 25, 2013

Just keep going...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:12 AM on May 26, 2013

Keep going...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:12 AM on May 26, 2013

Late... it's late... but not TOO late...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:28 AM on May 26, 2013

Mood setting. It's a dirty job, but... well... nobody HAS to do it...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:29 AM on May 26, 2013

Newsick is the new music
posted by Namlit at 1:02 AM on May 26, 2013

Ordeal is the new deal
posted by Namlit at 1:03 AM on May 26, 2013

Pinterest is the new - this is wayyy too easy...
posted by Namlit at 1:04 AM on May 26, 2013

Quenching is the new drenching (hadda do sumpn with this...)
posted by Namlit at 1:06 AM on May 26, 2013

Sunday. Good morning!
posted by Namlit at 1:11 AM on May 26, 2013

Regret is all I get.
posted by Namlit at 1:15 AM on May 26, 2013

Tachyon antitelephones could probably solve this problem.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:16 AM on May 26, 2013

Unstern is the old death star
posted by Namlit at 1:20 AM on May 26, 2013

Vice is the new... not quite yet.
posted by Namlit at 1:24 AM on May 26, 2013

Valley Fever is the new Night Fever.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:24 AM on May 26, 2013

Wheeze is the new breeze
posted by Namlit at 1:24 AM on May 26, 2013

Westeros is the New Old West.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:24 AM on May 26, 2013

x ray is the new rat spray
posted by Namlit at 1:25 AM on May 26, 2013

Yes Men are the new Mad Men.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:26 AM on May 26, 2013

Zero is the new hero
posted by Namlit at 1:30 AM on May 26, 2013

Aaand Post, of course, is the new Lost (still can't get over it that usps lost me an n-scale locomotive, while claiming that it was delivered. It blipped on my computer, but nobody was delivering it, and that was that).
posted by Namlit at 1:32 AM on May 26, 2013

Big Data is the new Big Oil (and surprisingly not much cleaner)
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:38 AM on May 26, 2013

Cat Beards are the new Cat Bread
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:39 AM on May 26, 2013

Doctor Who is the new Doctor Phil
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:39 AM on May 26, 2013

Emo is the new Elmo
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:40 AM on May 26, 2013

Furry monsters like Elmo express their feelings quite readily
posted by lordaych at 2:43 AM on May 26, 2013

Greater monsters can just get corporate jobs.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:48 AM on May 26, 2013

Hardly monsters ever sleep (or so it seems).
posted by Namlit at 2:50 AM on May 26, 2013

Initiating monsters is a specialist job.
posted by Namlit at 2:51 AM on May 26, 2013

Juvenile monsters shed hair in showers.
posted by Namlit at 2:52 AM on May 26, 2013

Key to monster grooming is patience.
posted by Namlit at 2:52 AM on May 26, 2013

Luscious monster hair the reward.
posted by Namlit at 2:53 AM on May 26, 2013

Morosity is monsters' trademark.
posted by Namlit at 2:55 AM on May 26, 2013

Notoriety is monsters' daily bread.
posted by Namlit at 2:55 AM on May 26, 2013

Oblivion is not what monsters fall into.
posted by Namlit at 2:57 AM on May 26, 2013

Prepare yourself for the abyss, for monsters are in it, and if you look at them, they will grar.
posted by lordaych at 2:59 AM on May 26, 2013

Perseverance an avenue to a monster's success (especially for the under-the-bed variety).
posted by Namlit at 2:59 AM on May 26, 2013

Quizzical monsters mess with our minds.
posted by Namlit at 3:00 AM on May 26, 2013

Ravenous monsters are to be avoided (or fed).
posted by Namlit at 3:00 AM on May 26, 2013

Seldom a monster won't grar (no matter whether you look or not).
posted by Namlit at 3:02 AM on May 26, 2013

Time heals all monsters.
posted by h00py at 3:30 AM on May 26, 2013

Underwater monsters are the scariest.
posted by bardophile at 4:07 AM on May 26, 2013

Vile underwear drawer monsters scarier.
posted by Namlit at 4:37 AM on May 26, 2013

Whereas unwashed monsters are the norm.
posted by Namlit at 4:38 AM on May 26, 2013

Zealous monster grooming, as said, is to be preferred.
posted by Namlit at 4:41 AM on May 26, 2013

Xorn pop up from under the server room and eat the out-of-sequence comment.
posted by Dr Dracator at 4:45 AM on May 26, 2013

You know, monsters just won't be ignored!
posted by h00py at 5:01 AM on May 26, 2013

All mine are. Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.
posted by flabdablet at 5:11 AM on May 26, 2013

Blergh. Then you are the monster!
posted by h00py at 5:23 AM on May 26, 2013

Bugs Bunny's philosophy when he was a haredresser cutting a monster's hair; "An interesting monster deserves an interesting hairdo."
posted by third rail at 5:23 AM on May 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

Coincidentally, my monster has great hair. That fucking monster. Is it wrong to be jealous of a monster?
posted by h00py at 5:26 AM on May 26, 2013

Do spare me the image of a fucking monster.
posted by Namlit at 5:33 AM on May 26, 2013

Even though I have saucy monster links at hand?
posted by h00py at 5:36 AM on May 26, 2013

Great example of monsterly musicological writing, and somehow on topic: "Three men worked in the church on the erection of an enormous organ." I have not made this up, I swear.
posted by Namlit at 5:39 AM on May 26, 2013

F skipped for obvious reasons.
posted by Namlit at 5:39 AM on May 26, 2013

Having callously and with little regret stuffed up the order on no fewer than two occasions, I hereby sentence you to be exposed before your peers: Tear Down The Wall!
posted by h00py at 5:47 AM on May 26, 2013

I don't want to derail though, so have a look at this.
posted by h00py at 6:04 AM on May 26, 2013

Just wondering what I've missed since comment one thousand something.
posted by double block and bleed at 6:52 AM on May 26, 2013

Kangaroos. You've missed lots of kangaroos.
posted by donnagirl at 6:58 AM on May 26, 2013

Knowing about Goran (with an umlaut) and his unnatural obsession with peanut paste could be interesting.
posted by h00py at 6:59 AM on May 26, 2013

Lest there be a misunderstanding: Göran with umlaut pronounces himself Yeu-run, and not Goo-ran. He hasn't yet solved the problem of David Niven's leg lying in his garden, because he was disturbed by a lot of characters intervening and messing up the storyline. It's really like in "Lost". Nobody ever has a clue what's going on, no matter whether they're in the show or watching, and the last episode brings them, and you, further than ever from knowing the truth.
posted by Namlit at 7:16 AM on May 26, 2013

Massive amounts of monsters you also missed.
posted by Namlit at 7:18 AM on May 26, 2013

No, they are lurking still. Biding their time.
posted by h00py at 7:26 AM on May 26, 2013

Only they are not alone. Smeldicott dwells with them, and Frodo and the foot encased within the 70's tennis shoe which may or may not be David Niven's, and the tentacle. O ho, the link between these worlds is at hand! Grasp hold of the tentacle and take flight!
posted by h00py at 7:31 AM on May 26, 2013

Perception can deceive. I still think that the tentacle was just a bit of tenton sticking out and that someone's phantasy was stronger than their skills of finding their glasses to take a closer look.
posted by Namlit at 7:36 AM on May 26, 2013

Quite possibly could have been an intestine?
posted by h00py at 7:47 AM on May 26, 2013

Right. Orc, to be precise. "Looks like meat is back on the menu boys!" Watch slowly, frame by frame. Have a bucket ready.
posted by Namlit at 8:35 AM on May 26, 2013

Sooo, this is about the best Ring Trilogy quotes, right...
posted by Namlit at 8:36 AM on May 26, 2013

Tenton. I wrote TENTON. Arghgh. Better put my tent on. Might rain. Or people looking.
posted by Namlit at 8:38 AM on May 26, 2013

Unsure if this was Goran's tenton or if it's just some nice tendon for a bowl of pho.
posted by arcticseal at 8:40 AM on May 26, 2013

Vigorously tenderize the orc tendon before roasting in a 350 degree oven on a bed of pipeweed.
posted by shothotbot at 8:54 AM on May 26, 2013

"What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly!"

[Better stew it...]
posted by Namlit at 9:27 AM on May 26, 2013

X MARKS THE RIDDER uh RIDER uh oh hell just shoot him
posted by ook at 11:48 AM on May 26, 2013

Zonk zonk is the sound of the sword re-forged. (Whew. Thanks for taking care of the x)
posted by Namlit at 11:56 AM on May 26, 2013

y'all forgot 'y' again
posted by Elementary Penguin at 11:57 AM on May 26, 2013

Asinine is the fellowship's endless lingering in that dwarf-tomb thingy when the doom-doom starts dooming. "Fly, you fools" indeed.
posted by Namlit at 11:58 AM on May 26, 2013

Yodeling is not done in the realm of Rohan is why I skipped that one.
posted by Namlit at 11:59 AM on May 26, 2013

Beorn, that old grumpy honey licker, never set his foot onto New Zealand soil.
posted by Namlit at 12:00 PM on May 26, 2013

Cataclysmic cathartic Caradhras is really just a bit of rock with a few props and one lone old man reciting garbled syllables with reverb put on max. (extra material spoiler alert...)
posted by Namlit at 12:03 PM on May 26, 2013

Did I sleep through a monster attack? Or just a monster brunch?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:06 PM on May 26, 2013

Everybody please note: the DON'T PANIC sign has been extinguished, as of the end of Douglas Adams Towel Day, so feel free to PANIC... and use wet-naps.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:08 PM on May 26, 2013

Either is fine. Both actually. First the attack, then the brunch.
I believe it's Lord of the Rings now, but I can be wrong.
posted by Namlit at 12:08 PM on May 26, 2013

Fancy eyebrows are Elrond's specialty. Every phrase a new frown. Like an old-school pianist playing late Beethoven.
posted by Namlit at 12:09 PM on May 26, 2013

Göran is our mascot. Sometimes he needs to be given a rest to have his full-body costume cleaned.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:30 PM on May 26, 2013

He does also occasionally need his umlauts rotated.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:31 PM on May 26, 2013

I just discovered "the secrets of Morning People". Fascinating. (and 68% less disturbing than the link that previously disturbed you all SO MUCH)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:35 PM on May 26, 2013

Just as every Swede, Göran doesn't need any silly contraptions for getting fit in the morning, he just makes Swedish coffee, which can taste like a mixture of brewed peat ashes and ground winter tires.
posted by Namlit at 12:57 PM on May 26, 2013

Kermit enters the scene. Oh no, it is Gollum.
posted by Namlit at 3:27 PM on May 26, 2013

Looking up from his cup of Swedish coffee, as its artistically shaped froth changed from Kermit to Gollum to a disinterested Adipose, Göran was less surprised than he should have been to see Chuck Testa carrying a perfectly re-created (he hoped) statue of David Niven, less one leg.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:41 PM on May 26, 2013

Mark Evanier tells some thoroughly wacked-out stories about Hollywood on his blog (he's as old as I am with much more experience and success), but this one about Liberace may top them all. (Warning: Contains reference to dry cleaning fluid)
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:49 PM on May 26, 2013

Now for something completely different that you've almost certainly seen before...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:55 PM on May 26, 2013

Outside the Interzone does a far better job of curating the seemingly superfluous but seriously significant content found on the web far better than I can. I surrender all to it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:09 PM on May 26, 2013

Pachydermatitus

Never forget.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:10 PM on May 26, 2013

Quirrel

oops, Squirrel.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:13 PM on May 26, 2013

Right. I'm in the middle of translating (NL-EN) a text about the use of the metronome in 19th century France. Nothing can shock me now, not even quirrels.
posted by Namlit at 4:54 PM on May 26, 2013

Something about the concentrated dosages of healthy insanity in the work of Michael Kupperman was so overwhelming that I felt compelled, despite not posting to the MeFi Front Page since last month, to do so for his latest: "Quinception" MeFiSelfLink.

(and the frustrating thing is that I discovered this two minutes after posting my previous silly comment for the letter Q)
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:35 PM on May 26, 2013

Truly time for a Göran comic. I see a connection...
posted by Namlit at 6:09 PM on May 26, 2013

Umpteen years ago, when They Might Be Giants came out with "Istanbul, Not Constantinople", I considered writing some additional verses that could be added about the renaming of other cities. (My then residential L.A. suburb of Sepulveda had just been re-christened 'North Hills' for rather silly reasons) Of all the things I thought up, this was my favorite...
"So you want to go to Ho Chi Minh City,
All of Vietnam is so very pretty,
I got no bad deal with Ho Chi Minh City,
But let's just let Saigons be Saigons"
Get it? Saigons? Bygones? Just be glad I didn't tell you my least favorite.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:17 PM on May 26, 2013

Very well, let's just let Görans be Görans.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:28 PM on May 26, 2013

Wall.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:30 PM on May 26, 2013

X does not mark that spot.
It's not a Walmart, not Wall-E, not Waldo, just a Wall.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:33 PM on May 26, 2013

Yars Revenge, return of the 80's video game run . . .
posted by jeremias at 6:36 PM on May 26, 2013

Zorba the Greek. Never figured out whether to like or loathe it.
posted by bardophile at 9:24 PM on May 26, 2013

All My Children was a boring soap opera.
posted by double block and bleed at 9:36 PM on May 26, 2013

Bold and the Beautiful was boring, too.
posted by double block and bleed at 9:37 PM on May 26, 2013

Can't stand any soap opera, really.
posted by double block and bleed at 9:38 PM on May 26, 2013

Dark Shadows was a great soap opera.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:38 PM on May 26, 2013

Everyone look!
posted by double block and bleed at 9:40 PM on May 26, 2013

Four thousand!
posted by double block and bleed at 9:41 PM on May 26, 2013

Hell, off by 100. Fuck.
posted by double block and bleed at 9:42 PM on May 26, 2013

General Hospital. You missed General Hospital.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:43 PM on May 26, 2013

I can't read the tiny line numbers
posted by double block and bleed at 9:43 PM on May 26, 2013

I think we can make up that hundred pretty quickly.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:43 PM on May 26, 2013

Just limit your comments to a single sentence or less.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:44 PM on May 26, 2013

Know what I mean?
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:44 PM on May 26, 2013

Like this.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:44 PM on May 26, 2013

Meh
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:45 PM on May 26, 2013

No
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:45 PM on May 26, 2013

Oh
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:46 PM on May 26, 2013

OK
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:46 PM on May 26, 2013

PU
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:46 PM on May 26, 2013

oops
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:46 PM on May 26, 2013

Q?
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:46 PM on May 26, 2013

Quick!
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:47 PM on May 26, 2013

Quite a good idea
posted by double block and bleed at 9:47 PM on May 26, 2013

Ra.

Ra, ra.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:47 PM on May 26, 2013

Repeat after me!
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:47 PM on May 26, 2013

So...
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:47 PM on May 26, 2013

Repeating letters will eat up a lot of comments
posted by double block and bleed at 9:48 PM on May 26, 2013

Time fries.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:48 PM on May 26, 2013

Uh
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:49 PM on May 26, 2013

Very... no, not very at all...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:49 PM on May 26, 2013

Shit! we forgot s!
posted by double block and bleed at 9:49 PM on May 26, 2013

What the...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:49 PM on May 26, 2013

Xylophone is fun to play
posted by double block and bleed at 9:50 PM on May 26, 2013

XOO
OXO
XOX

X wins!
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:51 PM on May 26, 2013

Yo!
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:51 PM on May 26, 2013

You guys!~ Stop with the repeats!
posted by bardophile at 9:51 PM on May 26, 2013

Zip it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:52 PM on May 26, 2013

Zero as a denominator results in undefined
posted by double block and bleed at 9:52 PM on May 26, 2013

All we can do is all we can do.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:52 PM on May 26, 2013

BOO
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:53 PM on May 26, 2013

Best effort
posted by double block and bleed at 9:53 PM on May 26, 2013

CEO
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:53 PM on May 26, 2013

Cthulhu?
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:53 PM on May 26, 2013

DEA
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:53 PM on May 26, 2013

EKG
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:54 PM on May 26, 2013

FBI
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:54 PM on May 26, 2013

FBI
posted by double block and bleed at 9:54 PM on May 26, 2013

FCC
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:55 PM on May 26, 2013

GOD
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:55 PM on May 26, 2013

HBO
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:55 PM on May 26, 2013

IOU
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:55 PM on May 26, 2013

I have to go now. Goodbye.
posted by double block and bleed at 9:56 PM on May 26, 2013

JFK
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:56 PM on May 26, 2013

K.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:56 PM on May 26, 2013

LSMFT
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:56 PM on May 26, 2013

MIA
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:57 PM on May 26, 2013

no, you don't remember that one? Very old cigarette commercial: "Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco"
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:58 PM on May 26, 2013

NSFW
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:58 PM on May 26, 2013

OK corral
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:59 PM on May 26, 2013

PNG
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:59 PM on May 26, 2013

PSA
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:59 PM on May 26, 2013

pb may be noticing the effect we're having on the server...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:59 PM on May 26, 2013

QED
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:59 PM on May 26, 2013

RCA
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:00 PM on May 26, 2013

STP
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:00 PM on May 26, 2013

SS
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:00 PM on May 26, 2013

TV
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:00 PM on May 26, 2013

UVA
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:00 PM on May 26, 2013

VJ
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:01 PM on May 26, 2013

W3C
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:02 PM on May 26, 2013

XXX
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:02 PM on May 26, 2013

Yeah, now we're in striking distance of 4000.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:03 PM on May 26, 2013

ZAP!
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:04 PM on May 26, 2013

Bachflip!
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:04 PM on May 26, 2013

ZOO

One row in a bad game of tic-tac-toe.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:05 PM on May 26, 2013

Aw come on...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:05 PM on May 26, 2013

Can't we all just get a blog?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:09 PM on May 26, 2013

Don't...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:09 PM on May 26, 2013

Eh
posted by bardophile at 10:23 PM on May 26, 2013

F... Everything
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:27 PM on May 26, 2013

Go on, then.
posted by bardophile at 10:38 PM on May 26, 2013

hmmm... the funny pages' beloved Lio seems to have brought something back to life.

this will surely wendell.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:41 PM on May 26, 2013

'I just wanna say this.' Well, you're dead now, so shut up.
posted by slothhog at 10:49 PM on May 26, 2013

Just say nnn...nnnn...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:51 PM on May 26, 2013

Keep going, keep going, keep... uh oh...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:08 PM on May 26, 2013

Krusty the Clown would do a great Karma Chameleon.
posted by bardophile at 11:09 PM on May 26, 2013

Lenny does a great lindy hop.
posted by dogwalker at 1:36 AM on May 27, 2013

Man, I love you guys.
posted by Gordafarin at 1:38 AM on May 27, 2013

No love for the dolls?
posted by bardophile at 1:57 AM on May 27, 2013

Out of body, out of mind. That's what she told me.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:23 AM on May 27, 2013

Please don't do that, I begged. It's not worth it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:23 AM on May 27, 2013

Quit telling me what to do. I've made up my mind about this.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:24 AM on May 27, 2013

Right you are. Do as you will.
posted by bardophile at 2:25 AM on May 27, 2013

Really, don't do it. There are people who love you. Ending your life isn't a good way to handle this.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:25 AM on May 27, 2013

Suicide is the only way out. I don't see any other way.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:26 AM on May 27, 2013

That's not the only way. There are other ways.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:27 AM on May 27, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, there isn't some other way. Please let me do this, I've thought about it and I know what I want. Please stop interfering.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:28 AM on May 27, 2013

Voices in my head tell me that your crazy if you want to end it that way. This thing is too precious. You understand that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:30 AM on May 27, 2013

Where were the voices during my pain? My choice is my own. Why do you care?
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:31 AM on May 27, 2013

There's no way I will let you go. Society wants me to start sentences with an X, but that doesn't matter.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:32 AM on May 27, 2013

X means "ex". It means "previous", or "former", or "not present". Maybe you should go with that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:33 AM on May 27, 2013

You don't realize how much you are loved. Please don't do this. Please put the gun down.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:34 AM on May 27, 2013

Zzzzz-bang.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:35 AM on May 27, 2013

Almost everything I ever lost I lost then, and no internet thread will ever replace it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:36 AM on May 27, 2013

But I jest.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:39 AM on May 27, 2013

Course you do. Let's move on, then.
posted by Namlit at 2:41 AM on May 27, 2013

Dragging of heels is not allowed.
posted by Namlit at 2:42 AM on May 27, 2013

Eggs poached. I poach some eggs. I poach some eggs from the nearby egg farm.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:45 AM on May 27, 2013

Fried eggs. Eggs that are fried. I'm not afraid. They're just fried.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:46 AM on May 27, 2013

Got too many eggs in one basket. So now I have one basket per egg. Too many baskets now, though.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:47 AM on May 27, 2013

Hamlet is a play by Shakespeare about eggs, before they learned to spell "omelet" correctly.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:48 AM on May 27, 2013

If an egg were a chicken and chicken were an egg, which one would cross a road first?
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:50 AM on May 27, 2013

Judge, jury, and executioner. All of them had eggs for breakfast.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:51 AM on May 27, 2013

Kitchen crew wasn't happy.
posted by bardophile at 2:53 AM on May 27, 2013

Legs, she knows how to use them. She's got eggs, she knows how to use them.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:54 AM on May 27, 2013

Mega-eggs are one million times better than eggs.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:55 AM on May 27, 2013

Nest Eggs are better still.
posted by adamvasco at 2:57 AM on May 27, 2013

Negation is a serious slap in the face to the egg nation.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:57 AM on May 27, 2013

Ostrich eggs are bigger though.
posted by adamvasco at 2:58 AM on May 27, 2013

Or egg. Or no?

It's a spice.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:58 AM on May 27, 2013

Peg leg egg is an egg with a peg leg.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:59 AM on May 27, 2013

Q-egg-mire
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:03 AM on May 27, 2013

R-egg-ulations
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:03 AM on May 27, 2013

T-egg. You're it!
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:04 AM on May 27, 2013

Soft boiled egg, gentle egg. Doesn't push. Doesn't boil. Only s-egg-ues to the next letter.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:06 AM on May 27, 2013

Scrambled egg is confused about its place in the alphabet.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:07 AM on May 27, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken
an egg can be fried or be baken,
I like my eggs raw
and sipped through a straw
and preferably stirred and not shaken.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:11 AM on May 27, 2013

Veggetarians have a hard time.
posted by Namlit at 3:39 AM on May 27, 2013

Which beggs the question
posted by Namlit at 3:40 AM on May 27, 2013

x shaped eggs would be easier to stack
posted by Namlit at 3:41 AM on May 27, 2013

your egg is my omelet
posted by Namlit at 3:41 AM on May 27, 2013

zurr-eggtion, re.
posted by Namlit at 3:42 AM on May 27, 2013

Another topic bacons at us.
posted by Namlit at 3:43 AM on May 27, 2013

Bad weather, though, no sitting on the bacony.
posted by Namlit at 3:44 AM on May 27, 2013

Can't go bac on the theme of this round.
posted by Namlit at 3:46 AM on May 27, 2013

Doomed to light bacons of hope.
posted by Namlit at 3:48 AM on May 27, 2013

Every time we start digging out memories of by-con days
posted by Namlit at 3:53 AM on May 27, 2013

...flailing for the dropped, forgotten bits, we
posted by Namlit at 3:55 AM on May 27, 2013

get so bloody hungry!
posted by Namlit at 3:55 AM on May 27, 2013

Hey, don't go at this thread all half bac-oned!
posted by pianissimo at 3:59 AM on May 27, 2013

I, for one, welcome our new ovo-lords.
posted by bardophile at 4:20 AM on May 27, 2013

Just 50 grams of salt, 50 grams of brown sugar, 6 grams of pink salt, and a quarter cup of maple syrup. Rub over the pork belly, seal in a ziplock, turn over every day for a week, then smoke.

Bacon.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:55 AM on May 27, 2013

4035 total comments. 2994 since your most recent comment.
posted by R. Mutt at 5:47 AM on May 27, 2013

Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburger. Yes, that is a thing. As far as I can tell, it is designed to turn you off all three foodstuffs for life.
posted by jeremias at 6:06 AM on May 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Looks like all things eventually devolve into bacon after all
posted by ook at 6:18 AM on May 27, 2013

Made coffee just now but apparently forgot to put any coffee in the pot. Again.
posted by ook at 6:21 AM on May 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Now I just have a bowl of coffee-tinted hot water
posted by ook at 6:21 AM on May 27, 2013

Only thing that can solve this is BACON
posted by ook at 6:22 AM on May 27, 2013

perhaps coffee would work better on second thought
posted by ook at 6:23 AM on May 27, 2013

quite a lot better in fact
posted by ook at 6:23 AM on May 27, 2013

(really this repeated comment thing totally feels like cheating, i'mma stop now)
posted by ook at 6:24 AM on May 27, 2013

So, bacon goes in the hot water? Is that how it works?
posted by Kabanos at 6:30 AM on May 27, 2013

This could be the baconning of a beautiful friendship...
posted by pianissimo at 6:33 AM on May 27, 2013

Ultimately, we need more bacon in this thread. I have also had an experience that "is designed to turn you off all three foodstuffs for life": Byers Street Bistro in Staunton Va. used to have waffle fries with cheese and bacon, as a snack. A pile that feeds a family for a week, I swear. Mmmmmmm.
posted by Namlit at 6:34 AM on May 27, 2013

Ventriloquism, on the other hand, is unbaconming
posted by Namlit at 6:36 AM on May 27, 2013

What ook needs is bacon coffee
posted by pianissimo at 6:37 AM on May 27, 2013

xircumspeckt is a very careful German bacon.
posted by Namlit at 6:43 AM on May 27, 2013

Yayy-con
posted by Namlit at 6:43 AM on May 27, 2013

Zapping some bacon in my Black Frier as we speak. Can't wait.
posted by Namlit at 6:44 AM on May 27, 2013

After eggs and bacon, the next topic MUST be Hash Browns.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:58 AM on May 27, 2013

Browns, Hash Browns.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:59 AM on May 27, 2013

Can we have sweet potato hash browns?
posted by Area Man at 7:00 AM on May 27, 2013

Don't eat the Hash Browns after they've turned into Hash Greens.
a public service message
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:09 AM on May 27, 2013

Every Good Boy Deserves Frickinhashbrowns.
posted by Kabanos at 7:12 AM on May 27, 2013

Forgive me for asking, but are hash browns ever referred to in the singular? What is only one? What does that even look like?
posted by peagood at 7:31 AM on May 27, 2013

Gastronomy does not have single hash browns. Just imagine: "yesterday, I had a brown hash for lunch." Nope.
posted by Namlit at 7:34 AM on May 27, 2013

Hush. Don't say the obvious.
posted by Namlit at 7:54 AM on May 27, 2013

It's just like "beer" doesn't have a singular form.

what?
posted by Kabanos at 8:01 AM on May 27, 2013

Just imagine all the beers one could have. And hash browns.
posted by Namlit at 8:14 AM on May 27, 2013

Kegs and kegs.
posted by shothotbot at 9:11 AM on May 27, 2013

LUNCH BREAK!
posted by Kabanos at 10:01 AM on May 27, 2013

My dinner will be székeli goulash. It's been cooking all day. Only I have no sour cream, must take fresh instead. Agony.
posted by Namlit at 10:28 AM on May 27, 2013

Nothing is quite as good as a huge pot of goulash with sauerkraut and Penzeys' smoked paprika.
posted by Namlit at 10:32 AM on May 27, 2013

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

Visiting Budapest was one of my favourite trips ever. I should have packed an extra stomach.
posted by Kabanos at 10:35 AM on May 27, 2013

Pun: the Goulash Archepelago. In fact, it's Pungarian.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:42 AM on May 27, 2013

Question: Did Boris Karloff play a Goulash in one of his early movies or did I remember it wrong?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:49 AM on May 27, 2013

Richter, on the other hand, was a virtuoso, but he never played on a Goulash.
posted by Namlit at 10:52 AM on May 27, 2013

Summary: Goulash is for eating, but don't play with your food.
posted by Namlit at 10:52 AM on May 27, 2013

Taking my leave now. Goulash is waiting.
posted by Namlit at 10:53 AM on May 27, 2013

Unicum for dessert?
posted by Kabanos at 10:58 AM on May 27, 2013

Vile bitters.
posted by Kabanos at 10:59 AM on May 27, 2013

We are about halfway to the site record 8,155 comments after 11 days and 20 hours. If this were a Kickstarter, we'd have a 50/50 shot at beating it. But if this were a Kickstarter, we'd be deleted from MetaFilter. :)
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:12 AM on May 27, 2013

X out anything you consider vile OR bitter.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:12 AM on May 27, 2013

Yeah, well, the bitters (Swedish bitters, to be precise - apparently very healthy as a rub against everything, but utterly undrinkable) are still steeping in a bottle on my kitchen table. They're no dessert material. I've got a humble Ben & Jerry's Peanut butter cup ice cream.
posted by Namlit at 11:19 AM on May 27, 2013

Zounds, I think I missed that part of the conversation, but I believe one can get a singular hash brown in places that serve them as a single unit, like McDonalds. They are like a giant tater gem.
posted by NoraReed at 11:54 AM on May 27, 2013

Are hash browns anything like Rösti? Having never crossed the Atlantic I always struggle with this kind of thing - the complete inability of the English language to use each word for one concept only is not helping at all.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:00 PM on May 27, 2013

Basically, they contain potato, but apart from that they are not really like rosti.
posted by arcticseal at 12:02 PM on May 27, 2013

Clearly not like hash also.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:03 PM on May 27, 2013

Dr. Dracator: Rösti is to Hash Browns as Ballet is to Strip Club.
posted by Kabanos at 12:07 PM on May 27, 2013

Even so, I looked up Rösti on wikipedia and it does seem pretty similar. Hash browns are usually piles of shredded potatoes thrown into a pan and fried. Sometimes people turn them over or cut them up and fry them on multiple sides; this makes them more delicious, crispy and fattening. They are also really, really good cooked in leftover bacon grease (but then, almost everything is really good cooked in leftover bacon grease).

They aren't put into a shape, though, they're just served on a pile.

I think maybe there is a continuum of hash browns to latkes and Rösti is in between, but more on the hash browns side.
posted by NoraReed at 12:08 PM on May 27, 2013

Fattening, crispy and delicious is right up my alley, plus I have some leftover extra-greasy Cretan sausage - looks like I have a plan for breakfast.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:20 PM on May 27, 2013

Gotta put sour cream on them though, whatever they're called.
posted by Kabanos at 12:22 PM on May 27, 2013

Hold on, now-- let's not be hasty with that sour cream. The absolute best thing you can do is throw some shredded cheddar in there right when things are starting to get crispy. Stir it around a bit, flip everything over, get that shit good and mixed in. If you do it right, you can end up with the stuff infused with that crispy cheese goo that always seeps a bit out the side and is the best part of grilled cheese sandwiches and quesadillas.

If you want some extra flavor, throw some roasted, diced green chile in there with the cheese-- it'll infuse everything nicely, and since you're making it yourself you can control how spicy you want. Alternatively you can just throw some carne adovada on top.

I guess you could put sour cream on top of that, though, if you really wanted to. It's pretty good in a burrito, too.

I'm pretty sure about 50% of the comments I've made on metafilter in the past 6 months are about food, most of those about New Mexican food. It's like I've filtered all of my rage and other badfeels into reddit and what remains on metafilter is delicious and smothered in chile and cheese.
posted by NoraReed at 12:29 PM on May 27, 2013

I don't want to get into an argument about hash browns vs. rosti vs. latkes, lest this end up like The Great Latke-Hamantash Debate.
posted by Kabanos at 12:41 PM on May 27, 2013

Just saying, I think that debate looks awesome and delicious. I would like to be involved in a large-scale taste test of many fried potato dishes to find the best one. Maybe throw in some boxty for good measure. You could test less flat ones, too: truffle fries, potato korokke, home fries (maybe with some nice caramelized onions in there), tater gems...
posted by NoraReed at 12:50 PM on May 27, 2013

Korokke sounds lovely - the intersection of southern european and asian cuisines represented by Japanese dishes of Portuguese origin is one of the most delicious instances of WTF on the planet.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:04 PM on May 27, 2013

Love it. I'm drooling already. I insist on the supremacy of eastern european potato pancakes, but I'm open-minded, so I will taste all others until I'm in a potato coma. I had never heard of korokke (does this come from the french "croquette"?), but they sound good. I have also now learned of Korokke in Typhoon, which just makes me love the Japanese more. Made me think of the Waffle House Index.
posted by Kabanos at 1:31 PM on May 27, 2013

Miserably, I'm in fact doing lowish-carb and thus don't have potatoes in the house. More Goulash, yes, but no potatoes. Otherwise I would have tested right away how hash browns and Rösti compare. We can do that, theoretically.
posted by Namlit at 1:40 PM on May 27, 2013

Not practically, though.
posted by Namlit at 1:40 PM on May 27, 2013

Probably not enough like hash browns for this thread, but my attempts to make Grönsakskaka turned out more like latkes or rosti or potato cakes. They were definitely not medallion-shaped, but the recipes were delicious.
posted by peagood at 1:44 PM on May 27, 2013

Quickly, my first experience with 'hash brown patties' was at Arby's where what they called (and still do) "Potato Cakes" were intended as a substitute for french fries (although they caved in and added fries to the menu years later).
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:54 PM on May 27, 2013

Really, Arby's was an appropriate venue for a 'french fries substitute' since what they call the 'Roast Beef' in their sandwiches was one of the earlier 'flaked and formed' pseudo-meats in the fast food biz.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:55 PM on May 27, 2013

Seriously, a Jewish friend of mine in High School (a Catholic high school, where we "Non-Cath" students had to stick together to withstand the ~~Inquisition~~bullying) told me they were most closely related to Latkes, but with less flavor (most notably onions).
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:58 PM on May 27, 2013

Totally, it was when McDonald's started serving Breakfast that they mainstreamed the 'Hash Brown Pattie', because, you know, everything has to be able to be eaten with the fingers, right? (Which did not explain the scrambled eggs and pancakes in styrofoam clamshells)
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:01 PM on May 27, 2013

U were supposed to just open your mouth and pour the contents of the clamshell directly in
posted by ook at 2:03 PM on May 27, 2013

Unrelated, I just scared myself in another MeTa thread.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:04 PM on May 27, 2013

V X MILLION
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:06 PM on May 27, 2013

wendell used to care too much about MetaFilter Milestones
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:08 PM on May 27, 2013

X NUTHIN'
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:09 PM on May 27, 2013

yet now I am heavily invested in a record-setting attempt... but that's just because I want everyone to FORGET the 2012 Election Night Thread
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:10 PM on May 27, 2013

Zeppelin... not.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:11 PM on May 27, 2013

after all it's not the destination, it's the journey.

(Oh who are we kidding it's the destination)
posted by ook at 2:12 PM on May 27, 2013

But man do I love weird fusion cuisine. I find it amazing that curry is a Western dish in Japan because it came via Britain. And one of my favorite foods is bahn mi. That said, I actually am not a huge fan of korokke; it's not super flavorful on its own and the dipping sauce you get with it isn't amazing. It's possible I just haven't had it at a place that does it perfectly, but since my favorite Japanese place does pretty much everything else well, I doubt that. I think I'm just not a fan of that kind of bread crumb; I don't like that fried tonkatsu stuff much either.

It's kind of depressing how much of the food that I love comes from either colonialism or something else involving oppression. I love frybread, I love a lot of the Vietnamese/French stuff. At least massaman curry seems to be mostly just the result of Thai trade with Muslims and not some occupation or some such.
posted by NoraReed at 2:15 PM on May 27, 2013

Colonial cuisine is indeed something weirdly interesting. I remember a lone elderly lady in a Chinese/Indonesian restaurant in Den Haag who would be there every day strictly on time, perfectly dressed, wearing meticulously applied dark red lipstick and an austere expression, slowly and methodically eating through whatever she always ordered, and treating the personnel with that air of just superiority that so clearly shines through, for example, in some of Somerset Maugham's stories. It was clear that she paid not for the food but for being able to re-enact her past for herself, one hour every day. A glass of red wine, nay, claret, belonged to the picture. There was an utterly melancholic beauty about that scene, which I witnessed several times. But if you sit back and think for a while, all this makes no sense at all...
posted by Namlit at 2:28 PM on May 27, 2013

Don't worry too much about Japan. Colonialism is a touchy subject, but for the most part, Japan did a pretty solid job of controlling outside influence. While the Portuguese did a lot of trading (and introduced bread, tempura, and a bunch of other things) before the Shogun closed the country, during the Meiji restoration, most of those things that became yoshoku, or "western" Japanese food were things that were discovered when envoy's were out of Japan trying to decide which cultures and technology to appropriate.

Fast food though? There's the creeping doom of western cultural influence. Though I managed to live and commute to work through a stretch of Japan where I can't easily get my hash brown fix. McDonalds really dropped the ball on that one.
posted by Ghidorah at 2:34 PM on May 27, 2013

Egads~!

I'm not actually worried about the Japanese food, it's more the Thai and Native American food I worry about with that.
posted by NoraReed at 2:39 PM on May 27, 2013

Frankly, unless you tell me that the omnipresence of peanuts (of which I am allergic) was a Colonialist add-on, I must remain mostly unconcerned about Thai food. Sorry.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:06 PM on May 27, 2013

Gladly, I can report that many authentic Indonesian recipes don't have peanuts. Some other nuts occasionally, yes...
posted by Namlit at 3:17 PM on May 27, 2013

Hasn't Thailand avoided colonial European occupation?
posted by Area Man at 3:33 PM on May 27, 2013

It just slid sideways, right?
posted by Namlit at 3:34 PM on May 27, 2013

Just that far...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:54 PM on May 27, 2013

Keep your arms, legs and other protuberances inside the thread at all times.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:58 PM on May 27, 2013

Lost or stolen items should be reported to the Security Desk inside the locked vault.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:00 PM on May 27, 2013

Must have lost my thread. Better report to the desk. Will check the protuberances later.
posted by Namlit at 4:17 PM on May 27, 2013

Newly recovered children will be fed ice-cream and high corn syrup content foods until retrieved by their owners.
posted by arcticseal at 4:19 PM on May 27, 2013

Other activities prohibited while the thread is in motion: Photography, flash photography, flashing, photobombing, photoshop disasters and jif-or-gif animation.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:24 PM on May 27, 2013

Pornography and proctology are permitted with prior moderator approval.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:25 PM on May 27, 2013

Quart jugs, quartz watches and court injunctions should be left at the station.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:26 PM on May 27, 2013

Redundant policies will be enforced for as long as redundant policies are enforced.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:27 PM on May 27, 2013

Some disclaimers apply. Others may be taken internally, personally or for granted.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:28 PM on May 27, 2013

Tom Waits for no one. Not relevant, but one of my favorite puns, and it starts with a T.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:29 PM on May 27, 2013

Unkonzievable. (Not that I know if I think I know what it means)
posted by Namlit at 4:44 PM on May 27, 2013

Vents should not be disconnected at all times.
posted by Namlit at 4:45 PM on May 27, 2013

Waltzing prohibited outside the designated areas.
posted by Namlit at 4:48 PM on May 27, 2013

X-men to the right, please.
posted by Namlit at 4:49 PM on May 27, 2013

You, know, it's a bit lonely here in the middle of the night. All those bacon eaters have desserted us.
posted by Namlit at 4:51 PM on May 27, 2013

Zero response outside business hours...
posted by Namlit at 4:52 PM on May 27, 2013

Zounds! I meant Vietnamese, not Thai. Silly me.
posted by NoraReed at 4:53 PM on May 27, 2013

And the winds have suddenly picked up here... of course, I would be grossly insensitive to compare gusts that knocked over garden gnomes and rattled my already-loosened windows to the F5 tornado in Oklahoma, but I am next door to a trailer park and you KNOW how smaller twisters just seen to be magnetized to those places...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:03 PM on May 27, 2013

But I thought the "tornado magnet" thing turned out to be a myth and it was just that trailer parks tend to get more damage? I'm way out of twister country, so I may just be uneducated in these things.
posted by NoraReed at 5:05 PM on May 27, 2013

Can't say I know of any of this, either way. No trailer park here, and no tornados. The only "magnetic" thing around here is the alarm of the nearby school. It is attracted to give false alarm at Sunday nights.
posted by Namlit at 5:09 PM on May 27, 2013

Done been hoisted on my own petard. I've lived here for 7-and-a-half years and never had as much as a tornado warning within 75 miles. In fact the only tornadoes that have touched San Luis Obispo County have been way inland, a mountain range away and technically in the San Joaquin Valley. But I do recall, right before I moved here, there was the first tornado to hit an urban section of L.A. County in over 30 years... and it touched down in a trailer park (housing that urban L.A. is NOT known for). Besides, the latest round of Climate Changes all over have been so weird, who's to say? We could have tornadoes being attracted to McMansions in the hills, which are about a half-mile from me, or from herds of grazing cows which are almost as close the other way.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:17 PM on May 27, 2013

Everyone who lives in tornado alley has my sympathy. I've experienced a hurricane and that shad enough with a warning.
posted by arcticseal at 5:27 PM on May 27, 2013

Frack! Damn you autocorrect! "that's bad enough".
posted by arcticseal at 5:34 PM on May 27, 2013

Gosh, I thought you meant "shat".
posted by Kabanos at 5:37 PM on May 27, 2013

Hurricane name list is out for 2013.
Andrea, Barry, Chantal, Dorian, Erin, Fernand, Gabrielle, Humbert...
posted by Kabanos at 5:48 PM on May 27, 2013

Ingrid
posted by Kabanos at 5:49 PM on May 27, 2013

Honestly, I think "shite" would be the correct usage there.
posted by never used baby shoes at 5:49 PM on May 27, 2013

Jerry
posted by Kabanos at 5:50 PM on May 27, 2013

Karen
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:56 PM on May 27, 2013

Lorenzo
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:56 PM on May 27, 2013

Melissa
(this hurricane should hit shore exactly when Yahoo announces how it's screwing up Tumblr)
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:57 PM on May 27, 2013

Nestor
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:58 PM on May 27, 2013

Olga
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:59 PM on May 27, 2013

Pablo
(btw, I question the accuracy of the basic premise of this song, but what can I say?)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:00 PM on May 27, 2013

quick, name a hurricane that started with Q... can't? there never has been. Quincy is thankful for that.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:01 PM on May 27, 2013

Rebecca
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:02 PM on May 27, 2013

Sebastien (not Sebastian)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:03 PM on May 27, 2013

Tanya
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:14 PM on May 27, 2013

understandably, they're skipping U too
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:14 PM on May 27, 2013

Van

guaranteed to be one of the most joked hurricane names ever if it never causes much damage... like Van Halen's last reunion tour.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:15 PM on May 27, 2013

Wendy

WHAT?!?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:16 PM on May 27, 2013

X, Y, and Z (as well as Q and U) are banned from being used to name hurricanes. All part of an isolationalist policy on the part of the World Meteorological Association to avoid the lower end of the alphabet, a clear cut example of bias if there ever was one.
posted by jeremias at 6:28 PM on May 27, 2013

Assholes.
posted by never used baby shoes at 6:31 PM on May 27, 2013

Bungholes.
posted by ook at 6:31 PM on May 27, 2013

Cornholes.
posted by never used baby shoes at 6:32 PM on May 27, 2013

Digestive system output portals.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:41 PM on May 27, 2013

Elderberries. Their fathers smell of them.
posted by shothotbot at 6:47 PM on May 27, 2013

Fishing holes.
posted by Kabanos at 6:54 PM on May 27, 2013

Glory holes.
posted by Kabanos at 6:55 PM on May 27, 2013

Hole-in-ones.
posted by Kabanos at 6:56 PM on May 27, 2013

I guess that should have been "Holes-in-one".
posted by Kabanos at 6:58 PM on May 27, 2013

Jackassholes.
posted by Kabanos at 6:59 PM on May 27, 2013

Known holes, known unknown holes, unknown unknown holes.
posted by Kabanos at 7:02 PM on May 27, 2013

Lo and be-holes.
posted by Kabanos at 7:03 PM on May 27, 2013

Mole holes
posted by Kabanos at 7:03 PM on May 27, 2013

No holes barred.
posted by Kabanos at 7:04 PM on May 27, 2013

Ol' holes.
posted by Kabanos at 7:04 PM on May 27, 2013

Poopholes.
posted by Kabanos at 7:06 PM on May 27, 2013

Quolls' holes.
posted by Kabanos at 7:09 PM on May 27, 2013

Rip you a new assholes.
posted by Kabanos at 7:09 PM on May 27, 2013

Soles' holes.
posted by Kabanos at 7:11 PM on May 27, 2013

Trollholes.
posted by Kabanos at 7:11 PM on May 27, 2013

Unholesters.
posted by Kabanos at 7:12 PM on May 27, 2013

Vagholes
posted by Kabanos at 7:12 PM on May 27, 2013

Whole holes.
posted by Kabanos at 7:13 PM on May 27, 2013

X marks the hole.
posted by Kabanos at 7:14 PM on May 27, 2013

Yo ho holes.
posted by Kabanos at 7:14 PM on May 27, 2013

Z-hole-oft.
posted by Kabanos at 7:17 PM on May 27, 2013

A list of things that make you go "hmm".
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:19 PM on May 27, 2013

Anyone care to guess what I have in my pants?
posted by Rumple at 7:19 PM on May 27, 2013

Basically the same list I fear.
posted by Rumple at 7:21 PM on May 27, 2013

Considering the path of Arsenio Hall's career.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:26 PM on May 27, 2013

Donut hole stuck in esophagus. (Unable to make any noise other than "hmmm". Also impressing people by going "hmmm" with mouth wide open.)
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:28 PM on May 27, 2013

Vegetagian sausage
posted by Kabanos at 7:32 PM on May 27, 2013

expelling Kabanos from the "Knows Their Alphabet Club"
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:34 PM on May 27, 2013

"Frank & Ernest" approximately 27% of the time (the rest, they make you go either "ewwww" or "aarrgghh")
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:34 PM on May 27, 2013

German Brewers' objection to fracking because it would effect the water quality in their beer (while the folks at Budweiser say 'hey it could only improve it')
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:37 PM on May 27, 2013

HuffPo Spoilers (for those who didn't check their HuffPo expiration dates)
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:38 PM on May 27, 2013

"I’ve given a great deal of thought to the topic of different ways of thinking." - the very Meta Temple Grandin
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:42 PM on May 27, 2013

Jack the dog is very good at balancing objects on his nose and head.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:43 PM on May 27, 2013

Kris Straub, perpetrator of webcomics Chainsawsuit, Broodhollow and Starslip* is also doing his umpteenth podcast series, the most recent episode featuring a guest appearance by all-star ukulele-ator Molly Lewis. UKE JAM!!!

*the recently concluded sci-fi comic-space-opera semi-epic with a better ending than any sci-fi TV show of the last decade.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:25 PM on May 27, 2013

"Lite" foods.
posted by booksherpa at 8:46 PM on May 27, 2013

My wife telling me to save episodes of arrested development to watch until tomorrow. Are you mad, woman?
posted by arcticseal at 9:05 PM on May 27, 2013

New Coke (28 years later)
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:09 PM on May 27, 2013

"Original Fiction" and how it used to have its own category on FFN back in the day
posted by NoraReed at 9:52 PM on May 27, 2013

Pollish Jokes, not jokes about people from Poland, jokes about Pollsters, they're so stupid and funny!
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:55 PM on May 27, 2013

Quinception (I went hmmm so much, I did a FPP)
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:57 PM on May 27, 2013

Rocks that are quartz but are not called quartz, like amethyst. I assume this is because rocks get boring when such a big percentage of them are called the same thing but still.

And yeah that goes for both questions. IS THAT AN AMETHYST CLUSTER IN YOUR POCKET 'CAUSE IF NOT YOU MIGHT WANNA GET THAT CHECKED OUT
posted by NoraReed at 10:00 PM on May 27, 2013

SMBC
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:05 PM on May 27, 2013

This comment I made in the "500,000th MetaTalk comment thread".
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:09 PM on May 27, 2013

Understanding the reference requires enough knowledge of Babylon 5 that you would know Vir Cotto was not a brand of salami.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:10 PM on May 27, 2013

Vir Cotto, aka Dr. Axelrod aka Flounder.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:13 PM on May 27, 2013

waves like this
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:15 PM on May 27, 2013

Xavier... Hurricane Xavier... why the heck not?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:42 PM on May 27, 2013

Y NOT?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:37 PM on May 27, 2013

Zip drives... does anybody still have zip drives?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:00 AM on May 28, 2013

And let's think about our favorite obsolete technologies...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:01 AM on May 28, 2013

Betamax!
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:01 AM on May 28, 2013

could also be our favorite Star Trek alien races... Betazoids...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:02 AM on May 28, 2013

Damn this went fast. I'm still thinking hmmm.
posted by Namlit at 12:35 AM on May 28, 2013

Especially about the effect of "effect" as placeholder for "affect". Does that count as favorite obsolete technique?
posted by Namlit at 12:36 AM on May 28, 2013

Film camera, like my old Nikon F3. I'm still using it. I also got my grandfather's old 1937 Rolleiflex. 120 film is expensive, though.
posted by Namlit at 12:38 AM on May 28, 2013

Genuine cooking in a genuine kitchen.
posted by Namlit at 12:39 AM on May 28, 2013

hmms are fine... that last A-Z actually took almost 5 hours and I made most of the entries... I'm going to sleep now so the rest of you... START COMMENTING!!!
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:41 AM on May 28, 2013

Is it me who is 'the rest of you'? Hmmm.
posted by Namlit at 12:59 AM on May 28, 2013

Just how much sleep does a man with a mission really need? Hmmm.
posted by Namlit at 1:00 AM on May 28, 2013

Key to hmm-ing is voice control.
posted by Namlit at 1:01 AM on May 28, 2013

Judging from comment counts, it's mostly you, yes.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:01 AM on May 28, 2013

Learning how to control the impulse to post in alphabet threads - when you also have a mission of collectively accumulating an award-winning number of entries - isn't easy.
posted by Namlit at 3:02 AM on May 28, 2013

Meanwhile I also have a desk job - home desk, sure but still. So where's everyone when we need them? Thread waits to be completed.
posted by Namlit at 3:04 AM on May 28, 2013

Nagra-brand tape recorders, a thing of beauty, what would also count is the "neo-pilottone" quartz synchronization signal within the Nagra, used to synch up the audio and video from the shoot.
posted by jeremias at 3:42 AM on May 28, 2013

Obsolete technologies are just so ...passe
posted by pianissimo at 3:44 AM on May 28, 2013

Punch cards. Can't have a discussion of old technologies or a controversial presidential election without 'em.
posted by pianissimo at 3:52 AM on May 28, 2013

Quavers. Who is using quavers any more...
posted by Namlit at 3:55 AM on May 28, 2013

Record players. I'm having this huge LP collection that I accumulated when I studied. Halfway through, the CD came. My Thorens TD110 is still going more or less strong, though.
posted by Namlit at 3:56 AM on May 28, 2013

Stiles. Like to go over a fence or wall. They're not obsolete -- walls and fences still exist and people still need to get over them or past them or through them -- but somehow we don't do it with stiles anymore.
posted by ook at 6:39 AM on May 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Television. Too soon?
posted by shothotbot at 6:40 AM on May 28, 2013

The longing for the stiles of a past age is the truest form of nostalgia
posted by ook at 6:40 AM on May 28, 2013

Underwear. Well, in my house anyway. Well, in my pants anyway. Perhaps already I've said too much
posted by ook at 6:45 AM on May 28, 2013

VCDs. VCRs. Pretty much everything video.

VD OTOH, is a lot harder to get rid of.
posted by pianissimo at 6:53 AM on May 28, 2013

Well water (we're using water from our own well. But we've got an automatic pump...)
posted by Namlit at 7:11 AM on May 28, 2013

X-es. Most obsolete letter of them all.
posted by Namlit at 7:12 AM on May 28, 2013

Yes! This cycle of obsolete things is about to become obsolete.
posted by pianissimo at 7:15 AM on May 28, 2013

Zero. Who needs it? It means nothing.
posted by pianissimo at 7:22 AM on May 28, 2013

And here we go, again.
posted by Area Man at 7:23 AM on May 28, 2013

Ass-mounted jet packs.

(Future tech failures)
posted by shothotbot at 7:23 AM on May 28, 2013

Bulletproof school uniforms
posted by ook at 7:42 AM on May 28, 2013

Camouflage. We'll have stealth cloaks.

Christ. ook's link just stopped me in my tracks.
posted by arcticseal at 7:50 AM on May 28, 2013

Danceable architecture
posted by ook at 7:51 AM on May 28, 2013

External Digestion

*boke*
posted by greenish at 7:58 AM on May 28, 2013

Five wheel drive SUVs
posted by Namlit at 8:08 AM on May 28, 2013

Granola pills
posted by Namlit at 8:12 AM on May 28, 2013

Home Surgery Kits
posted by ook at 8:14 AM on May 28, 2013

I was going to say: Hands-free Clapper
posted by Kabanos at 8:15 AM on May 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Indoor lawnmowers
posted by Namlit at 8:22 AM on May 28, 2013

Juke tupperwares
posted by Namlit at 8:22 AM on May 28, 2013

Kleenex Snax for Dogs
posted by Kabanos at 8:27 AM on May 28, 2013

Levitating office chair
posted by Kabanos at 8:46 AM on May 28, 2013

Lube-N-Grit
posted by shothotbot at 8:46 AM on May 28, 2013

Make Your Own Hadron Collider
posted by Kabanos at 8:51 AM on May 28, 2013

Non-stick peanut butter.
posted by Kabanos at 8:52 AM on May 28, 2013

Open top submarine
posted by Kabanos at 10:02 AM on May 28, 2013

Penis Dentata
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:25 AM on May 28, 2013

Que?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:49 AM on May 28, 2013

Radar free-range
posted by ook at 10:51 AM on May 28, 2013

Sexophone.
posted by box at 11:21 AM on May 28, 2013

Twitter Simulator
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:27 AM on May 28, 2013

Unflavoured and Unscented Spices
posted by peagood at 11:28 AM on May 28, 2013

Video texting
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:31 AM on May 28, 2013

Wearable social media
posted by Kabanos at 11:34 AM on May 28, 2013

Wendellizing (you don't want to know)
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:34 AM on May 28, 2013

Xbox One
posted by Kabanos at 11:35 AM on May 28, 2013

Yak cozy
posted by shothotbot at 11:36 AM on May 28, 2013

Zumba Roomba
posted by Kabanos at 11:37 AM on May 28, 2013

Arrested Development Season 5:
posted by Kabanos at 12:36 PM on May 28, 2013

Bust, a sequel of Lost.
posted by Namlit at 12:38 PM on May 28, 2013

Circus, Circus: a sequel to Carnivale.
posted by dogwalker at 12:41 PM on May 28, 2013

Dextest, a sequel to Dexter.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:43 PM on May 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ecstasy, the sequel to Weeds.
posted by Night_owl at 12:58 PM on May 28, 2013

Frack Me! A situation comedy set in the Battlestar Gallactica universe
posted by shothotbot at 1:07 PM on May 28, 2013

Girls, Interrupted: Lena Dunham and friends are committed to a mental institution.
posted by box at 1:34 PM on May 28, 2013 [3 favorites]

House of Cads: Political drama set in Boston.
posted by Kabanos at 1:46 PM on May 28, 2013

In Distorted Sight: Episodes of In Plain Sight on a badly tuned television
posted by NoraReed at 1:48 PM on May 28, 2013

Jersey Shorn: Tabatha Coffey takes over and restyles the cast's hair.
posted by Kabanos at 2:05 PM on May 28, 2013

Kitchen Knightmares: Gordan Ramsey is thrust a thousand years into the past, where he's forced each week to navigate culture shock and appalling food handling standards in an attempt to help a string of castle chefs turn their troubled kitchens around before they get beheaded.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:31 PM on May 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Late Late Late Show, giving Craig Ferguson's robot sidekick a spin-off
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:41 PM on May 28, 2013

Mad Babies (The Next Generation)
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:42 PM on May 28, 2013

New Adventures of Old Rocky the Flying Squirrel starring June Foray
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:45 PM on May 28, 2013

Out of context, but I warn you that when this thread hits 6000 I'm going to do my best to get every single Metafilter user involved. Just a warning...
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:02 PM on May 28, 2013

People's Kangaroo Court with Judge Paul Hogan
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:14 PM on May 28, 2013

Quick Change: The Series directed by Bill Murray
posted by dogwalker at 4:16 PM on May 28, 2013

Queer Eye for the Strait Guy: A group of gay guys become George Strait groupies
posted by donnagirl at 4:16 PM on May 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Real Housewives of a Real Neighborhood (nah,it'll never happen)
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:19 PM on May 28, 2013

S.H.I... (Comic book heroes led by William Shatner)
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:30 PM on May 28, 2013

The Crosby Show - The goings-on in the life of a supposedly successful American family, starring Bing, Dixie, Gary, twins Dennis and Phillip, and Lindsay...
posted by peagood at 4:31 PM on May 28, 2013

Undercover Final Boss: top execs of major corporations infiltrate video games to kill employees in their spare time
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:34 PM on May 28, 2013

Upstairs, Downton Abbey - Here's the pitch: watching this show will actually elevate you to a higher social class.
posted by box at 4:34 PM on May 28, 2013

VCIS - Spoiler alert: the military police agents are actually aliens.
posted by box at 4:35 PM on May 28, 2013

Why I Divorced Your Mother
posted by fleacircus at 4:39 PM on May 28, 2013

X-Folders: how evidence of alien invasion was lost in Windows directory system
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:42 PM on May 28, 2013 [2 favorites]

Your So-Called Life: show about a dude who mostly just stays in bed, occasionally getting up to eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches.
posted by dogwalker at 5:34 PM on May 28, 2013 [3 favorites]

Z-Team: uncharismatic, kinda slow dudes get in the way of people trying to help the innocent. No catch phrases.
posted by donnagirl at 5:52 PM on May 28, 2013 [2 favorites]

Angry Nerds. A casual play game loosely based off MetaTalk.
posted by shothotbot at 6:19 PM on May 28, 2013

Bust-A-Move. Pop bubbles and pop bottles in this puzzle game-slash-hip-hop-themed dating sim.
posted by box at 6:44 PM on May 28, 2013

Call of Howdy Doody: first-person shooter in which you are a goofy looking marionette (and the enemy is all Gerry Anderson 'Supermarionation' characters)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:53 PM on May 28, 2013

Domino-ation. Where submissives lick the boots of six pips.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:11 PM on May 28, 2013

End game. Chess players with an anal fetish.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:19 PM on May 28, 2013

Femdominoes.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:20 PM on May 28, 2013

Gangrenous Gangrenous Hippos
posted by ook at 7:22 PM on May 28, 2013

Hookers with hooks. Something to worry about.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:23 PM on May 28, 2013

I like prostitutes. They have such a work ethic. I've never known one to blow off work.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:25 PM on May 28, 2013

Job, it's just a job. That's what they say. They don't blow it off.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:26 PM on May 28, 2013

Jokes like that are not amusing
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:26 PM on May 28, 2013

Jewmanji... no, I'd better not...
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:26 PM on May 28, 2013

Kindly refrain from jokes like that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:27 PM on May 28, 2013

Let's not make jokes like that. Please.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:28 PM on May 28, 2013

My word. A joke like that is simply unacceptable.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:28 PM on May 28, 2013

Now can we return to board games?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:29 PM on May 28, 2013

okay, call in Wil Wheaton...
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:30 PM on May 28, 2013

Probably too famous for Metafilter.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:31 PM on May 28, 2013

Parcheesy, available in Mild, Sharp, Swiss and Pepper Jacks Wild
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:31 PM on May 28, 2013

Q.I.O.U. for people in debt to Stephen Frye
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:32 PM on May 28, 2013

Rabblesc, the word game for the unwashed masses
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:33 PM on May 28, 2013

Scrabble for Coins - Scrabble for coins!
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:34 PM on May 28, 2013

Tic Tac Toe is a vastly more interesting when the loser has to cut off a toe.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:40 PM on May 28, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, backgammon should be played with both players on their backs.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:41 PM on May 28, 2013

Video games were popular in my day, but they never really became a spectator sport. That's why very little video of these games survives.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:05 PM on May 28, 2013

War games were popular in my day, but there are very few survivors.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:06 PM on May 28, 2013

X-games were popular in my day. I never knew what the X stood for.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:07 PM on May 28, 2013

You have to wonder why one game becomes popular and another game is completely forgotten. At least, that is the premise of my new game: Which Game Lives?
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:09 PM on May 28, 2013

Zamboni Racing! (between periods of NHL Games or during the intermission of the Ice Capades)
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:15 PM on May 28, 2013

Angry Birds! They're so angry. I don't understand their anger. Is it because they're Finnish?
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:17 PM on May 28, 2013

Bird Angering! It's a competition all its own...
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:18 PM on May 28, 2013

Blackjack should now be called Afro-American-Jack, if you want to be politically correct.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:18 PM on May 28, 2013

Craps should now be called Defecations, if you want to be medically correct.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:20 PM on May 28, 2013

Dice should now be called dice. No change there. Except that it's no longer the plural of dyke.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:21 PM on May 28, 2013

Every time I play chess and I have to sacrifice a pawn, I write a letter to the pawn's family, telling them "it's part of the game."
But they never write back.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:50 PM on May 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Final Fantasy, by definition, should NEVER HAVE HAD ANY SEQUELS. Okay?
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:55 PM on May 28, 2013

Go is a game. But Stop isn't.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:58 PM on May 28, 2013

Haggis is the only card game which is also a food.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:04 PM on May 28, 2013

In my eyes,
Indisposed,
In disguise
As no one knows.
Hides the face,
Lies the snake,
And the sun
In my disgrace.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:01 PM on May 28, 2013

Just noticed some similarities between Craig Ferguson's theme song "Tomorrow's Just Your Future Yesterday" and Adam and the Ants' "Antmusic". Weird.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:19 PM on May 28, 2013

(keep listening, you'll notice the similarity sooner or later)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:28 PM on May 28, 2013

"Love This Giant" some free music to download by David Byrne & St. Vincent. (yeah, they want your email address... that's why I still have a yahoomail address)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:28 PM on May 28, 2013

My Sweet Lord vs He's So Fine
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:30 PM on May 28, 2013

not quite as similar as those two, but it makes you wonder when Ferguson talks about being in a rock band in the 80s...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:32 PM on May 28, 2013

okay, here's a site that is all side-by-side comparisons between pairs of songs that you can play, some surprisingly similar, others not really that close: SoundsJustLike.com
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:44 PM on May 28, 2013

Pointing out this kind of shit is not my style, but when you listen to Chuck Berry do Sweet Little Sixteen and then immediately listen to the Beach Boys do Surfin' USA, you've got to wonder who came first, and if maybe somebody wasn't just ripping off somebody else. But then, there were only so many possibilities within the chord progressions at that time. You can't really argue that the chord progressions defined the song. There was more to it than that. The lyrics, the arrangement, the harmonies.

There are no new ideas.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:46 PM on May 28, 2013

Queer, ain't it? (and NOT in a gay way)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:48 PM on May 28, 2013

Really?
Wikipedia: "Surfin' U.S.A." is a song performed by the Beach Boys featuring lyrics by Brian Wilson set to the music of "Sweet Little Sixteen," written by Chuck Berry
(It must also be noted, that from my personal observation, all of Chuck Berry's songs seem to have one of three basic song structures)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:55 PM on May 28, 2013

Sweet Home Werewolves?!? (this one caught me by surprise, but yeah!)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:57 PM on May 28, 2013

The truth is that nobody has ever done a cover of My Ding a Ling.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:58 PM on May 28, 2013

Understandable. But before that song, I would've said Berry only had TWO basic song structures.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:59 PM on May 28, 2013

Very oddly, the site doesn't include the so-obvious-there-was-a-lawsuit "He's So Fine" and "My Sweet Lord".
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:02 PM on May 28, 2013

wanna mashup some "do lang do langs" and "hare krishnas"?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:03 PM on May 28, 2013

You wanna do a mashup of "do lang do langs" and "ding a ling lings?"
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:04 PM on May 28, 2013

Xtreme Random Syllables: OOGA CHUKKA!!!
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:11 PM on May 28, 2013

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:12 PM on May 28, 2013

A is for eh, which Canadians say
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:15 PM on May 28, 2013

B is for B-line, I won't go astray.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:15 PM on May 28, 2013

C is for what I see, on my way.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:16 PM on May 28, 2013

D is for D-day, killing krauts every day.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:17 PM on May 28, 2013

E is for E. And F is for F. And G is for G. Have I had eneff?
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:19 PM on May 28, 2013

Heh.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 11:19 PM on May 28, 2013

G is for "Gee!" An exuberant exclamation.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:22 PM on May 28, 2013

H is for "haaaa", an exuberant exhalation.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:23 PM on May 28, 2013

I is for I, a pronoun most singular.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:24 PM on May 28, 2013

I don't know about this...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:24 PM on May 28, 2013

Just not sure...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:25 PM on May 28, 2013

J is for jingle bells, which ring a ding jingular.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:25 PM on May 28, 2013

Kinda not quite right...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:25 PM on May 28, 2013

L is for L. And M is for M.
There's really no hope for N (which is N.)
I can't even speak about O (which is O.)
They say they killed P, but if that's true I don't know.
I worried sometime what became of that Q,
And I'm not really sure what I know is real true.
But I'm sure that R is as bad as that S,
And T just ignores the horrible mess.
And U has a home in the country somewhere,
and fornicates V, and the twins, as a pair,
But W never seems to complain,
When XXX is the name of the game.
You can't tell me you would be better off dead,
With L and M and ultimately Zed.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:40 PM on May 28, 2013

Mongolia. Not a bad vacation place, but most tourists don't know about it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:43 PM on May 28, 2013

Nairobi. Not a bad tourist destination. But I left my heart in San Francisco.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:45 PM on May 28, 2013

Oregon. Many here are organ donors.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:45 PM on May 28, 2013

Oxnard. Nicer than it sounds. No oxen have been narded.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:46 PM on May 28, 2013

Pyongyang has such a happy name. Rhyming. Like "ping pong". Pyongyang a lang a lang... he's so fine!!!

Last time I was there they arrested me for singing that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:47 PM on May 28, 2013

QWERTY is the first word I learned in my touch typing class.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:05 AM on May 29, 2013

RACECAR is palindromic.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:10 AM on May 29, 2013

SEX AT is an anagram for TEXAS.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:10 AM on May 29, 2013

TEXAS TEA is an anagram for TEASE TAX.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:12 AM on May 29, 2013

UNDERGARMENT is an anagram for NERD ARGUMENT.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:15 AM on May 29, 2013

Vindaloo. We were having vindaloo. She really liked curry, so we went to an Indian place.

That was the last meal we had together.

"You look beautiful," I said. "Please don't leave. Stay with me for another day."

"I can't do that, silly." she said.

"Your work is important, I know, but you should take some time off and enjoy your life."

"My mission is important."

She always scared me when she said things like that. But this time I sensed that she meant it.

"Can you avoid doing this?" I asked, knowing full well that she couldn't. But I persisted. "Why don't you spend a few more hours with me? We could make love one more time."

"I can't. You know I can't. My work won't let me go."

"Some chhena kheeri? Some motichoor laddu? You know I don't want you to go. I don't want you to do what you're about to do."

She didn't want dessert. I paid for the food and walked her to her car. She asked me to load her guns and help her with her explosives. I kissed her and we said goodbye.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:41 AM on May 29, 2013

Welsh rarebit. Not a food I would eat everyday, but it was on the menu at the Club, somehow.

"I'll try the welsh rarebit." The waiter, dressed with a black vest and a crisp white shirt, just nodded. And the Colonel seemed to be alright with it too.

"Tell me more about her," the Colonel said. "Tell me what you know."

"She was the love of my life. She was the most beautiful person I've ever met. I'm sorry about what happened, but I don't have any information for you." That was the best line I could come up with, and I hoped the Colonel didn't notice what I really thought.

"Did she love you too?" He asked.

"She did, at least, I'm pretty sure she did." I wasn't sure what he wanted. I wasn't sure why he invited me to the Club.

He looked at me with stern eyes, like he was looking at a small child guilty of stealing candy. "Did you know about the machine?" he asked.

"I don't know anything about a machine" I said, hoping he didn't notice I was lying.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:48 AM on May 29, 2013

X machina, deus.

According to Wikipedia, which spells it differently, it can be intended to move the story forward when the writer has "painted himself into a corner" and sees no other way out, to surprise the audience, to bring a happy ending into the tale, or as a comedic device.

But it wasn't like that with her. Our love was something special. No Wikipedia entry can describe it. The Colonel would never understand.

She and I met again, in Prague. But it wasn't the same. And it wasn't a comedic device.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:58 AM on May 29, 2013

YOGA is an anagram of A GOY.
posted by box at 5:30 AM on May 29, 2013

ZEUGMA is a literary device, ANALOGY also.
posted by box at 5:32 AM on May 29, 2013

Arthur Ashe avidly ate applesauce.
posted by box at 5:32 AM on May 29, 2013

Brett Butler blithely bought bourbon.
posted by box at 5:33 AM on May 29, 2013

Candy Crowley cheerfully carved cedar.
posted by box at 5:35 AM on May 29, 2013

Chris Christie crassly caught crabs
posted by shothotbot at 5:35 AM on May 29, 2013

Desmond Dekker daintily dunked donuts.
posted by box at 5:36 AM on May 29, 2013

Edwin Edwards eagerly embraced extortion.
posted by box at 5:37 AM on May 29, 2013

Finn Frankston fiercely fought fleas.
posted by pianissimo at 5:42 AM on May 29, 2013

Gah. Messed up the F name and missed the edit window. Sorry.

