in a jam December 28, 2012 8:02 PM Subscribe
Herein is pretty much the best (necessary) thread hijack ever.
1. tulips
2. Mefite stuck in elevator
3. ???
4. tulips!
1. tulips
2. Mefite stuck in elevator
3. ???
4. tulips!
So did the follow-up mean that someone did call the school and got the guard, but through confusion got forwarded to his voicemail? I mean, it sounds like we almost helped.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:12 PM on December 28, 2012 [8 favorites]
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:12 PM on December 28, 2012 [8 favorites]
It sounds like his wife and kids were concerned about his absence and went to seek him out of their own accord. I think?
posted by threeants at 8:19 PM on December 28, 2012
posted by threeants at 8:19 PM on December 28, 2012
Well, we can console ourselves that we did get that one user out of their locked apartment.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 8:23 PM on December 28, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 8:23 PM on December 28, 2012 [5 favorites]
Oh yeah, and saved those two young women from becoming sex slaves.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 8:24 PM on December 28, 2012 [13 favorites]
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 8:24 PM on December 28, 2012 [13 favorites]
I like how when he turned up in the thread safe at at home, people just gave him a favourite and carried on talking about Dutch things.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 8:26 PM on December 28, 2012 [40 favorites]
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 8:26 PM on December 28, 2012 [40 favorites]
Too bad we never found that guy a used car.
posted by ODiV at 8:26 PM on December 28, 2012 [8 favorites]
posted by ODiV at 8:26 PM on December 28, 2012 [8 favorites]
And stopped hundreds, perhaps thousands of people from eating that.
posted by axiom at 8:27 PM on December 28, 2012 [40 favorites]
posted by axiom at 8:27 PM on December 28, 2012 [40 favorites]
I managed to get through to the school and a guy who said he didn't speak very much English. I said "[MeFite's Real Name] is stuck in an elevator in the research building!" and he sort of mumbled something, repeated the name, told me to hold on, then I heard a small child say "Ola!" in the background, then he told her the name, which she repeated, then the phone went quiet, then the phone rang and rang as if he was transferring my call but no one ever answered. Eventually I hung up. I couldn't get through to the wife, unfortunately.
posted by chococat at 8:37 PM on December 28, 2012
posted by chococat at 8:37 PM on December 28, 2012
I was reading the thread, came to the derail, saw it had a bunch of favorites and was really trying to figure out why. Was it some Dutch - sorry, Netherlands - related joke and/or history that I didn't get? Is it a Dutch stereotype to get stuck in elevators, and send choppy text messages from unfamiliar technology? MetaFilter has crossed me up before, so I was understandably wary.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:37 PM on December 28, 2012 [13 favorites]
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:37 PM on December 28, 2012 [13 favorites]
IANYER (I Am Not Your Elevator Repairperson)
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 8:38 PM on December 28, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 8:38 PM on December 28, 2012 [3 favorites]
Somewhere Neal Stephenson shivered, as though someone had walked over his grave...
posted by adamdschneider at 9:00 PM on December 28, 2012
posted by adamdschneider at 9:00 PM on December 28, 2012
I just don't get the subtleties of Dutch humor.
posted by 2bucksplus at 9:06 PM on December 28, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by 2bucksplus at 9:06 PM on December 28, 2012 [4 favorites]
adamdschneider: "Somewhere Neal Stephenson shivered, as though someone had walked over his grave..."
This is actually how his next book will start.
posted by boo_radley at 9:07 PM on December 28, 2012 [6 favorites]
This is actually how his next book will start.
posted by boo_radley at 9:07 PM on December 28, 2012 [6 favorites]
A man is stuck in an elevator. He doesn't know it, but he's the most stupendous badass of all time to be stuck in an elevator in the history of all known life forms and elevators.
He has a kindle.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 9:20 PM on December 28, 2012 [12 favorites]
He has a kindle.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 9:20 PM on December 28, 2012 [12 favorites]
So, dances_with_sneetches, I'm curious -- were you thinking "this is a fast-moving thread, I'll choose it" intentionally, or was it just the first one you could get through to?
Wondering also how it might have gone had you posted an actual question to Ask. I s'pose that would have been more difficult/impossible on the Kindle?
I'm awfully glad you got out -- didn't quite catch it in real time -- you'd been sprung right as I was scrolling down. I was kinda going through my rusty Spanish in my head trying to figure out how to explain to your wife that I was calling from the internet to explain that you were trapped in an elevator. I got stuck at elevator, though -- what's the word for that? You know, for next time.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:26 PM on December 28, 2012 [3 favorites]
Wondering also how it might have gone had you posted an actual question to Ask. I s'pose that would have been more difficult/impossible on the Kindle?
I'm awfully glad you got out -- didn't quite catch it in real time -- you'd been sprung right as I was scrolling down. I was kinda going through my rusty Spanish in my head trying to figure out how to explain to your wife that I was calling from the internet to explain that you were trapped in an elevator. I got stuck at elevator, though -- what's the word for that? You know, for next time.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:26 PM on December 28, 2012 [3 favorites]
So...there wasn't going to be a metatalk thread approved for the dude stuck in the elevator, per one of the mods....yet, here we are with a metatalk thread...about the dude stuck in the elevator.
