88 lines of HTML make my wrists hurt just thinking about it

February 14, 2007 11:04 PM

The greatest mefi song ever to date. Dios mio, cortex.
posted by mathowie (staff) to MetaFilter Music at 11:04 PM (91 comments total)

cortex he crazy man he sing songs write songs make sense no one outside gray crazy
posted by cgc373 at 11:24 PM on February 14, 2007

I'll post the same comment I posted over in the Music thread...

This is amazing!... I'm a newbie, but this helps all of the MetaFilter history come to life.
posted by amyms at 11:31 PM on February 14, 2007

Wow, there's more history contained in those links than in the entire MeFi History tag! Should be required reading.
posted by Brittanie at 11:31 PM on February 14, 2007

I am honored to be included, cortex, and in the same stanza with konolia, Miguel and madamjjj...
posted by wendell at 11:43 PM on February 14, 2007

You are the bard of Metafilter, cortex.
posted by clockzero at 11:44 PM on February 14, 2007

The last time I was mentioned in a web-based parody was in 2000, Nikolai Nolan's "We Didn't Start the Weblogs" (broken page, mp3 gone byebye, but scroll down to read the hyperlinked lyrics... of mostly dead links... still, it's among the last surviving evidence that I was blogging at the Turn of the Millennium). I recently remembered that because ytmnd now has its own self-referencial "We Didn't Start..." (loud) song.

Of course, 88 Lines and the Nails totally pwn Billy Joel, and the only other comparable pop song was 1974's 'bubblegum rap' "Life Is a Rock But the Radio Rolled Me" which I seriously do NOT recommend anyone (even cortex) try at home.
posted by wendell at 12:03 AM on February 15, 2007

Heh, I thought that said cortex came out in the gray. Fortunately I reread it before rushing over here to see.

This is really awesome. I love that there are references for everything, they lift this beyond a cool joke to a genuine community resource.
posted by shelleycat at 12:09 AM on February 15, 2007

Yay! (reprise)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:38 AM on February 15, 2007

Like amyns, I too will post what I wrote over in the MeFi Music thread.

Holy crap! I've been mentioned in a song written and sung by one of my favorite and most talented MeFi contributors!

Cortex, I won a Wii but it wasn't until now that I truly won.

This song, like pretty much every song you have ever written and posted here in the black, is excellent. No, it is above excellent. Beyond it. It transcends it. It is something that cannot be described with mere words.

Thank you. Thank you not only for mentioning me in one of your songs, but for being a model MeFite and for giving so much of yourself to a community that you clearly love. Kudos!
posted by Effigy2000 at 12:55 AM on February 15, 2007

Strewth!
posted by Jofus at 1:09 AM on February 15, 2007

Third place is the first loser. It is clear that I have nothing left I can achieve --I still resent the necessity of joining one of the uberguilds to beat endgame content-- I shall be selling my account on ebay. I figure an account with a gold star is probably worth $10 at least.
posted by hindmost at 1:16 AM on February 15, 2007

Hee! Fantastic!

Lonely Scots had hoped to meet her

sgt. serenity is pining still, I hear.
posted by jack_mo at 2:47 AM on February 15, 2007

If the gold stars must be restricted to post-of-the-month winners (is that right? Is that what they're for?), then we clearly need to expand the honors system in other ways! How about the Silver Mushroom of Metatude?
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 2:59 AM on February 15, 2007

Wonderful, wonderful! Sidebar it!
posted by soundofsuburbia at 3:36 AM on February 15, 2007

Holy mother of fuck. This is awesome.
posted by slimepuppy at 4:01 AM on February 15, 2007

I like the "aaahhh ah ah ah ah ah ah" part.
posted by ND¢ at 4:14 AM on February 15, 2007

I think I'm going to cry, you fucking assholes. *sniff*
posted by loquacious at 4:17 AM on February 15, 2007

I would like to retract a two-word phrase I used earlier in the week. That phrase is "self-appointed."
posted by Dave Faris at 4:53 AM on February 15, 2007

But not "bombastic," because it rhymes with "fantastic."
posted by Dave Faris at 5:14 AM on February 15, 2007

anus-expose-averse is totally going to be my new band name.
posted by mathowie at 2:27 AM EST on February 15 [+]

I'll never say this song is useless without pictures, believe me.