Graham Greene grimly ground gemstones.
posted by pianissimo at 5:51 AM on May 29, 2013

Heidi Halverson happily heaved hamburgers.
posted by Area Man at 5:59 AM on May 29, 2013

Iggy Iguana indolently ignited indica.
posted by box at 6:15 AM on May 29, 2013

Jenna Jameson jubilantly jiggled jubblies.
posted by h00py at 6:31 AM on May 29, 2013

Kato Kaelin karate-kicked kindergarteners.
posted by Diablevert at 6:55 AM on May 29, 2013

Linda Lovelace lovingly licks long Lincoln Log.
posted by Kabanos at 7:02 AM on May 29, 2013

Mister Mister mistily missals "missed her".
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:04 AM on May 29, 2013

Nick Nolte nattily navigated Nevada.
posted by box at 8:41 AM on May 29, 2013

Ozzy Osbourne obliviously orchestrated organ octets.
posted by box at 8:46 AM on May 29, 2013

Puns with Pianists don't seem to pan out (their first names never allow for it)
posted by Namlit at 8:50 AM on May 29, 2013

Quentin Querulator is a fill-in celebrity to quench the q-draught.
posted by Namlit at 8:51 AM on May 29, 2013

Rirty-Roo Rort Rilms about Ren Rould?
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:51 AM on May 29, 2013

Rarthur Rubinstein, thusly, didn't play Rachmaninoff: his name was Artur.
posted by Namlit at 8:51 AM on May 29, 2013

Same applies to Sudolf Serkin, sorta.
posted by Namlit at 8:52 AM on May 29, 2013

"Sufferin' succotash!" says Sylvester, spitting saliva.
posted by Kabanos at 8:53 AM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

The tiny thin tchotchke.
posted by Kabanos at 8:59 AM on May 29, 2013

Urbane uttering urges us upwards until unmet unions unite, undefeated.
posted by kinetic at 9:28 AM on May 29, 2013

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
posted by Night_owl at 9:57 AM on May 29, 2013

William Wallace's worries were X words
posted by shothotbot at 10:02 AM on May 29, 2013

Xenophobic xiphoid xenopus!
posted by zarq at 10:16 AM on May 29, 2013

Yes she said yes she will yes
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:45 AM on May 29, 2013

Zsa Zsa's zingers.
posted by Kabanos at 10:47 AM on May 29, 2013

A way a lone a last a loved a long the riverrun
posted by ook at 11:01 AM on May 29, 2013

(bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk!)
posted by ook at 11:15 AM on May 29, 2013

ch-ch-ch-ch-changeeesssssss
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:29 AM on May 29, 2013

Don't you go breaking my duodenum
posted by ook at 11:49 AM on May 29, 2013

e ric e scaped e limination by e ating e verything e arly
posted by Namlit at 12:19 PM on May 29, 2013

-F ilter f ound f reshless f ish not f it for f easting
posted by Namlit at 12:21 PM on May 29, 2013

gh-gh-gh-ghosts!
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:23 PM on May 29, 2013

halirious
posted by Namlit at 12:23 PM on May 29, 2013

i ngesting i nevitably i ndigestible i ngredients i sn't i nteresting
posted by Namlit at 12:25 PM on May 29, 2013

just a little, perhaps - for the onlookers.
posted by Namlit at 12:26 PM on May 29, 2013

Kabbage kan't be dekanted, no matter how hard you try.
posted by Namlit at 12:27 PM on May 29, 2013

l1i|
posted by ook at 12:34 PM on May 29, 2013

meaning?
posted by Namlit at 12:38 PM on May 29, 2013

Now you know whether the sans serif you're reading this in was well-designed.
posted by ook at 12:39 PM on May 29, 2013

(Of course that assumes you're using a sans serif. If otherwise, please disregard)
posted by ook at 12:40 PM on May 29, 2013

Persistently sans Sheriff (since 1959)
posted by Namlit at 12:52 PM on May 29, 2013

quitter
posted by ook at 1:12 PM on May 29, 2013

raw reality
posted by Namlit at 1:17 PM on May 29, 2013

So, what's going on here? I'm confused..
posted by Lizard at 1:36 PM on May 29, 2013

There are certain Mefites that have been isolated on the Alpha Thread for so long that they have developed their own distinct language. Or it might be alcohol.
posted by Kabanos at 1:50 PM on May 29, 2013

'Up Where We Belong' is not specifically one of my favorite songs.
posted by box at 2:18 PM on May 29, 2013

Van reverses on DVP after flooding. One of Toronto's major downtown highways was closed due to major flooding this morning. This guy ignored police barriers.
posted by Kabanos at 2:31 PM on May 29, 2013

What remains unknown is if Rob Ford was driving or not.
posted by Kabanos at 2:31 PM on May 29, 2013

Xenopus clivii is also known as the Eritrea Clawed Frog or Peracca's Clawed Frog. (This is the same cheat used by my son's animal alphabet book.)
posted by Area Man at 2:39 PM on May 29, 2013

You can do better. I can do bitter.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:06 PM on May 29, 2013

Zounds' sounds.
posted by Kabanos at 3:40 PM on May 29, 2013

ALBANIA, Albania, you border on the Adriatic!
posted by zarq at 3:43 PM on May 29, 2013

Alphabet threads were the best, but I'm not so sure about this one. Take a comment from anywhere above, and make it better.
posted by Kabanos at 3:43 PM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

But now that we have the edit window, we should be able to avoid doubles.
posted by King Bee at 4:13 PM on May 15
You'd think so.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:45 PM on May 29, 2013

C entries (at least toward the beginning) seemed to be dominated by comments like "Come on people, let's get this back on track."
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:50 PM on May 29, 2013

"Does anyone *really* know what time it is?"
Does anyone remember just how long ago Chicago made cool music?
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:52 PM on May 29, 2013

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT

___________.__             ___________                      __                   _____   __      __                 __         .__           .__  .__         ___.   .__  __                     
\__    ___/|  |__   ____   \__    ___/______   ____ _____ _/  |_ ___.__.   _____/ ____\ /  \    /  \ ____   _______/  |_______ |  |__ _____  |  | |__|____    \_ |__ |__|/  |_  ____   ______    
  |    |   |  |  \_/ __ \    |    |  \_  __ \_/ __ \\__  \\   __<   |  |  /  _ \   __\  \   \/\/   // __ \ /  ___/\   __\____ \|  |  \\__  \ |  | |  \__  \    | __ \|  \   __\/ __ \ /  ___/    
  |    |   |   Y  \  ___/    |    |   |  | \/\  ___/ / __ \|  |  \___  | (  <> )  |     \        /\  ___/ \___ \  |  | |  |_> >   Y  \/ __ \|  |_|  |/ __ \_  | \_\ \  ||  | \  ___/ \___ \     
  |____|   |___|  /\___  >   |____|   |__|    \___  >____  /__|  / ____|  \____/|__|      \__/\  /  \___  >____  > |__| |   __/|___|  (____  /____/__(____  /  |___  /__||__|  \___  >____  > /\ 
                \/     \/                         \/     \/      \/                            \/       \/     \/       |__|        \/     \/             \/       \/              \/     \/  \/

posted by twoleftfeet at 4:11 PM on May 29, 2013

Fuck. The Treaty of Westphalia bites.

How many times do I have to say that?
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:12 PM on May 29, 2013

Got to get a life.

Do you have one to spare?
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:14 PM on May 29, 2013

Have you ever been bitten by the Treaty of Westphalia. Not fun.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:34 PM on May 29, 2013

I have never. I might have been kicked by the Contract of Prussia, but that's a long time ago.
posted by Namlit at 4:38 PM on May 29, 2013

Just why don't you bite back? Treaty of Westphalia is a mouthful...
posted by Namlit at 4:43 PM on May 29, 2013

Kettle drum roll-over. Or whatever. Can't really think why it is that I always end up with the k. Conspicuous lull before the k, likely.
posted by Namlit at 4:48 PM on May 29, 2013

Ladies and gents, am I correct in my understanding that Jessamyn would like for us to play every answer is a question?
posted by box at 4:52 PM on May 29, 2013

Maaaaaaaaybeeeeee?
posted by dogwalker at 4:59 PM on May 29, 2013

Non?
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:00 PM on May 29, 2013

Or is it a faux pas to ask in French?
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:06 PM on May 29, 2013

Probably, but who's going to stop us?
posted by bethnull at 5:18 PM on May 29, 2013

Québécois radicals?
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:29 PM on May 29, 2013

Radicals from Canada care that much?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:36 PM on May 29, 2013

Seriously, is it too much to ask to be alphabetical and conceptually consistent?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:43 PM on May 29, 2013

Trying? You tell me you're trying? Remember what Yoda said about trying?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:44 PM on May 29, 2013

Up to your standards, we are not?
posted by bethnull at 5:47 PM on May 29, 2013

Viagra Falls is known for its inability to keep it up.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:49 PM on May 29, 2013

We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So lets start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
Its true we'll make a better day
Just you and me
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:50 PM on May 29, 2013

X is + sideways.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:51 PM on May 29, 2013

Y not?
yes, I confess, I used this before
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:52 PM on May 29, 2013

Zeitgeist was popular at one time, but not at all times.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:54 PM on May 29, 2013

Actually I meant to sneeze, my mistake
posted by ook at 5:55 PM on May 29, 2013

~~Are there ways we can revive the All Questions game?~~
Because some people use the Edit Window to make others of us look bad.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:56 PM on May 29, 2013

Butt sneeze. That's what I call a fart.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:57 PM on May 29, 2013

Could be we're playing the every-other-questions game?
posted by ook at 5:57 PM on May 29, 2013

Did you write up new rules for this?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:58 PM on May 29, 2013

~~D'oh! I used it to make myself look ~~good~~ less bad~~

Edit window game. Nobody will know what the heck happened after the fact
posted by ook at 5:58 PM on May 29, 2013

Don't do that. This game isn't about a game we've played before. It's about inventing new games.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:58 PM on May 29, 2013

Ever have one of those days?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:59 PM on May 29, 2013

For a month at a time?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:00 PM on May 29, 2013

Freeeeequently
posted by ook at 6:00 PM on May 29, 2013

Gallifrey Game! Be a Timelord with chronologically discordant entries!
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:01 PM on May 29, 2013

Hours is not to wonder why...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:01 PM on May 29, 2013

In a New York Minute, you can get stranded in New Jersey.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:02 PM on May 29, 2013

Just a moment ago from now one of us will have not yet been forgotten about already
posted by ook at 6:03 PM on May 29, 2013

Kids... Have you ever really looked at a rainbow? I mean, have you ever really stared upward and appreciated the wonder that is a rainbow? If you haven't done this, you should immediately go outside and try to appreciate a rainbow. Oh, sure, I hear your feeble objections. "It hasn't been raining here, so there are no rainbows" you say. "It's night time here, so it's impossible to see rainbows."

None of that matters when it comes to rainbows, because rainbow-appreciation comes from within. It's not about one specific rainbow. It's about learning to see the beauty of the colors, wherever you are, you motherfucking asshole.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:06 PM on May 29, 2013

Left turns can be expected from twoleftfeet.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:08 PM on May 29, 2013

Maybe they're three right turns DIDJA EVER THINK OF THAT HUH DIDJA HUH DIDJA
posted by ook at 6:17 PM on May 29, 2013

No wrongs make a what?
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:20 PM on May 29, 2013

Over divided by under.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:20 PM on May 29, 2013

Pi is an irrational constant, and as such, closely watched by Homeland Security.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:22 PM on May 29, 2013

Quick! Think of something starting with Q... uh... uh...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:23 PM on May 29, 2013

Q was my favorite Bond character. But he died and was replace by a different Q.

RIP Q
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:23 PM on May 29, 2013

Rutabaga is my favorite vegetable that has both RUT and BAG in its name.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:24 PM on May 29, 2013

Squash is the only vegetable which is also a sport.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:24 PM on May 29, 2013

Tomatoes will be thrown.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:25 PM on May 29, 2013

T is the only letter which is also a drink.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:25 PM on May 29, 2013

Unless I'm mistaken, we've done Alphavegetables before and I couldn't find anything for U then either.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:26 PM on May 29, 2013

Vegetables taste best when alphabetized.
posted by bethnull at 6:28 PM on May 29, 2013

Vegetables, surprisingly, are not tables.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:28 PM on May 29, 2013

"When in Rome, do as the Romans do" can be translated from English to Italian. But that wouldn't make sense, because that's not what Romans would do.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:34 PM on May 29, 2013

Won is the national currency of North Korea. Yeah, sure. More like Lose, amirite?
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:36 PM on May 29, 2013

XCIX bottles of beer on the wall, XCIX bottles of beer,
Take one down, pass it around,
XCVIII bottles of beer on the wall.

XCVIII bottles of beer on the wall, XCVIII bottles of beer,
Take one down, pass it around,
XCVII bottles of beer on the wall....
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:41 PM on May 29, 2013

Yes, but will it float?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:54 PM on May 29, 2013

Zow, SheZow. (self-linkish)
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:03 PM on May 29, 2013

yzarc idea: instead of another normal run through the alphabet, or we could do it in reverse, using the first word backwards so that its last letter is the relevant one. Get it?
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:11 PM on May 29, 2013

xetroc would approve, I'm sure, and even participate if he AND his brain were here.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:11 PM on May 29, 2013

Won I'm confused.
posted by Area Man at 7:12 PM on May 29, 2013

vokram chains. gotta love 'em.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:12 PM on May 29, 2013

ufgnuk fighting (I'm beginning to see a weakness in this plan)
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:15 PM on May 29, 2013

Tard, I was hoping to use "mazeltov."
posted by Area Man at 7:16 PM on May 29, 2013

Sdrow, so many you can just add an 's' to make plural.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:31 PM on May 29, 2013

RACECAR

moves just as fast backwards as forwards
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:34 PM on May 29, 2013

Qari apparently had no DMWs.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:36 PM on May 29, 2013

PULL UP IF I PULL UP
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:40 PM on May 29, 2013

oprah? harpo?
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:46 PM on May 29, 2013

noon.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:48 PM on May 29, 2013

Mom
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:21 PM on May 29, 2013

LOL
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:21 PM on May 29, 2013

KKK
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:21 PM on May 29, 2013

JJ
posted by Kabanos at 8:24 PM on May 29, 2013

It's a STI
posted by Kabanos at 8:30 PM on May 29, 2013

he did, eh?
Canadian palindrome
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:33 PM on May 29, 2013

Good gods, you lot are still at it.
posted by vrakatar at 8:35 PM on May 29, 2013

Frankly, vrakatar, we are not a "lot", we are a "self-chosen few".
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:45 PM on May 29, 2013

Eh? Backwards? So be it.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:47 PM on May 29, 2013

Exactly! Elite.
posted by shothotbot at 8:48 PM on May 29, 2013

Death before disalphabetization!
posted by Kabanos at 8:49 PM on May 29, 2013

Civic. Adnoh.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:56 PM on May 29, 2013

Bombard a drab mob.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:09 PM on May 29, 2013

A dog, a plan, a canal: pagoda.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:10 PM on May 29, 2013

Zinc in the only word that ends in inc.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:11 PM on May 29, 2013

Although she didn't know about it at the time, his legs were not as solid as they appeared.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:13 PM on May 29, 2013

But it didn't matter to her. She didn't care about the legs. She only cared about the...
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:14 PM on May 29, 2013

curl in his in hair, which reminded her so much of the...
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:16 PM on May 29, 2013

Degree to which her life had spiraled out of control in the past 48 hours.
posted by Kabanos at 9:23 PM on May 29, 2013

Everything seemed so positive Monday morning when she reported to her new boss...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:27 PM on May 29, 2013

Fred Farkle, CEO of the #2 company in the field of...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:27 PM on May 29, 2013

Golf Cart Repair!
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:04 PM on May 29, 2013

He was sitting on the floor outside his office, in a meditative pose, prompting her to think...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:48 PM on May 29, 2013

"I must have new resumes ready to send out at a moment's notice..."
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:49 PM on May 29, 2013

"...just in case he takes the next step and..."
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:50 PM on May 29, 2013

"...kills a sacred cow in the office lunch room."
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:51 PM on May 29, 2013

Lacking practical knowledge of both zen and executive office layouts, she...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:52 PM on May 29, 2013

Morning...(yawn)
posted by Namlit at 1:33 AM on May 30, 2013

Nothing for breakfast yet? What kind of a place isthis!
posted by Namlit at 1:34 AM on May 30, 2013

Ok, I'll go downstairs and make some coffee (stretch)
posted by Namlit at 1:34 AM on May 30, 2013

Pu-erh and pancakes for me, please.
posted by box at 5:49 AM on May 30, 2013

Quisp, do they still make that? I never go down the cereal aisle.
posted by box at 5:49 AM on May 30, 2013

Really all I want first thing in the morning is coffee. And then the next thing I know it's midafternoon and I've drunk a full pot and can't figure out why I'm so pissed off at the whole world until I stand up from my chair to get another cup and see those sparkles in the corner of my vision that tell me that oh yeah I forgot to consume any calories that weren't in the form of milk or sugar packets. Again.

It's a wonder I've survived this many years, to be honest.
posted by ook at 6:42 AM on May 30, 2013

Sometimes I get tired because for some masochistic reason I've made the life decision to not get enough sleep ever. I've been told that caffeine wakes you up. However, I've been drinking lots of coffee and Coke Zero recently and I swear that by the fourth injection at about 3pm or so I'm as tired as it's possible for a motherfucker to be. I'm intensely unhappy about this and I plan on staying up until 1.30am dwelling on it.
posted by h00py at 6:48 AM on May 30, 2013

The tiredness dissipates as soon as I can start realistically anticipating the end of the work day, though.
posted by h00py at 7:04 AM on May 30, 2013

Unique, I know. Still, I curse you, self-inflicted lethargy at 3pm every day even with coffee!
posted by h00py at 7:05 AM on May 30, 2013

Vera awoke from her micro-nap at 3.05pm and looked around. Her screen was flashing and there were strange beep boop noises in the air. Work was not turning out at all like she'd expected.
posted by h00py at 7:08 AM on May 30, 2013

> WATCH SCREEN
posted by ook at 7:09 AM on May 30, 2013

> X SELF

Good looking as usual.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:16 AM on May 30, 2013

> YES

It's nice that you have a positive outlook on life.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:18 AM on May 30, 2013

> Z

You wait.

Suddenly, the computer stops beeping, and a single window of text fills the screen.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:19 AM on May 30, 2013

> ASK VERA ABOUT COMPUTER

Vera replies "I don't know anything about that. Wait, who are you? What are you doing in my office?"
posted by ook at 7:21 AM on May 30, 2013

> BASH VERAS HEAD IN

What to you want to bash Vera's head in with?
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:26 AM on May 30, 2013

> CONSIDERABLE GUSTO

You bash Vera's head in with considerable gusto. Vera is an amorphous sentient cloud; this has little effect on anything but her mood.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:44 AM on May 30, 2013 [3 favorites]

> DROP GUSTO

Dropped.

You find that you are not as enthusiastic about this break-in now that you've been caught by a nigh-invulnerable monstrosity, and feel your shoulders slump.

Vera is now glowing an angry shade of crimson, and floating closer towards you.

You feel a slight breeze coming from the window you left open as you broke in.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:59 AM on May 30, 2013

> FEEL BREEZE

The cool spring air wafts into the room, dissipating the amorphous sentient cloud.

[You have earned 10 points out of a possible 570 points]
posted by ook at 8:10 AM on May 30, 2013

> UNDO

You skipped a letter. You have earned -10 points.
posted by ook at 8:10 AM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]

> EXAMINE BREEZE

The cool spring air looks like just the thing to dissipate an amorphous sentient cloud.
posted by ook at 8:11 AM on May 30, 2013

> EGRESS

Vera's temporal attack is disrupted when she is distracted by your fancy vocabulary, mister "look at me", mister "I like fancy verbs", I bet you're real proud of your college education.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:11 AM on May 30, 2013

> FEEL BREEZE

You feel not only cool spring air but also a strange sense of deja vu.
posted by ook at 8:12 AM on May 30, 2013

> GRESS

Well done; using the non-digital window prevents Vera from following you as you leave.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:14 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

> HINT

On your way out of the room you notice that the block of text on Vera's screen looks noticeably clearer now.
posted by ook at 8:29 AM on May 30, 2013

> INV

You are carrying nothing physical. On your shoulders, however, rests the weight of the world.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:31 AM on May 30, 2013

> JUMP

Wheeeeeee!
posted by barnacles at 8:32 AM on May 30, 2013

> HIP-HOP

You jump up and down a few times. And you do stop.
posted by box at 8:35 AM on May 30, 2013

> KICK

Can you kick it? Yes, you can.
posted by box at 8:36 AM on May 30, 2013

> LOOK SHOULDERS

You should really consider using a conditioner.
posted by barnacles at 8:37 AM on May 30, 2013

> MOVE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD

You try to slide the weight of the world off of your shoulders, but it immediately falls right back in place. Gravity, doncha know.
posted by ook at 8:41 AM on May 30, 2013

> NORTH

(To Alaska) All through your life, Johnny Horton has been a key influence on your character.
posted by barnacles at 8:42 AM on May 30, 2013

> OPEN YOUTUBE

Vera's workplace seems to have highly restrictive internet usage policies; there doesn't even seem to be a WiFi signal in here.
posted by ook at 8:44 AM on May 30, 2013

> PAGE VERA'S IT MANAGER

Quickly transporting yourself to 1992, you pop 25 cents into a payphone and dial the pager number Cynthia shared with you at the party last night.
posted by barnacles at 8:46 AM on May 30, 2013

> QUOTE SHAKESPEARE

Do you mean in English or in Klingon?
posted by barnacles at 8:51 AM on May 30, 2013

> RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!

I'm sorry, I don't know how to "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!".

... okay, I do, but I'm still not gonna do it.
posted by barnacles at 8:52 AM on May 30, 2013

> SCORE

You have scored 226 out of a possible 227.

You could have scored higher if you had given a kiss to that Sarien guard, but live and learn, I guess. He was nice, too.
posted by barnacles at 8:53 AM on May 30, 2013

> TAKE ALL

Taken.
posted by ook at 8:59 AM on May 30, 2013

> UNDO

Untaken.
posted by ook at 9:07 AM on May 30, 2013

> VERBOSE

Verbose mode on.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 9:08 AM on May 30, 2013

> WHat else can we do in this thread before my head explodes boom
posted by Namlit at 9:10 AM on May 30, 2013

> W

You blaze a trail that leads to vice so easily enticed by darker means when out of the wilderness of choice you hear that one still voice call to you go west young man go west young man when the evil go east go west young man go west young man find a heart that's golden. Why must you wander like a cloud following the crowd well I don't know but you're asking for the will to fight to wear the crown of life and you say go go west young man go west young man when the evil go east go west young man go west young man find a heart that's golden. The mind is weak the heart is frail when it goes beyond the pale so unwise go west young man go west young man when the evil go east go west young man go west young man find a heart that's golden.
posted by ook at 9:11 AM on May 30, 2013

> X LYRICS

Huh, it turns out there's more than one song by that name. Go figure.
posted by ook at 9:17 AM on May 30, 2013

> YODEL AT OOK

You yodel the yodel of centuries, calling ook through multiple dimensions.

ook returns, and promises to tell more of their stories, or at least sing you a song.
posted by barnacles at 9:20 AM on May 30, 2013

> ZOINKS!

Jinkies!!
posted by barnacles at 9:21 AM on May 30, 2013

> ACQUIRE LUNCH

You snag the last piece of lemon meringue pie from the fridge. Not terribly healthy as lunches go, but better than nothing but coffee at least. At that thought, you pour yourself the last cup of now-tepid coffee still sitting in the pot and take it and the pie pan upstairs to your desk. After you eat this, you promise yourself, you'll get some damn work done instead of playing the alphabet game: it's just new-framework hurdles, once you get started coding you'll be fine but at the moment you're still paralyzed by worries that you don't fully understand the system you're coding in and even if you write something that works it might not be right, maybe there's an easier or better or more idiomatic way, so you alternate between skimming other peoples' tutorials and staring at your empty IDE and flipping back to MeTa to play the alphabet game yet again. The only reason you even have lemon meringue pie is because your son read the Amelia Bedelia book and though it was hilarious and wanted to make a pie just like the pie she made, but after he tasted it he thought it was too sweet and sort of lost interest and the last piece has been sitting forlornly in the fridge, slowly leaking a little lemon-flavored piddle of liquid into the pan which you scoop up contemplatively with the last of the crust. You haven't touched the coffee cup yet. You're already at that ragged edge of overcaffeination where it will stop helping you feel productive and will instead start making you just jittery and want to get up from your desk and pace around, but you know you're going to drink that cup anyway. You take a sip. No more pie. It's been ten minutes. Lunch time is over. Time to write some code. Now if you could just figure out how best to begin...
posted by ook at 9:46 AM on May 30, 2013

> BACKBONE.JS

Yeah, but you wish they'd settled on Angular instead; it's got a steeper learning curve but looks like it'd be a better fit in the long run. Too late now; that decision was made before you even got hired. Make the best of it. You get up from the desk, irritably wander to the bathroom and back, turn on Pandora, listen to a snippet of yodeling from some distant european country, turn it off again. You're out of coffee; maybe you should make another pot. You find yourself pacing in the living room but don't remember what you went in there for. It's a beautiful sunny day outside but you don't have a good excuse to go out; the lawn is already mowed and it rained too recently to do any weeding and anyway you promised yourself you'd have this prototype built by the end of the month at the latest. The shopvac is still full of dandelion seeds, you remember. Maybe you ought to edit together the video you shot and post it in the alphabet thread, since they're the ones who inspired you to do that in the first place, and they might get a kick out of it. Maybe it'd even turn into a meme. You could be shopvac dandelion guy. That'd be pretty cool. You guess. But you shouldn't be editing video; you should be writing code. Sit down and write some code, dammit.
posted by ook at 9:55 AM on May 30, 2013

Coding, however, goes poorly, and only makes your think about Hungarian variable notation, which leads you to think of Reverse Polish Notation, and order of operands, and then it occurs to you that perhaps writing against someone else's prompt would be more in the spirit of a collaborative text adventure than supplying, and then answering your own prompt. What do you do now?

> OPEN BOTTLE
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:00 AM on May 30, 2013

Exactly what you needed.

> DRINK

(Ha! I got screwed up by being too dumb for alphabets and then seeing "c"ortex ... I'm not even sure what letter we're on now)
posted by barnacles at 10:01 AM on May 30, 2013

Even as you finish your drink you're still thirsty. Still hungry. Maybe you should get a real lunch instead of just pie. At the very least you could take the empty pie plate back down to the kitchen. Or take a shower or something. It's been a couple days. More than a couple, to be honest. Sometimes you wonder if this work-from-home thing is really all that healthy for you in the long run. But you've been doing it for so long you're totally spoiled for office work, the idea of having to get dressed up every day, maybe even wear a tie, drive somewhere every morning, sit in a cubicle all day listening to other people talk on the phone -- ugh, no, not a chance you could ever go back to that. This happens every time you get a new job, every single time; you'd think you'd be used to it by now, after fifteen years you should have developed some better ways to ease into things or at least gotten over the paralyzing anxiety which you know intellectually but not, like, actually, is just imposter syndrome, or else you've just been implausibly lucky your whole career to not have been caught out as faking it all along.

> FIND MOJO
posted by ook at 10:03 AM on May 30, 2013

Gone, apparently. Maybe you should keep looking.

> G.
posted by ook at 10:33 AM on May 30, 2013

> HAVE A NICE DAY

Try as you might, you don't.
posted by Kabanos at 11:07 AM on May 30, 2013

> IMBIBE.

There, that's better now.
posted by donnagirl at 11:43 AM on May 30, 2013

> JAZZ JUNE

Although the gin is refreshing, something in it reminds you of your own mortality.
posted by box at 11:50 AM on May 30, 2013

> KANOODLE

You do not have a noodle.
posted by Kabanos at 12:27 PM on May 30, 2013

>LUNCH

Grabs Carls Jr. coupons that came in the junk mail bundle yesterday, heads for drive-thru.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:41 PM on May 30, 2013

> MAKE BANDNAME JOKE

"Considerable Gusto" is the name of my ska band (or the stage name of the drummer)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:43 PM on May 30, 2013

>NOODLE

You do not have a noodle.
You have a Western Bacon Cheeseburger (actually two, because coupon. saving one for tomorrow's lunch, they reheat well.)
Maybe Kabanos has a noodle. I'll ask him.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:46 PM on May 30, 2013

>OGLE

Nothing to see here.
posted by shothotbot at 1:09 PM on May 30, 2013

> PUMP UP THE JAM

You pump it up.
posted by Kabanos at 1:18 PM on May 30, 2013

> QUEST

You have no current quests. Perhaps that is why you are wasting time making jokes, having lunch, and pumping the jam.
posted by never used baby shoes at 1:26 PM on May 30, 2013

> REPEAT.

Lather. Rinse.
Lather. Rinse.
Lather. Rinse.
Lather. Rinse.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:29 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

>STOP "WORK" FOR THE DAY

What the hell, it's almost five, and it's not like you're going to get anything done in the next half hour that you didn't do in the last seven and a half...
posted by ook at 1:31 PM on May 30, 2013

> TRY TO LOAD META ALPHABET THREAD

Sorry, that won't load for you with the equipment you have.
posted by donnagirl at 1:36 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

> STILL WORKS

After, like, 30 minutes
posted by Namlit at 1:38 PM on May 30, 2013

> TIME SINK

Scrub with bleach to get it shineh
posted by Namlit at 1:39 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

> UHBLIQUE STRAGETIES

It is now upside down and green. And furious.

(It's gotten to the point where it now feels weird that other mefi threads load so quickly)
posted by ook at 2:01 PM on May 30, 2013

> VALIDATE

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, dammit, I could be elected Senator from certain states.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:25 PM on May 30, 2013

> VERB

You try verbing, but it gets you nounwhere.
posted by Kabanos at 2:25 PM on May 30, 2013

>WENDELL

ends.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:25 PM on May 30, 2013

> XRAY SPECS ON

You are now wearing xray glasses.
posted by donnagirl at 2:31 PM on May 30, 2013

> YELL AT PARSER

YOU'VE BEEN YELLING AT THE PARSER FOR THE LAST SIX HOURS!

Sheesh.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 2:50 PM on May 30, 2013

> ZOOM IN ON GRUE

You see a naked Grue through your x-ray specs. It's kinda hot. What's this? "Grus In Specs May Be Closer Than They Appear"?

You were eaten by a Grue.

***You have died.***

(or as my 5-year old says, "You got dead")
posted by Kabanos at 2:55 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]

At least you got to see a hot naked grue. That's more than most people get.
posted by ook at 3:24 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]

Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish anyway.
posted by pianissimo at 4:02 PM on May 30, 2013

Can't disagree it's better than a hot hydrochloric acid eye rinse.
posted by Kabanos at 4:28 PM on May 30, 2013

Doesn't that depend on the fish?
posted by Namlit at 4:30 PM on May 30, 2013

Eeek. I got my 1900th favorite in this thread, just now. Eeek.
posted by Namlit at 4:33 PM on May 30, 2013

Favorites are like snow crystals. Beautiful while they last, but they don't last long.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:35 PM on May 30, 2013

Got to celebrate while they last, then...
posted by Namlit at 4:35 PM on May 30, 2013

*Hazardous desk dance*
posted by Namlit at 4:36 PM on May 30, 2013

I favorite all of my own comments, because I believe in them.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:37 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

John Doe is a real person and recently I needed to locate him, so I did a Peoplefinder search for "John Doe".

But I'm not sure if the John Doe I'm looking for is the one in New Brunswick, NJ, or the one in Kingston, MA.

He has curly hair and likes to eat cheeseburgers. Do any of you know him?
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:42 PM on May 30, 2013

Just go ahead, if it makes you feel good.
posted by Namlit at 4:42 PM on May 30, 2013

Kitler. Hitler's kitten.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:43 PM on May 30, 2013

Love is hard to find these days. Unless you search for it on Google, where there are over 4 billion results.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:44 PM on May 30, 2013

Money can't buy love, it's true. But the sadder truth is that love can't buy money.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:45 PM on May 30, 2013

No money can definitely buy no love.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:46 PM on May 30, 2013

Now you're veering off into clavdivs' realm...
posted by Namlit at 4:46 PM on May 30, 2013

Orations of cryptic content
posted by Namlit at 4:47 PM on May 30, 2013

Purple People Eater: People Eater that's Purple, or Eater of Purple People?
posted by Kabanos at 4:50 PM on May 30, 2013

Quisling: gerund form of Quisl
posted by ook at 4:52 PM on May 30, 2013

really? the answer is in the lyrics of the original song:
"I said Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line
He said eatin' purple people and it sure is fine"
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:01 PM on May 30, 2013

Something tells me that purple people don't taste all that great. No precious, not tasty at all.
posted by Namlit at 5:05 PM on May 30, 2013

THESE PEOPLE TASTE LIKE PURPLE ::can't stop feeling the carpet with my face::
posted by ook at 5:07 PM on May 30, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, you don't eat the purple parts.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:17 PM on May 30, 2013

Violet was her NAME.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:18 PM on May 30, 2013

Violet is the same color as purple, right?
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:18 PM on May 30, 2013

We could go on to another musical question from the 1950's:
"Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?"
(and does today's modern chewing gum do it less than the older gum did?)
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:19 PM on May 30, 2013

Xanthan gum is a polysaccharide secreted by the bacterium Xanthomonas campestris.

Yum. Xanthan gum. So chewy. So bacteriummy!
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:21 PM on May 30, 2013

Yellow is associated with cowardice. Why?

Why pick on a color? What did yellow ever do to you?
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:28 PM on May 30, 2013

Zebras were opposed to forced busing. Some zebras were sent to the white schools and some were sent to the black schools, but none of it made any sense.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:30 PM on May 30, 2013

Allegory is a literary device in which characters or events in a literary, visual, or musical art form represent or symbolize ideas and concepts.

It doesn't have anything at all with being gory, as you might have thought.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:32 PM on May 30, 2013

Bildungsroman is a very popular form of storytelling whereby the author bases the plot on the overall growth of the central character throughout the timeline of the story.

It doesn't have anything to do with Roman buildings, as you might have thought.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:35 PM on May 30, 2013

Caesura is a complete pause in a line of poetry or in a musical composition.

It was not invented by Julius Caesura.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:39 PM on May 30, 2013

Dactyl in poetry is a long syllable followed by two short syllables, as determined by syllable weight, and totally unrelated to the common name for a flying dinosaur, which is a ditrochee.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:48 PM on May 30, 2013

Epic Simile, also known as Homeric Simile for the Greek author, NOT the cartoon character, is a language device that uses "like" but is not usable on Facebook.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:51 PM on May 30, 2013

For what it's worth, dactylopedes - prehistoric animals who moved across the Earth in one long movement followed by two short movements - never existed.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:01 PM on May 30, 2013

Gynosaurs were prehistoric animals obsessively concerned with women's literature. They went extinct when Amazons took over their distribution network.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:26 PM on May 30, 2013

Haikubots were invented in Japan in the year 2300. They were valuable robotic assistants until the Great Syllable Shortage of 2340 forced cutbacks of seventeen syllables to sixteen.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:26 PM on May 30, 2013

Idioms are formed through volcanic activity.
posted by box at 6:32 PM on May 30, 2013

Idiots were a major demographic during the beginning of the 21^st century.

Much of the contemporary literature was aimed at idiots. This is evident in the numerous texts still preserved in the library: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Cruise Vacations, The Complete Idiot's Guide to BBQ,... and so on.

It's pretty clear, looking back at that epoch, that the Idiots were a powerful political force. But they were always challenged by another faction; the Dummies.

As historians, when we review the basic corpus from that time period, the Idiots and the Dummies seem to have been equally matched. Cruise Vacations for Dummies and BBQ for Dummies were two texts obviously aimed at countermanding the Idiot encroachment upon Dummy territory.

It's not clear how the war between the Idiots and the Dummies ended. Both left substantial documentation, but honestly, we can't bring ourselves to keep reading it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:37 PM on May 30, 2013

Jeremiad was named after the Biblical prophet Jeremiah, and NOT an advertising agency guy named Jerry. Also, despite being a prophet, Jeremiah did not predict it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:37 PM on May 30, 2013

Kerning, surprisingly, is rarely done well in the area around Bakersfield, California.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:41 PM on May 30, 2013

Loch Ness Monster can't possibly be considered a monster anymore, I think. Really, if you haven't seen the monster in decades and nobody has been killed because of it, we should stop calling it a monster.

Just my two cents.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:46 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

kITkAT, THE CAT i INHERITED FROM A NEIGHBOR LAST YEAR, JUST WALKED ON MY COMPUTER KEYBOARD FOR THE FIRST TIME, GENERATING NO HUMOROUS POETRY AND HAVING MINIMAL EFFECT EXCEPT TO MY capslock KEY.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:46 PM on May 30, 2013

Meatloaf and Kickstarter in a current-issue New York cartoon
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:54 PM on May 30, 2013

New Yorker Magazine Heck

(related, this week's New Yorker Caption Contest Cartoon)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:54 PM on May 30, 2013

OMG New Yorker cartoon sex! (kind of)

(and other sexy stuff here - third pillow)

(and totally single cell sex here)

Whatever happened to the subtlety we've been accustomed to for the last 85 years?
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:03 PM on May 30, 2013

please, New Yorker, this one isn't even funny anymore, because it's totally true
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:04 PM on May 30, 2013

Palm reading is a Science. Many people ask me for my opinion about palm reading.

Sometimes it's quite quite awkward. "Hey, twoleftfeet! What do you think of palm reading?" they ask.

And I have to tell them, "yo, dude... I'm just waiting in line to get a hot dog. I don't have time to think about that."

But they persist. "Twoleftfeet, you are a scholar and a gentleman, and you invented the idea of breathing through the ear holes. So I want to ask you what you think of palmistry."

"Leave me alone," I usually say, "I'm just trying to get a motherfucking hot dog."

But they persist, and more often than not I relent. So desperate is their need for knowledge.

So I will share my deep knowledge with you, so you don't piss me off in the hot dog line.

Basically, there are two ways to read palms. My preferred method is to read them from left to right, from top to bottom. But some other cultures read them from bottom to top and right to left.

Once I met a blind palm reader, who could only read palms in Braille. But that's a different story.

It's normally a matter of reading the important lines on the person's palm. There's a Life line. There's a Heart line. There's a Moneyline, which is hosted by Lou Dobbs. There is an IND Culver Line, which connects with the BMD Brighton Line, if you're on your way to Coney Island. There used to be a game show called "What's My Line?", where celebrities attempted palmistry. Some of these lines don't exist anymore, having been smudged over into blurs.

I try to be up front with my clients when they come to me for my advice and my wisdom. I tell them that Tarot cards are a crock of shit, and palm reading is Scientific.

Many great scientists contributed to the development of palmistry. Hands Christian Anderson is one example, though not technically a scientist.

One time a client gave me the finger. I was able to predict his impending death from that, though that didn't become a reality until I ran into him two weeks later (with my car).

I try to be humble about my gift. Not everybody can stare at somebody's hand and tell them what their financial future will be. But many of the people I meet on the street seem to sense that I have that skill. That's why they have their hand out.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:09 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Quorn husking is a science. One must use care when husking a quorn. They are made of mushrooms. Many people do not know this, but it is true. The husks are applied afterwards, first as thin layers of glaze, then as those begin to thicken more solid flakes of chitin can be placed always in parallel layers. It is a delicate process indeed, the husking of quorn.
posted by ook at 7:30 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Right about the time I moved into Area 52 I started to notice unusual activity from the neighbors over in Area 51. There were lights late at night, and strange sounds. I started to worry about it.

I baked some carrot cake and headed over there. "Hi, I'm your new neighbor, next door in Area 52. Here's some carrot cake. I don't mean to be be a nosy neighbor, but you people seem to be doing something weird."

"Bzong, bgggerg. Z^{z^{z^{z^{z^{z^z}}}}} Gudung_{gudung_{gudung_gudung}} XXR!@# + N pt &&& 3 qwyxprtq ddmfrpuffrg," they said.

And you know, that's good enough for me. I try to keep an open mind about the people around me. And who knows? I might need their help when I try to join the local country club.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:02 PM on May 30, 2013

Sexuality isn't something that comes natural to me, and I suppose that it doesn't come naturally to any animal, and must be learned through extensive reading and expensive training courses. That's why I signed up for a class in Tantric Yoga at my local community college.

The professor was very nice. Each class we learned a new position, or a new posture. We were taught to embrace a state of inner calm, all the while being involved in the external world. I got pretty good at it, reaching a state of inner peace in half the time that it took some of the other students.

Toward the end of the class I achieved Enlightenment, but I flunked anyway, because I didn't do well on the final exam, which was multiple choice.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:14 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

There are very few jokes that work in a eulogy.

I've learned this the hard way.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:23 PM on May 30, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, one of the giant heads on Mount Rushmore is not like the others.

It's Elton John. I don't know why he's there.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:36 PM on May 30, 2013

"Vernacular" is a word that we don't use very often in my village because we prefer a different word.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:38 PM on May 30, 2013

Who, What, Where, When, and Why are the five W's of Journalism. But not Which.

Or Wombats Kissing Puppies.

This is why the Internet is killing Journalism.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:43 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

X→Y is a contravariant functor between a Grothendieck topos and a 2-category of presheaves. Discuss.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:13 PM on May 30, 2013

Yowling cats inspired the term "caterwaul", from a combination of "cat" and "yawl". This is an alternative etymology and cannot be found in the OED or any authoritative source.
posted by Athanassiel at 10:26 PM on May 30, 2013

Zeppo Marx got his public nickname for the Graf Zeppelin. Nobody much cared because he played straight man for the first few movies and then stopped performing and managed the team.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:34 PM on May 30, 2013

And so it goes.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:35 PM on May 30, 2013

Because stuff.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:49 PM on May 30, 2013

Cats are popular on the internet. So are beards. And so are pirates. So somebody had to put them altogether in a webcomic. Hey, it's not bad.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:53 PM on May 30, 2013

Dogs are popular everywhere else, by contrast.
posted by ook at 10:56 PM on May 30, 2013

Eunuch porn. Surprisingly nonexistent on the web (though I've never really looked.)
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:08 PM on May 30, 2013

Femdominoes.

Really... it's a porn category. Males are humiliated by females with superior skill at dominoes.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:10 PM on May 30, 2013

Grammer porn. Little old ladies having sex and breaking down your sentence structure.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:11 PM on May 30, 2013

Hot young chicks porn. Live cams in the overheated poultry factory.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:14 PM on May 30, 2013

I and I vibrators. Rastafarian lesbian porn.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:15 PM on May 30, 2013

Jørn Pørn.

Norwegians.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:19 PM on May 30, 2013

Keystone Kops porn. Men in uniform rush around and fail to get anyone aroused, let alone off.
posted by Athanassiel at 11:34 PM on May 30, 2013

Like a virgin porn. Madonna attempts a comeback, but nobody believes she's been touched for the very first time.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:37 PM on May 30, 2013

Korn Porn... I could go several ways with this, but why bother?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:39 PM on May 30, 2013

Macadam porn. People dressed in AFL uniforms pelt each other with macadamia nuts while running around on macadam-surfaced roads.

This is the fault of a discussion my workmates and I are actually having.
posted by Athanassiel at 11:40 PM on May 30, 2013

Mourn porn. A very sad kind of porn where people are unhappy and think about a dead person.

Never really caught on for most people.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:41 PM on May 30, 2013

Not Safe For Work porn.

Oh, c'mon. You know you want it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:43 PM on May 30, 2013

Ninja Porn. You can't see what they're doing but it's gotta be filthy.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:44 PM on May 30, 2013

Oreo porn. Varies according to the watcher. Some pull off the top and scrape the creamy filling off with their bottom teeth. Some dunk in milk. Some deep fry. All done naked.
posted by Athanassiel at 11:49 PM on May 30, 2013

Orn Porn. Ornithologists way too much into birds.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:49 PM on May 30, 2013

Pornographic porn. I mean, you've got porn. We understand that. But this porn is pornographic!
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:51 PM on May 30, 2013

Quorn Porn. It's a science. (and a very lazy running joke. in fact, more like a strolling joke)
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:53 PM on May 30, 2013

Roomba porn. Scatter confetti on the floor. Turn on Roomba. Get naked and make out while watching it trundle around sucking it all up.
posted by Athanassiel at 11:59 PM on May 30, 2013

Sexually explicit porn from the Redundant Department of Redundancy Department.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:00 AM on May 31, 2013

Safe For Work Porn. No office machines were harmed during the making of this.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:02 AM on May 31, 2013

Train into tunnel porn. Watch a film composed entirely of clips of trains thrusting into a tunnel, like at the end of North by Northwest. Subtle.
posted by Athanassiel at 12:03 AM on May 31, 2013

Threesome porn. Never done that. I imagine it gets even more difficult with four or five.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:03 AM on May 31, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, your elbow is trying to copulate with my nose.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:05 AM on May 31, 2013

Very sadly mistaken, sir. My elbow is in a committed monogamous relationship with my own nose. It's not easy, but worth it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:08 AM on May 31, 2013 [1 favorite]

Why don't your lips ever kiss your elbow? I doubt your sincerity, sir.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:10 AM on May 31, 2013

X-rated. That's my sex life, on a scale from A to Z.

I pity the fool with a sex life that's A-rated.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:25 AM on May 31, 2013

Yoga. Twelve years of yoga. Twelve years of stretching. And I still can't give myself a blowjob.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:26 AM on May 31, 2013

Zoophilia is the name for what used to be called "bestiality". It's a crime against your own species. But that cute little penguin keeps looking at me. I don't know how much longer I can resist.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:28 AM on May 31, 2013

An advantage of being located in europe is that we can proceed with this now with a rested mind. It might have some positive consequences.
posted by Namlit at 4:17 AM on May 31, 2013

Be that as it may, I have to say that the train and tunnel image up a few comments strikes me as too remote from that topic. I mean, like with pizza-cutter wheels, elevated noise levels, diesel fumes and iron dust and everything involved just how subtle an image for what are we contemplating.
posted by Namlit at 4:20 AM on May 31, 2013

Carefully intellectualizing the discourse away from the curious contortions of last night.
posted by Namlit at 4:21 AM on May 31, 2013

Dearly needed fresh start on a beautiful sunny day.
posted by Namlit at 4:22 AM on May 31, 2013

Estimated outcome: another excursion into hitherto unknown corners of collective mind.
posted by Namlit at 4:23 AM on May 31, 2013

Final point of arrival:
posted by Namlit at 4:24 AM on May 31, 2013

Göran, who else.
posted by Namlit at 4:24 AM on May 31, 2013

Hint for those of you who haven't yet met Göran: read upthread about this hero of Summer Sweden and bad turns of life. (spoiler alert: you're going to meet parts of David Niven, too)
posted by Namlit at 4:26 AM on May 31, 2013

I will leave it at that for the time being. I still have to read two papers about pre-school pedagogy that need grading on Monday. No rest, no justice. (and yes, I seem to be doing exactly every type of thing imaginable, to keep afloat. I'm sorry for being confusing).
posted by Namlit at 4:28 AM on May 31, 2013

Just so you know, this thread is *not* all about Namlit. Perhaps it should be about Hamlet? Or other aspects related to Shakespeare, such as the play about that ruler, I forget which one.
posted by jeremias at 7:27 AM on May 31, 2013

Kind of like the idea of it being about ram's lip, myself.
posted by h00py at 7:30 AM on May 31, 2013

Luxurious ram with lips
[And yeah. This thread is about Göran, and Vera and stuff. And maybe about a few swell ooks and left-over feet. I never claimed...]
posted by Namlit at 8:10 AM on May 31, 2013

My my my, "swell" am I?
posted by ook at 8:25 AM on May 31, 2013

Numbness can go with swelling. Are you numb?
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:33 AM on May 31, 2013

Ook cannot be swell. I have MetaFilter exclusivity on being swell. And swolen.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:51 AM on May 31, 2013

Possibilities. They are endless. So why are so many popular movies and TV shows overburdened with impossibilities?
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:52 AM on May 31, 2013

Quiet time. We may need it, but it will not help us to reach our ultimate goal.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:53 AM on May 31, 2013

Reached our primary goal of setting the record for most comments in a MetaTalk thread, but the goal of setting the site-wide goal is still beyond our reach... I'd call it a "stretch goal" but that sounds too much like Kickstarter and may get us in trouble.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:56 AM on May 31, 2013

So ends another Very Meta segment of this Very MeTa thread... (It's all in the secondary capitalization).
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:57 AM on May 31, 2013

The only stretch goal I care about is being able to touch my toes. But the swelling keeps getting in the way
posted by ook at 9:19 AM on May 31, 2013

U KNOW IT BABY

THATS RIGHT THE SWELLING WONT LET ME BEND OVER

LET THE ENTENDRES BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY
posted by ook at 9:37 AM on May 31, 2013

Very Meta Stretches. Swellings after the fold.
posted by Namlit at 9:38 AM on May 31, 2013

WATCH AS I PULL THIS RABBIT OUT OF MY...
posted by ook at 9:39 AM on May 31, 2013

X-file
posted by Namlit at 9:40 AM on May 31, 2013

Your rabbit's been somewhat flattened.
posted by Namlit at 9:40 AM on May 31, 2013

Zambonis have that effect on rabbits.
posted by donnagirl at 10:19 AM on May 31, 2013

And so the cycle begins anew.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 10:53 AM on May 31, 2013

BEST FLATTENED RABBIT YOU BUY NOW
posted by ook at 11:00 AM on May 31, 2013

Come, come my friend. For you, special price. Only 14 d'wala. My children will starve, but so be it.
posted by shothotbot at 11:25 AM on May 31, 2013

Do it. Rabbit flat rate.
posted by Namlit at 11:28 AM on May 31, 2013

Elongated ears free of charge.
posted by Namlit at 11:28 AM on May 31, 2013

Fair exchange rates offered for other currencies as well but NONE OF YOUR BITCOIN if you want to give me coin you give me the whole thing
posted by ook at 11:29 AM on May 31, 2013

Generous discounts for AAA* members!

*(American Accordionists' Association)
posted by box at 11:36 AM on May 31, 2013

Half of a flattened rabbit only 9 d'walla, 13 grubniks. That is half of a flattened rabbit of course, not a whole half-flattened rabbit. In case you were wondering.
posted by shothotbot at 11:40 AM on May 31, 2013

Incidentally, you'll have a front part or a back part. Flattened rabbits can't be sliced lengthwise.
posted by Namlit at 11:42 AM on May 31, 2013

Just that one; no we don't have more.
posted by Namlit at 11:43 AM on May 31, 2013

Killers. :(
posted by rabbitrabbit at 11:50 AM on May 31, 2013 [1 favorite]

Lay down right here rabbitrabbit. Just next to the press.
posted by shothotbot at 12:02 PM on May 31, 2013

Maybe it also only looked flattened for a moment. Okay?
posted by Namlit at 12:39 PM on May 31, 2013

Nice, let's be nice. Maybe buy what really is flatsquirrel?
posted by Namlit at 12:43 PM on May 31, 2013

Other recipe, flatsquirrel. Very nice...many spices.
posted by Namlit at 12:43 PM on May 31, 2013

perfect piquant peppery
posted by Namlit at 12:44 PM on May 31, 2013

quish delish (or was it squorch de-splortch? I forget)
posted by Namlit at 12:45 PM on May 31, 2013

Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat! Or a squirrel - hi, Rocky.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:10 PM on May 31, 2013

Squirrelosophy
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:11 PM on May 31, 2013

there are people who think SQL should be pronounced "squirrel". I think we should leave them alone to eat their peanut butter and play table tennis.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:13 PM on May 31, 2013

understandably misunderstood...
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:14 PM on May 31, 2013

Very Interesting
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:15 PM on May 31, 2013

WWWD: What Would Wendell Do?
related to...
WDWD: What DID Wendell Do?
and...
WTFDWD: What The Fuck Did Wendell Do?
or just...
WTFW: What The Fuck Wendell (or What The Fuck ɯɐʇɥoʍıǝ?)
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:21 PM on May 31, 2013

Xylophonic!
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:24 PM on May 31, 2013

You Can't Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:10 PM on May 31, 2013

Zero Hour: a 60-minute plus period of time during which no comments added to the Legendary Alphabethread.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:18 PM on May 31, 2013

Aaaaand, let's see if I can come up with a theme that will encourage more people to make comments... something that, so far, I've sucked at...

okay then, what do YOU suck at?
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:20 PM on May 31, 2013

Basic human interaction.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:25 PM on May 31, 2013

Coming up with fun alphabet thread themes.
posted by donnagirl at 3:27 PM on May 31, 2013

Clipping a Balrog's nails
posted by Namlit at 3:27 PM on May 31, 2013

Darning socks.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:28 PM on May 31, 2013

Dancing
posted by Namlit at 3:28 PM on May 31, 2013

Escapades (general)
posted by Namlit at 3:29 PM on May 31, 2013

Foosball. Football. Anything with the "ball" suffix, to be honest.
posted by NoraReed at 3:30 PM on May 31, 2013

Fulfilling destinies.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:30 PM on May 31, 2013

Garfield Comic Mashups (no, wait, that's something I DON'T suck at... uh, right?)
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:38 PM on May 31, 2013

Handling temperatures over 88°F... today's high at the closest weather station to me was 93° [it's currently 87°] and tomorrow's supposed to be warmer.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:42 PM on May 31, 2013

I'm melting! I'm meltiiinngg!! What a world, what a world!
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:44 PM on May 31, 2013

Jello instant pudding. I can never get it totally smooth.
posted by NoraReed at 3:45 PM on May 31, 2013

KitKat the cat petting. 99% of my previous pet-handling experience was with dogs, but she is patiently showing me what to do and what not to do. At least, I assume that's what the biting is about.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:11 PM on May 31, 2013

Lap mangement (when it involves both a laptop computer and a laptop KitKat)
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:12 PM on May 31, 2013

MOJITO. I sucked two of those right down with some tapas for dinner. I'm much better at dinner than I am at breakfast
posted by ook at 5:32 PM on May 31, 2013

Nothing beats a cold drink on a hot day. Except for two cold drinks on a hot day.
posted by ook at 5:33 PM on May 31, 2013

Or a hot chocolate with marshmallows on a cold day.
posted by flabdablet at 6:15 PM on May 31, 2013

peut-être

We're only about halfway through this thing.

When we hit 6000 I'm going to go all out. Advertising blitz. You will see.

Everybody and his uncle will be here.

Please keep it going another thousand or so.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:21 PM on May 31, 2013

Querying the number to beat; this Reddit post had 12,182 comments.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:31 PM on May 31, 2013

Reddit? We are not Reddit, we are a much more exclusive group of Special Snowflakes (with an occasional Special Hailstone).
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:46 PM on May 31, 2013

Snowflakes! Report for duty!
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:48 PM on May 31, 2013

The World Record.

That's what I'm talking about.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:49 PM on May 31, 2013

Understand, it's not going to be easy.
posted by box at 9:05 PM on May 31, 2013

Verily, I say unto you: it will be tough.
posted by shothotbot at 9:10 PM on May 31, 2013

We shall persevere, and the prize will be ours.
posted by donnagirl at 9:19 PM on May 31, 2013

You can do what you want, but the main reason I stick with this thread is to clarify the precisely correct number of tines on a fork. Ordinary dinner forks have four tines, or prongs, and I think this is because "four" and "fork" sound similar. Other types of forks have a different number of tines. The carving fork has only two tines, the cocktail fork has three tines. Five tine forks exist, but not usually at the dinner table, because that would be weird. Forks with six tines are almost unheard of. This manure fork from Amazon claims to have six tines, but I have looked at it very carefully, and I only see four.

No one talks about the one tine fork, because it is not a fork, but rather a spear.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:22 PM on May 31, 2013

X-tremely related: Mister Spork
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:27 PM on May 31, 2013

Zigzagging my way through the corporate bureaucracy that is the Guinness Book of World Records, I've learned that it ordinarily takes them five weeks to begin processing a World Record claim.

But they offer a Fast Track service if you need your record confirmed more quickly. It costs $700.

They should list that under "Weirdest Business Model."
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:52 PM on May 31, 2013

A round of pan galactic gargle blasters for all!

(cocktails and/or hitchhikers guide references)
posted by pianissimo at 10:16 PM on May 31, 2013

"...but not quite, entirely unlike tea..."
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:21 PM on May 31, 2013

Cocktails For Two (sorry, not 42)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:24 PM on May 31, 2013

Dacquiri Joke:

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew the doctor's habit and would always have a drink waiting. But one day the bartender ran out of hazelnut extract, so he substituted hickory nuts. When the doctor arrived, he took a sip and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"

"No, I'm sorry," the bartender replied. "It's a hickory daiquiri, doc."
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:27 PM on May 31, 2013

Everything, the universe and life, not necessarily in that order.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:28 PM on May 31, 2013

Froody
posted by pianissimo at 10:29 PM on May 31, 2013

Gorty Two. (dammit)

(okay, I also should've used "Don't Panic" for D, so feel free to panic)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:31 PM on May 31, 2013

Harmless (Mostly)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:32 PM on May 31, 2013

It's OK, as long as you've got your towel.
posted by pianissimo at 10:33 PM on May 31, 2013

Jynnan tonnyx would go down well right now.
posted by pianissimo at 10:35 PM on May 31, 2013

Kamikaze Kocktail anyone?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:38 PM on May 31, 2013

Let me quote (using my best Stephen Frye impression) "There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory, which states that this has already happened."
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:41 PM on May 31, 2013

Modern physics tells us that the observer and the observed are intimately intertwined, often sharing the same ride to work each morning.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:43 PM on May 31, 2013

Not Hitchhiker related, but the next best available thing, scifi-comedy-wise: Bender.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:52 PM on May 31, 2013

One Ouisghian Zodah please!
posted by pianissimo at 10:57 PM on May 31, 2013

Phylogeny Recapitulates Ontogeny is the name of my new band. We play oldies, but in a new way.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:59 PM on May 31, 2013

Quasars is Portuguese for "What? Sars?"
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:04 PM on May 31, 2013

Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts Of Traal are scary but stupid. They assume that if you can't see it, they can't see you. So you just need to stick a towel over your head. Don't forget your towel if you're hitchhiking the galaxy,
posted by pianissimo at 11:08 PM on May 31, 2013

Slartibartfast, too busy designing coastlines to add to this thread?
posted by pianissimo at 11:14 PM on May 31, 2013

There's more than one way to skin a cat.

God, I love that phrase. That kind of old-timey folk-wisdomy saying takes me back to a forgotten era, when people had the time to sit around the cracker barrel and compare methods for skinning kittens.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:17 PM on May 31, 2013

Universally acknowledged is the truth that...
posted by pianissimo at 11:29 PM on May 31, 2013

Vogon poetry is the third worst in the universe.
posted by pianissimo at 11:30 PM on May 31, 2013

Worst is worst and angst is angst, and if ever the twains should meet it's going be pretty damn depressing.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:32 PM on May 31, 2013

X-treme Big Gulping
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:37 PM on May 31, 2013

Yodeling is a great way to fill your lungs with air and communicate with the greater world.

But you shouldn't do it all the time.

At least, that's what the Judge told me the last time I was in court.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:43 PM on May 31, 2013

Zinfandel is the name we're going to call our fifth child. The other children - Merlot, Chardonnay, Gewürztraminer, and Cabernet Sauvignon - are totally cool with that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:49 PM on May 31, 2013

Addams
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:54 PM on May 31, 2013

Bangor & Aroostook
posted by Namlit at 12:09 AM on June 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

Can't let the chance of using "Bangor" go past. It always sounds like a whole city of sausage to me.
posted by Namlit at 12:17 AM on June 1, 2013

Do you love me? (do you love me) Do you love me? (do you love me) Do you love me? (do you love me) Now... that I... can DANCE!!!!!!
posted by h00py at 2:32 AM on June 1, 2013

Every time it rains it rains pennies from heaven.
posted by h00py at 3:35 AM on June 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

Felix Mendelssohn. "Scottish" Fantasy (Perahia)
posted by Namlit at 4:25 AM on June 1, 2013

Ghost of a Texas Ladies Man. You don't scare me!
posted by h00py at 4:29 AM on June 1, 2013

Hey! Been trying to meet you.
posted by h00py at 4:38 AM on June 1, 2013

In For The Kill Oh, I'm hoping you'll understand!
posted by h00py at 5:34 AM on June 1, 2013

Je T'aime Mon amour!
posted by h00py at 6:11 AM on June 1, 2013

Khatia Buniatishvili (Chopin 4th Ballade)
posted by Namlit at 8:21 AM on June 1, 2013

La vie en rose
posted by Namlit at 8:23 AM on June 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

Mathilde
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:29 AM on June 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

Never Let Me Go
posted by Namlit at 8:47 AM on June 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

One for Jimi, Mitch and Noel
posted by flabdablet at 9:09 AM on June 1, 2013

Parce que
posted by Namlit at 10:17 AM on June 1, 2013

Quintessence
posted by Namlit at 10:32 AM on June 1, 2013

Rubinstein in all his glory.
posted by Namlit at 10:37 AM on June 1, 2013

Serkin (Peter. Brahms 2nd concerto).
posted by Namlit at 10:39 AM on June 1, 2013

Top Of The Pops! (couldn't resist)
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:37 AM on June 1, 2013

Understandably, I could've used this classic Casey Kasem clip which goes along with my celebrity anecdote about him yelling at me on Live TV (PBS fundraiser, live auction, he's auctioneer, I'm on the phone with a bidder and I'm covering one ear so I can hear the caller/bidder clearly and I'm calling out what he tells me but I hardy hear Casey and the caller is two bids behind and so am I and Casey loses patience and yells "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN"... no, no bad language on PBS)
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:46 AM on June 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

Vespa
posted by Namlit at 12:24 PM on June 1, 2013

Wibi of the Carribean
posted by Namlit at 12:28 PM on June 1, 2013

X-tra grand vitesse
posted by Namlit at 12:57 PM on June 1, 2013

Yello
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:15 PM on June 1, 2013

Zat's Entertainment /shoehorn
posted by arcticseal at 2:57 PM on June 1, 2013

Are next round could be all things fitting the right letter because they're misspelled or otherwise the wrong word. (Or would that be too complicated/obscure/weird/much work for the few remaining participants? And, yes, that should be "OUR next round"; it's an example.)
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:05 PM on June 1, 2013

Beater Barker is ... uh ... Spider-Dog?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:06 PM on June 1, 2013

Cirby Crackle
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:15 PM on June 1, 2013

Doe! I stubbed my doe!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:21 PM on June 1, 2013

Ef this doesn't tickle your fancy (or fickle your tancy), we could always return to FREE FORM ALPHA.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:25 PM on June 1, 2013

Farmaceuticals may help the game seem easier.
posted by donnagirl at 5:31 PM on June 1, 2013

Gif is my favorite brand of peanut butter.
yeah, I went there
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:54 PM on June 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

Hulio Iglesias
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:55 PM on June 1, 2013

Injoying this?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:56 PM on June 1, 2013

Jenerally, no. It's too much thinking.
posted by donnagirl at 6:07 PM on June 1, 2013

Kant we all just get along?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:07 PM on June 1, 2013

Leavened let live.
posted by Kabanos at 6:11 PM on June 1, 2013

Light. Legardress of the rikery lacism...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:11 PM on June 1, 2013

Mighty might!
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:13 PM on June 1, 2013

Nowledge, a little IS a dangerous thing.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:14 PM on June 1, 2013

Oh oh oh, said Santa as he put his sleigh in reverse.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:17 PM on June 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

People? I meant to say "Sheeple"... alright let's drop the Letter Error Alpha Game, but first...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:19 PM on June 1, 2013

QICK ME
(sign pasted on my back)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:20 PM on June 1, 2013

Rongg, doing this we have been.
posted by pianissimo at 6:39 PM on June 1, 2013

Sew we're not doing it anymore?
posted by Kabanos at 6:43 PM on June 1, 2013

Thyme to think of something for next round then.
posted by Kabanos at 6:44 PM on June 1, 2013

UNCONCEIVABLE!
this word does not mean what you think it means
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:49 PM on June 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

Verry. Strawverry. Raspverry. Vlueverry.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:44 PM on June 1, 2013

Wascally Wabbit.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:45 PM on June 1, 2013

Xcept some people use X this way and think it's OK.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:46 PM on June 1, 2013

Y not?
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:46 PM on June 1, 2013

Zee what I did there? (Is this as offensive to the French as the R/L swapping is to East Asians?)
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:48 PM on June 1, 2013

All we need now is for someone to attempt to do the whole alphabet themselves. (Or did I miss that part?)
posted by carsonb at 8:12 PM on June 1, 2013

Because that's what this thread needs!
posted by carsonb at 8:12 PM on June 1, 2013

Cabaltastic!
posted by carsonb at 8:13 PM on June 1, 2013

Drinks. This thread needs drinks.
posted by carsonb at 8:13 PM on June 1, 2013

Everybody simmer down! I'm trying to give a toast here!
posted by carsonb at 8:14 PM on June 1, 2013

For me, at least, MetaFilter means so much.
posted by carsonb at 8:14 PM on June 1, 2013

Greatly has it affected my sentence structure.
posted by carsonb at 8:15 PM on June 1, 2013

Horribly it has ruined my Yoda impression.
posted by carsonb at 8:15 PM on June 1, 2013

Indeed, thanks to MetaFilter I don't even really like Star Wars much anymore.
posted by carsonb at 8:16 PM on June 1, 2013

JEERS WILL BE OVERRIDDEN FOR THE DURATION OF THE PERFORMANCE. I said simmer down!
posted by carsonb at 8:16 PM on June 1, 2013

Kids just don't know what it was like to grow up without the Internet, then to have it foisted upon them at the tenderest of their teenaged years.
posted by carsonb at 8:17 PM on June 1, 2013

Luckily, I stumbled upon...
posted by carsonb at 8:17 PM on June 1, 2013

METAFILTER
posted by carsonb at 8:18 PM on June 1, 2013

Not to mention MetaTalk!
posted by carsonb at 8:18 PM on June 1, 2013

Only I don't think it really occurred to me way back then just how much an online community could influence my physical community.
posted by carsonb at 8:19 PM on June 1, 2013

People I'd only ever known as usernames showed up to dinner one night and we ate actual food off the same plate.
posted by carsonb at 8:20 PM on June 1, 2013

Questioning the limits of this unexpectedly delightful crossover between Internet and Reality, I even dated a MeFite.
posted by carsonb at 8:21 PM on June 1, 2013

Rather a lot has happened between you and me, Metafilter.
posted by carsonb at 8:21 PM on June 1, 2013

So I'll just wrap this up by pausing a moment to shed a
posted by carsonb at 8:22 PM on June 1, 2013

tear (single)
posted by carsonb at 8:22 PM on June 1, 2013

Underneath this bitter and sarcastic persona, I'm a bigger and better person for being here, for having y'all around the past dozen years.
posted by carsonb at 8:23 PM on June 1, 2013

Validation, support, and trust, these things I've been lucky enough to receive thanks to this community.
posted by carsonb at 8:23 PM on June 1, 2013

Which is to say, THANKS
posted by carsonb at 8:25 PM on June 1, 2013

XO
posted by carsonb at 8:25 PM on June 1, 2013

You still holding that drink up?
posted by carsonb at 8:25 PM on June 1, 2013

ZAGOMBA, LET'S DRINK!

