God be wi'ye.

February 28, 2008 12:41 PM

Alas poor hermitosis! We knew him, Mefites: Twas a fellow of infinite jest, of moste excellent fancy...oh, yeah, and he was a total favorites whore.
posted by youarenothere to MetaFilter-Related at 12:41 PM (331 comments total)

Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen? ALAS.
posted by youarenothere at 12:42 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Not so fast.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:46 PM on February 28, 2008

*gasp!* Who did that? Fixed.
posted by youarenothere at 12:47 PM on February 28, 2008

Well, it's at 498 as of this typing. And he hasn't disabled his account. Reports of his demise blah blah exaggerated &c.
posted by dersins at 12:47 PM on February 28, 2008

Just so you know, the bar on this ultimatum was set much, much lower. Perhaps it was for the best that it didn't catch on -- though you gotta admit it would have been much more interesting to watch that one play out...
posted by Rhaomi at 12:47 PM on February 28, 2008

Lord, people are playing some real games. It's oscillated between 498 and 502 in the past twenty seconds.
posted by youarenothere at 12:48 PM on February 28, 2008

And now it's at 501. What an emotional rollercoaster!
posted by dersins at 12:48 PM on February 28, 2008

I knew this would happen. hermitosis is in an uncertain quantum state now, neither active nor disabled.

In other news, whuuuu?
posted by nanojath at 12:49 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

EVERYBODY SAVE HERMITOSIS
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:50 PM on February 28, 2008

Yeah, I'm evil but I was counting down too. And favorited the comment...
posted by slimepuppy at 12:50 PM on February 28, 2008

nanojath: In other news, whuuuu?

o_0
posted by youarenothere at 12:51 PM on February 28, 2008

W.T.F. Jonmc? GOD DAMMIT. everything is drowning in suck.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:51 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

HERMITOSIS WAS JONMC!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by ND¢ at 12:52 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

aaaaaand.... clear. Stopping CPR.
Time of death, 3:44 p.m.

Hermitosis. Dead, gone and took jonboy with ya.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:53 PM on February 28, 2008

screenshot from 3:39 EST.
posted by Stynxno at 12:53 PM on February 28, 2008

MWA HA HA HA
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:54 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Wait. Did someone just die?

.

There. I feel better now.
posted by Dizzy at 12:54 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

I guess all the cool kids are disabling their accounts. We should all do it too! You go first.
posted by ND¢ at 12:55 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

In other news, whuuuu?

A couple days ago. Metachat too; get the feeling dude just needed some time off from the mefisphere.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:57 PM on February 28, 2008

In other news, whuuuu?

Looks like his last activity was around the same time that there was a little contretemps over at metachat, resulting in his closure of that account, too.

I'm sure he's happy, though, that even in his absence he can make a thread all about him.
posted by dersins at 12:58 PM on February 28, 2008

Bah, I saw 501 with TPS's favourite as the last one.
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 12:58 PM on February 28, 2008

Look, I've already laid out my creepiness in front of him and a thousand* MeFite witnesses in real life, so let me just say here: jonmc was the whole reason why I finally signed up for this site after lurking for a long ass time. Someone better let me know WHAT THE FUCK is going on before I totally flip my shit.

*Well, okay, like, five or six.
posted by youarenothere at 12:59 PM on February 28, 2008 [4 favorites]

.
posted by OmieWise at 12:59 PM on February 28, 2008

I don't think you can disable your own account. I think you need the help of a friendly moderator to deliver the coup de grâce.
posted by dgaicun at 1:00 PM on February 28, 2008

This thread is about hermitosis, not jonmc, and both of them will be back in 30 days or less, GUARANTEED, or I'll eat my shoe with ketchup.

Re: Orange Pamplemousse- BUT DO YOU HAVE A SCREENSHOT? I think not!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:00 PM on February 28, 2008 [3 favorites]

.
posted by special-k at 1:00 PM on February 28, 2008

/lingers over "Close Your Account" button
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:00 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

I add a * to the end of my shoe-eating promise that sock puppets count.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:00 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

cortex: get the feeling dude just needed some time off from the mefisphere.

I guess that's okay. But still very saddening. :(
posted by youarenothere at 1:01 PM on February 28, 2008

That'll teach me, I guess.
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 1:01 PM on February 28, 2008

Now that hermitosis has disabled his account, I'm removing my favorite from that comment.
posted by dersins at 1:02 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

I knew this would happen. hermitosis is in an uncertain quantum state now, neither active nor disabled.
posted by nanojath

Schrödinger'sFilter
posted by slimepuppy at 1:03 PM on February 28, 2008

If 5 people favorite this comment, I will disable my account.
posted by hermitosis2 at 1:03 PM on February 28, 2008 [30 favorites]

TPS: I like how we're both already 10 names down on the list though. It seems everyone wants a chance to be the 500th favourite.
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 1:03 PM on February 28, 2008

Everyone wants to be like us!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:03 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm confused. Why is jonmc's account disabled?
posted by loquacious at 1:04 PM on February 28, 2008

THIS ACCOUNT IS DISABLED

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
posted by dgaicun at 1:04 PM on February 28, 2008

I don't think you can disable your own account.

Think harder.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:04 PM on February 28, 2008 [6 favorites]

*gibbers quietly in the corner*
posted by Skorgu at 1:04 PM on February 28, 2008

Why is jonmc's account disabled?

He pressed the button.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:04 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

I should really run over and visit him at work to let him know we're talking about him. That'll get him back, and then I won't have to eat a shoe.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:05 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Hermitosis, I'm still holding the threat of revelaing your sock puppet over you! You'd better have the sock be favorite #500!! It's the only proper way to introduce your new self!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:06 PM on February 28, 2008

I don't think you can disable your own account.

Edit preferences, press the big yellow "Disable This Account" button.
posted by quonsar at 1:07 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm going to spend the evening playing old John Waite singles and sobbing onto my Rachel Ray glossy.
posted by Dizzy at 1:08 PM on February 28, 2008

Think harder.

He pressed the button.

Wait, is there really a self-destruct button? I'm not finding this pony.
posted by dgaicun at 1:08 PM on February 28, 2008

wtf? I miss jonmc already.

:(
posted by schyler523 at 1:08 PM on February 28, 2008

oh my gosh, I take it back. Good man!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:08 PM on February 28, 2008

Shit from metachat is spilling over into metafilter? This is like bird flu making the jump.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:09 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

See, hermitosis2, I actually do want to favorite that comment cause its hilarious, but I can't bring myself to participate in another innocent slaughter.
posted by lunit at 1:09 PM on February 28, 2008

Edit preferences, press the big yellow "Disable This Account" button.

Ok, I see it now!

And now I'm really scared I'm going to hit it. So... strangely... tempting....
posted by dgaicun at 1:10 PM on February 28, 2008

Alas, it's too late.
posted by lunit at 1:10 PM on February 28, 2008

I can't find the button.
posted by hermitosis2 at 1:11 PM on February 28, 2008

but I can't bring myself to participate in another innocent slaughter.

I, on the other hand, enjoy nothing quite so much as a robust slaughtering-of-the-innocents.
posted by aramaic at 1:11 PM on February 28, 2008

I can't find the button.

My Profile -> Edit Profile -> Bottom of page -> Close Your Account.

