cortextulations! February 28, 2007 10:18 AM Subscribe

I, for one, would like to welcome our new overlord.
posted by timeistight to MetaFilter-Related at 10:18 AM (225 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

cortex has has "for the moment, admin rights." That means I've met two thirds of the admins.

I'm not expecting much special treatment, though.
posted by timeistight at 10:18 AM on February 28, 2007

::gasp::

i'm okay with this as long as all of his deletions or bannings are in the form of a song.
posted by lazaruslong at 10:22 AM on February 28, 2007

cortexfilter again? Let the sucking up begin!

posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:26 AM on February 28, 2007

Let the sucking up begin!

Why do you think I posted this?
posted by timeistight at 10:30 AM on February 28, 2007

So is it mattex or cortowie deleting posts now?
posted by Bugg at 10:30 AM on February 28, 2007

All of this already happened a few threads down. Including the discussion on how to properly concatenate the names.
posted by danb at 10:32 AM on February 28, 2007

Damn... must remember to read entire backlog of MetaTalk before attempting jokey comment.
posted by Bugg at 10:35 AM on February 28, 2007

SWEET BUTTFUCKING JESUS STOP CONCATENATING THEIR NAMES OR I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND LEAVE A FLAMING TWO THIRDS SCALE SCULPTURE OF HITLER DOING A D&C ON RACHEL RAY MADE OUT OF HUMAN FECES AND DIESEL FUEL ON YOUR LIVING ROOM FLOOR.
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:37 AM CST on February 28 [+]
[!]

Also, on observation of previous thread, I didn't mean it, I swear.
posted by Bugg at 10:37 AM on February 28, 2007

Too late, Bugg.

*holds banhammer a bit unsteadily, takes practice swing*
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:38 AM on February 28, 2007

*sheepishly tests posting ability*
posted by Bugg at 10:44 AM on February 28, 2007

Well, I ain't welcoming him until the results from the drug test are back.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 10:44 AM on February 28, 2007

Dude, hold the small part; it works better that way.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:48 AM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, cortex welcomed me aboard when I signed up last week, so here's a big ass-kissing congratulations!!

Yes, I know ... "Be quiet and let the grown-ups talk, Koko".
posted by Koko at 10:51 AM on February 28, 2007

I seem to remember that cortex's sole campaign promise was to personally delete all youtube posts.
posted by R. Mutt at 10:55 AM on February 28, 2007

I would actually like a FLAMING TWO THIRDS SCALE SCULPTURE OF HITLER DOING A D&C ON RACHEL RAY MADE OUT OF HUMAN FECES AND DIESEL FUEL ON YOUR LIVING ROOM FLOOR.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:05 AM on February 28, 2007 [2 favorites]

This thread is useless without pictures. and songs.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:07 AM on February 28, 2007

Post a Thread on MetaTalk:

Category [?]:

bugs
feature requests
etiquette/policy
uptime
Metafilter-related
Metafilter gatherings
Metafilter Music
Bitch about two-week AskMe limit
Bitch about deletion
Bitch about being offended
Bitch about dios
Kiss cortex's ass

Can we just add something to the FAQ along these lines:

Does everyone know how awesome cortex is?

Yes we know.
posted by ND¢ at 11:08 AM on February 28, 2007

Huh. You know, I can add to the FAQ now...

Followup: I mean, seriously, isn't he just to die for?

OMG I totally know what you mean!

LOL!

LOL!
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:13 AM on February 28, 2007 [3 favorites]

HANG ON FLO I'M JUST LOADING UP ON SAUERKRAUT AND PBRS, IF SOMEONE CAN LOAN ME A FIVE GALLON GAS CAN, YOU CAN EXPECT YOUR PERSONALIZED COPY OF "JEEZ ADOLPH DO YOU KEEP THAT THING IN THE FREEZER?" SOMETIME IN Q3.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:15 AM on February 28, 2007 [2 favorites]

cortextulations? ><
posted by prostyle at 11:15 AM on February 28, 2007

Uh-oh

Bah! The gifts you Mefites sent me will not win any favors! Now that I am ruler of MetaFilter, my first command is that every Mefite replace their flag with a cortex flag like this one!

posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:18 AM on February 28, 2007

SWEET!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:18 AM on February 28, 2007

divine_wino: I've got a fiver to donate to your intriguing enterprise.
posted by boo_radley at 11:19 AM on February 28, 2007

Le Reine Est Mort, Vive Le Roi Cortex!
posted by geoff. at 11:19 AM on February 28, 2007

Hey cortex, why don't you practice your admin powers by deleting that shitty conspiracy theory post on the blue with a link to your asshat song?
posted by dios at 11:23 AM on February 28, 2007

Too late. #1 beat you to it. Guess you will have to practice elsewhere.
posted by dios at 11:26 AM on February 28, 2007

I'm keeping my paws off deletions-for-mehness situations for the time being, dios. If you make an obvious double, however, I will be happy to wreak holy vengeance.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:28 AM on February 28, 2007

Le Reine Est Mort

Hey now, let's not get dramatic. However, extending the metaphor it looks like the minstrel has serenaded his way into the palace. Congrats and good luck, cortex.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 11:37 AM on February 28, 2007

So am I too late to bitch about dios?
posted by Benny Andajetz at 11:38 AM on February 28, 2007

Does this mean we get a turn being admin? 'Cause I have...ideas.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:03 PM on February 28, 2007

O Great and Munificent Emperor Cortex,

You Who Are So Very, Very Wonderful, Kind and Merciful, From Whom All Great and Wonderful Things Flow, next to mathowie and jessamyn To Whom All The Birds And Cute Squirrelly Woodland Creatures gather 'Round, You Who Are Clothed In The Scintillating Light Of Rainbows And Covered In Sugary Chocolate Coatings (with icing, too), Please Bless me and Keep me And Guide my Rash Meta-Posting Hand.

May I always live to serve you and your crown,

exlotuseater
posted by exlotuseater at 12:03 PM on February 28, 2007

+ops plz
posted by exlotuseater at 12:04 PM on February 28, 2007

Off-the-record, the cabal is very pleased to have one of its members get a power-stake in Metafilter. This is something we originally planned a long time ago on #mefi. The plan is finally start to come together.

On the record, there is no cabal.
posted by dios at 12:25 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

I seem to remember that cortex's sole campaign promise was to personally delete all youtube posts.
posted by R. Mutt at 10:55 AM PST on February 28 [+]
[!]

What??? No more Bollywood?

*weep, wail, gnashing of teeth*
posted by infini at 12:26 PM on February 28, 2007

Well, I ain't welcoming him until the results from the drug test are back.
Positive, right? Because then sucking up to him might, you know, lead to new and interesting sources.
posted by plinth at 12:32 PM on February 28, 2007

Is this about cats? No? I don't care, then.
posted by ninjew at 12:34 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

timeistight, you are a consumate asskiss.
posted by interrobang at 12:42 PM on February 28, 2007

As he referenced coyly above, timeistight hung out with Matt and I (and timeistight's lovely lady companion, who rightly rolled her eyes at the lot of the tech nerdery that passed for conversation) for beers at a tiny Portland meetup a while back. He's a right gent, and has The Canada Advantage^TM.

And interrobang, they're talking about you over at Comics Curmudgeon.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:45 PM on February 28, 2007

Wha??
posted by interrobang at 12:50 PM on February 28, 2007

Major-league let-down, dude.
posted by interrobang at 12:51 PM on February 28, 2007

WTF, cortex?
posted by Carbolic at 12:53 PM on February 28, 2007

Oh, jesus christ. I didn't even think about the implications of that statement. I'm sorry, man.

And for anyone completely boggled, interrobang does really great art (including fantastic portraits for the metafilter compilation album) and has lately been drawing a a comic every day. And they're really good.

And as appearing on the Curmudgeon is universally a bad sign for an actual comic, it's good that they weren't talking about your art, man. Right? Eh?

I'm really sorry about that. Eesh.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:03 PM on February 28, 2007

<a href="http://joshreads.com/?p=969">Comics Curmudgeon</a>

For a moment there, I thought you had in your mania created yet another branch to your online emporium sir, all dedicated to comics.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:06 PM on February 28, 2007

I don't trust this "cortex." I've seen pictures. He looks like a dirty hippie.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:25 PM on February 28, 2007

is this something i'd have to have a cortex to understand?
posted by shmegegge at 1:34 PM on February 28, 2007

"He looks like a dirty hippie."

Is there another kind?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:35 PM on February 28, 2007

It would seem so.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:44 PM on February 28, 2007

I'm really sorry about that. Eesh.