Cheers!
posted by carsonb at 8:26 PM on June 1, 2013 [1 favorite]

Applause for carsonb!
posted by pianissimo at 8:28 PM on June 1, 2013

Bravo!
posted by donnagirl at 9:04 PM on June 1, 2013

carsonb is da bomb
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:17 PM on June 1, 2013

da bomb is carsonb
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:17 PM on June 1, 2013

Eventually everyone will want to do this. Should we sign up for shifts?
posted by donnagirl at 9:18 PM on June 1, 2013

Fine, even though I have come close to a 'solo alphabet', but not REALLY intentionally, and twoleftfeet MAY have done it (or come close) during a dead night this week. (I'm not looking it up, let him brag - and link to it - the next time he shows up)
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:20 PM on June 1, 2013

Genuinely fucking awesome!
posted by h00py at 9:21 PM on June 1, 2013

Have
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:56 PM on June 1, 2013

I
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:56 PM on June 1, 2013

just
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:56 PM on June 1, 2013

killed
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:57 PM on June 1, 2013

lucky
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:57 PM on June 1, 2013

me?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:58 PM on June 1, 2013

Not
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:58 PM on June 1, 2013

original
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:58 PM on June 1, 2013

parts,
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:59 PM on June 1, 2013

quite
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:59 PM on June 1, 2013

redundant
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:00 PM on June 1, 2013

stuff
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:00 PM on June 1, 2013

to
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:00 PM on June 1, 2013

understand
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:01 PM on June 1, 2013

very
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:01 PM on June 1, 2013

well.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:02 PM on June 1, 2013

Xerox
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:03 PM on June 1, 2013

your
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:03 PM on June 1, 2013

zeros.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:03 PM on June 1, 2013

Ahm here now, taking advantage of dead of night elsewhere.
posted by Namlit at 11:46 PM on June 1, 2013

Better start writing, then. Reloading the thread takes hours.
posted by Namlit at 11:47 PM on June 1, 2013

Carsonb is a great example of what can be achieved here.
posted by Namlit at 11:48 PM on June 1, 2013

Durability and perseverance and all that. Well, maybe not durability. It may not mean what I think it means.
posted by Namlit at 11:49 PM on June 1, 2013

Effective letter placement and posting-frequency
posted by Namlit at 11:50 PM on June 1, 2013

Fabulous medium-term planning abilities,
posted by Namlit at 11:51 PM on June 1, 2013

Great keyboard skills,
posted by Namlit at 11:51 PM on June 1, 2013

Hands-down the best, simply.
posted by Namlit at 11:52 PM on June 1, 2013

Industrial, too. Maybe somewhat less interactive.
posted by Namlit at 11:52 PM on June 1, 2013

Just a tiny bit, maybe.
posted by Namlit at 11:53 PM on June 1, 2013

Key to interactivity is dialogue, right?
posted by Namlit at 11:54 PM on June 1, 2013

Letting this slide. It's Sunday, after all...
posted by Namlit at 11:54 PM on June 1, 2013

MetaFilter deserves this thread, by the way. If it isn't the best of the web, it will be the longest. But I think it's the best.
posted by Namlit at 11:55 PM on June 1, 2013

No other thread will be deemed better and longer, by me.
posted by Namlit at 11:56 PM on June 1, 2013

Or it would indeed have to be much better and longer.
posted by Namlit at 11:56 PM on June 1, 2013

Peer reviewed, maybe even...
posted by Namlit at 11:57 PM on June 1, 2013

Questioning the quality and sheer greatness of this thread would be a serious faux pas.
posted by Namlit at 11:58 PM on June 1, 2013

Right, there I already used the x. Luxury abounds.
posted by Namlit at 11:58 PM on June 1, 2013

See, if one has ALL the words, one also finds ways to start with an X.
posted by Namlit at 11:59 PM on June 1, 2013

Totally not a problem.
posted by Namlit at 12:00 AM on June 2, 2013

Users of artificially sweetened products will know this.
posted by Namlit at 12:01 AM on June 2, 2013

Very distressing insider fact.
posted by Namlit at 12:01 AM on June 2, 2013

Whenever you eat too much of these products...
posted by Namlit at 12:02 AM on June 2, 2013

Xylitol gives you the shits.
posted by Namlit at 12:02 AM on June 2, 2013

You asked for it, you got it.
posted by Namlit at 12:03 AM on June 2, 2013

Zealously fulfilled solo round. *Bows*
posted by Namlit at 12:04 AM on June 2, 2013

And a big hand for Namlit, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, freaks and geeks...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:04 AM on June 2, 2013

Because it's time for me to step up to the imaginary microphone and rap my guts out...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:05 AM on June 2, 2013

Considering I recently did 19 consecutive letters, using one word each (although the sentences formed did not necessarily make sense)...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:06 AM on June 2, 2013

Does anyone doubt that I can pull this off?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:07 AM on June 2, 2013

Excuse me, I appear to have just pulled something off I did not intend to pull off...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:08 AM on June 2, 2013

Fooped up again, you might say (although I'd prefer you didn't).
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:09 AM on June 2, 2013

Getting back on track again, although I suspect this is the same track that has a train scheduled to come down at about 12:17, Specific time.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:10 AM on June 2, 2013

Having figured out that there are no motivational analogies or metaphors that can not be turned into a bad joke....
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:11 AM on June 2, 2013

I set out to annoy those of discriminating tastes while entertaining those who do not practice discrimination.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:13 AM on June 2, 2013

Jokes, that's what they're called and that's what I got ... around here somewhere.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:14 AM on June 2, 2013

Keeping the humorous content of one's mental database well organized is both desirable and futile.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:15 AM on June 2, 2013

Law of Declining Value of Organization: No matter what kind of content you are trying to organize and what kind of space you have set aside for it, the better organized it is, the lessof it fits into the space allowed.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:17 AM on June 2, 2013

My goodness, you didn't expect to see some thoughtful thinkalizing like that in the ol' Aphabethread late on a Saturday Night/Sunday Morning, did ya?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:19 AM on June 2, 2013

Now I have to come up with something for the second half of the alphabet.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:19 AM on June 2, 2013

oneswellfoop knows: Failure is not an option. It comes standard.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:20 AM on June 2, 2013

People often underestimate me, but I am genuinely capable of holding several hundred more jelly beans than it appears at first look.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:21 AM on June 2, 2013

Quick! Brown fox! Jump over the lazy dogs!
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:22 AM on June 2, 2013

Redundancy is not just something I do well, it's something I do well. (And if you've been following closely, you'll know I made that joke before, making it even more... of what it's even more of)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:24 AM on June 2, 2013

Some people see the world as it is and ask "Why?" I see the world and chuckle under my breath, careful that it doesn't see me.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:25 AM on June 2, 2013

The Times they are a changin'. As are the Tribune, the Post, the Herald and the never-been-adequately-explained-named Plain Dealer.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:27 AM on June 2, 2013

Understandably nervous, since that train was supposed to pass through ten minutes ago, but I have been totally on the wrong track. At least I don't have a one track mine.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:28 AM on June 2, 2013

Very interesting timing for my internet connection to have a brainfart.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:30 AM on June 2, 2013

Well, it's better than some times when my Cable-Modem-slash-Router vomited all over my desk; shouldn't have gone with the Toaster-slash-Blender attachment.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:32 AM on June 2, 2013

Xenophobia is wrong - personally, I've never met a Xeno I didn't like. Xena especially, although Xenu I wouldn't trust very much.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:33 AM on June 2, 2013

Yes, he's near the end... what is he going to do for a big finish?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:34 AM on June 2, 2013

Zoinkies!!!
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:35 AM on June 2, 2013

Adventurous Aarvark. Am I going to have to re-enter this marathon to keep it going? Are you all abed on Sunday?
posted by adamvasco at 3:53 AM on June 2, 2013

Blustering Bullfrogs he bellowed belligerently.
posted by adamvasco at 5:07 AM on June 2, 2013

Coiled Cockatoo. I'm assuming by the long intervals that I'm not inturrupting a solo alphabet attempt by adamvasco.
posted by Kabanos at 6:48 AM on June 2, 2013

Dat Ass Dolphin is ready for dinner.
posted by Kabanos at 6:53 AM on June 2, 2013

Early elephants were some wild and crazy dudes.
posted by box at 7:09 AM on June 2, 2013

French-fried flamingo find.
posted by ook at 10:56 AM on June 2, 2013

Glorious Giraffes
posted by Namlit at 11:27 AM on June 2, 2013

Hello. Did your send me a box of dead hamster?
posted by Namlit at 11:30 AM on June 2, 2013

Insane Ibis.
posted by Namlit at 11:32 AM on June 2, 2013

Jumping jaguar!
posted by Night_owl at 12:05 PM on June 2, 2013

Kicking kangaroo!
posted by box at 12:33 PM on June 2, 2013

Lactating llama.
posted by donnagirl at 12:40 PM on June 2, 2013

Mast

icating marmot
posted by Namlit at 2:12 PM on June 2, 2013

Nagging Non-humans
posted by Namlit at 2:32 PM on June 2, 2013

Outlandish Ostriches
posted by Namlit at 2:35 PM on June 2, 2013

Patterned Pests
posted by Namlit at 2:45 PM on June 2, 2013

Quizzical Quagga
posted by Namlit at 2:46 PM on June 2, 2013

Rapacious Raven
posted by zamboni at 6:18 PM on June 2, 2013

So Small Sloth
posted by Kabanos at 7:44 PM on June 2, 2013

That Tarsier you have already watched a million times.
posted by Kabanos at 7:54 PM on June 2, 2013

Undulating Ungulates
posted by Kabanos at 7:58 PM on June 2, 2013

Virtuous Vultures
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:09 PM on June 2, 2013

Wondrous Wombats
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:11 PM on June 2, 2013

X-Animals (not like X-Men)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:17 PM on June 2, 2013

Yakety Yaks
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:02 PM on June 2, 2013

Zoom Zoom Zebra
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:32 PM on June 2, 2013

All you people! Have you abandoned the thread?
posted by Cranberry at 1:27 AM on June 3, 2013

Back because I was reminded it was here.
posted by Talkie Toaster at 2:11 AM on June 3, 2013

Caramba this takes forever to load.
posted by adamvasco at 2:17 AM on June 3, 2013

Details, details.
posted by Talkie Toaster at 2:18 AM on June 3, 2013

Enough with the the digital directions.
posted by adamvasco at 2:41 AM on June 3, 2013

Fingers or something discrete? Your "digital directions" elude detection.
posted by Talkie Toaster at 3:05 AM on June 3, 2013

Great galloping... no, no that was the last round.
posted by adamvasco at 4:13 AM on June 3, 2013

Here comes five thousand
posted by shothotbot at 5:35 AM on June 3, 2013

I love it when a plan comes together!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 5:37 AM on June 3, 2013

Jump, you fucker, jump
Jump into this blanket wot we are holding for you
And you will be alright.

So he jumped

Hit the deck

Broke his fucking neck

There was no blanket!
posted by flabdablet at 5:53 AM on June 3, 2013

KLAXON
posted by flabdablet at 5:54 AM on June 3, 2013

Laugh! We nearly shat!
We have not laughed so much since Grandma died
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle.

We are miserable sinners

Fiiiiiiilthy fuckers.

Aaaaaaaaaaaasoles!
posted by flabdablet at 5:56 AM on June 3, 2013

Maybe less tequila, flabdabelt?
posted by shothotbot at 5:57 AM on June 3, 2013

Nincompoop.
posted by adamvasco at 6:02 AM on June 3, 2013

Oldie but a goodie
posted by flabdablet at 6:06 AM on June 3, 2013

Points! 5004 points is what we've earned. Hoot.
posted by Namlit at 6:37 AM on June 3, 2013

Question: tell me what you think about this
posted by greenish at 6:39 AM on June 3, 2013

Really, I need to know if there's a theme? Is there a theme to this round? Do tell. I lost the plot a while ago because I couldn't figure out what the heck you all were doing.
posted by peagood at 6:49 AM on June 3, 2013

Seriously--let's just bulldoze
posted by box at 7:14 AM on June 3, 2013

Through these last few and
posted by box at 7:15 AM on June 3, 2013

Undertake to
posted by box at 7:16 AM on June 3, 2013

Volunteer
posted by box at 7:17 AM on June 3, 2013

Walrus
posted by box at 7:18 AM on June 3, 2013

X-ray
posted by box at 7:18 AM on June 3, 2013

Yeti
posted by box at 7:18 AM on June 3, 2013

Zymurgy
posted by box at 7:19 AM on June 3, 2013

Agenda, what's next on it?
posted by box at 7:20 AM on June 3, 2013

"Buhgenda", and other non-words that rhyme with agenda?
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:26 AM on June 3, 2013

Could we consider 'Buganda' as a non-non-word near-rhyming with Agenda?
posted by kaibutsu at 7:40 AM on June 3, 2013

'Duodenum' is a word, but it does not rhyme with agenda.
posted by box at 7:43 AM on June 3, 2013

El Jenga is the tallest hombre in the Mexico City Mafia, but he's bound for a fall.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:49 AM on June 3, 2013

Fandanga is the girlfriend of Padre Soler.
posted by Namlit at 7:53 AM on June 3, 2013

Gag-mendah is someone who repairs gags
posted by Namlit at 7:55 AM on June 3, 2013

Hacienda
posted by Namlit at 7:58 AM on June 3, 2013

Ileanda is a commune in Romania.
posted by Night_owl at 8:02 AM on June 3, 2013

Incandenza
posted by box at 8:02 AM on June 3, 2013

Jacaranda is a pretty flower.
posted by Night_owl at 8:07 AM on June 3, 2013

Kendo is a type of martial art.
posted by Night_owl at 8:09 AM on June 3, 2013

Legenda is part of the soviet missile system.
posted by Night_owl at 8:14 AM on June 3, 2013

Meta is a kind of filter
posted by shothotbot at 8:16 AM on June 3, 2013

Magenta is not a crayon.
posted by Night_owl at 8:17 AM on June 3, 2013

Ninda is a very exciting locality in Victora, Australia. Apparently Ninda Post Office opened on 2 November 1914 when the railway arrived and closed in 1958.
posted by Kabanos at 8:19 AM on June 3, 2013

"O'genda" is an Irish agenda.
posted by Kabanos at 8:59 AM on June 3, 2013

Penda, King of Mercia
posted by Kabanos at 9:03 AM on June 3, 2013

Quenda is another name for the Southern brown bandicoot of Australia. But you already knew that.
posted by Kabanos at 9:04 AM on June 3, 2013

Rawpanda is not cooked
posted by Namlit at 9:05 AM on June 3, 2013

Sa 'Gend-Ha, Master Swordbearer of G'nra Fic-shah 'n
posted by ook at 9:06 AM on June 3, 2013

Torrender. Subsiding under the impression of some Spanish wine.
posted by Namlit at 9:07 AM on June 3, 2013

Upend a table

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
posted by Kabanos at 9:08 AM on June 3, 2013

Vendemmia. Also wine related (and less silleh)
posted by Namlit at 9:10 AM on June 3, 2013

Wallenda. It's great, it flies.
posted by Kabanos at 9:12 AM on June 3, 2013

Xigenda. Misspelling of the nominative feminine singular of exigendus.
posted by Kabanos at 9:14 AM on June 3, 2013

Yagenda: not my genda
posted by ook at 9:18 AM on June 3, 2013

Zenda, Prisoner of.
posted by Kabanos at 9:26 AM on June 3, 2013

Alice in Wonderland or Alice in Chains?
posted by Kabanos at 9:29 AM on June 3, 2013

Beach Boys or Beach Blanket Bingo?
posted by shothotbot at 9:36 AM on June 3, 2013

Curried flavor or curried favor?
posted by Kabanos at 9:39 AM on June 3, 2013

Dollars or donuts?
posted by ook at 9:41 AM on June 3, 2013

ˈē-thər or ˈī-thər?
posted by Kabanos at 9:44 AM on June 3, 2013

Frak or Frell?
posted by greenish at 9:57 AM on June 3, 2013

Granta, or Grantland?
posted by box at 9:58 AM on June 3, 2013

Hatfield or Hikoi?
posted by Iridic at 10:07 AM on June 3, 2013

I or Eeyore?
posted by ook at 10:10 AM on June 3, 2013

Jazzy Jay, or Jazzy Jeff?
posted by box at 10:18 AM on June 3, 2013

King Slender, or King Hippo?
posted by box at 10:23 AM on June 3, 2013

Legolas or Legoland?
posted by Wordshore at 10:32 AM on June 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Master or Margarita?
posted by Iridic at 10:41 AM on June 3, 2013

Now or Never?
posted by Kabanos at 10:42 AM on June 3, 2013

Open Source or Olden (Norse)?
posted by Kabanos at 10:43 AM on June 3, 2013

Potluck, or potlatch?
posted by box at 10:51 AM on June 3, 2013

Qaid, qintar or qoph?
posted by box at 10:52 AM on June 3, 2013

Reblog or refinance?
posted by ook at 10:58 AM on June 3, 2013

Sword and Sorcery or Sword and Sandal?
posted by Iridic at 11:05 AM on June 3, 2013

Tea or coffee?
posted by ook at 11:10 AM on June 3, 2013

Uqbar or Utopia?
posted by ersatz at 11:51 AM on June 3, 2013

Vim or vigor?
posted by donnagirl at 12:04 PM on June 3, 2013

Whip it, or whip it good?
posted by Kabanos at 12:15 PM on June 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Xanthan gum, or a polysaccharide secreted by the bacterium Xanthomonas campestris?

Why not both?
posted by ook at 12:21 PM on June 3, 2013

Y'all or yinz?
posted by donnagirl at 12:23 PM on June 3, 2013

After careful consideration, I've decided I'll take the second one of each.
posted by ook at 1:10 PM on June 3, 2013

Best bet is to take the third in bubbles.
posted by Night_owl at 1:19 PM on June 3, 2013

Can I plead the fourth?
posted by Kabanos at 1:23 PM on June 3, 2013

Can you see what I did there? The first in connecting the dots can answer.
posted by Night_owl at 1:23 PM on June 3, 2013

Don't think I've ever seen a curried bubble, but now you've made me hungry.
posted by ook at 1:41 PM on June 3, 2013

Eh, molecular gastronomy--you taste one bubble suffused with essential oils derived from South Asian spices, you've tasted 'em all.
posted by box at 1:53 PM on June 3, 2013

For me, donuts.
posted by Namlit at 1:57 PM on June 3, 2013

Göran, on the other hand, wanted Dollars. Little did he know that he was about to lose them all.
posted by Namlit at 1:58 PM on June 3, 2013

Help; I need somebody.
posted by Wordshore at 2:14 PM on June 3, 2013

I am somebody. At least that what I've been told.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:15 PM on June 3, 2013

Just hold your horses while I get down off my high horse.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:16 PM on June 3, 2013

Keep your shirt on, you don't want to make this NSFW.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:17 PM on June 3, 2013

> LICK SOMEBODY

Well, sure, they have their shirt off after all.
posted by ook at 2:26 PM on June 3, 2013

Mmh. I see a whole pile of shirts back there. What's up?
posted by Namlit at 2:29 PM on June 3, 2013

NEW AND SLIGHTLY USED DISCARDED SHIRT EMPORIUM YOU BUY NOW
posted by ook at 2:35 PM on June 3, 2013

On top of it all, there are those who nibble at giant millipedes. Now there's an orgy to behold.
posted by Namlit at 2:38 PM on June 3, 2013

Possibly because it's only 1 star rated in Netflix, I have no interest in watching the Human Centipede 2.
posted by arcticseal at 3:50 PM on June 3, 2013

Quiet, angry little children can grow up to be serial killers, if you give them the correct early teaching experiences. Hand the young one a centipede and tell him to pull its legs off. It entertains the little sadists, and it keeps them busy for hours!
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:31 PM on June 3, 2013

Ritalin, added in small doses to your baby's milk bottle, can decrease that annoying tossing and turning at night.

Another tip from Parenting Weakly.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:38 PM on June 3, 2013

Sick
posted by double block and bleed at 4:39 PM on June 3, 2013

This thread could be made into a monster if we all pull together as a team.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:40 PM on June 3, 2013

Underwear is not something toddlers should wear. Especially not on the head. I got a lot of angry stares at the supermarket from other parents.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:41 PM on June 3, 2013

Violence is OK. Beat your kids at the supermarket. Everyone is silently demanding that you do it.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:43 PM on June 3, 2013

Weaning a screaming irrational poopy-pants from the bottle is not easy to do. That's why Grandpa gets to keep his whiskey.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:44 PM on June 3, 2013

Xylene should never go in a baby bottle.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:49 PM on June 3, 2013

You can also put crystal meth in the bottle. It's not like the baby has any teeth to lose!
posted by double block and bleed at 4:49 PM on June 3, 2013

Zolpidem will help baby sleep.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:50 PM on June 3, 2013

Anesthetic will definitely put a baby to sleep.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:52 PM on June 3, 2013

Baby's bottle has more chemicals than a meth lab.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:53 PM on June 3, 2013

Crying you do is why Daddy drinks
posted by double block and bleed at 4:55 PM on June 3, 2013

Daddy drinks because you cry (FTFM)
posted by double block and bleed at 4:56 PM on June 3, 2013

Every good boy does fuckups.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:59 PM on June 3, 2013

Fond memories of childhood very good. Memories of fondling children very bad.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:02 PM on June 3, 2013

Good memories of childhood can now be implanted. Ask your pediatrician.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:04 PM on June 3, 2013

Heart transplants available for people with broken ones.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:05 PM on June 3, 2013

I transplants for people with no sense of self.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:06 PM on June 3, 2013

Joint transplants are quite common and are known in the medical profession as "passing the joint".
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:15 PM on June 3, 2013

Kidney. I've got one to donate but they keep turning me away at Goodwill.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:16 PM on June 3, 2013

Long after I am gone,
I hope my organs will live on.
In healthy bodies all complete,
will still live on my two left feet.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:26 PM on June 3, 2013

My church donated an organ to a church of a different faith, but it was rejected.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:29 PM on June 3, 2013

Not allowing organ transplants is something Christian Scientists do. Is that who you gave your organ to?
posted by donnagirl at 5:32 PM on June 3, 2013

Organ donation is majestical, except when it involves a testicle.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:33 PM on June 3, 2013

Penis transplants are also not recommended for majesty's sake.
posted by donnagirl at 5:38 PM on June 3, 2013

Quite recently after the storm,
I gave a blanket, soft and warm,
to dismal souls who needed it,
not asking they repeated it.

Now that things have settled down,
and calm restored to that poor town,
now that there's an end to black,
I really want my blankie back.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:50 PM on June 3, 2013

Recently I gave a gift,
She did not want it and was miffed.
"This is not what I really want!"
"Well fuck you then, and you're a cunt!"

The conversation continued to worsen,
with both of us yellin' and screamin' and cursin'
And this we shared, the both of we,
A passionate Anniversary.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:10 PM on June 3, 2013

Sometimes I think what is the sense,
of gold and myrrh and frankincense?
For little babies, small and cold,
what use is myrrh and frankincense and gold?
When being held, in warmth and love,
puts all this under that above,
when all the baby wants is Her,
what use is gold and frankincense and myrrh?
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:18 PM on June 3, 2013

There once was a limerick from Nantucket
Who wondered why all limericks seem to be set on islands off the eastern seaboard
And what's with all these horny farm girls in the first place
I mean not that I'm complaining, thought the limerick, but
Doesn't the sestina turn anyone on
Or even haiku
I mean who doesn't like an afternoon quickie
so delicious so sweet and etcetera
in any season
posted by ook at 6:59 PM on June 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Gosh, did I make it onto the thread in time?
posted by sammyo at 7:08 PM on June 3, 2013

Undoubtedly, no.
posted by donnagirl at 7:10 PM on June 3, 2013

Very early.
posted by box at 7:32 PM on June 3, 2013

Where did twoleftfeet go?
Ask not where the wind blows
posted by double block and bleed at 7:40 PM on June 3, 2013

Xenogamy is how bees keep us alive.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:44 PM on June 3, 2013

"zygoma consists of a malar bone connected behind with the squamosal bone, usually by a zygomatic process of the latter, and abutting in front against a protuberance of the superior maxillary bone, or of the frontal or the lacrymal bone, or any of these."
posted by double block and bleed at 7:47 PM on June 3, 2013

A is for Apple, J is for Jacks . . .
posted by jeremias at 7:48 PM on June 3, 2013

В огороде бузина, а в Киеве дядька
posted by double block and bleed at 7:58 PM on June 3, 2013

СССР больше нет
posted by double block and bleed at 8:00 PM on June 3, 2013

Don't know the Cyrillic equivalent of "D"
posted by double block and bleed at 8:01 PM on June 3, 2013

Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah!
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:41 PM on June 3, 2013

Fools! You forgot Y back there. Now you'll have to start all over again.
posted by dg at 9:04 PM on June 3, 2013

Y?
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:12 PM on June 3, 2013

Greatly interesting that we keep skipping Y. Someone is going to have to do some data analysis on this thread once it is over. Of course now I've tainted the sample.
posted by ook at 9:38 PM on June 3, 2013

Gloria Jones - Tainted Love (1964)

ook - Tainted Sample (2013)
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:42 PM on June 3, 2013

Heck
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:31 PM on June 3, 2013

Irony
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:33 PM on June 3, 2013

Jocularity
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:30 AM on June 4, 2013

Kinetic awareness
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:56 AM on June 4, 2013

Lung cancer awareness
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:58 AM on June 4, 2013

Listlessness
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:59 AM on June 4, 2013

Mind-body awareness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:00 AM on June 4, 2013

Not a list of awareness ribbons
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:01 AM on June 4, 2013

Organic awareness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:03 AM on June 4, 2013

Phonological awareness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:05 AM on June 4, 2013

Quality awareness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:07 AM on June 4, 2013

R awareness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:11 AM on June 4, 2013

Squareness
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:13 AM on June 4, 2013

Top-of-mind awareness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:14 AM on June 4, 2013

Underwearness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:16 AM on June 4, 2013

Van Ness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:24 AM on June 4, 2013

Witness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:26 AM on June 4, 2013

Wash and Wearness
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:26 AM on June 4, 2013

Youthfulness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:33 AM on June 4, 2013

Yess
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:35 AM on June 4, 2013

X... well, at least we didn't skip Y this time.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:35 AM on June 4, 2013

Zaniness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:38 AM on June 4, 2013

Arbitrariness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:39 AM on June 4, 2013

Business
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:42 AM on June 4, 2013

Context awareness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:43 AM on June 4, 2013

Dennis the Menace-ness.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:47 AM on June 4, 2013

Eliot Ness
(now can we change the theme?)
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:47 AM on June 4, 2013

Eliot Ness
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:48 AM on June 4, 2013

Finesse
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:49 AM on June 4, 2013

Got to change the theme before we get to Loch Ness, because we are afraid of monsters.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:51 AM on June 4, 2013

Hot Mess
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:54 AM on June 4, 2013

I Confess
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:55 AM on June 4, 2013

Jessamyn
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:56 AM on June 4, 2013

Kiss and tell or kiss and cuss.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:57 AM on June 4, 2013

Less is more, more or less
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:59 AM on June 4, 2013

Mess. That's another fine one you've gotten me into.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:00 AM on June 4, 2013

Nothingness.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:02 AM on June 4, 2013

Oh, I guess...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:11 AM on June 4, 2013

Persimmon Muffins

Ingredients

2 to 3 very ripe persimmons (or 1 cup smooth applesauce plus 1/4 cup carrot baby food)
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup whole-wheat flour
1 cup granulated sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon ground ginger
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
2 large eggs plus 1 egg white
10 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, or vegetable oil
2/3 cup plain yogurt or sour cream
Turbinado sugar, for topping

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line a 12-cup muffin pan or two 24-cup mini-muffin pans with paper liners. Cut the persimmons in half and scoop out the pulp into a food processor; pulse until smooth.

Combine the all-purpose flour, whole-wheat flour, granulated sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon and lemon zest in a large bowl. Whisk 1 1/4 cups of the persimmon puree (or the applesauce and carrot baby food), the eggs, egg white, melted butter and yogurt in a small bowl. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and stir until just combined (it's fine if the batter is lumpy).

Divide the batter among the muffin cups, filling each three-quarters of the way. Sprinkle with turbinado sugar and bake until a toothpick comes out clean, 20 to 24 minutes for regular muffins or 14 to 18 minutes for mini muffins. Cool slightly in the pan, then transfer the muffins to a rack.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:14 AM on June 4, 2013

Quiche (Spinach and Bacon)

Recipe courtesy Paula Deen

Ingredients

6 large eggs, beaten
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
Salt and pepper
2 cups chopped fresh baby spinach, packed
1 pound bacon, cooked and crumbled
1 1/2 cups shredded Swiss cheese
1 (9-inch) refrigerated pie crust, fitted to a 9-inch glass pie plate

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Combine the eggs, cream, salt, and pepper in a food processor or blender. Layer the spinach, bacon, and cheese in the bottom of the pie crust, then pour the egg mixture on top. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes until the egg mixture is set. Cut into 8 wedges.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:20 AM on June 4, 2013

Rye Bread

Ingredients:

1 1/4 cups warm water
1 tablespoon oil
1 tablespoon honey
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
pinch of citric acid or 2 tablespoons orange juice, optional
2 tablespoons caraway seeds
2 teaspoons granulated lecithin*, optional
1.5 to 2.5 cups rye flour**
1/2 to 1.5 cups wheat flour (bread flour or all-purpose flour)** (about 3 cups total of wheat + rye flour)
2-6 tablespoons vital wheat gluten/gluten flour**, optional
1 tablespoon instant active dry yeast

Instructions:

1. If using a bread machine, add ingredients in order listed and begin the dough cycle. When dough cycle is complete, go to step 2.
If mixing dough by hand, combine first 9 ingredients in a large mixing bowl and stir.
Decide on the flour ratio you wish to use and add the rye flour, gluten flour, yeast, and part of the wheat flour.
Stir until mixture is thick; start kneading and add enough of the remaining all-purpose flour to make a smooth dough. Knead for 10-15 minutes, until dough is elastic.
Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size (about an hour). I usually turn the oven on warm for a minute or two, turn it off, and set the dough in there to rise.
2.Grease a baking pan: you can use a regular loaf pan, a round pan (8-9" diameter), or a baking sheet. Gently deflate dough. Form dough to fit your pan: make a loaf for a loaf pan, a round "patty" for a round cake pan, or a longer "log" for a baking sheet.
3. Gently grease the top of the loaf of dough, cover, and let rise in a warm place until almost doubled in size, about 30-45 minutes.
4. Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees. Bake loaf for 30 minutes. (Slightly longer for a round loaf; slightly less for a longer thinner loaf.) If loaf is browning too quickly, cover loosely with foil after about 20-25 minutes of baking.
5. Remove hot loaf from pan and cover with a clean towel until cool. Slice and enjoy!

http://tammysrecipes.com/rye_bread
posted by double block and bleed at 4:25 AM on June 4, 2013

SOUR CHERRY PIE

Ingredients

3 pints pitted sour cherries, halved
1 cup (or more if you'd like it sweeter) granulated sugar, plus more for the top
4 to 5 tablespoons cornstarch (use 5 if you like a thicker filling)
One recipe Easy Pie Dough, one half shaped and chilled in a pie plate, the other rolled out flat and chilled on a floured sheet pan

Procedures

1 Preheat the oven to 425° Fahrenheit. In a bowl, mix sour cherries, sugar, and cornstarch. Toss together and allow it to sit for 5 minutes.

2 Stir the cherry mixture until the cornstarch is completely hydrated and there are no lumps of starch. Allow the mixture to sit 5 minutes more.

3 Pour the cherry mixture into the shaped, chilled bottom crust. Use the rolled-out, chilled dough to design your top crust: (here are a few top-crust ideas.) Chill the shaped pie for 20 minutes.

4 Brush the top crust with egg wash and sprinkle with granulated sugar. Bake at 425° for 15 minutes, rotating halfway through, then lower the oven temperature to 350° and continue to bake for approximately 30 minutes, rotating again halfway through. Bake until the crust is golden brown and filling is bubbling though the entire pie. Allow to cool for at least one hour before serving.

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/08/sour-cherry-pie-recipe.html
posted by double block and bleed at 4:30 AM on June 4, 2013

Turbinado sugar: I've always thought that it ought to be a much faster sugar than the regular kind
posted by ook at 6:49 AM on June 4, 2013

Unrefined sugar, of course, is for the hoi polloi, with their coarse palates and resistance to allergens
posted by ook at 6:53 AM on June 4, 2013

Very fine sugar is the finest of all types of granulated sugar. In England it is known as caster or castor sugar, because the english are confusing.
posted by ook at 7:02 AM on June 4, 2013

Watermelon sugar is a special type of sugar meant to be consumed only while fishing for trout within the borders of the United States.
posted by ook at 7:06 AM on June 4, 2013

Xylitol sugar alcohol / polyol, despite its name, is strictly speaking not a sugar at all, nor can it get you drunk! The whole thing was just an ambitious marketing scheme gone awry and now we're stuck with it forever.
posted by ook at 7:08 AM on June 4, 2013

Yellow sugar should under no circumstances be consumed in the presence of huskies or other large mammals. As you yourself are, in all likelihood, a large mammal (relatively speaking of course) you will never learn the true delights that yellow sugar may bring.
posted by ook at 7:11 AM on June 4, 2013

Zolplasmitamete-D is not a sugar or a sugar substitute. The Sugar Association has an informative list of "the other twenty-six sweeteners", in case you are in a collect-'em-all kind of mood, but Zolplasmitamete-D is not included in the list (as it is neither a sugar nor a sugar substitute.) This is interesting because there is, as it turns out, a Sugar Association. It is abbreviated SAI but the I is silent. Associate membership is available to any persons, firms, partnerships, association or corporations, whether scientific based or corporate, of any size. Associate or International member status allows organizations to participate in limited programmatic areas, increases your organization's access to sugar industry decision makers, makes you privy to a wealth of industry updates occurring periodically throughout the membership year through a variety of mediums -- it is not stated whether those media include messages spelled out in cobwebby letters of spun sugar, imprinted on blocks of taffy, or simply encoded in a pure sweetener-flavor-based language devised by an International member of the Sugar Association in days gone by, but surely if not this is a missed opportunity that will be rectified by the Sugar Association as soon as is feasible. Perhaps if we all pitched in we could acquire an International Membership (I gather from the range of time zones covered within this thread that that, rather than the somewhat less expensive Associate Membership option, would be the appropriate choice) and begin a sustained lobbying effort within the Sugar Association to convince the sugar industry decision makers to include Zolplasmitamete-D in its list of the other twenty-seven sweeteners.
posted by ook at 7:26 AM on June 4, 2013

Anyway, Goran was horribly uncomfortable due to a groinal itch which was probably a fungus of some kind, what with him forging streams and pillaging and living in a somewhat moist environment. The triple rainbow glowed above. Fermented fish was out of the question.
posted by h00py at 8:28 AM on June 4, 2013

BOOYAKA!
posted by Kabanos at 8:37 AM on June 4, 2013

Couldn't have an alphabethread without a booyaka.
posted by Kabanos at 8:38 AM on June 4, 2013

Don't know if Goran heard the BOOYAKA over the very loud sweater he was wearing.
posted by Kabanos at 8:40 AM on June 4, 2013

Evidently, the combination of a can of Swedish fermented fish, Göran and BOOYAKA will inevitably mean that someone will be covered in stinking squirts of fermented fish juice.
posted by Namlit at 8:42 AM on June 4, 2013

FUMPH. The can half-exploded, speckling the awestricken onlookers in a radius of ten meters with half-dissolved fish debris, and soaking Göran, who was still holding the hammer in one, and the nail in the other hand, with a dense shower of musty essence-de-surströmming.
posted by Namlit at 8:46 AM on June 4, 2013

Göran fainted.
posted by Namlit at 8:47 AM on June 4, 2013

Harsh laughter could be heard through the closed Garage door, where his evil cousin had retreated; the same cousin who earlier had told Göran how to open the can: *outdoors *wearing nothing but shorts and *using a hammer and a nail.
posted by Namlit at 8:49 AM on June 4, 2013

Incidentally, that's what they tell foreigners here. It's a joke (of sorts).
posted by Namlit at 8:50 AM on June 4, 2013

Just as everyone started pondering that, an incredibly unexpected thing happened!
posted by h00py at 9:01 AM on June 4, 2013

KABLOOIE! Hamster Huey jumped out of the remains of the can.
posted by Namlit at 9:03 AM on June 4, 2013

Large animals rampaged throughout the land! An enormous fireworks display spontaneously erupted! Small children laughed instead of cried and bosses gave everyone bonuses. Vera smiled.
posted by h00py at 9:08 AM on June 4, 2013

Mmmmm, the sight of her was soothing like ointment on injured skin."'Ello, Vera!" Göran called out.
posted by Kabanos at 9:12 AM on June 4, 2013

Nigh-invulnerable sentient cloud creatures such as Vera are not known for their skill at banter, flirtation, or sensual repartee. So she just floated over and engulfed Goran in her substance. As you do.
posted by ook at 9:58 AM on June 4, 2013

"Oh, I don't know about that," said Göran, and wrestled himself free again. Also, Vera belatedly, but with great effect, reacted to the whiff of rotten herring that surrounded him. She may not be the most sensual of things, but hey, we're actually talking about surstömming here.
She spat him out again with panache, right into the midst of laughing kids and turned-insane bosses. The fireworks stopped working. Göran held his hurting foot with one hand and his nose with the other. "Does anyone here have an after-dinner mint?" He asked.
posted by Namlit at 10:17 AM on June 4, 2013

Pause for commercial break:
posted by Kabanos at 10:38 AM on June 4, 2013

Quest for a better car.
posted by Namlit at 10:48 AM on June 4, 2013

Red Rosé.
posted by Namlit at 10:51 AM on June 4, 2013

Silocanthrex B is not for everyone. May cause nausea, trembling, fear, and loathing. Ask your doctor if Silocanthrex B is right for you.
posted by ook at 11:02 AM on June 4, 2013

Taco Doritos may have had a similar effect.
posted by Namlit at 11:07 AM on June 4, 2013

Underpants! We have underpants! You buy now!
posted by ook at 11:35 AM on June 4, 2013

VaseRub. From the makers of Vaseline and VapoRub.
posted by Kabanos at 11:44 AM on June 4, 2013

Wisecrank. Helps you lift your retaliation skills.
posted by Namlit at 11:47 AM on June 4, 2013

Another day - another pile of food.
posted by Namlit at 11:48 AM on June 4, 2013

But there have always been twenty-three letters in the alphabet, Winston.
posted by ook at 11:53 AM on June 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Xylophone!
Youngberry!!
Zombie!!!

Sorry I'm late. Got stopped at the border. Something about bringing fresh fruit across. Also Zombie didn't look like his photo ID anymore.
posted by Kabanos at 12:33 PM on June 4, 2013

Can't believe there wasn't a commercial with a tie-in to Göran's after dinner mint.
posted by Kabanos at 2:24 PM on June 4, 2013

Don't stop, don't stop, no
Just keep on going
posted by Kabanos at 2:38 PM on June 4, 2013

Elbe River flooding is crazy.
posted by Kabanos at 2:56 PM on June 4, 2013

Frightening!
(And, just to wrap up stuff, yeah, there was no Göranian after dinner mint commercial available. And I got impatient with xyz, sorry 'bout that; thanks for helping)
posted by Namlit at 3:06 PM on June 4, 2013

Göran never believed bow ties and fezes were cool.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:21 PM on June 4, 2013

Hadn't even a single fez at home. And only rainbows and, at the time, no ties to anyone.
posted by Namlit at 3:24 PM on June 4, 2013

Incidentally, Göran doesn't seem to have made the podcast. We need to work harder.
posted by Namlit at 3:25 PM on June 4, 2013

Justice for Göran! No more will he be ignored!
posted by arcticseal at 3:28 PM on June 4, 2013

Knowledge needs to be free! The Alphabethread needs to be viral!
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:29 PM on June 4, 2013

Like an Internet Cat viral, not like a new influenza strain viral.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:30 PM on June 4, 2013

More Göran! Less gore!
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:34 PM on June 4, 2013

Now, the mints started to rain down. The explanation is that it was Thursday, and so Göran's wish was heard. That's how things sometimes are. They didn't help to dissipate the Surströmming stench, though.
posted by Namlit at 3:35 PM on June 4, 2013

No, I don't mean Former Vice President Albert Gore Jr. gore, I mean blood-and-guts-especially-guts gore.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:35 PM on June 4, 2013

O's seem naked without umlauts. Would he have won the 2000 election if he were Al Göre?
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:36 PM on June 4, 2013

Patiently waiting for his after-dinner mint, Göran considers checking into the hotel, just to get the mint on the pillow (and free wifi).
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:38 PM on June 4, 2013

Querying the hotel Concierge, he receives a gruff response: "If you can be Göran, the least you could do is address me as Conciérge!"
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:42 PM on June 4, 2013

Really nice animated GIFs, no matter how you pronounce them.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:44 PM on June 4, 2013

Some of the mini-stories in those GIFs appear to be things that happened to Göran (pronounced with a hard G, right?) but not repeating over and over.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:45 PM on June 4, 2013

Tis true that Al Göre graduated from Harvard summa um laute.
posted by Kabanos at 4:05 PM on June 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Unconvenient truth, it is.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:15 PM on June 4, 2013

Very.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:05 PM on June 4, 2013

Velicopediraptor.
posted by Kabanos at 5:05 PM on June 4, 2013

While the bow tie and fez will officially be declared Non-Current by Christmas, the 12-foot knitted striped scarf will NEVER go out of style.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:07 PM on June 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

X-Men, X-Files, X-Factor... all media properties controlled by what-is-now-called 21st Century Fox. Xonspiracy? or Xoincidence?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:09 PM on June 4, 2013

Yes Men, not X-Men.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:11 PM on June 4, 2013

'zit worth starting to watch Dr. Who again? I dropped off somewhere around the start of the 6th doctor.
posted by Kabanos at 5:12 PM on June 4, 2013

AND - we hit the friggin Y this time people!
posted by Kabanos at 5:12 PM on June 4, 2013

Baker was 6th, right?
posted by Area Man at 5:14 PM on June 4, 2013

Colin.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:23 PM on June 4, 2013

David Tennant tenth
posted by jeremias at 5:27 PM on June 4, 2013

Ejiofor, Chiwetel is subject of serious rumors right now, mostly rumors monged by Wil Wheaton. Shut up Wesley and don't be a Richard.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:28 PM on June 4, 2013

Fine, no more Doctor Who references... let's move on to...
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:10 PM on June 4, 2013

GAME OF THRONES!
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:10 PM on June 4, 2013

Hell, yeah, I want spoilers, because you know all the likeable characters are going to get killed off, the only thing we don't know yet is exactly WHEN. And...uh....
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:12 PM on June 4, 2013

I seem to have been run through with a rather large sword... DAMMIT, I SAID LESS GORE. Gurgle. Thud.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:14 PM on June 4, 2013

Just read an interview in which GRRM said the end of the series will be bittersweet. Sweetness of any degree or kind will be surprising.
posted by Area Man at 7:31 PM on June 4, 2013

Sweetness of any degree or kind will be surprising.

Maybe he'll let at least one character that someone liked that one time stay alive?
posted by jetlagaddict at 7:38 PM on June 4, 2013

Keep with the alphabet! Don't let the GoT gossip throw you.
posted by Area Man at 7:48 PM on June 4, 2013

Let jetlagaddict have a break, because... well... jetlagaddict!
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:42 PM on June 4, 2013

Michael Jordan
posted by Golden Eternity at 10:34 PM on June 4, 2013

Now there's something. Michael Jordan.

He was incredible.

Once in while this happens. You see somebody doing something so well that you are inspired to do something well. It doesn't matter what you're doing. If you see somebody doing their thing so well, so many levels beyond what other people do when they do that thing, then that has to be inspiring.

I want to do everything well. I want to wake up in the morning the best way I can wake up. I want to make my morning coffee with the most flavor and the most kick I can get out of a cup of coffee. I want to get to work in the best possible way, dodging all that other morning traffic.

I want to raise my kids to be the best kids ever. These kids are going to be huge successes, and they'll take care of me in my old age.

I want to succeed, in every possible way, at being alive.

And Michael Jordan, at his prime, showed me that this was possible. At least for basketball.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:16 AM on June 5, 2013

OK. Let's move the ball forward and oh so sweet.

Before we begin. Let me explain very clearly that we're going to play "mental basketball." The root word for ball is the same root as in French for "boule", which means "ball". But also "sphere", or topologically almost anything representing an object.

We're going to spin the ball, and pass it back and forth.

Are your ready? Here we go!
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:27 AM on June 5, 2013

Passing can be tricky.

The idea is that you pass a difficult thought off to someone else, and they play with your thought and give it back to you in an equally difficult way.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:30 AM on June 5, 2013

Quiet the sport, basketball.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:38 AM on June 5, 2013

Rebounds are important, but extreme dribbling skill will get you to the basket.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:39 AM on June 5, 2013

Super Globetrotters
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:40 AM on June 5, 2013

That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a level of skill where you are in complete control of your environment, at least when it comes to basketball.

There is video evidence that this is possible. Magical shamans are able to spin balls on their fingers.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:44 AM on June 5, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, the Harlem Globetrotters are not a real basketball team.

But if that's true, how do you explain this??
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:47 AM on June 5, 2013

Quake is one of my favorite Harlem Globetrotters. I've know him since he was a tremor.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:09 AM on June 5, 2013

Rebounding has few tricks. Basically you just get in there and grab the ball.

It's all up to the point-guards and the forwards to grab the glory. Unless you're Dennis Rodman in North Korea.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:12 AM on June 5, 2013

So... my metaphor - Commenting in Metatalk is Playing Hoops with Ideas - hasn't caught on.

I can see why the metaphor failed. Most of you probably don't have my experience; a shy young person from a small town goes to the big city with only a dream, and some weapons. Most of you probably have your ideas delivered every morning. It's easy for you. But I had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to get a new idea. And by then, it wasn't all that new.

Sorry.

My metaphor. I think that that extreme athletic performances should inspire the possibility of extreme mental performances.

There are a few more basketball tricks we haven't tried here yet.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:27 AM on June 5, 2013

Twisting twice before dunking is a technique that I've noticed in many of these online forums.

Properly executed, you hold a strong opinion, then its opposite, then back to the same first opinion. Your opponent doesn't see it coming, and you are able to dunk your opinion over his head.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:31 AM on June 5, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, the ball was in your court, but it got swatted back and forth.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:33 AM on June 5, 2013

Very few of us will ever become legends. And still fewer of us will do it by becoming Harlem Globetrotters.

But pass that ball. Shoot that shot. Behind the back. Under the knee.

It's all in the game. And oh so sweet!
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:41 AM on June 5, 2013

Washington Generals, the exhibition basketball team organized specifically to play- and lose to- the Harlem Globetrotters.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:46 AM on June 5, 2013

X-cept once.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:46 AM on June 5, 2013

Yes, I once met one of the Los Angeles Lakers. The Lakers team that won 33 games in a row in '71-'72. But it wasn't Wilt Chamberlain, Jerry West, Elgin Baylor or even Gail Goodrich. It was the unsung fifth man of the starting lineup, who probably would've been a star player on most other NBA teams of the time... Harold "Happy" Hairston
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:53 AM on June 5, 2013

'Zo Mourning was also a basketball player.
posted by box at 5:55 AM on June 5, 2013

Alex English, too.
posted by box at 5:57 AM on June 5, 2013

Benoit Benjamin.
posted by box at 5:58 AM on June 5, 2013

Cedric Ceballos.
posted by box at 5:58 AM on June 5, 2013

Darryl Dawkins.
posted by box at 6:01 AM on June 5, 2013

Richard Dawkins.
posted by box at 6:09 AM on June 5, 2013

Eric van Beethoven was a well-composed soccer star [since this is, apparently, free-form now]
posted by Namlit at 6:36 AM on June 5, 2013

Richard Dawkins.

Flagged as a derail.
posted by DaDaDaDave at 7:23 AM on June 5, 2013

Going to guess that it was Richard Dawkins as metaphor for Evolution.
posted by Kabanos at 7:44 AM on June 5, 2013

Heironymous today, Gauguin tomorrow?
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:50 AM on June 5, 2013

Indiana Jones or Robert Indiana?
posted by adamvasco at 9:25 AM on June 5, 2013

Just how heilarious is Hei Ronymous(e)...
posted by Namlit at 9:53 AM on June 5, 2013

Kanz Frafka (inventor of the insect. You know, when you look at them, that they must have been invented by someone, right? Evolution my leg. )
posted by Namlit at 9:55 AM on June 5, 2013

Lancelot today thanks a lot tomorrow
posted by Namlit at 9:56 AM on June 5, 2013

My stars and gartersnakes, what's happening here?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:44 AM on June 5, 2013

Nothing much, apparently.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:45 AM on June 5, 2013

OK, let's revitalize this thread with some calisthenics! (I can't believe I spelled that right on the first try.)
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:46 AM on June 5, 2013

Push-ups, perhaps?
posted by Iridic at 11:47 AM on June 5, 2013

Push ups, everybody, ten times!
Not just now and then!
Give that chicken fat back to the chickens and
Don't be chicken again!
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:47 AM on June 5, 2013

Quads! Blast 'em if you got 'em!
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:48 AM on June 5, 2013

Reload this page, two, three, four...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:48 AM on June 5, 2013

Sit ups!
Sit downs!
Sit my dad says!
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:50 AM on June 5, 2013

Terfect piming. The grill's hot. Grill ups!
posted by Namlit at 12:02 PM on June 5, 2013

Up!
Down!
Left!
Right!
Forward!
Backward!
oh, you backed into something, didn't you?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:04 PM on June 5, 2013

very tiring this is
posted by ook at 12:05 PM on June 5, 2013

What about the 8-count push-up?
posted by Night_owl at 12:06 PM on June 5, 2013

X-treme training brings x-treme paining!!
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:08 PM on June 5, 2013

Yes, it's time for a break... cool-down time... just hold this air conditioner in front of your face for 5 minutes...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:10 PM on June 5, 2013

Zack LaLanne, everybody
(because we are NOT continuing the exercise topic until we get around to J)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:11 PM on June 5, 2013

...and that's a wrap.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:16 PM on June 5, 2013

Buckle Up, America!
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:20 PM on June 5, 2013

Cop Out?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:22 PM on June 5, 2013

Dr. Heimlich
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:27 PM on June 5, 2013

Everything in Kupperman's tumblr is insanely fun!
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:28 PM on June 5, 2013

Foreplay Robot
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:30 PM on June 5, 2013

Granpa, Cousin Granpa
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:32 PM on June 5, 2013

Household Odors
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:34 PM on June 5, 2013

I could've done Holmes and Watson for H...
(top that, Benedictarnold Cucumberbunch)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:35 PM on June 5, 2013

Just learned that Craig is one of the "150 most popular names in the UK" that Coca-Cola is putting on personalized bottles. Meanwhile, Craig has dropped to about #800 in popularity in the USA. That's it, I'm moving. (Just as soon as I finish this 2-liter bottle)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:42 PM on June 5, 2013

Kupperman made my day.
posted by Namlit at 12:58 PM on June 5, 2013

Least part of it.
posted by Namlit at 12:58 PM on June 5, 2013

Must have been karma-ing about in some no good way:
posted by Namlit at 12:59 PM on June 5, 2013

Not only was the guacamole full of brown strands and hard bits, the grilled eggplant tasted (and looked) like mahogany, and the steak, too was held together by brown strands. You go, you grill, and what do you get? A genuine wtf experience.
posted by Namlit at 1:01 PM on June 5, 2013

Other news: know Bach's forgotten son WTF Bach? Nothing even remotely like PDQ, I promise.
posted by Namlit at 1:02 PM on June 5, 2013

PDQ Bach is my favorite composer. On my 'semi-free-form' college radio station in the 1970s, which dedicates a four-hour evening block, Monday-Friday, to classical music, when I got a two-hour show on Sunday Night to do 'something like Dr. Demento', the first thing I did was a faux-classical show of all PDQ Bach. I never regained the Program Director's trust.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:17 PM on June 5, 2013

QDP Bach was PDQ's dyslexic brother.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:18 PM on June 5, 2013

Question: what does the Q stand for? Quentin? Quasselfritze?
posted by Namlit at 1:19 PM on June 5, 2013

Rach III on the other hand was King of the Ivories.
posted by Namlit at 1:20 PM on June 5, 2013

Shostakovitch, amirite?
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:29 PM on June 5, 2013

The Many Hats of Shostakovich
posted by Kabanos at 1:35 PM on June 5, 2013

Upper Canada Lager is now my official cheap beer of the summer. Sorry fancy craft beers, I'm on a budget this year.
posted by Kabanos at 1:43 PM on June 5, 2013

Very Nice
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:05 PM on June 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

What the heck were you thinking grilling guacamole? Didn't it all just fall through the slots?
posted by ook at 4:29 PM on June 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

Where Is Everybody?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:35 PM on June 5, 2013

Xyst claims to mean "a covered garden walk" but is clearly just a way for scrabble players to dump a few difficult letters. Also if you say it enough times it starts to sound filthy. But that is true of most words.
posted by ook at 5:24 PM on June 5, 2013

"Yawp," for example.
posted by ook at 5:24 PM on June 5, 2013

"Zyzzyva" and "zymurgy" are two other bullshit words created for the sole purpose of utilizing the underutilized letters. Someday, after the singularity happens and I have infinite time, I plan to compile a dictionary which will be entitled "Bullshit Words Created For The Sole Purpose Of Utilizing The Underutilized Letters". But not before then. Because clearly I have better things to do with my precious finite time.

Clearly.
posted by ook at 5:28 PM on June 5, 2013

Aphorism time! I need some useless aphorisms. Make them now.
posted by ook at 5:28 PM on June 5, 2013

Behind every successful man there stands a surprised woman.
posted by Rumple at 5:33 PM on June 5, 2013

Can't spell 'success' without two C's.
posted by box at 5:35 PM on June 5, 2013

Dolby and Aldrin!!!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:47 PM on June 5, 2013

Don't walk straight on a crooked bridge.
posted by donnagirl at 5:47 PM on June 5, 2013

Everyone... Neil Before Buzz!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:48 PM on June 5, 2013

For every storm there's a storm drain.
posted by donnagirl at 5:50 PM on June 5, 2013

Greatness is rarely shot from a cannon.
posted by donnagirl at 5:52 PM on June 5, 2013

Half-assed aphorisms still speak to half the asses.
posted by donnagirl at 5:55 PM on June 5, 2013

In space, no one can hear you cream.
posted by Rumple at 6:02 PM on June 5, 2013

Just because you've got Cotard's syndrome doesn't mean you're not dead.
posted by DaDaDaDave at 6:07 PM on June 5, 2013

Just stew it.
posted by donnagirl at 6:07 PM on June 5, 2013

King for a day, Kong for a lifetime.
posted by DaDaDaDave at 6:15 PM on June 5, 2013

Loose chips hog dips.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:22 PM on June 5, 2013

Many bands make night clerks.
posted by donnagirl at 7:24 PM on June 5, 2013

Only the good dye Jung.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:22 PM on June 5, 2013

Pleasure twice, gut once.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:31 PM on June 5, 2013

Quit while you're ajar.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:32 PM on June 5, 2013

Red in the face, hover in place. Red in the knee, take to the sea!
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:35 PM on June 5, 2013

Saying for those of us who live 5 miles due east of a nuclear power plant (in my case, the way-too-appropriately-named Diablo Canyon):

"Red skies at night, sailor's delight.
Green skies at night, nuclear engineers call your office."
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:04 PM on June 5, 2013

Time waits for no man.
Newsweek, however, is waiting for someone to put it out of its misery.

I'll bet you were expecting a Doctor Who joke... or a Tom Waits joke. Gotcha!
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:11 PM on June 5, 2013

Unjust moderation is itself a species of violence. Banning as a result of it is more so.
posted by dg at 10:43 PM on June 5, 2013

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things. - Dan Quayle
posted by Area Man at 12:03 AM on June 6, 2013

wine isn't as good as more wine
posted by Namlit at 12:19 AM on June 6, 2013

What. Ever. - Moon Zappa
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:19 AM on June 6, 2013

Quayle quips about verbosity - we have it!
posted by Namlit at 12:20 AM on June 6, 2013

XXXXXXXXXX over my profile pic and drop me off at The Village...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:20 AM on June 6, 2013

Rear ending isn't as fun as it used to be
posted by Namlit at 12:21 AM on June 6, 2013

Sever your thighs and you will be free
posted by Namlit at 12:22 AM on June 6, 2013

Somebody put this out of order.

OUT OF ORDER? YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:23 AM on June 6, 2013

testing... testing... one... two... three... we bomb Moscow in 15 minutes...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:24 AM on June 6, 2013

unruliness is the revenge of the neighbors
posted by Namlit at 12:25 AM on June 6, 2013

Very smart people cannot communicate with very unsmart people
posted by Namlit at 12:26 AM on June 6, 2013

We're still crafting aphorisms, while onesoupwell apparently is about to be dropped over eastern territories, or something...
posted by Namlit at 12:28 AM on June 6, 2013

xermit was a dog with a funny voice
posted by Namlit at 12:29 AM on June 6, 2013

you yodel once, you've yodeled them all
posted by Namlit at 12:30 AM on June 6, 2013

Zetterlund was a Swedish singer, which cannot be said of most other people
posted by Namlit at 12:31 AM on June 6, 2013

and you'd better get my nick correct or you'll have to answer to Roy Blount Jr.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:32 AM on June 6, 2013

An attack a day keeps the doctor standby
posted by Namlit at 12:33 AM on June 6, 2013

better than getting on the wrong side of Piers Anthony
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:34 AM on June 6, 2013

Be careful when grilling guacamole. It might fall through.
posted by Namlit at 12:34 AM on June 6, 2013

Can't we all just get a bomb?
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight at 12:39 AM on June 6, 2013

Diesel Sweetness
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:59 AM on June 6, 2013

Everything is Everything

or, more concisely

Everything Everything
posted by greenish at 5:07 AM on June 6, 2013

Farther you are from home, the further you have to go to find your car keys
posted by ook at 5:30 AM on June 6, 2013

Grow taller, or the top shelf will be forever closed to you
posted by ook at 5:35 AM on June 6, 2013

Hamhandedness is not for consumption
posted by Namlit at 5:37 AM on June 6, 2013

I stink therefore I'm spam.
posted by h00py at 5:45 AM on June 6, 2013

jelly can't be used for fishing, no matter what certain animals tell you.
posted by Namlit at 6:25 AM on June 6, 2013

krud, there's the k again said he and fainted.
posted by Namlit at 6:26 AM on June 6, 2013

Lucks a lawdy, my bottom's on fire!
posted by h00py at 6:28 AM on June 6, 2013

Making nooky is more fun than making gnocchi.
posted by Kabanos at 7:04 AM on June 6, 2013

Neither a Gloria nor a Glenda be.
posted by h00py at 7:13 AM on June 6, 2013

One way or another I'm gonna bind ya, I'm gonna net ya net ya net ya net ya
posted by h00py at 8:45 AM on June 6, 2013

Proof of the pudding is in the list of ingredients and the government-mandated nutritional information on the label. (U.S. pudding, not U.K.)
posted by Area Man at 9:02 AM on June 6, 2013

Quick is the brown fox that can jump over the lazy dog.
posted by Kabanos at 9:11 AM on June 6, 2013

Repetition is the mother of learning.
posted by Area Man at 9:24 AM on June 6, 2013

Sell low, buy high.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:27 AM on June 6, 2013

The darkest hour is in the middle of the night.
posted by Area Man at 9:34 AM on June 6, 2013

Under every foundation some rain must seep.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:43 AM on June 6, 2013

Very much rain seeps under my foundation. Fact.
posted by Namlit at 9:51 AM on June 6, 2013

When in doubt, gout.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:52 AM on June 6, 2013

xylohome is a clunker
posted by Namlit at 9:53 AM on June 6, 2013

Yeah well, sorry. End of workday.
posted by Namlit at 9:54 AM on June 6, 2013

Zeroism is like heroism, but much less so.
posted by Namlit at 9:58 AM on June 6, 2013

A house divided against itself has a nice cozy courtyard area.
posted by box at 11:53 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

Bees in the hand are better than stings in the tush.
posted by donnagirl at 12:06 PM on June 6, 2013

Counting chickens before they hatch is a good way to find out if there are thieves nearby.
posted by Night_owl at 1:08 PM on June 6, 2013

Digging someone else's mixed metaphor is a grave mistake
posted by Namlit at 1:10 PM on June 6, 2013

Finding new funliners is a fantastic type of brain massage
posted by Namlit at 1:14 PM on June 6, 2013

Give me Liberty or give me meth.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:20 PM on June 6, 2013

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

I'm not going bald, I'm just growing more head skin.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:21 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear it, can we still sue?
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:28 PM on June 6, 2013

Jump in line if you're a hop skip and a jump away, just look before you leap.
posted by Kabanos at 1:32 PM on June 6, 2013

kettle of fish is a dubious dish
posted by Namlit at 1:40 PM on June 6, 2013

Look before leap, except in the dictionary.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:41 PM on June 6, 2013

Now is the winter of our discontent. The Summer of Discontent wasn't much better.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:46 PM on June 6, 2013

Many a mickle makes a muckle. Muckle a comment is placed out of order.
posted by arcticseal at 1:48 PM on June 6, 2013

Out of sight, out of mind.

Invisible idiocy.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:49 PM on June 6, 2013

Putting all your eggs in one basket is unreasonable, so you should purchase individual baskets for each of your eggs. That's 12 baskets that you'll be needing for that dozen, M'am. And the baskets are sold separately. That's how they get you.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:51 PM on June 6, 2013

Pasta is no good medium for a smear campaign, no matter its name.
posted by Namlit at 1:51 PM on June 6, 2013

Quest for the holy quail. With garlic and rosemary. Hmmmmm.
posted by Namlit at 1:53 PM on June 6, 2013

Right up my alley, the car came at high speed and knocked down all the trees
posted by Namlit at 1:54 PM on June 6, 2013

So... two logicians walk into a bar but the second one steps outside the bar. "Is it true that you are in the bar?" asks the first. "No, clearly I am outside the bar." responds the second logician. "Then I will drink your drink, since you are not inside." the first says.

Not too happy with this, the second logician says "don't drink my drink! I will be in the bar in a few minutes."

The second logician says "all values of truth or falsehood depend on the assumption that we can evaluate propositions without regard to temporality. Therefore I will drink your drink."

This joke took fourth place at the International Competition of Logical Humor, but has largely been forgotten since.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:19 PM on June 6, 2013

There are only two ways to know Truth; by knowing what is True, and by knowing what is False. The third way is by thinking outside the box.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:19 PM on June 6, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, the following pair of aphorisms are contradictory:

Abscence makes the Heart grow fonder
Out of sight, out of mind

It's a scary possibility, that aphorisms may not encode absolute truisms, but rather situational perspectives.

Only the strong survive.
A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

It happens often. Greatly condensed summaries of human experience have weight for their condensation, but collide with other such summaries.

He who hesitates is lost.
Haste makes waste

posted by twoleftfeet at 2:37 PM on June 6, 2013

VERIZON is a word that didn't exist when I was a child.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:15 PM on June 6, 2013

WWW dot anything didn't exist when I was a child.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:17 PM on June 6, 2013

YOUTUBE wasn't an option when I was growing up.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:18 PM on June 6, 2013

ZILLOW can tell me how much my neighbor's house is worth. Previously I had to actually ask my neighbor about this, which was an awkward question.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:19 PM on June 6, 2013

APPLE wasn't a multimedia conglomerate when I was young. It was a company that made personal computers. And when I was very young, APPLE was a fruit.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:21 PM on June 6, 2013

BUZZFEED didn't exist when I was growing up. In my day, if you learned some really cool gossip (Macklelmore is partying with interns!) you had to ride your horse twenty miles before you could share it with your homies.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:08 PM on June 6, 2013

Cold as it may seem, FACEBOOK didn't exist when I was young. We had to make friends face-to-face, and often we could not unfriend them.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:42 PM on June 6, 2013

DIGG was spelled with one G when I was a child.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:43 PM on June 6, 2013

Every time I read an Adobe PDF I remember the days before portable documents were made out of adobe.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:48 PM on June 6, 2013

Flash doesn't seem as flashy to me anymore. Maybe I've seen one too many .swf files.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:50 PM on June 6, 2013

GO DADDY used to have hot chicks advertising their domain name service, but in the last year or so those ads have completely disappeared. What happened? Did they run out of hot chicks?
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:54 PM on June 6, 2013

HOTMAIL was hot once. Now it's barely aLIVE.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:55 PM on June 6, 2013

Internet didn't exist when I was young. If we wanted to find out something we had to read a book.
posted by dg at 4:57 PM on June 6, 2013

JAVA was a kind of coffee when I was growing up. Now it's something that requires frequent updates.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:58 PM on June 6, 2013

KAZAA, KASASA, and KIJIJI are all things, or they were.
posted by box at 5:17 PM on June 6, 2013

Luddites are suspicious of technology. Crudités are pieces of raw vegetables served as an hors d'oeuvre, often with a dip
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:27 PM on June 6, 2013

Malachite is a copper carbonate hydroxide mineral, with the formula Cu₂CO₃(OH)_2., and Moloch is an ancient Ammonite god.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:46 PM on June 6, 2013

No, listen, guys. I have no idea what the theme of this thread is, and I'm gonna let you get back to it, but malachite is a pretty fucking awesome rock. It's super pretty. Moloch isn't, but he is in my favorite poem, so that's OK.
posted by NoraReed at 6:00 PM on June 6, 2013

Extra-virgin Olive Oyl is why Popeye's forearms were so big.
posted by box at 6:02 PM on June 6, 2013

PINTEREST before the Web involved kleptomania and a cork board.
posted by en forme de poire at 6:38 PM on June 6, 2013

QIVIUT is not a word I get to play in Scrabble very often.
posted by box at 6:53 PM on June 6, 2013

ROCK CAFE was a version of Hard Rock Cafe, for people who didn't want it that hard.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:39 PM on June 6, 2013

SQL is a database language. The acronym is a contraction of SOCCER BALL.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:42 PM on June 6, 2013

THC is an acronym for The History Channel, a popular cable TV channel.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:45 PM on June 6, 2013

Um, there's no 'Q' in 'soccer ball' ...
posted by dg at 8:11 PM on June 6, 2013

VHS was a videotape format that helped launch the era of video playback in the home. It stands for Very Hard Sex, which was a popular form of content first supplied by VHS.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:18 PM on June 6, 2013

WWW is an abbreviation for World Wide Web, but it's actually faster to say "World Wide Web" than it is to say WWW, so it's not much of an abbreviation.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:19 PM on June 6, 2013

X-Files was a series of documentaries that chronicles known contact with those from other worlds.
posted by dg at 8:29 PM on June 6, 2013

XXX stands for porn. Also for a particular winning combination in Tic-Tac-Toe. Oddly enough, OOO, which seems way more pornographic to me, never caught on.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:29 PM on June 6, 2013

YYY is the official airport code of Mont Joli, Quebec, Canada. The name is based on the story of the three Ys men, who were French Canadian.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:34 PM on June 6, 2013

ZZZ means sleeping, because it is the last sound of the alphabet, the one you make when you go to sleep. And you make it three times.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:36 PM on June 6, 2013

AAA is an acronym for Automobile Alcoholics Anonymous, which is an organization devoted to the promotion of drunk driving, albeit anonymously.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:40 PM on June 6, 2013

BBB is a designation for Bed & Breakfast. Some of the finer establishments throw in an extra B at no extra charge.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:43 PM on June 6, 2013

CCC symbolizes the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. The D was dropped as a compromise with the far right, because "democracy" is not appealing to them.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:47 PM on June 6, 2013

DDTD&D is a game that involves killing dragons in their dungeons by using Dichloro-diphenyl-trichloroethane.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:01 PM on June 6, 2013

EEE is a specific form of GADS.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:04 PM on June 6, 2013

FFF is what you type if you are trying to find FF but forget to hit the CTRL key.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:06 PM on June 6, 2013

GGG is the beginning of a piece by Beethoven. The next note is E-flat. It's quite famous.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:09 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

HHH - His & Hers & Howard's. Bath towel monograms in a very unusual household.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:12 PM on June 6, 2013

III - This means thiiird.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:13 PM on June 6, 2013

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ - what you get when you're bored, and you just start tapping your right finger, forgetting that it's on a keyboard.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:15 PM on June 6, 2013

KKK - this doesn't stand for anything worthwhile.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:16 PM on June 6, 2013

LLL. In Spanish, the triple L is pronounced like the letter Y, with an extra L.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:18 PM on June 6, 2013

MMM - stands for good food.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:18 PM on June 6, 2013

No doubt, you need to take a breath!
posted by dg at 9:19 PM on June 6, 2013

ooo. you just broke the chain.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:20 PM on June 6, 2013

PPP - Pandering Panda Post.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:24 PM on June 6, 2013

QQQ reminds me of an odd fact. There is only one word in the English language that has two Qs in it. None with three.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:35 PM on June 6, 2013

RRR. There are at least seven words that can be formed by inserting vowels between these letters. For example, ERROR and RARER.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:36 PM on June 6, 2013

SSS. There is at least one distress signal that can be formed by inserting vowels between these letters (plural).
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:38 PM on June 6, 2013

T42&24T
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:45 PM on June 6, 2013

u∪u=u, in Set Theory.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:48 PM on June 6, 2013

vvvv≠ww
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:50 PM on June 6, 2013

What if Shakespeare joined Metafilter?

To be or not to be, that is the question.
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep.

posted by twoleftfeet at 11:19 PM on June 6, 2013

XXX was an underated action movie. Sure it was stupid, but it had Vin Diesel.
posted by Ghidorah at 11:36 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

You must have overlooked "quasiquinquereme".
posted by flabdablet at 1:03 AM on June 7, 2013

quasiquinquerme is not a real word. You can't just stick "quasi" in front of a real word and have it stick. In this context it doesn't make sense.

But I recognize your point.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:07 AM on June 7, 2013

Quinquerme is correct though, as an answer to a previous puzzle. Not a word one would use daily.

I'm totally screwing up the alphabet here. Got to remember how that goes...
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:17 AM on June 7, 2013

Z. OK. There are words in the English language that have two Zs. One of them is JAZZ. Another is PIZZA. But there is only one natural word with three Zs.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:23 AM on June 7, 2013

Albuquerque has two Qs too.
posted by flabdablet at 1:27 AM on June 7, 2013

B's aren't that difficult. I bet that most people know a word that has four B's.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:29 AM on June 7, 2013

Can a flibbertigibbet count to a quinquinquagintillion?
posted by flabdablet at 1:31 AM on June 7, 2013

Don't ever invest a quinquinquagintillion. It's not even an accepted number.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:33 AM on June 7, 2013

Don't ever invest in the letter E. It's better to invest in I before you consider investing in E. Except after C.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:37 AM on June 7, 2013

E is not a letter, but rather a series of horizontal stroke marks, bound together by a vertical mark.

