[+] March 11, 2012 9:53 AM Subscribe
Y'all are so good, I didn't even have to use my question.
This is my chance to thank the community, though it is vaguely nutty. This last week, we lost our epic dog of 15+ years to old age and its subsequent cancer. We've been feeling the biggest Louise (dog's name)-shaped hole in our lives, and I had considered going to askme. Last night, I had a dream I asked about how to address our grief and the gap (especially for our son, who never knew life without her) and I got a response that suggested that this might be a good time for our family to start doing a new activity together to bridge that emptiness previous filled with dogginess. When I woke up, I couldn't remember who the member was with that answer, so I decided to best answer you all! I've either internalized the best intentions of this community, or I am ridiculous, but thank you all the same.
This is my chance to thank the community, though it is vaguely nutty. This last week, we lost our epic dog of 15+ years to old age and its subsequent cancer. We've been feeling the biggest Louise (dog's name)-shaped hole in our lives, and I had considered going to askme. Last night, I had a dream I asked about how to address our grief and the gap (especially for our son, who never knew life without her) and I got a response that suggested that this might be a good time for our family to start doing a new activity together to bridge that emptiness previous filled with dogginess. When I woke up, I couldn't remember who the member was with that answer, so I decided to best answer you all! I've either internalized the best intentions of this community, or I am ridiculous, but thank you all the same.
You are the opposite of ridiculous, and that photo is amazing. Hug hug hug hug hug.
posted by mintcake! at 10:02 AM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by mintcake! at 10:02 AM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
I'm so sorry about your loss. What a sweet girl.
Have you decided upon a new activity yet? That was a good answeryou I came up with ;)
posted by iconomy at 10:02 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
Have you decided upon a new activity yet? That was a good answer
posted by iconomy at 10:02 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
I've had similar situations, rumposinc, where I've contemplated creating an AskMe, only to realize that I already know what responders will say, like I have tapped into the collected wisdom of the community. Askme for the win!
posted by LN at 10:03 AM on March 11, 2012 [14 favorites]
posted by LN at 10:03 AM on March 11, 2012 [14 favorites]
I'm so sorry about your pup, but I'm glad askme was able to help even in sleep!
posted by rtha at 10:14 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by rtha at 10:14 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
I've either internalized the best intentions of this community, or I am ridiculous, but thank you all the same.
Yes! I've never had an AskMeFi dream, but being on this site has enabled me to better answer questions for help from others. I often think to myself "How would (insert fantastic Mefite username) answer this question?" And in strange predicaments I often ask myself "What would the green suggest?"
Your pup was beautiful ! Best to you and your family.
posted by OsoMeaty at 10:20 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
Yes! I've never had an AskMeFi dream, but being on this site has enabled me to better answer questions for help from others. I often think to myself "How would (insert fantastic Mefite username) answer this question?" And in strange predicaments I often ask myself "What would the green suggest?"
Your pup was beautiful ! Best to you and your family.
posted by OsoMeaty at 10:20 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
rumposinc's sleep -- that's we're we're all vikings...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:24 AM on March 11, 2012 [20 favorites]
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:24 AM on March 11, 2012 [20 favorites]
Strangely, I keep dreaming I am posting on Metafilter. Maybe there is an entire dream-site going on....
Sorry for your loss, but glad that Askme can offer some relief.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:36 AM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
Sorry for your loss, but glad that Askme can offer some relief.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:36 AM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
The title of this post is especially awesome.
