Nopes?

March 14, 2013 9:57 PM

Just wondering? Was there any sort of mod agreement, or mutual whatever that just didn't want a piece of the Pope? I would have thought the Blue would have gone nuts, and if they didn't, bless that restraint. Just seemed way too serene.
posted by timsteil to MetaFilter-Related at 9:57 PM (56 comments total)

You may have missed it?
posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:00 PM on March 14, 2013

Nope, nothing really more than weird timing on the existing pope thread just as the week began. People kept discussion going there and didn't really need to post new posts (we didn't delete a single thing about the selected pope after the fact).
posted by mathowie (staff) at 10:00 PM on March 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Everyone was hanging out at the Conclave thread. Sorry you didn't get an invite. We gave them to everyone in home room. You must have been out that day.
posted by m@f at 10:02 PM on March 14, 2013 [4 favorites]

Okey Doke.

Close it up.



What? You're still here?






Go home!
posted by timsteil at 10:42 PM on March 14, 2013

Isn't there supposed to be a puff of blue smoke when you choose your one new Pope thread for the next five years or so?
posted by klangklangston at 10:54 PM on March 14, 2013 [13 favorites]

The Conclave should totally be the main antagonist in Fallout 4.
posted by dunkadunc at 11:57 PM on March 14, 2013 [6 favorites]

Isn't there supposed to be a puff of blue smoke when you choose your one new Pope thread for the next five years or so?

That's not professional.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:07 AM on March 15, 2013 [4 favorites]

The word 'conclave' reminds me of Starcraft.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:20 AM on March 15, 2013

I was about to make this same post. I even checked the Deleted Thread Blog. But I guess the shifting lineup of a Shane McGowan side project isn't front page news.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 12:26 AM on March 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

timsteil - did you look in the Popeular posts tab at the top?
posted by MuffinMan at 4:15 AM on March 15, 2013 [5 favorites]

We would have told you about the thread, but once we were in Conclave, Matt took our phones away.

I've said too much already.
posted by arcticseal at 4:20 AM on March 15, 2013 [6 favorites]

I've gotta say, the thread on the Conclave is a great example of what Metafilter does well -- lots of well-informed people patiently explaining what's going on and why -- and a relative minimum of shouty fighting, considering this is a topic that's lent itself well to shouty fighting for close to a couple mllennia.
posted by ardgedee at 4:52 AM on March 15, 2013 [5 favorites]

Also, Blasdelb is killing with the Jesuit jokes.
posted by ardgedee at 4:57 AM on March 15, 2013 [17 favorites]

considering this is a topic that's lent itself well to shouty fighting for close to a couple mllennia.

Lent itself. Heh.
posted by Pax at 5:21 AM on March 15, 2013 [10 favorites]

Now I want to open up a sock account with the name "Vobiscum" just so I can make an appropriately pithy comment after that last one.
posted by Curious Artificer at 5:57 AM on March 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

A Modclave would have the best ties.
posted by The Whelk at 6:00 AM on March 15, 2013

MORE LIKE CONVLEX AMIRITE
posted by Sys Rq at 6:08 AM on March 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

considering this is a topic that's lent itself well to shouty fighting for close to a couple mllennia.
who can forget that thread about babylonian captivity? Three excommunications and a flame-out. A literal flame, sulfur and brimstone-out.
posted by shothotbot at 6:32 AM on March 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

Plus there was this active Pope thread.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:38 AM on March 15, 2013

Yes, yes, the pope. I don't know if you heard, but Google Reader is shutting down!
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 6:57 AM on March 15, 2013 [5 favorites]

administrator!!! please pope me!
posted by comealongpole at 7:08 AM on March 15, 2013 [6 favorites]

HELL IS OTHER PAPAL
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:20 AM on March 15, 2013 [35 favorites]

What is the Pope going to do about Google Reader shutting down?! Is he going to do a Kickstarter or something?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:24 AM on March 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

The word 'conclave' reminds me of Starcraft.

Executor, by following Tassadar and attempting to rescue the Dark Templar, you have openly defied the will of the Conclave. Abandon this mad scheme.
posted by ersatz at 7:25 AM on March 15, 2013

Brandon Blatcher: "What is the Pope going to do about Google Reader shutting down?! Is he going to do a Kickstarter or something?"

WELCOME TO OBAMA'S AMERICA
posted by Chrysostom at 7:32 AM on March 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

I was praying. I hear that's effective for all sorts of things.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:34 AM on March 15, 2013 [8 favorites]

HELL IS OTHER PAPAL
posted by cortex

FTFW!
posted by timsteil at 7:35 AM on March 15, 2013

Was there any sort of mod agreement, or mutual whatever that just didn't want a piece of the Pope?

Asked to comment, the Holy Father replied ...
posted by octobersurprise at 7:38 AM on March 15, 2013

And yeah, I was as surprised as anybody that we didn't end up with a semi-comprehensive followup NEW POPE FACTS thread that afternoon, let alone a couple of deleteable quickdraw newswire stinkers. I'm going to assume everybody was just distracted by my amazing pope jokes on twitter.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:43 AM on March 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

No pope, radio.
posted by backseatpilot at 7:54 AM on March 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

pope soap on a rope
posted by jenkinsEar at 8:12 AM on March 15, 2013

I no longer follow the goings-on at the Vatican - I've given up pope.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:35 AM on March 15, 2013

Isn't there supposed to be a puff of blue smoke when you choose your one new Pope thread for the next five years or so?