Come on, let's wrap this $5 joke up. You, sir, are no hermitosis.
posted by nanojath at 1:14 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

When I hit a predefined number of favorites, my body will convert into pure radiant energy, the mere site of which will be so astonishingly beautiful that all around me will fall to their knees in awe, sobbing with the knowledge that they will never see anything as miraculous again in their lives.

Which is totally true, because about 15 seconds later, the fusion reaction needed to make this possible, will light the atmosphere on fire and that will pretty much be that.

Favoriting me is signing this planet's death warrant.

The devil on your shoulder sez "Click the [+]... you know you want to."
posted by quin at 1:14 PM on February 28, 2008 [10 favorites]

Counting down to hermitosis3 in 5...4....3...
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:14 PM on February 28, 2008

Mmmm... ketchup shoe.

Oh! Is this the thread where I troll for ... ummm ... ketchup ... shoe ... lunch. (/me disables account)
posted by not_on_display at 1:15 PM on February 28, 2008

With jonmc gone, I am now THE active MeFite with the Lowest User Number! I have seniority! Bow before me, 14Kers, 1Kers... quonsar is #986, jessamyn is #292... I AM 2-0-FREAKING-6! I answer to none but #1 mathowie... uh, what's that, matt? Sit down and shut up? Okie dokie.
posted by wendell at 1:15 PM on February 28, 2008 [10 favorites]

Do the Dance of the Seven Veils and you may yet live!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:16 PM on February 28, 2008

I've already registered hermitosis3 and will start using it with hilarious results as soon as he deletes this account.
posted by ND¢ at 1:16 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Actually, I support all of this. Because eventually it will mean that most long-time users will enjoy their shiny new high-user-number accounts, thus rendering the frattish totem-pole that is "user number" obsolete.

Thus, the first shall be last, as was foretold.

In a perfect, more Christ-like metafilter, the person with the highest user number would garner the most respect.

/sermon
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:17 PM on February 28, 2008 [3 favorites]

Many may vie to be the 500th favorite of that comment. But I will always be the first.

There can be only one.
posted by grouse at 1:17 PM on February 28, 2008

awww crap - the last thing I said to him before he left was snarky. Sorry Jon, you know I love ya. Come back soon.
posted by vronsky at 1:18 PM on February 28, 2008

I'm shaking this bible directly at you, wendell.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:18 PM on February 28, 2008

I was just doing some brinkmanship with the big red button, putting my password in the confirmation box with just ONE LETTER altered.

It's like playing Russian Roulette without any bullets.
posted by Rhaomi at 1:18 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

In other actually, specifically this news, whuuuu.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:19 PM on February 28, 2008

The "Close Your Account" feature is Bad for MetaFilter, and I wish it would disappear.
posted by ibmcginty at 1:20 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

oh good lord, even when jonmc isn't here, the thread becomes all about him.
posted by gaspode at 1:20 PM on February 28, 2008 [11 favorites]

Whenever I decide to push the eject button, I ain't gonna put it up to a vote.
posted by konolia at 1:21 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Two things:

1. I hereby nominate "whuuuu" to be the official signifier of account closures.

2. Does anyone have an updated list of the epic carnage that has taken place over the course of the past two or three months? (Dating back to the feminism thread). I think we're in some kind of recession or something.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:21 PM on February 28, 2008 [3 favorites]

The "Close Your Account" feature is Bad for MetaFilter, and I wish it would disappear.
That's not the culprit so much as the pointlessly visible THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN DISABLED notice on the profile page.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:21 PM on February 28, 2008

Save your strength, people! He'll be back!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:21 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Why is that, ibc? People should be free to choose to flameout leave when they wish. And a minor barrier to re-entry should, one hopes, force them to think before trying to come back.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:22 PM on February 28, 2008

Life requires a process of decay. Account deletion is merely a different type of buzzard, swirling in the thermals, looking for the fallen.

...the "Account Disabled" note is just the skeletal remains. Eventually things move on, and people forget all about the bones beneath their feet.
posted by aramaic at 1:22 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Many may vie to be the 500th favorite of that comment. But I will always be the first.

No actually, the new game is to see if we can get the favorites down to 0. We have to clean up all the evidence for our heinous murder.
posted by dgaicun at 1:24 PM on February 28, 2008

1. People were closing their accounts before there was a close button. The only difference is we don't get email about it now every time.

2. People were wondering where people went and why before there was a close button. The "account disable" note is the difference, in the case of high profile members, between panicky "they closed their account? why?!" metatalk threads and panicky "omg did they close their account? And why?" metatalk threads, as far as I can tell.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:26 PM on February 28, 2008

WE WILL SURVIVE AND THRIVE!
posted by hermitosis4 at 1:28 PM on February 28, 2008

"This account has been disabled. You don't need to start a MetaTalk thread about it."
posted by Wolfdog at 1:29 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

I didn't really register hermitosis3. You could have had that one. I look like I'm made of five dollar bills?
posted by ND¢ at 1:30 PM on February 28, 2008

With jonmc gone, I am now THE active MeFite with the Lowest User Number!

As I recall, someone with a user number below 100 commented in a thread to a post I made a while back.
posted by y2karl at 1:31 PM on February 28, 2008

I didn't really register hermitosis3. You could have had that one.

Why yes, we are smart!
posted by hermitosis5 at 1:32 PM on February 28, 2008

It's getting awfully Spartacus in here.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:32 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

wendell: "With jonmc gone, I am now THE active MeFite with the Lowest User Number! I have seniority!"

• jjg (user 16) last posted on 2008-01-15
• gac (user 40) last posted on 2008-01-16
• fraying (user 44) last posted on 2008-01-12
• riley370 (user 92) last posted on 2007-12-25
• Jeremy (user 100) last posted on 2007-12-20
• tomcosgrave (user 131) last posted on 2008-01-05
• prolific (user 138) last posted on 2008-01-15
• cmicali (user 145) last posted on 2008-01-03
• Neale (user 161) last posted on 2007-12-06
• russh (user 165) last posted on 2007-11-07
• pb (user 191) last posted on 2008-01-10
• endquote (user 199) last posted on 2007-11-07
posted by Plutor at 1:34 PM on February 28, 2008 [15 favorites]

Silence knave, you will be assimilated.
posted by hermitosis4 at 1:35 PM on February 28, 2008

last, since it's an old infodump.
posted by Plutor at 1:36 PM on February 28, 2008

You can always depend on Plutor's skillz for the lulz.
posted by grouse at 1:37 PM on February 28, 2008

If only we could get them to fight the Astrozombies, everything might turn out ok.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:38 PM on February 28, 2008 [4 favorites]

It's more like when Superman died, and all those bunk Supermen came back to claim his legacy.
posted by Julia F***ing Sugarbaker at 1:38 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

The "Close Your Account" feature is Bad for MetaFilter, and I wish it would disappear.

Sometimes starting over isn't a bad thing.
posted by johnofjack at 1:39 PM on February 28, 2008

CORTEX HAS BEEN ASSIMILATED
posted by corhermitex at 1:41 PM on February 28, 2008 [48 favorites]

Okay that is pretty funny.
posted by ND¢ at 1:42 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Wait, what, I thought we were going for PB?!
posted by hermitosis5 at 1:44 PM on February 28, 2008

Jonmc is one cool dude. This place and MeCha will be the worse for his absence.
posted by caddis at 1:45 PM on February 28, 2008

posted by corhermitex

God help me!

since it's an old infodump.