It's okay, really.
posted by interrobang at 1:58 PM on February 28, 2007

Good choice, Matt, on covering Jessamyn's vacation. cortex is hardly ever cranky. Are you going to let him keep the keys to your ride when Jess comes back?
posted by Roger Dodger at 1:59 PM on February 28, 2007

Why discuss Cortex using words when we can SING!
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:09 PM on February 28, 2007

c: omg dood ur dream is coming true
i: omg!11
c: jk
i: im sad
c: pwnd
posted by ND¢ at 2:11 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

Did cortex have to get a haircut and wear a suit and tie in order to merit this powerful position?
posted by Cranberry at 2:13 PM on February 28, 2007

Hell, when Jess gets back she and I are gonna kill Matt and sell the site to Ted Turner.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:17 PM on February 28, 2007 [3 favorites]

Ted already owns Montana and maybe Georgia. Do you think he wants Oregon too?
Do not think it is necessary to kill mathowie. Just retire him and build a library for his papers, um, files in his case.
posted by Cranberry at 2:22 PM on February 28, 2007

You might have better luck with Caterina Fake. And you wouldn't have to kill Matt.
posted by timeistight at 2:23 PM on February 28, 2007

no!!!
posted by infini at 3:00 PM on February 28, 2007

OMG Regicide!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:00 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

Eesh.

Head in the clouds, feet of clay. Cortex gets his comeuppance on the second day.
posted by Dave Faris at 3:05 PM on February 28, 2007

And why would someone eat my feet?
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:13 PM on February 28, 2007

I don't trust this "cortex." I've seen pictures. He looks like a dirty hippie.

I've had him in my car, my house, and he even ~~scared~~ played with my kid in person. He's an exceptionally well-groomed hippie.

PS: Mail my CD before I have to fly you down here again just to get it.
posted by scrump at 3:28 PM on February 28, 2007

I have this to say and this only: everywhere in Perth I've been so far, you pay for your internets by the MB. Best of luck, cortex.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:30 PM on February 28, 2007

[posted via lynx - I loves me some accessible websites]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:31 PM on February 28, 2007

Matilda Billabong?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:33 PM on February 28, 2007

MegaBarbie
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:42 PM on February 28, 2007

Finally an admin who pronounces it "MEH-fye." I am represented!
posted by grobstein at 4:18 PM on February 28, 2007

This is a really poor choice. I'm on record as saying the site needs a third or fourth admin, but it shouldn't be somebody with as much visibile history/friendships/grudges as cortex. Admittedly he's usually a nice guy, but appointing a mefi "celebrity" as deputy sheriff? I don't get it.
posted by bardic at 4:23 PM on February 28, 2007

Grudges? What grudges?
posted by timeistight at 4:30 PM on February 28, 2007

Yeah, Matt should totally nominate some unknown quantity instead of a nice guy whose sensible suggestions about improving the site litter every MetaTalk thread.
posted by Kwine at 4:33 PM on February 28, 2007

I want quonsar next up in the rotation.
posted by nj_subgenius at 4:33 PM on February 28, 2007

Nice to see my point is proven within 10 minutes.

But you're exactly right on one thing Kwine, Matt should appoint an unknown quantity to the rest of us. Somebody who doesn't register on people's radars all that much, like Jessamyn used to IMO. Dominating each and every meta thread means he has strong opinions, some of them good. Not much else.
posted by bardic at 4:35 PM on February 28, 2007

People disagreeing with you proves your point exactly how?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:39 PM on February 28, 2007

A mod with a cheering squad is a bad idea.

(Or is it admin? You get my point.)
posted by bardic at 4:41 PM on February 28, 2007

pointer to place in previous thread where the Triune Moderator was revealed in all its splendor. (just for my own record-keeping, y'know)
posted by LobsterMitten at 4:41 PM on February 28, 2007

look, i see what bardic's saying, and let's not pile on him. he has a valid point.

but i think what's important here is that any new admins should be whoever mathowie thinks can do the job and that he trusts to do it, no matter what the rest of us think. although most of us appreciate what parts of mefi are sort of democratically decided, i think it's a largely well understood point that some things simply have to be how mathowie wants it, and that that's one of the strengths of the site and why it works as well as it does. Who gets to be an admin is, to my mind, the very picture of one of those things.
posted by shmegegge at 4:46 PM on February 28, 2007

oh, and for the sake of disclosure, i think cortex would make an awesome admin. i'd like to think that I'd feel the way i stated above even if I didn't think so, though.
posted by shmegegge at 4:47 PM on February 28, 2007

A mod with a cheering squad is a bad idea.

Why? Mathowie and jessamyn have "cheering squads" too, it just goes with the territory of being a widely recognized name. And cortex is a level headed guy who I really can't see ever becoming a power-crazed asshole, so I don't understand what the problem is.
posted by cmonkey at 4:48 PM on February 28, 2007

bardic, there's no denying I comment a lot in Metatalk, but that's a far cry from "dominating each and every meta thread". I have never hoped to and don't intend to start actively trying to shoehorn my opinions into de facto policy—what I like about this place is not the ability to voice my opinions but the ability to have them tested by all the other smart people who hang out on mefi.

To be clear, administrative duty is pretty off the radar stuff. Deleting doubles, fixing broken html in comments, nuking throwaway jokes in askme—that's what I'm doing, not lording personal policy or steering the site anymore.

I like that I have friends here, but I don't expect that to somehow mitigate any bad administrative behavior, if that's the implication, nor will I hold off on due diligence just because I like the person making the mess. I like a lot of mefites—I'd go mad if I tried something like that.

And I've been trying for a long time to avoid anything resembling a grudge. I've argued with you about dios, I know, but I'm not bearing ill will about it and I hope you aren't either. If you believe I'd misrepresent my understanding of mefi policy and Matt and Jess's goals for the site and the community just to further petty personal politics, you believe very wrongly.

If I'm misunderstanding your objection, I apologize, but that's how I'm reading you.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:49 PM on February 28, 2007

steering the site anymore than the next guy, that was to read—or just omit "anymore" altogether.

I suppose I could have abused my powers to fix that inline. Oh well.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:52 PM on February 28, 2007

nuking throwaway jokes in askme—that's what I'm doing

WHAT? Well then, I'll withdraw my sucking up, you storm trooper!
posted by timeistight at 4:55 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

look, i see what bardic's saying, and let's not pile on him. he has a valid point.

In a way, yeah, but his justification for his point is that jessamyn was pretty much a non-entity prior to getting admin powers, which doesn't really jive with my views (and bardic said it was only his opinion, so we're cool there). I would certainly say that cortex is much more visible in MeTa than jess ever was, but I don't think that's really a bad thing in this case--he knows what people's issues with the sites are and everything else that comes up here.

Sadly, it seems to me that jessamyn's had much less of a presence on the site, outside of MeTa shitstorms anyway, since her elevation. She used to put in about 5 awesome answers on AxMe every day, but it seems she's too busy pruning the nonsense to contribute much substance any more.
posted by LionIndex at 4:56 PM on February 28, 2007

What's all this stuff on my nose?
posted by LionIndex at 4:57 PM on February 28, 2007

She used to put in about 5 awesome answers on AxMe every day, but it seems she's too busy pruning the nonsense to contribute much substance any more.

oh, so now jessamyn's not good enough for you?! what the fuck, LionIndex?
posted by shmegegge at 4:59 PM on February 28, 2007

I respectfully disagree, bardic, though I admit that I'm biased.

As I remember it, jessamyn was mostly welcomed based on her respect in the community and the sense from her history that she would be a fairly even-tempered moderator. But there was a fair amount of flack with that decision, too, based on some of the same arguments you're making here. cortex is arguably more active than jessamyn was, but I think the general sense is the same - no one will make everybody happy, but for a job like this, it seems the wiser choice to go with someone who has earned the community's trust. Yes cortex has his history, but that can work in the MetaFilter's favor, too. He knows the way the site works all too well, and for such a ubiquitous presence, he's not an especially polarizing personality. Plus - as he's proven time and time again, he has the time and time again to donate.

Just my 2cents.

Sorry for any typos - I'm on my way out the door.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:59 PM on February 28, 2007

The truth is, if Matt could anoint God as an admin, there would be a loud and vocal minority who would complain. If it's temporary, who really cares. If it's permanent, well, this isn't a democracy, except in the sense that there's a big wide wonderful world of the internet out there for you to explore, and you can vote with your feet. Otherwise, you just have to come to grips that you really, really, really, really don't get a say in the matter.
posted by Dave Faris at 5:08 PM on February 28, 2007

oh, so now jessamyn's not good enough for you?! what the fuck, LionIndex?

Don't make me cut off my hand and electrocute myself, dude.
posted by LionIndex at 5:11 PM on February 28, 2007

She used to put in about 5 awesome answers on AxMe every day, but it seems she's too busy pruning the nonsense to contribute much substance any more.

Cause, meet effect. Being an admin here is a thankless job, I'll admit. Partly because you to have to ax certain things by certain posters who have obvious constituencies. This is why, say, a video game company doesn't make most of its hires from the fanboy community. Maybe for PR purposes (Mefi compilation), but not for running the place. Is cortex a decent, visible mefi personality? Certainly. And a vocal one. And a well-liked one.

And in terms of making him a mod/admin, that's three very big strikes IMO.
posted by bardic at 5:13 PM on February 28, 2007

IRFH writes I respectfully disagree, bardic, though I admit that I'm biased.

Yeah. That's what I'm trying to say.
posted by bardic at 5:14 PM on February 28, 2007

if Matt could anoint God as an admin, there would be a loud and vocal minority who would complain.

On this site it would like be a very vocal majority, me thinks.
posted by terrapin at 5:14 PM on February 28, 2007

Is cortex a decent, visible mefi personality? Certainly. And a vocal one. And a well-liked one.

