When the cat's away the mice will SPAM. April 28, 2008 4:11 AM   Subscribe

Can we please have an automatic deletion and/or penalty box for posts that get flagged for breaking guidelines by many users at times when no mod is online?

I'm thinking of the Spammer that posted at 1:30 AM this morning, and how much I want him to be trampled to death by a pony. I know any automagic deletion system could potentially be gamed to censor worthy threads, but presumably a system could be set up where the mods could override any deletion in a fairly timely fashion. Plus any clickthrough on SPAM is too much in my opinion.
posted by BrotherCaine to Feature Requests at 4:11 AM (110 comments total)

Or simply find a mod who lives in the UK... this post showed up at 9:30am for me.

But yeah, nice idea.
posted by jon4009 at 4:20 AM on April 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


could work, i guess, but there have been some good post that have been flagged a lot, i'm sure. any sufficiently controversial and popular post will generate a large amount of flags. matt's already said he's strictly against comment moderation and i see as +10/-10 FPP flags as a slippery slope.

i think they just need a mod in another timezone. i'm sure many australians and new zealanders would jump at the opportunity. i'd put my hand up for it.
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 4:20 AM on April 28, 2008


I think Matt should deputize a couple of people with the power only to delete obvious spam posts while the other mods are asleep. This would eliminate this problem without diluting the moderator esprit de corps and consistency. Comment deletion, editing, banning, etc. can all wait until morning, but I think it's too unfortunate that the people who break the one big rule here can be rewarded for it by gaming the system at the right time.
posted by grouse at 4:25 AM on April 28, 2008


The thread in question is an obvious self-link, as well as being crap. And though, like most MeFites in Europe, my 'day' starts in the middle of the 'night,' I can live without crap like this until my 'night' - when a mod could rectify an erroneous 'auto'-delete.
posted by From Bklyn at 4:25 AM on April 28, 2008


If we have a penalty box, we also need a MetaFilter Goon Squad to mock whomever gets sent there. TO THE BOX (5x), LOSER!
posted by sciurus at 4:28 AM on April 28, 2008


There's a single spam post on the front page that will shortly be removed, and its poster banned, and in the meantime, the thread is generating a moderately amusing 120+ comment thread.

I am struggling to see the problem.
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 4:28 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yes, we need a mod in a different time zone from the triumverate. The question is: Will we get one? and if not, why not?
posted by adamvasco at 4:32 AM on April 28, 2008


well, if a self-link is up for a significant amount of time it may encourage others. a lot of people lately seem to view their $5 as pretty cheap for pageviews. I dunno how many people will actually click the link, probably not many, but any is too much. It's like spam emails - if no one fell for them, they wouldn't be sent out. But people do, and if someone gets a couple hundred page views from their membership fee then why not?

I don't want to sound like i'm raggin on the mods here, because I'm not, I'm just saying that amusing or no, spam needs to go ASAP, and I don't think the auto-deletion is a good idea.

A while ago I thought it might be good to have a sort of "holding pen" for FP posts by people with the 3 comment minimum, but i'm not sure that's a good idea. I don't like the idea of flagging become more obvious, i think it's a good system. One of the reasons I like metafilter so much, and I'm sure i'm not alone, is that all the moderation is behind the scenes. The front page doesn't look like a constant "Work in progress!"

I mean, that's just an aesthetic thing but there are other reasons I think this is a bad idea. I just say get another couple of mods or perhaps a couple of "demi-mods"
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 4:35 AM on April 28, 2008


Technical solutions to social problems aren't always a good idea. And what you're asking for would so easy to game, it would probably invite more of this fuckwits, just so they can say they did it.

And while spammers suck, this particular post needs a person to sign up for the list, so there's really not much harm going on in this instance.

and Matt, I get up early in the morning unlike that other mod in my timezone who sleeps late all the time. Just a hint if they give you ANY trouble.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:37 AM on April 28, 2008


I think the problem may be in paying a mod outside the U.S. when the American Dollar is currently something like 37 to the Euro and shrinking fast. In a previous MeTa on the subject I nominated hadjiboy for the job, since he is rapidly approaching the same kind of Beloved MeFite status that cortex had before he went pro and ruined everything. Anyway, I'm in the same time zone as mathowie and friends yet I am awake now (but then, I NEED to sleep through all 4 hours of the Today Show), although less awake than a few minutes ago; I really want to be up when the Reason for Deletion is posted (and it had better be entertaining), but yyaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnn
posted by wendell at 4:45 AM on April 28, 2008