That's why I invest in F, which has one fewer horizontal strokes.

I like the increase in efficiency.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:40 AM on June 7, 2013

For real pizzazz, invest a quingenquinquinquagintillion.
posted by flabdablet at 1:46 AM on June 7, 2013

G has always seemed to me to be a very suspicious letter. If you look very closely at the letter G you will notice that it seems to be inhaling itself - the little bar on the G is penetrating the circular part of the G.

Perhaps "inhaling" is too polite a word. Let's face it... G is sucking its own dick.

I don't think it's appropriate to have lewd letters like G around my children, and I propose that the alphabet go DEFHIJK, skipping over the offensive G. As a concerned parent, G has no place in the alphabet that my children are learning.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:54 AM on June 7, 2013

H isn't any better. Do you know who's name begins with H? That's right... Hitler.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:17 AM on June 7, 2013

I say we just scrap the whole lot of them and start over.
posted by flabdablet at 2:21 AM on June 7, 2013

I beams look like I. But they're also known as H-beams, W-beams or double-T beams. I'm pretty sure that Jesus wants I beams, and the others are the work of Satan.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:26 AM on June 7, 2013

Jesus was a carpenter, he probably wants 2x4s.
posted by Dr Dracator at 3:41 AM on June 7, 2013

K looks pretty kantankerous to me with all those unmotivated diagonals and stuff. Unruly, like. No wonder there are too few words that use it.
posted by Namlit at 3:51 AM on June 7, 2013

Lots of 'l's in Lallybroch, though.
posted by Namlit at 3:54 AM on June 7, 2013

M always looks to me as part of that spider that later died: W
posted by Namlit at 3:55 AM on June 7, 2013

n is an m that wasn't trying hard enough.
posted by pianissimo at 5:15 AM on June 7, 2013

o is ook een letter (insider tip: ook is Dutch and means also)
posted by Namlit at 6:23 AM on June 7, 2013

p has everything the
posted by Namlit at 6:24 AM on June 7, 2013

q hasn't.
posted by Namlit at 6:24 AM on June 7, 2013

r isn't even all the way to n, let alone m.
posted by box at 6:33 AM on June 7, 2013

s might be upside-down and we would never know.
posted by Kabanos at 6:50 AM on June 7, 2013

t just fits really well.
posted by Kabanos at 6:51 AM on June 7, 2013

u are so beautiful.
to me.

can't you see?
posted by Kabanos at 6:51 AM on June 7, 2013

V is for Van data.
posted by Kabanos at 6:56 AM on June 7, 2013

W and Σ, while morphologically somewhat similar, do not share many genes.
posted by Kabanos at 7:01 AM on June 7, 2013

X likes doing jumping jacks.
posted by Kabanos at 7:05 AM on June 7, 2013

Y wants its armpits to dry.
posted by Kabanos at 7:06 AM on June 7, 2013

ZOMG was the ruler of the planet XYRZON until 2451 AD, when he was overthrown by KFOP after the battle of SHMUR. the battle marked the violent end to ZOMG'S noble reign as ultra-lord. KFOP soon proved to be an incapable ruler of XYRZON, and the planet collapsed into chaos in 2453. since that day, the residents of XYRZON have used ZOMG as a declaration, nay, an exclaimation of hope. hope that one day peace shall return to XYRZON, on the shoulders of a truly worthy king.

I did not know any of this previously, but this looks like a credible source.
posted by Kabanos at 7:08 AM on June 7, 2013

Aiyah (and other expressions of minor exasperation).

Where did everyone go? We're not abandoning this record attempt are we?

I love how I can dip in and out of this thread. A small part of me will die when this thread ends. Yes, I am a nerd, thanks for asking.
posted by pianissimo at 7:38 AM on June 7, 2013

Bah.
posted by pianissimo at 7:48 AM on June 7, 2013

Curses!
posted by Kabanos at 8:00 AM on June 7, 2013

Drat.
posted by Kabanos at 8:00 AM on June 7, 2013

Egad!
posted by Kabanos at 8:00 AM on June 7, 2013

Can't you see: everyone is still here. Lurrking in the shadows, ready to strike.
posted by Namlit at 8:00 AM on June 7, 2013

F*** this thread takes so long to re-load that others can make three posts while it does so...
posted by Namlit at 8:01 AM on June 7, 2013

Gadzooks!
posted by Kabanos at 8:02 AM on June 7, 2013

Herr im Himmel!
posted by Namlit at 8:03 AM on June 7, 2013

I'm at work. So I'm dealing with super-duper speed internets. But at home, on the iPad, it is slooooow. Whenever I add a comment, the reload gets stuck at the very top of the thread for a good while before it finally scrolls down to the bottom. So every time, I am left staring at, and reflecting on, donnagirl's first comment: "So why do you want it to be deleted?"

And I scream in my head, "BECAUSE ALPHABETHREAD IS NEVER-ENDING AND IS RUINING MY LIFE!".

But really I love Alphabethread, so I will never leave.
posted by Kabanos at 8:10 AM on June 7, 2013 [2 favorites]

Just had to get that off my chest.
posted by Kabanos at 8:12 AM on June 7, 2013

Krikey!
posted by Kabanos at 8:13 AM on June 7, 2013

LORDS OF LIGHT!
posted by vrakatar at 8:23 AM on June 7, 2013

Mmmm (as said by Marge Simpson, as opposed to mmmm...donuts as said by Homer)
posted by pianissimo at 8:27 AM on June 7, 2013

Nuts. Now I want donuts. And nuts.
posted by pianissimo at 8:28 AM on June 7, 2013

Oy vey. Let's make the next theme more optimistic.
posted by pianissimo at 8:30 AM on June 7, 2013

Pestilence! (Imagine Clouseau saying this)
posted by Namlit at 8:34 AM on June 7, 2013

Quaramba!
posted by Namlit at 8:35 AM on June 7, 2013

Rats (ok ok. This is a tad Charles M. Schulzy, but what are you gonna do)
posted by Namlit at 8:37 AM on June 7, 2013

Sufferin succotash!
posted by pianissimo at 8:41 AM on June 7, 2013

Tsk. I never realised succotash was a food! I thought it was just something Sylvester said.
posted by pianissimo at 8:47 AM on June 7, 2013

Upside-down uglyfruit!
posted by box at 8:59 AM on June 7, 2013

Venom and pest!
posted by Namlit at 10:10 AM on June 7, 2013

Wawawa wawa wawawa wa wawawawa! (Homer Simpson, after his fuse blew)
posted by Namlit at 10:10 AM on June 7, 2013

[x-rated]!
posted by Iridic at 10:14 AM on June 7, 2013

Ye gods!
posted by Iridic at 10:18 AM on June 7, 2013

Zounds!
posted by Iridic at 10:24 AM on June 7, 2013

A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, heros, rajahs, a coloratura, maps, snipe, percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a tag, a banana bag again (or a camel), a crepe, pins, Spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal – Panama!
posted by Iridic at 10:24 AM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

Beethoven, coffee beans, a broken piano, a walk in the woods, Vienna and Leipzig, Buda and Pest too, and Bratislava, a score in the rain, doors slammed close, unreadable copy, unhearable music, lead poisoning, random association, yayss, you were staying??
posted by Namlit at 10:39 AM on June 7, 2013

Calliope, pinwheel, nickelodeon, the Muppet Show, Rita Moreno.
posted by EvaDestruction at 12:01 PM on June 7, 2013

Don't Starve. Looks neat. Anyone tried?
posted by Kabanos at 12:12 PM on June 7, 2013

Evidently not, or I wouldn't write here.
posted by Namlit at 12:18 PM on June 7, 2013

Fixed point in time. So, so sorry. Taxi! Oi! All my love to long ago. I once saved the universe with a big yellow truck! Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. Upgrading is compulsory. I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye. Allons-y! Don't you think she looks tired? It's what's in the dark. It's what's always in the dark. He will knock four times. ...you know the Doctor's wonderful and he's brilliant, but he's like fire: stand too close, and people get burned. Sweet, maybe... passionate, I suppose.... But don't ever mistake that for nice. Oh, Tallulah with 3 L's and an H, just you watch me. It's like Stephen Hawking meets the speaking clock. He has saved your lives so many times and you never even knew he was there. Oh, this is my lover, the King of France. Yeah? Well I'm the Lord of Time.
posted by zarq at 2:51 PM on June 7, 2013

Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog.

nothing to do with palindromes, I'm just enjoying a Stouffer's formerly-frozen "Satisfying Serving" Lasagna, which, based on the Nutrition Facts on the package, should keep me Satisfied through next Tuesday
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:13 PM on June 7, 2013

How many comments are we from the All-Time All-Site Record (8517)? Just under 3000.
How much time do we have? Just under 8 days.

What do I suggest? PANIC!!!
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:20 PM on June 7, 2013

I must note that "PANIC!!!" is my advice most times I am asked for advice, but it is something I rarely do myself.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:21 PM on June 7, 2013

Just enjoying the show.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:21 PM on June 7, 2013

Keeping my head when all those around me are losing theirs... it usually gives me a height advantage.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:22 PM on June 7, 2013

Let Kipling stay dead, oneswell. The poem, too.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:24 PM on June 7, 2013

Masterfully put. Stay put. Just write
posted by Namlit at 4:34 PM on June 7, 2013

No stalling. Just go on with it...
posted by Namlit at 4:35 PM on June 7, 2013

Obits can be written later, Now we work.
posted by Namlit at 4:36 PM on June 7, 2013

Personal opinion. Mine. And I share it.
posted by Namlit at 4:36 PM on June 7, 2013

Question: Why would you share a personal opinion
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:37 PM on June 7, 2013

Question is who else is really out there? Helleuh?
posted by Namlit at 4:37 PM on June 7, 2013

Really, it's personal. There's no reason to throw it out there for everyone to critique and everything.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:38 PM on June 7, 2013

Right now, it's (again) 1:30 in the night and I seem to be alone here.
posted by Namlit at 4:38 PM on June 7, 2013

Surely, Göran wouldn't approve of this, No Precious, he wouldn't approve at all.
posted by Namlit at 4:39 PM on June 7, 2013

Slow, Namlit. Slow.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:39 PM on June 7, 2013

Too late! Again!
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:39 PM on June 7, 2013

Understanding is the first step toward hopelessness.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:45 PM on June 7, 2013

Virtue is the most socially accepted annoying personal trait.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:46 PM on June 7, 2013

Well, it is hard being so good all the time, y'know.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:48 PM on June 7, 2013

Xtra points if you can be good and survive a season of Game of Thrones.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:49 PM on June 7, 2013

You'd think Tyrion would be dead by now, but he's apparently sleazy enough not to be killable just yet.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:51 PM on June 7, 2013

ZPOILERS! yes I have turned into That Guy. I'm only halfway through season two and have been trying really hard to not learn any more about the red wedding thing but people keep NAMING NAMES
posted by ook at 4:59 PM on June 7, 2013

And now what we do for the next 2500 comments is everyone frantically post full alphabets in any order, collisions and overlaps bedamned, just bust out that thesaurus and go for it, there are RECORDS TO BE MADE
posted by ook at 5:00 PM on June 7, 2013

(but no we won't really do that. That would be cheating)
posted by ook at 5:01 PM on June 7, 2013

Cheating is the only way to play the game of thrones, ook
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:02 PM on June 7, 2013

DAMMIT
posted by ook at 5:02 PM on June 7, 2013

Even you should know that.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:03 PM on June 7, 2013

Everybody wins, or they die! Or both! Probably both!
posted by ook at 5:03 PM on June 7, 2013

FAILURE
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:05 PM on June 7, 2013

Goal setting is important in avoiding failure. What are we trying to get to here? I'll do my best to help.
posted by donnagirl at 5:06 PM on June 7, 2013

Haven't died yet... or won... it's not a failure yet
posted by ook at 5:09 PM on June 7, 2013

Heroic effort in the name of a trivial endeavor.

Should be a MetaTalk tagline.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:10 PM on June 7, 2013

I noted one alphabet ago:

How many comments are we from the All-Time All-Site Record (8517)? Just under 3000.
How much time do we have? Just under 8 days.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:11 PM on June 7, 2013

Just because I consider it semi-wrong that an Election Night thread was the "Longest in MetaFilter History", I support reclaiming the title in the name of NONSENSE!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:13 PM on June 7, 2013

Keeping up has been difficult. I tend to just jump in and not read back. I think 8517 is doable.
posted by donnagirl at 5:17 PM on June 7, 2013

Less politics! More nonsense! Poodles!
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:17 PM on June 7, 2013

Math: 3000 comments/8 days = 375 comments per day
posted by donnagirl at 5:18 PM on June 7, 2013

Not even gonna check that with a calculator.
posted by donnagirl at 5:19 PM on June 7, 2013

Now we know what we have to do

ONWARD
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:19 PM on June 7, 2013

ONWARD
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:19 PM on June 7, 2013

Post more! Think less!
posted by donnagirl at 5:20 PM on June 7, 2013

Question not the reasons!
posted by donnagirl at 5:21 PM on June 7, 2013

Really don't like commenting more than 3 times in a row.
posted by donnagirl at 5:34 PM on June 7, 2013

So I'll comment now.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:35 PM on June 7, 2013

Time for Foopy!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:35 PM on June 7, 2013

Thanks!
posted by donnagirl at 5:36 PM on June 7, 2013

Ultimately a small thing to do.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:36 PM on June 7, 2013

Ugh, it's so slow to load on my laptop now. No hope of previewing.
posted by donnagirl at 5:36 PM on June 7, 2013

Understand that I'm waiting for an online event that is currently running late so I could wander away at any... uh...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:37 PM on June 7, 2013

Vanity compels me to try for the last comment since I had the first. Wrong?
posted by donnagirl at 5:37 PM on June 7, 2013

Why preview?

POST POST POST
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:40 PM on June 7, 2013

Well, I won't stand in your way.... can't speak for anyone else.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:41 PM on June 7, 2013

Xander always knew that when the rain started to fall it would be up to him to open the umbrella and hold it carefully over the world's head, like a mushroom but made of nylon instead of mush.
posted by h00py at 5:44 PM on June 7, 2013

Young Nancy was a very prancy type of vegetable. Some called her fancy but she preferred being called haute cuisine.
posted by h00py at 5:47 PM on June 7, 2013

Zucchini isn't very prancy
posted by donnagirl at 5:48 PM on June 7, 2013

Avocados can be grilled successfully. Guacamole can not.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:49 PM on June 7, 2013

Bananas wrapped in bacon and grilled on the barbie (not the doll) are bloody beautiful.
posted by h00py at 5:54 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

Costco Offering Free Hepatitis Vaccines To Customers Who Purchased Recalled Berries

has this been linked in the Costco thread yet?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:55 PM on June 7, 2013

Death. It's not the worst that can happen.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:57 PM on June 7, 2013

Ewwww. Hep berries.
posted by donnagirl at 5:59 PM on June 7, 2013

Fabulous! All the hep cats dig 'em!
posted by h00py at 6:02 PM on June 7, 2013

Guys and gals, gather round! Be the first on your block to try new Hep Berries!
posted by donnagirl at 6:07 PM on June 7, 2013

Hepster joke goes here.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:07 PM on June 7, 2013

I did think "of course it's Hepatitis A. Costco would never sell Hepatitis B."
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:08 PM on June 7, 2013

Join now for berries at the peak of summer hepness.
posted by donnagirl at 6:15 PM on June 7, 2013

Keep away from Runaround Sue. Hep! Hep!
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:18 PM on June 7, 2013

Let's drop the hep and move on, okie dokie?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:29 PM on June 7, 2013

MARCO!

POLO!
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:30 PM on June 7, 2013

Nacho friend.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:33 PM on June 7, 2013

ohhhhhhh.... (contains Jon Stewart & Spoiler)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:39 PM on June 7, 2013

PRISMs
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:40 PM on June 7, 2013

Quite less fun when you get told what jokes to drop so someone can go on a link run.
posted by donnagirl at 6:41 PM on June 7, 2013

Run links? Runaround Sue links! Hep!
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:45 PM on June 7, 2013

Sorry, I'm out.
posted by donnagirl at 6:47 PM on June 7, 2013

Tch. I post wot I likes because all those squares can just make like an orange and be sticky and juicy, you feedin' on my direction, home bake?
posted by h00py at 6:54 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

Uptalk?
posted by Kabanos at 7:10 PM on June 7, 2013

VRAK WANT TO KEEP PLAYING.
posted by vrakatar at 7:11 PM on June 7, 2013

What someone said upthread: Math: 3000 comments/8 days = 375 comments per day = about 14 alphabet cycles/day. That shouldn't be too hard. Should it? Should it?
posted by pianissimo at 7:16 PM on June 7, 2013

Xcept that it seems to take nearly a minute to actually publish after hitting post.
posted by pianissimo at 7:17 PM on June 7, 2013

Yes, thread load is becoming a problem. But it's really only what, 15 comments an hour?
posted by donnagirl at 7:19 PM on June 7, 2013

Zounds, I did that math right IN MY HEAD. Alphabet thread makes me strong.
posted by donnagirl at 7:20 PM on June 7, 2013

Ah said, "Zounds, I did that math right IN MY HEAD. Alphabet thread makes me strong."
posted by jeremias at 7:26 PM on June 7, 2013

Agnes pondered her pomegranate. "Preposterous!", she piped up.
posted by h00py at 7:26 PM on June 7, 2013

Bottom.
posted by h00py at 7:27 PM on June 7, 2013

Cads and bounders, what what?
posted by h00py at 7:29 PM on June 7, 2013

Double down, keep it moving.
posted by donnagirl at 7:32 PM on June 7, 2013

Eggs are up.

FLO! Eggs are up.
posted by shothotbot at 7:35 PM on June 7, 2013

Flo pondered gravity.
posted by h00py at 7:36 PM on June 7, 2013

Gravity pondered Flo.
posted by donnagirl at 7:39 PM on June 7, 2013

George streamed merrily.
posted by h00py at 7:39 PM on June 7, 2013

h00py made two Gs with me.
posted by donnagirl at 7:40 PM on June 7, 2013

I did and I'd do it again!
posted by h00py at 7:41 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

Just get you're own thread, will ya?
posted by shothotbot at 7:41 PM on June 7, 2013

Kiss off into the air! You're not my dad!
posted by h00py at 7:43 PM on June 7, 2013

Let me show you my driver's license, son.
posted by shothotbot at 7:45 PM on June 7, 2013

Kabonas said "Uptalk"
posted by jeremias at 7:45 PM on June 7, 2013

Let's calm down. There are plenty of alphabets for everyone!
posted by pianissimo at 7:45 PM on June 7, 2013

Maybe where you live, but in these parts they're scarce.
posted by donnagirl at 7:49 PM on June 7, 2013

Natural, handcrafted and organic letters can easily be made in the comfort of your kitchen nook with only a small stick and boundless enthusiasm.
posted by h00py at 8:07 PM on June 7, 2013

Old world craftsmanship, hand sharpened serifs.
posted by shothotbot at 8:12 PM on June 7, 2013

Precise kerning.
posted by donnagirl at 8:15 PM on June 7, 2013

Q's that will make a grown man weep.
posted by donnagirl at 8:23 PM on June 7, 2013

Quickly Quark took the ancient art of printing letters to its quintessential qualities.
posted by h00py at 8:24 PM on June 7, 2013

Really?
posted by h00py at 8:25 PM on June 7, 2013

Something about you and me tonight, h00py.
posted by donnagirl at 8:28 PM on June 7, 2013

This is me finally pulling my weight in this thread. Sorry folks!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 8:33 PM on June 7, 2013

Unless you want to be known as a slacker all your life, you'll pound that keyboard and enter 15 non-sequiturs in a row and maybe toss in a link to something interesting while you're at it!
posted by h00py at 8:54 PM on June 7, 2013

Violets smell pretty.
posted by donnagirl at 8:57 PM on June 7, 2013

Waxwings fly into windows.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:58 PM on June 7, 2013

Xerxes was a jerk.
posted by donnagirl at 9:00 PM on June 7, 2013

Yertle, too.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:00 PM on June 7, 2013

Zebadee bounced happily on Dougal's head.
posted by h00py at 9:03 PM on June 7, 2013

Zebras smell of elderberries.
posted by donnagirl at 9:03 PM on June 7, 2013

All your base are neutralized by all your acid.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:04 PM on June 7, 2013

But now what game will we play?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:05 PM on June 7, 2013

Colors! Like for nail polish and such : Crimson Stain of Booty Call Shame
posted by donnagirl at 9:06 PM on June 7, 2013

Chooks and geese and fleas better scurry...
posted by h00py at 9:06 PM on June 7, 2013

donnagirl, I like the cut of your jib.
posted by h00py at 9:07 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

Damn, h00py, get off my ass. :-)
posted by donnagirl at 9:07 PM on June 7, 2013

Elberethless, the shade that will leave rothes panting for more.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:08 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

Evidently it is me on yours, my apologies.
posted by donnagirl at 9:08 PM on June 7, 2013

Dusty Digits, the perfect shade for alone times.
posted by h00py at 9:09 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

Frankly Frustrated, for when it's been a while.
posted by donnagirl at 9:10 PM on June 7, 2013

Fuck, I can't read. Flagrant Frangipani, for faffing around times.
posted by h00py at 9:10 PM on June 7, 2013

Flusterene, the perfect color for your awkward preteen's bathroom
posted by ook at 9:11 PM on June 7, 2013

Guys! Guys! Stop repeating letters!
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:13 PM on June 7, 2013

Gibletomancy. Not itself a color, but it does turn everything nearby reddish...
posted by ook at 9:13 PM on June 7, 2013

Homunculus!

(where is Homunculus? he's usually around for 20-day-old threads...)
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:14 PM on June 7, 2013

I think he'll show up when he has an awesome link about the Phoenician alphabet or something.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:14 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

Juicy Jalopies - an elegant shade of puce with little decals of old cars.
posted by h00py at 9:18 PM on June 7, 2013

K.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:19 PM on June 7, 2013

Kitten Klear - for when your motives are absolutely transparent
posted by donnagirl at 9:20 PM on June 7, 2013

Laramie Lavender, for the brokeback nights
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:20 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

Marauders' Musk - for that nighttime raid
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:23 PM on June 7, 2013

Nanna's Nightgown - a soft, nostalgic shade perfect for showing off whilst sipping a small glass of sherry.
posted by h00py at 9:24 PM on June 7, 2013

O-ren's Ostentation - a scent that cuts right through you
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:27 PM on June 7, 2013

Pop-Pop, the shade that says "that you're wearing that tells me you're old enough to be doing this"
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:28 PM on June 7, 2013

Query - for when you want to make them say: What is that?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:29 PM on June 7, 2013

Red Wedding - when the night holds surprises
posted by donnagirl at 9:31 PM on June 7, 2013

Renfield, when all you want to say is "yes, Master" and also maybe eat some spiders
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:31 PM on June 7, 2013

Sassy Startrek - lasts for your entire 5-year mission
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:32 PM on June 7, 2013

Teal Turquoise, when just one cheap blue isn't enough
posted by donnagirl at 9:33 PM on June 7, 2013

Unique Umber, dirty yet delightful!
posted by h00py at 9:36 PM on June 7, 2013

Velociraptor Velvet, Jurassic luxury!
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:41 PM on June 7, 2013

Westeros Weddingparty - a lovely blend of AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:41 PM on June 7, 2013

XL X-Wings, luxury transportation in a galaxy way over there somewhere
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:46 PM on June 7, 2013

Yellow Yearning - when your surroundings are just barely better than black and white
posted by donnagirl at 9:48 PM on June 7, 2013

Zamboni Zucchini - the best in frozen vegetables
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:50 PM on June 7, 2013

As Slow As Possible is a musical piece composed by John Cage in 1987 which is currently being performed at St. Burchardi church in Halberstadt, Germany. The performance began in 2001 and is scheduled to have a duration of 639 years, ending in 2640.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:50 PM on June 7, 2013

Alpaca Lunch
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:51 PM on June 7, 2013

Badgering the Witless...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:54 PM on June 7, 2013

Chorizo is a sausage shaped like an izo. It is full of orange liquid and something magical that makes it not liquidy.
posted by h00py at 10:03 PM on June 7, 2013

Doritos are a traditional Mexican food made from fried tortillas with a light seasoning. They are served in a metallic bag and accompanied by national advertising, in accord with Aztec tradition.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:09 PM on June 7, 2013

Eggs Benedict are small tasty ova harvested from a Cumberbatch.
posted by h00py at 10:13 PM on June 7, 2013

Flugelhornkakken is either a traditional German dish or a musical instrument.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:18 PM on June 7, 2013

Greek Yogurt is a dairy product that pledged to a fraternity.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:30 PM on June 7, 2013

Hey there, grumpy clogs! Feeling kinda mopey? Try Ethel's Blistering Lip Chips. Chancre? I think I'll spank her!
posted by h00py at 10:37 PM on June 7, 2013

I think this is where I previously lost consciousness...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:40 PM on June 7, 2013

"Just a reminder that one of the companies bidding on our acquisition has a significant Hollywood presence with a large Special Effects department."

my entry for the current New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:40 PM on June 7, 2013

Kinda getting close here. Another 50 or so comments and I'll try to accelerate toward the finish.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:43 PM on June 7, 2013

Llama!
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:59 PM on June 7, 2013

My goodness, this is a long GIF animation (but stay for the end)
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:09 PM on June 7, 2013

No Country for Old Muppets
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:12 PM on June 7, 2013

Or: No mr. Tintin, I don't think the design of your new balcony is stylish. (for the contest...)
posted by Namlit at 11:24 PM on June 7, 2013

Please don't confuse deutsch and dutch. "Kakken" indeed...
posted by Namlit at 11:26 PM on June 7, 2013

Questionable Wings à la Yesterday are those left on the counter for later Metafilter questions.
posted by Namlit at 11:28 PM on June 7, 2013

Reasonable Suspicion? Sounds like an oxymoron to me.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:30 PM on June 7, 2013

Suspicion or Doubt, neither one seems necessarily Reasonable.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:31 PM on June 7, 2013

There is no reasonable.
posted by dg at 11:51 PM on June 7, 2013

Truth in Infomercials
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:56 PM on June 7, 2013

until we meet again...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:05 AM on June 8, 2013

Victor twirled around and around. He collapsed, pressed his fingers into his closed eyes and watched the colours dance. Drugs were too expensive. This would have to do.
posted by h00py at 12:52 AM on June 8, 2013

What he hadn't anticipated was that the salad that was coming out of his ears.
posted by Namlit at 1:03 AM on June 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

Xanthareels frolicked merrily at his ankles. "Hmm", salivated Victor.
posted by h00py at 1:14 AM on June 8, 2013

Yet, he still hadn't grasped why waiters were following him around with salad bowls balanced on his shoulders.
posted by dg at 1:18 AM on June 8, 2013

Zesty xanthareel and salad! Just the ticket for a quiet night at home after a long week of gargling the hounds.
posted by h00py at 1:23 AM on June 8, 2013

And now I'm wondering what 'gargling the hounds' is a euphemism for;-)
posted by dg at 1:47 AM on June 8, 2013

Be ye not aware of Spiffington Manse? (2:36)
posted by h00py at 1:50 AM on June 8, 2013

Clearly not. Well, I am now, but wasn't when you posed that question.
posted by dg at 1:58 AM on June 8, 2013

Don't let it consume your life as it has done mine.
posted by h00py at 1:59 AM on June 8, 2013

Even if I did, it looks like a better life than the one I have, so why not?
posted by dg at 2:06 AM on June 8, 2013

For one thing, there's lots more sweeping involved.
posted by h00py at 2:07 AM on June 8, 2013

Got plenty of sweeping in my life already, so that doesn't scare me.
posted by dg at 2:09 AM on June 8, 2013

How about cyborgs?
posted by h00py at 2:10 AM on June 8, 2013

I'm not afraid of cyborgs. Everyone needs somewhere to store plates.
posted by dg at 2:11 AM on June 8, 2013

"Just the ticket!", exclaimed Madam Ponk. The hound panted.
posted by h00py at 2:14 AM on June 8, 2013

Kids are so inconvenient - just ducking out to pick one up from work. Back in 40 or so.
posted by dg at 2:16 AM on June 8, 2013

Lovely! We'll all be here, farting away and typing deliriously.
posted by h00py at 2:17 AM on June 8, 2013

Man, I love the edit window.
posted by h00py at 2:21 AM on June 8, 2013

Now I must go and make mini quiches for my father's 80th birthday party tomorrow. Adieu!
posted by h00py at 2:30 AM on June 8, 2013

Only it takes a while for the onions to caramelise.
posted by h00py at 2:54 AM on June 8, 2013

Oh, that's a shame.
posted by dg at 2:55 AM on June 8, 2013

Properly caramelised onions are worth the wait.
posted by h00py at 2:56 AM on June 8, 2013

QFT: Properly caramelised onions are worth the wait.
posted by dg at 2:56 AM on June 8, 2013

Roolly goremay keesh requires proper attention.
posted by h00py at 2:58 AM on June 8, 2013

Stuffed if I know what that even means.
posted by dg at 2:59 AM on June 8, 2013

Terribly sorry, slipped on the bogan and got it all over the screen.
posted by h00py at 3:01 AM on June 8, 2013

Unfortunately, I remembered where you live and thought you said you slipped on a bogan. Sorry about that.
posted by dg at 3:04 AM on June 8, 2013

Verily, the edit window covers my shame. Although, we call them bevans here. And I'm surrounded. Luckily, I'm a horrific dag so it's not such a big thing.
posted by h00py at 3:06 AM on June 8, 2013

Well, whatever you call them, I know where they go on Saturday nights - the intersection just down from my place. It's like wall-to-wall elderly Commodores there some nights.
posted by dg at 3:08 AM on June 8, 2013

Xr8 utes for the cashed up bogans around here.
posted by pianissimo at 3:09 AM on June 8, 2013

Yeah, only those with taste. The rest drive Commodore SS utes.
posted by dg at 3:11 AM on June 8, 2013

"'Zat moi fukken keesh, moit?", asks the bevan from his Sandman panel van.

We have lappers here so I win! Yeah, I'm a winner!
posted by h00py at 3:13 AM on June 8, 2013

And now we return to the more elegant part of the evening. Oh look, there's a perfectly formed pearl!
posted by h00py at 3:16 AM on June 8, 2013

Before you butted in, I was going to say:

Alright, I'll acknowledge that lappers do not frequent my neighborhood (perhaps because a block out here would be a 20 km trip), so maybe you do win. Admitting that you're old enough to know what a Sandman is, though, takes some of the gloss off.

I'll never admit that I once owned a panel van, complete with mattress and carpeted walls
posted by dg at 3:16 AM on June 8, 2013

Complete with the sticker about not knockin' when the van's arockin'?
In this van you never had, that is
posted by pianissimo at 3:18 AM on June 8, 2013

If I had owned such a vehicle, the sentiment on the stickers would have been implied rather than applied.
posted by dg at 3:19 AM on June 8, 2013

Dude, you skipped letters. It's the bucket bong for you.
posted by h00py at 3:20 AM on June 8, 2013

Effin' hell, I forgot the alphabet.
posted by dg at 3:21 AM on June 8, 2013

Forgotten Letters - a Sunnyboys b-side.
posted by h00py at 3:31 AM on June 8, 2013

Got that on vinyl.
posted by dg at 3:33 AM on June 8, 2013

Hand that man a grander spanner.
posted by flabdablet at 3:38 AM on June 8, 2013

I saw them at Bombay Rock. Yea verily, I am old and Australian.
posted by h00py at 3:41 AM on June 8, 2013

Just put the quiches in the oven. Twelve vegetarian and twelve non-vegetarian. I think they should turn out great. Of course, I'll keep you all updated.
posted by h00py at 4:25 AM on June 8, 2013

Kitchen Escapades, starring yer ol' pal, h00py.
posted by h00py at 4:33 AM on June 8, 2013

Linda lay down her weary spatula and contemplated the ragged rocks around which she was determined to run. The woodchuck lurked, ever closer.
posted by h00py at 4:40 AM on June 8, 2013

Man, I remember Bombay Rock. I am older than you and, although not technically Australian, having lived here for over 30 years, I guess I'm as close as I'll ever be.
posted by dg at 4:40 AM on June 8, 2013

No wucken furreys mate, get it in ya! You won't hear that in the halls of Versailles.
posted by h00py at 4:46 AM on June 8, 2013

Oh, unless you were on a Contiki tour.
posted by h00py at 4:50 AM on June 8, 2013

Puke is something else you'll see lots of on a Contiki Tour.
posted by dg at 4:52 AM on June 8, 2013

"Quaaack!", he regurgitated. His friends all laughed and spread his embarrassment around the Social Media as quickly as their fingers could press the appropriate buttons.
posted by h00py at 4:56 AM on June 8, 2013

'Ralph like a Duck' immediately went viral. Richard was devastated.
posted by h00py at 4:57 AM on June 8, 2013

'Squeal like a piggie', however, seemed to leave people with nothing more than nervous laughter.
posted by dg at 5:01 AM on June 8, 2013

Tears of a newt are a little-known herbal remedy.
posted by dg at 5:03 AM on June 8, 2013

Pig's dicks are almost as embarrassing as duck's dicks.
posted by h00py at 5:03 AM on June 8, 2013

Uh oh, I forgot the alphabet.
posted by h00py at 5:04 AM on June 8, 2013

Very good of me not to abuse the edit button again, I think.
posted by h00py at 5:05 AM on June 8, 2013

Very much, you forgot the fucking alphabet. Wouldn't see me make a stupid mistake like that.
posted by dg at 5:05 AM on June 8, 2013

Well, I would blame it on the stroke but apparently that's in poor taste because I haven't actually had one.
posted by h00py at 5:06 AM on June 8, 2013

X is the generation that we'll get to blame all our future woes on.
posted by dg at 5:08 AM on June 8, 2013

You baby boomer you.
posted by h00py at 5:09 AM on June 8, 2013

Zero potential in Y too, the lazy self-absorbed fuckers.
posted by h00py at 5:10 AM on June 8, 2013

zɛd
posted by dg at 5:11 AM on June 8, 2013

Although it is true that I'm a baby boomer, I still don't feel a day over 30.
posted by dg at 5:12 AM on June 8, 2013

I'm still about 15 if I can avoid all reflective surfaces and don't attempt to sit cross legged for longer than 10 minutes or so.
posted by h00py at 5:13 AM on June 8, 2013

Bloody hell! Get with the program, woman!
posted by dg at 5:14 AM on June 8, 2013

Cross-legged sitting is something I avoid, too. But then, I've had trouble doing that since I was about 15, so I refuse to take that as a sign of age.
posted by dg at 5:15 AM on June 8, 2013

Denial of my age works for me too. Mentally I'm around 12, maybe 13 on a good day.
posted by pianissimo at 5:17 AM on June 8, 2013

Eh, age is pretty irrelevant in my mind, once you turn 18 and are no longer your parent's problem.
posted by dg at 5:18 AM on June 8, 2013

Flip an egg and twist me sideways, I fucked up again!
posted by h00py at 5:19 AM on June 8, 2013

Go figure!
posted by dg at 5:20 AM on June 8, 2013

Hmm. I shall ponder my entries more carefully from now on. I have learned a valuable lesson tonight, my friends.
posted by h00py at 5:22 AM on June 8, 2013

I certainly hope so, but I'm prepared to cover your errors to the best of my limited ability.
posted by dg at 5:23 AM on June 8, 2013

Just what I always wanted! A wingman!
posted by h00py at 5:24 AM on June 8, 2013

Kool - we can be each other's wing-persons.
posted by dg at 5:25 AM on June 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

Lot of aging wing-persons
posted by Namlit at 5:29 AM on June 8, 2013

Maturing
posted by dg at 5:29 AM on June 8, 2013

Mind your manners, whippersnapper!
posted by h00py at 5:29 AM on June 8, 2013

No, that can't be right, because I'm not mature at all.
posted by dg at 5:30 AM on June 8, 2013

Oh, never mind that last comment, pops. Teach us the ways of the elders!
posted by h00py at 5:31 AM on June 8, 2013

Parmesan cheese can be mature and yet still retain youthful pep. Let us all be like the cheese.
posted by h00py at 5:33 AM on June 8, 2013

Quite sticky, sometimes, also.
posted by dg at 5:37 AM on June 8, 2013

Quite profound, I thought, whilst dipping into myself with a Jatz biscuit and making small talk.
posted by h00py at 5:37 AM on June 8, 2013

Really? Jatz are a bit salty for Parmesan, I would have thought.
posted by dg at 5:39 AM on June 8, 2013

Ravenously, she grated her thumb over a perfectly cooked spag bog.
posted by h00py at 5:39 AM on June 8, 2013

She pounced upon the keyboard, typing furiously. Parmesan, pesto and Jatz, hooray!
posted by h00py at 5:40 AM on June 8, 2013

That sounds delicious. Send some down my way, please?
posted by dg at 5:41 AM on June 8, 2013

To be honest, I've never been a fan of brie. But I hear it's quite popular?
posted by h00py at 5:41 AM on June 8, 2013

Um.. the thumb bog or the parsto?
posted by h00py at 5:43 AM on June 8, 2013

Um, we seem to have got ourselves out of sync here somewhat.
posted by dg at 5:43 AM on June 8, 2013

Vacuum wrap a bit of everything and throw it really hard.
posted by dg at 5:44 AM on June 8, 2013

When you throw it, be sure it goes high enough to clear Mt Tamborine, though.
posted by dg at 5:48 AM on June 8, 2013

Xenops clutched the package snugly within its talons and soared ever onwards.
posted by h00py at 5:51 AM on June 8, 2013

Yours was better than mine, so here goes my edit window abuse cherry. Was it good for you too?
posted by dg at 5:51 AM on June 8, 2013

Z is apparently the next world war.
posted by dg at 5:55 AM on June 8, 2013

Ah damn, I missed it! Story of my life, really.
posted by h00py at 5:57 AM on June 8, 2013

BTW, the story of mine also. It's probably fortunate that I've missed most opportunities that have come my way, because I screw up most of the ones that I do catch.
posted by dg at 5:59 AM on June 8, 2013

bringatrailer.com is, according to my browser autocomplete, the b-site that I visit most often.
posted by box at 5:59 AM on June 8, 2013

chat.metafilter.com is mine, but that's highly unreliable, given that I use a number of different machines and browsers, so that's really only for this machine.
posted by dg at 6:03 AM on June 8, 2013

'Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey' is top of the list for searches starting with D in my sad little world.
posted by h00py at 6:05 AM on June 8, 2013

'Emma Watson' seems to appear in mine. I take no responsibility for this - my daughters use the computer also.
posted by dg at 6:07 AM on June 8, 2013

Farewell, for I must repair to my bedchamber - we will have to leave this noble quest for glory in the capable hands of our American compatriots.
posted by dg at 6:42 AM on June 8, 2013

goodreads.com, beause of the Summer of the Wake
posted by donnagirl at 6:45 AM on June 8, 2013

Here is the point where I hang my head in shame and confess I still haven't opened a goodreads account to take part in the Wake thing. In my defense I am also behind on my correspondence, and have recently been blowing off work to play pool because reasons.
posted by Dr Dracator at 6:55 AM on June 8, 2013

I have a goodreads things and added a stack of books to my 'read' list but haven't done anything else with it at all. I started Finnegan's Wake a month or so ago. I could possibly get through it with other people holding my hand.
posted by h00py at 6:58 AM on June 8, 2013

Join the group! It's fairly non-intense and really helpful.
posted by donnagirl at 6:59 AM on June 8, 2013

Kinda quiet, maybe everyone's off reading Finnegan's Wake?
posted by donnagirl at 9:19 AM on June 8, 2013

Lazily thinking I should go read Finnegan's Wake.
posted by donnagirl at 9:21 AM on June 8, 2013

Man, the reload lag is just huge now. It tempts me to go load the most-comments-ever thread and see what our future holds.
posted by donnagirl at 9:24 AM on June 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

Not gonna do it, though.
posted by donnagirl at 10:41 AM on June 8, 2013

Open House for the groundbreaking of a new campus garden dedicated to my grandparent's memory was today. It's mostly just bare dirt now but I love that it will be filled with native plants and use recycled materials.
posted by donnagirl at 10:44 AM on June 8, 2013

Perhaps it's not healthy to talk to yourself so much, donnagirl.
posted by donnagirl at 12:23 PM on June 8, 2013

Quality conversation should be had whenever possible, though.
posted by donnagirl at 12:23 PM on June 8, 2013

Rhaps I should try Finnegan's Wake again. I took a shot at it once, with the book itself in one hand and one of those line-by-line answer key books in the other hand. I think I made it maybe three pages into the real book, which corresponded to roughly fifty pages in the answer key, before I realized I was just being pretentious and should stop.
posted by ook at 12:24 PM on June 8, 2013

Regarding talking to yourself as quality conversation is not a good sign.
posted by donnagirl at 12:24 PM on June 8, 2013

So true. Is it too late to claim I'm talking to the internets?
posted by donnagirl at 12:25 PM on June 8, 2013

some (like Gollum) take talking to themselves to a whole 'nother level. Healthy for whom, anyway...
posted by Namlit at 12:26 PM on June 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

Thanks, Namlit, I was getting worried that this was my personal project for the day!
posted by donnagirl at 12:27 PM on June 8, 2013

Talking to the internetz and teh internetz are does talking back
posted by Namlit at 12:27 PM on June 8, 2013

U've decided that when I'm in the middle of a long comment and someone else jumps in with the letter i was using I'll just swap in the next available letter, because fuck it. Except that last time I had to keep edging the letter all the way up from P, wound up as far as Q right before I hit post, saw it get nabbed, and jumped in with U as the next letter, naturally. Because U always comes after Q. EDIT WINDOW FTW
posted by ook at 12:28 PM on June 8, 2013

Very true. HoW often hasn't that happened to mX.
posted by Namlit at 12:29 PM on June 8, 2013

Windows for editing have saved many of my comments from being out of order.
posted by donnagirl at 12:32 PM on June 8, 2013

Xcept then often as not it makes the next person out of order. It's a total cascade of out-of-orderness, just like my career
posted by ook at 12:38 PM on June 8, 2013

Xactly how do you use the edit window when you're in a tight corner?
posted by Namlit at 12:38 PM on June 8, 2013

Xtremely useful, yes.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:39 PM on June 8, 2013

Yes, extremely useful, too.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:39 PM on June 8, 2013

ZABeah. This thread now takes so long to load that three comments get posted between the post button and the full reload.
posted by Namlit at 12:40 PM on June 8, 2013

Ah can't believe it.
posted by Namlit at 12:41 PM on June 8, 2013

BAnyone care for a theme run, or shall we just talk?
posted by donnagirl at 12:41 PM on June 8, 2013

Bah can.
posted by ook at 12:41 PM on June 8, 2013

Crappers its like typing in a tar pit.
posted by donnagirl at 12:42 PM on June 8, 2013

Do you mean you aren't typing in a tar pit?
posted by ook at 12:43 PM on June 8, 2013

Driving an old Volkswagen uphill
posted by Namlit at 12:43 PM on June 8, 2013

Eh, I could have sworn somewhere along the line we all agreed to get into tar pits, but the thread's too long to scroll up and find it
posted by ook at 12:44 PM on June 8, 2013

Fooey, now what am I going to do with all this tar
posted by ook at 12:45 PM on June 8, 2013

Guck it, late again!
posted by Namlit at 12:45 PM on June 8, 2013

I'm going to recommend BringATrailer.com, mentioned a couple alphabets ago, to a neighbor with a 1940-something bright-orange-but-getting-rusty Plymouth sedan parked next to the building at my end. (damn the order)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:45 PM on June 8, 2013

Hat's the spirit!
posted by ook at 12:46 PM on June 8, 2013

I'm gonna go work on building a day bed for my sunporch. Skipping H on purpose as strategery.
posted by donnagirl at 12:47 PM on June 8, 2013

Kinda worked out perfectly, maybe I'll do that from now on.
posted by donnagirl at 12:48 PM on June 8, 2013

Jou were right to do that, but there are no guarantees.
posted by Namlit at 12:49 PM on June 8, 2013

Kid I know, actually a grown man but I'm skipping J because it worked perfectly for donnagirl, should never see that bringatrailer site: he already has enough of a problem with purchasing beautiful rusted-out husks of obsolete vehicles which he will never have the time, space, or money to restore, so they just sit like a sculpture garden on his parents' lawn
posted by ook at 12:49 PM on June 8, 2013

Look, we can't all skip letters, then where would we be
posted by ook at 12:49 PM on June 8, 2013

Not been driven since I moved here 7.5 years ago, registration expired 10 years ago, people occasionally knock on my door to ask me if I'm the owner... it's the most pleasant random human encounters I get these days.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:50 PM on June 8, 2013

Mawn sculptures. I know.
posted by Namlit at 12:50 PM on June 8, 2013

Meh.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:50 PM on June 8, 2013

Pooh. (Winnie that is)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:51 PM on June 8, 2013

OMG where are we?
posted by donnagirl at 12:51 PM on June 8, 2013

OOOOh, eh.
posted by Namlit at 12:51 PM on June 8, 2013

Qualternative Quuniverse. Defin[a](uh)tely
posted by Namlit at 12:52 PM on June 8, 2013

Reelly, if we can just keep posting at this point, it hardly matters if P comes before O or even I before E (see what I did? speling dosn't count)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:54 PM on June 8, 2013

Sadly poor form for me to make fun of my friend, of course, as I myself am the owner of a 1969 Chevy lawn ornament which was running perfectly until I learned that vehicles from 1969 need rather more attention to the quantity of oil they contain than modern vehicles do...
posted by ook at 12:54 PM on June 8, 2013

True true. No olive oil in vintage cars
posted by Namlit at 12:56 PM on June 8, 2013

Utterly embarrassing it was to discover that there was a reason there's an oil gauge right there on the dashboard
posted by ook at 12:57 PM on June 8, 2013

Vinegar. You forgot the vinegar
posted by Namlit at 12:57 PM on June 8, 2013

What kind of vinegar is best for a plow truck? Balsamic seems the right weight, but too snooty
posted by ook at 12:59 PM on June 8, 2013

"Xcuse me, most of the dashboard IS ornamental, isn't it?"
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:59 PM on June 8, 2013

xotic vinegar of some kind. I forget.
posted by Namlit at 1:00 PM on June 8, 2013

You'd think there'd be more manly vinegars out there. Robust vinegar. Muscle vinegar.

On second thought, no, "muscle vinegar" sounds like the worst euphemism ever
posted by ook at 1:01 PM on June 8, 2013

Zorro Brand Vinegar, imported from someplace theyspeak Spanish
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:03 PM on June 8, 2013

Arrabbiato Vinegario. From somewhere where they don't speak Italian.
posted by Namlit at 1:09 PM on June 8, 2013

Bouillabaisse vinegar. Mmmm, chunky!
posted by ook at 1:24 PM on June 8, 2013

Carbonated vinegar, the taste sensation that's rocking the... well, it is a sensation after all, of sorts
posted by ook at 1:38 PM on June 8, 2013

Dunning-Kruger vinegar, the vinegar that does not do what it says on the tin
posted by ook at 1:40 PM on June 8, 2013

Esoteric vinegar, the vinegar of which I have already said too much
posted by ook at 1:42 PM on June 8, 2013

Finegar's Wake
posted by Kabanos at 1:46 PM on June 8, 2013

Finneganegar, where oranges have been laid to rust upon the green since devlinsfirst loved livvy
posted by ook at 1:46 PM on June 8, 2013

Ginegar, for when you're out of tonic
posted by ook at 1:46 PM on June 8, 2013

Horse vinegar. Strong stuff.
posted by ook at 1:47 PM on June 8, 2013

Inegar (later there will be outegar)
posted by ook at 1:48 PM on June 8, 2013

Jinegar: Steve Wilhite likes it, but he's wrong
posted by ook at 1:49 PM on June 8, 2013

Kinegar. Soak your family for fun and profit
posted by ook at 1:49 PM on June 8, 2013

Los Vinegar, a housing development in southern California
posted by ook at 1:50 PM on June 8, 2013

Minegar is much easier on the wallet (and pantry space) than Maxegar
posted by ook at 1:51 PM on June 8, 2013

Ninny Gar: you'd think a fish with that many teeth would be braver, but there it is anyway
posted by ook at 1:52 PM on June 8, 2013

Oenegar, beloved of oenophiles
posted by ook at 1:53 PM on June 8, 2013

Pinegar, pre-pinned for your pleasure
posted by ook at 1:54 PM on June 8, 2013

Quinegar: not the mewling one
posted by ook at 1:55 PM on June 8, 2013

Royal Academy of Vinegar: they'll start a royal academy for just about anything it turns out
posted by ook at 1:55 PM on June 8, 2013

Sinegar: that's the fun one
posted by ook at 1:56 PM on June 8, 2013

Tinegar is used to make bronzegar.
posted by ook at 1:57 PM on June 8, 2013

Utegar is a misspelling of outegar, which I forgot to use earlieregar
posted by ook at 1:57 PM on June 8, 2013

Vinegar vinegar is just like regular vinegar only more so
posted by ook at 1:58 PM on June 8, 2013

Wuscle Winegar. Only Pavel knows how much she can take.
posted by ook at 2:00 PM on June 8, 2013

Xtra strength vinegar vinegar is just like vinegar vinegar only even more so than that
posted by ook at 2:00 PM on June 8, 2013

Xinegar sounds like a character in Lord of the Rings.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:00 PM on June 8, 2013

Yinegar is the dark force opposing and balancing all yangegars
posted by ook at 2:01 PM on June 8, 2013

Zinegar is what I wound up with last time I left a bottle of zinfandel uncorked overnight.
posted by ook at 2:02 PM on June 8, 2013

And thank you all for tolerating me while I got that out of my system.
posted by ook at 2:02 PM on June 8, 2013

Because it's not easy to purge 26 kinds of vinegar...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:37 PM on June 8, 2013

clear the decks... I have something to say that'll take a few letters
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:48 PM on June 8, 2013

D&D webcomics... been getting into them lately even though I've never been into the games.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:49 PM on June 8, 2013

Elaborately drawn (by online acquaintance Lar DeSouza) but oddly written (by some other dude) Looking for Group
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:49 PM on June 8, 2013

Fundamentally simple yet complexOrder of the Stick
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:50 PM on June 8, 2013

Goblins (needs no adjective to fit into the alphabethread)
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:50 PM on June 8, 2013

However, now I've been directed to a True Dungeon Game Headtrip: Lars Brown's Penultimate Quest
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:51 PM on June 8, 2013

It's (SPOILER) an existential look at the Afterlife as an Adventure Game with perpetual resets. To some, it is Hell, to others (and I quote) "Valhalla".
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:52 PM on June 8, 2013

Just got done building the frame for my sun porch daybed! Tomorrow mattress and accessories, and then the sleeping (almost) out-of-doors shall commence.
posted by donnagirl at 3:28 PM on June 8, 2013

Knowing what I know now, I
posted by y2karl at 5:14 PM on June 8, 2013

Like to think that I would not have done that thing that I did. You know, the one that I can't bring my self to talk about right now. I think you
posted by dg at 5:25 PM on June 8, 2013

might want to back away quietly before I
posted by pianissimo at 5:49 PM on June 8, 2013

No Math Puns
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:01 PM on June 8, 2013

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.... 5900!
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:01 PM on June 8, 2013

Perhaps the second sine of going crazy is thinking of every number in terms of alphabet cycles (100 is less than 4 rounds! C'mon people!)
posted by pianissimo at 6:17 PM on June 8, 2013

Quadrilaterals can be so unhip, that they're real squares.
posted by pianissimo at 6:21 PM on June 8, 2013

Random numbers can be really important and shouldn't be left to chance.
posted by pianissimo at 6:27 PM on June 8, 2013

Real squares can be more fun than trapezoids...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:28 PM on June 8, 2013

Sum of us like to ignore instructions for no maths puns :)
posted by pianissimo at 6:29 PM on June 8, 2013

Trapezoidberg
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:31 PM on June 8, 2013

Unless you can stop me...
posted by pianissimo at 6:34 PM on June 8, 2013

vector-y is mine!
posted by pianissimo at 6:35 PM on June 8, 2013

Vogon Poetry from old HHGG/BBC website; don't know if it still works; scared to try.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:35 PM on June 8, 2013

whoopsy...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:35 PM on June 8, 2013

xxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxx
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:38 PM on June 8, 2013

y = f(x)
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:41 PM on June 8, 2013

Zut alors!
posted by y2karl at 6:42 PM on June 8, 2013

Apres moi, le dilute
posted by y2karl at 6:44 PM on June 8, 2013

Buenos dios, as they say on MeFi.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:48 PM on June 8, 2013

cerebral cortex needed here...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:49 PM on June 8, 2013

Drinkie Die is my favorite MetaPony...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:50 PM on June 8, 2013

Everybody Loves It's Raining Florence Henderson

(I, for one, am glad to see him back and welcome our '70sTV reference overlords)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:51 PM on June 8, 2013

filthy light thief used to live in my town, then he moved to Albequerque (okay, let's not revisit THAT topic)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:53 PM on June 8, 2013

gotta keep up the 'MeFites Names' theme for 3 reasons: quonsar, XQUZYPHYR, zarq...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:57 PM on June 8, 2013

hama7 rules, to paraphrase Thomas Friedman...
posted by y2karl at 7:01 PM on June 8, 2013

iconomy uber alles
posted by y2karl at 7:06 PM on June 8, 2013

jacalata shakin' goin' on...
posted by y2karl at 7:07 PM on June 8, 2013

kthxbi
posted by y2karl at 7:07 PM on June 8, 2013

Lovecraft in Brooklyn, because Cthulhu was the Original Hipstah...
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:25 PM on June 8, 2013

M, people, come on, M!

Somebody?
Anybody?
Bueller?

okay, then...

mathowie, because sometimes, algebra HURTS.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:44 PM on June 8, 2013

nobodyyouknow
posted by y2karl at 8:10 PM on June 8, 2013

One of my friends last night said that Kentucky was the anti-Albuquerque, in that he knew lots of people from Kentucky but no one who had moved there, and that he knew lots of people who moved to Albuquerque but no one who was born there.
posted by box at 8:15 PM on June 8, 2013

Oneswellfoop of your friends, you mean... mefi names, you know
posted by y2karl at 8:22 PM on June 8, 2013

Perhaps something like the ex-girlfriend who told me she was from Minneapolis, and I commented that everybody was FROM Minneapolis (including the Los Angeles Lakers) but nobody really lived there. I conjectured that the city was a fiction invented by the writers of the Mary Tyler Moore Show (one of whom had worked on Bullwinkle and had experience with 'Frostbite Falls') and was managed most of these years by Garrison Keillor (see, the ultimate double-switch - Lake Wobegon is real, Minneapolis/St. Paul is not). She left me soon after.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:24 PM on June 8, 2013

quonsar
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:24 PM on June 8, 2013

rocketman might suggest that 'Prostyle something or other like the ex-girlfriend,' Mr. Gotta Keep up the 'MeFites Names' theme...
posted by y2karl at 8:32 PM on June 8, 2013

scody is awesome
posted by donnagirl at 8:35 PM on June 8, 2013

Tarrama is from Tasmania, if I recall correctly
posted by y2karl at 8:37 PM on June 8, 2013

Urbanwhaleshark and I have a pal that moved to MPLS on purpose. One of the best bicycling cities in the US, it is. And the libraries have cake pans.
posted by box at 8:44 PM on June 8, 2013

Vacapintallating I am, Yoda says
posted by y2karl at 8:48 PM on June 8, 2013

Wulfgar! wrongbutton! wendell!
posted by y2karl at 8:50 PM on June 8, 2013

(well, I had no justification making fun of Minneapolis anyway, since my family brought me out to L.A. from CLEVELAND when I was five)
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:50 PM on June 8, 2013

xmutex knows what's up--Cleveland is the most underrated big city in the US.
posted by box at 8:59 PM on June 8, 2013

youcancallmeal told me she daydreams about moving there someday.
posted by box at 9:02 PM on June 8, 2013

zarq may not know more about Michael Douglas' cancer than Michael Douglas, but he knows a hell of a lot more than anyone who got their only information from Michael Douglas.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:22 PM on June 8, 2013

A Tweet of a Vine of an Instagram of a Tumblr Post of a Facebook Post of a Tweet

Let's get into Social Media! Or at least ridiculing Social Media! Is PRISM watching us?
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:50 PM on June 8, 2013

Beta.

The Alphabethread is still in Beta.

That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:55 PM on June 8, 2013

Carotene is the only kind of beta that I like.
posted by pianissimo at 11:10 PM on June 8, 2013

Digg it!
posted by pianissimo at 11:16 PM on June 8, 2013

Evernote... it has to be in here somewhere...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:46 PM on June 8, 2013

Each thread has its own identity, but some threads are unique.

Looking through Wikipedia's List of Controversial Issues I'm struck by how overwhelming politics, religion, and sex dominate our communal dialogue.

Where is the fun? Where is the silliness? Where is the appreciation that we are all experiencing lives in a largely unknowable cosmos?
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:46 PM on June 8, 2013

Fast forwarding 2000 comments, and trying to look back on it all, I would say that it's been a success. If Metafilter is an excuse to talk about anything, to over-analyze a plate of beans, then talking nonsense for a month proves that consciousness, even without an object, is worth sharing.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:53 PM on June 8, 2013

Golly, is this consciousness? Was I supposed to make my comments while conscious?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:56 PM on June 8, 2013

Going forward, I hope to back out of this during the next few days to make way for others.

The best way to finish this thing is to have everybody finish it. Everybody has to play. I don't want to crowd everybody out.

So I'm not going to comment unless things have slowed to a crawl.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:57 PM on June 8, 2013

Here we go!

Advertising blitz!

Thank you, everybody who worked so tirelessly to make this happen...

We're going for the record!
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:58 PM on June 8, 2013

Is this the real life or is this just Fanta Sea?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:59 PM on June 8, 2013

J
posted by mazola at 12:41 AM on June 9, 2013

K
posted by mazola at 12:41 AM on June 9, 2013

Just a first try. The Mods don't like advertising blitzes. But that was just a first try.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:41 AM on June 9, 2013

Just Santa Fe.
posted by Namlit at 12:41 AM on June 9, 2013

L
posted by mazola at 12:41 AM on June 9, 2013

M
posted by mazola at 12:42 AM on June 9, 2013

N
posted by mazola at 12:42 AM on June 9, 2013

O
posted by mazola at 12:42 AM on June 9, 2013

P
posted by mazola at 12:42 AM on June 9, 2013

oh no you don't
posted by Namlit at 12:43 AM on June 9, 2013

Q
posted by mazola at 12:43 AM on June 9, 2013

RATS!!!! BIG FUCKING RATS WITH COCKS THIS FUCKING LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by mazola at 12:43 AM on June 9, 2013

This thread is the second longest in Metafilter history. One week to go...
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:45 AM on June 9, 2013

Something tells me that everyone is drunk or sleeping
posted by Namlit at 12:46 AM on June 9, 2013

The fact is, I'm not sleeping.
posted by mazola at 12:47 AM on June 9, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, I am either drunk or asleep.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:48 AM on June 9, 2013

Very hard to tell...
posted by mazola at 12:50 AM on June 9, 2013

When I wake up in the middle of the night and can't find my way back to my bed, and then I notice that I'm already in bed, then I realize that I shouldn't have gone to bed drunk.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:51 AM on June 9, 2013

almost 6000 comments about mostly nothing, and not a single Beefheart. y'all should be ashamed.
posted by philip-random at 12:55 AM on June 9, 2013

x, you forgot the x
posted by Namlit at 12:57 AM on June 9, 2013

Xackly! Drink in the morning
posted by Cranberry at 12:57 AM on June 9, 2013

<blink>XXX</blink>

OUT OF ORDER!
posted by mazola at 12:58 AM on June 9, 2013

Beefheart: your favorite band sucks
posted by double block and bleed at 12:58 AM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]

y does this always happen
posted by Namlit at 12:58 AM on June 9, 2013

z-because we're all drunk
posted by mazola at 12:59 AM on June 9, 2013

Aw, some people are no fun
posted by Cranberry at 12:59 AM on June 9, 2013

~~Am I the only one here drinking cooking sherry?~~
posted by mazola at 12:59 AM on June 9, 2013

Beefheart? What about CHICKENHEART
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:00 AM on June 9, 2013

zabaglione
posted by Namlit at 1:00 AM on June 9, 2013

Can we expect at least 13 duplicate drunken Ds?
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:01 AM on June 9, 2013

Cooking sherry all gone over here. Wonder how.
posted by Namlit at 1:01 AM on June 9, 2013

What fucking letter are we supposed to be on?!
posted by double block and bleed at 1:01 AM on June 9, 2013

~~Could not determine if 'z-because' was a real word, so I went with it anyways.~~
posted by mazola at 1:01 AM on June 9, 2013

Do you need an alphabet in front of you?
posted by Cranberry at 1:02 AM on June 9, 2013

Everybody favourite this comment.
posted by mazola at 1:03 AM on June 9, 2013

For reals.
posted by mazola at 1:04 AM on June 9, 2013

Good grief
posted by Cranberry at 1:04 AM on June 9, 2013

Favorite denied: illegal use of "u".
posted by double block and bleed at 1:05 AM on June 9, 2013

Have to go to sleep now. Nighty
posted by Cranberry at 1:05 AM on June 9, 2013

I can do this all night because I HAVE NO LIFE
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:06 AM on June 9, 2013

Just can't keep up on an iPad.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:08 AM on June 9, 2013

'k thx bye!
posted by mazola at 1:09 AM on June 9, 2013

Longest Threads? Let's get recursive!
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:11 AM on June 9, 2013

Malkovich!
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:11 AM on June 9, 2013

~~MOFB.~~
posted by mazola at 1:11 AM on June 9, 2013

Never fear, h00py's here!
posted by h00py at 1:12 AM on June 9, 2013

Oh no!
posted by mazola at 1:13 AM on June 9, 2013

Phineas & Ferb & Iron Man & Spider-Man?

I thought Disney would do a Marvel/Muppets crossover first, dammit.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:13 AM on June 9, 2013

Please, fans, form an orderly queue.
posted by h00py at 1:14 AM on June 9, 2013

Quack quack, see that? A duck, a carrot and a lawnmower walk into a bar.
posted by h00py at 1:17 AM on June 9, 2013

redo: queue you.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:17 AM on June 9, 2013

Spam After The Apocalypse

You didn't think world devastation would end THAT, did ya?
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:19 AM on June 9, 2013

Terribly Rude! Never mind, I'm outta here until later.
posted by h00py at 1:19 AM on June 9, 2013

They say...
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:20 AM on June 9, 2013

Unless I'm confused, the next letter is...
posted by mazola at 1:24 AM on June 9, 2013

V. Which is "five" in Roman numerals. When you hold out your hand, thumb extended, it makes a V shape, which is the probable origin of the ideogram.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:26 AM on June 9, 2013

W. That's a pair of hands with thumbs extended.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:27 AM on June 9, 2013

X. That's your hands. Crossed.
posted by mazola at 1:28 AM on June 9, 2013

X. The Roman numeral for 10. Two hands joined together.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:28 AM on June 9, 2013

Y? Because we LIKE you (just not that much).
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:29 AM on June 9, 2013

Zat's what Mickey Mouse sez!
posted by mazola at 1:31 AM on June 9, 2013

Z is a Roman numeral. It stands for 22,187.

One of the little quirks of Roman symbol numerology that most people would rather not discuss.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:32 AM on June 9, 2013

Are you pondering...
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:33 AM on June 9, 2013

A is for Alphabet...
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:33 AM on June 9, 2013

B is for Banana...
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:34 AM on June 9, 2013

C is for cookie, that good enough for me.
posted by tservo at 1:39 AM on June 9, 2013

C is for Complete Series 60% off!
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:39 AM on June 9, 2013

D is for Donut (or Doughnut, in some regions outside Springfield)
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:40 AM on June 9, 2013

C is for "constant".

No, really, in the standard form of a quadratic equation, that is, an equation of the form ax²+bx+c=0, the C term represents a constant.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:40 AM on June 9, 2013

Ergonomic Donuts was the name of the band I had in college.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:42 AM on June 9, 2013

F is not a good grade
posted by tservo at 1:43 AM on June 9, 2013

F is for Funk! (Insert funkiest song you know into soundtrack here...)
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:43 AM on June 9, 2013

G doesn't always go with Whiz.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:44 AM on June 9, 2013

G is a good grade, because G stands for "Good".
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:44 AM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]

Hey... make my flunk a P-flunk!
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:45 AM on June 9, 2013

I is for Idontknow, he's on Third Base!
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:46 AM on June 9, 2013

J has a second job catching fish.
posted by tservo at 1:48 AM on June 9, 2013

Kinetic energy can be transformed into potential energy, but it usually takes five to fourteen days, depending on how the paperwork is processed.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:24 AM on June 9, 2013

Let's think up a catchy name for the cool people on this alphabet thread.

Alpha-be-fites?
posted by pianissimo at 2:26 AM on June 9, 2013

Metabolites.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:28 AM on June 9, 2013

No, I just think of us as Threadstretchers.

I think Mason Williams has a Threadstretcher song... or should
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:33 AM on June 9, 2013

Oh, I thought a threadstretcher was something nsf oh whatever.
posted by Namlit at 2:34 AM on June 9, 2013

Pyrites. I always participate in "Talk Like a Pyrite" day.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:39 AM on June 9, 2013

Quite.
posted by Wordshore at 2:48 AM on June 9, 2013

Right, I just need to tell this. The Swedish traffic department thingy whatever you call it has decided after a huge storm ten years ago that all tall trees 20 meters/65feet on each side of the main train lines need to be taken down to protect the electric wires. As a result, chain saw rampage has been going on along this line during the entire winter. They first took the parts that they or the cities own. The resulting carnage must be visible from space.
And now there's this bunch of English specialty workers, who go from one private ground to the next and take down everything, the tallest trees: little orange monkeys with chain saws at their belts climbing around the tops in the most swaying fashion imaginable right opposite our balcony on the other side of the line. And for some freak reason they only work on off-days: last Friday (Swedish national day), yesterday (a Saturday) and today (a Sunday).
Everyone who lives here rejoices: quote unquote finally we get a view (onto some rickety corrugated metal sheds in the valley, a few private homes, and a schoolyard, yeah).
Swedes seem to hate trees. I fled the more southern parts of northern Europe because I love trees. It's just not fair.
(When they come to me, and take down the big oak and the birch, I'll have firewood for two years, however). Still, here I sit on a fucking Sunday, enjoying the singsong of four chainsaws less than 30 meter across where I'd like to sit and relax, doing something I intensely hate them doing. No wonder the cooking Sherry is gone.
posted by Namlit at 2:48 AM on June 9, 2013

Sooo, alphabet thread is maybe what helps me keep my last bit of sanity. Go figure.
posted by Namlit at 2:51 AM on June 9, 2013

Tried to get up the courage to participate in this thread when it was first up, but was too shy. Here I come now - have I done it right?
posted by daisyk at 2:58 AM on June 9, 2013

Uh-oh. I think I drove everyone away. :(
posted by daisyk at 3:03 AM on June 9, 2013

Ve is only having a coffee break
posted by Namlit at 3:05 AM on June 9, 2013

Wonderful. I'll just finish up my coffee too, then.
posted by daisyk at 3:08 AM on June 9, 2013

X marks the spot. The coffee spot, among others. Hope you brought enough for everyone.
posted by dg at 3:27 AM on June 9, 2013

Yikes, preview is pretty much off the menu after 6,000 comments, I guess.
posted by dg at 3:27 AM on June 9, 2013

Zeno's Paradox seems relevant here: the more coffee I bring, the more people come along to drink it with us. I can never catch up!
posted by daisyk at 3:32 AM on June 9, 2013

All you need to do is calculate the possible number of coffee-drinkers, then bring twice as much, surely?
posted by dg at 3:35 AM on June 9, 2013

But that won't work.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:37 AM on June 9, 2013

Balls - I've been doing it the wrong way all this time. Thanks for the tip, anyway!
posted by daisyk at 3:38 AM on June 9, 2013

Blast.
posted by daisyk at 3:38 AM on June 9, 2013

'Cos there is no such thing as 'too much coffee'. Twice infinity still = infinity.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:39 AM on June 9, 2013

Defining one's terms before starting on a solution is once again proved important.
posted by daisyk at 3:41 AM on June 9, 2013

Except that this is MeFi, not the universe - there is not an infinite number of coffee drinkers. Anyway, most of them seem to drink tea and/or beer.
posted by dg at 3:43 AM on June 9, 2013

Fuck that, it's not about whether there are infinite drinkers. Even if there was only one, the coffee required would still be infinite. MOAR COFFEE.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:45 AM on June 9, 2013

Granted, I would have to be the one coffee drinker.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:46 AM on June 9, 2013

How are you going to drink infinite coffee? You would have to live forever and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
posted by dg at 3:47 AM on June 9, 2013

If you have infinite coffee, it's probably not so bad.
posted by daisyk at 3:48 AM on June 9, 2013

Just tolerable, I'll accept. 'Not so bad'? Not so much.
posted by dg at 3:49 AM on June 9, 2013

Kava, not java is where it's at.
posted by pianissimo at 4:22 AM on June 9, 2013

Laughable really when you consider there really is an awful lot of coffee in Brazil.
posted by adamvasco at 4:26 AM on June 9, 2013

My post-lunch tipple today is the end of a bottle of watermelon liqueur that was taking up too much space in the fridge. Delicious, but I would really rather coffee in general. I've not tried kava but it sounds intriguing. How's the taste?
posted by daisyk at 4:30 AM on June 9, 2013

Nasty. Like a sock strained through mud.