Hey, I reran it on Sunday!
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:46 PM on February 28, 2008

Do you even check your email anymore?! I told you this morning.
posted by hermitosis4 at 1:46 PM on February 28, 2008

Just got word from jonmc.
He's "doing some special work" for Ryan Seacrest of "American Idol".
Please advise.
posted by Dizzy at 1:47 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

GODDAMIT, who let him escape?! I told you before DOUBLE KNOTS, he's tricksy.
posted by hermitosis5 at 1:47 PM on February 28, 2008

Sure, but I think the key word is "active". jonmc and wendell post almost every day in multiple threads, making them prominent members. While the most recent comment you listed there was from a month and a half ago! Not really that "active".

So Wendell is the oldest "regular".
posted by dgaicun at 1:49 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

cortex: "Hey, I reran it on Sunday!"

Yeah, I was just in too much of a rush to update. These MeTa threads move quick.
posted by Plutor at 1:49 PM on February 28, 2008

fraying (user 44) last posted on 2008-01-12

Yeah but he only shows up to defend himself when folks here are trashing some new project of his. That is, every few months.
posted by vacapinta at 1:50 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

I feel...lonely now.
posted by corhermitex at 1:51 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

listen, I know this thread is all about jonmc or hermitosis, not sure which, but if it's ok I'd like to make an announcement:

To Whom It May Concern:

My username has nothing to do with either Smegma or Schmeg. It has recently come to my attention that people thought that was what my name was about. IT IS NOT. If you click my profile link, you will see that my name is Yiddish for "A stupid person." As in, "boy that shmegegge sure is a shmegegge." Please update your bookmarks.

Also, there is no C in my name. It is spelled shmegegge, not schmegegge.

I swear to God, if one more person spells it schmegegge, I'll disable my account.
posted by shmegegge at 1:56 PM on February 28, 2008

I just went to visit jonmc at his place of employment. He sounded pleased that you all miss him so, and said he might stop by and visit his own funeral. He said to tell you all he's taking a break, and feeling good so far. And you always know where to find him.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:58 PM on February 28, 2008 [4 favorites]

feel...lonely now.
It's ok, I'm here now.
posted by hermitosis3 at 1:59 PM on February 28, 2008

Hush, you schmegegge.
posted by dersins at 1:59 PM on February 28, 2008

Um, I think we need to redo the budget.
posted by hermitosis5 at 2:00 PM on February 28, 2008

no c, c. About 12:1. Feh.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:01 PM on February 28, 2008

I nearly disabled my account last week, because of the problem I was having getting to the site from home. That got worked out yesterday in AskMe.

Not that anyone would have missed me as much as, oh, say SCHMEGEGGE.
posted by yhbc at 2:01 PM on February 28, 2008

*pokes hermitosis in the side*

Yeah, I'm pretty sure this guy ain't comin' back.
posted by Longinus at 2:02 PM on February 28, 2008 [4 favorites]

The Haughey family will be dining out tonight, that's for sure. Maybe the Sizzler!
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 2:02 PM on February 28, 2008 [25 favorites]

We should try to get the favorite count back down to zero.
posted by sciurus at 2:03 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

That got worked out yesterday in AskMe.

Yay!

The Haughey family will be dining out tonight, that's for sure.

Seriously. Y'all just bought the whole team lunch for like three days. So far.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:04 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Shit. I hope jonmc comes back soon. But quonsar was reborn, so there is hope for all.
posted by languagehat at 2:06 PM on February 28, 2008

Every time a new account is created an admin gets hot wings.
posted by ND¢ at 2:06 PM on February 28, 2008 [66 favorites]

Are you going to eat ALL of your fries?
posted by hermitosis5 at 2:08 PM on February 28, 2008

We should try to get the favorite count back down to zero.

Sitewide. Brand New Day!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:08 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

there is hope for all

I think you are confusing hope & despair. Again.
posted by aramaic at 2:09 PM on February 28, 2008

There Will Be Blood Pickles, No Mayo.
posted by hermitosis3 at 2:11 PM on February 28, 2008

This needs one of those British comedy punchlines. "Well, I'm back then."

Please?
posted by roll truck roll at 2:20 PM on February 28, 2008

That's not the culprit so much as the pointlessly visible THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN DISABLED notice on the profile page.

It's pointless because it means nothing. No one who writes 20,000 comments is going to leave. No one has made metafilter an integral part of their life is going to leave. Quonsar came back, ethereal bligh has come back several times. Jonmc will come back, if for no other reason than he's bored and has nothing else to do and where else can he find a captive audience for his 20 one liners a day?

This is like high school with the drama. Be happy. Jonmc will be back. He has no other choice. He needs metafilter.
posted by gtr at 2:21 PM on February 28, 2008

Okay, that's it I AM OUT OF HERE!
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:21 PM on February 28, 2008

I'm back.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:22 PM on February 28, 2008

No one who writes 20,000 comments is going to leave.

Miguel?
posted by caddis at 2:23 PM on February 28, 2008

if jamaro can confess that, I will fess up that I just noticed dirtynumbangelboy wasn't dirtynumBAGELboy this week.
Whoops.
posted by pointystick at 2:26 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Dear people who are Yiddish Impaired

It's adorable, and we like you just the way you are. You're mensches—no, that's a compliment, it's—what? No, no it is not 'a period thing'.

Oy gevalt,

Us.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:30 PM on February 28, 2008 [3 favorites]

I can't help but feel somewhat responsible.

Sooooo... what happens now? Is hermitosis just gonna get a new account or something?
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:31 PM on February 28, 2008

The "Close Your Account" feature is Bad for MetaFilter, and I wish it would disappear.

It would just reappear a day later as Close Your Account 2.
posted by rocket88 at 2:32 PM on February 28, 2008 [10 favorites]

Christ, I'm sorry I participated it this drama bullshit.
posted by puke & cry at 2:35 PM on February 28, 2008

Sooooo... what happens now? Is hermitosis just gonna get a new account or something?

We all talked it over: Hermitosises 2 and 3 will cover the blue, 4 and 5 will be working in the green, and I'm going to stay mainly in the grey. The original hermitosis will continue to use his old sock puppets.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 2:35 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

What about Music?
posted by hermitosis3 at 2:36 PM on February 28, 2008

I'm gonna disable my account on good friday and come back on easter just to show you all how much I care.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 2:37 PM on February 28, 2008 [9 favorites]

You know this was lot funnier when we had more money.
posted by hermitosis5 at 2:38 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

I just saw that hermitosis added me as a contact right before closing his account.

Now I feel really, really bad for favoriting his comment. >:(
posted by middleclasstool at 2:38 PM on February 28, 2008

hermitosis never posted in music anyway. If you want it, you can have it.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 2:38 PM on February 28, 2008

Now if we could just get some more of these ne'er-do-wells to flameout and disappear, that would be
posted by Lynsey at 2:39 PM on February 28, 2008

As many fivers as this merry band of idiots has laid down today, I imagine #1 will be dining out tonight.
posted by absalom at 2:40 PM on February 28, 2008

I just saw that hermitosis added me as a contact right before closing his account.