Color me confused?
posted by dfriedman at 9:27 PM on December 28, 2012 [2 favorites]
Color me confused?
posted by dfriedman at 9:27 PM on December 28, 2012 [2 favorites]
I loved the update with all of the action movie details!
And it looks like just having human contact was meaningful to dances with sneetches...sure would have been to me, had I been in that situation.
posted by batmonkey at 9:33 PM on December 28, 2012
And it looks like just having human contact was meaningful to dances with sneetches...sure would have been to me, had I been in that situation.
posted by batmonkey at 9:33 PM on December 28, 2012
lol hijacked threadbut
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:35 PM on December 28, 2012
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:35 PM on December 28, 2012
It is kind of amazing that it was easier for dances with sneetches to get in touch with thousands of strangers scattered around the world than the security guard in his own building.
posted by Kevin Street at 9:50 PM on December 28, 2012 [40 favorites]
posted by Kevin Street at 9:50 PM on December 28, 2012 [40 favorites]
So...there wasn't going to be a metatalk thread approved for the dude stuck in the elevator, per one of the mods....yet, here we are with a metatalk thread...about the dude stuck in the elevator.
A crisis-in-progress MetaTalk seemed like a bad idea, since people were responding, no one was in danger of anything worse than boredom (at least in the immediate future) and more eyeballs wouldn't do anything but flood the phone lines. An after-action report, however, is totally fine.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 9:50 PM on December 28, 2012 [2 favorites]
A crisis-in-progress MetaTalk seemed like a bad idea, since people were responding, no one was in danger of anything worse than boredom (at least in the immediate future) and more eyeballs wouldn't do anything but flood the phone lines. An after-action report, however, is totally fine.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 9:50 PM on December 28, 2012 [2 favorites]
Glad you're okay, dances with sneetches.
posted by zarq at 9:52 PM on December 28, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by zarq at 9:52 PM on December 28, 2012 [3 favorites]
A crisis-in-progress MetaTalk seemed like a bad idea
That's fair.
posted by dfriedman at 9:54 PM on December 28, 2012
That's fair.
posted by dfriedman at 9:54 PM on December 28, 2012
If I was stuck in an elevator with a kindle there's a fair chance I would take the opportunity to read a book in peace and quiet.
posted by ODiV at 10:00 PM on December 28, 2012 [19 favorites]
posted by ODiV at 10:00 PM on December 28, 2012 [19 favorites]
I think the potential of being stuck in the elevator until the New Year might distract a little from the text...
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 10:03 PM on December 28, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 10:03 PM on December 28, 2012 [2 favorites]
I was at a meetup tonight in Toronto and maudlin said something about a user stuck in an elevator popping up in the middle of the Netherlands thread. My hearing is shot from years of working in factories and playing loud bands, so I just assumed I had misunderstood.
May I now say, "Hunh."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:11 PM on December 28, 2012 [5 favorites]
May I now say, "Hunh."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:11 PM on December 28, 2012 [5 favorites]
I do not understand this callout.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:19 PM on December 28, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by shakespeherian at 10:19 PM on December 28, 2012 [3 favorites]
I love that it was a (totally well-intentioned) derail that didn't actually derail except very briefly. If only we could do that in more threads!
(And it got me reading an fpp I didn't think I would be interested in but it turns out I found it interesting. I should remember that.)
posted by rtha at 10:19 PM on December 28, 2012 [4 favorites]
(And it got me reading an fpp I didn't think I would be interested in but it turns out I found it interesting. I should remember that.)
posted by rtha at 10:19 PM on December 28, 2012 [4 favorites]
If I was stuck in an elevator with a kindle there's a fair chance I would take the opportunity to read a book in peace and quiet.
I've been stuck in two separate elevators about eight years apart and yeah, this is basically what you do.
The first time I was working at an assisted living facility (at which my grandmother lived) washing windows the summer after I finished high school. I think the pressure on the elevator from me going in and out with the ladder all day wore it out. I was in there with a resident and once we let the management know what was going on she kept knitting and I read my book. It was really nice until the fire department showed up and it was weirdly embarrassing to come out of the elevator to all those people.
The second time was in my last apartment building. It was about 11:30 at night the day I started my student teaching. I didn't have my cell phone with me so I used the button and they got someone there over an hour and a half later which meant I didn't get to bed until about 1:30 in the morning before my second day. On the other hand, yeah, it was nice to get some reading done.
It's weird because unless you're claustrophobic (I'm not) the biggest issue is that you don't know how long you're going to be in there. If you know it's for half an hour it's probably not that big a deal but if it's the middle of the night the prospect of being stuck for a while is not a whole lot of fun. The other issue is that you really can't do anything about it; when the elevator woman told me they were sending someone that was it, I just had to sit there until he arrived. If it had taken him four hours really all I could have done was called her back on the elevator phone. It's not a problem you can solve yourself, it's mostly just strange and uncomfortable and the second time I was worried my Kindle battery was going to run out.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:23 PM on December 28, 2012
I've been stuck in two separate elevators about eight years apart and yeah, this is basically what you do.
The first time I was working at an assisted living facility (at which my grandmother lived) washing windows the summer after I finished high school. I think the pressure on the elevator from me going in and out with the ladder all day wore it out. I was in there with a resident and once we let the management know what was going on she kept knitting and I read my book. It was really nice until the fire department showed up and it was weirdly embarrassing to come out of the elevator to all those people.