(Wendell, no, it it I who am honored to share a stanza with you, old buddy.)

Cortex, this is mindbogglingy awesome, btw.
posted by konolia at 5:37 AM on February 15, 2007

Fantastic, cortex!

(I'll always have a soft spot for Cortex since his was the first MeFi swap CD I ever received, and damn good it was too. I still listen to quite a few of the tracks.)
posted by salmacis at 5:44 AM on February 15, 2007

*rubs sleep from eyes*

Thanks, everybody. Like all the other mefi tunes, it was a lot of fun to put this together, but this one was a bit more energy-sucking. If I could travel back in time, I'd do my research slightly differently and probably save myself a couple hours in the process.

I'm sure that someone could do the same sort of thing for other community-driven sites, but I'm not sure there's anywhere that it'd make quite the same sort of weird sense as it does on metafilter. And a huge tip of the hat to tamim, whereever he is.
posted by cortex at 5:51 AM on February 15, 2007

48909 couplets to go.
posted by cillit bang at 5:57 AM on February 15, 2007

Worth it to hear someone say "hurf durf butter eater" out loud. Hee.
posted by sugarfish at 5:59 AM on February 15, 2007

Words do not suffice. What a delightful, witty, hilarious, and totally cool song ... it's a treasure. And the real gift to us all is the priceless annotation, capturing some of mefi's most notable moments. Thank you so much cortex - for your cool creativity and all your hard work. (And thanks for including me in it, what a nice compliment!).

And what a nice tribute to MiHail!
posted by madamjujujive at 6:06 AM on February 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

ADD + OCD + creativity = cortex = love.
posted by dios at 6:08 AM on February 15, 2007

sgt. serenity is pining still, I hear.
posted by jack_mo at 10:47 AM


It's a bit hard to read the comments as i have painted my monitor black.
posted by sgt.serenity at 6:36 AM on February 15, 2007

Hey, sarge, I had trouble finding good citations for that one, actually. Any choice quotes from the posting history?
posted by cortex at 6:39 AM on February 15, 2007

At last I feel I and my tiny army of retarded clones have arrived.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:42 AM on February 15, 2007

!
posted by OmieWise at 6:49 AM on February 15, 2007

Awesome.
posted by ColdChef at 6:50 AM on February 15, 2007

I had trouble finding good citations for that one, actually.

Here is a lonely Scot pining, but only in jest I am afraid.
posted by ND¢ at 6:54 AM on February 15, 2007

Also he does not appear to be Scottish. I bet he is lonely though.
posted by ND¢ at 6:55 AM on February 15, 2007

Another jesterful one.
posted by ND¢ at 6:58 AM on February 15, 2007

Good, but it's no "We Didn't Start the Fire."
posted by melissa may at 7:11 AM on February 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Uh oh, melissa may. Now you've done it. Who will take up that gauntlet?
posted by litlnemo at 7:15 AM on February 15, 2007

I'll just reprise the coda of my MeMu comment:

Give that man a gold star!
posted by languagehat at 7:22 AM on February 15, 2007

Very cool!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:24 AM on February 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Soberbo! Fantástico! Excelente! Magnífico! Genial!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:55 AM on February 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

Yay! I am famous on the Internet! My dream has been achieved. Did you know my real name is in the real song as well?
posted by dame at 8:01 AM on February 15, 2007

Oh, I should have said "original." I'm sorry cortex; your song is real too.
posted by dame at 8:01 AM on February 15, 2007

I was feeling good already, but then Miguel showed up. Boa saúde, you Portugalian prince.
posted by cortex at 8:04 AM on February 15, 2007

"My dream has been achieved. Did you know my real name is in the real song as well?"