Personally I'm quite amused by the online lynching of said thread - it's got everything you'd want from an angry online crowd surrounding a spammer. If this were 16th Century America we'd be throwing up some fairly elaborately carved pyres, building nearby stalls selling "I Saw Room Get Burned At The Stake" badges and flags and T-shirts, and a large crowd of voyeurs grumbling loudly about the tardiness of the priest and the executioner. :D
posted by WalterMitty at 4:48 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


A hypothesis: MeFites, being creatures of the internet, still need to shit all over threads, but MeFi being what it is, it is generally not acceptable to shit on legit threads. When there is a bad thread (like the one in question, here), MeFites take the opportunity to dump all the shit they've been storing up inside onto said thread, confident it will soon be flushed away into the oblivion of deletedthreads.blogspot.com.

Perhaps spam threads serve a useful cleansing/ purging function for MeFites!
posted by WalterMitty at 4:54 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Isn't this kind of a non problem? Johnny Spam gets nothing but bad Google-Juice for his efforts, and the plebs get to shout from the balcony?

I suppose it depends on how annoying Mattamyex finds the noise the thread generates.
posted by Jofus at 4:54 AM on April 28, 2008


Not half as annoying as the word "Mattamyex."
posted by Dave Faris at 5:01 AM on April 28, 2008


Put me in the "spam is annoying but not annoying enough to warrant radical changes to current operating procedures" camp.

Besides, that thread is fun.
posted by Kattullus at 5:10 AM on April 28, 2008


Not half as annoying as the word "Mattamyex."

Well, given that that's the first time I've ever seen that particular rendition, you get to be the lucky recipient of 100% of my Internet Ire.

*projects ire*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:11 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Mattamynex

Yeah. I should also have added that the word "plebs" above is self-applied.

I am fucking base.

Also, Dave, you're such a grouch. Come here, give us a kiss.
posted by Jofus at 5:14 AM on April 28, 2008


Here it is: (from the thread in question)

Ok how's this for a feature request, if the mods aren't present and an FPP gets flagged as "Spam" or "self-link" enough, how about an automatic script that turns on IMG tag for that FPP? If posts like this slip through the cracks, let's have some fun with it at least.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 4:54 AM on April 28 [-] [!]

posted by From Bklyn at 5:26 AM on April 28, 2008


Oh, wait, I see Jofus used it too. You can now receive 50% each of my ire. I've got heaps of it to go 'round!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:32 AM on April 28, 2008


Coined it, Stav. Coined it. Now you've attracted my ire.

I need a Venn diagram to keep track of all the ire around here.
posted by Jofus at 5:35 AM on April 28, 2008


I quite like the idea of putting all FPPs from new users in an approval queue, at least until they'd posted a few successfully. (5, maybe?) Hardly anything on MeFi is time-sensitive, so it's not like the delay will bother anyone particularly much.

Cormathyn might like a 'whitelist' function, where if a post impresses them enough, they can pre-clear a poster to pass the approval queue in future.
posted by Malor at 5:41 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


but presumably a system could be set up where the mods could override any deletion in a fairly timely fashion.

Wouldn't that have the same problem you're complaining about in the first place? That timely isn't timely enough for you?
posted by smackfu at 5:43 AM on April 28, 2008


i have a cunning solution, visit my personal website for free information at no charge! this is an exclusive, time limited offer! ACT NOW!
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 5:44 AM on April 28, 2008


I know he doesn't really want the job, but still.. I nominate bugbread. Tokyo's own bugbread. He would be the kickass Asian timezone mod.

Or... how 'bout stav?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:47 AM on April 28, 2008


Seconding the new users approval queue. Although it does mean extra work for cormatt jesstexahowynie, it would block the laziest spammers.
posted by googly at 5:56 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


It's finally gone! If only I'd hit post sooner I really would have had the last post!

Oh well.
posted by delmoi at 5:58 AM on April 28, 2008


jessamyn is the winnah! congrats!
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 6:00 AM on April 28, 2008


Good morning, Jessamyn!
posted by JanetLand at 6:00 AM on April 28, 2008


oh, for christ's sake
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:01 AM on April 28, 2008


Congratulations are in order to zeoslap for not only having the last comment, but the perfect last comment.
posted by Kattullus at 6:01 AM on April 28, 2008


You're projecting, Stavros.