The second time was in my last apartment building. It was about 11:30 at night the day I started my student teaching. I didn't have my cell phone with me so I used the button and they got someone there over an hour and a half later which meant I didn't get to bed until about 1:30 in the morning before my second day. On the other hand, yeah, it was nice to get some reading done.
It's weird because unless you're claustrophobic (I'm not) the biggest issue is that you don't know how long you're going to be in there. If you know it's for half an hour it's probably not that big a deal but if it's the middle of the night the prospect of being stuck for a while is not a whole lot of fun. The other issue is that you really can't do anything about it; when the elevator woman told me they were sending someone that was it, I just had to sit there until he arrived. If it had taken him four hours really all I could have done was called her back on the elevator phone. It's not a problem you can solve yourself, it's mostly just strange and uncomfortable and the second time I was worried my Kindle battery was going to run out.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:23 PM on December 28, 2012
The real lesson here is to read books on an iPad.
posted by desjardins at 10:30 PM on December 28, 2012 [13 favorites]
posted by desjardins at 10:30 PM on December 28, 2012 [13 favorites]
It is kind of amazing that it was easier for dances with sneetches to get in touch with thousands of strangers scattered around the world than the security guard in his own building.
Having worked night security I can guarantee you this would not have been the case if I were on shift. I definitely would have been reading Metafilter and would have seen the comment almost immediately.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:38 PM on December 28, 2012 [101 favorites]
Having worked night security I can guarantee you this would not have been the case if I were on shift. I definitely would have been reading Metafilter and would have seen the comment almost immediately.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:38 PM on December 28, 2012 [101 favorites]
From dances' summary comment (after achieving freedom) in the original thread, I thought this was a brilliant phrase: "a Bruce Willis air duct." So perfectly evocative! It made me crack up hard.
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 11:03 PM on December 28, 2012 [11 favorites]
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 11:03 PM on December 28, 2012 [11 favorites]
I'm cleisiophobic (basically only claustrophobic if I'm locked in and can't get out) due to once getting stuck in a bathroom in a dangerous situation, and I would have totally needed lots of Mefites to calm me down if I was stuck in an elevator. Note to self: Never leave home without Kindle.
posted by IndigoRain at 11:18 PM on December 28, 2012
posted by IndigoRain at 11:18 PM on December 28, 2012
Why you don't want to be stuck in an elevator for 41 hours (previously).
posted by ShooBoo at 11:34 PM on December 28, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by ShooBoo at 11:34 PM on December 28, 2012 [1 favorite]
I once posted a tweet to reach a friend from the middle of nowhere Wyoming using my kindle (because my Verizon phone was dead and everyone else has useless AT&T). Logging in to Twitter from a kindle took forever, and posting a tweet took another ice age. So I salute this man for successfully seeking help with a kindle.
posted by special-k at 11:39 PM on December 28, 2012
posted by special-k at 11:39 PM on December 28, 2012
"Come over to the research building, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."
posted by Lazlo Nibble at 12:26 AM on December 29, 2012 [13 favorites]
posted by Lazlo Nibble at 12:26 AM on December 29, 2012 [13 favorites]
I do not understand this callout.
Kindly call out your floors, please.
posted by flabdablet at 1:48 AM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
Kindly call out your floors, please.
posted by flabdablet at 1:48 AM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
When something like this happens and I miss it unfolding real time, I never want to go to bed early again.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:03 AM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:03 AM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
I'm thinking of going back on my Kindle and finding what other places I could have written for help. Maybe some police station has a message/action board.
Yes, my mother and son came there of their own accord.
Yes, I grabbed the first active thread.
I did look at the situation as a great time to read for the first hour and a half.
Thinking back, an elevator alarm that only rings inside the elevator is the worst sort of useless, like a panic button that is attached to nothing. Except it did ring loud enough so I couldn't hear others outside.
My wife actually first went to my office to find me which is only two doors down from the elevator and didn't hear it.
In the back of my mind, I thought I might be there the whole New Year's weekend until the 2nd? Then dehydration might have been a real problem. I suppose if I weren't married and wasn't expected home at fiveish that might have been more likely.
I was also thinking of how to pass the considerable time. Finish reading or writing a novel. Finish writing my upcoming grant (or having a great excuse for not finishing the grant I'm writing before the sixth.)
Meanwhile, there seems to be some confusion between the Dutch and Hollanders or Netherlanders or Danish or Heckel and Jecklel and Hyde.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 3:26 AM on December 29, 2012 [27 favorites]
Yes, my mother and son came there of their own accord.
Yes, I grabbed the first active thread.
I did look at the situation as a great time to read for the first hour and a half.
Thinking back, an elevator alarm that only rings inside the elevator is the worst sort of useless, like a panic button that is attached to nothing. Except it did ring loud enough so I couldn't hear others outside.
My wife actually first went to my office to find me which is only two doors down from the elevator and didn't hear it.
In the back of my mind, I thought I might be there the whole New Year's weekend until the 2nd? Then dehydration might have been a real problem. I suppose if I weren't married and wasn't expected home at fiveish that might have been more likely.
I was also thinking of how to pass the considerable time. Finish reading or writing a novel. Finish writing my upcoming grant (or having a great excuse for not finishing the grant I'm writing before the sixth.)
