Arrogance as jealousy

March 20, 2013 4:41 AM

Some time back, I read a comment (I think on AskMefi) about how if you were jealous of someone else's success, it was because you were arrogant enough to think you deserved that success. In essence, be humble. I've tried to find that comment again with a combination of 'jealous' and 'arrogant' (and combinations thereof) but it doesn't seem to work; help is appreciated!
posted by titantoppler to MetaFilter-Related at 4:41 AM (8 comments total)

Have you searched ask.metafilter.com for those terms via Google?
posted by dfriedman at 7:33 AM on March 20, 2013

"Some time?"

Can you be more specific? A year ago? Five years ago?
posted by carsonb at 8:43 AM on March 20, 2013

My memory's vaguely offering up this thread about someone being uncomfortable with their boyfriend being a hero. There's some speculation as to jealousy, but not so much any arrogance angle.
posted by Drastic at 9:14 AM on March 20, 2013

In the short time I spent searching before asking about a narrower time frame, I turned up a handful of AskMe questions along the lines of 'My friend/spouse/kin is successful and I'd like to know how to handle these feelings of jealousy gracefully.'

Enough-about-me-what-about-you
Begone-GreenEyed-Fiend
How-can-a-person-be-TOO-awesome-Ask-my-boyfriend (Eerily similar to Drastic's thread.)
My-friends-are-wealthy-I-am-not-Why-do-I-feel-ashamed-and-inadequate
etc.

Those are all questions asked since titantoppler joined. Google search of ask.metafilter.com for friends + success + jealousy turned up about 500 results.
posted by carsonb at 9:24 AM on March 20, 2013

Maybe Can you resent someone without thinking they don't deserve what they have?
posted by payoto at 9:49 AM on March 20, 2013

I've tried to find that comment again with a combination of 'jealous' and 'arrogant'

Jarrogant? Arrogous?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:20 PM on March 20, 2013

Probably absolutely not helpful but this is an answer Sugar gives in one of her advice columns.

From the column: "The most fascinating thing to me about your letter is that buried beneath all the anxiety and sorrow and fear and self-loathing, there’s arrogance at its core. It presumes you should be successful at 26, when really it takes most writers so much longer to get there. It laments that you’ll never be as good as David Foster Wallace—a genius, a master of the craft—while at the same time describing how little you write. You loathe yourself, and yet you’re consumed by the grandiose ideas you have about your own importance. You’re up too high and down too low. Neither is the place where we get any work done."
posted by morganannie at 8:33 AM on March 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Unfortunately none of what you all have so kindly suggested jogs my memory, but morganannie's Dear Sugar quote probably expresses that sentiment the best.

Thanks for all the help anyway!
posted by titantoppler at 8:05 PM on March 21, 2013