Also, every time I read your name there's a phantom scent of chicken kebab. OM NOM NOM!
posted by Mister_A at 6:02 AM on April 28, 2008


Wouldn't that have the same problem you're complaining about in the first place? That timely isn't timely enough for you?

I guess my issue with the timeliness of SPAM removal is whether SPAM is like graffiti. Does leaving it up attract more until everything bogs down? I really don't have that much problem flagging and moving on with these posts, but I'm not the one who has to clean them up. I'd be sad if deleting threads / banning users became so distracting that the Mathowie, Jessamyn & Cortex started seeing this site more as a brutal job of shit shoveling than as a community.

I'm not going to complain about the timeliness of deletion reversals, I concede the point that others would.
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:06 AM on April 28, 2008


Oh for fuck's sake, that post!

Basically where we're at right now is we have a few people who we think could be an antipodal MeFiFirePerson for crap like this who would have access to some sort of really simple admin panel that could

- close a thread
- delete a comment
- I'm not sure what else

The user who posted that winner from this morning has actually been a user since 2005 and never been flagged before for anything (and, to be fair, didn't use the site much). We have a bunch of procedures in place generally for this not to be happening -- all first posts get emailed to us, we can "watch" suspicious users when they sign up before they even have a chance to post/comment (based on paypal or other sketch info -- and really there are only about four hours between when the last one of us goes to sleep (today, me) and the first one of us wakes up (likewise).

Automodding seems generally speaking like a bad idea, but having someone who could check the site once or twice in the middle of US nighttime would not be a bad idea.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:06 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


But I was promised a free album! And I read the post ALL DAY!

For shame, mods.. For shame..

Seriously though, it Didn't seem like a big enough deal to get riled up about.
posted by Lord_Pall at 6:09 AM on April 28, 2008


I think Matt should deputize a couple of people with the power only to delete obvious spam posts while the other mods are asleep.

I was under the impression that this was already the case...? jessamyn, can you confirm or deny?
posted by carsonb at 6:09 AM on April 28, 2008


Thanks, it's ok by me if you close this thread.
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:10 AM on April 28, 2008


The Preview Button, kids. Use it.
posted by carsonb at 6:10 AM on April 28, 2008


...having someone who could check the site once or twice in the middle of US nighttime would not be a bad idea.

cough*bugbread*cough
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:10 AM on April 28, 2008


Room is self-linking from at least one of his other posts.
posted by ardgedee at 6:11 AM on April 28, 2008


I really think that grouse's idea is good. Find someone trustworthy who's likely to be onsite when the present mods are asleep and give them the power of deletion but not bannination. Maybe they could even be notified somehow when a post is flagged as spam enough times. Maybe not. Whatever.

WalterMitty: Perhaps spam threadsMetaTalk serves a useful cleansing/ purging function for MeFites!

On preview: oh, never mind. Good morning, Jessamyn.
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 6:11 AM on April 28, 2008


I quite like the idea of putting all FPPs from new users in an approval queue, at least until they'd posted a few successfully.

That's so easy to game it's not even funny and it'll breed a smarter spammer, one who calculates, plays nice and then shits, causing an even greater mess. We don't need to become a breeding lab for smarter spammers.

Another mod for the US midnight shift would be nice and it'll probably happen eventually, but I don't think it's as critical as this post deems it.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:12 AM on April 28, 2008


Cortex can come sleep on my couch. I promise to take real good care of him and not get him drunk and draw on him then post flickr links to MeTa or anything.
posted by GooseOnTheLoose at 6:13 AM on April 28, 2008


If you don't get him drunk and draw on cortex, GooseOnTheLoose, then what's the point of having him sleep on your couch? That would be like making a vodka martini only to throw it at a proctor.
posted by Kattullus at 6:20 AM on April 28, 2008


This sort of thing rarely, if ever happens. I kind of wonder why folks are taking this opportunity to turn this into some sort of demand for moral reflection on the part of the MetaFilter admins.
posted by KokuRyu at 6:23 AM on April 28, 2008


Good morning, Jessamyn.

Is it? It is.

jessamyn, can you confirm or deny?