Hurf Durf, is that you?
posted by klangklangston at 8:09 AM on February 15, 2007

Well played, sir.
posted by Kwine at 8:09 AM on February 15, 2007

Ha ha, klang. Does the second link 6 make me look like a butter eater?
posted by dame at 8:15 AM on February 15, 2007

That was great. I tried to do something like this a year ago before a meetup, but couldn't get it together. I think I gave up after "The snarking can get pretty mean / but Alex is a drama queen." Kudos, c-man.

P.S. Did you ever decide on your band name? I was rooting for Man So Cool.
posted by ludwig_van at 8:21 AM on February 15, 2007

fandango_matt says he was working on something as well. I am a usurper of ideas, I guess.

And yes, that band is now officially The Man So Cool. Thanks, frontman's gradeschool daughter!
posted by cortex at 8:27 AM on February 15, 2007

It's got a good beat, and I can blog to it.
posted by eddydamascene at 8:37 AM on February 15, 2007

Holy shit, I'm famous. God bless you cortex. The line to fellate me forms to the left, ladies.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:58 AM on February 15, 2007

Holy flipping shit, that's awesome!
posted by Skorgu at 8:58 AM on February 15, 2007

That's fantastic!

Although, you didn't say the "88 lines about 44 MeFites" part at the end.

And isn't it pronounced MEE-fite?

And you probably could have left in the "certain vegetables and fruits" line.

It's still fantastic, though!
posted by yhbc at 9:08 AM on February 15, 2007

Although, you didn't say the "88 lines about 44 MeFites" part at the end.

I did a couple takes, but they sounded silly to me. Decided to go with the slow fade instead.

And isn't it pronounced MEE-fite?

MEH-fie. MEH-fite. We will forever be at odds on this.

And you probably could have left in the "certain vegetables and fruits" line.

Yeah, but at least I kept the "* was a feminist" line in paraphrased form.
posted by cortex at 9:14 AM on February 15, 2007

All this time I've thought mathowie's was said Math Owie. I have to stop skimming.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:16 AM on February 15, 2007

I will save the time I spend by leaving words out of my posts.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:17 AM on February 15, 2007

MEH-fie. MEH-fite. We will forever be at odds on this.

I concur. MEH-fite is the way for me. MEE-fite makes me think that the site is called MEETafilter or better yet MEATafilter; not that I would mind that at all… Mmmm MEATblog…

I would proudly post my “Jiffs” on this meatblogs…
posted by French Fry at 9:24 AM on February 15, 2007

Greatest Valentine's present ever! cortex - you are seriously the shit.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:32 AM on February 15, 2007

I'm too new and unimportant to even dream of appearing in something like this, but I'm immeasurably happy that cortex pronounces it as meh-fite.
posted by Partial Law at 10:11 AM on February 15, 2007

Meeeefite.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:33 AM on February 15, 2007

I see nothing wrong with calling this place MEATafilter.
posted by Meatbomb at 10:33 AM on February 15, 2007

MEH-fie. MEH-fite. We will forever be at odds on this.

So by that logic, the green is pronounced "Ask-Meh?" I don't think so. I've always called it "Mee-fye," for what little it's worth.

Did you know my real name is in the real original song as well?

Ok. I'll bite. Which one were you?
posted by Dave Faris at 10:33 AM on February 15, 2007

So by that logic, the green is pronounced "Ask-Meh?"

Logic is for suckers. Or, if I really wanted to make an argument, I'd point out that the "me" component's pronunciation depends on it's position within a compound, so that [Mefi, Mefite] are separate cases from [AskMe].

Ok. I'll bite. Which one were you?

