Did he or didn't he? Snort, that is.

April 4, 2007 3:14 PM

So apparently Keith Richards didn't snort his father's ashes. At least according to MTV.
posted by reklaw to MetaFilter-Related at 3:14 PM (28 comments total)

I post this here lest the Metafilter community forever thinks that Keith Richards snorted his father's ashes. When he didn't. He says.
posted by reklaw at 3:14 PM on April 4, 2007

yup
posted by puke & cry at 3:21 PM on April 4, 2007

Ha, I didn't realise someone had sneaked that link into another post after the first one got nuked...

It was a good story, damnit. A legend died today.
posted by reklaw at 3:22 PM on April 4, 2007

How can you believe the word of a man who SNORTED HIS DEAD FATHER'S ASHES?!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:23 PM on April 4, 2007 [3 favorites]

Ha, I didn't realise someone had sneaked that link into another post after the first one got nuked...
Dude, if you're referring to my comment, for the record I posted it six minutes before the front page post. More sneaky than you think!
posted by exogenous at 3:31 PM on April 4, 2007

Reuters is now saying he put the ashes in a box, next to a vaporizer, connected to a circuit containing a switch reacting to the reading of a Geiger counter analyzing a minute quantity of neptunium. He then blindfolded himself, put his head in the box, and sniffed; thus according to Heisenburg, Keith Richards simultaneously did and did not snort his dead father's ashes.
posted by thirteenkiller at 3:34 PM on April 4, 2007 [4 favorites]

I'm sure Courtney Love snorted Cobain's ashes, though
posted by matteo at 3:35 PM on April 4, 2007

off of Trent Reznor's ass probably.
posted by jonmc at 3:42 PM on April 4, 2007

using Prince's removed lower rib as a tube.
posted by thirteenkiller at 3:46 PM on April 4, 2007

Your favorite guitarist's father's ashes are blow. Possibly.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:46 PM on April 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

[more inside]
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:49 PM on April 4, 2007

[possibly]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:49 PM on April 4, 2007

[maybe not]
posted by French Fry at 3:55 PM on April 4, 2007

LOL CREDIBLE MUSICAL JOURNALISTZ AND BLOGOSPEREZ!
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:56 PM on April 4, 2007

HURF DURF ASH SNORTER
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 4:03 PM on April 4, 2007

have you seen your mother baby, snorting in the shadows?
posted by pyramid termite at 4:12 PM on April 4, 2007

"I'm sure Courtney Love snorted Cobain's ashes, though"

Or blew Keith Richards' dad.

Some combination of the above, anyway.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:14 PM on April 4, 2007

Oh, if a vision of the Jack Daniels fueled, mixed-up ashes of Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth being offered up in baggies on eBay following their mysterious (and possibly hoax-y) immolated deaths could please leave my mind right now.
posted by Cyrano at 5:49 PM on April 4, 2007

WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL ALL THE FACTS ARE IN.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:52 PM on April 4, 2007

I support the voluntary smoking of carbonized ash. [NOT CREMATIONIST]
posted by Rhomboid at 6:08 PM on April 4, 2007

HEY, MetaTalk is NOT shitty FPPs that could make it to MeFi. It's for real problems, like why does dios suck/rule so much? Or if Matt Haughey is, in fact, quonsar. Get it right n00bs.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 6:57 PM on April 4, 2007

couldn't, damnit. This is why I don't drink and post.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 6:58 PM on April 4, 2007

MICK JAGGER'S LIPS
DAVID BOWIE'S COCK
KEITH RICHARD'S DADDY
WHITNEY HOUSTON'S ROCK
WHITNEY HOUSTON'S ROCK
KEITH RICHARD'S DADDY
DAVID BOWIE'S COCK
MICK JAGGER'S LIPS

KEITH RICHARD'S DADDY
KEITH RICHARD'S DADDY
KEITH RICHARD'S DADDY
KEITH RICHARD'S DADDY
KEITH RICHARD'S DADDY
KEITH RICHARD'S DADDY
KEITH RICHARD'S DADDY
KEITH RICHARD'S DADDY
KEITH RICHARD'S DADDY
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:47 PM on April 4, 2007

Well, thats' a nice new word: fathersnorter!
Try it: Sez you, ya... fathersnorter!
posted by Termite at 10:48 PM on April 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

Most people don't know that Keef's deepest, most secret addiction is his clandestine love of accounting, as evidenced by the working titles of many Stones songs:

Gimme (A Tax) Shelter
10-40 Blues
Sympathy For The Dependants
It's Only a T-4(But I Like It)
Paid It Back
You Can't Always Get What You're Owed
Let's Spend The Refund Together
Due Due Due Due Due (Bankbreaker)
Line 66

What the man actually said, before he was egregiously misquoted, was he had sorted his late father's assets.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:59 PM on April 4, 2007 [1 favorite]

Alvy, those working titles look more like the work of Mick Jagger-- trained in accounting at the London School of Economics.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:33 AM on April 5, 2007

I should've put "working titles" in quotes to signal to the literal-minded types that I know Alvy is joking. "You know those aren't actually Rolling Stone song titles, right?" Right.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:44 AM on April 5, 2007

Well, Mick Jagger still gave Jeff Spicoli that gold bracelet after they did blow together, I don't care what anybody says.

And no, Spicoli has never bonged through wine, although his teacher tells him you haven't lived until you've bonged through wine.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:22 AM on April 5, 2007