We've talked about it and built something prelim and talked to some people, but I wasn't sure if anything was actually enacted, switch flipped, that sort of thing. So, I'm guessing no.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:26 AM on April 28, 2008


Nah, it was fun while it lasted. Given that spam is usually shut down faster than Greedo while collecting a bounty, any particularly drastic change like automodding isn't really necessary, is it? If it isn't too broke, why bother fixing it?
posted by WalterMitty at 6:28 AM on April 28, 2008


bugbread.
posted by popechunk at 6:30 AM on April 28, 2008


Ladies and gentlemen, room has left the building.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:38 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Or simply find a mod who lives in the UK

I nominate chrismear.
posted by terrapin at 6:39 AM on April 28, 2008


In the spirit of "Sneakers", "Hackers", and "Every stupid movie about security breaches", I say we need to enlist those who have broken through our extensive defense perimeter to be the midnight mods. To beat the self-linker you must think like a self linker.

Room got an ugly self-link posted for several hours - clearly, he and Holden Kronofsky should be given mod privileges, poste haste!

MAKE IT SO!
posted by dirtdirt at 6:39 AM on April 28, 2008


If I were voting it would be for the status quo (ie. no more mods) excepting that new users' first posts go in a queue. I disagree with Brandon Blatcher - any spammer that got past the mod's quick scan would get sussed out by the members. And if they are really good at crafting the post so it's undetectable as spam then they were going to get a post up on the front page anyway and there is no real defense to that.
posted by peacay at 6:43 AM on April 28, 2008


I wonder how many flags did this post get? Eleven comments + twice as many flags? Three times as many? Half as many? Flags vs Comments. This could be neat in a graph. posted by dabitch

I'm also curious about this.


Corteeeeeeex.
posted by Memo at 6:46 AM on April 28, 2008


any spammer that got past the mod's quick scan would get sussed out by the members.

I think Brandon Blatcher is imagining spammers who "make nice" first—they put together a decent post for their first go, lulling our mods, the MeFi Junior Detective Squad, and all and sundry Masters of the Obvious into a sense of security, then dump a load of steaming shit on the front page next go-round. Of course, any spammer mind-y enough to do that has probably already been doing it for the past three years or so.
posted by carsonb at 6:51 AM on April 28, 2008


If it weren't for that post, I would have never seen the Nigerian Monty Python Sketch!

And now I'm picturing some mad scientist MeFi's standing around a lab filled with caged spammers, taking notes and breeding them for smarts. Which spammers should be paired with which to make the smartest?
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:52 AM on April 28, 2008


I nominate room.
posted by Kwine at 6:56 AM on April 28, 2008


I think Matt should deputize a couple of people with the power
You Americans, always looking for a sheriff. The law isn't enough, you need judgement 'for christ's sake' (so much better than that Japanese stuff).
posted by tellurian at 6:57 AM on April 28, 2008


I think there should be a threshold on the number of flags a post receives before it gets auto-deleted. And that number should be published on the wiki, so that I can know how many sock puppets to buy when I want a post deleted. My reign of terror will know no bounds.

Further details will be available in my eBook, for a limited time at: [link deleted]
posted by blue_beetle at 7:00 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Another vote for a mod in a different time zone. On another US-based forum site, we had "emergency mods" in Scotland and Australia, and it worked out really well. I'd nominate hadjiboy for his even-tempered style, essexjan for her compassion, and UbuRoivas for... well maybe that's not such a good idea. ;)
posted by desjardins at 7:16 AM on April 28, 2008


I nominate chrismear.

Doesn't everyone?
posted by cillit bang at 7:33 AM on April 28, 2008


I wonder if it might be useful or feasible to create "hide this thread till the mods wake up" functionality to be triggered by x number of flags or some sort of junior moderator person in a different time zone. This would let the mods delete or unfreeze the question in due time as appropriate.
posted by judith at 7:34 AM on April 28, 2008


Mattamynex

So much gibberish. I prefer JessaCorMax.

Suggests to me an efficient moderating machine that will MESS. YOU. UP. if you do something stupid. Oh, and To The MAX.

Though it does favor Jess a little, and it gives Matt short shrift, but that's the breaks, right?
posted by SlyBevel at 7:35 AM on April 28, 2008


MaxiumCorJess
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:37 AM on April 28, 2008


JessaCorMax

Sounds like a pimple cream.
posted by jonmc at 7:54 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Jecoma.
posted by dirtdirt at 7:59 AM on April 28, 2008


I wonder how many flags did this post get? Eleven comments + twice as many flags? Three times as many? Half as many? Flags vs Comments. This could be neat in a graph.