He did the same to me. I suspect he was trying to manufacture guilt. I laugh in the face of such tactics.

/kicks the grave
posted by Brockles at 2:41 PM on February 28, 2008

And I am king idiot, and also apparently illiterate. I misread that comment. NARF.
posted by absalom at 2:41 PM on February 28, 2008

Sugar rush wearing off?
posted by hermitosis4 at 2:42 PM on February 28, 2008

I feel slighted. He credits me for his deathblow and he didn't even add me as a contact before he went.

Fucker.
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:46 PM on February 28, 2008

s l e e p y
posted by hermitosis5 at 2:47 PM on February 28, 2008

I love how the use of the word "whore" has become pretty common these days, kind of like "snow niggah." It's a wonderful, rose-colored world.
posted by KokuRyu at 2:49 PM on February 28, 2008

It's raining whuuuu!
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:51 PM on February 28, 2008

Whuuuu!
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:51 PM on February 28, 2008

Burn MetaFilter! BURN!
posted by tkchrist at 2:52 PM on February 28, 2008

I have to admit I kinda hated this guy, though. Good whuuuuddance.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:52 PM on February 28, 2008

Laugh now, arch nemesis, but we will return and then we will beat you and your Mach 5!
posted by corhermitex at 2:53 PM on February 28, 2008

Just got word from jonmc.
He's "doing some special work" for Ryan Seacrest of "American Idol".

Yes, but that should still leave him with hands free to type, no?
posted by The Light Fantastic at 2:54 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Great. Now I'm getting some weird encrypted email from somebody named "Sisotimreh."

We struck him down and he has become more powerful than we could've ever imagined!
posted by tkchrist at 2:55 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

And you always know where to find him.

Grinding through his day gig,
Stacking cut-outs at the Strand.

posted by timeistight at 2:56 PM on February 28, 2008

Laugh now, arch nemesis, but we will return and then we will beat you and your Mach 5!

Whuuuutever, dude.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:58 PM on February 28, 2008

I think this whole thing is a conspiracy on the part of #1 to make....like, 25 bucks.
posted by nevercalm at 3:00 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

As the last hermitosis standing, I nominate that we close this thread.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 3:01 PM on February 28, 2008

And you always know where to find him.

Working all day in his daddy's garage
Driving all night chasing some mirage
posted by ND¢ at 3:01 PM on February 28, 2008

Whuuuuu!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:03 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

I nominate that we close this thread.

Quiet yourself, newb.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:04 PM on February 28, 2008

"making them prominent members. "

Tee-hee.
posted by klangklangston at 3:05 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

shmegegge: "boy that shmegegge sure is a shmegegge."

All this time, I've been hearing Homer Simpson's voice saying "You mean it's not Maggaggie's birthday?"
posted by evilcolonel at 3:06 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Whuuuutever, dude.

That was your second misake, earth monkey!
posted by hermitamyn at 3:07 PM on February 28, 2008 [5 favorites]

Note to Wendell:Did it not occur to you that if user #191 pb were not active, all accounts would be disabled?
posted by Cranberry at 3:11 PM on February 28, 2008

It would be nice if, after clicking the "disable your account" link, you were suddenly put into a quiet room with LCD walls. There, your favorite soothing music will be playing. You will be surrounded by images of your favorite place in the world; you are so at peace you don't even feel the needle entering your vein...

It's lovely to know that reincarnation is possible here.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 3:11 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Fie!
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:11 PM on February 28, 2008

Unicorn on the cob: It would be nice if, after clicking the "disable your account" link, you were suddenly put into a quiet room with LCD walls. There, your favorite soothing music will be playing. You will be surrounded by images of your favorite place in the world; you are so at peace you don't even feel the needle entering your vein...

Hermitosis is made out of people! It's people!!!
posted by evilcolonel at 3:13 PM on February 28, 2008

I love that death scene. gets me every time. He was dying of cancer when he made that too. Chills.
posted by vronsky at 3:18 PM on February 28, 2008

The original Hermitosis ("Hermie: The Movie') was meh.
But Hermie 2 ("Wrath of Herm") was excellent.
Hermie 3 ("Search for Herm") made me cry, sorta, but brought closure.
Hermie 4 was inexplicably obsessed with transparent aluminium.
I never saw Hermies 4 through 14.
The odd-numbered Hermitosises always suck.
posted by Dizzy at 3:18 PM on February 28, 2008 [3 favorites]

No! Not corhermitex!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

CURSE YOU, EVIL OVERLORDS!
posted by languagehat at 3:18 PM on February 28, 2008

Now, I make my move.
posted by hellbient at 3:20 PM on February 28, 2008

Whuuuuu!

This is a blatant ripoff of WRYYYYYY. I demand that steamrollers be dropped on people who close their accounts if everyone starts using this term.
posted by burnmp3s at 3:20 PM on February 28, 2008

This is what happens when you push the button. Trust me, I know.
posted by vronsky at 3:23 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

So Wendell is the oldest "regular".

Not really caring for all this talk about the Old and the Regular.
posted by hangashore at 3:23 PM on February 28, 2008

That's cortex on the left, and jessamyn on the right. (she's taller than I had imagined.) They were very gentle.
posted by vronsky at 3:25 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Since the snow-thingy MeTa thread is closed, I'll have to ask my question here: what is up with lumping together Vermont and Canada? I'm in Canada, 2000 MILES from Vermont, and we probably have more to do with Texas. Vermont, to me, is what I see in "Newhart" reruns.
posted by evilcolonel at 3:26 PM on February 28, 2008

When these two mighty forces inevitably come to blows, I'm putting my money on Astro Zombie 3. There are times when clever riposte is all that is needed to win the day, when that fails, it's good to bet on the unstoppable zombie.
posted by quin at 3:32 PM on February 28, 2008

Is jonmc something you'd need to have MetaFilter to understand?
posted by JanetLand at 3:34 PM on February 28, 2008

No. It's the opposite. Metafilter is something you'd need Jonmc to understand.
posted by Dave Faris at 3:41 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Metafilter never understood jonmc. That is why he was so out of here as soon as he turned 18.
posted by ND¢ at 3:45 PM on February 28, 2008

vronsky: I love that death scene. gets me every time. He was dying of cancer when he made that too. Chills.

Me too, man. Me too.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 3:49 PM on February 28, 2008

"Since the snow-thingy MeTa thread is closed, I'll have to ask my question here: what is up with lumping together Vermont and Canada?"

If you have to ask, you're probably a Vermontian or a Canuck.

"I'm in Canada, 2000 MILES from Vermont..."

Ayup.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:57 PM on February 28, 2008

muwhahahahaha?
posted by hermitamyn at 3:57 PM on February 28, 2008

I wonder if hermitosis is proud to know that he's netted like $40 for MetaFilter in jokey sock puppets.

(and counting)
posted by baphomet at 4:12 PM on February 28, 2008

Wow, TPS, you are just mowing the members down, aren't you? First jonmc and then hermitosis!

Hey, has anyone actually seen Stynxno lately?
posted by misha at 4:25 PM on February 28, 2008

Oh hey, I meant if 500 more people spell it schmegegge. Sorry to get your hopes up.