Sorry to hear about your puppy!
posted by royalsong at 10:42 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
Sorry to hear about your puppy!
posted by royalsong at 10:42 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
rumposinc this is supposed to be a closed beta test, but glad you found it useful. If you find yourself again participating in MetaFilter within the dreamworld please just give me a quick heads up and I'll see to it you have the necessary documentation and feedback tools.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:02 AM on March 11, 2012 [14 favorites]
posted by Meatbomb at 11:02 AM on March 11, 2012 [14 favorites]
Just wanted to thank you for keeping your subconscious so clean. Just spotless. Some people, ugh, you wouldn't believe the mess.
posted by Splunge at 11:31 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Splunge at 11:31 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
Meatbomb is the Sys Admin of Dream
posted by The Whelk at 11:52 AM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 11:52 AM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful dog, and happy you found a way forward.
posted by Mom at 11:53 AM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by Mom at 11:53 AM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
I've either internalized the best intentions of this community, or I am ridiculous
Maybe both! I'm glad it was helpful to you and I'm so sorry about your dog. I often find that modeling the types of answers I'm likely to get to questions in my head can give me an idea of what to do without having to, y'know, ask the actual question.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:57 AM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
Maybe both! I'm glad it was helpful to you and I'm so sorry about your dog. I often find that modeling the types of answers I'm likely to get to questions in my head can give me an idea of what to do without having to, y'know, ask the actual question.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:57 AM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
Sorry for the loss of your pup!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:28 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:28 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'm so sorry about Louise, but glad you got the best answer in your dream...
posted by Cocodrillo at 12:42 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Cocodrillo at 12:42 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
"I call it brown betty."
posted by clavdivs at 12:43 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 12:43 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
MetaFilter: it haunts your dreams
posted by Cranberry at 1:04 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Cranberry at 1:04 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
Beautiful pup. No matter how long they live, it is never enough. So sorry.
posted by Glinn at 1:29 PM on March 11, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by Glinn at 1:29 PM on March 11, 2012 [5 favorites]
Interestingly enough, I have a whole lot of answers rolling around in my head with no questions and I rarely remember my dreams, so if anyone has the questions for these answers, I would appreciate it:
1. I usually say eat it, but I am not so sure in this case.
2. Why dump the guy, he is never home yet keeps paying the bills.
3. I can't answer without knowing what color it is now and what color it was when you first became aware of it.
4. You don't need a lawyer, you need a plumber.
5. I know it is not its usual, normal and typical usage, but I would put it in the microwave.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 1:50 PM on March 11, 2012 [7 favorites]
1. I usually say eat it, but I am not so sure in this case.
2. Why dump the guy, he is never home yet keeps paying the bills.
3. I can't answer without knowing what color it is now and what color it was when you first became aware of it.
4. You don't need a lawyer, you need a plumber.
5. I know it is not its usual, normal and typical usage, but I would put it in the microwave.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 1:50 PM on March 11, 2012 [7 favorites]
I tried sleep.metafilter.com, but all I got was a static page with "You are awake. Please come back when you are asleep."
posted by Nomyte at 2:26 PM on March 11, 2012 [9 favorites]
posted by Nomyte at 2:26 PM on March 11, 2012 [9 favorites]
.
posted by juliapangolin at 3:32 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by juliapangolin at 3:32 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
So sorry about your puppy.
Now I have a mental image of Meatbomb in a red and black striped sweater.
posted by arcticseal at 4:15 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
Now I have a mental image of Meatbomb in a red and black striped sweater.
posted by arcticseal at 4:15 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
That photo is amazing. What a character she must have been! I'm so sorry for your loss.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:59 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:59 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
Thank you everybody for the nice sympathies and for the wit. I'm not sure when I've had such a straightforward sort of dream, so the beta appears to be running super well.
I think we're going to try some urban geocaching--we've noticed caches in some fun urban places on regular walks, and we've done it before as a part of outdoorsy hikes (woods, etc). Satisfies the daily walkies part and gives us a little mission.
posted by rumposinc at 5:11 PM on March 11, 2012
I think we're going to try some urban geocaching--we've noticed caches in some fun urban places on regular walks, and we've done it before as a part of outdoorsy hikes (woods, etc). Satisfies the daily walkies part and gives us a little mission.
posted by rumposinc at 5:11 PM on March 11, 2012
Just to add on to what jessamyn said, I often will play out "dialogues" in my head with, for example, colleagues or friends prior to the actual conversation, to try and predict what topics might arise and how I might respond. I definitely have noticed that, over the past few years, my general 'commenting on a topic' mental dialogue has shifted to include MetaFilter-y themed variables. I've also posed a potential AskMe question in my head, and then reached the answer I needed internally from using that general thematic framework.