And in terms of making him a mod/admin, that's three very big strikes IMO.

Is mathowie a decent, visible mefi personality? Certainly. And a vocal one. And a well-liked one.

And in terms of making him a mod/admin, that's three very big strikes IMO.

Is jessamyn a decent, visible mefi personality? Certainly. And a vocal one. And a well-liked one.

And in terms of making him a mod/admin, that's three very big strikes IMO.

Yeah. That doesn't really work.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:16 PM on February 28, 2007

whoops, didn't mean to refer to jessamyn as "him"
posted by eyeballkid at 5:17 PM on February 28, 2007

I thought that was why it didn't really work. You mean, there's more?
posted by Dave Faris at 5:18 PM on February 28, 2007

I meant that bardic's reasoning doesn't really work, as those qualities can be applied to mattamyn as well
posted by eyeballkid at 5:21 PM on February 28, 2007

eyeballkid, your logic needs a tune-up. It's Matt's site. He does what he wants, obviously. And yeah, I like the big lug, but I also don't feel like I'm stepping on toes when I make a comment critical of his moderating decisions. It doesn't happen that often, but the point is that cortex fills a very personal role for a lot of people here -- he writes and records songs about the place, for example. This is the opposite of objectivity, even if its a subjective position with which many people would agree (i.e., "Mefi is da shizz.")

And I certainly wasn't trying to slag on Jessamyn earlier. The reason she integrated so well into her position is because she had the intelligence and/or decency and/or decorum not to get too invovled in metatalk flame-threads loudly voicing her support of/condemnation of certain users. The admin/mod we should have would be, ideally, someone we've never heard of but that Matt has groomed a bit and knows IRL. I find it hard to believe there aren't at least a dozen more qualified people out there who could fill this role better.
posted by bardic at 5:22 PM on February 28, 2007

(I happen to agree mefi is da shizz btw. But let's cut off potential drama at the pass. Third mod should not be someone as prominent as cortex.)
posted by bardic at 5:23 PM on February 28, 2007

I nominate bardic for moderator... at Fark.

Any potentially effective moderator has to have a lot of familiarity with the goings-on here, and the only way to prove such is by having a high enough level of participation to be "a MeFi Personality". You need to have Matt's confidence in your judgment, but if you are 'well-liked' in the community, it's a plus, not a minus. Cortex's recent extra-high profile should not be considered a factor, positive or negative (but his availability that allowed him to do all that he has must be a positive factor). The only other MeFites I can think of as 'trusting with the keys' are languagehat and madamjujujive. I support cortex's appointment wholeheartedly. (waves little flag)
posted by wendell at 5:48 PM on February 28, 2007

The admin/mod we should have would be, ideally, someone we've never heard of but that Matt has groomed a bit and knows IRL. I find it hard to believe there aren't at least a dozen more qualified people out there who could fill this role better.

But what Dave Faris said here is pretty much spot on. Even if your Tabula Mefi person exists ("Hey, man, would you mind being a moderator for a persnickety online community in which you've never actively participated in nor have any emotional investment ?" "Sure! Sounds like fun!")

Any third permanent admin is going to get the kind of scrutiny normally reserved for things that only get camera time with the benefit of an electron microscope.

The people most likely to bitch will know who they are within hours. The rest will follow in due time. Which brings us right to where we are now, so we might as well give cortex a chance.

You know, for two weeks.
posted by Cyrano at 5:55 PM on February 28, 2007

I can't think of anything cortex has done or said over the last few years to make me think of him as being anything other than levelheaded and relatively flameproof. If he has gotten dragged into a fight and insulted someone, I wasn't there to see it.

If someone asked me yesterday who should have been the next admin, permanently or otherwise, he would have made my short list.

I think it's a good fit.
posted by quin at 6:00 PM on February 28, 2007

Wendell writes Any potentially effective moderator has to have a lot of familiarity with the goings-on here, and the only way to prove such is by having a high enough level of participation to be "a MeFi Personality".

Demonstrably incorrect. Matthowie actually isn't that active as an FPP'er/commenter. Honestly, how could he be given all that he has to do? I don't spend much time in the green, but I get the impression the same could be said of Jessamyn. And to turn your logic around, I'm surprised you haven't argued delmoi would be a better mod than cortex. But thanks for the personal attack, champ. Doesn't demonstrate my larger point one bit, no sir.

Cyrano writes "Hey, man, would you mind being a moderator for a persnickety online community in which you've never actively participated in nor have any emotional investment ?" "Sure! Sounds like fun!" I see what you're saying. But first off, lots of people lurk for a while here before getting an account (me, for example). Active participation is frankly over-rated as a standard for judgement. Again, ever heard the one about your friend getting a promotion and becoming your boss? Obviously, the analogy isn't a perfect one, but I'm having a hard time believing that people don't see an obvious conflict of interest here.

Ultimately, this isn't about the person behind the monniker "cortex." It's the fact that he has lots of fans, and they're the ones who would make it impossible for him to moderate in an even-handed manner. And if he did do a great job moderating, it wouldn't matter -- there will always be a hint of favoritism and/or potential crony behavior.

This place is club, no doubt. But as an ideal, it should actively strive not to be. Ain't gonna happen, ever, but let's at least try to keep a standard of objectivity in place.
posted by bardic at 6:16 PM on February 28, 2007

I think the important thing to remember is why cortex has a cheering section. Like others said before, the guy spends a lot of time here. He "gets" the place and isn't obnoxious about his political/secular/declawing beliefs. It's rare if ever that anyone has anything bad to say about him, and vice versa. He has a track record of going above and beyond for this community. His hair is long and shiny, and I'll bet it smells like lilac... wait, what were we talking about?

As he himself said, he's basically going to be taking out the doubles trash for starters - if it's a bad fit or doesn't work I wouldn't be surprised if he'd be the first to point it out and step down of his own volition. In which case I would be happy to step up and ~~usher in a reign of terror that echo through the internet like the wail of bloodthirsty banshees from the pits of the Inferno~~ lend a hand.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:19 PM on February 28, 2007

D'oh, "...political/religious/declawing beliefs..."
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:21 PM on February 28, 2007

I've agreed that cortex is generally a nice guy, contributes a lot to metatalk, and is well-liked. I don't see how these qualities have anything to do with being a fair, effective mod.
posted by bardic at 6:24 PM on February 28, 2007

And I always thought it would take something like the Colts winning the Super Bowl before Matt named another mod.... oh ...they did WHAT?
posted by pjern at 6:33 PM on February 28, 2007

bardic: Those qualities are a big reason, IMO at least.

nice guy: He's fair in his dealings and interactions with other members; you know you'll get a fair shake from the guy, because he's not the type to drag petty MetaShit baggage into every thread he participates in.

contributes a lot to metatalk: He's attentive, he's got the time to do the job properly, and he's not some shlub off the street - MetaFilter, a community with only one hand and fast "rule" could not work with a mod who didn't follow the wheres and whatfors of this place. There's too many nuances, degrees of acceptability, etc. for someone who didn't have roots here to administrate effectively.

well-liked: See nice guy. cortex seems grounded and pretty self-aware, not the type to let the Might Admin Powers go to his head. Hell, if anything, this may end up with him being less popular, in which case I may have a shot at being crowed Queen at the Spring Fling this year.
Uh, I mean King, King.

fair, effective mod: Again, nice guy goes a long way towards how the community perceives his actions and decisions and how he'll conduct himself. Also, his work on the MeFi Comp shows he's got his shit together, and has a vested interest in this place.

And it's only two weeks. How much damage can he do?

*Hits post, monitor bursts into flames*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:54 PM on February 28, 2007

why don't you practice your admin powers by deleting that shitty conspiracy theory post on the blue

It's too bad that is gone. I wanted to post an article on Uncomfortable Questions: Was the Death Star Attack an Inside Job?
posted by grouse at 7:00 PM on February 28, 2007

I'll just say two more things and leave it at that --

1) I don't think the sky's falling. I don't think this is the worst day evar for metafilter. I just think it's a really bad decision, for obvious reasons. People are letting their allegiance to cortex cloud their vision -- the best choice for mod would be someone who's a bit of an unknown value to everyone except mathowie himself. I think it's great that mefi has a big fan in the person of "everybody likes" cortex. I think it's incredibly short-sighted to give him admin powers, for reasons stated above.

2) Cortex's potential for ojectivity is one thing (I think it's there, but then again he has some very definite views about the way this site should be run). The larger problem, IMO, is that his decisions will be lauded by his cheering section. That doesn't make for fair or effective moderation. Do we need our mods to play "bad cop" sometimes? Obviously. Do we need "teh mawb" to hoot and holler when their favorite mod admonishes their least favorite mefite? I don't think so.

The less this place feels like a Boy's Club, the better it is. Decisions that don't accomplish this are bad ones.
posted by bardic at 7:06 PM on February 28, 2007

Is cortex a decent, visible mefi personality? Certainly. And a vocal one. And a well-liked one.
And in terms of making him a mod/admin, that's three very big strikes IMO.
So, we would be better off with someone quiet, invisible and whom we all hate? I think someone who has gained the general approval of the community would be the ideal candidate, because decisions they make are more likely to be taken well than someone who is disliked or, even worse, unknown.
posted by dg at 7:44 PM on February 28, 2007

So, we would be better off with someone quiet, invisible and whom we all hate?

