clavs halloween poll

October 30, 2007 8:40 AM

If you could be any spy for halloween, who would you be?

I think I skipped a year and it is early but Happy halloween Metafilter

posted by clavdivs to MetaFilter Gatherings at 8:40 AM (82 comments total)

i think id be Admiral Canaris
posted by clavdivs at 8:41 AM on October 30, 2007

Red. Or maybe blue. Probably red.
posted by hindmost at 8:45 AM on October 30, 2007

White. Or maybe black. Probably black.
posted by Wolfdog at 8:48 AM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

A Bothan.
posted by ND¢ at 8:50 AM on October 30, 2007

Umm, the kind that posts these kind of questions to ask.metafilter.com so they can be deleted as chatfilter?
posted by blue_beetle at 8:51 AM on October 30, 2007

Nick Fury, Agent of Shield
posted by doctor_negative at 8:53 AM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

Northern Spy
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:56 AM on October 30, 2007

Number 6.
posted by drezdn at 9:00 AM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

Harry Palmer.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 9:02 AM on October 30, 2007

A Spyker.
posted by saladin at 9:06 AM on October 30, 2007

I think I skipped a year
you were here last year and 2004, but you did indeed miss 2005, which has been noted on your permanent record. I would be Officer Crabtree.
posted by patricio at 9:13 AM on October 30, 2007

Raspy. Maybe Lispy.
posted by cashman at 9:14 AM on October 30, 2007

What? No spies in the house of love?
posted by crush-onastick at 9:15 AM on October 30, 2007

The rotting charred bodies of the Rosenbergs.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 9:20 AM on October 30, 2007

Flint.
posted by adamrice at 9:24 AM on October 30, 2007

The spy who loved me.

Because I need some love.
posted by slogger at 9:24 AM on October 30, 2007

I'd be clavdivs and spy on MetaFilter.

(hi clavdivs!)
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:25 AM on October 30, 2007

Michael Westen.

Bruce Campbell as a drunken, lecherous, best friend, and Gabrielle Anwar as a borderline sociopathic, gun-running girlfriend?

Sounds perfect.
posted by quin at 9:27 AM on October 30, 2007

Agent 355.
posted by Tehanu at 9:34 AM on October 30, 2007

A spy in the House of Love.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:35 AM on October 30, 2007

Tehanu: you read the newest issue? I... goddamnit I don't want to spoil it but I want to discuss how it made me feel. Grargh.
posted by heeeraldo at 9:36 AM on October 30, 2007

Gator.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:41 AM on October 30, 2007

My name isn't important, but my sidekick would TOTALLY be named "My Little Eye."
posted by nkknkk at 9:41 AM on October 30, 2007

Willie Caine, if I could pull it off (and didn't have to shave).
posted by klangklangston at 9:47 AM on October 30, 2007

Mata Hari.
posted by Lynsey at 10:02 AM on October 30, 2007

I could never be a spy. I'd just be the humble proprietor of a small import business.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:06 AM on October 30, 2007

Zartan, Master of Disguise
posted by mattbucher at 10:08 AM on October 30, 2007

Harriet.
posted by GrammarMoses at 10:14 AM on October 30, 2007

John Steed. "Oh, Emma, where are you?"
posted by caddis at 10:24 AM on October 30, 2007

I'd be a pretty sucky spy of you could tell who I was. If I were going to be a spy, I'd come disguised as your momma and you'd never even know it.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 10:25 AM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

John Thurloe or Kang Sheng. Dark genius behind the brutal post-revolutionary regime type.
posted by Abiezer at 10:25 AM on October 30, 2007

Danger Mouse
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:26 AM on October 30, 2007

Was Emma Peel's husband a spy? Cause if so, i'd be that guy.

Hell, in my head when I sleep, I'm that guy rather often.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 10:27 AM on October 30, 2007

Is that guy a Viking?
posted by GrammarMoses at 10:28 AM on October 30, 2007

...or is it a metaphor for excelling?
posted by heeeraldo at 10:37 AM on October 30, 2007

William Stevenson or Nick Furry, Agent of SHEEP.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:40 AM on October 30, 2007

Agent 99, or any number but 13.
posted by misha at 10:41 AM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

Tehanu: you read the newest issue? I... goddamnit I don't want to spoil it but I want to discuss how it made me feel. Grargh.

No, I'm still working my way through the trades of earlier issues. But I heard about it, so I feel for you. I'm sure I'll be upset and it'll take me some time to process it all when I get to that one.
posted by Tehanu at 10:45 AM on October 30, 2007

Animated Spy vs. Spy! I never knew!
posted by Wolfdog at 10:45 AM on October 30, 2007

Violette Szabo.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:46 AM on October 30, 2007

Valerie Plame.
posted by Reggie Digest at 10:50 AM on October 30, 2007

Ooh, if I could come up with a reasonable outfit, I could go as Francis Bacon!
posted by klangklangston at 10:53 AM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

One of your rasher decisions, klang.
I'll be here all weak, like my puns.
posted by Abiezer at 11:01 AM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

The Black Spy of course. He's obviously cooler than the White Spy.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 11:01 AM on October 30, 2007

AT&T.
posted by pb (staff) at 11:04 AM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

I would be the kind of spy who would cleverly cover his spyness by commenting on Metafilter that he'd like to be some completely unrelated and relatively innocuous spy so as to convince people that he couldn't possibly be the incredible and extraordinary spy he actually is in real life.