In conclusion, your puppy was beautiful, I'm sorry for your loss, you are certainly not ridiculous, and AskMe is a land of contrasts.
posted by lazaruslong at 5:49 PM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
In conclusion, your puppy was beautiful, I'm sorry for your loss, you are certainly not ridiculous, and AskMe is a land of contrasts.
posted by lazaruslong at 5:49 PM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
Also, geocaching? Totally rad idea. Go for it!
posted by lazaruslong at 5:50 PM on March 11, 2012
posted by lazaruslong at 5:50 PM on March 11, 2012
What would metafilter do.
posted by royalsong at 6:43 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by royalsong at 6:43 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
There was a pithy statement going around facebook a while ago saying something like "You are the average of your five closest friends". I like to think that for me at least it's more like four closest friends and a weighted sampling of a couple thousand metafilter users.
I mean that as a good thing.
posted by kiltedtaco at 6:56 PM on March 11, 2012 [6 favorites]
I mean that as a good thing.
posted by kiltedtaco at 6:56 PM on March 11, 2012 [6 favorites]
I do find myself using the "what would Ask MetaFilter say if I asked this question?" framework for questions in my head that I sort of already know the answer to. It's surprisingly efficient, & I haven't had to actually post 9/10ths of my questions in the last 3 or 4 years.
I am sorry about your dog, too. That's tough - hang in there.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:30 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
I am sorry about your dog, too. That's tough - hang in there.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:30 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
AskMe is magic. And all dogs go to heaven. What a beautiful girl she was!
posted by trip and a half at 7:47 PM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by trip and a half at 7:47 PM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]
Last week was the one year anniversary of our 16 years old dog's death. I cried more this week a year ago than I had cried since I was 12, and this year it got a little bit better.
So sorry for the dog, It sucks, then it gets better, and sooner than you think you will find a puppy you just have to take home.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 8:32 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
So sorry for the dog, It sucks, then it gets better, and sooner than you think you will find a puppy you just have to take home.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 8:32 PM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]
Aw, what a sweet-looking pup.
I was 6 when we (parents and I) lost our first dog, a black and white cocker spaniel. He was named Pete, and led me to safety when I was 3 years old and had gone adventuring in the thick, bear-inhabited public forests behind our house without my parents noticing. Pete had watched over me as a baby too, and later on was always sitting in the driveway, wagging his rear end in joy when I came home from school. Every single day, until the day he wasn't there. To this day, I instinctively describe him to people as being "THIS tall", hip height, which on my now-5'11" frame is taller than most Saint Bernards :D That was where my hands fell on his soft head when I was 6 years old.
A new activity does sound great :) I remember having lots of questions about Pete for years after his death, too; he'd been my constant companion for the longest time. Still miss him, still automatically kneel to curious cocker spaniels, with hand out to search for that familiar dimple down the center of their heads and then splay out my fingers to scritch their ears.
Nice dream that you had ^_^
posted by fraula at 8:07 AM on March 12, 2012 [3 favorites]
I was 6 when we (parents and I) lost our first dog, a black and white cocker spaniel. He was named Pete, and led me to safety when I was 3 years old and had gone adventuring in the thick, bear-inhabited public forests behind our house without my parents noticing. Pete had watched over me as a baby too, and later on was always sitting in the driveway, wagging his rear end in joy when I came home from school. Every single day, until the day he wasn't there. To this day, I instinctively describe him to people as being "THIS tall", hip height, which on my now-5'11" frame is taller than most Saint Bernards :D That was where my hands fell on his soft head when I was 6 years old.
A new activity does sound great :) I remember having lots of questions about Pete for years after his death, too; he'd been my constant companion for the longest time. Still miss him, still automatically kneel to curious cocker spaniels, with hand out to search for that familiar dimple down the center of their heads and then splay out my fingers to scritch their ears.