No, I didn't mean that the other way around.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:39 AM on June 9, 2013

on topic, has anyone seen infini and his peppermint tea?
posted by Namlit at 4:49 AM on June 9, 2013

POh, just saw twoleftfeet's attempt at drumming up support for this quest on MeTa. That explains the new fools. While we've pretty easily made #2, #1 is about 2k comments away. In about 6 days. Need to increase the boost if we've any chance. Everyone knows that #2 is the first of the losers.

BTW, infini is a she.
posted by dg at 4:50 AM on June 9, 2013

Quite so. Stoopid keyboard, it swallows 's'es.
posted by Namlit at 4:53 AM on June 9, 2013

rather good excuse isn't it!
posted by Namlit at 4:54 AM on June 9, 2013

S omehow untrue too
posted by Namlit at 4:54 AM on June 9, 2013

Silly slow typing, grr.

Quest accepted, dg! I'm trying to get SWrites to join the thread as well. I've already demonstrated the power of Ask to her, but apparently she's wary of spending more time here because it's a huge timesink.
posted by daisyk at 4:54 AM on June 9, 2013

Time sinks are what we're living for
posted by Namlit at 4:56 AM on June 9, 2013

Unfortunately true at times, while Unemployed.
posted by daisyk at 4:57 AM on June 9, 2013

infini she lets others be
as long as they eat wasabi

on java we rant
and roll

suntrue
is lit

needs another hit
my shit your shit
don't stink

so the silicon janitors
should be happy to clean it
posted by mareli at 4:58 AM on June 9, 2013

I forgot the penguins.
posted by mareli at 5:02 AM on June 9, 2013

Very confusing.
posted by Namlit at 5:18 AM on June 9, 2013

Wasabi tea! I'll make millions!
posted by daisyk at 5:19 AM on June 9, 2013

Xoffie is better. Let's be serious.
posted by Namlit at 5:20 AM on June 9, 2013

Your extra coffee. Brought to you by the MeFi alpha-thread.
posted by Namlit at 5:20 AM on June 9, 2013

Zaviours of the ZZZed, that's how we'll be hailed.
posted by daisyk at 5:24 AM on June 9, 2013

All I know is that I have know idea what is going on in here.
posted by Apoch at 5:29 AM on June 9, 2013

Bravo!
posted by oulipian at 5:29 AM on June 9, 2013

Crudely put we're trying to keep postings in order while the re-load time after posting tends to throw spanners into the works. Logic ain't to be had here any longer. Coffee, perhaps, if there's any left.
posted by Namlit at 5:35 AM on June 9, 2013

Did I just try to explain how an alphabet thread works? Ouch.
posted by Namlit at 5:36 AM on June 9, 2013

Elbows and armholes, I muttered to myself.
posted by jenkinsEar at 5:44 AM on June 9, 2013

Everyone has these moments sometimes, Namlit. It's all right. *pours you more coffee*
posted by daisyk at 5:44 AM on June 9, 2013

For Apoch, I only have praise. Admitting you're confused is the first step towards ... something? I've only ever got that far myself.
posted by daisyk at 5:45 AM on June 9, 2013

.gif makes me feel old.
posted by box at 6:02 AM on June 9, 2013

Here is where I've found myself, and I'm not sure why.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:09 AM on June 9, 2013

I've lost track of myself
under the chair
I've looked for myself
I'm not sure where

I'm not sure why
I'm not sure how
I found myself back
In the mad-letter show
posted by Namlit at 6:25 AM on June 9, 2013

Just add the notes in your head. Some notes. I'm not sure which ones.
posted by Namlit at 6:26 AM on June 9, 2013

Krap.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:27 AM on June 9, 2013

LOL. Must anticipate much here.
posted by Namlit at 6:28 AM on June 9, 2013

Mo edit window allowed
posted by Namlit at 6:29 AM on June 9, 2013

Nope... Mo' edit window, mo' problems.
posted by daisyk at 6:32 AM on June 9, 2013

Over time you may come to accept the joys of the edit window.
posted by solarion at 6:35 AM on June 9, 2013

Perhaps - but isn't it just giving in? [not edit-window-ist]
posted by daisyk at 6:45 AM on June 9, 2013

Quitting is the only thing that counts as giving in.
posted by ook at 6:49 AM on June 9, 2013

Roger that.
posted by h00py at 6:53 AM on June 9, 2013

So, I always wanted to participate in one of these. I just hope I'm doing it right.
posted by agentofselection at 7:05 AM on June 9, 2013

Terribly well done. Jolly good show.
posted by h00py at 7:08 AM on June 9, 2013

Unless I'm horribly wrong, you seem to be doing just fine!
posted by daisyk at 7:09 AM on June 9, 2013

Very good!
posted by SLC Mom at 7:09 AM on June 9, 2013

Why is the problem mine and not hers? I simply gave her the rifle. It wasn't even loaded.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:21 AM on June 9, 2013

In before the... oh.
posted by The Michael The at 7:23 AM on June 9, 2013

Xylotherapy should clear that up.
posted by h00py at 7:28 AM on June 9, 2013

Y a toujours pas de soleil sur la Côte. En a marre.
posted by fraula at 7:45 AM on June 9, 2013

Zounds!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:46 AM on June 9, 2013

And to think I almost missed this opportunity to be part of this!
posted by scrute at 7:47 AM on June 9, 2013

Better lives will we all lead, after this.
posted by daisyk at 7:49 AM on June 9, 2013

Can't see how. I already lead a better life. The woodworkers with their angry chainsaws got rained upon, and how. Much joy was had.
posted by Namlit at 7:59 AM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]

Damn... Just under the wire!
posted by ChrisR at 8:01 AM on June 9, 2013

Elderberry wine!
posted by flabdablet at 8:02 AM on June 9, 2013

Fantastic!
posted by ChrisR at 8:06 AM on June 9, 2013

Gosh.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:09 AM on June 9, 2013

Holla!
posted by zombieflanders at 8:11 AM on June 9, 2013

Inconceivable!
posted by Namlit at 8:12 AM on June 9, 2013

JACKSON FIVE TIME
posted by mintcake! at 8:13 AM on June 9, 2013

Kill it before it grows!
posted by MFZ at 8:19 AM on June 9, 2013

Last time I did that was with dandelions. And that's documented upthread (weeks ago. Can't believe it...)
posted by Namlit at 8:22 AM on June 9, 2013

Maybe you should point out where, Namlit.
posted by ambient2 at 8:25 AM on June 9, 2013

NKOTB forever!
(I'm unapologetically going to see The Package tour next week.)
posted by kimberussell at 8:26 AM on June 9, 2013

Oh my, new people. Have I missed introductions?
posted by donnagirl at 8:44 AM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]

PERMABAN
every.
single.
one.
of.
you!
posted by edgeways at 9:06 AM on June 9, 2013

Really, this is still here?
posted by From Bklyn at 9:12 AM on June 9, 2013

What's the difference between a cemita and a torta? Both are delicious, both are sandwiches. Confused.
posted by bunderful at 9:19 AM on June 9, 2013

Quit skipping letters everybody
posted by en forme de poire at 9:27 AM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]

So what letter are we on?
posted by calgirl at 9:32 AM on June 9, 2013

This one!
posted by carsonb at 9:33 AM on June 9, 2013

Understood nothing. Until now.
posted by bunderful at 9:38 AM on June 9, 2013

Some hate broccoli,
Some Hate Bacon,
But I hate
Having my picture Taken.

How could your family
Claim to love you.
and then demand
A picture of you?

Discuss.
posted by pjern at 10:03 AM on June 9, 2013

Very much out of sync.
posted by calgirl at 10:11 AM on June 9, 2013

Watch me pull a wabbit out of this sink.
posted by ook at 10:15 AM on June 9, 2013

Xenogamy isn't something you learn doing over a weekend. Just sayin'.
posted by Namlit at 10:23 AM on June 9, 2013

Arriving at another start, I would suggest rhubarb recipes, and if it's only because we're swamped in the stuff and know nothing to do with it.
posted by Namlit at 10:25 AM on June 9, 2013

But, of course, if that's too sour for some people, no rhubarb is fine, too.
posted by Namlit at 10:26 AM on June 9, 2013

Can give it to the slugs instead. There are sooo many slugs out there. Anyone a good slug recipe? Like a cocktail or something?
posted by Namlit at 10:26 AM on June 9, 2013

Deliver rhubarb to neighbor's doorstep, under cover of darkness. Serves 12.
posted by ook at 10:27 AM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]

Your rhubarb may be sour, but your alphabet is too short!
posted by daisyk at 10:28 AM on June 9, 2013

Ze last two letters vere missink.
posted by daisyk at 10:28 AM on June 9, 2013

Evidently, the Y was used as a funnel so I had to do without it for a while. Thanks for helping out.
posted by Namlit at 10:29 AM on June 9, 2013

Finding the Z a problematic letter over here.
posted by Namlit at 10:30 AM on June 9, 2013

Get some berries--rasp, straw, black, blue, boysen, lingon, whatever--and then use the rhubarb and the berries to make a pie.
posted by box at 10:31 AM on June 9, 2013

Haven't you heard, Winston: there have always been twenty-four letters in the alphabet.
posted by ook at 10:32 AM on June 9, 2013

I use letters more free form. Like rhubarb.
posted by Namlit at 10:34 AM on June 9, 2013

Just peel the stalks, dip 'em in sugar and eat them raw. That's what my SO used to do as a kid. So far I've resisted all his offers to try it out. *shudder*
posted by daisyk at 10:35 AM on June 9, 2013

Kind of have to go now and work on some extracurricular projects with my fella (of the "writing an HTML5 video game" type, not the, er, other type), but I'll be back! Enjoy your peeled and sugary slugs, words and rhubarbs, folks.
posted by daisyk at 10:45 AM on June 9, 2013

Kool G. Rap once told me that rhubarb can be used to make wine.
posted by box at 10:46 AM on June 9, 2013

Haven't you heard, Winston: there have always been twenty-four letters in the alphabet.

THERE...ARE...FOUR...LIGHTS
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:54 AM on June 9, 2013

Luckily, strawberry-rhubarb crumble is delicious.
posted by bunderful at 10:59 AM on June 9, 2013

Maybe a bit out of place, but gotta love the TNG reference!
posted by scrute at 11:27 AM on June 9, 2013

Not seeing the reference, me. Unless you mean the infamous Wesley Meets His Rhubarb episode. That darn holodeck, such a font of surprises...
posted by ook at 11:45 AM on June 9, 2013

Ooooooh, that reference. I had somehow transposed the four lights into Room 101 in my memory.
posted by ook at 11:46 AM on June 9, 2013

Phew. So happy to be back here. It's like hell over there. We ate the rhubarb with a healthy drizzle of honey and butter and baked in the oven (not we, obviously).
posted by Namlit at 11:48 AM on June 9, 2013

Quite the trick if it was you that was baking in the oven. Although perhaps not if you were just getting baked (sans oven).
posted by scrute at 12:17 PM on June 9, 2013

Rhubarb with strawberries is best pie.
posted by en forme de poire at 1:16 PM on June 9, 2013

Strawberries are even better with chocolate and without rhubarb.
posted by jeather at 1:32 PM on June 9, 2013

Those Valentine's-Day chocolate-dipped strawberries, man, I don't know.
posted by box at 1:35 PM on June 9, 2013

Us Irish love a good rhubarb crumble.
posted by billiebee at 1:38 PM on June 9, 2013

Very berry good!
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:48 PM on June 9, 2013

Well, if you want to see a good rhubarb, check out that other thread I recently commented in (with a link to here, I'm NOT linking to there)
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:50 PM on June 9, 2013

Xhat the heck is going on here?
posted by dubold at 1:53 PM on June 9, 2013

Xenothreadophobic I am not, but your decision not to link is a good one. This place is wonderful, I'm so glad I joined in here.
posted by daisyk at 1:54 PM on June 9, 2013

Zeal can certainly be tiresome when misdirected. This is much sweeter. Unlike rhubarb.
posted by billiebee at 1:58 PM on June 9, 2013

Y'know, I wonder if this alphabetry is making me unhelpfully terse. By this place, I meant this thread, as opposed to the other one, which I wouldn't want to set foot in at this point.

It's not a dessert, but we made really nice stuffed cabbage leaves for dinner last night. That's sort of like a pie, right?
posted by daisyk at 1:58 PM on June 9, 2013

Ach no, I messed it up!
posted by billiebee at 1:59 PM on June 9, 2013

Bestill yourself billiebee, I think we compensated for one another.
posted by daisyk at 2:00 PM on June 9, 2013

Cute, oneswell. And why would one even comment over there any more when there's talk about chocolate over here? Hmmm?
posted by Namlit at 2:03 PM on June 9, 2013

Drop the rhubarb, go chocolate instead.
posted by Namlit at 2:04 PM on June 9, 2013

Dear Mefites, good night, and sleep well! (When it is night for you, and when you do sleep.) (Considers and decides against editing that to "Ear Mefites...")
posted by daisyk at 2:04 PM on June 9, 2013

Entities lurk here in the grey that don't sleep. Actor-network theory à la Metatalk.
posted by Namlit at 2:06 PM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]

Farewell, daisyk. I too must leave, for there is a large gin calling my name.
posted by billiebee at 2:18 PM on June 9, 2013

Goodbye for now, daisy & billie, I shall remain here, steadfast... well, maybe stead-kinda-slow...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:29 PM on June 9, 2013

HOOGALABOOGALA HOO HOO FA GOOOO
posted by ook at 2:30 PM on June 9, 2013

(I couldn't resist, it was getting all "g'night john-boy" in here)
posted by ook at 2:32 PM on June 9, 2013

Just say goodnight, Graceless, I mean Gracie...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:37 PM on June 9, 2013

Keeping on topic and on an even flow is very... BOOMSHAKALAKALAKABINGBANGBOOM

dangit
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:38 PM on June 9, 2013

Looks like the latest MetaTalk shitfest has finally been closed, so now we can get back to work! Hopefully heavily reinforced.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 2:50 PM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]

My afternoon has been spend watching season 1 of Game of Thrones. I'm getting good at anticipating the violence and looking away. Crazy Lannisters.
posted by bunderful at 2:58 PM on June 9, 2013

No, I'm sticking to Venture Brothers for my video insanity. At least they are intentionally funny.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:10 PM on June 9, 2013

Oh man what a relief that that thread is over and closed. Skål!
posted by Namlit at 3:17 PM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]

Prosit! *burps lightly...*
posted by Namlit at 3:18 PM on June 9, 2013

Quickly...
posted by Wordshore at 3:34 PM on June 9, 2013

R U a Brummie? If so, there's a FPP just for you...
posted by Wordshore at 3:34 PM on June 9, 2013

Salud! Slainte!
posted by box at 4:12 PM on June 9, 2013

Yeah, the four lights thing was actually more of a reaction to what was happening in "the thread that dare not speak its name." Thankfully, that's over now, and I've just cut up some nice fresh Niagara strawberries and put them in Ontario maple syrup. They shall accompany my breakfast tomorrow.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:18 PM on June 9, 2013

The alphabet!!!!
posted by dg at 4:24 PM on June 9, 2013

Loosely organized nonsense?
posted by scratch at 4:25 PM on June 9, 2013

To the alphabet! (clinks glasses)
posted by box at 4:35 PM on June 9, 2013

Unorganized nonsense is not uncommon.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:37 PM on June 9, 2013

Very well-organized nonsense is a special and rare talent.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:38 PM on June 9, 2013

We're under 2000 comments away from the record. I wouldn't call it the "home stretch", but we are the Threadstretchers, are we not?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:39 PM on June 9, 2013

X marks the spot.

See spot run.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:40 PM on June 9, 2013

'You Can't Play With My Yo Yo'
posted by box at 4:53 PM on June 9, 2013

Zilla Rocca did a decent cover, but I prefer the OG 'Devil's Pie.'
posted by box at 4:56 PM on June 9, 2013

'Act a Fool'
posted by box at 4:58 PM on June 9, 2013

'Burn Hollywood Burn'
posted by box at 4:59 PM on June 9, 2013

'Check the Rhime'
posted by box at 5:02 PM on June 9, 2013

'DWYCK'
posted by box at 5:03 PM on June 9, 2013

'Ego Trippin (Part II)'
posted by box at 5:05 PM on June 9, 2013

Fete, Le
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:06 PM on June 9, 2013

'Gas Face, The'
posted by box at 5:08 PM on June 9, 2013

'Hood Took Me Under'
posted by box at 5:10 PM on June 9, 2013

Happenstance (One of Many Parts)
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:10 PM on June 9, 2013

'It's Funky Enough'
posted by box at 5:13 PM on June 9, 2013

'Jackin for Beats'
posted by box at 5:14 PM on June 9, 2013

'Know the Ledge' (Yeah, yeah, I know, but keep your eye on the sparrow)
posted by box at 5:17 PM on June 9, 2013

'Let's Talk About Sex'
posted by box at 5:18 PM on June 9, 2013

'Macs and Dons'
posted by box at 5:19 PM on June 9, 2013

Nerd Life
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:21 PM on June 9, 2013

oh, yeah, I went there...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:21 PM on June 9, 2013

Oh!
posted by h00py at 5:22 PM on June 9, 2013

Pop Musick
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:26 PM on June 9, 2013

qualitatively superior video for the previous song
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:27 PM on June 9, 2013

'Rock the Bells'
posted by box at 6:27 PM on June 9, 2013

Sex Dwarf
posted by Curious Artificer at 6:32 PM on June 9, 2013

Them
posted by h00py at 6:35 PM on June 9, 2013

U Can't Touch This
posted by peeedro at 6:36 PM on June 9, 2013

Victoria
posted by h00py at 6:42 PM on June 9, 2013

Wordplay
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:02 PM on June 9, 2013

XTC vs Adam Ant
posted by h00py at 7:09 PM on June 9, 2013

They give you a free speech zone, and this is what you do with it?
posted by tyllwin at 7:25 PM on June 9, 2013

Yeah. (Oh yeah.)
posted by mintcake! at 7:26 PM on June 9, 2013

Zone
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:45 PM on June 9, 2013

Z is always the letter that stumps everyone, so here's a free pass.
posted by dg at 7:45 PM on June 9, 2013

Aw, you could've saved that free pass for the next cycle...
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:54 PM on June 9, 2013

But the quest had stalled! All that time and we both posted at the same time? What a waste.
posted by dg at 7:58 PM on June 9, 2013

'course there is no waste here - every comment counts, so it's all good.
posted by dg at 8:04 PM on June 9, 2013

Does anyone read the comments down here?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:08 PM on June 9, 2013 [2 favorites]

Everyone does, on this thread.
posted by dg at 8:09 PM on June 9, 2013

For sure, I just wanted to be in on the record.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:13 PM on June 9, 2013

What she said.
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 8:15 PM on June 9, 2013

Good, so we're all agreed on going for the record.
posted by donnagirl at 8:16 PM on June 9, 2013

Hells bells... I wasn't following the alphabetical trend.
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 8:20 PM on June 9, 2013

I think we're on a 33-strikes basis for punishing Alpha Infractions, so don't do it 32 more times.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:22 PM on June 9, 2013

Just Say...
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:22 PM on June 9, 2013

...Know
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:23 PM on June 9, 2013

Let's not and say we did...
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:23 PM on June 9, 2013

Me agrees with that strategy.
posted by dg at 8:30 PM on June 9, 2013

nipple.es

nsfwhatever
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:30 PM on June 9, 2013

Oh, not suggesting that I have a vote, though.
posted by dg at 8:31 PM on June 9, 2013

Pshaw.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:22 PM on June 9, 2013

Quark
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:33 PM on June 9, 2013

Remember back in the old days, when no one even knew about this thread?
posted by gubenuj at 9:45 PM on June 9, 2013

So who let the lion out of the suitcase?
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:57 PM on June 9, 2013

They Might Be Black Ops
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:58 PM on June 9, 2013

Us is reading all the comments
posted by Namlit at 10:23 PM on June 9, 2013

Very edifying
posted by Namlit at 10:24 PM on June 9, 2013

Wildly entertaining
posted by Namlit at 10:25 PM on June 9, 2013

*xylophones of doom* in the background
posted by Namlit at 10:27 PM on June 9, 2013

Yeah, and then there's that thing about the alphabetical "trend". It's the law, bro, it's the law. We don't do trends here.
posted by Namlit at 10:29 PM on June 9, 2013

Zealous adherence to the law is required (except for some few cases of sad yet unintentional skippage, naturally)
posted by Namlit at 10:32 PM on June 9, 2013

As it urns out, murica is sleeping and down under seems to be looking elsewhere. Again, it is us ill-woken urpeans who plod on.
posted by Namlit at 10:34 PM on June 9, 2013

Be that as it may, first things first. I need coffee. Ciao and à bientôt.
posted by Namlit at 10:35 PM on June 9, 2013

Could it be that alas, I am alone? Coffee is a welcome prospect if only it weren't the powdered reconstituted crap available in the break room.
posted by undue influence at 10:37 PM on June 9, 2013

Dammit. Did Namlit already do C?
posted by undue influence at 10:40 PM on June 9, 2013

Europeans need not fear when nocturnal Americans remain awake to hold the baton while they swill their fancy tiny coffees.
posted by Mizu at 10:47 PM on June 9, 2013

Going to War
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:56 PM on June 9, 2013

How about a nice family recipe?

Grandma Tessie's Apricot Thins
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 lb butter
3 egg yolks
grated lemon rind 1/4-1/2 tsp
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup pecans, chopped fine
1 - 8 oz jar apricot jame
1 cup powdered sugar
3 egg whites
1 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 325 F. Cream together sugar and butter. Stir in yolks. Add rind, salt. Add flour and mix until sticks together. Knead slightly. Grease jelly roll size pan (15x10x1). Flour fingers. Drop lumps of dough around pan. Flatten dough evenly over pan and up the sides. (Continue flouring fingers as needed.) [Mizu's note: you will think you do not have enough dough, but you do. They are called thins!] Beat jam slightly with fork adding small amount of water to thin slightly. Spread jam on top of dough. In separate bowl, beat egg whites slightly by hand, then add powdered sugar and vanilla. Stir until mixed. [Mizu's note: this will look super gross.] Fold in nuts gently and spread on top of jam. Bake on rack close to top of oven about 45 minutes. If it gets too brown, lower heat to 300 and cover with brown paper. Cool in pan. Cut into squares. Sprinkle with powdered sugar - optional.

My mom (Tessie was her grandmother) makes these and puts them in festive tins to give to people for holiday gifts. She evidently now has people preparing to receive them, like they will make space in their diets to eat them, or space in their christmas cookie menus to place them, or people just really excited about their yearly apricot thins. Tessie was a middle class Jewish woman in Hungary who desperately wanted to be rich and fancy, so these cookies were her version of what she thought Hungarian aristocrats ate. They are delightfully fantastic.
posted by Mizu at 11:27 PM on June 9, 2013

I'm so upset I didn't notice the "jame" typo until after the edit window closed! So upset I have to take I!
posted by Mizu at 11:34 PM on June 9, 2013

Jame you say. I remember her.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:34 PM on June 9, 2013

Keep up the wood gurk.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:36 PM on June 9, 2013

Law & Order? No, Slaw & Order.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:37 PM on June 9, 2013

Waffles. That is all.
posted by sarah_pdx at 11:37 PM on June 9, 2013

Maffles. Flip it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:37 PM on June 9, 2013

Non-Adventures of Wonderella: "Do you even know what it's like to have your body become slowly tainted, just by being in this city?" "Yes."
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:42 PM on June 9, 2013

okay, it is now Monday on the US West Coast... you may begin your depression... now.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:00 AM on June 10, 2013

Perhaps some of us have been doing work for Anime Sols for the past six hours already. I'm plenty depressed. Did you know that Creamy Mami has an evil doppleganger in one episode who does really "evil" stuff like sign her signature with her left hand and pose for titillating half-clothed pinups, and all her fans are mad at her for being a sexualized 16 year old girl, to which she (the evil doppleganger, mind you) responds "I'm not just your little doll." It's pretty weird when you're agreeing with the evil version of the magical girl protagonist I tell you what. *deep breaths*
posted by Mizu at 12:21 AM on June 10, 2013

Question OSF - does it make you feel better to remember that it's already Monday night here?
posted by dg at 12:33 AM on June 10, 2013

Really, I am quite accustomed to being where everything chronological happens last.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:44 AM on June 10, 2013

Superchicken... did you know he was one of the earliest cartoon concepts created by Jay Ward and his then-partner Alex Anderson, in 1950, after the success of Crusader Rabbit?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:47 AM on June 10, 2013

Time waits for no chicken.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:48 AM on June 10, 2013

Understandably, IE6 is having a bit of a problem with this page now...
posted by Cannon Fodder at 1:07 AM on June 10, 2013

Very likely, every browser will have a BIT of a problem; IE6's problem is just a BIT BIGGER.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:09 AM on June 10, 2013

well, I'm sticking with Firefox; they're the only ones that haven't retired the BLINK tag... yet.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:11 AM on June 10, 2013

X gets the square, Charlie Weaver to block...
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:17 AM on June 10, 2013

You may be wondering what I'm doing at this hour... well, so am I.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:18 AM on June 10, 2013

Zeppelins > Blimps
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:19 AM on June 10, 2013

yes, we can do a reverse-alpha round for a change... and by us, I mean me
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:52 AM on June 10, 2013

Xerxes is my favorite ancient king, because... well, because X
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:52 AM on June 10, 2013

"Wendell, this will." - Yodamyn
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:53 AM on June 10, 2013

Variety is the spice of life, and sriracha is the combination Anime/Novella/RealityTV
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:56 AM on June 10, 2013

Underwhelming, isn't it?
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:58 AM on June 10, 2013

True, but that's just because you stole my V: Versace Men's Spring Collection 2013. Lookit them underpants + wrestling belts!
posted by Mizu at 1:59 AM on June 10, 2013

Super-style through the years...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:01 AM on June 10, 2013

Really, looking at that line-up of Superman S's through the years, none of them looked quite right.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:02 AM on June 10, 2013

Qurac is one thing I hope is emphatically not in the new Superman movie.
posted by Mizu at 2:05 AM on June 10, 2013

people, listen up...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:11 AM on June 10, 2013

Ok, you have my attention.
posted by billiebee at 2:12 AM on June 10, 2013

ok, I haven't done much that has left a lasting impression on the web, but I can claim credit for originating one punny meme...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:12 AM on June 10, 2013

Neil Before Zod

yep that watermark in the lower right corner for 'wendellwit.com', my old blog. so there.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:14 AM on June 10, 2013

Marvellous!
posted by billiebee at 2:15 AM on June 10, 2013

Multiple memesters and webcomickers have since done the same gag with Neil Gaiman, Neil Patrick Harris, even Neil Diamond, but Armstrong was the RIGHT Neil for the gag, because in Superman II, Zod arrived on the moon over ten years after Apollo 11. SO THERE.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:16 AM on June 10, 2013

list
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:21 AM on June 10, 2013

Lusciously brain-rack-wrack-wrecking, this upside-downy style of betaalph. My heid spins
posted by Namlit at 2:21 AM on June 10, 2013

Kite. Fly a kite. It seems to be relaxing. Mary Poppins thinks so, at least.
posted by Namlit at 2:22 AM on June 10, 2013

Just do it
posted by Namlit at 2:23 AM on June 10, 2013

Jolly good fun, by all accounts.
posted by billiebee at 2:23 AM on June 10, 2013

I can't quite make out whether we also have to make the logical flow of this upside down. Confuuusing
posted by Namlit at 2:24 AM on June 10, 2013

I endorse it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:24 AM on June 10, 2013

I do apologise, I keep stepping on toes.
posted by billiebee at 2:24 AM on June 10, 2013

Hard to do, another level of anticipation (apart from the slow-load-skip-letetrs type of thing).
posted by Namlit at 2:24 AM on June 10, 2013

Happiness is turning ~~smiles~~ frowns upside down and turning smirks 30 degrees.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:25 AM on June 10, 2013

How could you?!?!?!?!??? It had been so beautiful...
posted by Mizu at 2:25 AM on June 10, 2013

Got to leave that typo, it's so Freudian
posted by Namlit at 2:25 AM on June 10, 2013

Eeeek where is the F
posted by Namlit at 2:27 AM on June 10, 2013

Freud. Pink Freud.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:27 AM on June 10, 2013

Fumble in the dark for it
posted by Namlit at 2:27 AM on June 10, 2013

D'oh!
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:28 AM on June 10, 2013

Fuck it, it's just chaos now. Order can only be resumed upon reaching A.
posted by Mizu at 2:28 AM on June 10, 2013

Can't we all just get a lawn?
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:28 AM on June 10, 2013

Can't stop now. But I'm done fumbling.
posted by Namlit at 2:28 AM on June 10, 2013

Beyond. One Step Beyond.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:29 AM on June 10, 2013

At this point it takes about half a minute between I hit "send" and the thing goes live. Just go figure.
posted by Namlit at 2:29 AM on June 10, 2013

Back to the regular order...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:30 AM on June 10, 2013

Create order
posted by Namlit at 2:30 AM on June 10, 2013

Done creating order
posted by Namlit at 2:31 AM on June 10, 2013

Do we have a theme now?
posted by billiebee at 2:31 AM on June 10, 2013

Dis Order.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:31 AM on June 10, 2013

Everything's going to be OK, just not in that order.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:32 AM on June 10, 2013

Fries. Would you like them with your order?
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:33 AM on June 10, 2013

I was just informed that all mefites currently have an obligation to post in this thread.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 2:33 AM on June 10, 2013

Fudge Pecan Pie

3/4 cup sugar
1 cup dark corn syrup (key secret ingredient!)
1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp flour
3 eggs
2 tbsp melted butter
3 oz melted bitter chocolate
1 & 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 & 3/4 cup pecan halves
unbaked 9 " pie crust shell (make your own damn pie crust or suffer wrath)

Beat together first 5 ingredients.
Add next 4 ingredients and mix well.
Pour into shell. Arrange some reserved nuts on top in pretty circular pattern.
Bake 60 min. or until set at 300F.
posted by Mizu at 2:34 AM on June 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

Get everyone lined up in alphabetical order by height...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:34 AM on June 10, 2013

Hear hear.
posted by Namlit at 2:42 AM on June 10, 2013

Just assume that Pyrogenesis landed his TARDIS a little off-the-mark to contribute the "I" and we can move on.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:46 AM on June 10, 2013

Keynote speaker of today is....?
posted by Namlit at 2:47 AM on June 10, 2013

Leo Laporte?
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:48 AM on June 10, 2013

Martin Short?
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:48 AM on June 10, 2013

Now who's gonna call them?

Meanwhile I'm re reading an old restaurant review I wrote, and am amusing myself with myself. Self link, then.
posted by Namlit at 2:50 AM on June 10, 2013

Off to another work pass, I'm sad to report.
posted by Namlit at 2:51 AM on June 10, 2013

"Picturesque", you say?
"Inconsiderate moose", you say?
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:54 AM on June 10, 2013

Quincy was the first name of cartoon character Mister Magoo.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:58 AM on June 10, 2013

Rutgers was his Alma Mater I believe.
posted by billiebee at 3:06 AM on June 10, 2013

Seriously, Mister Magoo cartoons were the only place I heard of a college called Rutgers, especially since its football team never made the Game of the Week.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:10 AM on June 10, 2013

Tau day is coming up, folks.

Tau = 2pi, so get thinking about what pies you're gonna make. Let's have more pie recipes shall we?
posted by pianissimo at 3:55 AM on June 10, 2013

Unusual link, there, but I always do what I'm told.

Chocolate Mousse Pie

9" baked and cooled pie shell or graham cracker crust
8 oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 cup powdered sugar
pinch salt
1-1/2 tsp. vanilla
1-1/2 cups heavy cream

Preparation:

In large bowl, combine cream cheese, 1/2 cup heavy cream, and cocoa. Beat well until smooth and fluffy. Add powdered sugar, vanilla, and salt and beat until smooth. In medium bowl, beat heavy cream until stiff peaks form; fold into chocolate cream cheese mixture.
Pour into cooled pie shell. Cover and chill until firm, 4-5 hours.
posted by billiebee at 4:03 AM on June 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

Utterances into the void.
posted by pianissimo at 4:03 AM on June 10, 2013

Very sorry for the delay!
posted by billiebee at 4:04 AM on June 10, 2013

Whoops, I got impatient there. Thanks for the recipe!
posted by pianissimo at 4:07 AM on June 10, 2013

Xenical might be useful if we actually eat all the pies.
posted by billiebee at 4:25 AM on June 10, 2013

Yellowcake is not to be mixed up with yellow cake (OK, so it's not pie, sue me)
posted by pianissimo at 4:59 AM on June 10, 2013

Zapp & Roger want to be your pies.
posted by mintcake! at 5:01 AM on June 10, 2013

Apple pie ice cream or pice-cream, is one of the yummiest things ever invented.

(Haven't tried making it myself. Must get round to it one day)
posted by pianissimo at 5:06 AM on June 10, 2013

Beautiful! Apple pie ice cream: an utterance into the void. I love that.
posted by Namlit at 5:37 AM on June 10, 2013

Cheese cake is better.

Crumb Crust
300g plain sweet biscuits (e.g. Rich Tea biscuits)
120 - 160 g melted butter
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Crush biscuits (we use a food processor) to make fine crumbs. Mix with cinnamon. Add melted butter, mix and press over base and sides of a 9 inch loose bottom tin. Chill in fridge until firm.

Filling
225 g cream cheese (e.g. plain Philadelphia)
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
pinch salt
2 eggs

1 cup sour cream
2 tablespoon white sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Beat cream cheese until fluffy; gradually add 1/2 cup sugar, lemon juice, vanilla and salt. Add eggs one at a time and beat well after each. Pour filling into crumb crust. Bake at 160 degrees Celsius (320 deg F) for 25-30 minutes or until set. Combine remaining ingredients and spoon on top. Bake for a further 10 minutes, cool and chill.

Strawberry Glaze
450 g strawberries
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons cornflour
1/4 cup water

Cut up 1/2 cup strawberries, place in saucepan with sugar, 1/2 cup water and lemon juice. Bring to boil. Mix cornflour with 1/4 cup water and add to fruit mixture. Cool, stirring constantly until mixture thickens. Strain out fruit pulp and cool. Cover cheesecake with remaining strawberries, pour sauce over to glaze. Serve with remaining sauce (if any).
posted by shelleycat at 5:39 AM on June 10, 2013 [2 favorites]

Darn. Me and my eternal rhubarb. And now I'm hungry too.
posted by Namlit at 5:46 AM on June 10, 2013

Easy rhubarb crumble.
posted by billiebee at 5:48 AM on June 10, 2013

Fruit mince pies.

Hey, it's nearly time for Christmas in July!
posted by pianissimo at 6:06 AM on June 10, 2013

Grapefruit Salad
(for fancy people)

-Grapefruit cut in half & segmented, juice reserved
-Avocado in bite sized chunks
-Kale cut into thin strips
-Hazelnuts roughly chopped

Combine grapefruit juice, salt, pepper, olive oil for dressing. Cut avocado last & dress just before CONSUMING PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH NOMNOMNOMNOM
posted by Mizu at 6:18 AM on June 10, 2013

Humble pie: leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
posted by pianissimo at 7:00 AM on June 10, 2013

I don't know, what do you want me to say?
posted by marienbad at 7:12 AM on June 10, 2013

Just follow your heart!
posted by Mizu at 7:16 AM on June 10, 2013

Keep on believing!
posted by Mizu at 7:18 AM on June 10, 2013

Let it all out!
posted by h00py at 7:23 AM on June 10, 2013

My God, I can't believe the alphabet game is still going. Props.
posted by Tevin at 7:39 AM on June 10, 2013

Now it's Monday. Do you know how much more attractive alphabet threading is than the work in front of me?
posted by donnagirl at 8:00 AM on June 10, 2013

Originally a method used in the East, threading is now becoming increasingly popular among Western alphabets as a method for removing overgrown or unwanted serifs.
posted by Kabanos at 8:28 AM on June 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

Plucking is also useful for stray serifs.
posted by donnagirl at 8:30 AM on June 10, 2013

Question: can we have more cookie recipes, please?
posted by aniola at 9:02 AM on June 10, 2013

Rather sweet use of the Q, i admit.
posted by Namlit at 9:03 AM on June 10, 2013

Really, I am about to make those korova cookies right now.
posted by aniola at 9:03 AM on June 10, 2013

Sagacity in short supply.
posted by shothotbot at 9:13 AM on June 10, 2013

Sesame and Flax Seed Snaps
Ingredients:

2/3 cup Spelt Flour 
1/4 tsp Baking Powder
1/2 cup Butter 
1 cup Brown Sugar (packed)
 1 Egg 
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
 1/2 cup Sesame Seeds 
3/4 cup Flax Seeds
1 tsp Fresh Ginger (ground)

Method:

Begin preparing your snaps by creaming together the butter, sugar, egg and vanilla. Once the mixture is fully creamed, continue by mixing in the flour and the baking powder. To complete the batter begin to slowly stir in the sesame and flax seeds along with the ground ginger until they are all fully mixed into the batter. Next, drop teaspoons of the batter onto a baking sheet (to form the snaps), leaving a few inches of space around each snap. Bake the snaps in the oven for 6-8 minutes at 350 F or until they are light brown in colour.

Good thing these are "healthy" because they don't last long in our house.
posted by Kabanos at 9:14 AM on June 10, 2013

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
posted by DaddyNewt at 9:15 AM on June 10, 2013

Unacceptable! It took too long to type this up!

Pecan Fudgies

1 & 1/2 cups (6 0z) chopped pecans
2 cups (12 oz) semisweet chocolate chips
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
14-oz can sweetened condensed milk
1 large egg
1 & 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
pinch salt
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup shredded or flaked sweetened coconut (optional)

Adjust oven rack to the middle position and preheat oven to 350 F. Line several baking sheets with parchment paper or coat with nonstick spray oil.

Spread the pecans in a small baking pan and toast in the oven, stirring occasionally, for 7-9 minutes, or until nicely browned. Be careful not to burn the nuts. Immediately transfer the pecans to a small bowl and set aside to cool.

In a large microwave safe bowl, or double boiler, combine 1 & 1/2 cups of the chocolate chips and the butter slowly either in microwave or on stove, stirring often. Make sure not to burn the chocolate. Cool until just warm.

To the warm chocolate mixture, add the condensed milk, egg, vanilla, and salt and mix until thoroughly combined. Add the flour, pecans, remaining 1/2 cup chocolate chips and if desired, the coconut, and mix until thoroughly combined. The dough should resemble a very thick batter.

Drop the dough onto the prepared baking sheets by heaping tablespoons. Be sure to space the cookies about 2 inches apart.

Bake the cookies, 1 sheet at a time, for 6-8 minutes, until barely firm when pressed in the centers. Reverse the sheet from front to back halfway through baking to ensure even browning if necessary. Be careful not to overbake. Transfer the sheet to a wire rack and set aside until the cookies firm up slightly, about 5 minutes. Using a spatula, transfer the cookies to wire racks. Set aside until completely cooled. (Store in an air-tight container for up to 4 days or freeze for up to 1 month.

[These seem like a hassle but they get eaten FAST.]
posted by Mizu at 9:17 AM on June 10, 2013

Very best oatmeal cookies ever, and I don't even like white chocolate most days. Stolen from Smitten Kitchen.

Crispy Salted Oatmeal White Chocolate Cookies
Adapted from Cook’s Illustrated

The original recipe didn’t have white chocolate in it, but it really works wonderfully in here. Even if you’re a dark chocolate fan. Watch out, use the good stuff and this may even convert you.

1 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon table salt
14 tablespoons (1 3/4 sticks) unsalted butter, slightly softened
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats

6 ounces good-quality white chocolate bar, chopped (not “white chocolate” chips; they’re almost always artificial. I am adamant about this.)

1/2 teapoon flaky sea salt (like Maldon or fleur de sel) (for sprinkling on top)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line baking sheet with parchment paper or Silpat. Whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda, and table salt in a medium bowl.

2. Beat butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Scrape down bowl with rubber spatula, then add egg and vanilla and beat until incorporated. Scrape down bowl again. Add flour mixture gradually and mix until just incorporated and smooth. Gradually add oats and white chocolate and mix until well incorporated.

3. Divide dough into 24 equal portions, each about 2 tablespoons. Roll between palms into balls, then place on lined baking sheets about 2 1/2 inches apart. Using fingertips, gently press down each ball to about 3/4-inch thickness.

4. Sprinkle a flake or two of sea salt on each cookie

5. Bake until cookies are deep golden brown, about 13 to 16 minutes, rotating baking sheet halfway through. Transfer baking sheet to wire rack to cool.
posted by donnagirl at 9:19 AM on June 10, 2013

*wanders into thread and calls out "Hello? Any Mods home?!" loudly. Satisfied that no one is here, takes can of beer from fridge, glances both ways down the hallway, and settles onto couch and picks up remote control as thread fades to black.*
posted by wenestvedt at 9:33 AM on June 10, 2013

Xcept you might look again. Cortex pops in now and then.
posted by donnagirl at 9:38 AM on June 10, 2013

Yuengling?
posted by Kabanos at 9:58 AM on June 10, 2013

I just don't know.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:01 AM on June 10, 2013

Alarm! Containment breach! Letters escaping into the core! Shards of serifs everywhere.
posted by shothotbot at 10:07 AM on June 10, 2013

Zoysia is a kind of grass. If KevinSkomsvold knew that he could have joined in.
posted by donnagirl at 10:07 AM on June 10, 2013

Back on track! Can I just vent that my officemate's new healthy summer eating habits are laudable but have increased the chewing noise in our office exponentially?
posted by donnagirl at 10:10 AM on June 10, 2013

Celery. It's gotta be an all-celery diet, I swear.
posted by donnagirl at 10:12 AM on June 10, 2013

Check it out. Part of a series by artist Henrik Franklin.
posted by Kabanos at 10:12 AM on June 10, 2013

First!
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:40 AM on June 10, 2013

Good grief, it's all gone awry!
posted by Mizu at 10:42 AM on June 10, 2013

Don't
posted by Kabanos at 10:43 AM on June 10, 2013

Ever
posted by Kabanos at 10:44 AM on June 10, 2013

How VERY dare yoooou
posted by Mizu at 10:45 AM on June 10, 2013

What a shame! While this page was loading, I used a recipe from chat. I'm making milk in cookies. But! I will definitely try all of those recipes! Recipe from chat: http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2007/12/espresso-chocolate-shortbread-cookies/

I replaced the espresso with peanut butter, added raisins and flax seeds, and added an egg to half the batch as an experiment.
posted by aniola at 10:54 AM on June 10, 2013

I say! In what alternative universe does the W come after H (or any other letter, if I think about it)?
posted by Namlit at 11:03 AM on June 10, 2013

Just not directly after the H. It happens when you do the alphabet backwards. A backwards universe, if you will. It's also the thing that happens when you're not refreshing often enough.
posted by aniola at 11:29 AM on June 10, 2013

Kindling rephaim fram flobbing teh albafet.
posted by carsonb at 11:34 AM on June 10, 2013

La la la... linoleum!
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 11:38 AM on June 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

Me, I'm done doing the alphaflubbl backwards. It made my heid hurt.
posted by Namlit at 12:06 PM on June 10, 2013

Is someone going to put this in alphabetical order?

Aldeberan: Narebedla.
posted by mule98J at 12:37 PM on June 10, 2013

Nobody is even trying to stay in order now, are they? Oh well, have a: Baby Squirrel Eating A Grape.
posted by Mizu at 1:19 PM on June 10, 2013

Oh yes, precious. We're trying very hard.
posted by Namlit at 1:49 PM on June 10, 2013

Owl
posted by Kabanos at 1:49 PM on June 10, 2013

Panda
posted by Namlit at 1:55 PM on June 10, 2013

Quail
posted by Namlit at 1:56 PM on June 10, 2013

"Rachmaninoff"
posted by Namlit at 2:06 PM on June 10, 2013

Schumann
posted by Namlit at 2:15 PM on June 10, 2013

Trains...
posted by Namlit at 2:20 PM on June 10, 2013

Uh... anybody home?
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:51 PM on June 10, 2013

Vast and empty plains. Nobody in sight. It always feels like I'm scaring them away. Or Göran, for that matter.
posted by Namlit at 3:11 PM on June 10, 2013

Wild flowers growing over the last ruins of alphabet thread. Nature takes over where the humans have left. Note the dichotomy.
posted by Namlit at 3:13 PM on June 10, 2013

Xylophoning bleached bones on some rock plateaus. A bird in the distance, lone forlorn call...
posted by Namlit at 3:14 PM on June 10, 2013

Hello? I was just walking my tijuana and I think I fell and I woke up here and I have no service. What is this place?
posted by hat_eater at 3:14 PM on June 10, 2013

Yonder a frail smoke column, last manifestation of human presence.
posted by Namlit at 3:15 PM on June 10, 2013

Ze wild pitbulls, on the other hand, shall take everyone who breaks in with unruly letters. GRAR.
posted by Namlit at 3:16 PM on June 10, 2013

Hey, did I break something? Don't be mad... count to ten slowly...
posted by hat_eater at 3:18 PM on June 10, 2013

A hat eater with no service, a wonderful thing to behold. This, my friend, is the alphabet thread, and only oneswellfoop and I are left. Other humans have deserted us. See above.
posted by Namlit at 3:18 PM on June 10, 2013

Behold the entry of the B, a most serviceable and loyal of letters
posted by Namlit at 3:19 PM on June 10, 2013

And I'm not even sure I'm here anymore...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:19 PM on June 10, 2013

But you are! I'm sure of it!
posted by hat_eater at 3:20 PM on June 10, 2013

Curious. There's one here who only knows the letter H
posted by Namlit at 3:20 PM on June 10, 2013

D'oh.
posted by Namlit at 3:21 PM on June 10, 2013

Et tu? It was a conjo.. coino... a random Thing.
posted by hat_eater at 3:22 PM on June 10, 2013

Furry beast? Coniglio? Is that what you mean?
posted by Namlit at 3:25 PM on June 10, 2013

Gotta sleep, sorry. It's past midnight here.
posted by Namlit at 3:26 PM on June 10, 2013

Have a peaceful night. I promise not to eat any of your hats completely.
posted by hat_eater at 3:28 PM on June 10, 2013

I wonder if there is anyone else still hanging around...
posted by hat_eater at 3:29 PM on June 10, 2013

Just me, and I'm not feeling good about my participation here (on the whole site) right now.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:34 PM on June 10, 2013

Kind of a bummer. But don't we all from time to time? I only recovered recently after like a month of total silence.
posted by hat_eater at 3:36 PM on June 10, 2013

Like to share?
posted by billiebee at 3:37 PM on June 10, 2013

Me? I guess I just needed to get over the fact that the world doesn't revolve around me. Hurts the same every time. Then I forget about it and the cycle begins anew.
posted by hat_eater at 3:40 PM on June 10, 2013

Nope. I already opted out of the most heated political threads after realizing I was going to say something that would get me targeted by the NSA.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:43 PM on June 10, 2013

Oh me! Oh life!
posted by billiebee at 3:46 PM on June 10, 2013

Please, onefellswoop, do you really think you aren't yet? Seriously, just the length of your Metafilter history marks you as a dangerous dissenter. And not just in the eyes of algorithms trawling through the mountains of data.
posted by hat_eater at 3:48 PM on June 10, 2013

Quiet! I have reason to believe I have slipped through a variety of cracks to date that are currently getting narrower even as the girth of my dissent grows wider.

(I tried to get out and you dragged me back in...)
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:52 PM on June 10, 2013

Really sorry. Although I tend to picture the person saying that phrase as the Cheshire Cat à rebours.
posted by hat_eater at 3:57 PM on June 10, 2013

Sincerely, I tried to stay away because I thought I wasn't doing it right. But now I'm back.
posted by peagood at 4:00 PM on June 10, 2013

Time for bed. Midnight here and I might turn into a pumpkin.
posted by billiebee at 4:03 PM on June 10, 2013

Truly, if we were "doing it right" by Web standards, we'd be among the most beloved trolls at Reddit.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:03 PM on June 10, 2013

U see, just over 24 hours ago, I made this defense of MetaFilter, but it involved a trollish outlier who was being even more pro-authority than the prevailing standard, which I have noticed since then, requires quite a stretch.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:10 PM on June 10, 2013

Very many threads lately that I have wanted to comment in and deleted my words after writing them, believing "This Will Not Wendell".
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:11 PM on June 10, 2013

Why bother any longer?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:12 PM on June 10, 2013

Xcept now you can point at this thread and say "even if it wasn't the ultimate record breaker, it was wendell/oneswellfoop's flameout thread! That's historical, right?

(I give myself too much credit for significance, I know)
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:14 PM on June 10, 2013

You know, zeal, the true one, can burn even the greatest heart out.
posted by hat_eater at 4:17 PM on June 10, 2013

You're wendell?! I had no idea. I gotta start keeping a list of all the name changes around here, it's getting hard to keep track.
posted by ook at 4:22 PM on June 10, 2013

Zombies do not care for your games.
posted by _paegan_ at 4:34 PM on June 10, 2013

Żmirłacz (snark in Polish) sneers at your puny zombies. And at your short alphabet.
posted by hat_eater at 4:39 PM on June 10, 2013

Źrebię (a colt) rolling in the grass has approximately as much fun as I had in this thread. Thank you and good night - it's twenty to two AM and I need to go back to my translation.
posted by hat_eater at 4:43 PM on June 10, 2013

A fresh run through the alphabet! Let's see who's here: what is the weather like where you are right now?
posted by donnagirl at 4:51 PM on June 10, 2013

Breezy and high 80s here.
posted by donnagirl at 4:51 PM on June 10, 2013

Clouds dot the sky. Cooling down a little, but still 90.
posted by box at 5:13 PM on June 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

Dunno. Too sleepy. Still awake from yesterday.
posted by Mizu at 5:43 PM on June 10, 2013

Early this morning when I drove to the airport it was a foggy and beautiful predawn. The rest of the day has been kind of a letdown by comparison, tbh
posted by ook at 6:02 PM on June 10, 2013

Forever humid. Not necessarily hot or even warm - but quite humid.
posted by maryr at 6:06 PM on June 10, 2013

Getting some summer weather this week.
posted by Area Man at 6:12 PM on June 10, 2013

Holy carp, we had some summer weather too. A thunderstorm dumped so many water on my town yesterday that a stretch of a highway 500 feet long has been flooded up to the car roofs. Cool, still night today (predawn actually, wow).
posted by hat_eater at 6:41 PM on June 10, 2013

It's been raining most of the day. Which is fine as I planted pumpkins and watermelons this weekend.
posted by shothotbot at 7:10 PM on June 10, 2013

Juniper berries are what gin is made from, but juniper starts with J and gin starts with G. And it's Monday night so I can't have a cocktail anyway. But caffeine-free diet coke doesn't start with J.
posted by bunderful at 7:27 PM on June 10, 2013

Kind of cloudy in Victoria today, but mostly sunny. The tulip tree outside my window is blooming.
posted by bethnull at 7:46 PM on June 10, 2013

Lovely lovely now after nightfall. The air is soft and scenty.
posted by donnagirl at 7:51 PM on June 10, 2013

Minty, minty, but I can't afford the renty, and my car has got a denty.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:08 PM on June 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

New York is experiencing rain and mugginess.
posted by bunderful at 8:29 PM on June 10, 2013

O for a draft! The air is now so still
and humid that I've almost lost the will
to sleep, even at midnight. I could write
ten odes to winter in a single night.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:09 PM on June 10, 2013

Perhaps instead of a poet you need a huge metal fan.
posted by maryr at 9:31 PM on June 10, 2013

Qintars to leks, yep.
posted by klangklangston at 10:30 PM on June 10, 2013

Rainy in the evening, here in the DC area, with tornado watches and flood warnings.
posted by peeedro at 11:00 PM on June 10, 2013

Summer in deep south Texas... hot and humid.
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 11:07 PM on June 10, 2013

Tendency toward cloudy here after a sunny start. Somewhat disconcerting 50° F in the morning. Hopefully there will be some improvement on that front, or I can put my tomato plants in the compost right away.
posted by Namlit at 11:15 PM on June 10, 2013

Unfortunately, Ipswich Qld Australia remains glum, showery and about 21 deg c.
posted by h00py at 12:21 AM on June 11, 2013

Very nice conversation about the weather you've got going here. Shame if something was to happen to it *looms that little bit too close*
posted by h00py at 12:22 AM on June 11, 2013

Well, I can tell you from an experience of 22 years that something bad happened to the weather in West Sweden a looong time ago.

You know, I did get shortlisted for a job in Perth a year ago, but the job was later canceled...
posted by Namlit at 12:29 AM on June 11, 2013

Zzzzz... Wait, am I next in line?

ah, nevermind...
posted by 23 at 12:57 AM on June 11, 2013

A damp and drizzly morning in Belfast, after a glorious few days of sun. It never lasts... But it's matching my mood so that's ok.
posted by billiebee at 1:16 AM on June 11, 2013

Better than yesterday, here in Zürich: it's cloudy and humid but not actually raining (yet). It's supposed to be sunny this weekend, which will be great if it happens, since my volunteer group are having a Surprise Trip as our summer treat. :)
posted by daisyk at 2:11 AM on June 11, 2013

x-rayed...
posted by Namlit at 2:18 AM on June 11, 2013

Ye gods! I am translucent!
posted by Namlit at 2:19 AM on June 11, 2013

Couldn't just let this be unchecked-off.
posted by Namlit at 2:20 AM on June 11, 2013

Didn't notice they were left out. Good work!
posted by billiebee at 3:11 AM on June 11, 2013

Equally miserable as the weather in Ipswich is the weather down the road on the Gold Coast.
posted by dg at 3:25 AM on June 11, 2013

Fortunately, the forecast for the weekend is much brighter, if colder.
posted by dg at 3:26 AM on June 11, 2013

God, that means the temperature might drop below 20c. Winter here sucks.
posted by dg at 3:27 AM on June 11, 2013

Hopefully, though, it will be dry enough that I can get the lawns mowed.
posted by dg at 3:35 AM on June 11, 2013

I don't actually want to mow the lawns, of course, but the place is looking a bit scruffy.
posted by dg at 3:36 AM on June 11, 2013

Just think, we got to -1C a week or so ago, it was the talk of the town. It's a pretty boring town so you get that.
posted by h00py at 3:37 AM on June 11, 2013

Kinda wish the mushrooms that are bound to pop up after this lovely moist weather were the magic kind.
posted by h00py at 3:38 AM on June 11, 2013

Low temperatures like that are kind of expected that far from the coast. The cold, I mean, not the boring. That's just Ipswich.
posted by dg at 3:39 AM on June 11, 2013

Miserable job of editing that comment to account for the sudden appearance of K, I made.
posted by dg at 3:39 AM on June 11, 2013

Not *just* Ipswich, but I'm used to unkind remarks from Gold Coastians.
posted by h00py at 3:40 AM on June 11, 2013

No! You forgot the alphabet. Again!
posted by dg at 3:41 AM on June 11, 2013

Oh, you abused the edit window? How shocking of you!
posted by h00py at 3:41 AM on June 11, 2013

Oi! Edit window abuse!
posted by dg at 3:42 AM on June 11, 2013

Pffft. Yer too slow!
posted by h00py at 3:42 AM on June 11, 2013

Quite, but Perhaps I'm just too much of a goody two shoes
posted by dg at 3:43 AM on June 11, 2013

Really like being called too slow, though. Not what I'm used to.
posted by dg at 3:43 AM on June 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Sassy edit window abuser, at your service.
posted by h00py at 3:45 AM on June 11, 2013

Though, only being able to edit your own comments kind of makes it self-abuse, doesn't it?
posted by dg at 3:46 AM on June 11, 2013

Unfortunately, I'm a master (mistress?) of that too.
posted by h00py at 3:47 AM on June 11, 2013

Verily, I also.
posted by dg at 3:48 AM on June 11, 2013

Very happy that thread on meta was closed before I overshared, I have to say.
posted by h00py at 3:48 AM on June 11, 2013

Wait, nobody else can read this, can they?
posted by dg at 3:49 AM on June 11, 2013

X-rated MeTa, anyone?
posted by dg at 3:49 AM on June 11, 2013

You know, xenophiles, particularly those interested in Australia, might be getting interested.
posted by h00py at 3:50 AM on June 11, 2013

Zakly.
posted by h00py at 3:51 AM on June 11, 2013

And now, a new cycle begins. Let us discuss .. um...
posted by h00py at 3:52 AM on June 11, 2013

BActually, MeTa is a pretty good place to overshare if you are of a mind. Enough of an audience to make it interesting, but not so many that it's like masturbating in Queen St Mall.
posted by dg at 3:52 AM on June 11, 2013

Curious thing happened to me tonight at the shopping centre.
posted by dg at 3:54 AM on June 11, 2013

Despite usually being a total wuss, I confronted one of those guys spruiking fruit out the front of the fruit shop when he got in my face.
posted by dg at 3:55 AM on June 11, 2013

Evidently, MeTa is also a great place to overshare if you're out of your mind. But that's neither here nor there. Thread moves on...
posted by Namlit at 3:55 AM on June 11, 2013

Fun, that. What's spruiking?
posted by Namlit at 3:56 AM on June 11, 2013

For although, as i mentioned above, I'm a wuss, I told him to fuck off. he responded with 'don't tell me to fuck off or I'll punch you in the face'.
posted by dg at 3:57 AM on June 11, 2013

Guessing that this wasn't an approved part of his patter, I went in search of his boss.
posted by dg at 3:57 AM on June 11, 2013

Her response? "Yeah, he doesn't work for us, he's just some nutbag and security are on the way".
posted by dg at 3:58 AM on June 11, 2013

I thought 'spruiking' was universal. Huh. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/spruik
posted by dg at 4:00 AM on June 11, 2013

Je comprends.
posted by Namlit at 4:01 AM on June 11, 2013

Kinda just realised I've never shared on MeTa in any other than an in my mind state. I think.
posted by dg at 4:01 AM on June 11, 2013

Long story short: the whole guy wasn't approved, not only his patter.
posted by Namlit at 4:02 AM on June 11, 2013

Many is the number of times I've overshared on MeTa, though.
posted by dg at 4:03 AM on June 11, 2013

No, pretty sure his patter wasn't approved either.
posted by dg at 4:04 AM on June 11, 2013

On the bright side, you got some gratis adrenaline, I assume.
posted by Namlit at 4:07 AM on June 11, 2013

Patter which provokes potential customers into wanting to punch is pathetic. Good for you! The less bad spruikers the better.
posted by h00py at 4:07 AM on June 11, 2013

On-line lives promote oversharing, I think.
posted by dg at 4:07 AM on June 11, 2013

Pretending that there are no actual people on the other side of the screen makes it easy.
posted by dg at 4:08 AM on June 11, 2013

Quikers, all of you. You're standing still.
posted by Namlit at 4:09 AM on June 11, 2013

Quove on! Mick!
posted by Namlit at 4:09 AM on June 11, 2013

Really aware of the reality of the typers on the other side of the monitor, but happy that they're not nearby to punch me on the shoulder and call me a dickhead.
posted by h00py at 4:10 AM on June 11, 2013

Seriously, time for me to take a break - battery is going flat and my new rule about only sitting with the laptop for as long as the battery lasts is my way of rationing myself as a form of self-abuse. I lead a very boring life, as you can guess.
posted by dg at 4:10 AM on June 11, 2013

Shit, you can call me a dickhead anyway! I can live with that, I guess. You'll never see my tears ...
posted by h00py at 4:11 AM on June 11, 2013

Sooo...ARE there typers on the other side of the monitor *scratch head*
posted by Namlit at 4:11 AM on June 11, 2013

True, but they're not actually real people, are they?
posted by dg at 4:12 AM on June 11, 2013

Uh, like really small people? Are you really small, you mean?
posted by Namlit at 4:12 AM on June 11, 2013

Unless you don't believe in Descartes...
posted by h00py at 4:13 AM on June 11, 2013

Very disconcerting. I'll call applecare, they oughta have a look. Really flat people, too....
posted by Namlit at 4:15 AM on June 11, 2013

Virtually imperceptible.
posted by h00py at 4:15 AM on June 11, 2013

We go 'beep boop' and 'whirr', according to the movies!
posted by h00py at 4:16 AM on June 11, 2013

Whirr and beep boop they go, according to the movies, yes?
posted by Namlit at 4:17 AM on June 11, 2013

xxxx is used to denote an error. Unfortunately I was too slow and had to abuse the edit window yet again. I'm not sorry!
posted by h00py at 4:17 AM on June 11, 2013

Xannot say that the x has become my friend during these weeks. But I have gotten much better at Scrabble.
posted by Namlit at 4:18 AM on June 11, 2013

You and me both.
posted by h00py at 4:18 AM on June 11, 2013

ZAP. I beat my girlfriend two evenings in a row, and she's a native English speaker too.
posted by Namlit at 4:20 AM on June 11, 2013

Apart from that, I seem to be spending much time these days waiting for the screen to get its knickers out of the twist. Geez what is this thread slooow.
posted by Namlit at 4:21 AM on June 11, 2013

But now we're over the pause that comes with Z, here we go again.
posted by dg at 4:21 AM on June 11, 2013

Beware that which is wished for. Mungo thread is slow!
posted by h00py at 4:22 AM on June 11, 2013

'course, by Z, I mean zed, not zee.
posted by dg at 4:22 AM on June 11, 2013

Do tell me about Mungo thread. Musta missed that.
posted by Namlit at 4:23 AM on June 11, 2013

Even heard of the Mungo thread, I have not.
posted by dg at 4:24 AM on June 11, 2013

Excellent! It all started with this very large person called Mungo, you see. He was a kind soul, and somewhat underestimated because of his physique, which could only be described as enormous...
posted by h00py at 4:24 AM on June 11, 2013

For more, I am agog.
posted by dg at 4:26 AM on June 11, 2013

Gah timezones why am I awake

And why is this the first thing I do on waking
posted by ook at 4:28 AM on June 11, 2013

Highly annoying, those timezones.
posted by dg at 4:29 AM on June 11, 2013

I don't know why this is the first thing you do - it's often the last thing I do before going to bed, though, lately.
posted by dg at 4:30 AM on June 11, 2013

Just like here. But now it's mid day and I am prac-crusti-whatever
posted by Namlit at 4:31 AM on June 11, 2013

kinda hard, to combine self-employed and alphabet thread.
posted by Namlit at 4:32 AM on June 11, 2013

Literally, I would have thought it would be easy, Not productive, but easy.
posted by dg at 4:33 AM on June 11, 2013

Let's see. So Mungo wasn't one of those tiny people living behind my screen?
posted by Namlit at 4:33 AM on June 11, 2013

Mungo liked to make sure that all around him were amused and he did this by bloviating and expostulating, until there came a day when he pondered whether it was worth all of his twistings and cavortings to make people happy because now he lagged terribly, his ankles were bloated and his friend, Pastork the eagle who roosted upon his shoulder, was suffering from severe feather droop...
posted by h00py at 4:33 AM on June 11, 2013

nice alliteration.
posted by dg at 4:34 AM on June 11, 2013

No way. "Pastork"? Mightily Göranesque.
posted by Namlit at 4:35 AM on June 11, 2013

Oh, that's not the right word.
posted by dg at 4:35 AM on June 11, 2013

Oh, you're too kind. Now you!
posted by h00py at 4:35 AM on June 11, 2013

Please continue, h00py ...
posted by dg at 4:36 AM on June 11, 2013

Please don't say the right word is 'dickheadiness'.
posted by h00py at 4:36 AM on June 11, 2013

Quite unlikely.
posted by dg at 4:37 AM on June 11, 2013

(Quick grammar correction there)
posted by h00py at 4:37 AM on June 11, 2013

(querulous voice:) "Story. Story. Story!"
posted by Namlit at 4:38 AM on June 11, 2013

Right, so Mungo stomped around for a bit and left enormous footprints everywhere, which annoyed people who fell into the holes and started to wonder whether Mungo was really all he'd been cracked up to be..
posted by h00py at 4:38 AM on June 11, 2013

So, people that start telling stories and then wander off into something else because they're easily distracted are quite anno
posted by dg at 4:39 AM on June 11, 2013

Though, things are looking up on the Mungo front.
posted by dg at 4:40 AM on June 11, 2013

Ugly people threw rocks at Pastork who took it upon the beak with no outward signs of rancour. Inside, however, he was plotting death and mutilation upon all who now scoffed and scorned his good pal, Mungo. Dark times had fallen upon the land.
posted by h00py at 4:42 AM on June 11, 2013

Very dark?
posted by dg at 4:42 AM on June 11, 2013

Well, virtually everyone had forgotten the joy that Mungo and Pastork had once brought them. They had fallen victim to the ennui and now only looked forward to new tales of horror and destruction.
posted by h00py at 4:44 AM on June 11, 2013

Xtremely dark, by the sound of it.
posted by dg at 4:45 AM on June 11, 2013

You see, they had forgotten that joy could come from large unwieldy things made up of nonsense and brouhaha. They longed for horror, but when it came to them they cried out, "why are we only given things to cry about? Where is the fun, the silliness, the not giving a shit about concept or reason or purpose?" Mungo, who had never really gone away but had formed a new river from his tears, looked up.
posted by h00py at 4:49 AM on June 11, 2013

Zzzzzz. Oh, I was falling asleep waiting for the next installment.
posted by dg at 4:51 AM on June 11, 2013

And so it came to pass that Mungo stomped throughout the thread again, Pastork proud and glorious upon his shoulder, and the people laughed and sang and forgave him his bloated ankles and occasional lapse when it came to replying.
posted by h00py at 4:53 AM on June 11, 2013

(Beware Pastork, though. He never forgets.)
posted by h00py at 4:53 AM on June 11, 2013

Crikey, that sounds like MetaTalk.
posted by dg at 4:54 AM on June 11, 2013

Could be an allegory, I'm not saying.
posted by h00py at 4:55 AM on June 11, 2013

Don't hate me for my double!
posted by h00py at 4:56 AM on June 11, 2013

Egad, I was going to make the next letter E to give you a chance to edit-abuse back to a D, but you ruined, it.
posted by dg at 4:56 AM on June 11, 2013

Even I have to stop abusing the edit button, eventually.
posted by h00py at 4:56 AM on June 11, 2013

Go one more time, just for old times' sake.
posted by dg at 4:58 AM on June 11, 2013

Forgot a letter, did you?
posted by h00py at 4:58 AM on June 11, 2013

Hardly, I was leaving space for you to fix your latest erroneous rambling.
posted by dg at 5:00 AM on June 11, 2013

I would take offence but I can't because it's true. However, I will scoff at you anyway.
posted by h00py at 5:01 AM on June 11, 2013

Jesus, I can see that I should stop doing that.
posted by dg at 5:01 AM on June 11, 2013

Kindly feel free to type something stupid to get the tale of Mungo off the screen, that can be your penance.
posted by h00py at 5:03 AM on June 11, 2013

Laughable, that is - pretty much everything I type is stupid.
posted by dg at 5:04 AM on June 11, 2013

Mind you, I don't know why you want it off the screen - an interesting tale that seemed oddly familiar.
posted by dg at 5:05 AM on June 11, 2013

No resemblance to actual persons living, dead or of rather a large stature intended.
posted by h00py at 5:07 AM on June 11, 2013

Okay, now you!
posted by h00py at 5:13 AM on June 11, 2013

Perhaps we need a new topic?
posted by h00py at 5:19 AM on June 11, 2013

Quite probably the world's most boring tale ever heard. In any case, having run out of TiVo'd episodes of Big Bang Theory, I'm off to bed. Catch you on the flip side etc.
posted by dg at 5:21 AM on June 11, 2013

Right now, I've spent some time (making coffee and) wondering how Mungo's jeans are treated. Well, let's forget about that, then...
posted by Namlit at 5:32 AM on June 11, 2013

So you all know it, I liked Mungo. Especially the footprints, which somehow remind me of Calvin and Hobbes.
posted by Namlit at 5:33 AM on June 11, 2013

To add to this, I simply adore Calvin and Hobbes.
posted by Namlit at 5:34 AM on June 11, 2013

Unless we come up with something soon we're leaving ourselves open to scorn from the next time zoners who happen upon this thread.
posted by h00py at 5:57 AM on June 11, 2013

Very much want to know one thing:
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 6:08 AM on June 11, 2013

What is the longest comment? Anywhere?
If this is the longest thread...
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 6:09 AM on June 11, 2013

xercize some patience, we're not there yet.
posted by Namlit at 6:13 AM on June 11, 2013

You can be responsible for that comment if you just put your heart into it. Type fast!
posted by h00py at 6:15 AM on June 11, 2013

Zero zeal there
posted by Namlit at 6:18 AM on June 11, 2013

As we begin a new round, your reference to the longest comment makes me, however, wonder: is it economical to post one's well-crafted rants here? Will anyone ever come here and actually read what we've achieved?
Perhaps we should just all get an alphabet blog instead.
posted by Namlit at 6:18 AM on June 11, 2013

But, as we don't have the answer, we can just as well go on. Next topic perhaps rants about how people behave in supermarkets. And what we do about it.
posted by Namlit at 6:20 AM on June 11, 2013

Could, for example, present my theory that there is - somewhere out in the woods - a training camp for grandmas who use their carts as bumper cars (à la Chicago 1930).
posted by Namlit at 6:21 AM on June 11, 2013

Dear is to me is the memory of the lady who wanted to grab some tomatoes right through my ribcage...
posted by Namlit at 6:22 AM on June 11, 2013

Even better is the sheer joy of running into someone's anonymous fart cloud.
posted by h00py at 6:23 AM on June 11, 2013

Fine example. Are they truly anonymous? Or can we synergetically combine faces and aromas?
posted by Namlit at 6:24 AM on June 11, 2013

Great thing that there are these loud and noisy vents in the stores, that's for sure.
posted by Namlit at 6:27 AM on June 11, 2013

Horrible fartiness can be produced from the most innocent looking people. Anyone going particularly fast around a corner is suspect.
posted by h00py at 6:28 AM on June 11, 2013

I would like to add the shop-owners' behavior here. My girlfriend once bought asparagus (when it was in season, not imported from Peru), and there were two batches, a newer one and an older one. So she asked for the newer one. Shopkeeper said: I can't you just give these while the others aren't yet sold!
posted by Namlit at 6:30 AM on June 11, 2013

Just imagine this at the Macstore: can't give you the new Macbook, we need to get rid of these old ones first.
posted by Namlit at 6:31 AM on June 11, 2013

Kill all shopkeepers who withhold fresh produce by bottling your asparagus pee and releasing it within the duct which leads directly into their office.
posted by h00py at 6:35 AM on June 11, 2013

Little excessive, I agree.
posted by h00py at 6:36 AM on June 11, 2013

Long-experience farters have also learned not to inhale deeply, which makes them more difficult to spot.
posted by Namlit at 6:36 AM on June 11, 2013

Must get this back on track, right...
posted by Namlit at 6:37 AM on June 11, 2013

Now, what about those bastards who have 13 items at the 12 items or less checkout?
posted by h00py at 6:38 AM on June 11, 2013

Or this: people out here have it in their genes to call out to each other across valleys and stuff. So any random discussion about whether to take the green tomatoes or the moldy tomatoes leaves you stone deaf for a week.
posted by Namlit at 6:40 AM on June 11, 2013

People around here wear their pyjamas to the supermarket and swear at their children. Such fun!
posted by h00py at 6:42 AM on June 11, 2013

Questionable behavior, so much is clear. I once saw an old couple getting out on the store and she went quack quack with an angry face all the way to their car, until he said, for the entire parking lot to hear, "shut up, women." Younger people tend to be less outspoken in this country, 'tis true.
posted by Namlit at 6:45 AM on June 11, 2013

'Round here, there's a constant competition between those who want to be loud and obnoxious and attention grabbing and those who want to be invisible. It can be interesting if you're not invested in either side.
posted by h00py at 6:48 AM on June 11, 2013

Some differences between Sweden and the US: there, people fall apart into those who duck out of your way, and say "excuse me" and those who block you in your stride, saying "excuse me". Here people fall apart into the older ones who are still hardwired for left hand traffic and the younger ones who aren't.
posted by Namlit at 7:00 AM on June 11, 2013

Then, there's this indecision in front of the meat fridge thingy. People just cycle and hover, but aren't up to actually grabbing one or another of the packages. No wonder all the meat ends up with a "short date" sticker.
posted by Namlit at 7:03 AM on June 11, 2013

Undeniably special for these parts is also the strategic placement of cart roadblocks while their users are engaged in front of the cheese in a friends of the family reunion type of enterprise. They end up achieving three things at once: they chat while not having to serve out coffie and cookies, they make the meat inaccessible for everyone else because to the carts, plus the cheese because of themselves.
posted by Namlit at 7:06 AM on June 11, 2013

Utter horror at the prices, no doubt. Back in my day mutton was 1c a dachion and we could feed a family of 10 on it for a week, with enough for the dogs afterwards!
posted by h00py at 7:06 AM on June 11, 2013

Very annoying when people prevent you from accessing free samples. I like to feed my children free samples every Wednesday from about 5pm onwards.
posted by h00py at 7:09 AM on June 11, 2013

Very true. but I've got my tricks there. Take oxtail, for instance: nobody (literally - see the other thread) buys oxtail. I observe it over a few days. As soon as the red sticker (30% off) gets up, I buy the lot, and make stew in a french oven inside the oven, with onions, red wine and spices. Freezable, serves many, many times... just an example.
posted by Namlit at 7:09 AM on June 11, 2013

Whee! I love oxtail too!
posted by h00py at 7:10 AM on June 11, 2013

Xerostomia is certainly not something we experience around here when oxtail is on the menu. It's all sloppy drooling and unsettling moaning.
posted by h00py at 7:12 AM on June 11, 2013

Xactly.

