What Comic Character Would You Be?

August 23, 2006 7:34 PM

If MeFi was a comic, would we all be small furry creatures or what? Would we be drawn like Doonesbury? Would it be a one panel or a strip? Would Matt be the lead character? Would it be more than one strip?
posted by ZachsMind to MetaFilter-Related at 7:34 PM (57 comments total)

I'm only doing this because Navelgazer asked so nicely. However, I couldn't rationalize posting it to AskMF, aka 'the green.' Maybe it's not suitable for 'the brown.' I guess we'll find out, eh?

Please feel free to throw caution to the wind and be creatively expletitive about it! Or. Y'know. Just move on to the next thread.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:35 PM on August 23, 2006

You mean you guys aren't small furry creatures?
posted by monju_bosatsu at 7:45 PM on August 23, 2006

I pretty much am a cartoon character.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:49 PM on August 23, 2006

I'm not a cartoon character, but my husband is. Just ask him.
posted by booksherpa at 7:49 PM on August 23, 2006

I'm a cartoon character! I'm a cartoon character! *squeak*
posted by skitchen at 7:51 PM on August 23, 2006

posted by owhydididoit at 7:53 PM on August 23, 2006

Not sure what we'd look like, but we would be covered in sharp, poisonous spikes, that much I do know.
posted by dg at 7:54 PM on August 23, 2006

Was there some kind of angel dust meetup today?
posted by kosem at 7:54 PM on August 23, 2006 [1 favorite]

Unfortunately, I am not a small furry animal.

I'm a rather large furry animal. Freaky.
posted by loquacious at 7:57 PM on August 23, 2006

I thought MetaFilter was a webcomic.
posted by whir at 8:04 PM on August 23, 2006

Perhaps a cross between Andy Capp and Something Positive?
posted by edgeways at 8:07 PM on August 23, 2006

So long as we're not all different kinds of cars with eyeballs on our windshields. I can't believe Pixar followed up The Incredibles with that piece of dreck.

Maybe we're all animated computer monitors, like the Banana 9000 from Bloom County.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:32 PM on August 23, 2006

If this is where we all have to pick an avatar and a cute "sig" to put after each of our comments, then I'm out of here.

can someone do me rolling my eyes? and holding a beer?
posted by yhbc at 8:55 PM on August 23, 2006

Would it be gay if I shaved my nads?
posted by The Jesse Helms at 9:10 PM on August 23, 2006

Each character would be portrayed by cymbal-clapping monkey dolls, each identical but for the colour of their fez.
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:13 PM on August 23, 2006

Some of MeFi's characters practically draw themselves, like jonson ...
posted by Quietgal at 9:43 PM on August 23, 2006

actually, i have been meaning to ask why metafilter doesn't have a cute animal mascot...
posted by troybob at 9:55 PM on August 23, 2006

owhydididoit: never! Tibor Gergely will always reign supreme.

posted by needs more cowbell at 10:01 PM on August 23, 2006

I Was A Teenage Comic Book Character!


posted by ericb at 10:01 PM on August 23, 2006

actually, i have been meaning to ask why metafilter doesn't have a cute animal mascot...

That would be ceiling cat.
posted by Rhomboid at 10:04 PM on August 23, 2006

Oolong!
posted by dg at 10:10 PM on August 23, 2006

As near as I can tell, metafilter is just every installment of Zippy packed into a bunch of ones and zeros randomly.
posted by Football Bat at 10:38 PM on August 23, 2006

We do have a cute animal mascot!
posted by Lynsey at 10:46 PM on August 23, 2006

posted by gramschmidt at 10:52 PM on August 23, 2006 [7 favorites]

If MeFi was a comic...

Every issue would eventually turn out to be about the current administration, and eventually all characters would just pile up on dios. Then, at the letters section of the issue, half the letters would be about dios.

Every once in a while, circumcision or abortion or atheism would appear on an issue. Those issues would have 1200 pages, and yet no conclusion.

Every once in a while, the first page of an issue would consist only of "That cover sucks". The rest of the issue would be lots of nonsense and pictures like ceiling cat and shitting elephant.

