outgoing message masterpiece? January 4, 2010 3:56 AM Subscribe
A Metafilter Music Challenge for anyone and everyone...
As some of you may know, over at Metafilter Music we have a monthly Music Challenge, wherein Mefi musicians are given specific suggestions/guidelines for a piece of music which we hope they'll submit. The Challenges generally require some level of musical ability (to one extent or another), but it so happens that this month's Challenge is one that anybody, musician or no, will be able to work with. It's about outgoing answering machine messages. As in, make one. And post it on Metafilter Music. It can include music, but it doesn't have to. You could sing it, and/or play an instrument on it, but, you don't have to.
So, check out the details at the Challenge page. We await your outgoing message masterpiece.
As some of you may know, over at Metafilter Music we have a monthly Music Challenge, wherein Mefi musicians are given specific suggestions/guidelines for a piece of music which we hope they'll submit. The Challenges generally require some level of musical ability (to one extent or another), but it so happens that this month's Challenge is one that anybody, musician or no, will be able to work with. It's about outgoing answering machine messages. As in, make one. And post it on Metafilter Music. It can include music, but it doesn't have to. You could sing it, and/or play an instrument on it, but, you don't have to.
So, check out the details at the Challenge page. We await your outgoing message masterpiece.
Meanwhile AskMe has a related challenge: Find someone who actually still does have an answering machine. (Subchallenge: That they leave more than "Hi, this is 555-WXYZ. Leave a message." on.)
posted by DU at 5:11 AM on January 4, 2010
posted by DU at 5:11 AM on January 4, 2010
Cool, Brandon. Now, if you can just put that in audio form, and deliver it to Metafilter Music...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:48 AM on January 4, 2010
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:48 AM on January 4, 2010
I have an answering machine. Yes, an answering machine in racist Australia.
posted by Wolof at 5:56 AM on January 4, 2010
posted by Wolof at 5:56 AM on January 4, 2010
Never understood why all those millions of people who argue about the dangers of cloud and centralized computing, and how terrible and unreliable phone companies are, think nothing of leaving all their important messages to voicemail, something which is more or less a convergence of both ideas.
Two working, and used by callers, answering machines here. I know others with them, so it's not all that rare. What is bad are those who still use tape.
posted by mdevore at 5:58 AM on January 4, 2010
Two working, and used by callers, answering machines here. I know others with them, so it's not all that rare. What is bad are those who still use tape.
posted by mdevore at 5:58 AM on January 4, 2010
Can it be a phone voicemail message? Same thing right?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:05 AM on January 4, 2010
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:05 AM on January 4, 2010
Yes, an answering machine in racist Australia.
Clearly, Wolof, you should submit an outgoing message full of ranting, racist diatribes. What fun!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:06 AM on January 4, 2010
Clearly, Wolof, you should submit an outgoing message full of ranting, racist diatribes. What fun!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:06 AM on January 4, 2010
Can it be a phone voicemail message? Same thing right?
Abso-effin-lutely!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:07 AM on January 4, 2010
Abso-effin-lutely!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:07 AM on January 4, 2010
Now, if you can just put that in audio form, and deliver it to Metafilter Music
TELEPATHIST!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:29 AM on January 4, 2010
TELEPATHIST!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:29 AM on January 4, 2010
This will be fun! I can't wait to find out if NPR gets wind of it before the month is up. Someone comp Carl an account!
What is bad are those who still use tape.
Man, I miss my tape answering machine. There just isn't a good way to get custom messages onto the phone or digital machines. Also, it sucks to get messages off.
I had a whole 30 minute tape that consisted of nothing but my bookstore boss calling me into work on my days off. "Juanita broke her foot, anyway you can work for her?" "They arrested Chris and Bob for shoplifting, so can you work their hours?" "I hate to do this to you...." Any calls from him I kept, any for other people I deleted. When he left I gave him the tape as a going away present (I'd actually started on side two).
posted by cjorgensen at 7:35 AM on January 4, 2010 [4 favorites]
What is bad are those who still use tape.
Man, I miss my tape answering machine. There just isn't a good way to get custom messages onto the phone or digital machines. Also, it sucks to get messages off.