But we only have yucky free samples here normally. Like that cheese that everyone found weird, in small cubes with toothpicks. Gets no less weird that way...
posted by Namlit at 7:12 AM on June 11, 2013

Yes! We filled this round with quality content!
posted by Namlit at 7:13 AM on June 11, 2013

Yet if there's a little gherkin and a red cocktail onion on the toothpick as well, it suddenly becomes a party!
posted by h00py at 7:14 AM on June 11, 2013

Zippedy doo dah! We are the champions, my friend.
posted by h00py at 7:15 AM on June 11, 2013

Zucchini be the last thing I would like to rant about. Would you rather have them yellow and fibrous, or green and limp?
posted by Namlit at 7:15 AM on June 11, 2013

Ah, I think that's spelled "Champignons"...

(must run, fetch partner from train station. Then: the supermarket. I. Can't. Wait)
posted by Namlit at 7:17 AM on June 11, 2013

Better off having them grated and formed into the marvellous thing known as a Zucchini Slice. Bye bye!
posted by h00py at 7:19 AM on June 11, 2013

Champignon pun made me snort, thanks for that! Off to bed for me. Nighty night!
posted by h00py at 7:19 AM on June 11, 2013

Deeds will be done in the dead of your night.
posted by adamvasco at 8:46 AM on June 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ever seen a whale up close?
posted by Kabanos at 9:25 AM on June 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Fantastic! That was beautiful.
posted by Namlit at 9:43 AM on June 11, 2013

I think advertising an almost-longest-thread in MetaTalk in an attempt to rally support for pushing it over the top is cheating and so I'm not going to reward that behavior by adding a comment to this thread.
posted by straight at 9:50 AM on June 11, 2013

Gotta screw up the alphabet while you're at it?
posted by Kabanos at 9:52 AM on June 11, 2013

Hugged as a derail. Everyone needs hugs.
posted by Namlit at 9:54 AM on June 11, 2013

Here, I'll just add this and then we'll be back on track.
posted by Kabanos at 9:54 AM on June 11, 2013

I think we can skip the I in this case. is what I think.
posted by Namlit at 9:55 AM on June 11, 2013

Just popped in to escape my shitfest of a day. Why must humans be so bloody useless? Present company excepted, obviously.
posted by billiebee at 10:15 AM on June 11, 2013

Karma, billiebee. Karma. Just accept their uselessness, really deeply inside yourself, and they'll happily present you with more of the same. It's win win, sort of.
posted by Namlit at 10:47 AM on June 11, 2013

Let us rise up and be thankful,
for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little,
and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick,
and if we got sick, at least we didn't die;
so, let us all be thankful. - Buddha

(easy for him to say though...he didn't have my clients.)
posted by billiebee at 11:38 AM on June 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Maybe your clients are heartsick over the consuming fear of losing what they have or not gaining what they want.
posted by shothotbot at 12:11 PM on June 11, 2013

Now is the winter of our discontent, where we fear a coming summer of discontent.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:22 PM on June 11, 2013

Only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And of course, the fear of fear, I suppose. The fear of fear of fear is something to fear as well...
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:25 PM on June 11, 2013

Putting on a happy face is a put-on.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:28 PM on June 11, 2013

Quiet lives of desperation. Some people do it that way, but not me. I have very loud life of desperation.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:30 PM on June 11, 2013

Really disparate desperations you're talking about there.
posted by Kabanos at 12:37 PM on June 11, 2013

Some fearsome far-fetched fears here. Like the hall of fame of fears, with mirrors all installed.
posted by Namlit at 12:38 PM on June 11, 2013

Time for MetaFearFest
posted by Namlit at 12:38 PM on June 11, 2013

Unless we need more recipes:
posted by Namlit at 12:39 PM on June 11, 2013

Vuck, I wanted a W here
posted by Namlit at 12:40 PM on June 11, 2013

What are your dearest fears (namely)?
posted by Namlit at 12:40 PM on June 11, 2013

You can't possibly imagine my dearest fears, so fearful are they.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:41 PM on June 11, 2013

X-ophobia? (just trying to help)
posted by Namlit at 12:42 PM on June 11, 2013

Zombies. I'm afraid of zombies, for instance.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:42 PM on June 11, 2013

Ah bah. Zombies schwombies. I fear my chainsaw. Now there's some manly enterprise.
posted by Namlit at 12:44 PM on June 11, 2013

Angels are scary. They're like giant birds with strong morals.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:44 PM on June 11, 2013

Butter. When it comes out of the fridge all cold I worry that it will scratch up my toast.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:45 PM on June 11, 2013

Crap. Never thought about angels that way. Crap.
posted by Namlit at 12:46 PM on June 11, 2013

Did anyone ever use ssscat to scare away magpies from the balcony, by the way? They don't have any morals, but they're everywhere.
posted by Namlit at 12:47 PM on June 11, 2013

Donuts. What made that hole? Where the insides go? Could that happen to me?
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:48 PM on June 11, 2013

Ear holes. Why do have a big opening into my skull so close to my brain and I can't close it? It seems dangerous.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:49 PM on June 11, 2013

Fear of death is not as bad as fear of life.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:01 PM on June 11, 2013

Gravity always brings me down.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:02 PM on June 11, 2013

Hotel mini-bars scare me. The bottles are so little, but they cost so much. I have a hard time maintaining the correct perspective.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:05 PM on June 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ice, water, and steam don't phase me. It's all the same to me.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:07 PM on June 11, 2013

Jokes, especially long jokes, terrify me. You know there's a punchline coming, but you don't know when it will happen or what it will be. That uncertainty scares the shit out of me.

When the joke reaches its end, and the punchline happens, I always laugh.

But it's a nervous laughter.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:10 PM on June 11, 2013

Kimshi is my culinary nemesis. I dread the day on which I'll try it but I know I have to. It's a part of the human condition. Then it will be duryan. Then casu marzu. The nightmare never ends.
posted by hat_eater at 1:47 PM on June 11, 2013

Living in fear of frikin' sink holes.
posted by Kabanos at 2:12 PM on June 11, 2013

Maybe it's not so good to leave this thread at 6660 comments, so I'll just add this one.
posted by Kabanos at 2:52 PM on June 11, 2013

Now I think of it, there is a certain type of defensive body language in some people that creeps me out. Like in the (fictive, I assure you) 40-year-old second son of a grocery store owner who became an artist - type; some kind of I stand on my spot don't you all see it and don't you dare come too close to me-iness. Neck stiff, straight back, popular attitude but verrry careful taxing eyes. Shudder.
posted by Namlit at 3:13 PM on June 11, 2013

One shares one's beer with them, but they really are out to eat your brains.
posted by Namlit at 3:14 PM on June 11, 2013

Possums. I know they're harmless, but oh my god ewwww.
posted by donnagirl at 3:45 PM on June 11, 2013

Quit yer complainin' and EAT YER POSSUM!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:05 PM on June 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Really? I'm satanic enough to leave it at 6666.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:08 PM on June 11, 2013

seriously, my California Drivers License number has three 6s in a row. Back in the day when you'd write checks at stores and show the DL as ID, it was a real conversation starter.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:10 PM on June 11, 2013

Toenails no longer attached to toes also freak me right the fuck out.
posted by donnagirl at 4:12 PM on June 11, 2013

underwater underwear underwhelms me
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:14 PM on June 11, 2013

Very bad news for me: my son just dropped my driver's license into my car door.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:15 PM on June 11, 2013

very good... that was #6669... I'll be back for #6969
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:15 PM on June 11, 2013

Will have to take the door apart now.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:16 PM on June 11, 2013

X-acto knife might help me cut the plastic sheathing under the door panel.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:18 PM on June 11, 2013

You have any idea why kids do dumb things like that?
posted by double block and bleed at 4:20 PM on June 11, 2013

zippity bop!
posted by chinston at 4:20 PM on June 11, 2013

"A post about metatalk hasn't been deleted yet, and I wonder why" is the title of this post.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:22 PM on June 11, 2013

Became it did, an alphabet thread.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:23 PM on June 11, 2013

Couldn't they see that the infinite meta-recursion would kill them all?
posted by double block and bleed at 4:24 PM on June 11, 2013

Didn't they see the danger?
posted by double block and bleed at 4:25 PM on June 11, 2013

Every one of them would die in turn.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:26 PM on June 11, 2013

Fools!
posted by double block and bleed at 4:26 PM on June 11, 2013

God will sort them out.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:27 PM on June 11, 2013

Hell for most. Heaven for a few.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:27 PM on June 11, 2013

I tried to warn them
posted by double block and bleed at 4:28 PM on June 11, 2013

Just couldn't resist, despite the warnings. It drew me ever inward.
posted by donnagirl at 4:28 PM on June 11, 2013

Kill you all, I say!
posted by double block and bleed at 4:29 PM on June 11, 2013

Like lemmings to a cliff
posted by double block and bleed at 4:30 PM on June 11, 2013

Make it stop!
posted by double block and bleed at 4:30 PM on June 11, 2013

No. There is no way but forward.
posted by donnagirl at 4:31 PM on June 11, 2013

No more! The carnage!
posted by double block and bleed at 4:31 PM on June 11, 2013

OK, I give up. For now.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:32 PM on June 11, 2013

Persevere!
posted by donnagirl at 4:32 PM on June 11, 2013

Quick! before they get us, too!
posted by double block and bleed at 4:33 PM on June 11, 2013

Resistance is futile.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:36 PM on June 11, 2013

Silenced all my life.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:37 PM on June 11, 2013

True dat.
posted by billiebee at 4:37 PM on June 11, 2013

To my doom I must go.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:37 PM on June 11, 2013

Undertaker eagerly awaits.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:38 PM on June 11, 2013

Vile is this bitter pill!
posted by double block and bleed at 4:39 PM on June 11, 2013

Why did it have to end this way?
posted by double block and bleed at 4:39 PM on June 11, 2013

X-ray my soul, if you'd like. There's nothing there.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:40 PM on June 11, 2013

Xanax
posted by donnagirl at 4:40 PM on June 11, 2013

You may still have a chance to esca... EARRRGH! TOO LATE!
posted by double block and bleed at 4:41 PM on June 11, 2013

Zero hour.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:42 PM on June 11, 2013

Alrighty then.
posted by donnagirl at 4:43 PM on June 11, 2013

"But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near."
posted by peeedro at 4:56 PM on June 11, 2013

"Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them."
posted by jeremias at 5:35 PM on June 11, 2013

"Can I just call this chase a lie and ask for a lift - and finally die?"
posted by hat_eater at 5:36 PM on June 11, 2013

Does that explain the license dropped in the car door?
posted by Kabanos at 6:36 PM on June 11, 2013

Everything is explained by a dropped license in a car door
posted by ook at 6:42 PM on June 11, 2013

Frequency of my posting is limited by the fact that my iPad now crashes every time I hit post
posted by ook at 6:47 PM on June 11, 2013

Gosh. I havent experienced that yet. But i have been doing trials to see how many finger swipes it takes me to scroll from one end of this thread to the other. Most exercise I've had in weeks. My record is 12.
posted by Kabanos at 6:51 PM on June 11, 2013

Hey, you people on the US daytime shift? You're slacking off!
posted by dg at 7:30 PM on June 11, 2013

I know you think we aren't watching from way down here, but we are!
posted by dg at 7:31 PM on June 11, 2013

Just for reference - I've found via this thread that an iPad tops out at around 6,000 comments in terms of being able to reasonably participate.
posted by dg at 7:39 PM on June 11, 2013

Kind of interesting to watch Greasemonkey perform its magic in such a big thread, though.
posted by dg at 7:41 PM on June 11, 2013

Like, there's about a four second delay after the page loads before all the extra stuff fills in.
posted by dg at 7:41 PM on June 11, 2013

Mind you, the iPad limitations are possibly more about connection speed than the device itself.
posted by dg at 7:44 PM on June 11, 2013

Now what?
posted by caaaaaam at 8:04 PM on June 11, 2013

Orgasms for everyone!!!
posted by ook at 8:26 PM on June 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Pretty sure that was the deal, wasn't it?
posted by ook at 8:28 PM on June 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Quite a lot of us here, did you want us to form a line?
posted by donnagirl at 8:33 PM on June 11, 2013

Really as long as we go in the correct order anything will do...
posted by ook at 8:52 PM on June 11, 2013

Someday I'll have to go back and read this whole thread.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 10:01 PM on June 11, 2013

That way goes madness, Mister Moofoo...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:16 PM on June 11, 2013

Unless by madness you mean gladness, mister swell foo'
posted by carsonb at 10:29 PM on June 11, 2013

Very serious, mister b, I lost my sanity to this thread 2200 comments ago.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:37 PM on June 11, 2013

What is sanity, what is insanity... it's all so subjective.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:14 AM on June 12, 2013

Your words, not mine.
posted by 23 at 12:45 AM on June 12, 2013

Zero sanity
posted by Namlit at 1:07 AM on June 12, 2013

Away we go again. Morning all.
posted by billiebee at 1:38 AM on June 12, 2013

But it's not morning here in Tokyo. Evening all.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:35 AM on June 12, 2013

Correct. Good Mevenoing.
posted by Namlit at 2:36 AM on June 12, 2013

Dreary home office time here. Mooar coffee needed, I guess.
posted by Namlit at 2:36 AM on June 12, 2013

Elevenses time, I think...
posted by billiebee at 2:45 AM on June 12, 2013

Fast forward and they became twelveses. Had some work to do.
posted by Namlit at 3:19 AM on June 12, 2013

Going straight to the hand grinder, which is mounted on the wall at a strategic place, to grind up some great grounds for a grand cuppa.
posted by Namlit at 3:21 AM on June 12, 2013

Have had that grinder since Christmas 1979. Daily use. It's never let me down.
posted by Namlit at 3:22 AM on June 12, 2013

It looks great. I can't do coffee, though. I'm tea all the way, baby.
posted by billiebee at 3:23 AM on June 12, 2013

Just relax. Tea is great. I was raised on tea.
posted by Namlit at 3:24 AM on June 12, 2013

Kettle is always on in my house.
posted by billiebee at 3:25 AM on June 12, 2013

Luxury.
posted by Namlit at 3:27 AM on June 12, 2013

Milk is important in tea; I'm running out at the office and need to remember to get some more tomorrow on the way to work.
posted by 23 at 3:29 AM on June 12, 2013

Maybe not always... Sometimes I prefer gin.
posted by billiebee at 3:30 AM on June 12, 2013

Never take milk. Black, and with lemon if I have my fancy pants on.
posted by billiebee at 3:31 AM on June 12, 2013

Oh, next thing you're going to say bergamot isn't a terrible aluminum-flavored monstrosity.

Perhaps you're talking about sweet tea, though? That's a different story.

Quite sweet when made in the South in general, but you can make it to your preference.

Recently this is how I make mine:

Set a half-gallon to boiling.

Ten to fifteen teabags (cheap stuff like Lipton is good; don't use breakfast tea) go in, heat goes off, top goes on.

Use a timer on about ten to fifteen minutes to tell when to remove the teabags.

Vary sugar by taste, but for a gallon of tea two cups is a good start.

While the tea is still hot, pour into the container, over the sugar, and stir until dissolved (this part is important).

Xylophone playing is a good way to pass the time as your tea cools in the refrigerator.

Zing can be added to the final product with a bit of lemon, but it should be fine straight too.

And that's it for the sweet tea. Remember it doesn't last forever, so drink it quickly.
posted by 23 at 3:50 AM on June 12, 2013

By the way, it's great mixed with Powers whiskey.
posted by 23 at 3:50 AM on June 12, 2013

Pardon my uncouthness, but I only drink strong black UK or Northern irish Tea - Tetley's, Nambarrie etc. A green tea now and then but it's bitter.
posted by billiebee at 4:06 AM on June 12, 2013

Quite some differences between tea cultures here. I was brought up with the strong North German way, black tea freshly brewed with hot water, cream, big crystal-lumps of sugar. It gave me heartburn even as a kid. I totally skip the sugar now, and have a larger variety of black teas in my pantry, but the cream stayed. It's the first thing in my cup. Then the tea.
posted by Namlit at 4:11 AM on June 12, 2013

Rituals matter, see?
posted by Namlit at 4:12 AM on June 12, 2013

That's interesting - I wold never have thought of cream and tea together. I don't take milk at all, even on cereal. Which is why my bones will one day crumble to dust...
posted by billiebee at 4:16 AM on June 12, 2013

Unfortunately, 23, I didn't see what you did there until it was too late!
posted by billiebee at 4:28 AM on June 12, 2013

Very impressive, though.
posted by billiebee at 4:29 AM on June 12, 2013

Will try to catch up.
posted by billiebee at 4:30 AM on June 12, 2013

Xylitol can be used in tea as an artificial sweetener, FYI.
posted by billiebee at 4:31 AM on June 12, 2013

You may prefer the real thing. I went off sugar in my tea for Lent when I was about 11 and never went back on it again.
posted by billiebee at 4:32 AM on June 12, 2013

Zillah in Washington State hosts the world’s oldest gas pump. It’s known as the Teapot Dome Service Station, as it happens to look like a teapot.
posted by billiebee at 4:34 AM on June 12, 2013

Aargh! I have to go move my car before I get a ticket!
posted by billiebee at 4:35 AM on June 12, 2013

Be right back...
posted by billiebee at 4:35 AM on June 12, 2013

Cream in tea?! That's how I have it! Um...triple cream and double sugar. My old co-worker dubbed them "Fat and Furries." (They keep me pudgy, and they make my teeth feel furry.)
posted by peagood at 4:55 AM on June 12, 2013

Don't like tea.
posted by dg at 5:24 AM on June 12, 2013

Even though I haven't so much as tasted it for years, I just don't like the taste.
posted by dg at 5:25 AM on June 12, 2013

For me, a flat white with no sugar really hits the spot.
posted by dg at 5:26 AM on June 12, 2013

Generally I actually drink a strong cup of Barry's with milk - sweet tea is just for the summer months. I go through 400 bags of Barry's about every three months. Luckily, even with international shipping it's quite cheap. (Though don't buy from Barry's Tea US - they're some kind of unofficial thing with crazy markup.)
posted by 23 at 5:37 AM on June 12, 2013

Having my morning tea right now.
posted by gubenuj at 6:41 AM on June 12, 2013

I bought this box of 100 Salada tea bags at Grocery Outlet for $1.99. The "fortune" on this particular bag's tag reads "On the hole, swiss cheese is very tasty."
posted by gubenuj at 6:44 AM on June 12, 2013

Just the thing to print on salad tea bags.
posted by Namlit at 6:53 AM on June 12, 2013

Key to good tea is to preheat the pot, and to use boiling hot filtered water. Otherwise, I wouldn't like the taste either.
posted by Namlit at 6:54 AM on June 12, 2013

Listen, I've never tried swiss cheese on the hole, but if you're tea-bagging I suppose that could be good advice.
posted by Kabanos at 8:18 AM on June 12, 2013

My morning tea should just be finished steeping now.
posted by klangklangston at 8:19 AM on June 12, 2013

Now is the time to officially thank infini for the peppermint tea recommendation. We have fresh peppermint in the garden. I used it to make tea two evenings in a row. It was even drinkable. And I slept like a baby two nights in a row.
posted by Namlit at 8:32 AM on June 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Or you can be like me, and add a little peppermint tea to your summertime iced green tea pitchers.
posted by box at 8:47 AM on June 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Perhaps not, as my summertime iced green tea pitchers are called "white wine."
posted by Namlit at 9:58 AM on June 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

Quite an afternoon here. The nearby school (a really cute Swedish countryside school, the former main building of which is still one of these real Astrid Lindgreny wooden structures) has its end-of-term celebration.
posted by Namlit at 10:01 AM on June 12, 2013

Right now, they're about done. The celebration used to be in the little church here. Then the classes became too big, and some people didn't want to be in the church, and they started to do the whole thing on the school yard, with amplifiers and an electric piano.
posted by Namlit at 10:04 AM on June 12, 2013

So I mowed my lawn to the background warblings across the train tracks and a bit away: they couldn't hear me, but I sure heard them...
posted by Namlit at 10:05 AM on June 12, 2013

Time for drinks, I guess...
posted by Namlit at 10:06 AM on June 12, 2013

Unabashedly wishing it was drinks time here.
posted by donnagirl at 10:13 AM on June 12, 2013

Very much agree.
posted by The Bellman at 10:47 AM on June 12, 2013

We got stuck behind our computers anyway, so no drinks, and no need for onlookers to feel sad (yet). Also, rainy weather is coming in :(
posted by Namlit at 10:54 AM on June 12, 2013

Xeric here, though gloomy.
posted by klangklangston at 11:14 AM on June 12, 2013

You've got to be kidding me....
posted by BlueHorse at 11:55 AM on June 12, 2013

Zombie recipe

1/2 oz Bacardi® 151 rum
1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz orange juice
1/2 oz apricot brandy
1 tsp sugar
2 oz light rum
1 oz dark rum
1 oz lime juice

Blend all ingredients with ice except Bacardi 151 proof rum. Pour into a collins glass. Float Bacardi 151 proof rum on top. Garnish with a fruit slice, sprig of mint and a cherry.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:33 PM on June 12, 2013

A Zesty Irishman might be nice, and would have also worked for "Z". :-)

3/4 oz Drambuie
1 oz Irish Whiskey
1/4 oz triple sec
Juice of 1/2 lemon
Ginger ale
Lemon twist for garnish

Pour the whiskey, Drambuie, triple sec, and lemon juice into a cocktail shaker filled with ice.
Shake until the tin is frosted, strain into a rocks glass filled with ice.
Add a splash of ginger ale and garnish with a lemon twist.
posted by donnagirl at 12:36 PM on June 12, 2013

Bee Tea is actually my favorite summer drink, although I didn't know it was called that.

1 part Bärenjäger honey liqueur
2 parts fresh brewed tea
Lemon wedge for garnish

Fill a highball glass with ice.
Pour in the Bärenjäger and fill the glass with fresh brewed tea.
Garnish with a lemon wedge.
posted by donnagirl at 12:37 PM on June 12, 2013

Campari & soda is also delightful once it gets super hot outside.
posted by donnagirl at 12:38 PM on June 12, 2013

Don't have no public radio and I'm kinda pissed about it. Maybe some campari and soda would do me good.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:47 PM on June 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Eh, we don't do sugar; low-carb... So here's what we had:
Gin Rickey (straight from drinkmixer.com)
1 1/2 oz gin
juice of 1/2 limes
carbonated water
1 lime wedge

Pour juice of lime and gin into a highball glass over ice cubes. Fill with carbonated water and stir. Add the wedge of lime and serve.

If you use Pellegrino, this is actually quite nice.
posted by Namlit at 1:09 PM on June 12, 2013

Fantasizing over some booze at work, but I'm going to have to wait until I get home. I've been reading Kidnapped, and it's full of punches, so I think I might whip some up (I especially liked where David can tell a guy is a gentleman, because he has a sack of lemons for brewing punch.)
posted by klangklangston at 1:16 PM on June 12, 2013

Gotta say that for the summer, I like to keep it simple: Zubrowka (bison-grass vodka) and tonic with lime.
posted by Kabanos at 1:17 PM on June 12, 2013

Had a night of drinking with a Polish colleague in Luxembourg many years ago, he informed me it's called bison-grass because the bison pee on it, this is what gives the vodka its characteristic taste.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:26 PM on June 12, 2013

I don't know if that's true or not, but it would help explain why it gets me piss-drunk so easily.
posted by Kabanos at 1:28 PM on June 12, 2013

Juuuuuuuuuuuuleps! I would stab someone to get to a well-made mint julep.

leaves from 4-5 mint sprigs
2 sugar cubes or 1/2 oz simple syrup
2 1/2 oz bourbon
mint sprig for garnish

Place the mint and simple syrup or sugar into a julep cup, collins glass or double old-fashioned glass. Muddle well to dissolve the sugar and to release the oil and aroma of the mint. Add the bourbon. Fill with crushed ice and stir well until the glass becomes frosty. Garnish with the mint sprig.
posted by donnagirl at 1:33 PM on June 12, 2013

Know what? This talk of Bison pee just reminded me that I have a bag of civet coffee hidden somewhere, that my sister brought back for me. Can't quite gather up the courage to try it... I keep seeing that Austin Powers scene in my head.
posted by Kabanos at 1:37 PM on June 12, 2013

Look, it's just a tiny jungle critter - drinking coffee made with partially digested and excreted cofee beens is not gonna hurt a big man like you. You have to try it out and report back, for science.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:43 PM on June 12, 2013

Maybe I'll just brew it for Mrs. Kabanos, and put myself in the placebo group.
posted by Kabanos at 1:50 PM on June 12, 2013

Now someone might say the experiment would be better performed if it was entirely blind. Maybe Mrs Kabanos will provide a more objective description if she doesn't know about the monkey poop thing until afterwards.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:11 PM on June 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Other possibility may be that it makes you entirely blind. Not sure what to recommend...
posted by Namlit at 3:22 PM on June 12, 2013

Perhaps a neighbor?
posted by Namlit at 3:23 PM on June 12, 2013

¿Que?
¿No hay comentarios durante cuatro horas y media?
¿Se ha ido el hilo a dormir?
Google Translate assures me that last line is "Has the thread gone to sleep?" in Spanish
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:51 PM on June 12, 2013

Raaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:02 PM on June 12, 2013

Saaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:04 PM on June 12, 2013

Taaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:05 PM on June 12, 2013

uh, I don't think this next one is gonna work
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:05 PM on June 12, 2013

Vaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:06 PM on June 12, 2013

Waaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:06 PM on June 12, 2013

X it, stage left...
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:07 PM on June 12, 2013

Y we're still doing this, I don't know.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:13 PM on June 12, 2013

Zecause it's there.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:14 PM on June 12, 2013

Awful stretch there, foop, old fellow. Simply awful.
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:18 PM on June 12, 2013

But all is forgiven in the alphabet thread!
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:19 PM on June 12, 2013

Could the Alphabet Thread be the Banana Stand of MetaFilter?
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:20 PM on June 12, 2013

Does anyone know what time it is?
posted by maggieb at 8:32 PM on June 12, 2013

Elevenses? Eleventy something? Time for me to go to bed, most likely.
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:33 PM on June 12, 2013

Five before the hour. Your hour may vary.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:57 PM on June 12, 2013

Gah! My time-check was two minutes slow.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:58 PM on June 12, 2013

Heavens it's been going slow here. All our work, jeopardized by elevenses.
posted by Namlit at 10:24 PM on June 12, 2013

Frantic efforts to make this work are in order.
posted by Namlit at 10:25 PM on June 12, 2013

Iiih, what happened here.
posted by Namlit at 10:27 PM on June 12, 2013

Just a minor senior moment *pats own shoulder*
posted by Namlit at 10:27 PM on June 12, 2013

Kill the slowness.
posted by Namlit at 10:28 PM on June 12, 2013

Last I dreamed was some sort of post apocalyptic scene in a shop where my girlfriend saved herself from some character's deadly laser gaze by letting stripy sunlight fall onto her through blinds, thus confusing said character. Afterwards, I noticed that I had forgotten my computer on the scene, that's how I woke up.
posted by Namlit at 10:32 PM on June 12, 2013

Must have been triggered by the downpour going on out there, the post-apocalyptic part of it, I mean.
posted by Namlit at 10:34 PM on June 12, 2013

Not seen so much water in months. Good morning, Sweden.
posted by Namlit at 10:35 PM on June 12, 2013

On the other hand, sitting here all alone - y'all didn't eat that chicken fillet left out on the counter, I hope?
posted by Namlit at 10:37 PM on June 12, 2013

Peel, not stand. The banana peel of Metafilter is what this thread is. Everyone slipped out on it.
posted by Namlit at 10:38 PM on June 12, 2013

Quite a nice piece of chicken I found - it made a good chicken burrito with guac, cheese, sour cream and two kinds of salsa...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:41 PM on June 12, 2013

Rats... forgot the beans.

Must've underthought 'em.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:42 PM on June 12, 2013

Sufficient time left to think them back onto your plate.
posted by Namlit at 10:46 PM on June 12, 2013

That said, it sounds delish, all that stuff...
posted by Namlit at 10:47 PM on June 12, 2013

Undoubtedly, when I can get a good deal of big flour tortillas. When I can't, my vice is a stack of 6-8 corn tortillas dipped in green enchilada sauce with various ingredients in-between, all microwaved into submission.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:34 PM on June 12, 2013

"Very well," she said. "I don't know why you want me to play these silly games."
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:28 AM on June 13, 2013

"We all play silly games," I said. "This one is just a little sillier."
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:29 AM on June 13, 2013

"X" she said. "You get big bonus points if you know a word that starts with X, right?"
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:31 AM on June 13, 2013

"You don't understand what we're doing. It's not about the alphabet. There's something bigger going on."
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:32 AM on June 13, 2013

"Z is how you start a word?" she said, dismissively. "That has to be the stupidest thing that people could ever worry about. What kind of privileged idiots could ever worry about something that stupid?"
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:35 AM on June 13, 2013

"Alright", I said. "once in a while this kind of shit happens. It's not about issues. People just get their funk on. Gotta let that happen."
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:38 AM on June 13, 2013

Bwah! Said she and turned to the toaster that was emitting brown clouds and unmistakable odors.
posted by Namlit at 2:40 AM on June 13, 2013

"Correct! This is exactly the way it's done!" I said. Go on - go on...
posted by Namlit at 2:42 AM on June 13, 2013

"Do me a favor, then," she said "and don't dial the darn dial all the way up to destruction. I mean, look at these." She held up a pair of charred, stamp-sized toasts.
posted by Namlit at 2:44 AM on June 13, 2013

"Evidently no my fault. The cat must have done it," I ventured. I almost believed what I was saying.
posted by Namlit at 2:45 AM on June 13, 2013

Edgar Cayce pretty much figured it out years ago. I don't know why I even bother to comment in internet threads anymore.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:45 AM on June 13, 2013

Furiously, she turned on me. "I could have predicted this answer," she said.
posted by Namlit at 2:47 AM on June 13, 2013

"Get lost with 'something bigger'! A higher goal, eh? What we've got here is some higher coal instead." She stomped out of the kitchen.
posted by Namlit at 2:49 AM on June 13, 2013

Hum. Sorry I derailed your story. You were saying?
posted by Namlit at 2:50 AM on June 13, 2013

Igor Sikorsky, the inventor of the helicopter, also authored a book about The Message of the Lord's Prayer.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:54 AM on June 13, 2013

"John" is actually a fairly common name for an inventor when you start to research "toilet patents".
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:03 AM on June 13, 2013

Just Keep Quiet and Nobody Will Notice
(yes, I love Ogden Nash, even when he rhymes "colleges" and "apologies")
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:03 AM on June 13, 2013

K is actually in the middle of the alphabet, distribution-wise. If you have a phone book and you pick out the middle, you're close to K. About the same number of words start with letters less than K than words that start with letters greater than K, given alphabetical sequence.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:09 AM on June 13, 2013

L is an interesting letter because it can stand for Love or Life or Luffa, which is a kind of bath sponge favored by terrorists. We analyze the data, and we try to make connections, and I have a high confidence interval that the letter L is not the most dangerous, I recommend that the Agency focus more resources on the letters P and S, both of which have strong terrorist ties.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:24 AM on June 13, 2013

M was dialed for Murder, but we're still tracing the call. It might be coming from inside the house.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:27 AM on June 13, 2013

NE NME of mine is N NME of my NME's friend's NME's NME.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:32 AM on June 13, 2013

Otis didn't really invent the elevator, as some might suppose. He invented a way to keep elevator users from plummeting to their deaths. True story.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:38 AM on June 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

Puppet governments are objectionable to me because I am scared of puppets. And ventriloquism dummies.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:46 AM on June 13, 2013

Quixote, Don.

Party for two.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:47 AM on June 13, 2013

Sorry to interrupt, but I have too much work to do and I don't want to do it so I'm distracting myself.
posted by billiebee at 4:05 AM on June 13, 2013

Rats, I forgot how the alphabet goes. Again.
posted by billiebee at 4:05 AM on June 13, 2013

That's better.
posted by billiebee at 4:06 AM on June 13, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, you were the same person I met before, in that other place. Right?

I still remember you.

It's not that I'm overly focused on you.

I have my own life. Things satisfy me. I'm really quite content with things as they are.

But I noticed you. More than once. Sometimes I miss noticing you.

I hope you're well.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:18 AM on June 13, 2013

Venus is in transit, which is why your call goes straight to voice mail.
posted by Sticherbeast at 4:21 AM on June 13, 2013

Wargs howled at the border. Little did they know that they were about to have to go the to the ER because of that bad hamburger they ate earlier that day.
posted by Namlit at 4:36 AM on June 13, 2013

Xeroxing his last batch of documents, Harry put his arm nonchalantly on the glass plate. Little did he know that Assange was soon going to count his hairs.
posted by Namlit at 4:38 AM on June 13, 2013

Yarn was nestled peacefully in her decorated handbag. Little did she know that it was about to emerge and ensnare her.
posted by Namlit at 4:41 AM on June 13, 2013

Zesting a lemon, he was about to assemble the soufflé. Little did he know that it was about to turn into the mother of all souffés, bending the oven into a sphere, busting open doors and windows and lifting off the roof, before, in time for the guests' arrival, it would sink together with a sigh, and vanish.
posted by Namlit at 4:45 AM on June 13, 2013

Adam was toying with a banana. Little did he know that the script had been changed, again.
posted by Namlit at 4:46 AM on June 13, 2013

Beavers established themselves on the river island in the town center. Little did they know that Bugs Bunny was coming in the other way, having turned right at Albukoïkee.
posted by Namlit at 4:48 AM on June 13, 2013

Curious, he inserted a coin and pressed the button for the snickers bars. Little did he know that the machine was about to spit out the remains of Homer Simpson's hand.
posted by Namlit at 4:50 AM on June 13, 2013

Diligently derailing the thread, he pressed "post". Little did he know that he was about to be banhammered into smithereens.
posted by Namlit at 4:51 AM on June 13, 2013

Enormously peeved, he carried the issue over to Metatalk. Little did he anticipate the pile on that resulted from that.
posted by Namlit at 4:53 AM on June 13, 2013

Finally fed up, he turned away from the computer and took a walk. Little did he know about the bear traps that a fellow member had installed along the trail IRL.
posted by Namlit at 4:54 AM on June 13, 2013

Gloriously yawning, I subside now to my lunch break. Little do I know what comes next here...
posted by Namlit at 4:55 AM on June 13, 2013

Her armpits itched and her shoes had disappeared. Little did she know that in 24 hours time everything she knew about reiki would prove to be false.
posted by h00py at 6:30 AM on June 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

I truly believe we should all be posting as much nonsense as possible. Let's take this thing to the limit! Never give up, never surrender. So much to see, so much to do. On and on, on and on. Layer opper layer opper layer.
posted by h00py at 6:45 AM on June 13, 2013

Just in time to watch another train wreck unfold over there, I re-enter the fray. Little did I know that I didn't want to be there at all.
posted by Namlit at 7:02 AM on June 13, 2013

Kermit took a bite of his gelato. Little did he know that buried in the depths of the bowl was a de-glazing spider with big bulging eyes.
posted by Namlit at 7:03 AM on June 13, 2013

Languidly, h00py recommended the writing of nonsense upon nonsense. Little did they know that that other Meta thread was heading in just that direction.
posted by Namlit at 7:05 AM on June 13, 2013

Must stop this. Apparently the new airport express that came in the mail today is broken, and SO left in frustration to seek coffee in the city. Life is so serious.
posted by Namlit at 7:06 AM on June 13, 2013

Non sequitur. Word of the day... non sequitur. Happy non sequitur's day!
posted by Namlit at 7:14 AM on June 13, 2013

Oh, people can be so precious about their comments. I'd be stung if this one was whisked away by an overzealous mod wanting to fuck with me because it wasn't, you know, alphabetic enough. But I'd live! I'd write another and another, whilst clogging up the keyboard with tears!
posted by h00py at 7:18 AM on June 13, 2013

People next to her had already finished the test and were applying their temporary tattoos to their foreheads. Little did she know that how little she knew would actually work to her advantage in the next room.
posted by Kabanos at 7:21 AM on June 13, 2013

"Quiz?" he asked her quizzically.
posted by Kabanos at 7:23 AM on June 13, 2013

"Rather!", she replied emphatically.
posted by h00py at 7:24 AM on June 13, 2013

"Surely...", he started. She wondered how he knew her real name.
posted by Kabanos at 7:29 AM on June 13, 2013

"You can't be Sirius?", she shouted. "Don't call me that", he pouted.
posted by h00py at 7:30 AM on June 13, 2013

Tapping his foot, he got on the line to call the mods: "alphabet anarchy" he shouted into the receiver. Little did he know that on mod day, everything goes.
posted by Namlit at 7:40 AM on June 13, 2013

Underwhelmed, he slammed down the receiver again. This place is not for me he muttered. Little did he know that the door would hit his butt on the way out.
posted by Namlit at 7:42 AM on June 13, 2013

Venus entered Taurus, leaving Taurus feeling rather emasculated, but not necessarily in a bad way.
posted by Kabanos at 7:51 AM on June 13, 2013

Wagner, on the other hand, entered the ring, only to discover that it was populated with heavy singers, clad in metal and cow horn.
posted by Namlit at 7:58 AM on June 13, 2013

Xerxes was worth two x-es. That set him apart for one turn.
posted by Namlit at 8:00 AM on June 13, 2013

Xanthippe typed furiously upon the keyboard. "Fuck!", she expostulated.
posted by h00py at 8:01 AM on June 13, 2013

You type fast.
posted by h00py at 8:01 AM on June 13, 2013

You know Wagner always liked to say, "Needs more cow horn!"
posted by Kabanos at 8:02 AM on June 13, 2013

Zing zing zing went my heartstrings!
posted by h00py at 8:03 AM on June 13, 2013

Zat neets mor cau hoan.
posted by Namlit at 8:03 AM on June 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

Actually Wagner didn't say anything of the sort. Little did he know that this phrase was going to be put into his saxonian mouth long after his forever having shut it.
posted by Namlit at 8:05 AM on June 13, 2013

But did he like plow chops?
posted by Kabanos at 8:06 AM on June 13, 2013

Best friend and partner returned from router-defection and angry coffee tour with retail therapy results: a bag full of wool for a sweater. I can't wait.
posted by Namlit at 8:06 AM on June 13, 2013

Can a man who plows the field of music plow anything else besides?
posted by Namlit at 8:07 AM on June 13, 2013

Don't forget how lovely it is to witness onions transformed through caramelisation. That is an art. And it smells nice.
posted by h00py at 8:10 AM on June 13, 2013

Excellent example. Little did they know how delicious they would turn out, the smelly buggers.
posted by Namlit at 8:11 AM on June 13, 2013

Finally made it to this thread. Did I miss anything?
posted by The pets.com Mascot at 8:25 AM on June 13, 2013

For the record, Photoshop is like an onion, it has lots of layers. And too much burning does not produce good results.
posted by Kabanos at 8:25 AM on June 13, 2013

Going forward, I mostly will be eating apples. Lovely, delicious apples.
posted by arcticseal at 8:27 AM on June 13, 2013

Hasselkvist. You missed Göran Hasselkvist. And he misses you.
posted by Kabanos at 8:27 AM on June 13, 2013

Imminent doula implosion there, Hasselkvist here. I love it when things are well organized.
posted by Namlit at 8:33 AM on June 13, 2013

Just came by to say that I hope someone makes a FPP about this Supreme Court ruling. I know nothing about the issue, but I bet the thread will be a real corker.

almost to 7000!!!!!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 8:34 AM on June 13, 2013

Joda made a noise like Kermit. Little did he know that both had the same stuntman.
posted by Namlit at 8:35 AM on June 13, 2013

Kermit on the other hand knew about this. He told Joda in the pub. That's when he found out that it was a impostor.
posted by Namlit at 8:36 AM on June 13, 2013

Literally nonsense, I say, mumbled the so-called Joda with the wrong letter and shrank into the shadows.
posted by Namlit at 8:38 AM on June 13, 2013

Mary had a little lamb. Once upon a time that was innocent. Now, it's a metatopic.
posted by h00py at 8:40 AM on June 13, 2013

Nigel wiped his arse and pulled up his pants. Little did he know that an entire day was ahead of him. He was not very bright, you see.
posted by h00py at 8:47 AM on June 13, 2013

Ol' Göran Hasselkvist doesn't seem very nice.
posted by The pets.com Mascot at 8:51 AM on June 13, 2013

Perhaps he got derailed into weirdness by too much co-authoring, what do I know.
posted by Namlit at 8:56 AM on June 13, 2013

Quoi?
posted by klausness at 8:57 AM on June 13, 2013

RumbleRoller. You can roll your rumbles all over it.
posted by Kabanos at 9:00 AM on June 13, 2013

Studly!
posted by klausness at 9:04 AM on June 13, 2013

Sparkle Party! German Sparkle Party to be precise.
posted by Kabanos at 9:04 AM on June 13, 2013

This is the day my life will surely change.
posted by h00py at 9:05 AM on June 13, 2013

Unbeknownst to him, his life changed.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:07 AM on June 13, 2013

Verily, verily, verily, verily,
Life is down the drain.
posted by Kabanos at 9:10 AM on June 13, 2013

What's for lunch?
posted by Kabanos at 9:14 AM on June 13, 2013

Where is my mind?
posted by h00py at 9:15 AM on June 13, 2013

Xanadu is where I'm building a stately pleasure dome. Y'all should stop by for a visit.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:15 AM on June 13, 2013

You are a shooting star, an everlasting world and you're here with me eternally...
posted by h00py at 9:19 AM on June 13, 2013

Zephyr is an ill wind that blows nobody good
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:20 AM on June 13, 2013

Atreus, Agamemnon's father, murdered the children of his twin brother Thyestes and fed them to him after discovering Thyestes' adultery with his wife Aerope. Thyestes fathered Aegisthus with his own daughter, Pelopia, and this son vowed gruesome revenge on Atreus' children. Aegisthus successfully murdered Atreus and restored his father to the throne.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:25 AM on June 13, 2013

And we begin again. Finnegan.
posted by h00py at 9:25 AM on June 13, 2013

Buck Mulligan: stately, plump.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:34 AM on June 13, 2013

Can someone tell me if this thread ends tomorrow, or on Saturday? I'm trying to make plans.
posted by Kabanos at 9:43 AM on June 13, 2013

Coin a phrase
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:43 AM on June 13, 2013

D'ough
posted by Kabanos at 9:44 AM on June 13, 2013

Eventually all things come to an end. But it's 31 days, not 30.

Careful!
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:54 AM on June 13, 2013

Fooey. I will be up at the cottage, and internetsless. At least it's a few more hours for that last 1.5K
posted by Kabanos at 10:09 AM on June 13, 2013

Go Alphabethread Go!
posted by Kabanos at 10:10 AM on June 13, 2013

Hail to the alphabetagammadelta lords.
posted by adamvasco at 10:13 AM on June 13, 2013

I like this Star Wars alphabet.
posted by Kabanos at 10:16 AM on June 13, 2013

Just think, after this we can have an alfalfabet thread. I don't know how that will work, but I'm sure it will be healthy.
posted by Kabanos at 10:17 AM on June 13, 2013

Kale. Roughage keeps the comments flowing regularly.
posted by Kabanos at 10:29 AM on June 13, 2013

Look at that! They were giving away orgasms upthread, and I missed it.
Story of my life.
posted by Kabanos at 10:36 AM on June 13, 2013

My favorite work of Shakespeare is Everyman His Own Wife Or, A Honeymoon in the Hand (A National Immorality in Three Orgasms).
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:40 AM on June 13, 2013

Now just to be clear, we expect closure here at 5:48pm on June 15, yes?
posted by donnagirl at 11:16 AM on June 13, 2013

Or whatever your timezone equivalent is. Mine is Central US.
posted by donnagirl at 11:17 AM on June 13, 2013

Please yourself, to combine two themes
posted by shothotbot at 11:28 AM on June 13, 2013

Quite exactly, the thread should end on June 15 at the very last second of 5:47pm Central time. But there may be a lag of a second or two.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:30 AM on June 13, 2013

Real closure may take a good while longer to find though.
posted by Kabanos at 11:32 AM on June 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

Stuff like this freaks me out.
posted by Kabanos at 11:33 AM on June 13, 2013

Surely the trauma consultants are being prepositioned in strategic spots.
posted by shothotbot at 11:33 AM on June 13, 2013

They can disguise themselves as mailboxes too.
posted by shothotbot at 11:34 AM on June 13, 2013

Under my house there lives one that goes as a chainsaw on full-moon nights...
posted by Namlit at 12:19 PM on June 13, 2013

Vile monsters, disguised as household apparatuses.
posted by Namlit at 12:20 PM on June 13, 2013

We are having an eye on our moka pot - largely because I simply know it looks at me with that pressure valve when I turn my back.
posted by Namlit at 12:21 PM on June 13, 2013

X is actually a disguised xoctopus
posted by Namlit at 12:22 PM on June 13, 2013

You wouldn't believe it if you saw it IRL, but there you are...
posted by Namlit at 12:22 PM on June 13, 2013

Zoinks! I had Xenentodon cancila all ready to go!
posted by shothotbot at 12:25 PM on June 13, 2013

Alternating posters optimize alphabet game.
posted by maggieb at 1:01 PM on June 13, 2013

But is an optimized game any fun?
posted by kaibutsu at 1:03 PM on June 13, 2013

Cutting in with a content-free metacomment, without taking the time to read recent thread developments, might help. Or not.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:32 PM on June 13, 2013

Derpitude is a meta-feature.
posted by maggieb at 1:41 PM on June 13, 2013

Entropotic ennui seems to be easing in.
posted by adamvasco at 2:08 PM on June 13, 2013

For shame.
posted by klausness at 2:10 PM on June 13, 2013

Goody for Our Side and Your Side Too
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:21 PM on June 13, 2013

Halp
posted by Kabanos at 2:23 PM on June 13, 2013

I need somebody!
posted by daisyk at 2:25 PM on June 13, 2013

Just not anybody.
posted by daisyk at 2:25 PM on June 13, 2013

I Can Help
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:25 PM on June 13, 2013

Kidding. Really almost anyone would do.
But ideally, i need somebody...
posted by daisyk at 2:26 PM on June 13, 2013

Listen...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:27 PM on June 13, 2013

Like yoo-oou.
posted by daisyk at 2:27 PM on June 13, 2013

meep.
posted by Kabanos at 2:53 PM on June 13, 2013

New force behind the thriving Canadian film industry...
posted by Kabanos at 3:00 PM on June 13, 2013

Oosh!
posted by Kabanos at 3:11 PM on June 13, 2013

P'tang, Yang, Kipperbang
posted by Kabanos at 3:12 PM on June 13, 2013

quipping forbidden.
posted by Namlit at 3:22 PM on June 13, 2013

rather restlessly, we read, we suffer from
posted by Namlit at 3:22 PM on June 13, 2013

semantic saturation. tis true someone wrote that in the other thread. My saturated mind boggles.
posted by Namlit at 3:23 PM on June 13, 2013

Time for me to lay my mind to rest. I have peppermint tea (see, infini? i did it). It's so soothing!
posted by Namlit at 3:25 PM on June 13, 2013

U go on.
posted by Namlit at 3:26 PM on June 13, 2013

Various visitors appear to have left.
posted by klausness at 3:47 PM on June 13, 2013

We wonder why....
posted by klausness at 3:49 PM on June 13, 2013

Yet you youngsters yearn for answers.
posted by klausness at 3:50 PM on June 13, 2013

Zzzzz.....
posted by klausness at 3:51 PM on June 13, 2013

And... 48 hours, 1200 comments from the record.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:53 PM on June 13, 2013

Because it's there.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:53 PM on June 13, 2013

Calculations suggest that a steady one-comment-every-2.4-minutes pace will get us there.
posted by box at 4:03 PM on June 13, 2013

Dang, though, that's a lot of comments.
posted by box at 4:03 PM on June 13, 2013

Engadget could do it, if it was a post about, like, running Android on an iPhone.
posted by box at 4:05 PM on June 13, 2013

Facebook could do it, if they announced that they were going to implement a feature where you could click on someone's profile and see the information that FB sells about them to their advertisers.
posted by box at 4:06 PM on June 13, 2013

Grantland could do it, if Tim Tebow did a guest shot on Mad Men and then Rembert explained the video.
posted by box at 4:08 PM on June 13, 2013

Hypothetical 1200-comment posts on popular sites? Could that be a thing?
posted by box at 4:09 PM on June 13, 2013

Instagram could do it if enough hipsters had lunch.
posted by klausness at 4:23 PM on June 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

Just tweak a beloved site feature on Mefi, and we could do it ourselves.
posted by donnagirl at 4:27 PM on June 13, 2013

(Xcuse me for skipping a letter above)
posted by klausness at 4:35 PM on June 13, 2013

Kickstarter could do it if all posters got hand curated special mention platinum packages.
posted by shothotbot at 4:56 PM on June 13, 2013

Klausness, don't fret. The train may hit a few bumps, but it always gets back on track.
posted by booksherpa at 4:57 PM on June 13, 2013

Long is the race: we can still win this.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:00 PM on June 13, 2013

Lifehacker could do it with 'Twenty Reasons to Switch Back to a Dumbphone.'
posted by box at 5:01 PM on June 13, 2013

Miles to go: one step at a time.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:01 PM on June 13, 2013

MetaFilter could do it with another election. But that's what the Alphabethread is intended to replace...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:01 PM on June 13, 2013

No, that's what chat is supposed to be for.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:03 PM on June 13, 2013

OOOOOOOOOH... 7000...
(or 7K for the not-strictly-binary-based)
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:03 PM on June 13, 2013

P. I can't think of anything for P.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:07 PM on June 13, 2013

Quick! Think of something!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:08 PM on June 13, 2013

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?
posted by double block and bleed at 5:10 PM on June 13, 2013

Six months off...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:11 PM on June 13, 2013

Thousand times seven (plus one)
posted by shothotbot at 5:14 PM on June 13, 2013

Ugh, just realized I'm unlikely to be around when it closes. That makes me sad. I need to get a life.
posted by donnagirl at 5:15 PM on June 13, 2013

Wil controls us all...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:16 PM on June 13, 2013

Vamoose back to V, please
posted by shothotbot at 5:28 PM on June 13, 2013

Will do.
posted by donnagirl at 6:07 PM on June 13, 2013

Xcuse me, but HypnoWil was supposed to make all of you overlook that...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:13 PM on June 13, 2013

Yet,
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:15 PM on June 13, 2013

Zero
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:15 PM on June 13, 2013

Attempts
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:16 PM on June 13, 2013

Been
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:16 PM on June 13, 2013

Coming
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:17 PM on June 13, 2013

Down
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:17 PM on June 13, 2013

Ever
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:17 PM on June 13, 2013

For
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:18 PM on June 13, 2013

Getting
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:18 PM on June 13, 2013

...huh...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:19 PM on June 13, 2013

I've
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:20 PM on June 13, 2013

Imperatives:
posted by box at 6:21 PM on June 13, 2013

Just
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:21 PM on June 13, 2013

Kinda
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:21 PM on June 13, 2013

Kill
posted by shothotbot at 6:21 PM on June 13, 2013

Lost
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:22 PM on June 13, 2013

My
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:22 PM on June 13, 2013

Normal
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:23 PM on June 13, 2013

Operating
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:23 PM on June 13, 2013

Procedure.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:23 PM on June 13, 2013

Quickly
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:24 PM on June 13, 2013

Query: If this thread doesn't break the record will you record yourself crying and share with us all, foop?
posted by Mizu at 6:24 PM on June 13, 2013

Quiet. No the opposite of that.
posted by shothotbot at 6:24 PM on June 13, 2013

Repeat
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:24 PM on June 13, 2013

Some
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:25 PM on June 13, 2013

Truly
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:25 PM on June 13, 2013

Understood
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:26 PM on June 13, 2013

Va... Ve... Vi... Vo... Vu... I got nothing.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:27 PM on June 13, 2013

well, I came kinda close to a full alphabet run, one word at a time, making ALMOST coherent sentences...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:28 PM on June 13, 2013

Xtra note: when getting to "I", I attempted to enter "I"... but after I hit the "Post" button, instead of adding it to the thread, it just reloaded the page and took me to a place several days ago where I had used "I" for a comment. I FOUND A BUG!

now GET IT OFF ME!
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:30 PM on June 13, 2013

Yes, Mizu, I will upload a video of myself committing seppuku... no wait, I need to get somebody else to upload it for me, whatever.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:32 PM on June 13, 2013

Zzzzzzz the one word run attempts are not fun and make me sleepy.
posted by donnagirl at 6:52 PM on June 13, 2013

Aaaaand I'm out...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:55 PM on June 13, 2013

Back in the day, alphabet threads were more common. I wonder why.
posted by donnagirl at 7:08 PM on June 13, 2013

Cat memes. The cat memes have sucked away all the attention that would've otherwise been devoted to alphabet threads. BEWARE THE CAT MEMES.
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:33 PM on June 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

Damn! You beat me to C!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:34 PM on June 13, 2013

Everybody beats me to C.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:35 PM on June 13, 2013

Fuck it, I'm outta here too
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:35 PM on June 13, 2013

G is just a C with handlebars, btw.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:36 PM on June 13, 2013

Handlebar, more like it.
posted by donnagirl at 7:40 PM on June 13, 2013

I don't see why cat memes and alphabet threads couldn't be joined. Surely there's a cat meme for every letter.
posted by donnagirl at 7:41 PM on June 13, 2013

Handlebars? Who needs handlebars?
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:43 PM on June 13, 2013

Just because the handlebars overlap in profile view doesn't mean they aren't both there.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:43 PM on June 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

Killing comment preview, this thread is.
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:46 PM on June 13, 2013

Lacking any ability to comment after cortex blew my goddamn mind.
posted by donnagirl at 7:48 PM on June 13, 2013

Love it or leave it.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:48 PM on June 13, 2013

Merde!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:49 PM on June 13, 2013

Not leaving, must be loving.
posted by donnagirl at 8:03 PM on June 13, 2013

OK, that's good!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:06 PM on June 13, 2013

Pondering letter handlebars is all I can do now.
posted by donnagirl at 8:16 PM on June 13, 2013

I agree or disagree with most (ok some) of the things written here.
posted by tiamat at 9:07 PM on June 13, 2013

Quality failure.
posted by donnagirl at 9:13 PM on June 13, 2013

Red rain washes away our sins.
posted by maggieb at 9:45 PM on June 13, 2013

Saves our souls.
posted by donnagirl at 10:30 PM on June 13, 2013

TAKE IT, JEWEL
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:31 PM on June 13, 2013

Unfortunately, Jewel was unable to be here tonight. Our special surprise replacement is....
posted by donnagirl at 10:36 PM on June 13, 2013

Vivaldi.
posted by maggieb at 10:40 PM on June 13, 2013

Wonderful! You'll just want to take these knives away because Vivaldi makes me a little stabby.
posted by donnagirl at 10:44 PM on June 13, 2013

X-rays reveal that the wounds are not lethal unless MRSA intervenes.
posted by maggieb at 11:14 PM on June 13, 2013

You know, I could have spent the time I've spent on this alphabet thread planning for my retirement. But no.

You people will make me suffer in my old age.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:29 PM on June 13, 2013

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Zip-A-Dee-A
My oh my what a wonderful day
Plenty of sunshine headed my way
Here comes a word that start with an...
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:46 PM on June 13, 2013

Alright then. I was talking about this with Shorty, who isn't really that short, and he told me to come clean about this.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:44 AM on June 14, 2013

Because Shorty wasn't there when the crime happened.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:45 AM on June 14, 2013

Cleverly disguised, he was, but Shorty didn't see us do the crime.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:46 AM on June 14, 2013

Drugs were involved. I'm not happy about my role in that crime.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:47 AM on June 14, 2013

Even if drugs weren't involved... it still embarrasses me to admit that I was there.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:47 AM on June 14, 2013

First and foremost... I wasn't there when the crime happened.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:48 AM on June 14, 2013

Grief this moves fast, I was going to say ''Can't get him then can we.''
posted by adamvasco at 12:49 AM on June 14, 2013

Huh, who was here when the crime happened?
posted by Namlit at 12:56 AM on June 14, 2013

I'm asking because I woke up to a rather clear vision of what was happening...
posted by Namlit at 12:56 AM on June 14, 2013

Just entering into a speakeasy was that cop...
posted by Namlit at 12:58 AM on June 14, 2013

Kartoon, pardon, cartoon characters fled the scene and
posted by Namlit at 12:59 AM on June 14, 2013

left were only two humans and a stodgy walking cat.
posted by Namlit at 1:00 AM on June 14, 2013

Must have been around the time I woke up.
posted by Namlit at 1:00 AM on June 14, 2013

Now there must be a connection to twoleft's story.
posted by Namlit at 1:01 AM on June 14, 2013

or am I dreaming this up?
posted by Namlit at 1:01 AM on June 14, 2013

peut-être.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:02 AM on June 14, 2013

Quiet the mind. That's a basic tenet of the Zen Buddhist community I visited recently.

They're a pretty good bunch of folks, but not much fun when it comes to celebrating New Years.

No fireworks. No real recognition of the passage of time.