Meanwhile, there seems to be some confusion between the Dutch and Hollanders or Netherlanders or Danish or Heckel and Jecklel and Hyde.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 3:26 AM on December 29, 2012 [27 favorites]
Oh, and I didn't invent Bruce Willis air duct. It's one of Roger Ebert's terms.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 3:54 AM on December 29, 2012 [6 favorites]
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 3:54 AM on December 29, 2012 [6 favorites]
Huh, so based on this thread, I did some googling, and apparently my first impulse (escape through the roof hatch) is not the best one.
I'll still probably try it, though, because how often do you get to do that?
posted by Eideteker at 5:45 AM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'll still probably try it, though, because how often do you get to do that?
posted by Eideteker at 5:45 AM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
Because you got out (YAY) I can tell this story:
In the 1890s this chewing gum guy, like one of the richest people in Brooklyn, built a big fucking house with an elevator. I think it was one of the first elevators in a home in the U.S. but maybe that is just because I am poor so it seems like the dude was Mitt Romney of the 19th century. ANYWAY.
One day rich family leave the house for the summer, as rich people do, I guess? NYC was grosser in those days so maybe there was more incentive to get outta Dodge. Who stayed in the house? The servants.
Rich family comes home in the fall. All the power is out. Uh-oh. Call for the servants. Silence. Turned out, they had all been in the elevator when the power went out.
And of course, this big fucking house was cut into apartments for people. SOME OF THOSE HAD BEDROOMS IN THE FORMER ELEVATOR SHAFT. And then...the stories began. Ghostly cries of "Lord help us!" and "Water, please, water!" began to drift out of those bedroom.
True story. Glad you got out Mssr. Sneetches. Although just think, if you had died there you could have haunted people for centuries. I totally want to haunt people after I die.
Anyway.
posted by angrycat at 6:30 AM on December 29, 2012 [11 favorites]
In the 1890s this chewing gum guy, like one of the richest people in Brooklyn, built a big fucking house with an elevator. I think it was one of the first elevators in a home in the U.S. but maybe that is just because I am poor so it seems like the dude was Mitt Romney of the 19th century. ANYWAY.
One day rich family leave the house for the summer, as rich people do, I guess? NYC was grosser in those days so maybe there was more incentive to get outta Dodge. Who stayed in the house? The servants.
Rich family comes home in the fall. All the power is out. Uh-oh. Call for the servants. Silence. Turned out, they had all been in the elevator when the power went out.
And of course, this big fucking house was cut into apartments for people. SOME OF THOSE HAD BEDROOMS IN THE FORMER ELEVATOR SHAFT. And then...the stories began. Ghostly cries of "Lord help us!" and "Water, please, water!" began to drift out of those bedroom.
True story. Glad you got out Mssr. Sneetches. Although just think, if you had died there you could have haunted people for centuries. I totally want to haunt people after I die.
Anyway.
posted by angrycat at 6:30 AM on December 29, 2012 [11 favorites]
ODiV: "If I was stuck in an elevator with a kindle there's a fair chance I would take the opportunity to read a book in peace and quiet."
Ah, yes, time enough at last.
posted by Room 641-A at 6:54 AM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
Ah, yes, time enough at last.
posted by Room 641-A at 6:54 AM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
I get the impression that the alarm bell was sounding continuously from the moment the button was pushed until the rescue. I wouldn't be bothered by claustrophobia, but having an alarm bell going off forever would drive me nuts.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:42 AM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:42 AM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
And that children, is why I always carry both my cell phone with kindle software loaded and at least one physical book -- two if the first is almost running out.
At first when reading the comment I actually thought it was spam but a quick glance at dances_with_sneetches' user page showed that was unlikely. Still weird though.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:39 AM on December 29, 2012
At first when reading the comment I actually thought it was spam but a quick glance at dances_with_sneetches' user page showed that was unlikely. Still weird though.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:39 AM on December 29, 2012
Just curious, but how many "derail" flags did that first comment get?
posted by Rock Steady at 8:46 AM on December 29, 2012
posted by Rock Steady at 8:46 AM on December 29, 2012
Having tried to use the internet on my Kindle, I salute your perseverance. Constant alarm bells would have driven me batty but I always carry earplugs in my bag.
posted by arcticseal at 9:30 AM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by arcticseal at 9:30 AM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
It got a lot of flags but they were mostly "other". Only a few "derail".
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:22 AM on December 29, 2012
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:22 AM on December 29, 2012
Seeking help via a kindle - second world problem, probably.
posted by special-k at 10:43 AM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by special-k at 10:43 AM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
Yes, I was one of those reading it in real time and knew that i couldn't help (no habla espanol and wrong continent) but figured if I flagged it other, a mod would see it and *DO SOMETHING* ...
Glad you're out sneetches...
posted by infini at 10:53 AM on December 29, 2012
Glad you're out sneetches...
posted by infini at 10:53 AM on December 29, 2012
Careful. I've heard sneetches get steetches.
posted by ODiV at 11:05 AM on December 29, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by ODiV at 11:05 AM on December 29, 2012 [7 favorites]
I was reading the thread, came to the derail, saw it had a bunch of favorites and was really trying to figure out why. Was it some Dutch - sorry, Netherlands - related joke and/or history that I didn't get? Is it a Dutch stereotype to get stuck in elevators, and send choppy text messages from unfamiliar technology? MetaFilter has crossed me up before, so I was understandably wary.