Languagehat would totally be Cypher. Except he would have a hat.
posted by qvantamon at 2:08 AM on August 24, 2006

We'd all be really tiny automata chattering and yammering randomly and vibrating along the ground. Once in a while, someone would walk by, and we'd all start to coalesce into a full-sized human being (think Voltron, but with a lot more pieces) and say something whiny, like "How long is dios going to get away with this?" or something sort of helpful like "Not loving your baby is okay." and then dissolve back into an unrecognizable swarm. There wouldn't really be much in the way of plot or storyline or humor, so not many readers. The article we created ourselves on Wikipedia (while in a rare state of cohesion) would be deleted quickly for "non-notability".
posted by Plutor at 3:32 AM on August 24, 2006

posted by MiguelCardoso at 4:07 AM on August 24, 2006

Jerkcity, we'd be Jerkcity (text NSFW). Or possibly that really boring and horrible one that I can't remember the name of, where the cartoonist takes his banal online chats and illustrates them as a long series of talking head panels. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

OH JEAN CHARLES YOU HAVE SPILLED DOM PERIGNON ALL OVER MY GUESTS
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 4:20 AM on August 24, 2006

We'd probably be Paul Kirchner's "The Bus" on a good day, Deuling With the Sword and Pistol during a blowout thread, and Deadliest Men: The World's Deadliest Combatants Throughout the Ages in MetaTalk.

Trollposts and self linking would be equivalent to Kirchner's Murder by Remote Control.
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:30 AM on August 24, 2006

posted by Otis at 5:17 AM on August 24, 2006 [2 favorites]

Otis FTW.
posted by Brainy at 5:34 AM on August 24, 2006

FTW...? Fuck the world?
posted by MrZero at 5:56 AM on August 24, 2006

FTW = For The Win.
posted by yeoz at 5:58 AM on August 24, 2006

actually, i have been meaning to ask why metafilter doesn't have a cute animal mascot...

That would be ceiling cat.

Can I be the elegant animal mascot?
posted by orange swan at 6:01 AM on August 24, 2006

But handsomer.
posted by jonmc at 6:01 AM on August 24, 2006

what, the mascot is not the pissing elephant?
posted by edgeways at 6:35 AM on August 24, 2006

FTW = intentional misrendering of WTF for inexplicable humorous value.
posted by cortex at 6:45 AM on August 24, 2006

brownpau has already been doing this.
posted by Stynxno at 7:10 AM on August 24, 2006

Zachsmind, I thank you.

But I still think it'd be the dialog from the comments coming out of the mouths of cleverly poster-specific manga characters in increasingly absurd battle situations.

I'd like that.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:30 AM on August 24, 2006

Somehow I thought of this.
posted by konolia at 9:41 AM on August 24, 2006

I thought of this.
posted by scheptech at 1:24 PM on August 24, 2006

I swear to God gramschmidt gives me a rodney AMIRITE.
posted by scrump at 2:05 PM on August 24, 2006

Whoa, gramschmidt, that's nice work! How can I subscribe to MetaFlighter: The Comic?
posted by Nice Donkey at 3:20 PM on August 24, 2006

ZachsMind: Where is "the brown" you speak of? Surely this is "the gray".

Webcomic - for some reason I tend to think of Meta as being more 'sinfest' like than anything else.
posted by Meep! Eek! at 6:34 PM on August 24, 2006

Apparently on different monitors the background is brown, not grey. I've never experienced that though.
posted by bob sarabia at 6:49 PM on August 24, 2006

bob sarabia writes "Apparently on different monitors the background is brown, not grey. I've never experienced that though."

Here's a screenshot of how it looks on my monitor, post yours for comparison:
.
posted by orthogonality at 7:34 PM on August 24, 2006

You beautiful son of a bitch.
posted by cortex at 8:25 PM on August 24, 2006

Looks the same on mine.
posted by bob sarabia at 8:26 PM on August 24, 2006

*cough*
posted by bob sarabia at 8:27 PM on August 24, 2006

Well, mine looks like this:


but, on my second monitor, like this:

posted by dg at 8:28 PM on August 24, 2006

posted by I EAT TAPAS at 10:58 PM on August 25, 2006

posted by Gucky at 11:16 PM on August 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

MetaFilter isn't a comic, it's a children's book from the 50s with all the un-PC art altered and the language made gender neutral. Oh, and the author's cigarette is erased.
Not really. I've just wanted to compare something to that for some time now, and this is the closest I've come to an appropriate situation.
posted by brundlefly at 6:22 AM on August 26, 2006

Panel five is me (the hair and freckles are spot on, although my glasses are missing); I frequently sit just like that.
posted by deborah at 8:27 AM on August 27, 2006

I'm in panel one, cropped hair, ringed shirt, blank stare at the monitor, that's all me.
posted by Brainy at 1:34 PM on August 28, 2006

panel two is pretty much me, though I'm usually smiling more than that.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:22 PM on August 28, 2006

It's taking all of my will-power to not name the people in the other panels.
posted by deborah at 2:37 PM on August 29, 2006