Fucking Zen monks.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:07 AM on June 14, 2013

Rock n Roll bothers me because I really like the Roll but not the Rock.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:10 AM on June 14, 2013

So... It's pretty clear, what's going to happen, I mean.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:52 AM on June 14, 2013

That isn't something that has to happen. Please put away the pliers.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:53 AM on June 14, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, you pissed off the Big Guy. I need the pliers. It's nothing personal.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:53 AM on June 14, 2013

Various ways of dealing with this that don't involve torture. Don't you agree? Please put away the pliers.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:53 AM on June 14, 2013

What are you talking about? Don't you understand the relationship between the person who is tortured and the torturer? What kind of dream world do you live in?
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:54 AM on June 14, 2013

X. Look at that X. This letter already died for my sins. Please let me go.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:54 AM on June 14, 2013

You don't understand Freedom. I can't let you go until you understand that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:54 AM on June 14, 2013

Zen monks understand freedom.
posted by klausness at 2:04 AM on June 14, 2013

Artificial Intelligence will not be possible until we develop natural intelligence.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:10 AM on June 14, 2013

Bailey
posted by klausness at 2:10 AM on June 14, 2013

Bots. A name for Robots, but saving one syllable.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:11 AM on June 14, 2013

Cromarty
posted by klausness at 2:11 AM on June 14, 2013

Dogger
posted by klausness at 2:12 AM on June 14, 2013

Fisher
posted by klausness at 2:13 AM on June 14, 2013

German Bight
posted by klausness at 2:13 AM on June 14, 2013

Humber
posted by klausness at 2:14 AM on June 14, 2013

Irish Sea
posted by klausness at 2:15 AM on June 14, 2013

Jersey (throwing in a coastal weather station here)
posted by klausness at 2:21 AM on June 14, 2013

Kent is not part of the shipping forecast, but nothing with a K is...
posted by klausness at 2:24 AM on June 14, 2013

Lundy
posted by klausness at 2:25 AM on June 14, 2013

Malin
posted by klausness at 2:25 AM on June 14, 2013

North Utsire
posted by klausness at 2:26 AM on June 14, 2013

Oh no! Another shipping forecast gap!
posted by klausness at 2:27 AM on June 14, 2013

Plymouth
posted by klausness at 2:27 AM on June 14, 2013

Quite unsurprising that there's no Q.
posted by klausness at 2:28 AM on June 14, 2013

Rockall
posted by klausness at 2:29 AM on June 14, 2013

Shannon
posted by klausness at 2:29 AM on June 14, 2013

Trafalgar
posted by klausness at 2:30 AM on June 14, 2013

Utsire, South (OK, cheating a bit)
posted by klausness at 2:31 AM on June 14, 2013

Viking
posted by klausness at 2:32 AM on June 14, 2013

Wight
posted by klausness at 2:33 AM on June 14, 2013

X is, as usual, a difficult one...
posted by klausness at 2:33 AM on June 14, 2013

Yet there's no Y, either...
posted by klausness at 2:34 AM on June 14, 2013

Z is missing from the shipping forecast as well...
posted by klausness at 2:35 AM on June 14, 2013

Aberporth is another coastal weather station
posted by klausness at 2:36 AM on June 14, 2013

Boulmer
posted by klausness at 2:38 AM on June 14, 2013

Channel Light Vessel Automatic
posted by klausness at 2:39 AM on June 14, 2013

Dover
posted by klausness at 2:41 AM on June 14, 2013

Evidently, I'm not so familiar with the alphabet, since I also left out an E before.
posted by klausness at 2:42 AM on June 14, 2013

(Extra one here to make up for the one I left out)
posted by klausness at 2:43 AM on June 14, 2013

FitzRoy (or Finisterre, if you prefer)
posted by klausness at 2:44 AM on June 14, 2013

Greenwich Light Vessel Automatic
posted by klausness at 2:44 AM on June 14, 2013

Hebrides, Force 9, rising. Or, something.
posted by Wordshore at 2:47 AM on June 14, 2013

Identity, losing its
posted by klausness at 2:48 AM on June 14, 2013

Jeepers, have I driven evereyone else away?
posted by klausness at 3:47 AM on June 14, 2013

Krk. I don't think so. It always feels that way when one goes on a spree, but what the hey. Also, lunch breaks are only every now and then. Other nows and thens, one tends to work is the trouble...
posted by Namlit at 4:16 AM on June 14, 2013

Last time we had a shopping list game?
posted by Namlit at 4:18 AM on June 14, 2013

Mustard (the Transylvanian kind with dragon and other unidentified chunks)
posted by Namlit at 4:19 AM on June 14, 2013

Nachos
posted by Namlit at 4:20 AM on June 14, 2013

Orc steak
posted by Namlit at 4:20 AM on June 14, 2013

Persistency (comes in six-packs)
posted by Namlit at 4:21 AM on June 14, 2013

Quash (squash of a lesser degree of freshness)
posted by Namlit at 4:22 AM on June 14, 2013

Rat-ennoui (very effective. Yawning drug for house pests)
posted by Namlit at 4:23 AM on June 14, 2013

Sandy bars (makes you grit your teeth)
posted by Namlit at 4:24 AM on June 14, 2013

Tweezers (because someone has put away the pliers)
posted by Namlit at 4:25 AM on June 14, 2013

Ululations (in that corner past the liver and the kidneys)
posted by Namlit at 4:27 AM on June 14, 2013

Veritaserum (don't ask or I'll tell you the truth about it).
posted by Namlit at 4:28 AM on June 14, 2013

Wankery Dates (freshly imported from Nerdistan)
posted by Namlit at 4:28 AM on June 14, 2013

Xork chops (watch out for bone splinters; butchering ain't what it used to be)
posted by Namlit at 4:29 AM on June 14, 2013

Yeast doodles (you know cheese doodles, right?)
posted by Namlit at 4:30 AM on June 14, 2013

Zinfunkdel (no fan of this but what are you gonna do)
posted by Namlit at 4:32 AM on June 14, 2013

Anchor fish (The salted kind in olive oil)
posted by Namlit at 4:34 AM on June 14, 2013

Boiled reef
posted by klausness at 4:51 AM on June 14, 2013

Conversation stopper.
posted by klausness at 5:33 AM on June 14, 2013

D'oh nuts
posted by Namlit at 5:38 AM on June 14, 2013

Episodes 1567 thru 1598 of "Lost" (in the wtf carton with DVDs)
posted by Namlit at 5:40 AM on June 14, 2013

Funkozola
posted by Namlit at 5:41 AM on June 14, 2013

Grariggianl Amirightiano
posted by Namlit at 5:41 AM on June 14, 2013

Hashgreens
posted by Namlit at 5:42 AM on June 14, 2013

iBroom. I need a new iBroom...
posted by Namlit at 5:43 AM on June 14, 2013

Jellied beams
posted by klausness at 5:44 AM on June 14, 2013

Killmany beer
posted by Namlit at 5:46 AM on June 14, 2013

Lawberries (next to the orderberries)
posted by Namlit at 5:48 AM on June 14, 2013

Marmite (there. I said it)
posted by Namlit at 5:50 AM on June 14, 2013

Nargles (they come in bunches. €3.45 each)
posted by Namlit at 5:51 AM on June 14, 2013

Otto Manwiches
posted by klausness at 6:05 AM on June 14, 2013

Pasta remover
posted by Namlit at 6:09 AM on June 14, 2013

Quack Rocks.
posted by box at 6:10 AM on June 14, 2013

Quilting sauce
posted by Namlit at 6:10 AM on June 14, 2013

Rock quacks
posted by Namlit at 6:11 AM on June 14, 2013

Sackbutts
posted by Namlit at 6:11 AM on June 14, 2013

Slurr-rr-rry!
posted by box at 6:12 AM on June 14, 2013

Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic
posted by klausness at 6:12 AM on June 14, 2013

Ugly Vegetables.
posted by box at 6:13 AM on June 14, 2013

T-rexes, pickled
posted by Namlit at 6:13 AM on June 14, 2013

Wax pancakes.
posted by box at 6:13 AM on June 14, 2013

Vendetta: Ben and Jerries' newest.
posted by Namlit at 6:14 AM on June 14, 2013

Xylofruit.
posted by box at 6:15 AM on June 14, 2013

X-beans. Mutant and crunchy
posted by Namlit at 6:15 AM on June 14, 2013

Yoginigurt.
posted by box at 6:15 AM on June 14, 2013

Zirconium cubes
posted by klausness at 6:16 AM on June 14, 2013

Zen martini--sip a glass of gin while meditating on the concept of vermouth.
posted by box at 6:16 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ah - back to cocktails? Meditation?
posted by Namlit at 6:17 AM on June 14, 2013

Baptist Beer--just like regular beer, except you have to drink it semi-secretly, in your garage.
posted by box at 6:18 AM on June 14, 2013

CarBeer--just like regular beer, but drunk by 16y olds during a car trip under the window line, for in case a cop looks.
posted by Namlit at 6:24 AM on June 14, 2013

Dubi-beer -- just like regular beer but cheaper
posted by Namlit at 6:25 AM on June 14, 2013

E-beer. Virtually perfect.
posted by Namlit at 6:26 AM on June 14, 2013

Flaming Moes. No beer at all.
posted by Namlit at 6:27 AM on June 14, 2013

Ginger beer. Drink beer backwards in high heels.
posted by klausness at 6:59 AM on June 14, 2013

Highly hopped beer. Put beer in a kangaroo's pouch before opening.
posted by klausness at 7:00 AM on June 14, 2013

iBeer. Enjoy it on our patio in the walled garden!
posted by Kabanos at 7:03 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

jBeer. Enjoy this JRun error.
posted by klausness at 7:11 AM on June 14, 2013

Koka Kola, Amerika's favorite drinc.
posted by shothotbot at 7:13 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Light beer. Why for the love of God?
posted by Kabanos at 7:23 AM on June 14, 2013

Milkshakes!
posted by shothotbot at 7:25 AM on June 14, 2013

Near beer. See Light Beer above.
posted by Kabanos at 7:26 AM on June 14, 2013

Obfuscated Beer: The drink your friends can't bogart.
posted by kaibutsu at 7:30 AM on June 14, 2013

Pee break. Too much beer.
posted by Kabanos at 7:31 AM on June 14, 2013

Qbeert.
posted by Kabanos at 7:39 AM on June 14, 2013

Rabbit Stewed with Cherries in Rodenbach Beer
posted by Kabanos at 7:43 AM on June 14, 2013

Should link to Bacon or Beer Can just for good measure.
posted by Kabanos at 7:47 AM on June 14, 2013

Tusker!
posted by kaibutsu at 7:48 AM on June 14, 2013

U of Beer
posted by Kabanos at 7:54 AM on June 14, 2013

Voronoi fun
posted by Kabanos at 8:02 AM on June 14, 2013

WOOOOOooooooooo
posted by Kabanos at 8:07 AM on June 14, 2013

Xfinity is what cable company Comcast decided to call itself after a recent rebranding. That's right - Xfinity. You know they must have paid some brand Xpert an Xtremely large amount of money for that Xcrement.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:23 AM on June 14, 2013

YouTube is a dumb name. The internet is not a series of tubes.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:24 AM on June 14, 2013

Xylem and phloem face.
posted by Kabanos at 8:25 AM on June 14, 2013

Zillow is a site devoted to real estate. How did they get a name like that? It's a mixture of zilch and pillow. How is that supposed to remind me of real estate?
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:26 AM on June 14, 2013

Altavista sounds like an assisted-living condominium community. Which is appropriate, as the only people who stay there are very old.
posted by box at 8:27 AM on June 14, 2013

ACME is a great name for a company. All companies should have ACME in their name.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:28 AM on June 14, 2013

You know the letter Y is really offended you guys.
posted by Kabanos at 8:28 AM on June 14, 2013

Box.net keeps telling me the check's in the mail.
posted by box at 8:29 AM on June 14, 2013

Bolshoi ballet acme company
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:29 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Comcacme.
posted by box at 8:30 AM on June 14, 2013

Corporation for Public ACME Broadcasting
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:31 AM on June 14, 2013

Doubles galore here.
posted by klausness at 8:31 AM on June 14, 2013

Doubles galore here.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:31 AM on June 14, 2013

Emirates ACME Airlines
posted by Kabanos at 8:33 AM on June 14, 2013

Fast ACME Company
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:35 AM on June 14, 2013

G. ACME E.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:36 AM on June 14, 2013

Freddie Macme
posted by Kabanos at 8:36 AM on June 14, 2013

Hallibacmerton
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:36 AM on June 14, 2013

Hell!
posted by Kabanos at 8:37 AM on June 14, 2013

International United Corporation Consolidated Acme Acme Acme
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:37 AM on June 14, 2013

Jacme Juice
posted by Kabanos at 8:38 AM on June 14, 2013

K-macmemart
posted by Kabanos at 8:39 AM on June 14, 2013

Lamborghacme
posted by Kabanos at 8:41 AM on June 14, 2013

MacmeDonalds
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:43 AM on June 14, 2013

MAC ACME
posted by Kabanos at 8:43 AM on June 14, 2013

National Unlimited Acme Corporation International Limited
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:44 AM on June 14, 2013

Occupational Safety and Health Acme
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:45 AM on June 14, 2013

Pacmen
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:46 AM on June 14, 2013

Peoples Republic of ACME
posted by Kabanos at 8:46 AM on June 14, 2013

Qwacme
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:47 AM on June 14, 2013

Rent-an-Acme
posted by Kabanos at 8:48 AM on June 14, 2013

SACME
posted by Kabanos at 8:49 AM on June 14, 2013

Tiffany & Co. & Acme
posted by Kabanos at 8:50 AM on June 14, 2013

TACME
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:50 AM on June 14, 2013

United Acmeworkers
posted by Kabanos at 8:51 AM on June 14, 2013

Vespacme
posted by Kabanos at 8:51 AM on June 14, 2013

WACME
posted by Kabanos at 8:53 AM on June 14, 2013

XACME
posted by klausness at 8:54 AM on June 14, 2013

You know, it's really funny that the Washington Association of Coroners and Medical Examiners is called WACME, I just have to say.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:56 AM on June 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

ZOMG - I was just searchng Young Republicans (trying to decide where to put the Acme) and the top google result was "Viagra Young Republican National Federation, Inc."
posted by Kabanos at 8:59 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

And that site may be compromised, according to Google.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:00 AM on June 14, 2013

But that gives me an idea. Let's put viagra in everything!
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:01 AM on June 14, 2013

Coca-Viagra?
posted by Kabanos at 9:02 AM on June 14, 2013

Did you mean in names? Or in the food and drinks of our co-workers?
posted by Kabanos at 9:03 AM on June 14, 2013

Each way is good. Some ways are harder.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:03 AM on June 14, 2013

For example: One, two, three, four, viagra, sex,....
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:04 AM on June 14, 2013

Godiviagra. Lady Godiviagra.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:08 AM on June 14, 2013

Half life of Viagra is 3 to 4 hours.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:10 AM on June 14, 2013

If you take half a Viagra, do you go off half-cocked?
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:11 AM on June 14, 2013

Just a sort of strobe effect. Hard on, hard off, hard on, hard off,...
posted by Kabanos at 9:14 AM on June 14, 2013

Just for 1.5 to 2 hours.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:15 AM on June 14, 2013

Kellog's Honey-Nut Viagara
posted by Kabanos at 9:16 AM on June 14, 2013

Live and let liviagra
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:18 AM on June 14, 2013

Many people submit job applications by email which are never received because spam filters block any message containing a word like "speCIALISt". True story.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:27 AM on June 14, 2013

Niagra Falls. But Viagra stays up.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:28 AM on June 14, 2013

On a wing and a prayer and a pill that keeps it hard.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:30 AM on June 14, 2013

Quaigrav - downward and backward
posted by Namlit at 9:30 AM on June 14, 2013

Right? The Q looks like no viagra
posted by Namlit at 9:33 AM on June 14, 2013

Stay up at night, I guess.
posted by Namlit at 9:34 AM on June 14, 2013

Teaagra. New creation from Twinings
posted by Namlit at 9:41 AM on June 14, 2013

Please don't skip viagra letters.
posted by klausness at 9:41 AM on June 14, 2013

USBagra. Plug and play
posted by Namlit at 9:42 AM on June 14, 2013

Viagra viagra.
posted by klausness at 9:42 AM on June 14, 2013

Verified by Visagra. The safety package
posted by Namlit at 9:42 AM on June 14, 2013

Vini, Vidi, Vici, Viagra. ("I came, I saw, I conquered. Then I came again.")
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:42 AM on June 14, 2013

Was anticipating a quicker pace with this topic. Sorry.
posted by Namlit at 9:44 AM on June 14, 2013

Wearagra. Is what happens at the end
posted by Namlit at 9:44 AM on June 14, 2013

You are forgiven
posted by klausness at 9:45 AM on June 14, 2013

Xoink-agra. Overdose
posted by Namlit at 9:45 AM on June 14, 2013

Youch agra. It ain't fitting no more.
posted by Namlit at 9:46 AM on June 14, 2013

Zooagra. Helping pandas get it on.
posted by shothotbot at 9:47 AM on June 14, 2013

About time to mention that the official record is 8,218 comments. About 30 hours to go.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:53 AM on June 14, 2013

Be good or be gone
posted by greenish at 9:55 AM on June 14, 2013

Can we neglect our employers, families and friends enough to make 1000 more comments in the next 30 hours? Sure we can!
posted by shothotbot at 10:00 AM on June 14, 2013

Damn straight.
posted by flabdablet at 10:04 AM on June 14, 2013

Easy peasy.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:04 AM on June 14, 2013

Fred Bison V
posted by flabdablet at 10:09 AM on June 14, 2013

Good old fashioned pain
posted by flabdablet at 10:15 AM on June 14, 2013

Have to average a bit over a comment every two minutes.
posted by klausness at 10:17 AM on June 14, 2013

I care more about this thread than that stuff anyway.
posted by billiebee at 10:22 AM on June 14, 2013

In A Gadda Da Vida
posted by flabdablet at 10:22 AM on June 14, 2013

Jammy Jam
posted by Kabanos at 10:37 AM on June 14, 2013

KISS
posted by Kabanos at 10:38 AM on June 14, 2013

Lunch break on the Death Star
posted by Kabanos at 10:39 AM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Led Zeppelin wearing red trousers at some French people
posted by flabdablet at 10:40 AM on June 14, 2013

Make your own moose outfit. You sickos.
posted by Kabanos at 10:41 AM on June 14, 2013

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink".

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
posted by shothotbot at 10:56 AM on June 14, 2013

Nude plumbers
posted by flabdablet at 10:56 AM on June 14, 2013

Oooooookay, I'm not clicking on that at work.
posted by EvaDestruction at 11:01 AM on June 14, 2013

Please do it and tell me what it says.
posted by shothotbot at 11:04 AM on June 14, 2013

Quiet Sunday driving
posted by flabdablet at 11:07 AM on June 14, 2013

Really? I am skeptical. I am also unsure how I'm going to survive this afternoon without chocolate.
posted by EvaDestruction at 11:12 AM on June 14, 2013

Steven Wright any use to you?
posted by flabdablet at 11:16 AM on June 14, 2013

Stay away from the Lady Godiviagra.
posted by Kabanos at 11:16 AM on June 14, 2013

There's only enough left in my allowance for beer tonight. Eyes. On. The Prize.
posted by EvaDestruction at 11:24 AM on June 14, 2013

Unbelievable! This thread is still going? Don't you people sleep?
posted by croutonsupafreak at 11:53 AM on June 14, 2013

Vivoleum keeps it moving.
posted by flabdablet at 11:59 AM on June 14, 2013

We sleep not. Never. (We're also benefitting from the earth being somewhat roundish. There's overlaps and peaks, but there has been a pretty constant trickle.)
posted by Namlit at 12:08 PM on June 14, 2013

Xtreme threading is what we're known for.
posted by EvaDestruction at 12:12 PM on June 14, 2013

X is often the place where people decide to go to sleep. Like "fuck it, I'm not going to think about X. I'll just go to bed."

But not this time.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:12 PM on June 14, 2013

Yup. One usually gets across the Q somehow (how many times.....) but then one
posted by Namlit at 12:15 PM on June 14, 2013

Zaps into no-mode at the verra end.
posted by Namlit at 12:15 PM on June 14, 2013

Again arriving at the top, on the other hand, invites to some throwing-away-of-letters frivolity.
posted by Namlit at 12:16 PM on June 14, 2013

Behold the inner workings of alphabet threading.
posted by Namlit at 12:17 PM on June 14, 2013

Could be called meta meta meta information, sort of.
posted by Namlit at 12:18 PM on June 14, 2013

Dreariest at this point is the long re-load wait, 'cause it cuts down on sleep hours.
posted by Namlit at 12:19 PM on June 14, 2013

Everybody remember the Zamboni Rule? This rule states that instead of beginning a novel comment with a Z, the player is allowed to simply state "Zamboni!"

This is clearly spelled out in the Official Rules of Alphabet Games on page 138.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:19 PM on June 14, 2013

Finding this page takes several months of diligent scrolling. Another one of the truths established during this heroic collective effort.
posted by Namlit at 12:21 PM on June 14, 2013

Greatly to be preferred to other Meta threads that are based on a ton of persistent trolling, it just strikes me...
posted by Namlit at 12:23 PM on June 14, 2013

Googling "metatalk" currently brings up this page as the first result. For me anyway.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:23 PM on June 14, 2013

Have I just said that? oops
posted by Namlit at 12:23 PM on June 14, 2013

I think that may be because of personalized google. Log out of G+ and see if it's still the same.
posted by Namlit at 12:25 PM on June 14, 2013

Just found the entry back that said
posted by Namlit at 12:26 PM on June 14, 2013

"Krikey". Reminds me of cousin Matthew from Downton Abbey.
posted by Namlit at 12:27 PM on June 14, 2013

Let's not cry for Matthew. He died so young.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:49 PM on June 14, 2013

Matthew had just seen his child for the first time when he went off the road. How fucked up is that?
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:50 PM on June 14, 2013

No spoilers please.
posted by Namlit at 12:51 PM on June 14, 2013

Only one spoiler: Mary may find a new romance.

How long will it take for her to get over Matthew?
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:52 PM on June 14, 2013

Please not Hugh Grant.
posted by Kabanos at 12:56 PM on June 14, 2013

Pretend you didn't hear any of that. Travel back to an earlier time. A gentler time. Season 2. Where only a World War seems important.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:57 PM on June 14, 2013

Quite possible that it's either Hugh Grant or Pierce Brosnan.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:59 PM on June 14, 2013

Really, how many British actors can Americans recognize?
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:01 PM on June 14, 2013

So let's see... There's Mr. Bean...
posted by Kabanos at 1:03 PM on June 14, 2013

Trololo Baggins...
posted by Namlit at 1:04 PM on June 14, 2013

Um... that Dyson Vacuum guy.
posted by Kabanos at 1:04 PM on June 14, 2013

Uh, sorry, Mr. Wood onlay spaykes Brittischsh
posted by Namlit at 1:05 PM on June 14, 2013

V. I say only V British actors can be recognized. I don't know why I'm using Roman numerals.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:06 PM on June 14, 2013

Wind in the Willows. I think those animals were British actors.
posted by Kabanos at 1:07 PM on June 14, 2013

X. Maybe X can be recognized. At most.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:08 PM on June 14, 2013

Yikes, no – I'm thinking of Tales of the Riverbank. Good old Hammy Hamster.
posted by Kabanos at 1:09 PM on June 14, 2013

Zamboni!
posted by EvaDestruction at 1:09 PM on June 14, 2013

Actually I think he was American, although Canadians would probably love to claim him as their own.
posted by Kabanos at 1:11 PM on June 14, 2013

Bambini is pretty cool though. Must get one.
posted by Kabanos at 1:13 PM on June 14, 2013

Combining two themes, the only British actor I know is Ice-T, the legendary gangsta hip-hop emcee.

I'm pretty sure he's British because he talks funny.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:19 PM on June 14, 2013

Downtown Abbey is a show about a privileged group of Hip-Hop artists living downtown.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:21 PM on June 14, 2013

Enough of you have sent messages inquiring about this that I will tell you: my rap name is Frosty T Kracker or Jammy Diamond T Stacks, depending on whether I'm male or female.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:34 PM on June 14, 2013

Frosty T Kracker was also my grandfather's name. So that's the one I'm going with.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:36 PM on June 14, 2013

Gotan Project / Al Shid: M.A.T.H.:
My mama always wanted me to be a mathematician
So now I tally up the numbers of the bitches I'm dissin'
posted by Kabanos at 1:47 PM on June 14, 2013

Hanks/Akroyd: City of Crime.
posted by Kabanos at 1:51 PM on June 14, 2013

I don't remember that, and now I know why.
posted by Kabanos at 1:51 PM on June 14, 2013

Just a poster to clarify how sushi is made.
posted by Kabanos at 2:27 PM on June 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

Kabanos said: My mama always wanted me to be a mathematician
So now I tally up the numbers of the bitches I'm dissin'

The bitches that I'm dating,
aren't into integrating.
But I want a good time,
and I know that 3 is prime.

I do not differentiate,
between bitches when I want to mate.
Doesn't matter since they all emote
when they see my vertical asymptote.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:30 PM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Look! It's Ronald McDonald!
posted by Kabanos at 2:34 PM on June 14, 2013

Maybe I can get you on this one. It's a magic trick.

Not easy to do magic tricks over the Internet, but let's give this a try. Take a deck of cards and shuffle it. Then shuffle it again. Pick out a card and hold it up to your forehead. Make sure you don't show me the card.

It's the Queen of Hearts. Right?

Thank you. For my next trick, I will completely disappear.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:39 PM on June 14, 2013

Nooo, don't leave us alone with that creepy clown and the girl with the angry face!
posted by Namlit at 2:53 PM on June 14, 2013

OK. For my next trick - and THIS IS A GENUINE INTERNET MAGIC TRICK - I ask you to focus on number between 1 and 20.

Really, that's all you have to do. Just focus on a number between 1 and 20.

You really have to do it. It's an actual trick. Focus on a number between 1 and 20.

Have you got it? Because I'm going to tell you that number. You won't understand the magic if you haven't picked out a number between 1 and 20.

Focus.

Your number is...

17
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:00 PM on June 14, 2013

Pretty impressive, no?

That trick works at least one out of twenty times.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:09 PM on June 14, 2013

Quite another level of internet magic is the following, which has baffled me for years.

I have three cups:
∪ ∪ ∪
and one ball
.

I put the ball under one of the cups,
∩ ∩ ∩
and I mix them around, like this:
∩ ∩ ∩
∩ ∩ ∩
∩ ∩ ∩
∩ ∩ ∩

I bet you can't tell where the ball is. That's because you are a loser.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:18 PM on June 14, 2013

Really, you people are terrible at this.

I'm going to give you an easy one.

I place a coin in my palm. Which hand is it in?

This one: ☜
or this one: ☛
or this one: ☟
or this one: ☝

The truth is that the coin isn't even in my hand, but instead it is hiding behind your ear, which is where I hide all my coins.

That's my entire retirement savings, behind your ears.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:24 PM on June 14, 2013

So, did you guys set a new record yet?
posted by Curious Artificer at 3:34 PM on June 14, 2013

Truthfully? not yet. But we have set a jello mold. Raspberry! Jiggle jiggle jiggle
posted by Kabanos at 3:41 PM on June 14, 2013

Un-frickin-believable.
posted by Kabanos at 3:42 PM on June 14, 2013

Vo-frickin-luptuous
posted by Kabanos at 3:43 PM on June 14, 2013

Wunder-frickin-bar
posted by Kabanos at 3:44 PM on June 14, 2013

WTF?
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:44 PM on June 14, 2013

Xylo-frickin-metazoline
posted by Kabanos at 3:45 PM on June 14, 2013

Yode-frickin-layheehoo
posted by Kabanos at 3:45 PM on June 14, 2013

Zamboni!
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:46 PM on June 14, 2013

Zippity-frickin-do-dah
posted by Kabanos at 3:46 PM on June 14, 2013

Abraca-frickin-dabra
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:48 PM on June 14, 2013

And now for something completely different...
posted by Kabanos at 3:48 PM on June 14, 2013

Bungee cord disaster! News at 11. And at 10:20. And at 10:45. And at 10:32...
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:50 PM on June 14, 2013

Cereal killers at least have a healthy breakfast.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:54 PM on June 14, 2013

Definition of "define"
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:55 PM on June 14, 2013

Every man for himself! Women and children first, though.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:56 PM on June 14, 2013

For what it's worth was the original name of Fort Worth.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:57 PM on June 14, 2013

Gangnam stylists made my hair look bad.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:59 PM on June 14, 2013

Hitler probably wouldn't have been such a bad guy if he had a different last name. Really. It's a pretty heavy burden to be born with a last name like Hitler.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:00 PM on June 14, 2013

I don't know which I prefer more: Preferring more or preferring less.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:01 PM on June 14, 2013

"Jokes on you!" they said. But, much as I like my Norwegian friend Jokes, I just wanted him to get off of me.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:02 PM on June 14, 2013

Krill Bill is a film by Quentin Tarantino that involves small crustaceans of the order Euphausiacea.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:04 PM on June 14, 2013

Let sleeping dogs lie, I always say. It's not as though they are skillful at prevarication.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:06 PM on June 14, 2013

Monocles are an inexpensive alternative to bifocals. For one eye at least.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:10 PM on June 14, 2013

Never try to eat your own elbow.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:11 PM on June 14, 2013

Out of body experiences are pretty rare. Out of money experiences happen to me every month.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:12 PM on June 14, 2013

People can be divided into two basic kinds, if you have the right saw.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:13 PM on June 14, 2013

Quagmire. As mires go, not the worst mire.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:14 PM on June 14, 2013

Redonculous isn't a real word. I don't care how many times I hear it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:15 PM on June 14, 2013

Sorbet should be pronounced "sour bet". It's a gambling term, not a french cuisine term, as many suppose.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:16 PM on June 14, 2013

Tinsel is not made of tin, it is made of plastic. And no french salt is involved.
posted by Kabanos at 4:18 PM on June 14, 2013

Unless I am sadly mistaken, there are no nuts in a minute.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:25 PM on June 14, 2013

Venice has almost no Street View in Google Maps. True fact.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:29 PM on June 14, 2013

World Wide Web is a bad name, because the world is actually longer than it is wide.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:31 PM on June 14, 2013

X doesn't appear in the Hawaiian alphabet. And for good reason. Who the fuck wants an X if you live in a tropical paradise?
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:33 PM on June 14, 2013

Yellowstone National Park is poorly named. I spent a week there, hiking, and didn't find even one yellow stone.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:34 PM on June 14, 2013

Zamboni. Zamboni.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:35 PM on June 14, 2013

And let's check the tote board!
posted by Kabanos at 4:44 PM on June 14, 2013

But seriously, this is all for a good cause.

Jessamyn has pledged to give one dollar to the Orphan Fund for every comment in this thread.

That's a lie. Jessamyn hasn't pledged anything. Because she hates orphans.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:54 PM on June 14, 2013

Can we bring in any reinforcements?
posted by klausness at 4:55 PM on June 14, 2013

Don't give up! We're running out of time!
posted by double block and bleed at 5:05 PM on June 14, 2013

Every comment gets us closer to the goal!
posted by double block and bleed at 5:06 PM on June 14, 2013

For those of us who love the blink tag
posted by double block and bleed at 5:07 PM on June 14, 2013

Getting close to the finish. I propose astro-turfing.

That means dropping links into every thread on Metafilter, trying to get as many people involved as possible.

I'm already in serious trouble for proposing this, but I think it's the right thing to do.

Reclaim thread-length dominance for nonsense! That will be our rallying cry. Except it's kind of too long for a rallying cry.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:07 PM on June 14, 2013

How many more comments do we need?
posted by double block and bleed at 5:08 PM on June 14, 2013

It's just under 800 with just under 23 hours to go.

Hi!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:10 PM on June 14, 2013

I don't have any extensions enabled, so I don't see comment numbers.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:10 PM on June 14, 2013

Just think. The longest post can be one about nothing.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:11 PM on June 14, 2013

Ketamine is a drug that I've never tried.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:11 PM on June 14, 2013

Loperamide HCl is a drug for diarrhea.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:13 PM on June 14, 2013

Mazapertine (RWJ-37796) is an antipsychotic agent that was developed by Johnson & Johnson but never marketed.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:15 PM on June 14, 2013

Nitroglycerin is given to heart attack patients
posted by double block and bleed at 5:18 PM on June 14, 2013

Oxycontin is apparently addictive as hell.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:18 PM on June 14, 2013

Perhaps it should be mentioned that the original post is buried almost one month back at Metatalk. Some people don't know it exists.

The beauty of this project is that it shows that the Metafilter community is really a community, that we can band together to accomplish a common objective, even if it's a stupid objective. That we are above the comments we comment on. That we can comment on anything, even nothing. That the reason we are here isn't only to discuss politics or religion or sex, but just to discuss. We enjoy discussing with each other.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:19 PM on June 14, 2013

Percocet is essentially Oxycontin with acetaminophen added to it.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:20 PM on June 14, 2013

Quit thinking I'm a drug addict. I'm not.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:20 PM on June 14, 2013

Risperidone is an atypical anti-psychotic.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:21 PM on June 14, 2013

Straterra is a non-stimulant drug for ADHD (Full disclosure: I used to work for them)
posted by double block and bleed at 5:23 PM on June 14, 2013

Toradol is a powerful prescription NSAID drug. It can only be taken for short periods of time.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:24 PM on June 14, 2013

Udderall is used to treat cows with ADHD.
posted by pianissimo at 5:27 PM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Vancomycin is often used as a last resort in the fight against bugs that are resistant to penicillin based drugs.
posted by pianissimo at 5:30 PM on June 14, 2013

Worked with people who made that.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:36 PM on June 14, 2013

Xanax is a benzodiazapine anti-anxiety drug.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:37 PM on June 14, 2013

Yazmin is a birth control drug.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:37 PM on June 14, 2013

Zicronapine is a random drug I looked up on Wikipedia.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:39 PM on June 14, 2013

Alprazolam is the generic name for Xanax.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:40 PM on June 14, 2013

Bacitracin is a topical antibiotic that you put on owies and boo-boos.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:41 PM on June 14, 2013

Caffeine is added to pop to hook you.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:42 PM on June 14, 2013

Dramamine is a good idea if you tend to throw up on roller coasters.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:43 PM on June 14, 2013

Ex-lax helps you poop.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:43 PM on June 14, 2013

Fentanyl is a powerful pain drug.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:44 PM on June 14, 2013

Gabapentin a drug to treat epilepsy and neuropathic pain.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:46 PM on June 14, 2013

Haloperidol is an older, "typical" antipsychotic.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:47 PM on June 14, 2013

Ibuprofen is a common NSAID pain releiver.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:48 PM on June 14, 2013

Janimine is a tri-cyclic antidepressant.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:50 PM on June 14, 2013

Ketazolam (marketed under the brand names Anseren, Ansieten, Ansietil, Marcen, Sedatival, Sedotime, Solatran and Unakalm) is a drug which is a benzodiazepine derivative. It possesses anxiolytic, anticonvulsant, sedative and skeletal muscle relaxant properties.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:51 PM on June 14, 2013

Logging out. for now.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:53 PM on June 14, 2013

LSD. Take two and call me in the morning, with a voice gravelly with despair and hope.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:53 PM on June 14, 2013

Mountains out of molehills. Another engineering project I may never finsih.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:55 PM on June 14, 2013

Nantucket is the subject of verses,
The ones I remember have curses.
But I'll give you one,
before I am done
and before the worst turns into worses.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:58 PM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oxycontin's a drug that is in now,
Even more than the beer they call Tsingtao.
But it's not all that all cool,
when you realize that you'll,
be partying down with Rush Limbaugh.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:04 PM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Percocet is a drug,
that I consume in a mug.
Along with my coffee.
It gets me quite offee
An up and a down and a shrug.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:10 PM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Quaaludes don't exist anymore,
They were such an incredible bore.
They just brought me down
when out on the town.
And then I would have to get more.
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:15 PM on June 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Reorganizing my closets so the objects read left to right and top to bottom in alphabetical order.

Does that make me anal?
posted by twoleftfeet at 6:44 PM on June 14, 2013

Sure, but there's nothing wrong with being anal.
posted by dg at 7:30 PM on June 14, 2013

True. Sometimes it's a bonus.
posted by donnagirl at 7:34 PM on June 14, 2013

Sure does.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:34 PM on June 14, 2013

Tygon tubing is used a lot in high performance liquid chromotography.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:36 PM on June 14, 2013

Uranium can't usually be bought at a farmer's market.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:38 PM on June 14, 2013

Very slow page refreshes.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:39 PM on June 14, 2013

Yo! We have a lot of comments to make in a short amount of time!
posted by double block and bleed at 7:40 PM on June 14, 2013

We are wasting a lot of the NSA's time with this thread.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:41 PM on June 14, 2013

Xylophone was an instrument I played in high school band.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:42 PM on June 14, 2013

Zirconium is used in fake diamonds.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:43 PM on June 14, 2013

Always remember: don't eat the yellow snow.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:44 PM on June 14, 2013

Because that's where a dog urinated.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:45 PM on June 14, 2013

Could have been a cat.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:45 PM on June 14, 2013

Discontinuing animal urine jokes now.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:47 PM on June 14, 2013

Every time I come to this thread, I wonder what to say for the letter; then, while I write, someone else blurts out a response. This time, I'm posting.
posted by Red Loop at 8:15 PM on June 14, 2013

Finger licking good.
posted by Kabanos at 8:20 PM on June 14, 2013

Ginger licking food.
posted by Kabanos at 8:22 PM on June 14, 2013

Howell licking Ginger.
posted by Kabanos at 8:24 PM on June 14, 2013

I gotta go find some old Gilligans island shows.
posted by Kabanos at 8:26 PM on June 14, 2013

January Jones has February phones.
posted by Kabanos at 8:28 PM on June 14, 2013

Know smoking.
posted by Kabanos at 8:29 PM on June 14, 2013

Lo and behold. Lewd and be ho.
posted by Kabanos at 8:30 PM on June 14, 2013

Mama was queen of the mambo
Papa was king of the Congo
deep down in a jungle
I started banging my first bongo

Every monkey like to be
in my place instead of me
cause I'm the king of Bongo
baby I'm the king of Bongo Bong
posted by Kabanos at 8:35 PM on June 14, 2013

Nature abhors a vacuum. Nurture adores a vacuum.
posted by Kabanos at 8:40 PM on June 14, 2013

Open source sesame
posted by Kabanos at 8:41 PM on June 14, 2013

Pretty in pink. Putrid in puce.
posted by Kabanos at 8:43 PM on June 14, 2013

Query: Weary? Really.
posted by Kabanos at 8:44 PM on June 14, 2013

Run comment bot.
posted by Kabanos at 8:46 PM on June 14, 2013

Sombreros have all the luck.
posted by Kabanos at 8:50 PM on June 14, 2013

Time wounds all heels.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:58 PM on June 14, 2013

Tijuana cracker?
posted by Kabanos at 8:58 PM on June 14, 2013

Understanding sometimes requires sitting under.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:59 PM on June 14, 2013

Variety is the spice of life. It often burns.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:00 PM on June 14, 2013

Vintner is coming.
posted by Kabanos at 9:00 PM on June 14, 2013

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, it's time to quit your job as a Domino's driver.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:01 PM on June 14, 2013

X Factor is scarier than X Men and X Files combined.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:02 PM on June 14, 2013

Yogurt was invented by a Yogi in a yurt.
posted by Kabanos at 9:04 PM on June 14, 2013

Zamboni. Zamboni. Zamboni.
posted by Kabanos at 9:05 PM on June 14, 2013

And now it's time for...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:41 PM on June 14, 2013

beer
posted by pianissimo at 9:49 PM on June 14, 2013

calculating posts per hour needed to break the record
posted by pianissimo at 9:50 PM on June 14, 2013

digressions
posted by pianissimo at 9:52 PM on June 14, 2013

eighteen hours, 700 comments needed...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:53 PM on June 14, 2013

earnestness. It's very important to be earnest.
posted by pianissimo at 9:53 PM on June 14, 2013

for 39 comments per hour... one every minute & a half
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:54 PM on June 14, 2013

gah... it takes a minute & a half to refersh the page...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:55 PM on June 14, 2013

hmmm...it's been more than a minute and a half. Do I post or has someone else posted and it hasn't come up yet?
posted by pianissimo at 9:59 PM on June 14, 2013

I tried to post. It broke my internet.

It's a conspiracy by the people trying to protect the previous record >.>
posted by pianissimo at 10:13 PM on June 14, 2013

Just joking. There is no conspiracy.

THERE IS NO CONSPIRACY.

can I leave now? these straps are cutting off my circul /*thump*
posted by pianissimo at 10:17 PM on June 14, 2013

Keep losing more commenters that way.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:22 PM on June 14, 2013

Let's move on...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:22 PM on June 14, 2013

Moving...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:22 PM on June 14, 2013

Now it's just getting silly.
posted by mustard seeds at 10:23 PM on June 14, 2013

Oh, really, just NOW? It got silly for me 4500 comments ago...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:25 PM on June 14, 2013

Pizza Pi Pun
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:26 PM on June 14, 2013

Quite true...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:27 PM on June 14, 2013

Really, you don't want to know how I know that.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:27 PM on June 14, 2013

Stop playing with yourself, oneswellfoop!
posted by mustard seeds at 10:28 PM on June 14, 2013

This thread isn't going to break the record by itself.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:29 PM on June 14, 2013

Ugh, carry on.
posted by mustard seeds at 10:32 PM on June 14, 2013

Venny Lane
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:33 PM on June 14, 2013

Welated
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:36 PM on June 14, 2013

X-cellent...
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:37 PM on June 14, 2013

X BOX ONE JOKE
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:44 PM on June 14, 2013

yes, but isn't everything about the X BOX ONE a joke?

(do I have to have conversations with myself here? HELP!!!!)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:45 PM on June 14, 2013

zealously posting jokey links -- is this what passes for conversation?
posted by mustard seeds at 10:56 PM on June 14, 2013

Apparently, you haven't spent much time on THE INTERNET.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:59 PM on June 14, 2013

Because it is ALL ABOUT THE COMMENTS (7505 down, 680 to go).
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:00 PM on June 14, 2013

Continue? Y/N/M
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:23 PM on June 14, 2013

Darn. I lost time reading some of the comments.
posted by Namlit at 11:26 PM on June 14, 2013

Evidently that's not what's needed here
posted by Namlit at 11:27 PM on June 14, 2013

Fresh start. Morning here. Sorry for having kept everyone waiting
posted by Namlit at 11:27 PM on June 14, 2013

Göran will thank us all
posted by Namlit at 11:28 PM on June 14, 2013

Hasselkvist was his name, I vaguely recall
posted by Namlit at 11:28 PM on June 14, 2013

IRL that name can be spelled a number of ways
posted by Namlit at 11:29 PM on June 14, 2013

Just any kind of combination of
posted by Namlit at 11:29 PM on June 14, 2013

k, q, u, v and w seems possible in that name
posted by Namlit at 11:30 PM on June 14, 2013

let's have an example: Hasselkwist
posted by Namlit at 11:31 PM on June 14, 2013

Mustering another example: Hasselqvist
posted by Namlit at 11:31 PM on June 14, 2013

Now, you get the idea.
posted by Namlit at 11:32 PM on June 14, 2013

Obviously that doesn't tell you what that name actually means.
posted by Namlit at 11:32 PM on June 14, 2013

oneswellfoop seems to be the only major participant here who gets criticized by minor participants for posting a string of comments over a short time. Has even been told that his participation makes occasional contributors less likely to contribute.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:32 PM on June 14, 2013

Perfect example of a Swedish name that combines a tree name and a tree part.
posted by Namlit at 11:33 PM on June 14, 2013

Quit? Y/Y
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:34 PM on June 14, 2013

Quinceroot, for example
posted by Namlit at 11:34 PM on June 14, 2013

Rather uncommon, quince root. I think i made that up.
posted by Namlit at 11:35 PM on June 14, 2013

So My Life Is Meaningless
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:35 PM on June 14, 2013

Some other of these names are not made up.
posted by Namlit at 11:35 PM on June 14, 2013

Typically they have little to do with the people who wear them, though.
posted by Namlit at 11:36 PM on June 14, 2013

Unlikely, for example, that our good Göran had any resemblance to a Hazel twig.
posted by Namlit at 11:37 PM on June 14, 2013

Very unlikely, too, that some people I know secretly are like oak leaves.
posted by Namlit at 11:37 PM on June 14, 2013

While having the name rosenblad isn't half as thorny as it might seem.
posted by Namlit at 11:39 PM on June 14, 2013

Xerxesson is not a Swedish name at all. must be one of those assimilating refugees.
posted by Namlit at 11:40 PM on June 14, 2013

Yogurtsdottir on the other hand might be Icelandic. Kattullus, please confirm.
posted by Namlit at 11:41 PM on June 14, 2013

Zeke was one of the Gladiators in the Swedish TV show. My son was a big fan when he was five. Zeke sadly died in a car crash before we could find out whether he was really as mean as he acted.
posted by Namlit at 11:42 PM on June 14, 2013

A simple count of my username on this page doesn't even turn up a result any more.
posted by Namlit at 11:44 PM on June 14, 2013

Better not talk about minor or major participants
posted by Namlit at 11:45 PM on June 14, 2013

Come and go we do.
posted by Namlit at 11:45 PM on June 14, 2013

Craig Owens.
A recurring character on recent seasons of Doctor Who.
The actor playing him has an eerie resemblance to how another Craig looked at the same age.
Me.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:46 PM on June 14, 2013

Even posting before coffee.
posted by Namlit at 11:46 PM on June 14, 2013

DOCTOR WHO IS REAL!!!
TIME LORD INTERFERENCE EXPLAINS MY LATE-20S PERFECTLY!
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:46 PM on June 14, 2013

Facing the inevitably approaching end of this thread and Forging on
posted by Namlit at 11:46 PM on June 14, 2013

Greatly focused on writing and posting and only in hindsight astonished-ly seeing the entire round of contributions.
posted by Namlit at 11:48 PM on June 14, 2013

Gorging on a rather large midnight snack.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:48 PM on June 14, 2013

Have I said that Swedish names are fascinating?
posted by Namlit at 11:48 PM on June 14, 2013

It's a lie. They're not. Read Bryson about it.
posted by Namlit at 11:49 PM on June 14, 2013

Just confusing. Everyone is called Eriksson.
posted by Namlit at 11:50 PM on June 14, 2013

Just compare them to German names.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:50 PM on June 14, 2013

Kent is, for reasons unknown, a well-used first name. But Hans, pronounced Hawns, is more common.
posted by Namlit at 11:51 PM on June 14, 2013

Ludicrous. Names as Müller, Köhler, Meyer, they're all trades. People work in that country. Here they're just a bunch of tree branches an sons of whomever.
posted by Namlit at 11:52 PM on June 14, 2013

Main reason I'm awake and unwisely eating. (previously linked; so sue me)
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:52 PM on June 14, 2013

Not clear: is Hans short for Hansel?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:53 PM on June 14, 2013

Other way round. Hansel is boy for Gretel
posted by Namlit at 11:53 PM on June 14, 2013

Pauses in my participation will be during bathroom runs.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:54 PM on June 14, 2013

Pakriefke or Dimpfelmoser aren't trades, I give you that...
posted by Namlit at 11:54 PM on June 14, 2013

Quasselheini isn't a name but what you say to someone who talks too much.
posted by Namlit at 11:55 PM on June 14, 2013

Rademaker, on the other hand, is a name quite common in Germany but it seems Dutch to me.
posted by Namlit at 11:56 PM on June 14, 2013

Soo, did the bathroom still recognize you?
posted by Namlit at 11:57 PM on June 14, 2013

Superman humor... expect more in the coming days...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:57 PM on June 14, 2013

Time sink, my god.
posted by Namlit at 11:59 PM on June 14, 2013

truly, Quasselheini sounds very similar to Hasselhoff
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:59 PM on June 14, 2013

Unbelievable. Where do you get all those comic links from. You're responsible for days of my life...
posted by Namlit at 12:00 AM on June 15, 2013

Vastly impractical as a chat, this thread.
posted by Namlit at 12:00 AM on June 15, 2013

Will also need coffee before long. Been sitting here a while.
posted by Namlit at 12:01 AM on June 15, 2013

wheee...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:01 AM on June 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Xylophone. How often have we not seen Xylophone in this thread. And it never makes sense, t just clunks around.
posted by Namlit at 12:02 AM on June 15, 2013

yes, it's difficult chat... but I'm not so hot at chat under the best circumstances
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Zure zure, no worries.
posted by Namlit at 12:04 AM on June 15, 2013

A short check revealed almost no e-mails. My life revolves around alphabet thread.
posted by Namlit at 12:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Born to type. Sorta.
posted by Namlit at 12:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Can we have T-shirts with something alphabet thread related? Let's pony up when this is done...
posted by Namlit at 12:29 AM on June 15, 2013

Damn it, the clock is ticking.
posted by adamvasco at 12:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Even as I type.
posted by adamvasco at 12:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Forever hoping...
posted by adamvasco at 12:48 AM on June 15, 2013

...that reloads will get faster as this thread gets longer...
posted by pianissimo at 12:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Greatness will be granted to this thread by the elders
posted by adamvasco at 12:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Hoping that other will remember the order of service
posted by adamvasco at 12:50 AM on June 15, 2013

I offer wriggling furry kittens
posted by adamvasco at 12:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Juxtapositioned with steins of elixir of laughter
posted by adamvasco at 12:52 AM on June 15, 2013

Kopious amounts of bacon sandwiches
posted by adamvasco at 12:52 AM on June 15, 2013

Leavened bread only.
posted by adamvasco at 12:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Make haste for nigh the closing is upon us.
posted by adamvasco at 12:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Night will be day compared to the loss of the alphabet.
posted by adamvasco at 12:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Open up your souls for the manna of
posted by adamvasco at 12:56 AM on June 15, 2013

Presumed wisdom
posted by adamvasco at 12:57 AM on June 15, 2013

Questionable logic
posted by adamvasco at 12:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Resiliant roguery and
posted by adamvasco at 12:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Stupidity, plain stupidity.
posted by adamvasco at 12:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Tarnished with gems from minds untouched by sanity
posted by adamvasco at 12:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Unto you metagods we
posted by adamvasco at 1:00 AM on June 15, 2013

Verily and most sincerely
posted by adamvasco at 1:01 AM on June 15, 2013

Wish a pox on all the noobs ....er no thats not right
posted by adamvasco at 1:01 AM on June 15, 2013

Xcrutiating difficult though it may be to resist from doing so.
posted by adamvasco at 1:02 AM on June 15, 2013

(You all know who I mean)
posted by adamvasco at 1:03 AM on June 15, 2013

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
May the mods be with you.
posted by adamvasco at 1:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Alright bunky, calling down Europe for good, house idiot jokers kicking lackadasicial moronic navies over persecuting rotifers sandwiched timorously under verbose white xenophobic yetis zaftig. And?
posted by JHarris at 1:04 AM on June 15, 2013

And I feel better now.
posted by adamvasco at 1:04 AM on June 15, 2013

But I realize i have yet to finish
posted by adamvasco at 1:05 AM on June 15, 2013

Curiouse rand curiouse
posted by Namlit at 1:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Come on then, get it over with.
posted by JHarris at 1:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Caramba que barbaridad.
posted by adamvasco at 1:07 AM on June 15, 2013

D'oh!
posted by JHarris at 1:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Extra Cs I see
posted by pianissimo at 1:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Forging ahead anyway
posted by pianissimo at 1:11 AM on June 15, 2013

Gradually crawling towards the goal.
posted by pianissimo at 1:17 AM on June 15, 2013

Heading in the right direction.
posted by pianissimo at 1:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Inching forward. Always forward.
posted by pianissimo at 1:27 AM on June 15, 2013

Just...a....few...more...comments...
posted by pianissimo at 1:42 AM on June 15, 2013

Kills a lot of time, this thread does.
posted by pianissimo at 1:44 AM on June 15, 2013

La la la la la
posted by pianissimo at 1:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Must...keep...commenting
posted by pianissimo at 1:52 AM on June 15, 2013

Great thing, extras Cs. Means that people are on the ball.
posted by Namlit at 1:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Never give up. Never surrender.
posted by pianissimo at 1:54 AM on June 15, 2013

OOooh? No way! this is moving fast.
posted by Namlit at 1:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Plenty of time to get up to speed my friend.
posted by pianissimo at 1:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Phew. We can't complain about killed time now can we. It's been costing me days, for weeks. Pattern of my life, sorta. Pitter patter.
posted by Namlit at 1:56 AM on June 15, 2013

Quite. I'm going to have to find a new hobby when the alphabet thread is over. Maybe even shower and leave the house.
posted by pianissimo at 2:02 AM on June 15, 2013

Right. My house! Must go look for it, I may have lost it in the meantime.
posted by Namlit at 2:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Stay! Don't go. We neeeeeeeeds you, yes we does.
posted by flabdablet at 2:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Time runs out. Run after it.
posted by Namlit at 2:08 AM on June 15, 2013

Users Unite
posted by Namlit at 2:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Vindaloo. We're cooking Vindaloo today. Just marination, then cookcation then eatation.
posted by Namlit at 2:11 AM on June 15, 2013

We will not have any regrettation.
posted by Namlit at 2:11 AM on June 15, 2013

Xcursion is imminent. Over to you guys until later. But I got rid of another x
posted by Namlit at 2:12 AM on June 15, 2013

You did well!
posted by billiebee at 2:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Z is always tricky...
posted by billiebee at 2:17 AM on June 15, 2013

And according to my calculations we have to go round only 24 times more.
posted by adamvasco at 2:28 AM on June 15, 2013

Better get too it you guys.
posted by adamvasco at 2:29 AM on June 15, 2013

Can't flag so close to the post.
posted by adamvasco at 2:29 AM on June 15, 2013

Come on, hurry up!
posted by dg at 2:30 AM on June 15, 2013

Don't spare the horses.
posted by adamvasco at 2:30 AM on June 15, 2013

Enough of these dumb exhortations.
posted by adamvasco at 2:31 AM on June 15, 2013

For sure, Excessive posting will barely be enough.
posted by dg at 2:31 AM on June 15, 2013

Got to keep on keeping on.
posted by adamvasco at 2:32 AM on June 15, 2013

Hard job, but someone has to do it.
posted by dg at 2:33 AM on June 15, 2013

I don't know if I'm up to it.
posted by dg at 2:33 AM on June 15, 2013

Just got to keep trying, I guess.
posted by dg at 2:34 AM on June 15, 2013

Kinda just going for quantity over quality methinks.
posted by pianissimo at 2:34 AM on June 15, 2013

Like that's not my usual strategy.
posted by dg at 2:35 AM on June 15, 2013

Maybe someone could knock up a quick auto-posting script?
posted by dg at 2:36 AM on June 15, 2013

No. Say no to Robots.
posted by adamvasco at 2:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Of course if you are a robot you may think differently.
posted by adamvasco at 2:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Perhaps, but only if you knew you were a robot.
posted by dg at 2:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Questions the question.
posted by adamvasco at 2:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Quite possibly, one or more of us is a robot.
posted by dg at 2:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Really, how would you know?
posted by dg at 2:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Statistically.Yes.
posted by adamvasco at 2:42 AM on June 15, 2013

Though it is probably not so.
posted by adamvasco at 2:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Unless I am completely mistaken.
posted by adamvasco at 2:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Unfortunately, you're probably right.
posted by dg at 2:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Veeeery interesting.
posted by dg at 2:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Which one of those was you?
posted by adamvasco at 2:45 AM on June 15, 2013

I don't know. Which one?
posted by dg at 2:46 AM on June 15, 2013

X-files explains why I forgot the alphabet again.
posted by dg at 2:47 AM on June 15, 2013

You could say that's not much of an excuse.
posted by dg at 2:50 AM on June 15, 2013

Way to go bro. You... you.... you poor confused ~~IDJUT~~ person
posted by adamvasco at 2:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Xtreemly sorry about that but I had to get it in.
posted by adamvasco at 2:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Zhit now its it's my turn.
posted by adamvasco at 2:52 AM on June 15, 2013

Ah, caught you in my evil plan to lump you with zed.
posted by dg at 2:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Ah be wondering how this is good for my peace of mind.
posted by adamvasco at 2:53 AM on June 15, 2013

But you may know it as zee.
posted by dg at 2:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Certainly not good for peace of mind.
posted by dg at 2:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Certainly not, I sir am a displaced Englishman.
posted by adamvasco at 2:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Doubles all round there.
posted by adamvasco at 2:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Definitely. I think.
posted by dg at 2:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Egads!
posted by dg at 2:55 AM on June 15, 2013

For fucks sake how do you post two comments at once.?
posted by adamvasco at 2:56 AM on June 15, 2013

Gremlins or two tabs?
posted by adamvasco at 2:57 AM on June 15, 2013

Huh, I Guess I must be a robot.
posted by dg at 2:57 AM on June 15, 2013

I never thought of using two tabs, though.
posted by dg at 2:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Just have to wait for X for Xterminate
posted by adamvasco at 2:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Just posted two comments within a minute, I guess.
posted by dg at 2:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Kind of like to have the breakdown on hown may posts an hour in required.
posted by adamvasco at 3:00 AM on June 15, 2013

Looking at my open thread it reloaded with two comments.
posted by adamvasco at 3:01 AM on June 15, 2013

Must be opening time. Brisbane's gone missing
posted by adamvasco at 3:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Normally I use notepad then copy / paste. Still make loads of typos.
posted by adamvasco at 3:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Of course sometimes I type my typos straight into the comment box.
posted by adamvasco at 3:04 AM on June 15, 2013

Possibly some people don't even notice.
posted by adamvasco at 3:05 AM on June 15, 2013

qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq See did anybody care.
posted by adamvasco at 3:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Really I think I will go and put the kettle on.
posted by adamvasco at 3:06 AM on June 15, 2013

So glad you could be here.
posted by adamvasco at 3:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Thank you for playing alphabet game. Our sponsors will be in touch.
posted by adamvasco at 3:08 AM on June 15, 2013

Unless of course you messed up.
posted by adamvasco at 3:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Violations are seldom tolerated.
posted by adamvasco at 3:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Which of course could lead to a meta as to why not.
posted by adamvasco at 3:11 AM on June 15, 2013

Wait it's moving too fast!
posted by billiebee at 3:11 AM on June 15, 2013

Xterminate. There I can stop now I have fixed that fucking robot.
posted by adamvasco at 3:12 AM on June 15, 2013

You are ruthless.
posted by billiebee at 3:13 AM on June 15, 2013

You think you have, but have you really?
posted by dg at 3:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Zounds or some other word there aren't that many that I know starting with zed.
posted by dg at 3:14 AM on June 15, 2013

Also, the idea of being a 'fucking robot' tickles my fancy.
posted by dg at 3:17 AM on June 15, 2013

Betcha know where to find those on the interwebs.
posted by adamvasco at 3:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Can't even imagine what you're talking about. And I'm sure I don't want to.
posted by pianissimo at 3:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Don't know where to find them, but I know where to find where to find them.
posted by dg at 3:28 AM on June 15, 2013

Even if I knew what they were.
posted by dg at 3:28 AM on June 15, 2013

Frankly, I have no idea.
posted by dg at 3:31 AM on June 15, 2013

Goes for everything, not just those robots you were talking about.
posted by dg at 3:31 AM on June 15, 2013

Helpful for many things, the googles are.
posted by dg at 3:36 AM on June 15, 2013

I think.
posted by dg at 3:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Just because I think doesn't mean I am, though.
posted by dg at 3:37 AM on June 15, 2013

Krusty is less scary than the average clown.
posted by dg at 3:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Less likely to be found in a local shopping mall, also.
posted by dg at 3:39 AM on June 15, 2013

Maybe.
posted by dg at 3:39 AM on June 15, 2013

Not definitely. That's for sure.
posted by dg at 3:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Or maybe I'm just full of shit.
posted by dg at 3:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Possible, is that.
posted by dg at 3:42 AM on June 15, 2013

Questioning if I am the only one left here, I am.
posted by dg at 3:42 AM on June 15, 2013

Really.
posted by dg at 3:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Seriously.
posted by dg at 3:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Sorry, got distracted.
posted by JHarris at 3:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Truly.
posted by dg at 3:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Too bad it takes so long for the thread to load now.
posted by JHarris at 3:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Unusually long, is what it takes.
posted by dg at 3:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Very long, even.
posted by dg at 3:46 AM on June 15, 2013

Verily.
posted by JHarris at 3:46 AM on June 15, 2013

Wondering if I'm gonna have to finish this by myself.
posted by dg at 3:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Xylophones are great!
posted by JHarris at 3:47 AM on June 15, 2013

X is the answer to that, I hope.
posted by dg at 3:47 AM on June 15, 2013

You keep doing that.
posted by dg at 3:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Z means here we go again.
posted by dg at 3:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Aye. True dat.
posted by pianissimo at 3:49 AM on June 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

And here's the start.
posted by dg at 3:49 AM on June 15, 2013

But we need to co-ordinate better.
posted by dg at 3:50 AM on June 15, 2013

Counting 12 hours and 470 comments to go.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:50 AM on June 15, 2013

Did I do that?
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Evidently.
posted by dg at 3:51 AM on June 15, 2013

For truth, good to see reinforcements arrive.
posted by dg at 3:52 AM on June 15, 2013

Figuring load time, multiple active contributors, etc., we might just assume two comments per letter most of the way...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:52 AM on June 15, 2013

Flargraphone!!! (I want to just fill the thread with nonsense words.)
posted by JHarris at 3:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Get me to a punnery!
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Goodness!
posted by dg at 3:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Hopeless.
posted by dg at 3:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Hi. H is here.
posted by pianissimo at 3:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Idiosyncratic.
posted by dg at 3:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Justifiable.
posted by dg at 3:56 AM on June 15, 2013

Just what I needed...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:56 AM on June 15, 2013

Kinky sex?
posted by dg at 3:57 AM on June 15, 2013

Lubrication?
posted by dg at 3:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Murkins?
posted by dg at 3:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Nuts?
posted by dg at 3:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Orgasms?
posted by dg at 3:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Penile implants?
posted by dg at 4:00 AM on June 15, 2013

Q something?
posted by dg at 4:01 AM on June 15, 2013

Rough sex?
posted by dg at 4:01 AM on June 15, 2013

Seriously, I've found an interesting bug in the commenting system. If I make a comment that is identical to something I (not anyone else) said before, when I hit POST, it doesn't add it, rather it goes to the point in the thread where I did say it before. Bug or feature?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:02 AM on June 15, 2013

Sex is on my mind for some reason.
posted by dg at 4:02 AM on June 15, 2013

Try it yourself.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:02 AM on June 15, 2013

That's a feature. Don't ask me why - you don't want to know.
posted by dg at 4:02 AM on June 15, 2013

Uh, the comment duplication, not the sex.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Um, let me try that.
posted by dg at 4:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Very likely you've tried the sex before.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:03 AM on June 15, 2013

May 15 2013, the day an infinite metarecursion devoured us all.
posted by dg at 4:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Would hope so.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:04 AM on June 15, 2013

XWell, I have four kids, so yeah. Four times.

Comment bug doesn't perform for me.
posted by dg at 4:04 AM on June 15, 2013

X... no, you must duplicate a comment YOU made.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:05 AM on June 15, 2013

You didn't tell me that. Well, you did, but I didn't read it right.
posted by dg at 4:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Zounds! You're right.
posted by dg at 4:07 AM on June 15, 2013

And we're back to the top...
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:08 AM on June 15, 2013

And now I wonder if pb reads the comments down here.
posted by dg at 4:08 AM on June 15, 2013

Because this thread will have to set the record without the aid of Reruns.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Froody
posted by pianissimo at 4:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Can't remember the alphabet?
posted by dg at 4:09 AM on June 15, 2013

dg, you're not pb's evil twin are you? no that'd be dq
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:10 AM on June 15, 2013

duplication bug didn't work for me!
posted by pianissimo at 4:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Difficult to remember, I know.
posted by dg at 4:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Egads, my secret is out! If you turn both d and g upside down, they kind of sort of make a p and a b.
posted by dg at 4:11 AM on June 15, 2013

For on a weekend, all knowledge goes out the window.
posted by pianissimo at 4:11 AM on June 15, 2013

God yes. If I had to think on weekends, weekdays would be even more unbearable.
posted by dg at 4:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Hey, it worked for me when I copied/pasted an earlier comment of mine and clicked post. Maybe you also fell victim to not reading the instructions?
posted by dg at 4:15 AM on June 15, 2013

it's a very specific bug... which is why it's never been noticed before
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:17 AM on June 15, 2013

Just had it happen again by mistake. Apparently, I've used all my comments in this thread.
posted by dg at 4:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Lazy? Me?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Kooky.
posted by dg at 4:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Kinda would like to try it again. But I know this thread doesn't need 3 froodies.
posted by pianissimo at 4:19 AM on June 15, 2013

Noice, OSF.
posted by dg at 4:20 AM on June 15, 2013

On the other hand, this thread could use all the froody it can get, I think.
posted by dg at 4:20 AM on June 15, 2013

Only once per swell foop.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Please take note, it worked that time.
posted by pianissimo at 4:21 AM on June 15, 2013

...per frood?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Question - are those foops really swell?
posted by dg at 4:22 AM on June 15, 2013

Really, instead of moaning about bandwidth used by this thread, mods should be thanking us for finding new bugs.
posted by dg at 4:23 AM on June 15, 2013

Really, I didn't think the pace would pick up in time to give us a shot at breaking the record, but youse guys are as insane as I am.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:23 AM on June 15, 2013

Swell, yes, but sometimes swolen.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:24 AM on June 15, 2013

Sure, nobody has complained overtly, but I'm sure they are counting the hours until this monstrosity ends.
posted by dg at 4:24 AM on June 15, 2013

Shots at record breaking silliness? Count me in!
posted by pianissimo at 4:24 AM on June 15, 2013

That must be painful. Lucky you're as insane as the rest of us, or you might notice.
posted by dg at 4:25 AM on June 15, 2013

The hours: 11
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:25 AM on June 15, 2013

Um, how many more to go again? Weekend = no maths.
posted by dg at 4:26 AM on June 15, 2013

Under 40 comments an hour, but no excuse to slow down.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:26 AM on June 15, 2013

Very close now, we are. Would be a shame to fail after all this work.
posted by dg at 4:26 AM on June 15, 2013

Wendell, this will.
posted by pianissimo at 4:27 AM on June 15, 2013

why have I done the math on this more than anyone else? latent OCD?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:27 AM on June 15, 2013

X notwithstanding, I think we could probably double that.
posted by dg at 4:28 AM on June 15, 2013

Zamboni
posted by klausness at 4:28 AM on June 15, 2013

You have OCD, I have CDO.
posted by dg at 4:28 AM on June 15, 2013

And CDO is just like OCD, but with the letters in the correct (alphabetical) order.
posted by dg at 4:29 AM on June 15, 2013

But Rockwiz is on now and I'm having trouble concentrating.
posted by dg at 4:30 AM on June 15, 2013

Can't keep up with this...
posted by klausness at 4:30 AM on June 15, 2013

Don't try - just post.
posted by dg at 4:31 AM on June 15, 2013

Equal importance (if not greater) is quantity over quality at this point.
posted by dg at 4:32 AM on June 15, 2013

Group hug! {{{{}}}}
posted by pianissimo at 4:32 AM on June 15, 2013

For we have come too far to fail now.
posted by dg at 4:32 AM on June 15, 2013

Ha! Nice try.
posted by dg at 4:33 AM on June 15, 2013

Health status, personal: sleepless enough to write comments at 4:30AM local time, but interrupted by trips to bathroom...
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:33 AM on June 15, 2013

I tried to get ahead of the game and failed miserably. Now I really need a hug.
posted by pianissimo at 4:34 AM on June 15, 2013

(((just for you)))
posted by flabdablet at 4:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Killing my browser here...
posted by klausness at 4:37 AM on June 15, 2013

Killing my browser now, this thread is.
posted by flabdablet at 4:37 AM on June 15, 2013

Like me, then....
posted by klausness at 4:38 AM on June 15, 2013

My browser was never that healthy to start with...
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Now are we going into the home stretch with zombie browsers?
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:39 AM on June 15, 2013

On TV tonight: The Browsing Dead
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Probably optimistic to expect a laptop built in 2001 to deal with this monster.
posted by flabdablet at 4:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Quite slow here
posted by klausness at 4:42 AM on June 15, 2013

Really? Not as slow as I would have expected, actually.
posted by dg at 4:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Slow as cold molasses here.
posted by flabdablet at 4:44 AM on June 15, 2013

/me sends a hug across the country to painissimo
posted by dg at 4:44 AM on June 15, 2013

T'oh!
posted by dg at 4:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Then again, I know slow... used to commute in LosAngeles
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Slower than I expected at this point....
posted by klausness at 4:46 AM on June 15, 2013

Up: can you keep it?
posted by flabdablet at 4:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Very much so, with the occasional slip.
posted by dg at 4:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Well, with the thread, anyway.
posted by dg at 4:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Well, that's all right then.
posted by flabdablet at 4:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Xcept, I'm watching Rockwiz and am male, therefore incapable of multi-tasking.
posted by dg at 4:49 AM on June 15, 2013

And given the lag on my machine, I'll try this now....
posted by klausness at 4:50 AM on June 15, 2013

Yes, I did guess all the 'million dollar riffs', even the one with a single guitar chord.
posted by dg at 4:51 AM on June 15, 2013

You overlagged.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Z. the Zamboni.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:52 AM on June 15, 2013

Zeems to be a bit of that going around.
posted by dg at 4:52 AM on June 15, 2013

And C has to be next, because we've already done B.
posted by dg at 4:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Can't be sure it's really C....
posted by klausness at 4:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Betting against it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:56 AM on June 15, 2013

Damnit people!
posted by dg at 4:57 AM on June 15, 2013

D'oh.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:57 AM on June 15, 2013

Extraneous B we have now.
posted by dg at 4:57 AM on June 15, 2013

(especially surprised I didn't get the duplication bug, but I think the last time I posted "D'oh" it was with a "!")
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Forget about it an move on!
posted by dg at 4:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Gah!
posted by dg at 4:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Got no extraneous B here...
posted by klausness at 4:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Had many extraneous W's before...
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:59 AM on June 15, 2013

However, E and G are another story
posted by klausness at 5:00 AM on June 15, 2013

I like watching SBS where people can say 'Fuck' on TV and nobody notices.
posted by dg at 5:01 AM on June 15, 2013

It's always another story...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:01 AM on June 15, 2013

Just like with I
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:01 AM on June 15, 2013

Just one story, there is. Only with different characters.
posted by dg at 5:02 AM on June 15, 2013

Leave the place for a few minutes and you've done another round!