Er, I mean, um, the pink panther.
posted by koeselitz at 11:08 AM on October 30, 2007

Homeland Security.

J/K.

Aldrich Ames?
posted by C17H19NO3 at 11:08 AM on October 30, 2007

Or, geez, I'd probably be The Prisoner before he got nabbed. Not after. Please.
posted by koeselitz at 11:09 AM on October 30, 2007

Sid Khartoum
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:21 AM on October 30, 2007

The spy who came down with a cold.
posted by pracowity at 11:31 AM on October 30, 2007

maxpower
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 11:36 AM on October 30, 2007

Bill Cosby.
posted by octobersurprise at 11:41 AM on October 30, 2007

Christopher Marlowe with a dagger jammed in above your right eye. Memorize "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love" and use it as a very long pickup line.
posted by pracowity at 11:41 AM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

jenleigh
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 11:48 AM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

Boris Badenov. Duh.

And hope you run into a Natasha, or a moosandsquirrel.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:59 AM on October 30, 2007

The Spy (Part 1)
posted by ludwig_van at 12:00 PM on October 30, 2007

Spy spy spy spy
Spy spy spy spy
Spy spy spy spy
Spy spy spy spy
Spy
posted by ColdChef at 12:02 PM on October 30, 2007

I got a double major in criminology
You'd have to be invisible to get past me
posted by Wolfdog at 12:08 PM on October 30, 2007

Either Harry Palmer or George Smiley.
posted by Rangeboy at 12:08 PM on October 30, 2007

Emma Peel. Sorry caddis, I've already got a Steed in mind.

Alternately, Vindice from The Revengers Tragedy. Because I loves me a good Jacobean revenge drama.
posted by desuetude at 12:36 PM on October 30, 2007

in a fictional role...george smiley. Iv'e got the paunch.
(hey kevs(
thanks matt and jess for not deleting.

or perhaps michael chapman
posted by clavdivs at 12:38 PM on October 30, 2007

eddie chapman
posted by clavdivs at 12:40 PM on October 30, 2007

Inspector gadget.
posted by piratebowling at 12:48 PM on October 30, 2007

Good spies never reveal their identity.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:20 PM on October 30, 2007

but what about the evil spies?
posted by caddis at 1:23 PM on October 30, 2007

Sorry caddis, I've already got a Steed in mind.

I think my wife would be rather upset if I let anyone else but her play Emma to my Steed.
posted by caddis at 1:25 PM on October 30, 2007

Billy-Ray Valentine: I ain't seen nothing since I stepped on that landmine in Vietnam. It was very painful.

Philly Cop 1: You were in 'Nam? So were we. Where?

Billy-Ray Valentine: I was in...Sang Bang...Dang Gong...I was all over the place, a lot of places.

Philly Cop 2: What unit?

Billy-Ray Valentine: I was with the Green Berets, Special Unit Battalion...Commando Airborne Tactics...Specialist Tactics Unit Battalion. Yeah, it was real hush hush. I was Agent Orange, Special Agent Orange, that was me.
posted by Sk4n at 1:28 PM on October 30, 2007

I think my wife would be rather upset if I let anyone else but her play Emma to my Steed.

[shrug] Shouldn't you be Peter Peel to her Emma?
posted by desuetude at 1:32 PM on October 30, 2007

he is lost and presumed dead I believe
posted by caddis at 1:42 PM on October 30, 2007

caddis: he came back. That's why Emma left.
posted by crush-onastick at 1:50 PM on October 30, 2007

here it is: the Forget-me-knot: "
Peter Peel--Air ace found alive in Amazonian jungle-- WIFE EMMA WAITS"
posted by crush-onastick at 1:54 PM on October 30, 2007

Solid Snake.
posted by Cassilda at 2:15 PM on October 30, 2007

My Emma and I are not yet to that episode. This Halloween we get to party like it's 1967. ;)
posted by caddis at 2:30 PM on October 30, 2007

Since I'm a paunchy dude with a desk job, it'd work best if I went as Robert Hanssen.
posted by rocketman at 2:32 PM on October 30, 2007

I think I skipped a year

I think I skipped to my lou, but you don't see me posting about it. Commenting, sure, but posting? There are limits, in any polite society.
posted by Eideteker at 4:19 PM on October 30, 2007

I do not like spies. Fuckers keep sapping my sentrys and dispensers while I wave my wrench around like a spastic orangutan. Die, spies! [/TF2]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:04 PM on October 30, 2007

I'd be Brian Cruikshank.
posted by carsonb at 8:44 PM on October 30, 2007

I'd have to be the guy from the NSA who wanted me to hack the CIA for him. Or maybe the guy from the UN who wanted me to hack the CIA for him but when I said no he explained he meant the Culinary Institute of America not the Central Intelligence Agency. Basically, everybody wants to hack the CIA for some reason or other, or have me do it for them. Anyway, I'd be one of them for Halloween.
posted by scalefree at 10:08 PM on October 30, 2007

Harry Palmer
posted by jrb223 at 10:11 PM on October 30, 2007

John Drake
posted by mumkin at 1:46 AM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]

Sidney Reilly.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:23 AM on October 31, 2007

George Kaplan

Excellent... but the question is, to be the mythical Kaplan.. or Roger Thornhill.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 10:21 PM on October 31, 2007