For real, I don't have another 5 bucks to sign up the username "sChmegegge are you happy now fuckers?"
posted by shmegegge at 4:30 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Whuuuuuuu!
posted by lunit at 4:34 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

No Mefite is safe from my wrath! First NYC, then the world! Mwa ha ha ha!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:35 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

lunit: Whuuuuuuu!

You know, that's the first time one of those has actually gotten me. Good show, sir.
posted by flatluigi at 4:52 PM on February 28, 2008

Not only did my Internet Access go away a few minutes after I posted my bwahahahahas... now I learn that pb is #191! Curses. Foiled again.
posted by wendell at 4:53 PM on February 28, 2008

No one wants me around, either.
posted by halitosis at 4:57 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Fuck
posted by Divine_Wino at 5:01 PM on February 28, 2008

If 20 people add me as a contact I'll write another Agent Howie story.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:17 PM on February 28, 2008

I should clarify... 20 more starting from my current total of 21.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:19 PM on February 28, 2008

Poor Edward G. Robinson. To go from "Little Caesar" and "Kid Galahad" and "Key Largo" to "Soylent Green." Acting opposite Chuck Heston's Scooby-Doo neckerchiefs. Though he was about the only thing non lulz-tastic about that film.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:20 PM on February 28, 2008

/SteveTheRed adds E2K, wonders where the original Agent Howie story(ies) are.
posted by SteveTheRed at 5:25 PM on February 28, 2008

You'll find links to all 12 of them on my profile page.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:30 PM on February 28, 2008

Duh. I found them. (Scroll down on his profile page)
posted by SteveTheRed at 5:32 PM on February 28, 2008

I'll admit that I was one of the 500 who favorited that comment, contributing to hermitosis's untimely MetaDeath. But here's the thing: he just added me as a contact. After the fact.

(...alright, probably before, but let's pretend otherwise for dramatic effect.)

I cannot help but feel that I am being watched. That the spirit of the late hermitosis is stalking those who laughingly forced him to his grave. Stalking me.

We are all seeing flickering visions of the departed, doppelgangers that flit in and out of existence, deriding the living. I've tried to ignore it all. But this is too close to home. When I saw that lone name on my contacts page, it was as if the icy hand of his corpse brushed my shoulder.

I've done what I can to cleanse myself. Removed my favorite, doused my keyboard with a vial of jessamyn's tears, even incorporated his user number into a ritual prayer of atonement. But I fear it's not enough.

I'm a little scared, guys.
posted by Rhaomi at 5:38 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

....ANNNNDddd, scene.
posted by sChmegegge are you happy now fuckers? at 5:54 PM on February 28, 2008 [4 favorites]

Great, my Metafilter claim to fame is the invention of the "Account Has Been Disabled" whuuuu? (it's 4 u's, get it right).
posted by nanojath at 6:17 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

At least you've got a claim to fame.
posted by whuuuu at 6:27 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Oh so jokey...so jokey...so...so....
posted by mrmojoflying at 6:31 PM on February 28, 2008

OMG.... Why has MY account been disabled??!!??111/??!???
posted by Doohickie at 7:06 PM on February 28, 2008

Go on now go
walk out the door
just turn around now
cause you're not welcome any more...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:41 PM on February 28, 2008

I would like some pie.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:00 PM on February 28, 2008

Whuuuuuuut's up?
posted by miss lynnster at 8:02 PM on February 28, 2008

Who needs 500 comments when you can walk 500 miles?
posted by jmd82 at 8:02 PM on February 28, 2008

What the fuck? When I said I fucking hated you all, I never, EVER, meant jonmc.
posted by eyeballkid at 8:07 PM on February 28, 2008

I miss him already. He consistently posted great comments and links. Seriously, I miss him. A moment of silence, please.


.
posted by HotPatatta at 8:12 PM on February 28, 2008

So with jonmc gone who's going to be the person who takes over as the one who enters into threads about a type of music and posts a comment basically saying "your music sucks"?
posted by marble at 8:29 PM on February 28, 2008

dirtynumbangelboy: I would like some pie.

Nope, I'm pretty sure you want a bagel for some reason.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:32 PM on February 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Here's a tip... if someone starts a post about the joy of new wave music of the 1980s, I'm pretty sure jonmc will resurrect his account just to announce that the OP has no fucking clue what real music is and that the music in question is what made him hate the 1980s.

It'll kind of be like a seance or something...
posted by miss lynnster at 8:54 PM on February 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Go on now go
walk out the door
just turn around now
cause you're not welcome any more...

May I say? Cake's cover of it is better than the original. But then I adore Cake. I mean really. Like beyond reason. I've had "Italian Leather Sofa" in my head for two days straight, and I LIKE IT THAT WAY.

I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooooooooooong...jacket...
posted by middleclasstool at 9:01 PM on February 28, 2008

Everything I learned about MeTa, I learned I am drunk...............
posted by mattbucher at 9:07 PM on February 28, 2008

Here's a tip... if someone starts a post about the joy of new wave music of the 1980s, I'm pretty sure jonmc will resurrect his account just to announce that the OP has no fucking clue what real music is and that the music in question is what made him hate the 1980s.

I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT REAL MUSIC. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT REAL MUSIC.

HER NAME WAS RIOOOOO
AND SHE... uh... WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD... LIKE EVERYBODY... BECAUSE
EARTH BELOW US WAS DRIFFFFFTING FALLLLLLLING
LIKE...

ENOLA GAY! YOU SHOULDA STAYED AT HOME YEEEESTERDAY
AWHAW BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO SHY SHYYYY
HUSH HUSH
HOLD ME NOW... CUZ I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH...
OF... THAT... WHITE HORSE THAT YOU... SHOULDN'T RIDE...

DOO DOO DOOOOO-DOO DOO-DOOOOOO

*snaps fingers and twirls*
posted by katillathehun at 9:26 PM on February 28, 2008

And if you must, go to work - tomorrow
Well, if I were you I really wouldn't bother
For there are brighter sides to life
And I should know, because I've seen them
But not very often ...
posted by thatwhichfalls at 9:31 PM on February 28, 2008

Not that anyone would have missed me as much as, oh, say SCHMEGEGGE.
posted by yhbc

The dick-cheese guy? Hardly.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:07 PM on February 28, 2008

At one point I was considering leaving for a month to see what effect it would have on the favorites economy.
posted by tehloki at 10:51 PM on February 28, 2008 [4 favorites]

I just realized that if I remove my favorite, the count goes down to 499!
I just saved hermitosis!
posted by tehloki at 10:55 PM on February 28, 2008

Oh. Well, it's back at 500 again. Don't I feel silly.
posted by tehloki at 10:55 PM on February 28, 2008

Where one falls, another shall rise to take it's place.
posted by Tenuki at 11:20 PM on February 28, 2008

the favorites economy

I'll trade you 447 comment favorites for 29 post favorites, and not one favorite higher!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:59 PM on February 28, 2008

Wait. Quonsar is back? I was here for EB's most recent return, but where's quonsar? *looks around frantically*
posted by Phire at 12:29 AM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Effigy2000:

Does it count if I de-contact you and then re-add you? Because you got that contact in the first place because of the Agent Howie stories, and I feel cheated now that it doesn't count towards getting more of them, just because I was ahead of the crowd.
posted by Arturus at 1:35 AM on February 29, 2008