OK, I lied about shutting up, but if people are going to willfully misrepresent what I said, I'll respond. Quietish would be good. Invisiblish would be good. Hate? Of course not. "No strong feelings either way" would be best.
posted by bardic at 7:46 PM on February 28, 2007

What's the big deal? It's just for two weeks, so Matt doesn't go crazy trying to keep the whole site in line. It's like asking somebody to water your plants or feed your cat. Sure, there's some responsibility, but it's not like Cortex has been elected president for life.
posted by Secretariat at 8:16 PM on February 28, 2007

I'm assuming it's a "try out" sort of thing. Maybe that's a bad assumption.
posted by bardic at 8:20 PM on February 28, 2007

I'm still not seeing why cortex having an almost wholly agreeable reputation here is a bad thing. I mean, I get that people's emotins will be different toward him, now that he's an admin, but that's not altogether negative and I don't see why it would be. People will begin to regard him as an admin. But they'll also still remember good old agreeable cortex. He'll get the occasional flame email (I sent one off to jessamyn once, was roundly smacked down and walked off with my tail between my legs. since then, no biggie.) but nothing catastrophic. Admins get flamed. Admins are also well liked. Admins have personal relationships with their communities, and admins also maintain boudaries. I really don't see why cortex would be any different, unless there's some implication that he'd be grossly irresponsible with his newfound admin rights. I suppose it's a possibility, but no more so than anyone else, and a good deal less so than some.
posted by shmegegge at 8:48 PM on February 28, 2007

I don't think bardic is off-base. From what I can tell, cortex will be fine; he's really into the site and seems level-headed. That's about all you need. Something rubs me the wrong way, though, about the fact that he's, well, popular with a group of users (half-joking here). Part of what is great about the site is Matt's effort to discourage cliquishness. I can understand how elevating cortex (who, again, seems like a good guy and who I have nothing against) could seem like a move towards cliquishness in that cortex has, well, a sort of admiration socitey.

To put it diffferently: we've had several waves of individuals or groups who became the "dominant" or "popular" or whatever voices in MeTa for a stretch. If Matt had made, say, Miguel a moderator during his particular 15 minutes of fame, I think people would have similar feelings.

All of this is wholly separate from whether cortex will make a good mod or not.
posted by Mid at 8:49 PM on February 28, 2007

Matt should appoint an unknown quantity to the rest of us. Somebody who doesn't register on people's radars all that much

I don't register on anybody's radar.

Just sayin'.
posted by ereshkigal45 at 9:08 PM on February 28, 2007

Miguel for Moderator. I'd vote for that.

Of course I'd vote for cortex, too.

And dg. dg would be a great admin, working away while most of us slept.

And madamjujujive for sheriff; she already has the star.

And what about Stan Chin? He could run the humour court of appeal.
posted by timeistight at 9:19 PM on February 28, 2007

I like cortex. I think he'll be a fine admin.

*kisses ring*
posted by jonmc at 9:24 PM on February 28, 2007

... that cortex has, well, a sort of admiration socitey.
Becoming an admin will fix that up pretty quickly. Nobody really likes those people.
posted by dg at 9:33 PM on February 28, 2007

Thanks, cortex. I for one think you're a fine candidate, but that's in some part due to the fact that I would never presume to volunteer. I'm already teaching for free, no time, no time. I bet this'll be a similarly personal, beneficial and educational experience for you.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:33 PM on February 28, 2007

Becoming an admin will fix that up pretty quickly. Nobody really likes those people.
Exactly. ; >

bardic has a good point--there's already way too much kneejerk defense of matt and jess--now kneejerk defense of cortex too? It's surprising and disappointing how automatically deferential to power people are here.
posted by amberglow at 10:26 PM on February 28, 2007 [1 favorite]

I've agreed that cortex is generally a nice guy, contributes a lot to metatalk, and is well-liked. I don't see how these qualities have anything to do with being a fair, effective mod.

bardic, sure, but can you be clear on what you think well make me an unfair, ineffective mod? It seems like mostly you're objecting to some possibility that my visibility makes me a subpar candidate, but I'm not clear on what specifically you see going wrong.

You've referred to the cheering squad, but as I've already said most of my backup-mod duties are effectively invisible, so there's nothing to cheer for. Matt hasn't handed me a title to Metatalk, he's asked me to help keep the place sane. Said cheering squad would be standing around in an empty, unlit gym wondering where the hell the game is.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:34 PM on February 28, 2007

bardic, sure, but can you be clear on what you think well make me an unfair, ineffective mod?

I thought I was pretty clear on this. It's really less about you and more about your constituency. If someone complains when their post gets zapped, it will no longer be the (admittedly imperfect and somewhat arbitrary) will of matthowie or jessamyn that gets whined about, pathetically or justifiedly, but the hive-mind once again breaking out the torches and pitchforks. Because, dude, cortex is one of us! We must protect him at all costs!

Then again, if it's just two weeks, no big deal. But a congratulatory metatalk post was probably ill-advised on timeistight's part. I certainly don't think we need to be overtly antagonistic to our mods, but they're hardly just "reglar ol' mefites with a few editorial privileges." They have a role that is qualitatively different than the rest of us (and honestly, it's not one I'd relish. I'm glad they do what they do, complaints and all.)

Oh, but I promised to shut up. I'll really try this time.
posted by bardic at 11:12 PM on February 28, 2007

bardic, you have been remarkably civil and well spoken in your opposition to this, ostensibly temporarily position placement. I will assume that your objection comes from a belief that cortex will eventually achieve full admin status like our beloved leaders; jess and matt.

So I ask, in all earnestness, who do you think would be better?

I'm not trying to call you out for favoritism, or whatever, but I honestly can only think of a couple of posters who are as prolific [meaning they love the site and are willing to dedicate their time to keeping our house in order, and whatnot.] and are as level tempered and even keeled.

Seriously, I have some favorites here that I might have put before the new admin, but I'm far less prolific than you so I'm willing to hear your thoughts on who would be a better choice.

Who would you have picked?
posted by quin at 11:14 PM on February 28, 2007

With cortex' rise on the internets, that autographed copy of the mefi comp I have might actually be worth something some day. Maybe... maybe when the Blue rules the world and it is run on MeDollars.

I'd sell it right now for $50 bucks, but I'm thinking maybe I'll wait.

Cortex paraphernalia is gonna be a valuable commodity in a few years.
posted by Mister Cheese at 11:18 PM on February 28, 2007

Apologies for baiting you out into conversation again. I disagree with you on the constituency issue, plain and simple, I guess, but thank you for being willing to reiterate. I think I get your concern, but, again, I'm not sure it's got teeth. But god knows I've been vocally concerned about things around here that turned out either way, so I sympathize.

I have no idea of this will have legs beyond Jessamyn's vacation. I wouldn't turn down a long-term post, because I care a lot about the site and don't see more care and correspondingly a bit less errant joking and snarkery on my part being a bad thing. And I agree that timeistight's post may have been an awkward move—I was expecting a heads-up from Matt or even nothing at all (though the latter was kind of out once Matt spoke up in the other thread).
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:21 PM on February 28, 2007

Jolly good choice in my view. 2.5 cheers.
posted by Wolof at 11:21 PM on February 28, 2007

If someone complains when their post gets zapped, it will no longer be the (admittedly imperfect and somewhat arbitrary) will of matthowie or jessamyn that gets whined about, pathetically or justifiedly, but the hive-mind once again breaking out the torches and pitchforks. Because, dude, cortex is one of us! We must protect him at all costs!

oh man, this does not sound likely to me. Cortex doesn't fight often, but I've never seen people be all like "yo, get off my boy" when he does. in fact, i've never seen anyone do that here, ever, except for the obnoxious political shitfests that sometimes happen where people draw lines in the sand and the issues go out the window.

But a congratulatory metatalk post was probably ill-advised on timeistight's part.

This I don't get. Is it really ill advised to say "hey, i think cortex makes a fine choice for temp admin?" really? I mean, is it supposed to be rubbing something in someone's face, or what? Since when is it that much of a problem to bring up a new development on the site that not everyone has heard of, and pay a compliment to a decent guy in the process? i'm being perfectly sincere when I say that I just don't get this.
posted by shmegegge at 11:35 PM on February 28, 2007

Is this gonna be on the test?
Because this is a LOT to read, and I've got play practice tomorrow.
posted by Dizzy at 12:10 AM on March 1, 2007

I don't really care one way or t'other about cortex being chosen.
But I just don't understand how bardic can believe that a low profile member who understands the site and policies well is going to be known to mathowie. How could Matt be expected to identify, let alone form an opinion about a potential candidate, if they are not, you know, actively participating in the site and therefore displaying their personality? Should Matt have a secret stash of quiet Mefi-savants?
posted by peacay at 12:30 AM on March 1, 2007

if this is representative of the corrective actions of the new mod, then I say ok. (it was a triple post, and the "reason for deletion" was cute and punny. Eases the sting somewhat, no? though perhaps if it were mine I would feel differently...)
posted by exlotuseater at 12:50 AM on March 1, 2007

Cortex is a perfect choice, and if Matt can also come up with a Europe- or Asia-based person as well suited, life will be a little bit easier for him and Jess.

