FPP assassination

February 14, 2012 6:50 AM

Either I'm missing something or this isn't a double.
posted by griphus to MetaFilter-Related at 6:50 AM (38 comments total)

I just came here to say this. That's a new (and fascinating) article, and it wasn't posted in the original thread.
posted by empath at 6:52 AM on February 14, 2012

You're missing something.
posted by pwally at 6:52 AM on February 14, 2012

Contentysterical.
posted by roll truck roll at 6:54 AM on February 14, 2012 [3 favorites]

Okay, I just skipped forward in the article beyond the first couple of pages, and this seems like it's talking about a new effort by this guy. Undeleting.
posted by taz (staff) at 7:04 AM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE
posted by griphus at 7:05 AM on February 14, 2012 [14 favorites]

I'm missing some bacon.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:05 AM on February 14, 2012

I'm missing good bacon.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:12 AM on February 14, 2012

I always thought that bit from the Gospels would be better if Jesus went into a creepy tomb in Bethany and was attacked by a shambling high-tech monster that shot coherent light-beams from its eyes and mouth, and everybody would run screaming when the fight broke out, and someone passing by would be all "what's the matter" and they'd go "THERE'S A MONSTER FIGHTING JESUS" and the passerby would be like "a monster huh, what's so special about it, what can it do" and they'd all turn to the camera in unison and do jazzhands and shout "LASER US!"
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:17 AM on February 14, 2012 [18 favorites]

(insert trombone here)
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:17 AM on February 14, 2012 [3 favorites]

Darn, I was gonna post this when it appeared in the mag but it was only an abstract online then. I guess they restrict only fresh content. Interesting story.
posted by Miko at 7:40 AM on February 14, 2012

sad trombone
posted by carsonb at 7:40 AM on February 14, 2012

I know you'll miss me blind.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:42 AM on February 14, 2012

It's never too late¹ to add another book to the New Testament. The Gospel Of Cortex is only a matter of time.


1. Not strictly true.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:45 AM on February 14, 2012 [3 favorites]

Sometimes it happens that someone puts a previously link and people assume it's a double. It's pretty amusing in a slapstick kinda way when it happens.

Except when it happened to me... *sniffle* then it was cruel like a fairytale
posted by Kattullus at 7:54 AM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]

And then someone could do a Jeffersonian Gospel of Cortex and remove all the fantastical elements with an X-Acto knife.

I imagine the end result would be pages with giant holes with just proper names, articles, conjunctions, and punctuation remaining.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:01 AM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

Well, proper names can actually be a distraction, taking the attention away from the message, so it might be better to remove them as well, replacing them with the appropriate personal pronoun.
posted by daniel_charms at 8:04 AM on February 14, 2012

Well, proper names can actually be a distraction, taking the attention away from the message, so it might be better to remove them as well, replacing them with the appropriate personal pronoun.

Dunno. I expect his extensive quoting of the Prophet Markov would suffer.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:11 AM on February 14, 2012

I always thought that bit from the Gospels would be better if [...] they'd all turn to the camera

I may have detected a problem.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:29 AM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]

I thought it was a joke on how a post about originality wasn't actually original.

Very deadpan. You had me going there.
posted by inturnaround at 8:33 AM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

The "Had a Post Undeleted" club must be pretty small. There isn't any tracking in the DB for this is there?
posted by Mitheral at 8:37 AM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

Not directly I don't think, though with the admin activity log we could probably figure it out for stuff in the last few years at least by looking for delete records for posts that do not in fact have the delete flag set after all.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:45 AM on February 14, 2012

I was created from the ashes of an undeleted post that had never even been published. Then I shot Jesus with coherent light-beams from my eyes and mouth. Okay - more like incoherent light-beams, I suppose. And it wasn't really Jesus. It was just some dude that cut me off on the I-5. But the history books won't tell it that way.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:17 AM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]

I can remember three undeleted threads. Three.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:20 AM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

there are

three

threads.
posted by The Whelk at 9:21 AM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

ALL THESE THREADS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA
posted by daniel_charms at 9:26 AM on February 14, 2012

And the Mod spake, saying, "First shalt thou submit the Holy Submit Button. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number to be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Post towards the Blue, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:45 AM on February 14, 2012

And then someone could do a Jeffersonian Gospel of Cortex and remove all the fantastical elements with an X-Acto knife.

And then River Tam would go up to Cortex and be all, "I tore these out of your symbol and they turned into paper, but I wanna put them back, so ..."

But by this time, Cortex would have grown all his hair back, and she'd see it and get so freaked out that she'd hide in a hole in the cargo bay wall.
posted by brina at 9:45 AM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

there are

three

threads

on a site. The third thread is in the Green.

*becomes a ninja assassin*
posted by kmz at 10:27 AM on February 14, 2012

(Damnit, apparently I didn't become a tag-closing ninja.)

(Also, didn't even notice until now that the previous comment also has a Whedon reference.)
posted by kmz at 10:28 AM on February 14, 2012

Glad to have it back up, it's a good follow-up article.
posted by Artw at 10:34 AM on February 14, 2012

I always thought that bit from the Gospels would be better if Jesus went into a creepy tomb in Bethany and was attacked by a shambling high-tech monster that shot coherent light-beams from its eyes and mouth, and everybody would run screaming when the fight broke out, and someone passing by would be all "what's the matter" and they'd go "THERE'S A MONSTER FIGHTING JESUS" and the passerby would be like "a monster huh, what's so special about it, what can it do" and they'd all turn to the camera in unison and do jazzhands and shout "LASER US!"

Man, I was just going to say that.
posted by SpacemanStix at 11:21 AM on February 14, 2012

You people and your slight differences disgust me.
posted by killdevil at 4:13 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

I like it when cortex says stuff.
posted by trip and a half at 7:09 PM on February 14, 2012

I'm missing double bacon.
posted by arcticseal at 11:48 PM on February 14, 2012

Hiyoooo!
posted by rhizome at 12:27 AM on February 15, 2012 [1 favorite]

That's a hell of a gape, robo.
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:46 AM on February 15, 2012

I followed cortex's lead of looking for posts with deletion reasons, that weren't deleted. Some are really deleted, not just closed, & many look accidental. Here are the ones that had accompanying Metatalk posts:

Jan 2003: someone committed suicide while chatting on IRC, a "family member" asked mathowie to remove the post, he did and then reconsidered.

Aug 2003: Someone managed to goatse an article we linked to, and once it was fixed mathowie revived it.

Sep 2004: a thin post got closed, then it was found to be staged, so the post was reopened.

Dec 2004: a cryptic post looked lame & got "wtf?!" comments, so it was axed until someone defended it.

Feb 2006: a post was misformatted, then fixed by the mods.

Mar 2006: at first glance, a dupe, but on second glance, enough was added to bring it back.

Mar 2006: a too-NSFW post was defended. Then, "welcome back to the front page, massive cock."

June 2006: Self-link, wiped & rewritten.

Aug 2006: a cryptic puzzle "made no sense," but it was undeleted.

Apr 2007: Boris Yeltsin died, there was a dupe post, both got axed, then resurrected, then one was closed again. This was the Keystone Kops incident.

Sep 2007: a potential self-link was canned, then brought back.

Feb 2012: This thread.
posted by Pronoiac at 1:17 AM on February 21, 2012 [2 favorites]

I've wikified the list of undeleted threads, with a couple more threads.
posted by Pronoiac at 9:31 PM on March 5, 2012 [2 favorites]