I felt exactly the same way. I thought the entire thing was some elaborate joke that I wasn't understanding until I checked MetaTalk and saw this thread.
posted by asnider at 11:30 AM on December 29, 2012
I felt exactly the same way. I thought the entire thing was some elaborate joke that I wasn't understanding until I checked MetaTalk and saw this thread.
posted by asnider at 11:30 AM on December 29, 2012
This is why I'd rather take the stairs in a place/time where people wouldn't immediately notice an elevator not working. Getting stuck in elevators is scary!
posted by CrazyLemonade at 12:08 PM on December 29, 2012
posted by CrazyLemonade at 12:08 PM on December 29, 2012
Also, I speak spanish and was reading Metafilter most of yesterday except for those two hours where I watched the Downton Abbey Christmas episode (4.30 to 6.30pm). Hopefully I can help with the next spanish-needed emergency.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 12:11 PM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by CrazyLemonade at 12:11 PM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
Sneeches, so glad you're out with nothing but a cute story to tell.
Celebrate with pancakes!!
posted by BlueHorse at 12:23 PM on December 29, 2012
Celebrate with pancakes!!
posted by BlueHorse at 12:23 PM on December 29, 2012
CrazyLemonade: Did you want to call my wife and tell her something in Spanish?
posted by ODiV at 1:18 PM on December 29, 2012
posted by ODiV at 1:18 PM on December 29, 2012
OdiV, I will call her and tell her the book is on the table.
posted by msali at 2:44 PM on December 29, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by msali at 2:44 PM on December 29, 2012 [4 favorites]
OdiV: I'd be happy to call her and ask her where the library is.
posted by special-k at 3:01 PM on December 29, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by special-k at 3:01 PM on December 29, 2012 [3 favorites]
una cerveza, por favor.
posted by desjardins at 3:39 PM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by desjardins at 3:39 PM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
ODiV: Does your wife know that Maria is my female friend?
posted by Rock Steady at 3:47 PM on December 29, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 3:47 PM on December 29, 2012 [4 favorites]
there is the important fact that girls may be under trees holding books.
i would not want her to be without this vital informatiion.
posted by The Whelk at 3:51 PM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
i would not want her to be without this vital informatiion.
posted by The Whelk at 3:51 PM on December 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'm just stuck with the pen of my aunt.
posted by infini at 4:00 PM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by infini at 4:00 PM on December 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
Crazy Lemonade, the elevator isn't the only place you can get stuck; I got stuck in a car wash once. I think I hit the metal track thingies at the wrong angle, so the car wasn't getting pulled through, and the wash kept going and going with foam and water flying everywhere. I finally called my sister on my cell and she called the convenience store so they could shut it down (which took a while). I was in there maybe 45 minutes or so.
It took me about a year and a half before I could use an automatic car wash again (and it was a different one). They still freak me out a little.
posted by WorkingMyWayHome at 6:11 PM on December 29, 2012 [5 favorites]
It took me about a year and a half before I could use an automatic car wash again (and it was a different one). They still freak me out a little.
posted by WorkingMyWayHome at 6:11 PM on December 29, 2012 [5 favorites]
My Elevator/Bad Parenting Anecdote:
We were in Spain this past summer, and after an awesome night and a great dinner in Alicante, I was riding up to our room in the hotel elevator with my 15 year-old daughter. I was trying to make her laugh by doing a stupid dance to the cheesy elevator music. For some reason, (reader, I had consumed a few beers at dinner) I thought it would be funny to pretend to open the elevator doors with my hands. Well I'm an idiot because I actually moved the doors a bit and the elevator instantly stopped and everything went dead. The buttons didn't work; we were just stopped. We sort of open-mouth stared at each other in disbelief for a few minutes and pounded on every button. My daughter was alternating between laughing at my idiocy and saying "Dad, what did you do!?" I reluctantly tried the "alarm" button, apprehensively touching it and jerking my hand away when the loud bell sounded. And again, quickly. Then my daughter just pushed the button hard for a good 10 seconds and the alarm went off loud and clear. But nothing happened. A few minutes later, we started to hear people on other floors aggressively pushing buttons and trying to figure out why the elevator wasn't coming.
Then we saw the button with a picture of a phone on it, so we pushed that and it began dialling somewhere. A woman answered in Spanish and I told her slowly in English that "something happened" and we were stuck in an elevator, in between floors, but that IT WASN'T AN EMERGENCY and WE WERE OKAY. She said something and put us on hold; Spanish Muzak played and we laughed about that. We started talking about all the sitcoms we'd seen where characters are trapped in an elevator. I thought it might be an episode of The Office that had someone (Dwight?) try to establish a "designated peeing corner." Handily, there was a digital thermometer by the elevator buttons which fed our growing discomfort by clearly showing us the temperature's slow climb up from 78 degrees...why the thermometer would function but not the AC seemed odd to me, in July, in the south of Spain.
Finally, the woman came back on the speaker and told us that "help was on the way."
