Friend? Neighbor? Spouse? SWORN ENEMY?

November 3, 2007 6:30 PM

"Keep your (MetaFilter) friends close and your enemies closer," a Contacts Pony Request.

With the incredibly increased functionality of Contacts (for which I thank you thank you thank you), we should recognize that there is value in keeping Contacts with people who are not friends, family, neighbors, cow orkers or *ILFs, and checking off none of the 'relationship' boxes is just not enough.

Could we (pretty please with organic sugar on it) have options for things like "arch rival" or "nemesis", "usual suspect", "perpetrator of unforgivable act", "guilty pleasure" (for those you find so stupid as to be entertaining) or "someone I NEVER want to meet in real life" (to avoid bad scenes at Meetups)...

I make these suggestions for Labels will full awareness that all of them will be used against me.

posted by wendell to Feature Requests at 6:30 PM (50 comments total)

I always wanted a stealth contact feature...

I rather like "usualy suspect," though.
posted by idest at 6:36 PM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]

This is a bad idea.
posted by Tuwa at 6:38 PM on November 3, 2007

I think the labels need to be cleaned up, for sure. What's the difference between co-worker and colleague? What about all the family relationships left out of the family list (cousin, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, in-law)? And why is the term "date" needed- would you mention that someone is your date if they were not also your "sweetheart", "crush" or "spouse"?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:38 PM on November 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

No. No you can't. timeistight built it originally, and he said no. You can read the XFN background page for more, although I notice that the XFN syntax allows for "me" and we don't use that here. So, for those too lazy to click, in the "deliberate limitations" section it says....

Positive or neutral relationships only

Negative relationship terms have been omitted from XFN by design. The authors think that such values would not serve a positive ends and thus made the deliberate decision to leave them out. Such terms (we won't even bother naming them here) while mildly entertaining in a dark humor sort of way, only serve to propagate negativity.

The authors do not deny that such negative relationships exist in the real world today. Of course they exist. However, we see no need nor benefit to standardizing such relationships and capturing them in a form which would spread on the Web. There is enough hatred in the world. We should work to eliminate hatred, not to spread it.

And we do realize that by creating XFN and the mechanisms it uses (XMDP), we have opened a Pandora's box, and have made it easier for those that would create and propagate negative relationships. We can only hope that our positive creation wins out over any such negative creations.

posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:40 PM on November 3, 2007 [5 favorites]

Would you - or others - really spend time identifying people as NONtacts?

There are a few people here who are so annoying that I remember their names and avoid their contributions. If I need to add them to a list to remember that I dislike them, it is probably better to just forget.
posted by necessitas at 6:41 PM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]

Ahh, that XFN background piece is very interesting. I wish we had "kin" as an option here.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:43 PM on November 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, then I just have to start work on "XXFN 2.OhOh"...
posted by wendell at 6:50 PM on November 3, 2007

Well, there is one other alternative, if you use the word "crush" the way Red Robot does... (proving that even a system designed to avoid negativity may not be able to do so)
posted by wendell at 6:55 PM on November 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

I don't have a problem with anyone except those cow orkers. They shit all over the place, and every time they laugh, milk comes out of their nose.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:00 PM on November 3, 2007 [3 favorites]

i just wish i could make someone a contact without having extra windows/tabs open up.
posted by quonsar at 7:07 PM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]

and it would be nice to end up where i started after adding a contact.
posted by quonsar at 7:08 PM on November 3, 2007 [3 favorites]

because, you know, timeistight.
posted by quonsar at 7:09 PM on November 3, 2007 [5 favorites]

Apparently this is already implemented
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:39 PM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]

Oh, write 'em in your Trapper Keeper.
posted by klangklangston at 7:45 PM on November 3, 2007

*ILFs

___blank___ I'd Like to Favorite?
posted by Eideteker at 7:46 PM on November 3, 2007

What's the difference between co-worker and colleague?

As far as this one, I have a good friend from when we wrked with the same company for several years. Now I'm at a different company, but in the same field. We used to be coworkers, now he's a colleague.