Yeah, there's a great big potential Some Day project along the lines of how flagging correlates to administrative action that I'd love to undertake sometime when I don't have any other projects going on. It'd be complicated to do it right the way I'd like to do it, though; if I get a minute, I might play with just a simpler little flags-vs-deletion chart of some sort.

I think the rate-of-flags view is probably one of the most interesting angles—how many flags per hour (prorated) does a post get, counting total flags vs (time of deletion - time of posting)? And what does the flag curve look like? Big bump then a tail? Fairly steady? How does a Metatalk post affect it? Etc.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:59 AM on April 28, 2008


Sounds like a pimple cream.

Well that's just good branding, isn't it?
posted by SlyBevel at 8:00 AM on April 28, 2008


Jecoma.

Maybe "cojema", chanted low and steadily as if in Portuguese from the mouths of the deranged villagers of Resident Evil 4, as they close one shambling step at a time on us. And then: out comes Mister Shotgun.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:07 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


"Nite Hammer Sows Exact Joy" is an anagram for "mathowie cortex jessamyn".
posted by Kwantsar at 8:11 AM on April 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


Jessowietex -- the bandaid raincoat. Condoms for safe Metafiltering.
posted by netbros at 8:21 AM on April 28, 2008


how many flags per hour (prorated) does a post get

Wouldn't that vary, based on the timezone?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:25 AM on April 28, 2008


having someone who could check the site once or twice in the middle of US nighttime would not be a bad idea.

If said person wants the keys to this account I will gladly hand them over.
posted by Midnight Mod at 8:32 AM on April 28, 2008


So is "Jot the Sexy Amnesiac Worm".

This means something!!!
posted by yhbc at 8:34 AM on April 28, 2008


"I wonder if it might be useful or feasible to create 'hide this thread till the mods wake up' functionality to be triggered by x number of flags ... "

That's kind of the thing I was envisioning, too. No auto-delete, but "invisibility mode" until Jessamyn wakes up (since our other two admins are slugabeds).
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:35 AM on April 28, 2008


Majessatex, if you please...
posted by Mister_A at 8:38 AM on April 28, 2008


Do not want.
posted by Artw at 8:41 AM on April 28, 2008


cojema

This is great, though I was thinking less cultish chant, and more frantic city-dweller pointing at the smashed, burning skyline and screaming "Cojema!" in a sort of Gojira style.
posted by quin at 8:42 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Ooh, yeah, chrismear is a good choice.
posted by TheDonF at 8:47 AM on April 28, 2008


I like Onion's audio headline today:

Researchers discover massive asshole in blogosphere

That is all.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:47 AM on April 28, 2008


I propose that deletion reasons by any eventual midnight cowboy must be selected from this list.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:53 AM on April 28, 2008


THE NIGHT WATCHMAN

I picture a unshaven man in a long coat with a black flashlight prowling the halls of MeFi late into the night
posted by Viomeda at 9:02 AM on April 28, 2008


Oh dear, the barbarians are sacking Room again
posted by davemee at 9:05 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Jecoma

sounds like ass cancer.
posted by quonsar at 9:29 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I nominate Quonsar as Midnight Cowboy.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:30 AM on April 28, 2008


The good thing about being the night watchman is that you can spend the vast bulk of your time idly masturbating to Internet pornography.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:30 AM on April 28, 2008


Maybe "cojema", chanted low and steadily as if in Portuguese from the mouths of the deranged villagers of Resident Evil 4, as they close one shambling step at a time on us. And then: out comes Mister Shotgun.

Time for a little vacation from the mob?
posted by timeistight at 9:34 AM on April 28, 2008


I'm waiting until I get to 1500 comments before I spam the front page.
posted by Justinian at 9:39 AM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


essexjan.

Hands down the best set of judgement in Blighty.
posted by By The Grace of God at 10:16 AM on April 28, 2008


Getting someone in Australia (or similar longitude) as well would give you excellent coverage.
posted by Artw at 10:17 AM on April 28, 2008


The original link is still in the post. Shouldn't it be changed to example.com or something?

I think taz would be a good midnight mod.
posted by deborah at 10:46 AM on April 28, 2008


btw I had fun with you guys in that thread before it was closed.

I'm under the impression that mefi was less serious in the olden days. More harmless absurd fun.

Was that really the case or is it just my imagination?
posted by jouke at 11:49 AM on April 28, 2008


I think taz would be a good midnight mod.

