I also like email forwards

July 9, 2006 10:16 AM

Her banshee howling has me very confused, and yet wanting to laugh at the same time. I dare NOT. This whole time I have held laughter alternated with concern.

The funniest post I've read today. Deleted. Is it really a famous story I've never heard before, or is that an extremely itchy trigger finger on the deletion button?
posted by mrgrimm to MetaFilter-Related at 10:16 AM (31 comments total)

I mean, it's funny, but we all know how to read best of craigslist.
posted by ORthey at 10:23 AM on July 9, 2006

I thought it was crap.
posted by puke & cry at 10:35 AM on July 9, 2006

Today's post are just not very funny, is all.
posted by JanetLand at 10:36 AM on July 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

Absolute crap. Which was the funny, the part about how the girl's genitals hurt?
posted by signal at 10:42 AM on July 9, 2006

C'mon now, mrgrimm...tell us how you really feel.
posted by Smart Dalek at 10:45 AM on July 9, 2006

It's the weekend. I'm failing to see how leaving this on the front page is really that much of a problem. Itchy trigger finger, or burning trigger finger that causes the eruption of past, painful memories of genital burning? I kid, I kid.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 10:50 AM on July 9, 2006

Sheesh, grimm, do you get off on rape videos too? ;-P
posted by mischief at 10:53 AM on July 9, 2006

First they came for the Craigslist porn, and I said nothing.
posted by bardic at 11:00 AM on July 9, 2006

Why should it being the weekend make a difference?
posted by Gator at 11:11 AM on July 9, 2006

Is there a requirement in the Craigslist Terms of Service agreement that you had to have failed every English class you ever took? Reading that screed was painful. Why do people randomly throw tildes in the middle of sentences? And why is the concept of a paragraph so hard to grasp?
posted by Rhomboid at 11:53 AM on July 9, 2006

I coulda sworn that I saw this exact story on MeFi before...
posted by klangklangston at 12:02 PM on July 9, 2006

At least there would be no difficulty in choosing what to click if all posts were 3 year old vacuous prattle.
posted by peacay at 12:09 PM on July 9, 2006

I mean, it's funny, but we all know how to read best of craigslist.

We all know how to read the internets too. Yet here we are. Plus, I no longer subscribe to Penthouse letters.
posted by srboisvert at 12:44 PM on July 9, 2006

I tried to read it, but it hurt my eyes and I had to stop.
posted by EarBucket at 12:44 PM on July 9, 2006

I coulda sworn that I saw this exact story on MeFi before...

I may have once written a tale about a roommate who was dicing up habaneros, who then went to take a leak and forgot to wash his hands. All we heard was him screaming and the sound of him tearing down the shower curtain and him crashing bodily into the hastily started shower.

But I'm not trawling my archives to see if it's actually there or not.
posted by loquacious at 12:53 PM on July 9, 2006

Rhomboid: I throw tildes in the middle of sentences as indicators for italics ("..it was a ~very~ crappy post.."). It's an old habit from the days when you didn't have the option of using real italics (Fidonet days). (I doubt that I'll break the habit after all these years, either.) The guy from Craigslist doesn't seem to be using them in any useful way, though.

As for paragraphs, I think some people just don't know where to end one & start a new one, and so they just don't do it at all. It's annoying as all hell, since a break anywhere would be better than no break at all.
posted by Meep! Eek! at 1:17 PM on July 9, 2006

I spent years of my life posting to Fidonet, and italics were done like /this/, bold like *this*, and underline like _this_. None of those is what the poster was going for when he typed, "Decide to make some food ~~ some spicy food". If I was that person's English teacher I would have hanged myself by now.
posted by Rhomboid at 1:53 PM on July 9, 2006

!Word!
posted by mischief at 3:25 PM on July 9, 2006

"~~" means rougish eyebrow waggle because a girl is going to fiddle with my balls while watching LOTR: Two Towers and eating quesidillers, duh! $^$
posted by Divine_Wino at 3:48 PM on July 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

Dudes, Penthouse Forum is so much better than Penthouse Letters.
posted by bardic at 4:24 PM on July 9, 2006

We all know how to read the internets too

We don't generally link to "Best of Craigslist" just like we don't generally link to "The Onion", weird eBay auctions or anything else that everyone who likes that sort of thing routinely checks out for themselves.
posted by jonson at 5:01 PM on July 9, 2006

"We don't generally link to "Best of Craigslist" just like we don't generally link to "The Onion", weird eBay auctions or anything else that everyone who likes that sort of thing routinely checks out for themselves."

Like Youtube?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:06 PM on July 9, 2006

Oh no you di'n't.
posted by Gator at 5:10 PM on July 9, 2006

A friend of mine had a much, much funnier story about how he tore his frenulum during a particularly frenzied porking. It was like a Peckinpah movie, apparently. They were both screaming because neither could decide who was bleeding or why. Disaster sex is always a total riot in the re-telling.
posted by Decani at 5:43 PM on July 9, 2006

It was a bad post and I'm not opposed to it being deleted at all. I was drunk and had a hankering for some easy-to-make recipes with jalapenos and I stumbled across an extremely stupid story on craigslist. Thought it was funny at the time so I (mistakenly) posted it.
posted by purephase at 6:10 PM on July 9, 2006

Yes, I've been told that I was using the incorrect symbols to italicize. But by the time I graduated to Fido, it was ingrained. The people that I spoke with regularly were aware of it, and it was fairly obvious in context what I meant.

And I agree completely, his use of it doesn't seem to have any particular purpose. Perhaps he was making sure that people were aware that he knew where the tilde key was? As for his English teacher.. do you think he had one? If so, I wouldn't be surprised if s/he is in some sort of asylum after correcting that kind of dreck.
posted by Meep! Eek! at 6:45 PM on July 9, 2006

He was using it as an elipsies ... another halmark of poor writers
posted by delmoi at 7:33 PM on July 9, 2006

You don't ... say.
posted by Rhomboid at 7:37 PM on July 9, 2006

As someone whose genitals burn all the time, this post made my day just a little bit more miserable.

Go fuck yourself.

... oh, wait.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:17 PM on July 9, 2006

ROFL.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 9:13 PM on July 9, 2006

an elipsies ... another halmark of poor writers

...whereas quality writers indulge in creative misspellings of "ellipsis / ellipses (pl)" and "hallmark", right?

Apart from that, Louis-Ferdinand Celine would disagree with you...
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:32 PM on July 9, 2006