Ow! My eyes!

June 9, 2012 7:20 AM

Somewhat snarky but very apt description of Mira Grant's Feed. I want to find it again.

Recently--like within the last two weeks--in a book thread that I think was probably on Ask, someone wrote a sort-of-snarky description of Mira Grant's novel Feed.

It went something like "Talk about how sensitive my eyes are, exposition, exposition, repeat..." but better and more detailed than that.

When I read the comment, I hadn't read the book. Now I am reading the book, and wow was that comment apt. I would like to see it again just so I can go, "Yep, that's what the book is like, all right."

I think it was in a "recommend me some books" question on Ask, but I am usually wrong about that kind of thing, so I suppose it could have been on the front page.

I have been searching and not finding it.

posted by not that girl to MetaFilter-Related at 7:20 AM (13 comments total)

It sounds like this comment on the short film Spoiler:

To really be comparable to Feed, every 3 minutes of the running time someone would deliver a line or two about the fingertip sting of the testing needle. Every 2 minutes there would be a line about how sensitive to light his eyes are, and every 3 minutes and 30 seconds there would be mention of how blogging has replaced standard dinosaur old-school coroner practice after the zombie rising because the blogging coroners saved the world. Perhaps along the lines of "Fuck off. Sorry, I'm cranky because my eyes are sensitive to light so I have to wear these sunglasses. On account of how sensitive to light my eyes are. Ouch, that testing needle stings! Have you heard about 'web logging' or "blogging" as the kids of 2030 call it? I shall explain it to you after I rub my eyes, which are sensitive to light!"

(I am apparently in a minority position in regards to the received quality of Feed, but it's a minority position I'm very comfortable in. Lord, it was dumb.)

... which I remembered because I agreed heartily.
posted by Elsa at 7:43 AM on June 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

Yes! Elsa, thank you!
posted by not that girl at 7:49 AM on June 9, 2012

This is the second or third of these kinds of MetaTalk questions I've posted, and it's astonishing how entirely wrong I always am about where I saw the thing I'm looking for. I thought this was in an Ask book-related thread, but it was actually in a front page post about a movie.
posted by not that girl at 7:51 AM on June 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

My first callout! I didn't prepare at all for any sort of proper flameout, which is embarrassing. Is it too late for a mod to delete the comment, so I can maybe bootstrap into rage over their pro-Feed advocacy bias and fear of dissenting opinion?
posted by Drastic at 10:40 AM on June 9, 2012 [8 favorites]

Oh, so the rest of the book is like that. Glad I put it down and moved on to something else.
posted by eyeballkid at 12:10 PM on June 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yeah, about the testing thing: Grant can never just say, "We cleared the testing at the entrance to the hotel." It always has to be step-by-step with descriptions of the "fingertip sting of the testing needle," and then the lights flashing red and orange before "finally settiling on green," and then details about the way the doors open.

If this is not a setup for the time that someone's indicator lights turn red instead of green, I'm going to be very put out.

Thanks for that great comment, Drastic. Maybe we can have a flame war another time. I added you as a contact, so I'll be watching very closely for an opportunity.
posted by not that girl at 1:05 PM on June 9, 2012

Wait...who is Mira Grant? I thought that whole thread was referencing MT Anderson's dystopian novel Feed.

At least I know now I can resume loving Whales on Stilts.
posted by DU at 6:39 PM on June 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

If it helps, all three books descibe the testing every time, but in book three the character (they are all mostly the same person, a snarky snarker who quips snarkily [probably related to the character who populates all of John Scalzi's books]: and I say this as a big fan of her Toby Daye series, which does the same thing) stops saying "It's too late to turn back now! We must press on and hope we don't die!" or "Hush". Or both.
posted by jeather at 7:21 PM on June 9, 2012

I wrote a little review of the book for my blog. The website URL in my profile goes directly to it (temporarily) if anyone is interested. The post is titled "A Book So Bad That Once You Start Enumerating Its Flaws It's Hard to Stop."
posted by not that girl at 8:02 PM on June 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

I highly recommend HT Anderson's book Feed, as referenced by DU
posted by angrycat at 6:30 AM on June 10, 2012

LEAVE MIRA ALONE.

I'd managed to block the comment out of my mind, and I've been happily reading Blackout, but you've re-reminded me of it.

It appears that my ego is fragile enough that I can have my enjoyment spoiled by well-directed and hilarious snark.

Damn you metafilter!
posted by zoo at 10:41 AM on June 10, 2012 [1 favorite]

For what it's worth, I enjoyed the trilogy in spite of the constant goddamned stinging needles. Even in spite of [not a spoiler] the third book repeatedly informing me that Coke is sweet, sugary, sugary-sweet, tooth-achingly sweet, syrupy, sweet, and did you know Coke is sweet and also needles sting? It sort of becomes a soothing rhythm eventually, and this had to be an editorial decision. Or product placement for the Coke and needle lobbies.

The audiobooks, by the way, are really beautifully produced.
posted by Lyn Never at 6:09 PM on June 10, 2012 [3 favorites]

Lyn Never, sometimes I find myself really liking a book even though I recognize that all the criticisms I hear about it are perfectly correct. Connie Willis' Blackout/All Clear is an example--I read people's complaints about those books and I see that they are entirely correct, and yet I really enjoyed the books.
posted by not that girl at 6:31 AM on June 11, 2012