From Miriam-Webster: "colleague: an associate in a profession or in a civil or ecclesiastical office"
posted by pupdog at 7:57 PM on November 3, 2007

I said this and I meant it. I mean you, Wendell!
posted by SassHat at 7:57 PM on November 3, 2007

Good for timeistight. That is great.
posted by unknowncommand at 8:02 PM on November 3, 2007

Exactly, Eideteker.
posted by blacklite at 8:03 PM on November 3, 2007

The contacts were originally free-form but, as you can imagine, that didn't work out so well. "Kin" and "me" didn't get added until XFN 1.1, after the contacts form was filtered, and they never got added. I think they'd be useful.
posted by timeistight at 10:03 PM on November 3, 2007

...but I still think negative relationships would be a mistake.
posted by timeistight at 10:05 PM on November 3, 2007

Regarding my contacts who aren't labelled, I am happy to keep my further thoughts under wraps.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:06 PM on November 3, 2007

If you want it published that someone is your nemesis, say so here why don't you.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:07 PM on November 3, 2007

On the other hand -- Utu.
posted by chrismear at 10:42 PM on November 3, 2007

no, negativity is bad, negativity built into the system is even more bad, this will not wendell
posted by caddis at 10:54 PM on November 3, 2007

To go with that last comment I would have added wendell as a contact, but I think he was the first contact I added years ago. Anyway, to promote community it is better to focus on the positive, not the negative.
posted by caddis at 10:57 PM on November 3, 2007

Implementing "me" would make keeping track of sockpuppets much easier.
posted by drumcorpse at 11:03 PM on November 3, 2007

Waaaaait a sec... how did Pretty_Generic do that?

Before it was fixed, it was very, very easy to use a simple injection exploit.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:31 PM on November 3, 2007

We need a separate hit list, with proposed modes of liquidation. Some by fire, some by the sword; all will fall alike before my ever-victorious legions! Bwahahah!
posted by Abiezer at 12:51 AM on November 4, 2007

I wish we had "kin" as an option here.

I wish we had 'kin asshole as an option.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:03 AM on November 4, 2007 [4 favorites]

necessitas: Congratulations! You've used the word "NONtacts" in this thread, and said usage shows up already as only the second entry in a Google search of the word! Between this and stavrosthewonderchicken's coining of the word "uncontactize" here, all this new social networky stuff at MeFi is, at the very least, expanding the lexicon!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:41 AM on November 4, 2007

Fucktacts.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:05 AM on November 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

Fucktacts.

asstacts
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:05 AM on November 4, 2007

motacts

nomotacts

pyschotacts

extacts

phattacts

modtacts

cotacts

familytacts

sweettacts
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:08 AM on November 4, 2007

I dunno, Brandon, I think you're trying a little too hard there. Or, as James Brown put it, talkin' loud and sayin' nothin'.

Except for maybe extacts. That one ain't bad.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:20 AM on November 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

I maintain my list of enemies off line on a secure server. I suggest others do the same.
posted by psmealey at 6:25 AM on November 4, 2007

There are several users who I think of as 'worthy adversary,' in that I agree with them about almost nothing, but I like their style and enjoy arguing with them. That would be a cool option.
posted by jonmc at 7:36 AM on November 4, 2007

How about "slut," "rocker," "punt-return blocker," "the man," "got moves," "triple threat," "stumble, fumble, and fall," "shitbird," "slap-happy," "get in line," and "sticker shock?"
posted by breezeway at 8:57 AM on November 4, 2007

So wait, "family" and "coworker" aren't negative terms anymore?
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:30 AM on November 4, 2007

I think breezeway has just created a whole new bag of conversation hearts. When, exactly, would shitbird be appropriate?
posted by necessitas at 9:06 AM on November 4, 2007

"Shitbird" works when you're out of "dick wrinkle" and "greasy fuck."
posted by breezeway at 10:22 AM on November 4, 2007

checking off none of the 'relationship' boxes is just not enough.

Yes it is.
posted by languagehat at 10:41 AM on November 4, 2007

So wait, "family" and "coworker" aren't negative terms anymore?


good one. And the coworker ones get particularly complicated for those working from home, doesn't it?
posted by micayetoca at 11:14 AM on November 4, 2007

I'm fond of sweettacts.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:53 PM on November 4, 2007

You're all going on my list.
posted by pupdog at 1:52 PM on November 4, 2007

Before it was fixed, it was very, very easy to use a simple injection exploit.

When was that? Sometime since May?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 5:46 PM on November 4, 2007

while we're on the topic, is there a way for me to view all the users i have favourited comments/posts of, so, for example, i could see i've favourited 25 comments from a particular user, that i might add them as a contact so i can stalk them?
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 9:42 PM on November 4, 2007

SweetTacts makes me imagine the faces of people I care about trapped in round confectionaries in primary colors, then stacked on top of each other. Scary.
posted by salvia at 9:52 PM on November 4, 2007

I like contards.

Also, rather than crush or muse, sometimes CILF is the most appropriate.

or is that just me?
posted by misha at 11:28 AM on November 5, 2007

Remember, remember, the 5th of November...

Happy Guy Fawkes Day, everyone!
posted by y2karl at 12:04 PM on November 5, 2007