FACT: dame's real name is Bobbisox.
posted by cortex at 10:40 AM on February 15, 2007

Oh well. Who am I to question the King of Metatalk, even if he's wrong?
posted by Dave Faris at 10:46 AM on February 15, 2007

Indeed. Desist, lest I be forced to discuss my boggle score.
posted by cortex at 10:56 AM on February 15, 2007

Wow.
posted by IronLizard at 11:07 AM on February 15, 2007

Sarah. But I think they spell it wrong. I am also not a modern dancer, nor a lean, prinstine transparency. (Yes, I have the song memorized.) Too bad there aren't any girls named Dave, though.
posted by dame at 11:40 AM on February 15, 2007

Right up there with Den Bestes' This is the single best entry I have ever read, written by anyone, anywhere, on any blog for being an underwhelming waste of time to read, let alone to listen to.
posted by y2karl at 11:41 AM on February 15, 2007

No girls named Dave, but lots of Daves.
posted by Mister_A at 11:45 AM on February 15, 2007

And well met, cortex!
iBravo!
posted by Mister_A at 11:46 AM on February 15, 2007

y2hate, y2karl?
posted by cgc373 at 11:48 AM on February 15, 2007

for being an underwhelming waste of time to read, let alone to listen to

Maybe if there had been more about Iraq?
posted by nanojath at 11:48 AM on February 15, 2007

Actually, I wish to take that back. My apologies for being so harsh and making such a snap judgment. It took a lot of work, shows a lot of talent and people really like it. It is an order of several magnitudes lot better than Den Beste's link--it's just not to my taste.
posted by y2karl at 11:54 AM on February 15, 2007

way2love, y2karl! +1!
posted by cgc373 at 11:58 AM on February 15, 2007

Eh 2 karl?
posted by French Fry at 11:58 AM on February 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

It's all good, y2karl.

*quietly tables mathowatha project*
posted by cortex at 12:00 PM on February 15, 2007

y2krankypants
posted by mathowie (staff) at 12:10 PM on February 15, 2007

So much for music having charms to soothe the savage breast.
posted by Dave Faris at 12:15 PM on February 15, 2007

Dammit, Faris, now I'm imagining karl as a feral mammary. And it's just ew. Slavering nipple and everything.
posted by cortex at 12:29 PM on February 15, 2007

OMG. Dave Faris is my mom.
posted by dame at 12:57 PM on February 15, 2007

Hey cortex, awesome song. Keep on keeping on buddy.
posted by onalark at 1:00 PM on February 15, 2007

And another vote for a special character in front of cortex's name. I think a musical note has been suggested before. How about beamed eight notes? : ♫
posted by onalark at 1:08 PM on February 15, 2007

So by that logic, the green is pronounced "Ask-Meh?"

Only in Manchester.
posted by jack_mo at 1:17 PM on February 15, 2007

Boondoggle
posted by prostyle at 1:28 PM on February 15, 2007

Eh 2 karl?

More like Meh 2.
posted by y2karl at 2:13 PM on February 15, 2007

More like Meh 2.

Yeeaah. Should have been "Et" 2 anyway. Sigh.

French Fry quietly lights his humanities degree on fire…
posted by French Fry at 2:29 PM on February 15, 2007

I think you should write and stage a production called Orange Julius Caesar.
posted by cortex at 2:33 PM on February 15, 2007

who fought his enemy Alexander The Grape.
posted by jonmc at 2:45 PM on February 15, 2007

With a walk-on by Christopher Walken as Vice-Admiral Tang.
posted by cortex at 3:00 PM on February 15, 2007

They could battle for hold of the Food Court, so many franchise puns.
posted by French Fry at 3:07 PM on February 15, 2007

"I come to seize your Arby's, not to praise it!"
posted by cortex at 3:10 PM on February 15, 2007

Tony Roma's wasn't built in a day, you know.
posted by safetyfork at 5:48 PM on February 15, 2007

Words do not suffice. What a delightful, witty, hilarious, and totally cool song ... it's a treasure. And the real gift to us all is the priceless annotation, capturing some of mefi's most notable moments. Thank you so much cortex - for your cool creativity and all your hard work. (And thanks for including me in it, what a nice compliment!).

What juju said : >
posted by amberglow at 8:25 PM on February 16, 2007