I had a whole 30 minute tape that consisted of nothing but my bookstore boss calling me into work on my days off. "Juanita broke her foot, anyway you can work for her?" "They arrested Chris and Bob for shoplifting, so can you work their hours?" "I hate to do this to you...." Any calls from him I kept, any for other people I deleted. When he left I gave him the tape as a going away present (I'd actually started on side two).
posted by cjorgensen at 7:35 AM on January 4, 2010 [4 favorites]
Someone comp Carl an account! (cjorgensen)
I was totally thinking the same thing.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:54 AM on January 4, 2010
I was totally thinking the same thing.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:54 AM on January 4, 2010
Someone comp Carl an account!
I was thinking this too!
The NPR website has a sampling of messages he's recorded over the years. Some of them are hilarious. :)
posted by zarq at 8:06 AM on January 4, 2010
I was thinking this too!
The NPR website has a sampling of messages he's recorded over the years. Some of them are hilarious. :)
posted by zarq at 8:06 AM on January 4, 2010
What the fuck is an answering machine?
posted by sambosambo at 8:21 AM on January 4, 2010
posted by sambosambo at 8:21 AM on January 4, 2010
Aw, man -- when I was in music school in like 1990 I had a bunch of friends who'd get together and record cheesy outgoing message-songs for our phones in the dorm, but I didn't save any of the tapes! (One of the ones we did for my phone was an a capella three-part harmony version of the Chiffons' "One Fine Day," but the lyrics were "Hi, it's me-ee/I'm not at home/but if you leave a message/at the tone, I'll/call you ba-ack/I'll call you back when I get home!" So dorky!)
posted by mothershock at 8:27 AM on January 4, 2010
posted by mothershock at 8:27 AM on January 4, 2010
"You are listening to my neighbors answering machine. My neighbor cannot answer the phone at the moment, he's next door."
posted by DreamerFi at 9:02 AM on January 4, 2010
posted by DreamerFi at 9:02 AM on January 4, 2010
My answering machine goes like this:
"Hi! You've reached Dome 2. For Matt, press one, [kaibutsu] two, Nancy three. BEEP!"
But there actually isn't any kind of system for pressing buttons; most of our messages start with someone hitting a button and then waiting confusedly for a beep that never comes, and eventually just talking. It's a good way to get candid moments of people not knowing what's happening on tape.
Also, Matt moved out two years ago, and Nancy was a pet black widow (named for Nancy Reagan) who was eventually released into the wild, along with her 2,500 young. So it's approaching the status of a purely useless message.
When I lived in Budapest with another friend, we found an old answering machine that had a couple high-pitched girls on the answering machine. We recorded the message into a computer, then added our two very male voices where the names went, and recorded it back into the (rather janky) answering machine. So it went like this:
"hsssssss...Hi! *giggle giggle* This is _TOM AND JEFF_. Leave us a message! *giggle* BEEEP!"
posted by kaibutsu at 9:13 AM on January 4, 2010
"Hi! You've reached Dome 2. For Matt, press one, [kaibutsu] two, Nancy three. BEEP!"
But there actually isn't any kind of system for pressing buttons; most of our messages start with someone hitting a button and then waiting confusedly for a beep that never comes, and eventually just talking. It's a good way to get candid moments of people not knowing what's happening on tape.
Also, Matt moved out two years ago, and Nancy was a pet black widow (named for Nancy Reagan) who was eventually released into the wild, along with her 2,500 young. So it's approaching the status of a purely useless message.