If someone promises to remind me, I promise to make this happen.

(not make a next new pope thread, but make blue smoke next time there's a new pope)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:49 AM on March 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Sys Rq: "MORE LIKE CONVLEX AMIRITE"

yo man you got asperges

(pun level: semi-devout Cathoic)
posted by boo_radley at 8:49 AM on March 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Huh, I assumed Francis I had arranged for the thread to be disappeared.
posted by jamjam at 9:13 AM on March 15, 2013

Mod note: Comment removed, I know shower rape jokes are hilarious and all but come on already.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:14 AM on March 15, 2013 [6 favorites]

klangklangston: "Isn't there supposed to be a puff of blue smoke when you choose your one new Pope thread for the next five years or so?"

Blue smoke is when Matt names a new mod.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:19 AM on March 15, 2013

Well, I think we can all agree that the Vatican controls Bartertown Metafilter.

*shakes fist towards Rome*

Actually, it's not worth repeating what is what I wrote in my comment referencing the deleted comment, which I thought was nice and all, but I will say that I am actually shocked at how many people are interested in the new pope.

Not just here, but in real life.

I suppose I (we?) forget this kind if stuff in the everyday. Turns out half the people I work with are Catholic or were educated such.
posted by Mezentian at 9:21 AM on March 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Chrysostom: "Blue smoke is when Matt names a new mod."

"habemus moderatorem!" ~ waves hands ~
posted by boo_radley at 9:33 AM on March 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Jes U It.
     ✔
posted by Kabanos at 9:36 AM on March 15, 2013 [10 favorites]

The Non-Specific Sportshoe Brand swoosh?
WITCHCRAFT!
posted by Mezentian at 9:39 AM on March 15, 2013

Habemas Papadam!
posted by infini at 12:32 PM on March 15, 2013

"Also, Blasdelb is killing with the Jesuit jokes."

My favorites are the lightbulb jokes but they'd be a bit off topic,

How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Jesuits: None. Candles only.
Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Southern Baptists: How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb? 109. Seven on the Light Bulb Task Force Sub-committee, who report to the 12 on the Light Bulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Trustee Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Executive Committee of 5, who place it on the agenda of the 18 member Finance Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27 Member church Board, who appoint another 12 member review committee. If they recommend that the Church Board proceed, a resolution is brought to the Congregational Business Meeting. They appoint another 8 member review committee. If their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports the changing of a light bulb, and the Congregation votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the light bulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn appoint a 7-member committee to find the best price in new light bulbs. Their recommendation of which hardware is the best buy must then be reviewed by the 23 member Ethics Committee to make certain that this hardware store has no connection to Disneyland. They report back to the Trustee Board who then commissions the Trustee in charge of the Janitor to ask him to make the change. By then the janitor discovers that one more light bulb has burned out.
Independent Baptists: Only one, anymore than that would be considered ecumenical.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish. [DISCLAIMER: Am Methodist]
Unitarians: This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted--all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."
Liberals: 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.
Neo-Orthodox: No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.
Brethren: CHANGE???
Conservative Anglicans: Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person changing it is a woman!
Evangelicals: Do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and hope the light bulb will decide to change itself.
Quakers: Ten to sit around in a circle until one feels the inner light.
Fundamentalists: THE BIBLE DOES *NOT* SAY *ANYTHING* ABOUT LIGHT BULBS!!!!
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Jehovah's Witnesses: Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you've seen the light!

posted by Blasdelb at 1:17 PM on March 15, 2013 [15 favorites]

Shit, forgot the

Mormons: Six to go around to members' houses to see if they can borrow a light bulb, one to call the zone leaders to see if they have permission to change the light bulb, and one to stand on the ladder and actually change the bulb (and this will always be the greenest Elder).

posted by Blasdelb at 1:35 PM on March 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

Unitarians: This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted--all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."

I call BS. Unitarians would have it decided at a committee meeting most of the congregation didn't have time to attend.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:42 PM on March 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

meanwhile, back at castel gandolfo....
posted by clavdivs at 2:29 PM on March 15, 2013

When I heard about the new pope, I had made a snarky comment about how everyone was going to be using the "Lighten up Francis" line from Stripes, only to find out that the thread had beat me to the punch by a full hour.

Even when I think I'm being clever, I'm still behind most of you bastards here.
posted by quin at 2:52 PM on March 15, 2013

We were all too busy being outraged about Google Reader's demise.
posted by asnider at 4:20 PM on March 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

If the pope took the name of his own order's founder, St. Ignatius, then he'd be Iggy Pope.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:06 PM on March 15, 2013 [7 favorites]

We were all too busy being outraged about Google Reader's demise.