I started getting really paranoid that fire engines and local paramedics would come...I was listening for sirens...and maybe there were cameras in this elevator and they would replay the tape and see me prancing around like a jackass and yanking open the doors of a moving elevator, risking my life and the life of my helpless child passenger. I would go to jail for breaking Spanish law or we would get some enormous fine...we really shouldn't have splurged on this trip in the first place, truth be told. I did a scan of the elevator and couldn't see any obvious cameras. Temperature climbing and slightly sweaty now, I turned to my daughter, and said, "okay, this is what happened: I was leaning against the doors, right in the middle here where they open, and my shoulder sort of pushed them open a bit." This story was a gamble; if there were cameras I was fucked. And a liar.
Time slowly passed as the temperature climbed and my daughter would periodically burst out laughing, remembering my Idiot's Dance; I would laugh nervously, but mostly I clutched my sweaty head in my hands and moaned "UGH WHAT DID I DO" and "I'M SUCH AN IDIOT" over and over.
Suddenly, the doors started jerking open, but only about 3 inches or so, and we looked down by our feet and saw the nice young concierge, (who'd smiled and chatted and offered us fresh lemonade when we checked in) and a few other people looking up at us, while trying to hold the doors open. "Are you okay?" he shouted, upwardly. "We are SO SORRY about this. We will have you out very soon. Are you sure you're okay?" and then the doors closed again. Such a nice guy.
OH MAN, OHMYGOD I'm a moron.
We could hear a commotion starting, and more people gathering outside the elevator doors, both below us and above us. I was just dreading the spectacle of what was going to happen when they got us out. I'm the kind of person that hates attending public performances of anything other than a concert; especially when you are seated in a conspicuous place like the first few rows or an aisle. I have a constant, intense fear that some kind of "audience participation" thing will happen, as it inevitably does...and as the smiling, costumed performer starts searching the crowd for an audience-member I get a cold sweat and look for the exits "I...I have to go to the bathroom, be right back."
And then the elevator jerked and came back online and we started moving. We were going down...past the 1st floor! It was like the elevator was reset; we bypassed the 1st and second floors, where everyone was waiting for us, and went all the way down to the lobby! The doors opened like nothing happened and there were no crowds of people; only a single, smiling couple waiting for the elevator. I was so relieved that I held the door open for them (that is still the most shocking part for my daughter, when she tells The Elevator Story) and they said thank you and blissfully walked into the doomed vessel and the doors closed behind them.
On cue, the other elevator opened up and we jumped into it and went directly up to our floor and did a brisk, silent, straight-armed walk right to our room and no one was ever the wiser.
posted by chococat at 9:03 PM on December 29, 2012 [31 favorites]
We were in Spain this past summer, and after an awesome night and a great dinner in Alicante, I was riding up to our room in the hotel elevator with my 15 year-old daughter. I was trying to make her laugh by doing a stupid dance to the cheesy elevator music. For some reason, (reader, I had consumed a few beers at dinner) I thought it would be funny to pretend to open the elevator doors with my hands. Well I'm an idiot because I actually moved the doors a bit and the elevator instantly stopped and everything went dead. The buttons didn't work; we were just stopped. We sort of open-mouth stared at each other in disbelief for a few minutes and pounded on every button. My daughter was alternating between laughing at my idiocy and saying "Dad, what did you do!?" I reluctantly tried the "alarm" button, apprehensively touching it and jerking my hand away when the loud bell sounded. And again, quickly. Then my daughter just pushed the button hard for a good 10 seconds and the alarm went off loud and clear. But nothing happened. A few minutes later, we started to hear people on other floors aggressively pushing buttons and trying to figure out why the elevator wasn't coming.
Then we saw the button with a picture of a phone on it, so we pushed that and it began dialling somewhere. A woman answered in Spanish and I told her slowly in English that "something happened" and we were stuck in an elevator, in between floors, but that IT WASN'T AN EMERGENCY and WE WERE OKAY. She said something and put us on hold; Spanish Muzak played and we laughed about that. We started talking about all the sitcoms we'd seen where characters are trapped in an elevator. I thought it might be an episode of The Office that had someone (Dwight?) try to establish a "designated peeing corner." Handily, there was a digital thermometer by the elevator buttons which fed our growing discomfort by clearly showing us the temperature's slow climb up from 78 degrees...why the thermometer would function but not the AC seemed odd to me, in July, in the south of Spain.
Finally, the woman came back on the speaker and told us that "help was on the way."
I started getting really paranoid that fire engines and local paramedics would come...I was listening for sirens...and maybe there were cameras in this elevator and they would replay the tape and see me prancing around like a jackass and yanking open the doors of a moving elevator, risking my life and the life of my helpless child passenger. I would go to jail for breaking Spanish law or we would get some enormous fine...we really shouldn't have splurged on this trip in the first place, truth be told. I did a scan of the elevator and couldn't see any obvious cameras. Temperature climbing and slightly sweaty now, I turned to my daughter, and said, "okay, this is what happened: I was leaning against the doors, right in the middle here where they open, and my shoulder sort of pushed them open a bit." This story was a gamble; if there were cameras I was fucked. And a liar.
Time slowly passed as the temperature climbed and my daughter would periodically burst out laughing, remembering my Idiot's Dance; I would laugh nervously, but mostly I clutched my sweaty head in my hands and moaned "UGH WHAT DID I DO" and "I'M SUCH AN IDIOT" over and over.