Nice dream that you had ^_^
posted by fraula at 8:07 AM on March 12, 2012 [3 favorites]
I'm glad I'm not the only one who writes fake AskMes in my head and abide by the fake answers, which are possibly more germane than the real answers - though someone always ends up questioning the very premise of my question. Which is then really me questioning my own premise and then I have to lie down for a bit.
posted by sonika at 9:27 AM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by sonika at 9:27 AM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]
I often find that modeling the types of answers I'm likely to get to questions in my head can give me an idea of what to do without having to, y'know, ask the actual question.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who writes fake AskMes in my head and abide by the fake answers
So there really are people that ask themselves: "What would Metafilter do?"
Gosh.
posted by philipy at 11:29 AM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'm glad I'm not the only one who writes fake AskMes in my head and abide by the fake answers
So there really are people that ask themselves: "What would Metafilter do?"
Gosh.
posted by philipy at 11:29 AM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]
I looked at your pup's pic, and starrted crying. At my department staff meeting.
So sooty for your loss.
posted by vitabellosi at 12:03 PM on March 12, 2012 [2 favorites]
So sooty for your loss.
posted by vitabellosi at 12:03 PM on March 12, 2012 [2 favorites]
And by "sooty" I mean, of course "sorry".
posted by vitabellosi at 12:33 PM on March 12, 2012
posted by vitabellosi at 12:33 PM on March 12, 2012
I get all sooty when I look at pictures of old dogs while wearing eyeliner.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 1:55 PM on March 12, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 1:55 PM on March 12, 2012 [2 favorites]
.
I also got help from AskMe without actually asking a few weeks ago*, although in my case it was more of a case of: "I bet others have dealt with this, maybe I should search before asking."
Answer in a dream? Now that's pretty amazing.
* She's doing pretty well, lively and crazy most of the time. Also, I've taken to wearing the bracelet I got from the craft exchange as a reminder of the good people out there in the world.
Dammit. Now I'm getting all choked up.
posted by epersonae at 2:06 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]
I also got help from AskMe without actually asking a few weeks ago*, although in my case it was more of a case of: "I bet others have dealt with this, maybe I should search before asking."
Answer in a dream? Now that's pretty amazing.
* She's doing pretty well, lively and crazy most of the time. Also, I've taken to wearing the bracelet I got from the craft exchange as a reminder of the good people out there in the world.
Dammit. Now I'm getting all choked up.
posted by epersonae at 2:06 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]
The modelling of answers has become a trope in our household during disagreements (my partner is something of a lurker). I'm often stopped in my tracks by the phrase - "you know what Metafilter would say."
posted by Chairboy at 4:55 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Chairboy at 4:55 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]
Last week was the one year anniversary of our 16 years old dog's death. I cried more this week a year ago than I had cried since I was 12, and this year it got a little bit better.
Strangely the year anniversary of my dog's death (at 15) was a few days ago; worst pain of my life. At the time someone told me that the memory of my dog would eventually stop being painful, and remembering him would be happy instead of sad. I couldn't imagine it then, but I can now.
posted by cairdeas at 6:32 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]
Strangely the year anniversary of my dog's death (at 15) was a few days ago; worst pain of my life. At the time someone told me that the memory of my dog would eventually stop being painful, and remembering him would be happy instead of sad. I couldn't imagine it then, but I can now.
posted by cairdeas at 6:32 PM on March 12, 2012 [1 favorite]
I had a cat live from 1969 to 1986 and there were another 14 years between him and my last late cat. I dream about them both from time to time. As well as the one I have now.
15-16 years is a long life for a cat. For a dog, it's a very, very long life and a fact that speaks well for all of you who have kept one for that long. You must have been doing many things right by them.
posted by y2karl at 2:10 PM on March 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
15-16 years is a long life for a cat. For a dog, it's a very, very long life and a fact that speaks well for all of you who have kept one for that long. You must have been doing many things right by them.
posted by y2karl at 2:10 PM on March 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
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posted by curious nu at 10:01 AM on March 11, 2012 [13 favorites]