Coincidence?
posted by homunculus at 6:21 PM on March 15, 2013

There's a new pope?
posted by cjorgensen at 6:25 PM on March 15, 2013

The Conclave should totally be the main antagonist in Fallout 4.
:Desperately tries to find a way to work a character named "Con Claven" into the thread; wit, or perhaps in this case, valor, fails her:
posted by smirkette at 7:49 PM on March 15, 2013

Blasdelb, I'll add one to your list:

Greek Orthodox: 305. One to change the bulb, one to paint the icon of the old bulb, one to chant the liturgy of the changing of the bulb, one to swing the censer, one to ring the bell, and 300 to march in the burial procession of the late bulb.
posted by taz (staff) at 2:01 AM on March 16, 2013 [4 favorites]

Blasdelb -

That only works for the the ~.4% of us currently on missions. For all the other Mormons, may I humbly suggest either 2,147 or 2,148:

• 1 person to not be able to change the lightbulb; if female, she must also 1) realize she can't change the lighbulb, 2) go through a substantial amount of soul-searching about that fact, and 3) start baking cookies for whoever will change it for her, while 4) making the phone call to 1 of her home teachers.
• If the first person was male, 1 female person, to 1) insist the lighbulb must be changed, 2) realize she can't change the lighbulb, 3) go through a substantial amount of soul-searching about that fact, 4) start baking cookies for whoever will change it for her, while 5) making the phone call to her home teacher.
• 1 wife of the home teacher, to answer the phone and explain that it will be at least three days before the home teacher and/or his 1 companion can show up to change the lighbulb, owing to the fact that 1 additional home teacher's wife is giving birth tomorrow, 1 home teacher's child has a parent/teacher conference night, and 8 other members of the ward are already scheduled for acts of service and support from these two home teachers. However, this wife will also promise that she will make sure the light bulb gets changed, and immediately calls the 1 ward compassionate service leader.
• 73 women to read the email message from the ward compassionate service leader and to then ask 56 husbands, 33 teenage children, and 37 other people who don't have email, if any of them can do it ASAP. They will also all sign up to provide meals to the new mom while they're waiting for replies on this issue, and will start baking casseroles and muffins and locating the gently-used infant clothing their own children no longer need (the ward compassionate service leader reminded them of this need in her email.)
• 116 other people to receive the message through various means but respond in some way that clearly indicates they can't do anything; the vast majority of the previous 199 recipients also can't help. But 14 individuals are able to pencil it in for after dinner tonight. These messages trickle slowly back to the woman who needs the lighbulb changed, the home teacher's wife, the home teacher directly, the compassionate service leader, her husband, and all the children of the same (because no one is really quite sure who started this request.)
• 1 Young Women leader to, in her exhaustion, have scheduled today as a "Love Bomb" service day, sending 18 girls between 12 and 18 out into the neighborhood to do nice things for people. Two of these girls will visit the household in question, change the lighbulb, and refuse the cookies because they are in fact delivering their own cookies.
• 2 hungry missionaries to accept the surfeit of cookies at the home where the lighbulb was changed.
• 1 bishop to finally hear this story two weeks later at a leadership meeting.
• 1 stake president to start turning this, "The Parable of the Lightbulb," into a heartwarming story for his next conference talk, but eventually abandon it in favor of the shorter and more meaningful "Allegory of the Snow Blower."
• 16 people, not otherwise involved, to turn this into blog posts, and 1 person to turn a blog post into a Salt Lake Tribune article.
• 435 people to comment on blog posts/the article in a positive tone, 375 to offer comments such as "what exactly would have been wrong with waiting for 3 days" and "I wish women in the church would feel confident in calling a handyman service instead of demanding so much from their home teachers," and 957 people to either read (or not bother with) the article and then offer nasty off-topic anti-Mormon comments on the Tribune website.
• 1 grad student at the University of Utah to turn the entire thing into her Mormon Studies dissertation.

(Note: chances are at least five people will show up at the house to change the lightbulb after it's fixed, and at least twenty people will ask at church next Sunday if the lightbulb - or anything else - needs doing. The "this doesn't need doing anymore" message will go out by email at least four times; it may be announced in Sacrament meeting, Relief Society, etc., depending on how many people are still trying to change the lightbulb.)
posted by SMPA at 11:17 AM on March 16, 2013 [5 favorites]

And, dunkadunc:

Amen. My dad and his whole family are UU, and most of the adults I knew as a child were the ones who were always getting drafted onto those committees. I did a lot of service projects, and sat outside a lot of meetings reading a book, because my dad and stepmom and grandma were on all the committees and thus signed up for everything first.

I can't help but have noticed that Spanish Civil War veterans, people who were blacklisted in the 1950s, and folks who helped decide who their local delegate to the Democratic National Convention would be were always, always, always on those committees. I suspect it may be genetic, or something, because their kids and spouses and grandkids were all on the committees, too. Grandpa died in 1983 and my dad was still on the roof-replacement committee, with the kids of other vets/etc., years later.
posted by SMPA at 11:23 AM on March 16, 2013 [1 favorite]

Exclusions:

Any number of MeFites can screw in a light bulb, but they have to consenting adults, and fairly limber.

I hope you guys like your new Pope. Please give him my regards.
posted by mule98J at 9:15 AM on March 17, 2013