Suddenly, the doors started jerking open, but only about 3 inches or so, and we looked down by our feet and saw the nice young concierge, (who'd smiled and chatted and offered us fresh lemonade when we checked in) and a few other people looking up at us, while trying to hold the doors open. "Are you okay?" he shouted, upwardly. "We are SO SORRY about this. We will have you out very soon. Are you sure you're okay?" and then the doors closed again. Such a nice guy.
OH MAN, OHMYGOD I'm a moron.
We could hear a commotion starting, and more people gathering outside the elevator doors, both below us and above us. I was just dreading the spectacle of what was going to happen when they got us out. I'm the kind of person that hates attending public performances of anything other than a concert; especially when you are seated in a conspicuous place like the first few rows or an aisle. I have a constant, intense fear that some kind of "audience participation" thing will happen, as it inevitably does...and as the smiling, costumed performer starts searching the crowd for an audience-member I get a cold sweat and look for the exits "I...I have to go to the bathroom, be right back."
And then the elevator jerked and came back online and we started moving. We were going down...past the 1st floor! It was like the elevator was reset; we bypassed the 1st and second floors, where everyone was waiting for us, and went all the way down to the lobby! The doors opened like nothing happened and there were no crowds of people; only a single, smiling couple waiting for the elevator. I was so relieved that I held the door open for them (that is still the most shocking part for my daughter, when she tells The Elevator Story) and they said thank you and blissfully walked into the doomed vessel and the doors closed behind them.
On cue, the other elevator opened up and we jumped into it and went directly up to our floor and did a brisk, silent, straight-armed walk right to our room and no one was ever the wiser.
posted by chococat at 9:03 PM on December 29, 2012 [31 favorites]
They must not have had this sign in that elevator.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:17 PM on December 29, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:17 PM on December 29, 2012 [4 favorites]
WorkingMyWayHome: "I got stuck in a car wash once."
Been there! The garage door just didn't come up at the end. Called information, called the gas station, fixed. We were in there maybe half an hour.
Great story chococat, glad your moment of stupidity wasn't found out.
If anyone ever needs to know, "ayudame" is Spanish for "help me." eye-you-duh-may.
posted by IndigoRain at 9:32 PM on December 29, 2012
Been there! The garage door just didn't come up at the end. Called information, called the gas station, fixed. We were in there maybe half an hour.
Great story chococat, glad your moment of stupidity wasn't found out.
If anyone ever needs to know, "ayudame" is Spanish for "help me." eye-you-duh-may.
posted by IndigoRain at 9:32 PM on December 29, 2012
"Yeah, some white guy is trapped in the elevator and apparently wants a beer and directions to the library."
posted by ODiV at 9:35 PM on December 29, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by ODiV at 9:35 PM on December 29, 2012 [3 favorites]
No entiendo los jokes.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 9:40 PM on December 29, 2012
posted by CrazyLemonade at 9:40 PM on December 29, 2012
They must not have had this sign in that elevator.
Oh man. I'm That Guy.
Shameful.
posted by chococat at 9:48 PM on December 29, 2012
Oh man. I'm That Guy.
Shameful.
posted by chococat at 9:48 PM on December 29, 2012
Yeah, but at least you anonymized your story so nobody will ever find out.
Oh.
posted by flabdablet at 12:09 AM on December 30, 2012 [1 favorite]
Oh.
posted by flabdablet at 12:09 AM on December 30, 2012 [1 favorite]
I have never been stuck in an elevator for more than a few minutes, so no tales to be told. On the other hand, I have written on MeFi more than once about the Shady Brothers, my former landlords in Ottawa whose conduct straddled the boundaries between criminality and incompetence.
There was an elevator in the apartment building, of course (eleven floors), and people were occasionally known to get stuck in it, as it was maintained in the same laissez-faire fashion as everything else. After one maintenance incident wherein the superintendent could not be located, a notice appeared under everyone's door outlining emergency contact procedures with two telephone numbers: one for the superintendent/maintenance guy (on call 24 hours) and one for the administration office (200 km away in Montreal and open Monday to Friday, 9 to 5) with a helpful outline of in which situations it was applicable to call which number. Fair enough: if you have just discovered a persistent drip in your kitchen faucet, no need to wake the maintenance guy up at 3:00 AM for him to hear about it, but if the building is on fire, someone should probably hear about it ASAP.
Through carelessness or design, "being trapped in the elevator" was listed under the non-emergency situations: if the elevator lurched to a halt at 6:00 Friday night, you had better be prepared to tough it out until Monday morning, and best of luck with long weekends.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:13 AM on December 30, 2012 [3 favorites]
There was an elevator in the apartment building, of course (eleven floors), and people were occasionally known to get stuck in it, as it was maintained in the same laissez-faire fashion as everything else. After one maintenance incident wherein the superintendent could not be located, a notice appeared under everyone's door outlining emergency contact procedures with two telephone numbers: one for the superintendent/maintenance guy (on call 24 hours) and one for the administration office (200 km away in Montreal and open Monday to Friday, 9 to 5) with a helpful outline of in which situations it was applicable to call which number. Fair enough: if you have just discovered a persistent drip in your kitchen faucet, no need to wake the maintenance guy up at 3:00 AM for him to hear about it, but if the building is on fire, someone should probably hear about it ASAP.