What is easy to overlook is that choosing a moderator isn't as simple as 'well, I like this guy - I'm going to give him the keys'. You need someone extremely stable, with a long history at the site, who spends a lot of time at the site, who knows all the back story, who's familiar with technical issues, who doesn't have power/control issues, who doesn't get into personality conflicts, who has good judgment, who is fair, logical and generally helpful, isn't touchy/thin-skinned or easily panicked... plus bright, funny, and warm all help make the medicine go down. So, not really so easy to pinpoint individuals with all these qualities, and pretty much impossible unless you've known them for quite some time.
posted by taz at 2:31 AM on March 1, 2007

...and who actually WANTS to do it. It's an unenviable position, since, as you see in this thread, you get attacked simply for being.
posted by Dave Faris at 3:45 AM on March 1, 2007

But I just don't understand how bardic can believe that a low profile member who understands the site and policies well is going to be known to mathowie. How could Matt be expected to identify, let alone form an opinion about a potential candidate, if they are not, you know, actively participating in the site and therefore displaying their personality?

Because Matthowie doesn't know anyone in the blogoverse beyond us. I mean, he has to get up every morning and crank his tubes so that that sweet, sweet mefi goodness can flow. C'mon. Not to get all 2.0 on anyone, but that's not the case. More to the point, Matthowie is hardly a babe-in-the-woods when it comes to this stuff.

I'm assuming this is a trial-period for CortexMod. If it's a two-week thing then it frankly doesn't matter and I'll shut up for what, the fourth time or so. If not, really bad call on Matthowie's part.

And the Europa/Asia thing is worth repeating. That really seems to be the problem that has to be solved re: doubles, obviously crap posts, etc.

taz writes What is easy to overlook is that choosing a moderator isn't as simple as 'well, I like this guy - I'm going to give him the keys'. You need someone extremely stable, with a long history at the site, who spends a lot of time at the site, who knows all the back story, who's familiar with technical issues, who doesn't have power/control issues, who doesn't get into personality conflicts, who has good judgment, who is fair, logical and generally helpful, isn't touchy/thin-skinned or easily panicked... plus bright, funny, and warm all help make the medicine go down. So, not really so easy to pinpoint individuals with all these qualities, and pretty much impossible unless you've known them for quite some time.

I agree with most of this. Stable? Yes. Long history? No. I have favorites. Cortex has favorites. Most of us have favorites. Neither of us would make good mods.
posted by bardic at 5:06 AM on March 1, 2007

I think we're all very, very, very well aware of how you feel about Cortex being a mod, bardic. You can give it a rest now.
posted by Dave Faris at 5:15 AM on March 1, 2007

Dave Faris just shut me up. Damn.
posted by bardic at 5:27 AM on March 1, 2007

(Honest question: Are you crunchland?)
posted by bardic at 5:30 AM on March 1, 2007

Because Matthowie doesn't know anyone in the blogoverse beyond us. I mean, he has to get up every morning and crank his tubes so that that sweet, sweet mefi goodness can flow. C'mon. Not to get all 2.0 on anyone, but that's not the case. More to the point, Matthowie is hardly a babe-in-the-woods when it comes to this stuff.

I've read that a few times and I really have no idea what it is you've said.
posted by peacay at 5:35 AM on March 1, 2007

I was trying to respond to the ignorance of "Oh, darn, there's only one person out there who both loves this site and knows some html." The tech thing is dime-a-dozen. The "love" thing is what's problematic. In an abstract sense, sure, mods here should respect and enjoy and appreciate what they do.

But they shouldn't be boosters, by nature. They shouldn't have obvious constituencies. They shouldn't be on record as approving certain behavior and condemning those of others based on, IMO, fairly ambiguous "AMIRITE" standards.

Cortex is a great Charles Barkley. He's no Dick Bavetta, nor should he be. (And I love me some Bavetta. But he's a ref, not a player. I'm still honestly having a hard time understanding why this differentiation isn't clear to most of you.)

Which is to try and say, love and work are very different things. One will poison the other, eventually.

Or maybe not. I'm sure Cortex would agree that it's my God-given right, and everyone else's, to bitch in the gray. For ever and ever amen. But if this is something meant to go beyond two weeks, really awful idea.
posted by bardic at 6:09 AM on March 1, 2007

bardic: We don't see the difference because we know that the transformation can happen. Just because cortex currently has a fan club, it does not mean that people won't complain if they don't like his deletions. If the complaints are justified, I am disinclined to believe that these pitchforks you assert will come, will. As the admin-cortex develops, the member-cortex will dissolve. I have seen this happen with good people who are put in leadership positions. The good ones lose part of their sense of being part-of-the-crowd, without losing touch with it.

If he does become a moderator, I would be unsurprised to see cortex fade a little more into the background. With the responsibilities he receives, he will have less time for being a member, and his contributions will probably decrease. Which I might consider the biggest argument against him becoming and admin--if we do so love his contributions.
posted by that girl at 6:22 AM on March 1, 2007

Another thumbs up for cortex - a smart, fair minded, good-natured guy who's fun and creative to boot! I am sure we can beat those traits out of him if we try.

wedell and timeistight: thank you for your nice words, but I would be a terrible and schizzy mod - far too permissive one week - CAPS LOCK DAY all week! - and an avenging angel with slash and burn deletions the next. I marvel at how consistently even-handed and fair Matt and Jess are no matter how nettlesome we can all be.
posted by madamjujujive at 6:28 AM on March 1, 2007

I would have thought it was knows the site and loves html rather than the other way around. You can't admin this site without knowing it really really well. If you were suggesting that Matt bring in an outsider that would be crazy.

You'd have to ask Matt why he specifically chose cortex but I doubt that his being popular was the primary concern. Everyone and particularly taz has outlined why cortex has a swag of necessary attributes. We'll just have to see how he goes but the longer you protest this, the more it will be perceived that you are just harbouring some sort of grudge.
posted by peacay at 6:30 AM on March 1, 2007

(Honest question: Are you crunchland?)

Yes.
posted by Dave Faris at 7:08 AM on March 1, 2007

bardic causes unnecessary ruckus, says he'll shut up, doesn't. Amazin'!

I can't think of anything cortex has done or said over the last few years to make me think of him as being anything other than levelheaded and relatively flameproof. If he has gotten dragged into a fight and insulted someone, I wasn't there to see it.
If someone asked me yesterday who should have been the next admin, permanently or otherwise, he would have made my short list.
I think it's a good fit.

Likewise.

And to dispose of the "constituency" bullshit: I like Matt, Jess, and cortex, all three. I have vocally approved of the moderation of the first two on repeated occasions when they have been attacked... and yet, when I've disagreed, I've made my disagreement very clear. MeFi is not a collection of little cliques that fight to the death and swear allegiance to their Leaders, it's a collection of individuals with strong ideas about the site. The fact that X or Y is a moderator is not going to change those ideas. And if cortex does something I disagree with, I'll sound off.

But god forbid there should be a lovefest in MetaTalk, so bitch on, you crazy diamond!
posted by languagehat at 7:22 AM on March 1, 2007 [2 favorites]

That's the one bit of information I would expect to be on Crunchland's Metafilter Sock-Puppet Scorecard that isn't.
posted by grouse at 7:23 AM on March 1, 2007

That's because, according to Dave, he had Matt randomize the password on the crunchland account - so now he can't log into it or add anything to it.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:26 AM on March 1, 2007

Long history? No.

What? I've been here for very nearly six years now, plus some lurking before I registered this account.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:16 AM on March 1, 2007

cortex, close this thread.
I keed! I keed!
posted by Roger Dodger at 8:33 AM on March 1, 2007

Congrats, cortex!

You're a good choice for mod. But beware of what bardic said:
Which is to try and say, love and work are very different things. One will poison the other, eventually.
In two weeks time, this probably (hopefully) won't happen. But it would be a shame to see you become bitter and resentful about this site that you (and I, and all of us) love so much. Be On Guard!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:48 AM on March 1, 2007

eyeballkid
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:54 AM on March 1, 2007

Looking at the list of bardic's 83 contacts, there's only one that stands out with any level of distinction from the rest.

dhoyt (friend met muse)
posted by Dave Faris at 10:02 AM on March 1, 2007

I hope the responsibility of moderation doesn't cut down on the amount of non-administrative goodness that cortex contributes. Because that would suck.
posted by Skorgu at 10:59 AM on March 1, 2007

Dude. I'd be the worst choice for mod ever.
posted by eyeballkid at 11:43 AM on March 1, 2007

Dude. I'd be the worst choice for mod ever.

Dude. The suggestion was that bardic would choose you. It wasn't a compliment. You may now resume generalized hating.
posted by languagehat at 11:44 AM on March 1, 2007

I understood the suggestion. I knew it wasn't a compliment.

I was pondering on the fact that I would be the worst possible choice for mod.