Fuck?
posted by Divine_Wino at 4:27 AM on February 29, 2008

A little late here, but this calls for a 1-line pony:

hermatosis' account should be disabled or enabled dynamically depending on how many favorites the comment has.
posted by cotterpin at 5:28 AM on February 29, 2008 [9 favorites]

I'd be fine with that.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 6:18 AM on February 29, 2008

If fifty people add me as a contact, I will hitchhike to jonmc's home, ply him with liquor, bind him with duct tape, and play Hanson's first album until his brain leaks from his ears.
posted by waraw at 6:58 AM on February 29, 2008

How much money did Matt make on this MeTa just on Hermitosis-related sock puppets?

waraw: You got my vote.
posted by Doohickie at 7:45 AM on February 29, 2008

waraw - careful - that might be what he's going for here...
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:13 AM on February 29, 2008

I'll disable my account if this post gets 500 favorites, but as an 18ker NO ONE WILL GIVE A SHIT.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 8:19 AM on February 29, 2008

I miss hermitosis3.
posted by rocket88 at 9:00 AM on February 29, 2008

He did it--he was a man of his word, that Hermitosis.
posted by LarryC at 9:19 AM on February 29, 2008

Not that I'd give a shit anyway, but what's an account in the 18000's have to do with that? And stop whining!!

Wait... Burhanistan's gone, too? What, is it my breath? Someone tell me.
posted by not_on_display at 9:22 AM on February 29, 2008

I didn't want to be the one to say it, but, well, yeah. It's like you've been chewing on garlic with a rotting-fish chaser.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:38 AM on February 29, 2008

You're getting me hungry, cortex. That and a stinky-cheese-milkshake, please. Wait, didn't TPS say something about shoe and ketchup? It's lunch time gottagobye
posted by not_on_display at 9:43 AM on February 29, 2008

Shoe sandwiches for everyone!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:02 AM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

I completely missed that whole EB blowup... must have happened while I timed myself out.

So, all these people, getting fed up and leaving Metafilter ... heck, Matt and pb going to the trouble of programming an "I quit" button... doesn't that indicate some sort of troubling, deeper problem? (Not that I think there's any real way to fix it.)
posted by Dave Faris at 10:09 AM on February 29, 2008

Shoe sandwiches for everyone!

Now that's what I call sole food! (You've been a great audience. I'll be here all week. Try the sole.)
posted by Sys Rq at 10:22 AM on February 29, 2008

Burhanistan is gone AGAIN?
posted by miss lynnster at 10:23 AM on February 29, 2008

Erm, whuuuu.
posted by carsonb at 10:31 AM on February 29, 2008

Depressing, isn't it? Though I can't say I blame her.
posted by agregoli at 10:37 AM on February 29, 2008

Well, "all these people" getting fed up and leaving Metafilter is a tiny fraction of the userbase, and only a fraction yet of the highly visible and the regulars that constitute the most active part of the userbase. In some cases, these are folks who have spent years at the site; to expect that none of them would ever decide to leave seems counterintuitive to me.

So I don't personally think there's anything particularly surprising, let alone deeply or troublingly problematic, about the situation.

As far as going to the trouble of programming the button—Matt's said a few times now that he's gotten feedback from folks that the lack of an ability to close your account is wierd, and has talked about how much it bothered him that he couldn't close his own account on some other site. It's a concession to that sensibility and experience, and a minor administrative time-saver for us in reducing the need to go through an email exchange and manually tweak someone's account setting.

It's not as if no one left the site or closed their account before we added the button; as far as I can tell, the attrition rate has remained pretty much flat across the transition.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:38 AM on February 29, 2008

(To be clear: I don't mean to say that every time some given user x decides to leave the site, it must be a completely happy-go-lucky All Is Right With The World situation. Folks have left here, recently and not so recently, under circumstances that I've thought sucked. I'm saying I don't believe that the suckage is a systemic thing or an issue of the closure functionality.)
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:41 AM on February 29, 2008

Yeah. I guess the fact that there are so few people with uid < 3000 active probably indicates that almost all of them left without even a whisper, let alone being noted in threads like this. Still, I guess I find it a little troubling that so many of these recent departures have been with people who have let themselves get so invested in the site and the community, and now seem to be suddenly leaving, either in a pique or for whatever other reason. But maybe that's more cause and effect.
posted by Dave Faris at 11:05 AM on February 29, 2008

people just move on, it's OK.
posted by matteo at 11:06 AM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Wait... we're all here voluntarily?
I need a lawyer, I think....
posted by not_on_display at 11:09 AM on February 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

So, all these people, getting fed up and leaving Metafilter ... heck, Matt and pb going to the trouble of programming an "I quit" button... doesn't that indicate some sort of troubling, deeper problem?

I think it would be weirder if Metafilter was some kind of Hotel California, all-things-to-all-people website. Yes, it's a community, but it's okay for people to leave. They might have kids, or find another website they want to spend more time on, or develop carpal tunnel syndrome, or get a job that takes a lot of their time, or decide they'd rather spend their evenings perfecting their seven-layer pousse cafés.

There's nothing sinister about people deciding to spend their leisure time doing something other than what they used to do.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:13 AM on February 29, 2008

There's nothing sinister about people deciding to spend their leisure time...

Incorrect -- there is something sinister about everything. At least, as long as I'm around there is.
posted by aramaic at 11:18 AM on February 29, 2008

Ok, i slept on this, and i am still sad that jon is gone...maybe i should take some time off of metafilter as well.
posted by schyler523 at 11:46 AM on February 29, 2008

marble: So with jonmc gone who's going to be the person who takes over as the one who enters into threads about a type of music and posts a comment basically saying "your music sucks"?

Uh... Everybody else on the site?
posted by whir at 11:54 AM on February 29, 2008

Wait, EB came back? Even temporarily? His account shows no further activity since he left. Links, please!

My tally of recents (or somewhat recents) is:

EB (back or not?)
thehmsbeagle
occhiblu
zebra3
quonsar (is kind of back, but less frequent posting?)
jonmc
hermitosis and various hermitosi
Burhanistan
konolia

Who am I missing?

And can I just say that I wish disabling your account did not also take away all of the personal information that you might have put on it, such as where your name came from, etc. People who are only leaving for a while might choose to write a message that they'll be back in August after their project is done with, or come back from their trip, or that they might just need a little break or whatever. I think at a minimum people should have an option of leaving this information up for others when they leave or taking it down. I mean, they were members of this community once, and it seems only polite to allow folks to leave up something personal about themselves if they so choose. (I also think it would be nice to show the date they left below the date they joined.)
posted by onlyconnect at 12:00 PM on February 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

Everybody? Uh oh. (sucks.)
posted by carsonb at 12:01 PM on February 29, 2008

Even after leaving, jonmc manages to hijack threads.

This thread is about hermitosis. We'll miss you, bud. Also hermitosis3, hermitosis4, and hermitosis5. But not hermitosis2, he was an irritating attention-whoring jerk.
posted by grouse at 12:02 PM on February 29, 2008

Oh sorry, gaspode already said that.
posted by grouse at 12:03 PM on February 29, 2008

I wish disabling your account did not also take away all of the personal information that you might have put on it

You work for Facebook, don't you?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:07 PM on February 29, 2008

Huh, Konolia is gone.
posted by everichon at 12:13 PM on February 29, 2008

"hermatosis' account should be disabled or enabled dynamically depending on how many favorites the comment has."

