Next Generation of Moderator February 17, 2012 5:33 AM   Subscribe

So it turns out my 18 month old son has been attending a Junior Metafilter Moderator training course. He surprised us with what he learned yesterday, so I figured I'd add it here in order to make our current (greatest) generation of mods' lives a bit easier.
posted by robocop is bleeding to MetaFilter-Related at 5:33 AM (77 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

Everyone should have to watch this video before posting anything to MeTa.
posted by Aizkolari at 5:40 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Subtitles would be helpful. Is he saying "no bully"?
posted by TooFewShoes at 5:47 AM on February 17, 2012


I think he's saying, "No ... No pony!" What an adorable modlet!
posted by taz (staff) at 5:48 AM on February 17, 2012 [10 favorites]


Pony! No PONY! That makes so much more sense!
posted by TooFewShoes at 5:51 AM on February 17, 2012


Adorable and obviously smart kid who knows to stay away from bronies and their likes.

On preview: OMG this totally explains the incoherent rants about Sesame Street and Teletubbies that I've lately been getting via MefiMail! I THOUGHT IT WAS A CORTEX PROJECT. If this isn't a case of mod abuse I don't know what is. Seriously, who watches the watchtoddlers around here?
posted by Foci for Analysis at 5:52 AM on February 17, 2012


Foci for Analysis: "Adorable and obviously smart kid who knows to stay away from bronies and their likes.

On preview: OMG this totally explains the incoherent rants about Sesame Street and Teletubbies that I've lately been getting via MefiMail! I THOUGHT IT WAS A CORTEX PROJECT. If this isn't a case of mod abuse I don't know what is. Seriously, who watches the watchtoddlers around here
"

Approximately 2%* of this comment makes sense to me. The part about the adorable kid.

* - I mean, I know that they are words, and they are in English, and maybe I'm a bit hungover, but the meaning? WHOOSH. Over my head.
posted by Grither at 6:18 AM on February 17, 2012


I was expecting "You're banned!"
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 6:21 AM on February 17, 2012


Does he ever try to give you a timeout?
posted by rtha at 6:23 AM on February 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


robocop, what is he saying?
posted by Meatbomb at 6:30 AM on February 17, 2012


I asked him if he wanted a pony.

He most definitely did not.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:33 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Soon enough he'll be following you around helpfully erasing any evidence of your less proud moments of fightiness from the time-space continuum while sending you helpful emails to remind you not to do it again and driving your enemies before for you with kindness and common sense.
posted by Blasdelb at 6:38 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Somebody's getting a little bitty banhammer for Christmas!
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:03 AM on February 17, 2012 [3 favorites]


His name is West? Please tell me that the next one's going to be named Howie or Millard.
posted by Madamina at 7:19 AM on February 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


Babyfilter is out of control!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:22 AM on February 17, 2012


He looks like he's trying to wish you into a cornfield, be careful.
posted by cashman at 7:23 AM on February 17, 2012 [5 favorites]


Ask him if he wants a plate of beans. And what he should do with his stuffed animal (DTMFA!).
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:24 AM on February 17, 2012


YOUR CHILD HAS NO AUTHORITY TO DENY ME PONIES.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:25 AM on February 17, 2012 [15 favorites]


I thought he said "No butthead," which is a mod policy I'm totally down with, too.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:31 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


I was kind of hoping that he was going to say "Flag it and move on", which is good advice for life as well as Metafilter.

Also: eeeeeguugummmms! Who's a little mod? Huh? Huh? You are! Yes, you are!
posted by jokeefe at 7:42 AM on February 17, 2012 [3 favorites]


Baby robocop is the spitting image of his Dad!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:52 AM on February 17, 2012


Kid seems like a bit of a loose cannon. I think it's time to introduce him to The Wheel.

Joking. The kid is adorable.
posted by bondcliff at 7:58 AM on February 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'm sorry, but this new generation of mods is way too harsh/strict. I am ready to close my account due to overmoderation.
posted by Eideteker at 8:02 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


START EM YOUNG
posted by wheelieman at 8:09 AM on February 17, 2012


I thought he was saying something about Mel Torme.
posted by aubilenon at 8:22 AM on February 17, 2012 [3 favorites]


This is possibly the first instance I've seen of a kid not wanting a pony.
posted by sonika at 8:23 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


/me throws down glove.