So much so it scares me.
posted by eyeballkid at 11:46 AM on March 1, 2007

eye hate all of you.
posted by Mid at 11:46 AM on March 1, 2007

It wasn't not a compliment, either, though. I was just trying to think of the "anti-cortex," and "I hate you all" just seemed like the obvious bizzaro cortex catch-phrase.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:01 PM on March 1, 2007

{pan shot left}

'The Emperor is pleased that moderation is EXPANDING'
posted by clavdivs at 12:55 PM on March 1, 2007

Thanks for bringing this thread down languagehat, you pedantic douche you.

See, it's already kind of going like I expect -- criticizing the choice of cortex, not even the man himself, gets me attacked from the usual suspects. Not that I mind, the vitriol coming from insignificant sources, but c'mon man -- mod away. We don't like that shit, do we? We're a community, right? Such a painfully abused word around here. (And fandango_matt, when did I suggest myself for mod? That would be stupid. And Matthowie couldn't afford me anyway.)

Again, less Boy's Club, not moreso. That's what I'd like to see long-term for this place. The more I think about it, the more I could be wrong. We'll see. But at the very least, I hope people can see that there is some substance to my concern, although maybe it's entirely misdirected. Not a bad goal though.
posted by bardic at 4:38 PM on March 1, 2007

(And I didn't mean to imply you don't have a long history here cortex, but that having one is not a good qualification.)
posted by bardic at 4:49 PM on March 1, 2007

I think cortex will be a good mod, but I don't really understand why it is important to know who is watching the shop. The attendant scrutiny might even undermine mods' ability to moderate.
posted by owhydididoit at 5:07 PM on March 1, 2007

(And I didn't mean to imply you don't have a long history here cortex, but that having one is not a good qualification.)

Ah. Gotcha.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:23 PM on March 1, 2007

Tonight's the night
Tonight's the night
bardic MeFite was a commentin' man,
he used to post from his local LAN
A sparkle was in his eye,
He could cut off his hand

Well late at night when the people were gone
he used to pick up the admin's guitar
And sing a song about a "very poor choice"
That was as real as the day was long

Tonight's the night, yes it is
Tonight's the night

Early in the mornin'
at the break of day, he used to complain till the afternoon
If you never heard him complain, I guess you won't too soon
'Cause people let me tell you, it sent a chill up and down my spine
When I refreshed the thread
And heard that he'd flamed,
Out on the grey site

Tonight's the night, yes it is
Tonight's the ni-i-i-i-ight,
Tonight's the night
posted by Kwine at 5:36 PM on March 1, 2007 [3 favorites]

Wow. Hope you didn't spend too much time on that.
posted by bardic at 5:39 PM on March 1, 2007

But as long as everyone is so interested in my thoughts, it would be nice to hear from Deus Ex Matthowie. Is this a temporary thing, or a "try out"? Will Cortex be getting paid, like Jessamyn? (I certainly hope so. It's a thankless job, from what I can tell.) Then someone could put this thread out of its misery. I'd be happy to load the shotgun myself.
posted by bardic at 5:41 PM on March 1, 2007

About five minutes! Glad you like it!
posted by Kwine at 5:52 PM on March 1, 2007

Dude. Seriously. Who cares if this is just a "try out?" At this point your best bet is to wait for cortex to fuck up and just be the "I told you so" guy. Otherwise, you getting worked up in this thread is all for naught.

(My money is on cortex working out very well. Personally I think cortex's disposition fits perfectly with the history of moderation on this site.)
posted by eyeballkid at 5:53 PM on March 1, 2007

Then someone could put this thread out of its misery. I'd be happy to load the shotgun myself.

As well you should, since you created the misery. And if by "pedantic" you mean "correct," thank you. It's nice to know you can accept defeat gracefully.
posted by languagehat at 5:55 PM on March 1, 2007

No, pedantic as in pretentious. Full of hot air. The affectation of intelligence, but not the thing itself.

I mean, I've taught 14 year-olds how to use an online OED. Just sayin'.
posted by bardic at 6:02 PM on March 1, 2007

But as long as everyone is so interested in my thoughts, it would be nice to hear from Deus Ex Matthowie.

Thursday is tweak day at the mefi farm—consider that the reason Matt asked for help is so that he doesn't get completely bogged down bearing the full brunt of the dull day-to-day admin stuff. If he's not wading into the depths of this thread at the moment, that's probably a good sign—it means he may be getting work done on under-the-hood fixes and improvements. See here.

He asked me to help in Jessamyn's absence. That's all the info I have. It's plausible that, if this works out well, it'll turn into a longer term thing, but there hasn't been any discussion of that and I'm not presuming it. He may or may not have a ready answer for you, but you could email him.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:08 PM on March 1, 2007

it's already kind of going like I expect -- criticizing the choice of cortex, not even the man himself, gets me attacked from the usual suspects. Not that I mind, the vitriol coming from insignificant sources, but c'mon man -- mod away. We don't like that shit, do we?

How is this thread different from all other MeTa threads? Someone voices an opinion ("X is a bad MeFi decision!"), gets jumped on ("no it isn't! and why are you complaining about X after all, it's not a democracy, if you don't like it you can leave"), concise sensible comment from mathowie early in the thread and then silence. MeTa threads aren't usually moderated, they're usually free-for-alls. People in MeTa usually pipe up in defense of mathowie or jessamyn's decisions, unless it's a really rare case. I don't think there's any evidence for your theory (that cortex will be specially exempt from criticism, or specially weak in doing what his friends like) in this thread.

I tend to agree that a history of showing good judgment and a reasonable sense of humor on MeFi is about as good a qualification as one could want.
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:19 PM on March 1, 2007

it's already kind of going like I expect

So you're satisfied, then?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:36 AM on March 2, 2007

As long as Alvy Ampersand is kept away from the delete and edit buttons it all should be fine right?
posted by gomichild at 7:32 AM on March 2, 2007

So wait, what does bardic think about all of this?
posted by danb at 7:43 AM on March 2, 2007

I get what Bardic is saying about someone who is very popular being a poor choice for a mod, but in this case it's a flawed argument because the things that make cortex popular are the very things that will make him a good mod.

If he were popular because he parroted popular views, then yeah, he'd suck.

But he's popular because he's level-headed, doesn't make an ass of himself when he disagrees, has interesting views to contribute to the site, and seems to have the site's best interests at heart.
I say that's a lot better than someone who is doing the job only because they like Matt and know him in some other capacity and who may or may not fit in well eventually.
But if you want someone who rarely contributes and isn't widely known, hey, I'll take a banhammer!
posted by solotoro at 7:46 AM on March 2, 2007

You know how you become popular on the internet? You find the most popular person, and then you beat the crap out of them.

No, wait, that's how you survive in prison.

Congrats, cortex. Where can I download your music?
posted by Pastabagel at 8:14 AM on March 2, 2007

am i the only one who doesnt like cortex?
posted by petsounds at 8:19 AM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

petsounds: am i the only one who doesnt like cortex?

No, apparently neither does bardic.
posted by grouse at 8:24 AM on March 2, 2007

Here is the perfect opportunity to prove bardic right - or wrong.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:30 AM on March 2, 2007

Is there anyone you do like, petsounds?
posted by Dave Faris at 8:49 AM on March 2, 2007

who knows. i dont like cortex. something about him just grates me. i think its the way he so obviously takes so much time out of his day to craft his carefully worded clever replies to everything.. the friendly and non-threatening ever present guy everyone likes, just there to show us what a nice clever guy he is, no matter the situation. like one of those puppies who needs a pat on the back on the back every five minutes and needs to show how ego-less they are yet probably orgasms from theads like this. in other words, cortex is nice to everyone. hes perfect. i hate people like that, probably because im really insecure too. the types i admire and online are people like dios who say whatever they want and dont give a fuck what other people thinkabout it. i like reading that. its admirable and a lot more interesting than smug smug look at meeeee. but thats just me
posted by petsounds at 9:02 AM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

I think I get your concern, but, again, I'm not sure it's got teeth.

The lonely life of moderation is indeed scantly compatible with being one of the lives of the party. bardic may be harping, but I'd say the best thing for you to do, cortex, would be to keep the issue in mind and not conclude at the outset of your tenure that the issue has no teeth. bardic's complaint is no cause to lament your admin privs right now, but the only responsible thing for you to do is to acknowledge that it is tricky to enthusiastically participate in AND moderate a community simultaneously. Brushing that concern aside in an "agree to disagree" way seems a little cavalier at a time when you might want to be buckling in for a completely new experience.
posted by scarabic at 9:04 AM on March 2, 2007

Absolutely, scarabic, and I don't mean to be brushing it aside lightly. I've paid a fair amount of attention to the moderation debate around here since before Jessamyn came on as #2, so I'm not stumbling blindly into unconsidered territory.

So, yes. I acknowledge the trickiness inherent in participating and moderating. I've thought about my own behavior on mefi, both long-arc and more recently, a great deal in the last few days. I don't know what a long-term balance would be like, exactly, if it should come to that, but I do know that I care about the site more than I care about maximizing my personal opportunities for jokesterism, so if handling admin duties meant a percentage drop in some of that it wouldn't bother me much.