No, no no no NO NO NO!

"If 500 people favorite this comment, I'll disable my account."

Not "If this comment gets (and keeps) 500 favorites, I'll disable my account."

So if you favorited it and later removed your favorite, you are just as guilty.
posted by Eideteker at 12:13 PM on February 29, 2008

I am not going to resign my account no matter how many of you motherfuckers favorite this. Too trendy.
posted by everichon at 12:14 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

"Huh, Konolia is gone."

Here?

I'm headed to that thread next, because I'm sure someone's made a trifling mistake there which I can correct to make myself feel better.
posted by Eideteker at 12:15 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Thanks, Eideteker, I had not seen that. What an interesting time to be a MeFite...the Big Molt. Or something. The Big Bolt?
posted by everichon at 12:18 PM on February 29, 2008

"If 500 people favorite this comment, I'll disable my account."

Alternatively, he stated that he would disable his account, which he has done. As far as I'm concerned he has fully met this obligation. As far as I know, he never stated that he would keep it permanently locked out.

I think he should wait a week, have one of the admins turn the original hermetosis account back on, and continue using it, it would be even better if he did so without ever acknowledging anything about the original bet or subsequent jokey spin off accounts.
posted by quin at 12:19 PM on February 29, 2008

And can I just say that I wish disabling your account did not also take away all of the personal information that you might have put on it, such as where your name came from, etc.

Yes, this bugs me too. Why is it that way anyway?
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:33 PM on February 29, 2008

"Dear Mr. Math Owie, I am writing this e-mail to protest your continued usage of my personal data following my departure from the web destination and alleged community 'MetaFilter'. While I feel your failure to remove my entire catalogue of comments is an infringement on my copyright, I can understand your desire to preserve so many of my bon mots as they indubitably contributed to the popularity of the site and were and continue to provide the income needed for your purchase of a private island in the Lesser Antilles. However, when I clicked The Button^TM it was with the expectation that the particular tabula that is my profile would be rasa'd, as it were. Frankly, you and your cronies don't deserve to view my Last.fm charts or to know the deal with my nickname."
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:51 PM on February 29, 2008 [5 favorites]

Well, since you can't edit the information once you close your account, it doesn't seem right to have whatever personal details you shared continue to be there forever. If you want out, you should be all the way out.
posted by team lowkey at 12:52 PM on February 29, 2008

Like Alvy said.
posted by team lowkey at 12:53 PM on February 29, 2008

Alvy, it's funny* because it's true.

*read: depressing
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:53 PM on February 29, 2008

I think it would be cool to have an entry at the end of a user's disabled account page that said "Last Words" and then either repeated either the last entry that the person made on any of the sites or whatever text the use typed in a box on the disable accounts page. But maybe that would be too incendiary? Personally, it might save current members (okay, me) a bunch of work in clicking through the histories of ex-members trying to figure out why they left.
posted by onlyconnect at 1:28 PM on February 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

It's a nice idea, but I doubt people who are flaming out would use those final words with grace and maturity. Sure, some would, but when you're very angry, it's just human nature to want to aim a parting shot of fuel into the fire as you exit. It would be nice to able to leave something, but how would you avoid it becoming something angry and highly quoted in the arguments that started it all?
posted by Tehanu at 1:40 PM on February 29, 2008

Yeah, Tehanu, you may be right.
posted by onlyconnect at 1:41 PM on February 29, 2008

like dewdrops
on the lotus leaf
I vanish


Not really, that was for demonstration purposes only.
posted by everichon at 1:45 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

But if people would write a "death" verse, it would be sweet.
posted by everichon at 1:45 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Yes! "Please type your mandatory death haiku in the following textbox. Your account cannot be disabled until you have made your submission."
posted by onlyconnect at 1:51 PM on February 29, 2008 [7 favorites]

That would be so awesome, everichon. I suspect there would be some

like a circle
your idiocy is never-ending
fuck you all

Actually, I kind of like that. If this thing requires verse, I change my position entirely. WANT.
posted by Tehanu at 1:53 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

We could have the death verse page, which would a) let us know who has lately topped themselves, and b) provide a lyrical interlude to our day.
posted by everichon at 2:00 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

this is just to say
I have eaten the plums that...
ahh, fuck it. k, bye!
posted by not_on_display at 2:09 PM on February 29, 2008

Between the Desire
and the Spasm
Falls the Pancake.
posted by everichon at 2:13 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

You're still wrong, but I
Must reserve pointless chatter
For the baby now.

(See you in 16 years.)
posted by onlyconnect at 2:30 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

it's ok. I'm used
to being SILENCED ALL MY
LIFE. fuck you. I'm out.
posted by shmegegge at 2:35 PM on February 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

No more, my presence
will you have; nor my football.
I'm taking it home.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:38 PM on February 29, 2008 [3 favorites]

Like my single link
YouTube post about ferrets,
Poof I'm gone. (So there!)
posted by onlyconnect at 3:00 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Bah. Anathema
Maranatha on you all,
all you fucknuggets.
posted by languagehat at 3:02 PM on February 29, 2008

Lately my lawn is growing
So crowded
No room left for me; adieu.
posted by Tehanu at 3:15 PM on February 29, 2008

languagehat, listen -
your curses grow tiresome
fucknutmuppetvoice
posted by vronsky at 3:18 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

i see the delete
button calling out to me
i say k thnx bi
posted by ND¢ at 3:47 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Why all the haiku? I can't see what started it. Do I have to, too?
posted by flatluigi at 3:49 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Damn it, it got me. At least it's hidden -- nobody can tell.
posted by flatluigi at 3:50 PM on February 29, 2008

Of course, I've doomed it; by posting my free verse here I've made it public.
posted by flatluigi at 3:54 PM on February 29, 2008

flatluigu has interrupted
the haiku train
in a just world, we'd ban for that.
posted by Tehanu at 4:07 PM on February 29, 2008

five syllables on
top of seven syllables
followed by five more
posted by anotherpanacea at 4:26 PM on February 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

is this the longboat? What happened to jonmc?
posted by anotherpanacea at 4:27 PM on February 29, 2008

This is not the longboat. This is the SS Minnow and you are Gilligan.
posted by wendell at 4:37 PM on February 29, 2008

Fuck you all to Hell
Your smarmy echo chamber
Brought blade, leaving hand
posted by SteveTheRed at 4:41 PM on February 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

enforcing meter
programatically proves to
be harder than I
posted by Skorgu at 4:41 PM on February 29, 2008 [4 favorites]

G-Gosh skipper sir!
I wish I'd packed more undies
For this three hour tour....
posted by anotherpanacea at 4:55 PM on February 29, 2008

Tehanu: flatluigu has interrupted
the haiku train
in a just world, we'd ban for that.

But, no, Tehanu! I am as versed as the rest, I just don't break lines.
Test it out yourself; I hold myself to standards polysyllabic.
posted by flatluigi at 4:57 PM on February 29, 2008

*Waiting for hermitosis' book entitled "Consequences of Idle Threats Made in Jolly Company" subtitled "languagehat Should Have Heard What I Said at 500"*
posted by Cranberry at 5:12 PM on February 29, 2008

Of course, I'm honored. I'm apparently so good it looks just like prose.
posted by flatluigi at 5:13 PM on February 29, 2008

Huge! I got number 500.