When I lived in Budapest with another friend, we found an old answering machine that had a couple high-pitched girls on the answering machine. We recorded the message into a computer, then added our two very male voices where the names went, and recorded it back into the (rather janky) answering machine. So it went like this:
"hsssssss...Hi! *giggle giggle* This is _TOM AND JEFF_. Leave us a message! *giggle* BEEEP!"
posted by kaibutsu at 9:13 AM on January 4, 2010
Years ago I recorded an answering machine greeting adaptation of 867-5309 for my mother-in-law. I may need to revisit that.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:17 AM on January 4, 2010
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:17 AM on January 4, 2010
From 'Out to Lunch' (C. Clempson - G. Bell) Jack Bruce, vocal and bass:
This is a recording
Cause I'm not at home
Just leave your name and number
At the sound of the tone
I'll call you back later
Just as soon as I get in
And thanks a lot for calling
But for the time bein'
I'm out to lunch
Gone for days
I'm out to lunch
I'm miles away
I'm out to lunch
My answer phones on
I'm out to lunch
I'm already gone
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 11:45 AM on January 4, 2010
This is a recording
Cause I'm not at home
Just leave your name and number
At the sound of the tone
I'll call you back later
Just as soon as I get in
And thanks a lot for calling
But for the time bein'
I'm out to lunch
Gone for days
I'm out to lunch
I'm miles away
I'm out to lunch
My answer phones on
I'm out to lunch
I'm already gone
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 11:45 AM on January 4, 2010
"Hi! You've reached Dome 2. For Matt, press one, [kaibutsu] two, Nancy three. BEEP!"
You live in Davis?
posted by special-k at 12:39 PM on January 4, 2010
You live in Davis?
posted by special-k at 12:39 PM on January 4, 2010
Back in college I regularly changed the message on my tape based answering machine. I generally had found audio and sound effects. At one point I had some random Meat Beat Manifesto audio as the message. Some old guy got a wrong number and left me this matter of fact drawled message, "I don't know what's goin' on in this world. Good day." I immediately made that my new outgoing message.
posted by Babblesort at 2:39 PM on January 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Babblesort at 2:39 PM on January 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Years ago I recorded an answering machine greeting adaptation of 867-5309
Well, you can't go wrong with lyrics like that. That's one poetic series of numbers. And that 9 at the end: what a hook!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:12 PM on January 4, 2010
Well, you can't go wrong with lyrics like that. That's one poetic series of numbers. And that 9 at the end: what a hook!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:12 PM on January 4, 2010
Jello Biafra has an answering machine. He uses it to screen incoming calls. He says he has no mobile phone or e-mail, so he's not the easiest guy to get in touch with, but I remember his answering machine message a few years ago was pretty straight-forward. For some reason I was expecting to hear insane cackling, or "We interrupt this program with a special bulletin: America is now under martial law. All constitutional rights have been suspended. Stay in your homes ..."
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:26 AM on January 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:26 AM on January 5, 2010 [1 favorite]
When I had a tape-based answering machine, I made about 10 or 12 creative messages, and put a lot of time, thought, and effort into them. My personal favorite was a mash-up of howling wolves (from a Wendy Carlos album) and my own voice, but very 'flat' proclaiming that it was the 'dog days, so let's get Sirius'. It was August.
I had people I didn't know calling, leaving messages and saying "my friend told me about this and I had to call!". Sigh. Can't do this without tape, really, I'm just not savvy enough with newer technology.
posted by dbmcd at 10:21 AM on January 5, 2010
I had people I didn't know calling, leaving messages and saying "my friend told me about this and I had to call!". Sigh. Can't do this without tape, really, I'm just not savvy enough with newer technology.
posted by dbmcd at 10:21 AM on January 5, 2010
A friend of mine in college was an opera major. He once had a great "opera in-joke" answering machine message. He had Strauss's "Elektra" playing in the background as he spoke the usual "leave a message" spiel. Just as he finished you heard Elektra sing out "AGAMEMNON!" in that bone-chilling sort of almost-atonal way, to which my friend then answered "coming, dear..."
My friend's voice teacher thought it was so funny she was giving his number out to her friends all over the country to call in and hear it.
posted by dnash at 12:46 PM on January 5, 2010
My friend's voice teacher thought it was so funny she was giving his number out to her friends all over the country to call in and hear it.
posted by dnash at 12:46 PM on January 5, 2010
I've been Delayed. bonus message: I am truly fully licensed hairstylist
posted by ardgedee at 4:30 PM on January 5, 2010
posted by ardgedee at 4:30 PM on January 5, 2010
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posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:02 AM on January 4, 2010 [1 favorite]