So agreeing here. See me nod. Nod nod!
posted by dabitch at 12:00 PM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


"I'm under the impression that mefi was less serious in the olden days. More harmless absurd fun.

Was that really the case or is it just my imagination?"


<img src="http://example.com/ONOES.gif">
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:06 PM on April 28, 2008


mattacortaplebamyn. *hic*
posted by flatluigi at 12:07 PM on April 28, 2008


A little (very) late, but I can see why autmoatic deletion would be too extreme and not entirely necessary. Perhaps instead of automatic deletion a compromise could be to 'freeze' the post when it reaches a certain threshold of controversy. By 'freeze' I mean lock down so that no one may post, yet the post still exists until a moderator may review the post and clean up any comments that fouled the place up or decide to just delete entirely. This would prevent some posts from getting messed up from those who can't 'flag it and move on' and perhaps give incentive for people to read the links before commenting resumes.
posted by Green With You at 1:08 PM on April 28, 2008


Mextapyb?
posted by equalpants at 1:16 PM on April 28, 2008


Green With You: That's the worst possible solution. Your way allows the spammers to continute to get clicks while the mefites aren't able to snark like they do best. The threads that get labeled trainwrecks are usually the most entertaining Metafilter has to offer and we need more "absurd fun" and less "flag it and move on." Maybe deleted spam threads could be purged of the offending links and thrown over to trainwreck.metafilter.com to continue to host eternal comment parties.
posted by bunnytricks at 1:37 PM on April 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


I think taz would be a good midnight mod.

Goodnight Mod. Goodnight cortex and jess and matt. Good trolls in funny hats. Goodnight MeCha, MeTa and Fi, goodnight quons and crash and pie. Goodnight flameouts, Goodnight favorites, Goodnight askme....
posted by jonmc at 2:13 PM on April 28, 2008 [6 favorites]


/me takes the gorilla back to the zoo in a cross-childrens book reference.
posted by Artw at 2:20 PM on April 28, 2008


THE NIGHT WATCHMAN

I picture a unshaven man in a long coat with a black flashlight prowling the halls of MeFi late into the night
posted by Viomeda at 9:02 AM


Don't forget the jingling keys and handcuffs and, if he is a real macho rent-a-cop, the light bar on top of a 10-year-old Toyota.
posted by Cranberry at 2:35 PM on April 28, 2008


majescor
posted by Cranberry at 2:37 PM on April 28, 2008


aaceeehijmmnoorssttwxy

"Aacee" for short.
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:59 PM on April 28, 2008


taz for midnight mod
posted by sveskemus at 3:04 PM on April 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


The good thing about being the night watchman is that you can spend the vast bulk of your time idly masturbating to Internet pornography.

The good thing about working for MetaFilter is that your Internet pornography (and broadband) is a tax write-off.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:26 PM on April 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


jessamyn writes: The user who posted that winner from this morning has actually been a user since 2005 and never been flagged before for anything

Doesn't everyone realize what this means? MetaFilter has been infiltrated by sleeper agents! They walk among us, superficially enjoying our lulz, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

Mark my words, this was only a minor demonstration of their full power. One day soon Order 66 is going to go out from Spamlord Central and the front page is going to be filled with spammy self-links from supposed long-time users. There will be flags and beans everywhere.

There's only one solution: we have to take a flamethrower to the whole 26-28K block of users. It's the only way to be sure.
posted by anifinder at 5:06 PM on April 28, 2008 [3 favorites]


we have to take a flamethrower to the whole 26-28K block of users

...uh, hang on while I scootch over a bit.
posted by popechunk at 5:45 PM on April 28, 2008


Blood tests! Someone get the wire.
posted by Artw at 9:12 PM on April 28, 2008


That's fine Artw, just don't tie us all up on the same damn couch, please.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:52 AM on April 29, 2008


You're projecting, Stavros.

*looks down*

Yeah, sorry. That happens anytime someone suggests my name as a mod. I gotta get a codpiece or something. I've been predicting those fuckers would come back into fashion for decades.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:26 AM on April 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


Someone needs to LOLCATS up The Thing.

HANDS PLZ! NOM NOM NOM
posted by Artw at 8:40 AM on April 29, 2008


We need a Banhammer Time! video, with YouTube comments.
posted by lukemeister at 10:06 AM on April 29, 2008


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