Aaawwwww shit. It's a cute-son-off
posted by Jofus at 8:26 AM on February 17, 2012 [37 favorites]


Nothing beats bubble jumping cuteness!

(And, yes, that is me at about five months pregnant with a sprained ankle....Pregnancy with Rosalie was a lot of fun.....)
posted by zizzle at 8:37 AM on February 17, 2012 [3 favorites]


Don't make me point you people to the About page.
posted by bondcliff at 8:40 AM on February 17, 2012


Babyfilter is out of control!

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE FILTER
posted by permafrost at 8:41 AM on February 17, 2012 [9 favorites]


zizzle, I mean this in the best possible way: your kid looks like Yahoo Serious.
posted by Madamina at 8:51 AM on February 17, 2012


I see your mince pies and raise you one confused baby eats mac n cheese.
posted by sonika at 8:54 AM on February 17, 2012 [3 favorites]


Aaawwwww shit. It's a cute-son-off

Bring it. The Force is strong in this one.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:55 AM on February 17, 2012 [4 favorites]


Jofus, could you BE any more British? It's like, how much more British could this be? And the answer is none. None more British.
posted by Madamina at 8:58 AM on February 17, 2012 [17 favorites]


Baby robocop is the spitting image of his Dad!

Less beardy, thank goodness.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:59 AM on February 17, 2012


Not my kids, but this cracked my shit up.
posted by functionequalsform at 9:02 AM on February 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


Bring it. The Force is strong in this one.

Uncle! UNCLE!!!!!
posted by Jofus at 9:05 AM on February 17, 2012


Man, I could watch Herb struggle with food concepts all freakin' day.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:11 AM on February 17, 2012 [10 favorites]


I was expecting "You're banned!"

Ahh yes, I do love Rule 9.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 9:26 AM on February 17, 2012


It's not a video, and it's pretty old (he's a hairy 12-year-old now) but I cannot resist a food-based cute-off.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:27 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


/me throws down glove.

But that child clearly wanted a pony. A pie pony.

Actually, now that I think of it, I want a pie pony, too (although not a pony pie. Of any sort.)

Piiiiiiieeeeeee!

Piiiiiiieeeeeee!

Giiiiiive usssss piiiiiiieeeeee!!!!
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:29 AM on February 17, 2012


Jofus, your sophisticated expounding of the virtues of pie to your son makes my heart feel funny. In a good way.
posted by WidgetAlley at 9:32 AM on February 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


Adorable babies are adorable!

The macaroni baby could not make a better sound indicating his simultaneous indifference to his current activity coupled with a reluctance to stop performing said activity if he tried- I have made that sound indicating the same emotion many a time!
posted by winna at 9:48 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


You all should be grateful that I had means by which to record macaroni baby watching Herb's pie confusion and trying to help. Your ovaries would all have exploded.

If you'll excuse me, I've got shards of ovary to clean off the walls.
posted by sonika at 10:05 AM on February 17, 2012 [2 favorites]


Awww. He is a helpy young person who seeks to assist his fellow babykind!
posted by winna at 10:07 AM on February 17, 2012


Y'all have slain me with these adorable young persons. I am slain. Slain like a dragon who has been slain.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:24 AM on February 17, 2012 [8 favorites]


Silencing all his life.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:25 AM on February 17, 2012


Doesn't this fall under posting something you had a hand in making?
posted by Eideteker at 10:26 AM on February 17, 2012


Doesn't this fall under posting something you had a hand in making?

If you're using your hand... well... I don't know what to tell you other than "ur doing it rong."

(Unless you're also using a wide-mouth salsa jar and a syringe.)
posted by sonika at 10:30 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Man, I could watch Herb struggle with food concepts all freakin' day.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:11 PM on February 17 [1 favorite +] [!]


Hmn, that looked more like Jofus struggling to speak Herb to me.
posted by thinkpiece at 10:36 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yesterday my kid, upon hearing someone use "My god" in a sentence, responded "God?!? God is dead!"
I'm still trying to figure out what this means for his future career prospects.
posted by Seamus at 11:12 AM on February 17, 2012 [14 favorites]


/me throws down glove.

Aaawwwww shit. It's a cute-son-off.

The combination of the accent and the kid is way too much for me to handle.
posted by kingfishers catch fire at 11:49 AM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


I hope he at least had the courtesy to suggest you write a greasemonkey script.
posted by crunchland at 11:49 AM on February 17, 2012


I was kind of hoping that he was going to say "Flag it and move on", which is good advice for life as well as Metafilter.