I don't read Metatalk much. This chooly is a grate day for The Henge.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 5:15 PM on February 29, 2008

Me me me me me me me me!

The fah?
posted by uncanny hengeman at 5:18 PM on February 29, 2008

With age comes wisdom:
Too much time here; not enough
For porn. See ya, mates!
posted by onlyconnect at 9:45 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

But if people would write a "death" verse, it would be sweet.

online epitaph
on a digi-headstone
over earth, magnet.
posted by carsonb at 9:46 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Oh mods, can't we have
An optional death haiku
At time of flame out?
posted by onlyconnect at 10:06 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

No pony for you.
No pony! No pony! NO!
No pony, EVER.
posted by not_on_display at 11:14 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

I think the moderators should be obligated to write an "obituary" for each departing member.*

* I imagine most of them, like my own, would be "who?" or perhaps even "who cares?"
posted by maxwelton at 11:38 PM on February 29, 2008

Username's broken
Only a second haiku
Could have warned me off.
posted by cgc373 at 2:36 AM on March 1, 2008

Motherfucking asswipes,
You'll be sorry when I'm gone!
Choke on your keyboards.
posted by Dave Faris at 4:48 AM on March 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

Not even angry.
Even though you broke my heart,
I'm still alive.
posted by Dave Faris at 6:43 AM on March 1, 2008

(FAIL)
posted by Dave Faris at 6:47 AM on March 1, 2008

A MeFite from close to Nantucket
Chose to kick the virtual bucket.
"I'd like to explain
What I found so insane,
But I see that I can't - so, fuck it."
posted by yhbc at 9:35 AM on March 1, 2008 [2 favorites]

If hermitosis hadn't left that day
I might be getting finished with my work
Instead of writing comments in the grey
About how everybody is a jerk
posted by Sys Rq at 1:03 PM on March 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

To post, or not to post, ay, there's the rub...
To post... perchance to rant. Ah, that is fun.
To burn the bridges I had built. Yes, yes!
You chuckleheads! You fucknuts! Go to hell!
posted by not_on_display at 1:35 PM on March 1, 2008 [2 favorites]

I like it how the comment still has exactly 500 favorites, even though just about 100 people have favorited the comment since the time stamp on this MeTa post announcing 500 favorites.
posted by dgaicun at 4:56 PM on March 1, 2008

Fixed that for you.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:31 PM on March 1, 2008

It's been in roughly the same place - give or take 10 favorites - since this post started, despite the fact that at least 100 of the original people have unfavorited the comment. It's in equilibrium.
posted by dgaicun at 6:11 PM on March 1, 2008

dgaicun: "Sure, but I think the key word is "active". jonmc and wendell post almost every day in multiple threads, making them prominent members. While the most recent comment you listed there was from a month and a half ago! Not really that "active"."

In the interest of roughly balancing old-ness against activity, I've come up with the more or less arbitrary¹ metric² of (total comments in the last month)/(user id)^1/3. These are the most active folks with the highest score:

   213.0 mathowie3 (user 1)
149.8 jonmc† (user 58)
92.2 jessamyn3 (user 292)
85.2 smackfu (user 320)
54.3 cortex3 (user 7418)
42.9 Steven C. Den Beste (user 462)
39.6 wendell (user 206)
36.0 nickyskye (user 1228)
31.5 ZachsMind (user 588)
30.6 languagehat (user 14752)

¹ An indirect linear relationship with user id weighted way too much towards the very-old and sorta-active like jjg and pb, and even fraying was in the top 20. Square-root was a bit better, but cube-root seemed to balance things out pretty well.
² "last month" ≡ Jan 24 to Feb 24, the month preceding the last infodump.
³ administrator
^† self-exiled
posted by Plutor at 10:40 AM on March 3, 2008 [2 favorites]

Damn you, <pre> tag.
posted by Plutor at 10:42 AM on March 3, 2008

I sat down with <pre> tag and discussed some issues; it turns out that he feels like he might need some space, but he's willing to give intimacy another shot for now.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:05 AM on March 3, 2008

I love you, cortex.
posted by Plutor at 12:48 PM on March 3, 2008

Does that mean I get to be an admin now?
posted by smackfu at 4:54 PM on March 3, 2008

No, it means we have to move you to a higher usernumber.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:19 PM on March 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

Okay, this seems as appropriate a place as any for me to re-float my request that the "Disable me" page includes a box in which you type your mandatory death haiku before you leave. Seventeen syllables to sum everything up seems about right. I think we could create some beautiful poetry together.
posted by onlyconnect at 7:32 PM on March 3, 2008

Oh dear. Wrong thread. Sorry, guys!
posted by onlyconnect at 7:34 PM on March 3, 2008

ritual self-ban
knife in belly, over, up
posted in wrong thread
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:41 PM on March 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

Since this thread has kind of degenerated into nerd navel gazing, I'll ask a question that occurred to me recently- how many Steven Den Bestes are there, or more accurately, have there been? I thought there was the old user ID, then he forgot the password after taking a few years off and opened a new account (with a higher user number, naturally), but now I see the old low-number Steven posting again - or is that a different low-number Steven entirely?

<apologies if this isn't remotely interesting to anyone else, or if everyone else thinks I'm a little strange for even wondering about it, but hey - there you go.
posted by yhbc at 7:58 PM on March 3, 2008

small tag, dammit, small tag.
posted by yhbc at 7:59 PM on March 3, 2008

There's Steven C. Den Beste, and then there's Steven Den Beste, both three-digiters. They were registered seven days apart, and although they have different email addresses and home cities and websites, they both have "chizumatic" in their URL. But other than this joke comment, the latter hasn't had any activity since 2002.
posted by Plutor at 4:42 AM on March 4, 2008

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to right. Here I am stuck in MetaTalk wi' you.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:41 AM on March 6, 2008

Well your profile page has nothin'
And you're proud you made 500, man
And your friends they all start bawlin'
Take their favorite back and say
Pleeeeease
Pleeeeease
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:49 AM on March 6, 2008 [1 favorite]

Okay, I want him back, the way he was. We've had our fun. The new handle is annoying me. So, I dunno, favorite this comment if you want hermitosis reinstated?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:03 PM on March 6, 2008 [3 favorites]

So, I dunno, favorite this comment if you want hermitosis reinstated?

If he hadn't disabled the other hermitosii, he could have had another thread just to debate it with himselves.
posted by Tehanu at 4:50 PM on March 6, 2008

If he hadn't disabled the other hermitosii

I'm pretty sure the plural of hermitosis is hermitoses.

Just, y'know fyi.
posted by dersins at 5:28 PM on March 6, 2008

I had the correct version at first, but then it occurred to me that hermitoses sounds very normal, which is no way an accurate description of the event. No, this calls for a word that's a bit strange, a bit fun, and so very wrong. hermitosii.
posted by Tehanu at 6:08 PM on March 6, 2008

I'll ask a question that occurred to me recently- how many Steven Den Bestes are there, or more accurately, have there been?

Online ?

Enough to fill a strip club.

In real life ?

Half a lap dance or so.
posted by y2karl at 8:05 PM on March 7, 2008