Through carelessness or design, "being trapped in the elevator" was listed under the non-emergency situations: if the elevator lurched to a halt at 6:00 Friday night, you had better be prepared to tough it out until Monday morning, and best of luck with long weekends.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:13 AM on December 30, 2012 [3 favorites]
Has this been posted here on metafilter? Scary elevator prank in Brazil.
So the elevator stops, this little girl who looks like the Brazilian version of Samara from The Ring sneaks in from somewhere and starts screaming her head off. The passengers mostly shit themselves, the teevee audience laaaauuuuuuuuuughs and laughs as these people have heart attacks, strokes, and generally lose years off their lives.
posted by angrycat at 7:22 AM on December 30, 2012 [3 favorites]
So the elevator stops, this little girl who looks like the Brazilian version of Samara from The Ring sneaks in from somewhere and starts screaming her head off. The passengers mostly shit themselves, the teevee audience laaaauuuuuuuuuughs and laughs as these people have heart attacks, strokes, and generally lose years off their lives.
posted by angrycat at 7:22 AM on December 30, 2012 [3 favorites]
Worst danger of being trapped in an elevator has got to be the likelihood of having to pee very, very badly, no?
posted by desuetude at 11:58 AM on December 30, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by desuetude at 11:58 AM on December 30, 2012 [3 favorites]
Has this been posted here on metafilter? Scary elevator prank in Brazil.
Good lord, that's mean.
posted by zarq at 12:01 PM on December 30, 2012 [1 favorite]
Good lord, that's mean.
posted by zarq at 12:01 PM on December 30, 2012 [1 favorite]
I just had to look up angrycat's story. The magnate was Thomas Adams, Jr. (apparently Junior invented Chiclets), the architect was C.P.H. Gilbert, and the pile is still there and gorgeous as all get-out. Wow. The elevator story, such as it is, is a widely-repeated bit of lore without any apparent documentation.
posted by dhartung at 2:14 PM on December 30, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by dhartung at 2:14 PM on December 30, 2012 [4 favorites]
I have never let documentation get in the way of a good ghost story.
posted by The Whelk at 3:55 PM on December 30, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 3:55 PM on December 30, 2012 [1 favorite]
dhartung, way cool; I was doing some research for a thing and was going to use that story for the thing, but I had yet to get a visual on that place -- turns out, jesus, I lived like three blocks away at one point. No ghostly cries wafted three blocks to me, tho.
posted by angrycat at 4:17 PM on December 30, 2012
posted by angrycat at 4:17 PM on December 30, 2012
boo_radley: "adamdschneider: "Somewhere Neal Stephenson shivered, as though someone had walked over his grave..."
This is actually how his next book will start."
No, actually, this is how Thomas Friedman's next book will start.
posted by adamrice at 7:46 AM on December 31, 2012
This is actually how his next book will start."
No, actually, this is how Thomas Friedman's next book will start.
posted by adamrice at 7:46 AM on December 31, 2012
It must be the mother in me, but now I am worrying that the next poor soul, someone whose letters to Santa for a new Kindle/iPad went unheeded, will be stuck in that elevator with no working alarm and no way to notify his internet friends. Or maybe he has a Kindle but no Metafilter account! What then?
Seriously, dances_with_sneeches, if you are reading this thread, I know you are out safe and sound now and I'm so glad. Yay! But--it's likely everyone else involved chalked your situation up to "No harm done" and then forgot all about it. Please follow up with them to make sure the elevator alarm system works properly!
posted by misha at 11:53 AM on December 31, 2012 [1 favorite]
Seriously, dances_with_sneeches, if you are reading this thread, I know you are out safe and sound now and I'm so glad. Yay! But--it's likely everyone else involved chalked your situation up to "No harm done" and then forgot all about it. Please follow up with them to make sure the elevator alarm system works properly!
posted by misha at 11:53 AM on December 31, 2012 [1 favorite]
The one time I was stuck in an elevator (oddly enough, this was also in a research building), it was pretty uneventful. It happened on a weekend when I was running up to the lab to do something quickly before hopping on the train. I had a coffee and bagel with me which was nice but I was worried about drinking the coffee and than having to pee in the elevator. Someone answered the intercom right away and they got me out within maybe fifteen minutes and I managed to catch my train too.
posted by exogenous at 12:00 PM on December 31, 2012
posted by exogenous at 12:00 PM on December 31, 2012
Oh man, I hope I never see that sign in an elevator, because the urge to test it would be overwhelming. Like the History Eraser Button from Ren and Stimpy.
posted by Roommate at 1:10 PM on December 31, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Roommate at 1:10 PM on December 31, 2012 [1 favorite]
I had a coffee and bagel with me which was nice but I was worried about drinking the coffee and than having to pee in the elevator.
Man, you were soooo lucky to have an (eventually) empty coffee cup.
It is my greatest fear that I will be stuck in an elevator without a coffee cup. How to explain the wet spot in the corner?
posted by BlueHorse at 10:48 PM on January 1, 2013
Man, you were soooo lucky to have an (eventually) empty coffee cup.
It is my greatest fear that I will be stuck in an elevator without a coffee cup. How to explain the wet spot in the corner?
posted by BlueHorse at 10:48 PM on January 1, 2013
And now 2013 begins with me possibly being labeled "guy who never gets in an elevator without a cup" guy at work. Thanks folks.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:38 AM on January 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:38 AM on January 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
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posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:08 PM on December 28, 2012 [1 favorite]