I was totally expecting him to tell us to DTMFA.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:50 AM on February 17, 2012


How are you preparing the pony? In my experience, the wee ones much prefer braised pony, as it's more tender, and easier on the digestion. Just a suggestion.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:08 PM on February 17, 2012


Yesterday my kid, upon hearing someone use "My god" in a sentence, responded "God?!? God is dead!"
I'm still trying to figure out what this means for his future career prospects.


I'll hire him in a heartbeat.
posted by maqsarian at 12:14 PM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


how is babby mod?
posted by not_on_display at 1:06 PM on February 17, 2012


Ok, it is now time for me to find a british man with whom I can have a small mince-pie eating child.
posted by bquarters at 1:13 PM on February 17, 2012 [4 favorites]


I too am unable to resist the cute kid food off competition - I see your mac and cheese and raise you sesame noodles! - even though, okay, the baby in this picture is now about 20 years old.
posted by mygothlaundry at 1:16 PM on February 17, 2012 [4 favorites]


ahhh baby knees.

mygothlaundry has destroyed me with pudgy baby knees.
posted by winna at 1:20 PM on February 17, 2012


Oh man, I love mince pies, and I love Herb.
"None of your Mr Kiplings bollocks!" Ha!
posted by goshling at 2:17 PM on February 17, 2012


I cannot resist. Here is our current baby demolishing a blueberry muffin.

And here is our first grader's schoolwork giving examples of food chains (we think he's a pretty funny kid).
posted by flex at 2:30 PM on February 17, 2012 [18 favorites]


Metafilter: sun -> oranges -> person -> grizzly bear.
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:52 PM on February 17, 2012


If you're using your hand... well... I don't know what to tell you other than "ur doing it rong."

That is very disrespectful to cephalopods.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:49 PM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


No pony. Get that boy a horse.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 6:14 PM on February 17, 2012


That is very disrespectful to cephalopods.

My heartfelt apologies! Lord knows I don't want to offend any cephalopods. I mean the utmost respect, oh tentacled friends!

There's an octopus in my coffee cup. That's not a metaphor.
posted by sonika at 6:33 PM on February 17, 2012 [1 favorite]


And here is our first grader's schoolwork giving examples of food chains (we think he's a pretty funny kid).

poisonous berries -> person -> vulture

/dies

Viewing all the videos makes me realize it's a pity that "We need a babysitter"-filter isn't big around here :(
posted by estlin at 6:43 PM on February 17, 2012 [3 favorites]


I have been advised I am unqualified to be a babysitter since I made the argument that a baby could fight off a fox long enough for help to arrive. My friends refuse to acknowledge that one may hold an opinion (which they do not have the charity to admit is wholly flattering to the baby's fighting spirit and prowess in combat) without feeling the slightest urge to test it.

They also neglect to consider that it would be very difficult to find a fox for the purposes of proving my hypothesis.
posted by winna at 9:08 PM on February 17, 2012 [5 favorites]




Not only does your son have one of my favorite names ever, but he is so gorgeous! And then when the taste buds kick off from their delay the faces he makes are so hilarious. You'd think he'd want to stop tasting something that caused such a reaction, but no! He charged ahead with his wee baby grin, a voyager into gustatory lands unknown.

That is a dang cute child you are raising there.
posted by winna at 9:51 PM on February 17, 2012


My son also too does funny and cute things involving food.

Lurve!
posted by hapax_legomenon at 2:22 AM on February 18, 2012


My son also too does funny and cute things involving food.

Oh yes, he does! ((((((((Slarty Bartfest's son))))))))))
posted by bardophile at 4:14 AM on February 18, 2012


My head, heart and ovaries asploded! It's a trifecta!
posted by deborah at 3:33 PM on February 18, 2012


Small Child + Dip = Dipsaster
posted by gomichild at 7:39 PM on February 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


Small Child + Dip = Dipsaster

*dies from cute. again.*
posted by rtha at 10:20 AM on February 19, 2012


This is almost as good as cat pictures.

(Ravi is winning, but only because babies with English accents are clearly cheating.)
posted by maryr at 9:05 PM on February 20, 2012


I say, what a singularly rotten thing to say, what?
posted by Jofus at 4:33 AM on February 21, 2012


Babies with accents are so extra adorable that they belong in a different class.
posted by maryr at 11:49 AM on February 21, 2012


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