And so far as there's been the suggestion that me doing admin stuff would be bad because it would reduce my userland contributions to the site, that's an very nice thing to say but it's not really anybody's call but mine.

petsounds, I'm sorry I rub you the wrong way, but I appreciate the honesty. I generally can't stand willful smugness, so while I'm confused by that attribution I guess I can understand why you'd be bothered. I'm not going to apologize for either hanging around or not being an asshole, though.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:29 AM on March 2, 2007

You are so out of the Shadow Cabinet, gomichild.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:47 AM on March 2, 2007

But I bought you cookies!
posted by gomichild at 10:18 AM on March 2, 2007

However I eated them.
posted by gomichild at 10:19 AM on March 2, 2007

petsounds: Re "smug." I do not think that word means what you think it means.
posted by chinston at 10:28 AM on March 2, 2007

I'm not going to apologize for either hanging around or not being an asshole, though.

MetaFilter demands that you apologize for not being an asshole!

petsounds: I have to admit I thought you were joking with your first post. Now that you've explained... well, I guess I think you just don't understand people very well. But to each his own.
posted by languagehat at 10:57 AM on March 2, 2007

Petsounds: I completely understand the sentiment. On the other hand, I think I'd rather have a diplomatic phony as a mod over someone who is blunt and tactless. Dios would be a terrible moderator, if only because every deletion would result in a thread here in metatalk ... (not that we don't practically have that already.) Someone like Dios would be extremely polarizing.

People have called for Matt to add moderator signatures to deletions. I actually think the opposite would be better. Better to have a team of mods who keep the site clean but be otherwise invisible. That way, people like bardic wouldn't feel threatened or inferior or whatever he feels towards Cortex now that he's a moderator. I imagine, though, with that set up, all the heat would just revert back to Matt, where the buck ultimately stops.

If nothing else, petsounds, learn that being obsequious and ingratiating gets you farther than being blunt and not caring what people think. It's why Cortex is a mod and you, me and Dios aren't.
posted by Dave Faris at 12:40 PM on March 2, 2007

Maybe some people are just dicks and some people aren't?
posted by ND¢ at 1:07 PM on March 2, 2007

And which are you?
posted by Dave Faris at 1:08 PM on March 2, 2007

Man - this thread has become a perfect example of one of my favorite social/group dynamics. Judd Nelsonism. People who insist that blunt, rude, and/or dickish behavior equates to honesty, and that diplomacy, even-temperedness, and tact are by nature insincere, amuse me. It's a stance that says far more about you than anyone you peer at through your prized shit-colored glasses. I'm not even disagreeing (or agreeing) with the viewpoint (I think the truth is somewhere in-between, although I do lean toward a pretty dark view of human nature, myself) - I just think it's marvelous to wear assholishness as a badge of honor while simultaneously whining about cliques and clubs and popularity. It's fine if you want to wear the misunderstood, anti-social outsider personas. But then complaining about the relative merits of popularity just makes you look like hypocrites.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:10 PM on March 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

And which are you?

If you can't tell I'm a dick from that comment then I don't know what to tell you.
posted by ND¢ at 1:12 PM on March 2, 2007

Someone like Dios would be extremely polarizing.

I think we should have both dios and y2karl as admins. That would certainly raise the bar for political posts.
posted by timeistight at 2:01 PM on March 2, 2007

Don't worry. If this is a permanent thing, it's really only a matter of time before we turn cortex into a complete misanthrope. I mean, look what we did to Jessamyn. She had to go to the other side of the planet just to get away from us.
posted by Dave Faris at 2:34 PM on March 2, 2007

When asked, via telegram, how she was enjoying Perth, Ms. West replied simply:

"no comments"
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:44 PM on March 2, 2007

Don't worry. If this is a permanent thing, it's really only a matter of time before we turn cortex into a complete misanthrope.

Let's hope. It could happen. From an armchair humorist's perspective, I was really disappointed with cortex's response to petsounds:

"the types i admire and online are people like dios who say whatever they want and dont give a fuck what other people thinkabout it. i like reading that. its admirable and a lot more interesting than smug smug look at meeeee."

The only proper answer to that is some variation of "well then fuck you, petsounds." Not out of any real spite toward petsounds, understand, but just because, you know, it's "admirable."
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:44 PM on March 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

IRFH writes Man - this thread has become a perfect example of one of my favorite social/group dynamics. Judd Nelsonism. People who insist that blunt, rude, and/or dickish behavior equates to honesty, and that diplomacy, even-temperedness, and tact are by nature insincere, amuse me.

False dilemma. The best choice for mod would be, again, a relative unknown.

Best of luck cortex, seriously. I think you'll find it impossible to play both good and bad cop simultaneously, but I'm happy to be proven wrong. However, a suggestion -- now that you're a mod, we don't need running commentary on your decisions. You aren't that guy now, nor can you be. Invisible hands and all that.
posted by bardic at 4:18 PM on March 2, 2007

(And I do wonder why matthowie is being silent about all this. A lot of my concerns have been addressed, which I appreciate, but I think we should all know whether or not this is a "try out" deal. Because an informed mefite is a happy mefite.)
posted by bardic at 4:21 PM on March 2, 2007

we don't need running commentary on your decisions

Heh. I agree, actually. Please forgive a bit of silly leg-stretching.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:28 PM on March 2, 2007

"False dilemma." Of course. Not my false dilemma, though. That was my point - I said I come down more in the middle. And you weren't really the target of the comment, either, since I never caught you questioning his sincerity.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:52 PM on March 2, 2007

I thought "Oh the power" was hilarious, and I'm on record as one of the cortex-doubters in this thread.

just goes to show you can't really worry about what people think
posted by Mid at 6:50 PM on March 2, 2007

When asked, via telegram, how she was enjoying Perth, Ms. West replied simply:

"I rebooted the server 30 minutes ago and approved the AnonyMe question about the threesome. STOP."
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:19 PM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

No, seriously, how *is* Perth?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:21 PM on March 2, 2007

(Nice shoes, btw)
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:22 PM on March 2, 2007

Oh, horsepucky. I've been fairly civil in this thread, but this is getting out of fucking hand.

we don't need running commentary on your decisions

We also don't need constant, up to the minute information on what CNN has already dubbed 'CortexGate'. The guy made a little joke in a throwaway MeTa; pointing it out makes it look like you're pettily gunning for the guy, and the "You're not that guy now" thing is lame and melodramatic. He's modding, not working deep undercover, straddling that fine line between cop and criminal, ffs.

I do wonder why mathowie is being silent about all this. A lot of my concerns have been addressed, which I appreciate, but I think we should all know whether or not this is a "try out" deal.

Maybe mathowie is silent because:

a) It hasn't been decided.
b) He closed the car door on his fingers and has been typing his decision with a pen clenched in his teeth for the last four hours.
c) Although you've done a good job of expressing your position and taken some shit that you haven't deserved in this thread, assuaging your concerns isn't Priority Number Fucking One.
d) "I think we should all know" is akin to referencing the 'Vast silent Metajority' and Matt's keeping mum to punish you for your presumption.

Because an informed mefite is a happy mefite.

Happy is the mefite who is informed; happiest is the mefite who appreciates a heads up, but accepts that not only is he not owed an explanation or concrete response on every issue, it doesn't matter most of the time, anyhow.

petsounds: You're a dumbass. Your kudos, accolades, and admiration can be sent to the e-mail in my profile.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:02 PM on March 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Alvy Ampersand is mad as hell, and he's not gonna take it any more.
posted by bardic at 10:08 PM on March 2, 2007

Sorry bardic, but after I read your 24^th comment I had a "Alls I can stands, I can't stands no more" moment, especially after the false promises you made in comments 11 and 13 were dashed.
Dashed, sez I!!!

Just ease up, a little tiny bit, please.
We GET it.

And no, I'm not stalking you. The 24 Hour bardic surveillance van has gotten waaay too crowded.

And funky.

And languagehat kicked me out after I accidentally sat on his second best homburg.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:29 PM on March 2, 2007

If only there was some sub-section of this site, where members could discuss there concerns without clogging up the blue. Whatever would we call it?

But it's a cute act you've got going. I like it.
posted by bardic at 10:33 PM on March 2, 2007

err, their. You get the picture.

As for number one, I guess an explanation would be nice, but I haven't asked for one directly. I just want to know if this is a trial thing or not. A third mod is kind of a big deal.
posted by bardic at 10:35 PM on March 2, 2007

No, seriously, how *is* Perth?

Hot and sunny and a bunch of locals trying to make sense of the new daylight savings time they've been strapped with. I head to Adelaide tomorrow. Sydney meetup on the 11th, with any luck at all.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:46 AM on March 3, 2007

"I rebooted the server 30 minutes ago and approved the AnonyMe question about the threesome. STOP."

You mean this one?
posted by grouse at 4:17 AM on March 3, 2007

Dave Faris touches (in inimitable fashion, sir) on a couple points that I've been avoiding tit-for-tat responses to. This is long.

Can you see that a segment of people who think that the candy-coating that is required in order to be diplomatic is essentially phony.

This is an argument that drives me a little crazy. Reducing diplomacy to "candy-coating" dismisses something hard and worthy by wrapping it in a loaded pejorative; a person can, in fact, sincerely and honestly want for shit to work, for people to get along, and, in the worst case, for a usable compromise to be met when shit goes down.