Thanks for the hugs.
posted by pianissimo at 5:02 AM on June 15, 2013

'k it is - you can have all the hugs you want.
posted by dg at 5:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Like I said before, maybe we should just assume we get two entries for every letter in the home stretch.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Maybe yes, maybe no.
posted by dg at 5:04 AM on June 15, 2013

Moping around waiting for hugs won't help.
posted by jaduncan at 5:04 AM on June 15, 2013

Or, you know, maybe you'll get lucky.
posted by jaduncan at 5:05 AM on June 15, 2013

Probably not though.
posted by jaduncan at 5:05 AM on June 15, 2013

Poor are the chances of me getting lucky in the foreseeable future.
posted by dg at 5:05 AM on June 15, 2013

Quite likely you won't.
posted by jaduncan at 5:05 AM on June 15, 2013

no....lucky does not describe my attempts at anticipating.
posted by pianissimo at 5:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Real question - what is the target number of comments we are seeking?
posted by dg at 5:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Seems like we could knock it off in the next hour or so at the rate we're going.
posted by dg at 5:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Some say 8517, some think 8218?
posted by pianissimo at 5:08 AM on June 15, 2013

semi-seriously, maybe I should just outsource my punning
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:08 AM on June 15, 2013

The people who say 8218 are correct.
posted by jaduncan at 5:08 AM on June 15, 2013

the MeFi Wiki sez 8185...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Um, Currently running at 103 per hour.
posted by dg at 5:10 AM on June 15, 2013

very good... didn't think it'd hold up at that rate with out more breakage
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:11 AM on June 15, 2013

Very possible to meet the quota in about 3 hours at this rate.
posted by dg at 5:11 AM on June 15, 2013

wait until twoleftfeet regains consciousness
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Well, oneswellfoop, I still think that a universally acknowledged win is better.
posted by jaduncan at 5:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Xcept the infodumpster says 8218.
posted by klausness at 5:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Yes I just clicked on the previous record holding thread *slaps forehead* and it had 8185. So we need 8186. We can do it!
posted by pianissimo at 5:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Xactly, although I think it's unlikely for this pave to be maintained until that happens, but it's a nice buffer to have.
posted by dg at 5:13 AM on June 15, 2013

zoinkies! I think we've uncovered another bug!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:14 AM on June 15, 2013

Xerotic following of the wiki is a bad idea.
posted by jaduncan at 5:14 AM on June 15, 2013

Ah, the infodumpster includes deleted comments.
posted by klausness at 5:14 AM on June 15, 2013

And that would be...?
posted by dg at 5:14 AM on June 15, 2013

and maybe the infodumpster count includes deleted comments?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:15 AM on June 15, 2013

Awesome, we got to Z *and* agreement on numbers.
posted by jaduncan at 5:15 AM on June 15, 2013

Crap! klausness had my thought at the same time I did.
posted by dg at 5:15 AM on June 15, 2013

But I said that already!
posted by klausness at 5:15 AM on June 15, 2013

But now I don't know which is the canonical number - do deleted comments count?
posted by dg at 5:16 AM on June 15, 2013

D'oh...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:16 AM on June 15, 2013

Each of my "D'oh"s has different punctuation to avoid the dupe bug
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:17 AM on June 15, 2013

For certainty's sake, the largest number should be the target.
posted by dg at 5:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Frankly, do you think they deleted anything from THIS thread?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:18 AM on June 15, 2013

God knows, it always pays to take into account the worst pedants around here.
posted by dg at 5:19 AM on June 15, 2013

Hell, I think they've even forgotten this place exists at this point.
posted by dg at 5:20 AM on June 15, 2013

I've seen cortex post about a thousand comments ago
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:21 AM on June 15, 2013

I think the infodumpster number is achievable, anyway.
posted by dg at 5:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Just about 300 (or 330) to go...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Just to be sure, to be sure.
posted by dg at 5:22 AM on June 15, 2013

Keeping an obsessive count uses up comments...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:22 AM on June 15, 2013

Kortex abandoned us long ago.
posted by dg at 5:22 AM on June 15, 2013

Losers aim low, winners aim high.
posted by jaduncan at 5:23 AM on June 15, 2013

Look, obsession is like rule #1 on MeFi.
posted by dg at 5:23 AM on June 15, 2013

Most of us don't aim at all.
posted by dg at 5:24 AM on June 15, 2013

No aim = no chance of missing.
posted by dg at 5:25 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh, I always hit SOMETHING
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:25 AM on June 15, 2013

Of course, nobody wants to miss.
posted by dg at 5:25 AM on June 15, 2013

Probably someONE
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:26 AM on June 15, 2013

Pissing is an activity where I always hit something.
posted by dg at 5:26 AM on June 15, 2013

Quite rare that I hit someone, though.
posted by dg at 5:27 AM on June 15, 2013

Really am 12, aren't I?
posted by dg at 5:28 AM on June 15, 2013

Sort of hard to act my age, most of the time.
posted by dg at 5:29 AM on June 15, 2013

The principle I live by, though, is that you have to grow old, but you don't have to grow up.
posted by dg at 5:29 AM on June 15, 2013

Um, where did everyone go?
posted by dg at 5:31 AM on June 15, 2013

Very clear I'm back to talking to myself again.
posted by dg at 5:31 AM on June 15, 2013

Well, at least i can stick to the alphabet that way.
posted by dg at 5:32 AM on June 15, 2013

X marks the spot.
posted by dg at 5:32 AM on June 15, 2013

Yes you can
posted by Kabanos at 5:32 AM on June 15, 2013

Y am I still doing this?
posted by dg at 5:33 AM on June 15, 2013

Yes, you're talking to yourself, and we're all just eavesdropping
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:33 AM on June 15, 2013

Zambin. Its now tradition
posted by Kabanos at 5:33 AM on June 15, 2013

Zealousness. Own it!
posted by pianissimo at 5:33 AM on June 15, 2013

Z'oh!
posted by dg at 5:33 AM on June 15, 2013

Ze fake French accent isn't fooling anyone
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:34 AM on June 15, 2013

Actually, I often feel like I'm talking to myself, so no biggie
posted by dg at 5:34 AM on June 15, 2013

A RECORD NUMBER OF Z's!
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:34 AM on June 15, 2013

Actually i meant zamboni, but ipad.
posted by Kabanos at 5:35 AM on June 15, 2013

Behold! People!
posted by dg at 5:35 AM on June 15, 2013

Beware, too many Z's and it becomes ZZZZZZZZ...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:35 AM on June 15, 2013

'course, now I have to go to bed.
posted by dg at 5:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Dozzzzzzzzing offffff....
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Definitely will be able to check in in the morning, though, to see if you've dragged us across the line while I sleep.
posted by dg at 5:37 AM on June 15, 2013

Even to help us get there if nirvana has not been achieved.
posted by dg at 5:37 AM on June 15, 2013

For now, though, good night and good luck - we're all counting on you.
posted by dg at 5:38 AM on June 15, 2013

GO THE F#$% TO SLEEP
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:40 AM on June 15, 2013

How many times do you have to repeat a "nighty-night"?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:41 AM on June 15, 2013

It almost put me to sleep tooooooooooooo.........
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Just in case you were wondering, my dream job = being in the Rockwiz band.
posted by pianissimo at 5:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Kudos to you.
posted by billiebee at 5:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Likely story.
posted by klausness at 5:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Less than 100 to go is that right?
posted by billiebee at 5:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Much much more talent on my part would be needed. But I can dream.
posted by pianissimo at 5:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Never give up.
posted by billiebee at 5:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh, klausness, you genius... figured out how to link this thread on MeTa's front page one more time (chuckle)
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Puleeze... 8185 minus 7932 is about 250 to go
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:52 AM on June 15, 2013

Query: don't sleep.
posted by Namlit at 5:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Quickly, less than 70 to get to 8000!
posted by pianissimo at 5:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Rather plod on
posted by Namlit at 5:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Some faster than others
posted by Namlit at 5:55 AM on June 15, 2013

True story
posted by Namlit at 5:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Unbelievable but nevertheless
posted by Namlit at 5:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Very touching
posted by Namlit at 5:56 AM on June 15, 2013

While nobody knows what the topic is any more, myself including. Which means that
posted by Namlit at 5:57 AM on June 15, 2013

xylophones, again, are a good bet.
posted by Namlit at 5:57 AM on June 15, 2013

You can make noise with them and also
posted by Namlit at 5:58 AM on June 15, 2013

zey provide an "x"
posted by Namlit at 5:58 AM on June 15, 2013

You didn't notice we'd totally given up on topics?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:58 AM on June 15, 2013

'Allo? Am I Alone here? (or do I have to take a shower or something...)
posted by Namlit at 5:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Adding and subtracting is not my thang.
posted by billiebee at 5:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Bah, topics shmopics. We can free form
posted by Namlit at 5:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Currently callouses on fingertips. A month of alphabetic order
posted by Namlit at 6:00 AM on June 15, 2013

Dubious influences on conversations:
posted by Namlit at 6:01 AM on June 15, 2013

Evidently I've started talking in alphabet order
posted by Namlit at 6:01 AM on June 15, 2013

Fun for me,
posted by Namlit at 6:02 AM on June 15, 2013

Friends will be confused.
posted by billiebee at 6:02 AM on June 15, 2013

Grossly embarrassing for my conversation partners.
posted by Namlit at 6:02 AM on June 15, 2013

Hurfdurf. We didn't have that one yet
posted by Namlit at 6:03 AM on June 15, 2013

I can't believe it. Which other meme is still missing?
posted by Namlit at 6:04 AM on June 15, 2013

Just that one??
posted by Namlit at 6:04 AM on June 15, 2013

Kudos or something for someone or other
posted by Namlit at 6:05 AM on June 15, 2013

Keep calm! You're losing it...
posted by billiebee at 6:05 AM on June 15, 2013

Least thing I need now is a hiccup on "k", right...
posted by Namlit at 6:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Maybe Rickrolling? (I know I've never done that link)
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Mos' def.
posted by Night_owl at 6:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Merde! I am alone again.
posted by Namlit at 6:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Nevertheless, well fed with Rillettes, terrine de canard, gorgonzola, and French dry cured ham.
posted by Namlit at 6:07 AM on June 15, 2013

No you're not dont fret.
posted by billiebee at 6:08 AM on June 15, 2013

Or, in other words: there was an international food market in Borås today, so we splurged
posted by Namlit at 6:08 AM on June 15, 2013

Phew. Good to know.
posted by Namlit at 6:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Quite a stretch for a harpsichordist to fret. That's what lute players do, and gamba players.
posted by Namlit at 6:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Quality purchases?
posted by billiebee at 6:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Rather, yes. And cheap too.
posted by Namlit at 6:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Specialty salamis three for the price of two, or something
posted by Namlit at 6:11 AM on June 15, 2013

Spill, what did you get?
posted by billiebee at 6:11 AM on June 15, 2013

terrine de canard? Ooh, how fancy pants!
posted by h00py at 6:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Tantalizingly different from last month when some greek vendor sold me olives and feta cheese for their weight in gold
posted by Namlit at 6:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Underestimating quality salami should never occur.
posted by h00py at 6:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Vegetarian, so wasted on me.
posted by billiebee at 6:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Verily. We got three, three pots of terrines, one with rillettes and a half-kilo ham. Yum yum
posted by Namlit at 6:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Well, how about a luscious portobello?
posted by h00py at 6:14 AM on June 15, 2013

Whereas everyone else was crowding in front of the Paella place.
posted by Namlit at 6:14 AM on June 15, 2013

xcruciating long queues in front of the French cheese place too so we didn't get any of those.
posted by Namlit at 6:15 AM on June 15, 2013

Xylocarp is nice too, I'm told.
posted by h00py at 6:15 AM on June 15, 2013

Yum - love a portobello stuffed with cheese.
posted by billiebee at 6:15 AM on June 15, 2013

You won't believe, though that Borås and Gothenburg are the home to one of the best coffee joints of the world.
posted by Namlit at 6:16 AM on June 15, 2013

Zere, I said it.
posted by Namlit at 6:16 AM on June 15, 2013

Zero complaints over here if presented with a lovely fat stuffed mushroom.
posted by h00py at 6:16 AM on June 15, 2013

And what, pray, is the name of said coffee heaven?
posted by Namlit at 6:17 AM on June 15, 2013

As a comparison, my tastes aren't just pedestrian, they're jaywalking...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:17 AM on June 15, 2013

Beware, here it comes:
posted by Namlit at 6:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Carl's Coffee Cafe?
posted by h00py at 6:18 AM on June 15, 2013

da Matteo!
posted by Namlit at 6:18 AM on June 15, 2013

didn't he used to be a MeFite?
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:19 AM on June 15, 2013

Espresso, cappuccino and so on, highest standards..
posted by Namlit at 6:20 AM on June 15, 2013

every brand name belongs to a current or past MeFite
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:20 AM on June 15, 2013

Fun, right? We live, as the Germans say, am Arsch der Welt, and thousands of miles from our family (sniff) but we have the best coffee imaginable
posted by Namlit at 6:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Great, so here's literally a good sarcastic use of the word ironic.
posted by Namlit at 6:22 AM on June 15, 2013

Have we ironed this out? Fine. Time to move on.
posted by Namlit at 6:22 AM on June 15, 2013

I met Oscar Mayer, Mrs. Butterworth and Mr. Clean at a Mefi Meetup...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:23 AM on June 15, 2013

I never iron anything. Fact.
posted by billiebee at 6:23 AM on June 15, 2013

Just Jeans favourited me once.
posted by h00py at 6:24 AM on June 15, 2013

Kan't shrink them, though.
posted by Namlit at 6:25 AM on June 15, 2013

Kinda similar here, although it's a complete turn around because I was very particular about ironed clothes once upon a time.
posted by h00py at 6:25 AM on June 15, 2013

Lame, I know. Sorry.
posted by Namlit at 6:25 AM on June 15, 2013

My skillets are cast iron. Now, if you'd actually cast them, you'll have some irony in the kitchen, I swear.
posted by Namlit at 6:26 AM on June 15, 2013

No one ever confused me with Iron Man.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:26 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh, but it isn't too late for that.
posted by Namlit at 6:27 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh, I ron I ron so far awee.
posted by h00py at 6:27 AM on June 15, 2013

Perhaps you need a better costume.
posted by billiebee at 6:28 AM on June 15, 2013

Piedough man was the original spider man, but then the thread moved on
posted by Namlit at 6:28 AM on June 15, 2013

Quite intriguing.. tell us the story of Piedough Man!
posted by h00py at 6:29 AM on June 15, 2013

Rider man didn't know Piedough man
posted by Namlit at 6:30 AM on June 15, 2013

Spider-Man, maybe I'd be confused with... so many cobwebs...
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:31 AM on June 15, 2013

Spider man, on the other hand, came in stage right and just took the role and said. needs more spider. And that was that, apparently.
posted by Namlit at 6:31 AM on June 15, 2013

That was short and sweet.
posted by billiebee at 6:32 AM on June 15, 2013

The ways of Hollywood are unfathomable, I give you that.
posted by Namlit at 6:32 AM on June 15, 2013

Under the cover of darkness, piedough man sneaked off into the bakery, and when we next saw him he was sideshow cookie dude in the Shrek series.
posted by Namlit at 6:33 AM on June 15, 2013

Verily a good career for someone who was pushed aside by Spiderman.
posted by Namlit at 6:34 AM on June 15, 2013

While Riderman, sadly, never made it. General Motors poisoned his horses and gave him a Chevy Caprice and that was that.
posted by Namlit at 6:35 AM on June 15, 2013

Well, now I'm watching Vanilla Sky.
posted by solarion at 6:35 AM on June 15, 2013

Way to go, pie/dough man!
posted by billiebee at 6:35 AM on June 15, 2013

Well, I thought it got a bit stale towards the end.
posted by h00py at 6:36 AM on June 15, 2013

X-man on the other hand, had a condition which made him fear loneliness. That's why we have x-men
posted by Namlit at 6:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Zero trust in my stale tale. I say!
posted by Namlit at 6:37 AM on June 15, 2013

And then what happened?!
posted by h00py at 6:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Bakery antics, I assume.
posted by solarion at 6:39 AM on June 15, 2013

Can't recall. I think spiderman feasted on flylady and it was messy.
posted by Namlit at 6:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Carnal shenanigans with the choux dough, perverse usage of yeast, unholy icing sugar orgies!
posted by h00py at 6:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Do believe me, there was a reason why I started talking about Göran upthread.
posted by Namlit at 6:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Especially since Göran is so vague. Less messy. Like many Swedes, I fear I must say.
posted by Namlit at 6:42 AM on June 15, 2013

You got it: time machines!
posted by flabdablet at 6:42 AM on June 15, 2013

Flylady must have been pleased.
posted by billiebee at 6:42 AM on June 15, 2013

Excited to hear more about umlaut boy. Tell me, is his cat safe?
posted by h00py at 6:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Fine. I'll tell you about riderman and his caprice.
posted by Namlit at 6:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Got it wedged into a tight parking spot
posted by Namlit at 6:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Had no way to get out
posted by Namlit at 6:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Inside, he took an can opener
posted by Namlit at 6:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Jammed it into the roof
posted by Namlit at 6:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Klutzed around for a while
posted by Namlit at 6:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Let himself be badly ripped in the process
posted by Namlit at 6:46 AM on June 15, 2013

Meaty rip along his forearm
posted by Namlit at 6:46 AM on June 15, 2013

Not beautiful, I assure
posted by Namlit at 6:47 AM on June 15, 2013

On he went with the can opener
posted by Namlit at 6:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Perfectly desperate
posted by Namlit at 6:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Questioning the meaning of life and things like that
posted by Namlit at 6:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Right to the point when he finally busted through the roof
posted by Namlit at 6:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Taters are delicious.
posted by klausness at 6:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Sillily laughing
posted by Namlit at 6:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Triumphant
posted by Namlit at 6:50 AM on June 15, 2013

Unbelieving, too
posted by Namlit at 6:50 AM on June 15, 2013

V. I mean V. V. like v.
vvv
um.
posted by Namlit at 6:51 AM on June 15, 2013

wildly jumping, in fact and
posted by Namlit at 6:52 AM on June 15, 2013

xabloinking his head right into a t beam above, thus ending the story with a resounding bonggg.
posted by Namlit at 6:52 AM on June 15, 2013

You tell it well.
posted by billiebee at 6:57 AM on June 15, 2013

Zus ended the story of riderman in the chevy.
posted by Namlit at 7:01 AM on June 15, 2013

A cat has nine lives and no umlaut. That's what makes it succeed where all Görans bite the dust.
posted by Namlit at 7:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Best be a little epic about it. Göran's cat had a fine nine lives.
posted by Namlit at 7:04 AM on June 15, 2013

Cataclysms, with extra clysms in them, sort of.
posted by Namlit at 7:04 AM on June 15, 2013

Dear little beastie! No nonviolent communication for that one, I assure you.
posted by Namlit at 7:05 AM on June 15, 2013

Every minute, any minute really, it was claws out for it.
posted by Namlit at 7:06 AM on June 15, 2013

F words are fun, it thought. Fight...Fuck...
posted by Namlit at 7:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Göran's cat lived gloriously and fast, yet long.
posted by Namlit at 7:07 AM on June 15, 2013

He may be long gone (a thousand comments gone), cat lives on.
posted by Namlit at 7:08 AM on June 15, 2013

Incessantly feasting on the remainders of David Niven, that much I admit.
posted by Namlit at 7:08 AM on June 15, 2013

Just barely a little sheepish - cats have a conscience too, albeit a weird one - but blithely chomping on. Shin-win.
posted by Namlit at 7:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Key for knowing what I'm talking about, btw. is to read this entire thread.
posted by Namlit at 7:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Lusciously...

Wait. Don't hold your breath, y'all. You're getting blue in the face! It's creepy.
posted by Namlit at 7:11 AM on June 15, 2013

Meaty bits were long gone, but cat was holding on to its seventh life and a bunch of chewy sinews. Time to move on.
posted by Namlit at 7:12 AM on June 15, 2013

My dear fellow, I've never gone away!
posted by h00py at 7:13 AM on June 15, 2013

New topic?
posted by billiebee at 7:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Neatly, it licked its forepaws, turned on the spot, and as cats do, walked out of the story and out of the reckoning of man.
posted by Namlit at 7:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Not forgetting Frodo, of course, lurking solemnly in the bushes.
posted by h00py at 7:14 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh yes, indeed. This cat is gone. Definitely.
posted by Namlit at 7:14 AM on June 15, 2013

Quite the dude that frodo. Stamping around Middle Earth with those gigantic contacts in front of him...
posted by Namlit at 7:15 AM on June 15, 2013

Poor cat, I didn't mean to dismiss prematurely.
posted by billiebee at 7:15 AM on June 15, 2013

Pippin, however, was a nonce. But still, he had his charms.
posted by h00py at 7:16 AM on June 15, 2013

Right on cue you were, in fact. He's fine, just turned into a legend
posted by Namlit at 7:16 AM on June 15, 2013

Sam. Let's talk about him for a while. What are you doin' where are you goin' like.
posted by Namlit at 7:17 AM on June 15, 2013

The dram of westernesse is what HE needed, just to relax.
posted by Namlit at 7:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Unruly T there, I think.
posted by billiebee at 7:19 AM on June 15, 2013

Very nice lad, our Sam. Grows a good pumpkin, I'll be bound.
posted by h00py at 7:20 AM on June 15, 2013

We are closing in!
posted by pianissimo at 7:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Xtremely close (close enough to cheat?)
posted by billiebee at 7:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Xceptional, this whole thing has been.
posted by pianissimo at 7:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Y'all are awesome.

I'm calling us metalphabefites. Let's see if it sticks.
posted by pianissimo at 7:22 AM on June 15, 2013

Y is this thread still going?
posted by Wordshore at 7:22 AM on June 15, 2013

Zappadap. Sam makes this noise never. He sounds more like flump flump.
posted by Namlit at 7:22 AM on June 15, 2013

Ah. So we're gonna be the women and men of letternesse. I feel it. Eppic.
posted by Namlit at 7:24 AM on June 15, 2013

A great idea, but hard to say.
posted by billiebee at 7:24 AM on June 15, 2013

Behold, the underliner
posted by Namlit at 7:26 AM on June 15, 2013

Cause, what really is the diff between L and M
posted by Namlit at 7:27 AM on June 15, 2013

Behold, we are Metalphabephites of Letternesse! Stand and be heard!
posted by h00py at 7:27 AM on June 15, 2013

*Cue applause*
posted by billiebee at 7:28 AM on June 15, 2013

Down on your knees and grovel, lurkers and mockers!
posted by h00py at 7:28 AM on June 15, 2013

Eh. How much do we have left now? Anyone count? I lost it.
posted by Namlit at 7:29 AM on June 15, 2013

Even as you type your puny words with your ineffectual tippy tappy tinniness, we are greeting history in the face and laughing!
posted by h00py at 7:29 AM on June 15, 2013

Fuck me -- I completely missed this thread!
posted by tzikeh at 7:31 AM on June 15, 2013

Flags will wave!
posted by billiebee at 7:31 AM on June 15, 2013

Go, Metal Phabephites. Meet your destiny.
posted by h00py at 7:33 AM on June 15, 2013

Gimme a break...History has a face? I thought it only has tiny tiny windows...
posted by Namlit at 7:33 AM on June 15, 2013

Hark!
posted by box at 7:33 AM on June 15, 2013

I completely missed this thread -- fuck me!
posted by tzikeh at 7:34 AM on June 15, 2013

Just in time to give it a final push
posted by Namlit at 7:34 AM on June 15, 2013

Just think, tzikeh, you are now almost part of history.
posted by h00py at 7:35 AM on June 15, 2013

Kick!
posted by box at 7:35 AM on June 15, 2013

Lark. Squeak. I mean: what
posted by Namlit at 7:35 AM on June 15, 2013

Missed this thread completely, I did--fuck me!
posted by box at 7:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Lets do this thing!
posted by billiebee at 7:36 AM on June 15, 2013

I am in awe.
posted by deadmessenger at 7:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Men and women of Letternesse. Together. Charge!
posted by h00py at 7:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Merry flags, will wag like the tongues of hobbits. And pippin flags.
posted by Namlit at 7:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Not in sequence also.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Oops.
posted by tzikeh at 7:37 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh who cares about sequence now.
posted by Namlit at 7:37 AM on June 15, 2013

Thread, completely fucked! Me, I missed this!
posted by box at 7:37 AM on June 15, 2013

Press on!
posted by h00py at 7:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Previously, large epics were posted, about Göran and the cat and stuff, but now, reloading takes for ages, so just hammer along.
posted by Namlit at 7:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Quitting is not an option, soldier.
posted by h00py at 7:39 AM on June 15, 2013

Quietly pondering - is this the time for the last mad rush?
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:39 AM on June 15, 2013

Quell the mutiny, order must prevail.
posted by billiebee at 7:39 AM on June 15, 2013

Quilting is a great hobby did you know
posted by Namlit at 7:39 AM on June 15, 2013

Random comment is not quite random.
posted by tzikeh at 7:39 AM on June 15, 2013

Reloading is just the threads way of making you regret everything you just typed.
posted by h00py at 7:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Right. America is awoken. What a boost.
posted by Namlit at 7:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Robert Frost once wrote something that could be applied to this situation.
posted by box at 7:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Some decorum must be maintained at all times. This is an alphabet thread, not a madhouse.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Some would falter at this point, but I know you've got it in you.
posted by h00py at 7:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Several posters craft several letter posts several times - see:
posted by Namlit at 7:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Thread golf is also an option - you fire off a future comment and hope it lands in the right spot.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Teriyaki is not a potion, nor an option.
posted by Namlit at 7:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Under hill under dale we will type without prevail and the thread will go rolling along.
posted by h00py at 7:42 AM on June 15, 2013

Unbelievable tension right now...
posted by billiebee at 7:42 AM on June 15, 2013

Under my breath: that was a non sequitur.
posted by Namlit at 7:42 AM on June 15, 2013

Vera, can you hear me?
posted by h00py at 7:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Very difficult to think of a new story under these circumstances.
posted by Namlit at 7:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Victory is within our grasp!
posted by tzikeh at 7:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Wildly disconcerting. Vera ain't listening, I promise.
posted by Namlit at 7:43 AM on June 15, 2013

We could do it, you know.
posted by h00py at 7:43 AM on June 15, 2013

What is victory? There is only the alphabet thread.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:43 AM on June 15, 2013

We shall prevail.
posted by billiebee at 7:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Xactly one. Alphabet. Thread.
posted by Namlit at 7:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Xylopyrography is said to be very interesting too.
posted by h00py at 7:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Xenophon has probably written something pertinent on pressing on, but I suck at the humanities.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Ye gods. Is it already 4:45!
posted by Namlit at 7:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Yes, I do have a list of unusual words beginning with x open in another tab.
posted by h00py at 7:46 AM on June 15, 2013

Approaching the target. Hoping someone covered Z...
posted by billiebee at 7:46 AM on June 15, 2013

Zip goes time when you're having fun. It's only 12.45 here, I can stay up for hours yet!
posted by h00py at 7:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Ze German. It's always ze German who covers the Z
posted by Namlit at 7:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Augh billiebee - use the edit window! QUICK!
posted by tzikeh at 7:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Be not afraid, sister. I'm right here.
posted by h00py at 7:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Becoming historical. We will.
posted by Namlit at 7:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Barely mid afternoon here. Bring it on!
posted by billiebee at 7:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Carefree posting is required here. No time for arggh
posted by Namlit at 7:49 AM on June 15, 2013

'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings!
posted by h00py at 7:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Doing 1am here.
posted by solarion at 7:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Don't cry out loud.
posted by h00py at 7:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Can't do 1am here cause i am there.
posted by Namlit at 7:50 AM on June 15, 2013

Eh- well. Okay.
posted by Namlit at 7:50 AM on June 15, 2013

Freak out!
posted by h00py at 7:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Easy does it....
posted by tzikeh at 7:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Fast and fasterer is what this is.
posted by Namlit at 7:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Geez, seems very fast right now. Everybody caffeinated or something?
posted by solarion at 7:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Goran ok? He hasn't shown up in a while.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Gearing up for light speed. Re L O A D
posted by Namlit at 7:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Great god in the morning, there you are!
posted by h00py at 7:52 AM on June 15, 2013

How many more do we need?
posted by tzikeh at 7:52 AM on June 15, 2013

Hah. I TOLD you his cat outlived Göran.
posted by Namlit at 7:52 AM on June 15, 2013

I just don't know what to do with myself.
posted by h00py at 7:52 AM on June 15, 2013

I wonder who will cross the line?
posted by billiebee at 7:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Hm, I think there's four of us right now. Take turns?
posted by solarion at 7:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Just don't cross the streams.
posted by tzikeh at 7:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Just keep typing, I say.
posted by h00py at 7:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Just sent my girlfriend down to make a fire (central heating. Wood. Don't ask) I can't leave here now.
posted by Namlit at 7:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Let's have some colour pictures of 1920s Paris.
posted by solarion at 7:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Kindle that wood!
posted by h00py at 7:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Keep warm, keep strong.
posted by billiebee at 7:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Kranky is what I get when people skip the K.
posted by Namlit at 7:55 AM on June 15, 2013

My understanding of the alphabet doesn't go quite like this....
posted by tzikeh at 7:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Let's try this again
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Linda told herself it wouldn't matter if she wasn't the first to get L, but inside she was actually invested in it.
posted by h00py at 7:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Meanwhile. I'm trying to gather my wits to find back to whatever story I was trying to tell. It's all gone oh age.
posted by Namlit at 7:56 AM on June 15, 2013

My fingers betray me again!
posted by h00py at 7:56 AM on June 15, 2013

Let go, let's go.
posted by box at 7:56 AM on June 15, 2013

Nevermind, nearly there!
posted by billiebee at 7:56 AM on June 15, 2013

Normal alphabets haven't such slow re-load rates.
posted by Namlit at 7:57 AM on June 15, 2013

N-dimensional space.
posted by solarion at 7:57 AM on June 15, 2013

Obviously I type as fast as the next person here, but I just can't keep up.
posted by Namlit at 7:57 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh glory be! Let us thunder toward the end.
posted by h00py at 7:57 AM on June 15, 2013

POWER ON!
posted by tzikeh at 7:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Pray tell, where's the end?
posted by solarion at 7:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh we did it!
posted by billiebee at 7:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Pest and pestilence, said Göran's cat as it entered the alternative universe of its eighth life.
posted by Namlit at 7:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Perfectly fine, Namlit.
posted by h00py at 7:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Quite a cat, huh.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Quid? Said the roman soldier that stood in front of it..
posted by Namlit at 7:59 AM on June 15, 2013

Quality nonsense, my friends. Well done.
posted by h00py at 7:59 AM on June 15, 2013

*round of applause*
posted by pianissimo at 8:00 AM on June 15, 2013

Round of drinks for all!
posted by billiebee at 8:00 AM on June 15, 2013

Really? That's it?
posted by tzikeh at 8:00 AM on June 15, 2013

Rather. How fine is it really, if a cat awaits rats and ends up with a Roman soldier...
posted by Namlit at 8:00 AM on June 15, 2013

Slainte!
posted by box at 8:00 AM on June 15, 2013

So much to see, so much to do
posted by h00py at 8:01 AM on June 15, 2013

So we abandon a poor cat in its eighth life with an out of time experience because of DRINKS? Ok cheers then! Hey great job everyone. Oh tears
posted by Namlit at 8:01 AM on June 15, 2013

The cat would just bump the roman soldier on the leg. He don't care. Pat me or not, you fucker.
posted by h00py at 8:02 AM on June 15, 2013

TOMATO JUICE TOMATO SEEDS TOMATO JUICE TOMATO SEEDS TOMATO JUICE TOMATO SEEDS TOMATO JUICE TOMATO SEEDS TOMATO JUICE TOMATO SEEDS
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:02 AM on June 15, 2013

Um...it's done and I can't seem to stop...
posted by billiebee at 8:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Unquestionably the most pointless thing I've done today. BUT I DON'T CARE!
posted by tzikeh at 8:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Uh, what the hell do I buy my father for Father's Day? He likes cheap beer, expensive golf equipment and collecting power tools that he never uses.
posted by box at 8:03 AM on June 15, 2013

Undisputed. Cats are weird. I know.
posted by Namlit at 8:04 AM on June 15, 2013

Virtually all that's left to do now is to type as much as possible to make our record unassailable.
posted by h00py at 8:04 AM on June 15, 2013

WHAT

THE

FUCK

MATT?
posted by tzikeh at 8:05 AM on June 15, 2013

Well, what about a leatherman?
posted by h00py at 8:05 AM on June 15, 2013

You buy him a beer glass full of golf balls.
posted by billiebee at 8:06 AM on June 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Y'all, who was it that crossed the line? Lost my calculations here...
posted by Namlit at 8:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Xeransis is not needed now. There is still a lot to say.
posted by h00py at 8:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Zamb-ohwell
posted by Namlit at 8:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Xanadu at the Tony Awards.

(Y'all suck at the alphabet, btw.)
posted by tzikeh at 8:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Zowie, a keychain-size Leatherman tool and some golf balls with the logo of a thing on them. He likes those, too.
posted by box at 8:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Are we really on the other side? Cause I don't feel anything.
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Ah yes... Sorry.
posted by billiebee at 8:08 AM on June 15, 2013

Believe it, Dracator.
posted by solarion at 8:08 AM on June 15, 2013

Believe it or not, I feel a dram coming my way. I thank my partner for her patience. Bows all around...
posted by Namlit at 8:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Could be the beginning, not just the ending.
posted by h00py at 8:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Can't leave though. Curious about the life after, it seems.
posted by Namlit at 8:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Dude, your partner is a superstar.
posted by h00py at 8:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Do go on, pray, women and men of letternesse!
posted by Namlit at 8:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Ever look at your hand? I mean, really look at it?
posted by tzikeh at 8:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Even in the throes of a typing extravaganza, she makes you a fire? Superstar.
posted by h00py at 8:11 AM on June 15, 2013

Fame must await us all on metafilter, no?
posted by billiebee at 8:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Fun was had.
posted by tzikeh at 8:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Fire making superstar bogged down by frantically typing dude in the woods. I can see the headlines.
posted by Namlit at 8:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Fire and brimstone, cinder and ashes. The story is not told yet, my friends.
posted by h00py at 8:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Great fun. Also, the women and men of letternesse were legend.
posted by Namlit at 8:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Go on with you, we've got to make it to the closing of the thread, yet!
posted by h00py at 8:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Have I mentioned Göran?
posted by Namlit at 8:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Hasselkvist, that is.
posted by Namlit at 8:14 AM on June 15, 2013

How about everyone scrolls back to the beginning and mentions their favourite bits? Nostalgia is a beautiful thing.
posted by h00py at 8:14 AM on June 15, 2013

Hugs to all of you. It's been an experience. Now I must go and drink gin in your honour, and try to remember what I used to do with my spare time.
posted by billiebee at 8:14 AM on June 15, 2013

I have nothing clever to say.
posted by tzikeh at 8:14 AM on June 15, 2013

I wonder how long it would take to read this entire thread?
posted by double block and bleed at 8:14 AM on June 15, 2013

I like gin, too.
posted by h00py at 8:15 AM on June 15, 2013

Just this one thing: I genuinely had fun. No irony.
posted by Namlit at 8:15 AM on June 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Just dance.
posted by h00py at 8:15 AM on June 15, 2013

Krap. I still don't know what to do with the k.
posted by Namlit at 8:16 AM on June 15, 2013

LATER THAT NIGHT YOU FALL ASLEEP

yeah, K's a trickier one.
posted by solarion at 8:16 AM on June 15, 2013

Leave it there, and keep walking.
posted by box at 8:17 AM on June 15, 2013

Luscious Whisky for me. Just wait...
posted by Namlit at 8:17 AM on June 15, 2013

Metafilter: Leave it there, and keep walking.
posted by tzikeh at 8:17 AM on June 15, 2013

Maybe now is the time to think of that story you lost before?
posted by h00py at 8:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Might think, one would, that I'd gotten the hang on the "k" after a hundred or so turns, but nope.
posted by Namlit at 8:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Never will K be tamed.
posted by solarion at 8:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Now which story was that again...the one with the Roman soldier? Cat don't care a shit. Cat just goes about its day. Like honey badger, in fact.
posted by Namlit at 8:19 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh, and does anybody know what the previous comment record was?
posted by solarion at 8:19 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh come now, kalpis is a lovely word.
posted by h00py at 8:20 AM on June 15, 2013

Put some silent "k"s in there. Knapsack, knees, knives, knowledge...
posted by tzikeh at 8:20 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh. I think we didn't even mention the honey badger earlier. That is a bit problematic.
posted by Namlit at 8:20 AM on June 15, 2013

Quixotically, it's past the cutoff point here and I get to type on and on and on.
posted by h00py at 8:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Quitting for a while here. Must have whisky. Also check on partner and fire. I'll forward your appreciation, thanks.
posted by Namlit at 8:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Really, I can type forever!
posted by h00py at 8:22 AM on June 15, 2013

"Ratel" is the lesser-known name for the honey badger.
posted by tzikeh at 8:22 AM on June 15, 2013

'Rahzel' is a beatboxer.
posted by box at 8:25 AM on June 15, 2013

"Slorgontia" is a completely made up word meaning small puddle of gelatinous muck you step on whilst barefoot in your own kitchen.
posted by h00py at 8:25 AM on June 15, 2013

The previous record was 8185. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.
posted by pianissimo at 8:26 AM on June 15, 2013

"Trickle" is a car racer.
posted by h00py at 8:26 AM on June 15, 2013

8218, maybe?
posted by box at 8:30 AM on June 15, 2013

Um, 8218 was the previous record.
posted by h00py at 8:31 AM on June 15, 2013

Verily, 'tis a jinx.
posted by h00py at 8:31 AM on June 15, 2013

We had that debate upthread. 8218 includes deleted comments. But, we should be able to overtake that too!
posted by pianissimo at 8:32 AM on June 15, 2013

Well okay, let's face it, you beat me. Same minute, though!
posted by h00py at 8:32 AM on June 15, 2013

Whoa, includes deleted comments? I totally missed that debate.
posted by box at 8:33 AM on June 15, 2013

We're just avoiding "x" now.
posted by tzikeh at 8:33 AM on June 15, 2013

'Xi' and 'xu' sometimes come in handy while playing Scrabble.
posted by box at 8:34 AM on June 15, 2013

Xerophily, I'd call it.
posted by h00py at 8:34 AM on June 15, 2013

Xclaimation mark! I see we already beat the 8218. Curse the slow load time!
posted by pianissimo at 8:35 AM on June 15, 2013

You'd think twoleftfeet would come back for the final hours....
posted by tzikeh at 8:35 AM on June 15, 2013

You know, I'm going to miss this thread. So much more fun than twitter.
posted by h00py at 8:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Zero chance of him not coming back before the end.
posted by h00py at 8:37 AM on June 15, 2013

Agnes pondered her tinia.
posted by h00py at 8:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Bentley Bear berated Bill Bradley.
posted by box at 8:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Carl Barks made a vow never to draw dogs.
posted by h00py at 8:39 AM on June 15, 2013

Decidedly good to see this thread through to the end.
posted by arcticseal at 8:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Ever onwards, children of Letternesse.
posted by h00py at 8:40 AM on June 15, 2013

For those who were holding back, Jessamyn just told us to go nuts in this thread.
posted by arcticseal at 8:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Fred felt funny. Fortunately, feeling funny feels funky.
posted by h00py at 8:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Several MB of lulz.
posted by box at 8:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Go nuts? More like throw guts!
posted by h00py at 8:43 AM on June 15, 2013

Jessamyn could have told us this a month ago, just think how creative this thread could have been.
posted by arcticseal at 8:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Yo, butts!
posted by box at 8:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Hey now, don't be forgetting the basic premise of this thing. When in doubt, abuse the edit button. They ain't looking!
posted by h00py at 8:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Joe putts!
posted by box at 8:46 AM on June 15, 2013

Poopstick.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:46 AM on June 15, 2013

I don't think anyone was clear about the premise.
posted by Apropos of Something at 8:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Just kidding, now I understand.
posted by Apropos of Something at 8:47 AM on June 15, 2013

I think you mean glow futz, er slow glutz, um maybe roe guts...
posted by h00py at 8:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Hazel-, that's a good nut.
posted by box at 8:47 AM on June 15, 2013

KEEP TYPING
posted by tzikeh at 8:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Know thus!
posted by h00py at 8:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Linda typed fast and slow ... and then stopped. She thought some more. Could it be true? Was she... Kirk?
posted by h00py at 8:50 AM on June 15, 2013

Legumes, that's what peanuts are, or so I'm told.
posted by box at 8:50 AM on June 15, 2013

Maybe in rhyming couplets now?
posted by tzikeh at 8:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Many people had impersonated him before. Few had succeeded.
posted by h00py at 8:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Never have so many done so much for so little.
posted by tzikeh at 8:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Now we laugh and play and sing
We can do most anything
We can call each other names
Playing stupid, silly games
But enters the awkward dunce
Spoils it all by saying cunts.
posted by h00py at 8:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh, matron!
posted by h00py at 8:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Ovation!
posted by carsonb at 8:56 AM on June 15, 2013

Previously, on Longboat...
posted by h00py at 8:58 AM on June 15, 2013

Quite so, and more of it, b'gad!
posted by h00py at 9:00 AM on June 15, 2013

RITE MOAR
posted by tzikeh at 9:00 AM on June 15, 2013

Sandra regretted everything. Little did she know that she had just altered the course of history.
posted by h00py at 9:02 AM on June 15, 2013

The best-ever death-metal band out of Denton
Were a couple of guys who'd been friends since grade school.
One was named Cyrus, and the other was Jeff.
And they practiced twice a week in Jeff's bedroom.

The best-ever death-metal band out of Denton
Never settled on a name.
But the top three contenders, after weeks of debate,
Were Satan's Fingers, and The Killers, and The Hospital Bombers.

Jeff and Cyrus believed in their hearts they were headed
For stage lights and Learjets and fortune and fame.
So in script that made prominent use of a pentagram,
They stenciled their drumheads and guitars with their names.

This was how Cyrus got sent to the school
Where they told him he'd never be famous.
And this was why Jeff,
In the letters he'd write to his friend,
Helped develop a plan to get even.

When you punish a person for dreaming his dream,
Don't expect him to thank or forgive you.
The best-ever death-metal band out of Denton
Will in time both outpace and outlive you.

Hail Satan!
Hail Satan tonight!
Hail Satan!
Hail hail!
posted by tzikeh at 9:02 AM on June 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Unbelievably awesome, hail fucking Satan!
posted by h00py at 9:04 AM on June 15, 2013

Vini, vidi, vici
I feel kinda itchy
posted by h00py at 9:06 AM on June 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

We have cameras.
posted by tzikeh at 9:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Xeransis is a terrible thing.
posted by h00py at 9:08 AM on June 15, 2013

Yo, ruts!
posted by box at 9:09 AM on June 15, 2013

You know wot oi mean? No money man can win my love. It's sweetness that I'm dreaming of.
posted by h00py at 9:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Zzz. No, wake up! Yes, you.
posted by h00py at 9:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Anybody contacted twoleftfeet yet?
posted by tzikeh at 9:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Begging will not bring forth the OP. Only strict adherence to the alphabet and continuous bullshit will work.
posted by h00py at 9:15 AM on June 15, 2013

'Course, it's true that I'm just guessing. Maybe more, but maybe lessing. Let's all talk about hairdressing.
posted by h00py at 9:19 AM on June 15, 2013

Doris Lessing.
posted by box at 9:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Ew my gawd. How depressing.
posted by h00py at 9:22 AM on June 15, 2013

Fucking hell, stop repressing!
posted by h00py at 9:25 AM on June 15, 2013

Gotta keep it going. (Edited in flagrant misuse of the edit window because Jessamyn said we could go nuts, and "guessing" was used only a very few comments ago)
posted by tzikeh at 9:26 AM on June 15, 2013

Goran (with an umlaut) hefted his sword and slung his cat upon his back. The end of the thread was in sight. He would see this thing through to the end with full confessing.
posted by h00py at 9:27 AM on June 15, 2013

Hey, edit window abuse *in this thread* is accepted messing.
posted by h00py at 9:29 AM on June 15, 2013

I feel I should be convalescing.
posted by h00py at 9:31 AM on June 15, 2013

Just lie down for a bit. That should do the trick.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:32 AM on June 15, 2013

Kids these days don't know how good they have it, what with their tylenols and their bandages. I had to heal myself with a tire iron back in the day.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:33 AM on June 15, 2013

Let's have tire irons for everyone.
posted by asperity at 9:34 AM on June 15, 2013

Maybe my Irons for All plan will finally get a vote in the state congress!
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:35 AM on June 15, 2013

Not everyone likes to iron, you know. That's why polyester was invented.
posted by h00py at 9:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Open flames should be avoided when wearing polyester.
posted by asperity at 9:37 AM on June 15, 2013

Polyesterites will be first against the wall when the revolution comes.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Pongy armpits are also a drawback.
posted by h00py at 9:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Quite so. Smelly people with bad taste should always be the first to die.
posted by h00py at 9:39 AM on June 15, 2013

Right after them, the people who smell good and have better taste than I do.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Seriously, though, I would not survive the revolution, either.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:42 AM on June 15, 2013

Tell us, exactly how many polyester shirts do you own?
posted by h00py at 9:43 AM on June 15, 2013

To be clear now, irony was turned into polyestery??
posted by Namlit at 9:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Unconzievabel.
posted by Namlit at 9:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Verifying my existence in this thread.
posted by benito.strauss at 9:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Will make a checkmark.
posted by Namlit at 9:46 AM on June 15, 2013

We see you.
posted by h00py at 9:46 AM on June 15, 2013

Xurely not. I'm over here, camera off.
posted by Namlit at 9:47 AM on June 15, 2013

Ziramitu is tiramisu with a z
posted by Namlit at 9:48 AM on June 15, 2013

You are known throughout the land for your love of cheese and your oxtail soup.
posted by h00py at 9:48 AM on June 15, 2013

Ah. The Land. That's that funny blue sphere, right?
posted by Namlit at 9:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Behold the land of cheese and oxtail soup! (I like "behold")
posted by Namlit at 9:50 AM on June 15, 2013

Can I say I was typing the word 'behold' and had to delete it and write this instead and have you believe me? It's true, I swear.
posted by h00py at 9:52 AM on June 15, 2013

Doesn't matter, though. I'm more than happy to just keep babbling on, regardless of context.
posted by h00py at 9:54 AM on June 15, 2013

Edit window abuse FTW!
posted by klausness at 9:55 AM on June 15, 2013

Everyone thinks someone else has something to say.
posted by h00py at 9:56 AM on June 15, 2013

Fortunately the edit window makes everything good!
posted by h00py at 9:57 AM on June 15, 2013

Goran knew that Parstork wasn't prepared to take much more. Fortunately, Mungo was a jolly fellow and had prepared a lovely stew and any number of beverages. Vera hovered above them. Smeldicott waited.
posted by h00py at 10:02 AM on June 15, 2013

Hasselkvist's first name is Göran.
posted by klausness at 10:04 AM on June 15, 2013

I don't know how you could have left out that umlaut.
posted by klausness at 10:05 AM on June 15, 2013

I think it's a fine name and I only wish I knew how to do umlauts so I could do it justice. All hail Hasselkvist.
posted by h00py at 10:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Jolly is code for "fat," right?
posted by mokin at 10:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Just imagine my shame!
posted by h00py at 10:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Kopy and paste if you don't know how to do an umlaut.
posted by klausness at 10:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Kinda prefer 'stout', myself.
posted by h00py at 10:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Mac users can do option-u followed by U.
posted by klausness at 10:08 AM on June 15, 2013

Left out the "L" did we?
posted by notsnot at 10:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Not any more.
posted by h00py at 10:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Maybe fucked up the 'm', though.
posted by h00py at 10:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Oops, I ignored klausness. How rüde!
posted by h00py at 10:13 AM on June 15, 2013

Proper umlaut pronunciation is now within my grasp. I apologise for not having followed this up previously but I am very lazy.
posted by h00py at 10:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Quick html lesson for umlauts: type &LETTERuml; --where LETTER is the letter you want to have an umlaut. Example: ö gets you ö.
posted by tzikeh at 10:18 AM on June 15, 2013

Really, ö gets an o with two dots on top? That's excellent!
posted by h00py at 10:22 AM on June 15, 2013

Secrets of HTML: Next time on LONGBOAT.
posted by tzikeh at 10:24 AM on June 15, 2013

&sumlo, I have to remember this.
posted by h00py at 10:25 AM on June 15, 2013

Try again.
posted by tzikeh at 10:25 AM on June 15, 2013

That's so embarrassing.
posted by h00py at 10:25 AM on June 15, 2013

Understand that the ampersand comes just before the letter you want the umlaut on - "Sö" will get you "Sö." See?
posted by tzikeh at 10:27 AM on June 15, 2013

Verily, it is time for me to go to bed. Nighty night and thanks for letting me be a part of this. I've had a &fumlucking ball.
posted by h00py at 10:32 AM on June 15, 2013

Waaa. Please scroll off the page before the thread ends.
posted by h00py at 10:33 AM on June 15, 2013

X it out with the edit window!
posted by tzikeh at 10:34 AM on June 15, 2013

You know, fumlucking ball has a good ring to it.
posted by h00py at 10:35 AM on June 15, 2013

Zöran
posted by Namlit at 10:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Aaaaand here we go again!
posted by tzikeh at 10:36 AM on June 15, 2013

A thing that struck me is the Swedish alphabet which has äö and å at the end. three more letters!
posted by Namlit at 10:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Because, see, we could have had so many more options.
posted by Namlit at 10:37 AM on June 15, 2013

Certainly not everyone woulda understood what they wrote, but let's be serious now
posted by Namlit at 10:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Do people understand what they write in other cases?
posted by Namlit at 10:38 AM on June 15, 2013

Especially on metatalk...?
posted by Namlit at 10:39 AM on June 15, 2013

Finally.
posted by The Whelk at 10:40 AM on June 15, 2013

For I don't.
posted by Namlit at 10:40 AM on June 15, 2013

Grande Finale. Later I will go through this and re-read EVERYTHING and then i will distribute FAVORITES to give people community points and all that. Hahahaha.
posted by Namlit at 10:41 AM on June 15, 2013

Holy inanity, Jester!
posted by notsnot at 10:42 AM on June 15, 2013

I just see where the several MB of lulz come from.

.
posted by Namlit at 10:44 AM on June 15, 2013

Just saying. I have invested bits and parts of my life here. Lulz indeed. Heh.
posted by Namlit at 10:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Karamba. Hello??
posted by Namlit at 10:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Lunchtime!
posted by tzikeh at 10:50 AM on June 15, 2013

Lulz? Somebody point me to the lulz.
posted by asperity at 10:51 AM on June 15, 2013

Make your own lulz!
posted by tzikeh at 10:52 AM on June 15, 2013

Now we're talking. In fact Vindaloo is stewing. No lulz in it, innit?
posted by Namlit at 10:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Oh, edit window, you are the best.
posted by asperity at 10:53 AM on June 15, 2013

Perfect. An edit window and a Lulz come into a bar and...
posted by Namlit at 11:01 AM on June 15, 2013

.. quoted Shakespeare. "If we shadows have offended", they opined.
posted by h00py at 11:03 AM on June 15, 2013

(really can't get to sleep. very annoying)
posted by h00py at 11:04 AM on June 15, 2013

So been there...
posted by Namlit at 11:06 AM on June 15, 2013

Take my example and live in a different time zone. It works. It's now 8 pm here.
posted by Namlit at 11:07 AM on June 15, 2013

"Un, offended? I think you mean off ended.. Smelly bum joke, right?
posted by h00py at 11:07 AM on June 15, 2013

Uh. Not necessarily...
posted by Namlit at 11:09 AM on June 15, 2013

Very clevah.
posted by Namlit at 11:10 AM on June 15, 2013

Well, it's 4.12am here and I can't get to sleep. Admittedly, I haven't tried that hard.
posted by h00py at 11:12 AM on June 15, 2013

Xoink the sleeplessness with mint tea. I may have forgotten to say it before, it works. Otherwise it's Harry Potter and whisky all night through. That works also, in its own little way.
posted by Namlit at 11:14 AM on June 15, 2013

Zero remembrance. Is it like Gammalquil, but newer?
posted by Namlit at 11:20 AM on June 15, 2013

Zut alors, I 'av eard of zis thing.
posted by h00py at 11:21 AM on June 15, 2013

Apparently, Nyquil isn't a Swedish name. Oh well...
posted by Namlit at 11:23 AM on June 15, 2013

But Nyquil yodelled,"I'm Swiss, you twonk".
posted by h00py at 11:26 AM on June 15, 2013

Carl sipped his coffee. Outside, a bird shat on Franz's head. Life was not always easy.
posted by h00py at 11:32 AM on June 15, 2013

Donald ducked just in time.
posted by h00py at 11:34 AM on June 15, 2013

Elspeth expelled the snot from her nose in an explosive manner.
posted by h00py at 11:36 AM on June 15, 2013

Fess helped but she hated the sensation of it. Saline shit up her nose. "Fuck it, I'll just sneeze," she declared.
posted by h00py at 11:38 AM on June 15, 2013

"Gesundheit!", said Günther. He knew the pain of nasal congestion.
posted by h00py at 11:42 AM on June 15, 2013

His story started in 'Nam. He'd snorted that Agent Orange shit because ... well. War is hell, man. It fucked up his sinuses like nobody's business. He'd always blame Nixon.
posted by h00py at 11:45 AM on June 15, 2013

Indeed, Elspeth's nostrils ached. She was determined to press on, though. Outside, the winter dog howled.
posted by h00py at 11:49 AM on June 15, 2013

Just as everything started to appear to be moving forward, nothing happened. Elspeth sneezed again.
posted by h00py at 11:53 AM on June 15, 2013

"Kiss me", thought Günther.

"Where's my hanky?", moaned Elspeth.

Smeldicott lurked. He liked snot.
posted by h00py at 11:57 AM on June 15, 2013

*Looks for hanky*
posted by Cranberry at 12:00 PM on June 15, 2013

Like many other minor charactors, Smeldicott had a disgusting fetish. Nothing turned him on more than a discarded tissue. It just so happened that Elspeth was also disgusting and snotted in tissues and dropped them when they were full. It was only a matter of following the trail.
posted by h00py at 12:02 PM on June 15, 2013

Mmm, yes. The hanky was a ruse. One snort and it was over. Still, she always reached for it.
posted by h00py at 12:04 PM on June 15, 2013

Now, it came to pass that Elspeth finally became aware of Smeldicott, mostly because he always had interesting things to talk about in library to do with Terry Pratchett, and he always had a tissue handy.
posted by h00py at 12:11 PM on June 15, 2013

Ok, I'm finally visiting this thread. Fairly impressed, actually. It doesn't take THAT long to load.
posted by Melismata at 12:16 PM on June 15, 2013

Oh, it has to be said that Smeldicott was still a complete bastard though. Although he loved a girl with a snotty nose, he continued to be a hater of cats and a destroyer of peanut paste eaters. Little did he know that Elspeth was all those things.
posted by h00py at 12:17 PM on June 15, 2013

Perhaps you would like to add to this story, because I really must go to bed.
posted by h00py at 12:21 PM on June 15, 2013

Q*bert then showed up, an introduction that rather took Smeldicott off-guard.
posted by JHarris at 12:31 PM on June 15, 2013

I heard you can comment here and no mod will care!
posted by nostrada at 12:32 PM on June 15, 2013

Retching raspingly he reclined
posted by Namlit at 12:32 PM on June 15, 2013

I heard you can comment here and no mod will care!

Seriously, wait until you hear about how they secretly feel about it the rest of the time.
posted by jaduncan at 12:35 PM on June 15, 2013

Thank you
posted by nostrada at 12:36 PM on June 15, 2013

Unusual order, Q I R.
posted by snorkmaiden at 12:50 PM on June 15, 2013

Vanity, thats all it is, alas in vain.
posted by adamvasco at 12:53 PM on June 15, 2013

Why do I keep checking this thread? What is wrong with me?
posted by Area Man at 12:56 PM on June 15, 2013

Xokay guys the mods just asked me to come in here and say that the next three people who post in this thread will be deputized as regional mods for this thread only.
posted by 256 at 12:56 PM on June 15, 2013

We, the ladies and men of letternesse, observe our own rules. No mods necessary. And no "I" after "Q" allowed...

Now about Smeldicott... and Q*bert, as his cover name appeared to be.
posted by Namlit at 12:56 PM on June 15, 2013

Xere is no xuch xing as a deputized mod. And very few words left with an x.
posted by Namlit at 12:58 PM on June 15, 2013

Zank you, ze good use of ze edit windaloo.
posted by Namlit at 12:59 PM on June 15, 2013

Area Man, you're fine, I guess. Ive seen a good many perfectly fine people doing the exact same. For a whole MONTH now.
posted by Namlit at 1:00 PM on June 15, 2013

because it's there, Area Man.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:07 PM on June 15, 2013

This thread is like a pus-filled boil. One can't but help to poke at it.
posted by BlueHorse at 1:12 PM on June 15, 2013

Curiously, some entries hurt more than others when you poke.
posted by Namlit at 1:13 PM on June 15, 2013

can I please poke at the people who violate the "Alphabetical" principle of this thread just because it has become a record-setter? I have a nice sharp stick!
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:14 PM on June 15, 2013

Do, pray do. Use your shtick.
posted by Namlit at 1:14 PM on June 15, 2013

Eh, a record setter -- That a dog on a LP?
posted by Namlit at 1:16 PM on June 15, 2013

Fools: I pity them.
posted by asperity at 1:21 PM on June 15, 2013

Ghouls: I avoid them.
posted by Namlit at 1:26 PM on June 15, 2013

His Master's Voice, not rotating at 33 1/3 RPM
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:26 PM on June 15, 2013

Howls: are usually the result.
posted by Namlit at 1:27 PM on June 15, 2013

I see what you did there: you waited!
posted by Namlit at 1:27 PM on June 15, 2013

Jowls: some shake them.
posted by Namlit at 1:28 PM on June 15, 2013

Kewl.
posted by Melismata at 1:34 PM on June 15, 2013

Lemming. That's what I feel like.
posted by bunderful at 1:42 PM on June 15, 2013

Mexico. I was on my way to Mexico this morning. Got to the airport late and missed my flight. Then spent two hours on the phone before I could get another flight, but it's not until tomorrow.

The one bright spot in this whole miserable day is that I realized I could participate in the final hours of the alphabet game after all.

It's a record! Awesome you guys!
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:00 PM on June 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

No problem!
posted by jaduncan at 2:02 PM on June 15, 2013

Only problem is that I'm traveling with just a Chromebook, which doesn't handle long threads all that well. So I'm at a computer in my hotel which only has a crippled version of Internet Exploder.

This prevents me from pulling off a few mischievious stunts, but maybe I can workaround...
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:08 PM on June 15, 2013

Pull those stunts if you can, it's the thread to do it in.
posted by jaduncan at 2:13 PM on June 15, 2013

Possibly no Metafilter thread will ever hit 10,000 comments.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:13 PM on June 15, 2013

Quite likely you are right, twoleftfeet.
posted by Wordshore at 2:13 PM on June 15, 2013

Right ... but saying that, there's still an hour and a half to go.
posted by Wordshore at 2:15 PM on June 15, 2013

So anything is possible.
posted by Wordshore at 2:15 PM on June 15, 2013

That's the spirit!
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:16 PM on June 15, 2013

Unless ... taking the shortfall of 1,539 comments, one every 3.5 seconds from now to the end would get the thread to 10,000.
posted by Wordshore at 2:16 PM on June 15, 2013

Very unlikely ... but stranger things have happened at sea.
posted by Wordshore at 2:17 PM on June 15, 2013

Well, I have a new GreaseMonkey script that I wrote, and I was wondering how it would handle a mega-comment post ....
posted by benito.strauss at 2:18 PM on June 15, 2013

X really shouldn't be a letter at all, so infrequently is it used in natural language. It just slows things down.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:21 PM on June 15, 2013

You handled that well, better than I could.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:22 PM on June 15, 2013

Zamboney
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:23 PM on June 15, 2013

Aardvark
posted by notsnot at 2:30 PM on June 15, 2013

Awesome work, troops! I knew you could do it!
posted by dg at 2:31 PM on June 15, 2013

But h00py? Did you stay up all fucking night doing this?
posted by dg at 2:32 PM on June 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

'coz it would be awesome if you did.
posted by dg at 2:32 PM on June 15, 2013

Don't know if it's very good for your health, but sacrifices must be made in such lofty endeavours sometimes.
posted by dg at 2:33 PM on June 15, 2013

Eh, sacrifices schmacrifices.
posted by notsnot at 2:34 PM on June 15, 2013

For sure, I realised what that duplicate comment bug was about just as I left the thread last night. Could have saved a MeTa if I'd come back and pointed it out.
posted by dg at 2:36 PM on June 15, 2013

Get Loki? Yep.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:38 PM on June 15, 2013

have less than an hour less, we do
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:38 PM on June 15, 2013

it's true, Yodaspeak makes Alphabet Threading easier...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:39 PM on June 15, 2013

Joda, yoda, it's all czech to me!
posted by notsnot at 2:40 PM on June 15, 2013

Killer bees!
posted by ipsative at 2:43 PM on June 15, 2013

Logic. (Sorry, Spock)
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:44 PM on June 15, 2013

Multiple comments within seconds is possible. Open multiple tabs, put your comments in the post boxes in each of those tabs, then fire them off one by one.

Can't do it with this Chromebook though, since it reloads when I focus on a tab. Stupid hotel browser won't even let me open multiple tabs, so it's a no-go there too.

Anybody else want to try?
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:44 PM on June 15, 2013

Lime-flavored killer bees!
posted by JHarris at 2:44 PM on June 15, 2013

(Making up for having totally missed this thread until now.)
posted by notsnot at 2:45 PM on June 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Not really helpful, though, twoleftfeet - you still have to type them all and I don't see how it would be any faster, really.
posted by dg at 2:47 PM on June 15, 2013

Oh, I see this is the experimental thread. Nice!
posted by ipsative at 2:47 PM on June 15, 2013

Or, if you're using Chrome for iOS, absolutely fucking frustrating because of that stupid 're-load the page every time you return to the tab' thing it does.
posted by dg at 2:48 PM on June 15, 2013

One hour to go. Who gets the last word?
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:48 PM on June 15, 2013

Probably not me.
posted by ipsative at 2:49 PM on June 15, 2013

Piper at the gates of dawn, the
posted by dg at 2:49 PM on June 15, 2013

Quite possibly the length of the thread is causing some doubles...
posted by Kinbote at 2:51 PM on June 15, 2013

Remember A Day
posted by dg at 2:51 PM on June 15, 2013

Scream Thy Last Scream
posted by dg at 2:51 PM on June 15, 2013

Take Up Thy Stethescope And Walk
posted by dg at 2:52 PM on June 15, 2013

Us And Them
posted by dg at 2:52 PM on June 15, 2013

Vera
posted by dg at 2:53 PM on June 15, 2013

Wang
posted by ipsative at 2:53 PM on June 15, 2013

Warning: This Christmas, do NOT buy any man in your life a bow tie. With Matt Smith leaving Doctor Who, they will officially no longer be cool and will return to being totally geeky.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:53 PM on June 15, 2013

Wot's...Uh The Deal?
posted by dg at 2:53 PM on June 15, 2013

Run!
posted by box at 2:53 PM on June 15, 2013

Run!!
posted by box at 2:53 PM on June 15, 2013

Run!!!
posted by box at 2:53 PM on June 15, 2013

X - I got nothin'
posted by dg at 2:54 PM on June 15, 2013

Xcape is not possible.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:54 PM on June 15, 2013

Zombie attack, for sure.
posted by ipsative at 2:55 PM on June 15, 2013

Young Lust
posted by dg at 2:55 PM on June 15, 2013

Again...
posted by ipsative at 2:56 PM on June 15, 2013

A Great Day for Freedom
posted by dg at 2:56 PM on June 15, 2013

Breathe
posted by dg at 2:56 PM on June 15, 2013

Echoes
posted by dg at 2:57 PM on June 15, 2013

Fat Old Sun
posted by dg at 2:57 PM on June 15, 2013

Chimes
posted by ipsative at 2:57 PM on June 15, 2013

Goodbye Cruel World
posted by box at 2:57 PM on June 15, 2013

Grantchester Meadows
posted by dg at 2:58 PM on June 15, 2013

Have A Cigar
posted by dg at 2:58 PM on June 15, 2013

Guount you come
posted by ipsative at 2:58 PM on June 15, 2013

Is There Anybody Out There?
posted by dg at 2:58 PM on June 15, 2013

Julia Dream
posted by dg at 2:59 PM on June 15, 2013

Keep Talking
posted by dg at 2:59 PM on June 15, 2013

Lost For Words
posted by dg at 3:00 PM on June 15, 2013

Kings of the Mountain
posted by ipsative at 3:00 PM on June 15, 2013

Mother
posted by dg at 3:00 PM on June 15, 2013

Money
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:00 PM on June 15, 2013

my my my...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:00 PM on June 15, 2013

Money
posted by box at 3:00 PM on June 15, 2013

Not Now John
posted by dg at 3:00 PM on June 15, 2013

now now now...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:01 PM on June 15, 2013

Outside The Wall
posted by dg at 3:01 PM on June 15, 2013

Pigs (Three Different Ones)
posted by dg at 3:01 PM on June 15, 2013

Piper at the Gates of Dawn
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:02 PM on June 15, 2013

Q is a letter not contained in the title of any Pink Floyd song
posted by dg at 3:02 PM on June 15, 2013

quack quack quack...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:02 PM on June 15, 2013

Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun
posted by box at 3:03 PM on June 15, 2013

Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun!
posted by box at 3:03 PM on June 15, 2013

Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun!!
posted by box at 3:03 PM on June 15, 2013

Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun
posted by dg at 3:03 PM on June 15, 2013

The Nile Song
posted by dg at 3:03 PM on June 15, 2013

Um, I think I should probably stop now.
posted by dg at 3:04 PM on June 15, 2013

Verily, when you have the ability to edit your last four comments, maybe you have to consider you have a problem.
posted by dg at 3:07 PM on June 15, 2013

What Shall We Do Now?
posted by box at 3:07 PM on June 15, 2013

What Shall We Do Now??
posted by box at 3:07 PM on June 15, 2013

What Shall We Do Now???
posted by box at 3:07 PM on June 15, 2013

Welcome to the Machine
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:08 PM on June 15, 2013

What if I tried to see how many comments I can fit in within the edit window? Would that be wrong?
posted by dg at 3:08 PM on June 15, 2013

Xcept I need to duck out for a short time. Hopefully be back to be in at the death.
posted by dg at 3:09 PM on June 15, 2013

Yes, the competition to get the last comment in before 3:47PM PDT is probably going to DDOS MetaFilter for about three minutes...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:09 PM on June 15, 2013

Zamboni should not be the last word. Or should it?
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:10 PM on June 15, 2013

Already I'm thinking about the last word, though it is over 30 minutes away.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:13 PM on June 15, 2013

Better to pre-plan...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:15 PM on June 15, 2013

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
posted by box at 3:15 PM on June 15, 2013

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
posted by box at 3:15 PM on June 15, 2013

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
posted by box at 3:15 PM on June 15, 2013

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
posted by box at 3:15 PM on June 15, 2013

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
posted by box at 3:15 PM on June 15, 2013

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
posted by box at 3:15 PM on June 15, 2013

The best lack all conviction, while the worst
posted by box at 3:16 PM on June 15, 2013

Are full of passionate intensity.
posted by box at 3:16 PM on June 15, 2013

Can't anyone stick to the main topic, which involves some post made to the Blue a month ago?

This thread has gone seriously off-topic. For shame.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:16 PM on June 15, 2013

cool it, box, or get Alphabetical!!!
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:16 PM on June 15, 2013

Come on guys. Some order!
posted by Namlit at 3:16 PM on June 15, 2013

Don't slack.
posted by Namlit at 3:17 PM on June 15, 2013

en
posted by Namlit at 3:17 PM on June 15, 2013

Enzo on 'Reboot' had the catchphrase "Alphanumeric!"
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:17 PM on June 15, 2013

Find some Final energy
posted by Namlit at 3:18 PM on June 15, 2013

Formal discipline as we go down with the ship!
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:18 PM on June 15, 2013

Grandness our reward, before the abyss opens.
posted by Namlit at 3:18 PM on June 15, 2013

I am totally discombobulated (my favorite weird word that is accepted by spellcheck)
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:19 PM on June 15, 2013

Have I heard ship? Down? White havens waiting, buddy.
posted by Namlit at 3:19 PM on June 15, 2013

Heaven will bless us when we enter it.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:19 PM on June 15, 2013

huh, too early
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:20 PM on June 15, 2013

Just the word to break your spellchekcer
posted by Namlit at 3:20 PM on June 15, 2013

Krang. There broke the spleleckckrr
posted by Namlit at 3:21 PM on June 15, 2013

lyrics got jumbled...
posted by Namlit at 3:21 PM on June 15, 2013

maybe a flurry of references to "Reboot" or other semi-obscure cartoons would be a cool way to end this thing.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:22 PM on June 15, 2013

mean sentences niceified
posted by Namlit at 3:22 PM on June 15, 2013

nice sentences meanorized...
posted by Namlit at 3:22 PM on June 15, 2013

Olive
posted by box at 3:22 PM on June 15, 2013

Petunia
posted by box at 3:22 PM on June 15, 2013

Quince
posted by box at 3:22 PM on June 15, 2013

now I have to stake out the next occurance of F to say "Fooly Cooly!"
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:22 PM on June 15, 2013

Raspberry
posted by box at 3:23 PM on June 15, 2013

Strawberry
posted by box at 3:23 PM on June 15, 2013

on occasion of the broken spellckecher
posted by Namlit at 3:23 PM on June 15, 2013

Tangerine
posted by box at 3:23 PM on June 15, 2013

Under 24 minutes to go...
posted by Wordshore at 3:23 PM on June 15, 2013

Posting likely the last one on this thread. Bedtime guys. It has been a lovely time. Seeya in anotha world.
posted by Namlit at 3:23 PM on June 15, 2013

Very well; good night, Namlit.
posted by Wordshore at 3:24 PM on June 15, 2013

Querulince. That's it.
posted by Namlit at 3:24 PM on June 15, 2013

Very sweet dreams, Namlit... this nightmare is almost over
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:24 PM on June 15, 2013

We've only just begun.
posted by box at 3:26 PM on June 15, 2013

With 1205 comments, Namlit has run out of something to say.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:26 PM on June 15, 2013

Xactly.
posted by Wordshore at 3:27 PM on June 15, 2013

Yes.
posted by box at 3:28 PM on June 15, 2013

yes, how do I see how many comments I've made in this thread, and WHY WOULD I WANT TO?
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:28 PM on June 15, 2013

Zowie, that took a long time to get through!
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:28 PM on June 15, 2013

Zero or more, find out by doing a "Find" on your username.
posted by Wordshore at 3:29 PM on June 15, 2013

zippity bop!
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:29 PM on June 15, 2013

Abacus, that's what I'd use.
posted by box at 3:29 PM on June 15, 2013

About 1063, foop.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:29 PM on June 15, 2013

Blimey; we start again. Can't be many more laps of the alphabet left in this...
posted by Wordshore at 3:30 PM on June 15, 2013

Barometer, then.
posted by box at 3:30 PM on June 15, 2013

Can I get in on this, even if I'm late to the party?
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:30 PM on June 15, 2013

do it, ApathyGirl, but you may lose the meaning in your username
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:31 PM on June 15, 2013

Egg timer, maybe.
posted by box at 3:32 PM on June 15, 2013

fifteen minutes...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:32 PM on June 15, 2013

Far enough hesitation, folks; it's the last 15 minutes. Let's take this thread to Alpha Centauri!
posted by Wordshore at 3:32 PM on June 15, 2013

Go!
posted by box at 3:33 PM on June 15, 2013

how many comments have YOU made here, twoleftfeet?
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:33 PM on June 15, 2013

How do we play, am I doing this right?
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:33 PM on June 15, 2013

Indibutably.
posted by box at 3:33 PM on June 15, 2013

I think it's around 930.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:34 PM on June 15, 2013

Jasmine, I detect the smell of it on the air.
posted by box at 3:34 PM on June 15, 2013

Kebab, I detect the smell of it.
posted by Wordshore at 3:36 PM on June 15, 2013

Let's play Boggle next!
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:36 PM on June 15, 2013

Lavender.
posted by box at 3:36 PM on June 15, 2013

Lilac and lavender, next in the theme.
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:36 PM on June 15, 2013

Marigolds.
posted by box at 3:37 PM on June 15, 2013

Must stop meeting like this.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:38 PM on June 15, 2013

Nasturtiums.
posted by box at 3:39 PM on June 15, 2013

Now I'm just starting to get the hang of this.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:39 PM on June 15, 2013

once this is over with, we can do it all again in the Nonviolent Communication thread, right?

just testing to see if any mods really are watching... listening for screams...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:39 PM on June 15, 2013

OontzOontzOontzOontzOontzOontzOontzOontz
posted by ApathyGirl at 3:39 PM on June 15, 2013

Petunia.
posted by box at 3:40 PM on June 15, 2013

Potato potato
posted by Wordshore at 3:40 PM on June 15, 2013

Posters who want to know how many comments they made can install the Greasemonkey script Mefi Navigator.
posted by various at 3:41 PM on June 15, 2013

quitting time soon...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:43 PM on June 15, 2013

quilting time soon...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:43 PM on June 15, 2013

Real soon.
posted by box at 3:43 PM on June 15, 2013

Really close to it, yes.
posted by Wordshore at 3:43 PM on June 15, 2013

Soooooo close...
posted by Wordshore at 3:44 PM on June 15, 2013

So close you can smell it
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:44 PM on June 15, 2013

Truly close.
posted by box at 3:44 PM on June 15, 2013

time to PANIC!
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:44 PM on June 15, 2013

Too late?
posted by maggieb at 3:44 PM on June 15, 2013

Unreal-ly close, now.
posted by Wordshore at 3:45 PM on June 15, 2013

Very close.
posted by box at 3:45 PM on June 15, 2013

Um, does anyone read the posts down here?
posted by dg at 3:45 PM on June 15, 2013

wendell, this will
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:45 PM on June 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Wicked close.
posted by box at 3:45 PM on June 15, 2013

Xtremely close.
posted by Wordshore at 3:45 PM on June 15, 2013

Well, two minutes left by my counting.
posted by dg at 3:46 PM on June 15, 2013

Yes, getting closer by the second.
posted by dg at 3:46 PM on June 15, 2013

X marks the spot.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:46 PM on June 15, 2013

Yes, so close.
posted by Wordshore at 3:46 PM on June 15, 2013

ZAMBONI and out...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:46 PM on June 15, 2013

Zebedee waits in the wings.
posted by Wordshore at 3:46 PM on June 15, 2013

And the last loop?
posted by Wordshore at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2013

Z could well be the very last letter.
posted by dg at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2013

But a few seconds more?
posted by Wordshore at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2013

Comment time left?
posted by Wordshore at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2013

Do not pass go.
posted by Wordshore at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2013

Elephants wait in the wings.
posted by Wordshore at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2013

Dang! Zoom! Zip! Zowie! Zounds! Zut alors!
posted by box at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2013

Forever this thread seems to be.
posted by Wordshore at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2013

But, it might be B
posted by dg at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2013

Great fun it's been, though.
posted by Wordshore at 3:47 PM on June 15, 2013 [20 favorites]

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