Candy-coating is whispering sweetly in either party's ear. The diplomacy of the Lothario. That's not got a lot in common with simply taking a deep breath and looking past the dressing at the actual situation, looking for what's going on behind the drama and refusing to get catty.

You obviously get farther in life by ingratiating yourself to people in the position of advancing you than you do by spitting at them.

That's true, but, at the risk of personalizing one of your tantalizingly non-specific caricatures, have I been ingratiating myself? Purposefully, calculatedly going about things here for the primary or motivational purpose of currying calculated favor?

There's a distinction between willful ingratiation and just doing things that seem fun despite the possibility that someone will presume ingratiating motivations. I hang out here because I like it here. I write songs because I like writing songs, and because people enjoy listening to them—insofar as the latter is a motivation, it's much more selfish and narrow-reaching than any supposed political stumping or foot-in-the-door scheming: I enjoy positive feedback on my creative projects. Scandalous? Then we shut down Music and Projects, strip out any custom text from the user pages, and enforce a hard ban on self-links in comments.

There's also some room between the two charged endpoints of your assholes-and-phonies continuum, and that space between is where most people spend their time: just being, and doing, neither out of spite nor sycophancy. But that doesn't make a very sexy characterization, I know.

I've known real assholes in my life. I've known hardcore phonies. There's some overlap, but it's not consistent; the phonies tend to be charming, social liars, and the assholes mostly reject social charm out of weird (to me) antisocial pride, and it takes a real piece of work to effectively work both those angles.

But that's about 5% of the people I've spent time around. The other 95% are neither. Shades of gray, sure, everybody's a little different, some people trend toward jerkiness in some contexts, or toward super-saccharine wuvvy-duvvy oh-you-look-so-good-in-that kneejerks, and everybody has their hangups that bring out the worst; but when I look at the world I still mostly see fairly normal people just getting along and deserving the benefit of the doubt.

I'm trying to treat people and situations with a straight face. I'm trying to be generally positive about things. I'm trying not to let my knee jerk, or my temper flare, or my personal feelings poison my judgment. That's what I'm doing every day of my life in everything I do, when I can manage it, because it feels right. I don't always succeed, but I'm getting better at it, and when I do pull it off it's never left me regretting something I said or did.

How that gets interpreted as candy-coating and phoniness is, emotionally, kind of beyond me. I can see the arguments, I can see it in theory, but when you get down the gut it does genuinely confuse me.

I guess the real question is whether being made a mod on Metafilter is an advancement. I'm really not so sure. I know that I certainly wouldn't want any more reasons for people to attack the things I do on this site.

It's a damned good question. It's an advancement, absolutely, along a very specific vector—it's just not a sexy or win-win vector. I don't, particularly, want more reasons to have people get on my ass, no, but it goes with the territory. But I do like helping out with the site, and believe it or not having a hand helping steady the cart is an engaging and rewarding experience that comes out for me a bit above the goofy lovefest stuff. If this thing sticks, I won't regret it, and if it doesn't, c'est la vie—I like it here too much to be sorely troubled in either case.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:13 AM on March 5, 2007

Can you see that a segment of people who think that the candy-coating that is required in order to be diplomatic is essentially phony. But there's no doubt about it. You obviously get farther in life by ingratiating yourself to people in the position of advancing you than you do by spitting at them.

What I see is that the segment you are speaking of (for?) reveal themselves by their assumptions. By insisting that no one can be genuinely nice or truly believe in diplomacy (cooperation) as a higher end, they reveal that at heart, they are poisonously egocentric. Honestly, it's one of the more damning confirmation biases I can think of. People who can never bring themselves to trust in the good intentions of others clearly have none of their own to reference, and are therefore not themselves to be trusted.

But they are wrong in their assessments of their fellow humans. There are many, many people out their who are sociable by nature, and who genuinely like sociable interactions with others. For them, getting along is not a chore or a lie, it is an end in itself. It is actually the point. They see consensus not as grudging surrender, but as a path towards a possible sum greater than the parts. For them, diplomacy is not just a phony attempt to avoid conflict, because these people actually believe that those they disagree with might actually have something valid to share. Diplomacy, then, is an opportunity at reaching a greater understanding and creating something better than either side might have supported to begin with. These people are often seen as naive.

I'm at about the average of these two world views, but not because I'm in the middle. Rather, I inhabit both extremes simultaneously. So I love and hate everyone in about equal measure. That doesn't make me particularly special, but it does allow me to get over myself just enough to realize that coloring everyone else with my own motivations would be a huge mistake. Because even I'm not very consistant. The other 6 billion people? I'm guessing there's room for a little variation.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:18 AM on March 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

There are many, many people out there who are sociable by nature, and who genuinely like sociable interactions with others. For them, getting along is not a chore or a lie, it is an end in itself. It is actually the point. They see consensus not as grudging surrender, but as a path towards a possible sum greater than the parts.

Hear, hear. I'm always grimly amused when I read comments by people who can't seem to grasp that such a thing exists. As you say, they reveal nothing other than their own limitations.

And cortex, while I admire your manful attempts to get everyone to see the light, it ain't gonna happen. Some people, no matter what you say, will just smirk and think "Yeah, sure, you would say that!" Feel sorry for them or ignore them, but don't waste any more time responding to them.
posted by languagehat at 7:31 AM on March 5, 2007

What's really eating me about this whole thing is that I somehow wrote "their" for "there" up they're. I fuckin' hate that. I'll never trust myself again!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:38 AM on March 5, 2007

People who can never bring themselves to trust in the good intentions of others clearly have none of their own to reference, and are therefore not themselves to be trusted.

I think that's too harsh. A lot of people have been burnt; skepticism and caution are pretty normal responses. It frustrates me when I end up at an impasse with someone simply because they won't believe that I'm not trying to hose them, but that's the way it goes. I'm probably just as frustrating to them.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:43 AM on March 5, 2007

These aren't your garden variety skeptics we're talking about cortex. That's probably why you can't understand them anymore than they can understand you. You're freakin' aliens to each other. I'm a hard-core skeptic. But even I can conceive that there are people out there who genuinely like other people, and want the best for each other. That there are truly nice people, and sweet people, and playful people, and people who put others above themselves out of genuine caring, and not for some repressed form of self-aggrandizement. The segment of people Dave Faris is talking about, though - they think all those people are being disingenuous, and at heart, their "niceness" is just self-serving. They honestly don't believe in you. You might as well be the tooth fairy. This is not because they have been burnt. This is because they are the fire.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:55 AM on March 5, 2007

oh man, irfh is one smart cookie.
posted by shmegegge at 7:56 AM on March 5, 2007

What I see is that the segment you are speaking of (for?) reveal themselves by their assumptions.

I have to say, I was speaking of, not for. Several people expressed puzzlement over the possibility that someone could be so cynical as to think everyone has ulterior motives and every process is a machiavellian power play. Let's just say that I'm not in that camp, but I can see it pretty well. I do think that Cortex has been grooming himself to be a mod here for years, though... not that there's anything wrong with that.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:22 AM on March 5, 2007

I have to say, I was speaking of, not for.

I thought that was the case, but I didn't want to presume.

Let's just say that I'm not in that camp, but I can see it pretty well.

Same here. It's an internal battle I fight pretty constantly.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:30 AM on March 5, 2007

I do think that Cortex has been grooming himself to be a mod here for years, though

If I have been, it's been without my knowing it, Dave. Certainly not in any sense of trying to Make Myself A Candidate. Idle thoughts, now and then, but the first serious thought I gave to the idea of actual moderation was when Matt brought it up to me.

Mostly I've just argued policy and such in metatalk because I find a lot of the arguments (and larger-scale meta-arguments) about the site interesting, and I like this place enough to voice my opinion when something worth debating comes up. And for all the warts and snipery that shows up here, it's a pretty great place to meaningfully argue much of the time.

In that sense, there are a lot of folks here who could be taken to be grooming themselves for moderation, intentionally or not, I guess.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:35 AM on March 5, 2007

I've been grooming myself for several years, now. I do it for the ladies. But personally, I wouldn't mod an Internet community for all the "T" in "Mr. T." And that's a metric assload of "T."
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:53 AM on March 5, 2007

If nominated, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve.
posted by languagehat at 11:07 AM on March 5, 2007

I do think that Cortex has been grooming himself to be a mod here for years, though

If I have been, it's been without my knowing it, Dave.

cortex: the Metafilterian Candidate
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:26 AM on March 5, 2007 [1 favorite]

If drugged and smuggled onto an airplane, I pity the fool!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:26 AM on March 5, 2007

If nominated, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve.

"The tales had to do with the psychic powers that he'd supposedly inherited from his mother's side of the family who, he claimed, had lived at the smarter end of Transylvania. That is to say, he didn't make any such claim at all, and said it was the most absurd nonsense. He strenuously denied that there were bats of any kind at all in his family and threatened to sue anybody who put about such malicious fabrications, but he affected nevertheless to wear a large and flappy leather coat, and had one of those machines in his room which are supposed to help cure bad backs if you hang upside down from them. He would allow people to discover him hanging from this machine at all kinds of odd hours of the day and more particularly of the night, expressly so that he could vigorously deny that it had any significance whatsoever."
posted by shmegegge at 12:30 PM on March 5, 2007 [2 favorites]

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